wokofshame
Well-known member
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2006
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yeah damn just needed to vent.
I've living up here in NH for a couple months working here and Boston and living out in the woods in a log cabin, been trying to hold out until new year's so i can shoot fireworks with the dozens of old friends i know will show up. anyway, things are just going wrong by the dozen, my friend's truck that's our transportation to work had broken down, i lost a knife and a wallet with 400 bucks, ID and a foodstamp card i need to go to portland to replace, the same friend's alcoholism has gotten worse and we drive home every morning with him seriously drunk (drink and smoke at work all nite) and getting abusive, other places to stay have dried up, subzero whether has set in, etc
I'm almost about to drop it all and get on a train again. Off a train for a few months it starts to seriously bother me and i have intense yearning, both awake and asleep, to be back in the throat of the yard hearing that diesel chug and watching the headlight gleam spread it's illumination on the rails, running, watching cars, catching on and hiding and rolling, rolling into a tow.n the next day and saying "Fuck You, I made it" to those demons that haunt you.
It's just that i know both impulses are right and that terrible hunger just consumes you until you give in and any amount of time is too much.
I've living up here in NH for a couple months working here and Boston and living out in the woods in a log cabin, been trying to hold out until new year's so i can shoot fireworks with the dozens of old friends i know will show up. anyway, things are just going wrong by the dozen, my friend's truck that's our transportation to work had broken down, i lost a knife and a wallet with 400 bucks, ID and a foodstamp card i need to go to portland to replace, the same friend's alcoholism has gotten worse and we drive home every morning with him seriously drunk (drink and smoke at work all nite) and getting abusive, other places to stay have dried up, subzero whether has set in, etc
I'm almost about to drop it all and get on a train again. Off a train for a few months it starts to seriously bother me and i have intense yearning, both awake and asleep, to be back in the throat of the yard hearing that diesel chug and watching the headlight gleam spread it's illumination on the rails, running, watching cars, catching on and hiding and rolling, rolling into a tow.n the next day and saying "Fuck You, I made it" to those demons that haunt you.
It's just that i know both impulses are right and that terrible hunger just consumes you until you give in and any amount of time is too much.
