Going C-c-c-cuhrazy

[Birdy]

And I need some advice.
I don't know if anyone has noticed my absence from STP but I went on my little vacation to my mom's house during winter break.
I had an absolute BLAST and want to move back so so so bad, but my dad told me no. I'm 16 and people have been telling me that legally I am aloud to make that choice and he can't stop me.
Well more to the story;
My friend just went to JDC for GTA. I had written a few letters but never mailed them out and decided to one day so he knows that I care. Well my dad got to the letters since he was home that day and totally blew up and accused me of only wanting to move in with my mom for him, but that's not even a reason. Sure I'd love to see him all the time, but I want to move because, well damn it I'm 16 and the beach is just nice because everything is within a 15 minute walk. He freaked out and took away my car, computer and phone.
He also told me if I hurt myself (I have a habit of burning interesting symbols into my skin) or run away he'll send me away to a home. At this point I'm kinda wondering if that would be so bad. Running away isn't an option because that would just get me into more shit and I have no one to run with.

I guess I just need to vent and I could really use some advice from the older crowd on what to do.
My dad is blaming everything on my mom and clearwater and sayin that if I move there I'm going to go nowhere with my life, but that's not fucking true. I don't want to be a mothafuckin money machine I just want to be happy. Whether that means a successful job or not.

 

[finn]

Well, I don't know what advice I can give since I don't have much of a sense of the situation. I mean your father is freaking out, but that's not so unusual, most parents do that all the time. Crazy parents do tend to mellow out with time, unless you are talking about an actual mental illness, in which case untreated, it gets worse and then it might come down to you having to pull a weapon on them because they've pulled a knife... But I don't think that's what you're talking about, but if it is, then I do have advice and stories and traumatic memories. I have no idea what kind of person he is or what his rationale is, and the same goes for your mom.

The main point here is about you and your father, what kind of relationship you share and how to communicate with him. Make sure you exhaust that route (and I don't mean do it until you feel frustrated, beyond that) so that both of you can figure out what the fears and desires and whatever is important are. Right now, he doesn't trust you, and you kind of have to figure out why and work on that. So you don't have to be best friends, but on speaking terms (ironically, this becomes so much easier when you aren't living under their roof). Don't ever tell him (or even hint) about trainhopping or hitchhiking or squatting though.

 

[IBRRHOBO]

dealing w/th moving out and 'leagally' comment. it boils down to the divorce decree. u can naturally have a guardian ad lidem appointed (it's free and legal aid would walk u thru it) and petition the court. u have to have a LEGITIMATE reason, though, to have the order altered. it appears ur father has 'custody' so the court is going to be extremely cautious as it would be reversing its original ruling and thus saying it is wrong. that's why u have to have what is commonly known as a compelling reason.

take some heed to finn's statement as well.

good luck.

 

[Ravie]

know what? fuck that. you obviously know what will make you happy. remember its about how comfortable you are at home, dont stress about anyone else. if you want to live with your mom, and she's a suitable mother, talk to her and im sure she'll know what to do. oh and by the way, please dont complain about getting your car taken away...your 16, most kids dont get their own car until much later. your lucky you have one at all.

 

[Birdy]

Thanks guys for your help. Things have been going a bit better, but not as fast as I would like and my mom has been telling me to just be patient. Which is hard for me.

Hahaa ravie the car thing doesn't really bother me since I have to good feet =) It's just stressful with my pops since he can be really harsh about stuff, but things have mellowed out a lot and I've talked to a social worker. She told me to just take things one at a time and I have been and it's been helping a lot (normally I focus on too many things at once and it just ends up being a huge stressful let down)

Thank you guys so much for caring. It means a lot.

 

[Ravie]

hey man have you read some of my posts? talk about these guys listening to problems and trying to help! they might as well read my journals haha

 

[Birdy]

Haha I know man. I love 'em. Like my second family.