Your ideal final exit off the road? (1 Viewer)


Wise Sage
May 30, 2018
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Central Coast, California
We're talking about it in a thread about not wanting to die in Florida, so okay it got me thinking. If I get to choose, where do I want to die? Obviously we can't control this but we can influence the outcome to some degree.

I always wanted to die at work, after my morning coffee but before my coworkers arrived. I want my coworkers or ideally my boss to find my body because I don't want family/friends dealing with that shit... but that wasn't a specific place that was just a feeling I wanted to die OTJ to save those closest to me that final suffering. My dad found my mom and I could see how hard that was for him.

Is there a vista I'd want to see while I pass? I don't know - it seems like depending on my level of suffering I might not be able to enjoy it.

Do I want creatures of the wild to pick me clean? Meh I guess I don't have a strong preference.

I think I'd prefer if my passing was instant so these days I guess that means I'll get hit by a car on my bicycle. Though it would be sad if it was an accident because I wouldn't want a good person to be burdened by the memory of killing me. Since I'm in Miami, it should be some asshole in a Ferrari on coke-fueled rampage and then they get caught because it's the middle of the day downtown haha.

How about you? Post pictures if it's someplace specific, if you can.
If that's too morbid, where's the ideal place you'd want to live?
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Wise Sage
Aug 9, 2020
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I don't want to die in a hospital, or in long term care. I'd rather live out my days somewhere it is warm and sunny, where i can sit on a beach under a palm tree, and drink booze, and listen to some tunes, and watch beautiful people walking by. I think if i start to get to a point where i can't look after myself any more, i'd want to bow out on my own terms. Big party, give whatever money and belongings i have left to community organizations, then call in a specialist for assisted suicide.

Of course, i say that now in my 40s. Maybe in my 60s or 80s i will have changed my mind. I suspect i will still want to be somewhere warm and sunny, though, a place where bananas grow and guys slice up pineapples with a machete. Caribbean. South China Sea. Possibly the Med.


Aug 9, 2011
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Laramie, United States
the best time to die would have been when i was younger in the middle of an adventure that felt like it meant something, sick with pneumonia alone in an olive field in spain or lost in the desert in new mexico. now any of those things would come with too much baggage, i've got too many attachments in life, too much guilt in death.

I'd like to die doing something that means something to me. If i do a trip where I'm specifically helping people or shit even if i'm standing up for someone and i get shot about it I think that would be a decent way to go. Otherwise i'd like to make it to sixty and have enough time to reminisce with whoever else has survived that long with me.

Matt Derrick

Permanent Wanderer
Staff member
Aug 4, 2006
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Austin, TX
“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!”
― Hunter S. Thompson, The Proud Highway: Saga of a Desperate Southern Gentleman, 1955-1967
I hope I can go out in some exciting fashion, but i fully realize I'll probably just blow my brains out when I'm ready to get off this plane of existence. I don't imagine that happening until im 60 or so, and I know it's a morbid thought, but the thought of it doesn't make me sad, I'm just choosing to move on when I'm ready.


Aug 13, 2019
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Southern Arizona
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

Sorry, I couldn't resist that one, as I suspect this thread could use some levity, as it's a pretty heavy topic...

Anyway, as for me, peacefully in my sleep, of old age, but not in a hospital or care facility. I've been in those, and there isn't anything peaceful about either one. Hopefully this is quite a ways off; even though I'm certainly not getting any younger...


May 25, 2021
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Ellensburg, WA
I've given this a lot of though and I wish to grow old and die on the road, old enough to have valuable stories and insight to share with the younger generation. If I had to pick an exact scenario I'd preferably like to die mid sentence around a jungle fire, telling some grand tale of how I fought off 10 bulls with nothing but a sock full of nickels or some other ridiculous thing that can only happen in our walk of life.


Sep 14, 2018
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Arcata, CA
I'm almost sixty, so in the not too distant future, but realistically, I don't think I know enough about mammalian anatomy to diy without fucking it up and I don't have much hope that life will become voluntary within our lifetime (s).

So the way I see it, an unwanted life is a lot like a bag of dog poop: you carry it with you until you find a suitable place to dispose of it because throwing dead bodies and bags of dog poop into people's homes and public spaces is just plain disgusting.

But somebody's got to find my dead body because I've got furbabies!

So my ideal fantasy would be a medical diagnosis and a sympathetic younger person. My multispecies family would stay together and go on without me. I would be sick and in pain when the sympathetic person boosted me up and helped me climb into the air vents of the Walmart I spent so many years unsuccessfully trying to keep out of Eureka, Humboldt County.

I want the Gold Standard, not a gun I don't know how to use and definitely not the silly handful of Darvons I used to carry around with me when I was a kid. If I was your pooch, you'd stroke my ears while the veterinarian administered the first shot, which would literally put me to sleep so I would feel no pain. You would have as much time to say goodbye to me as the veterinarian could possibly give you.

But I'm nothing but an ugly disgusting old bag lady, lol; just give me the fucking fatal dose of fentanyl so I can use the only thing I've ever really owned, my own body, as a stinkbomb and a final fuck you to one of many corporations that deserve it.

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