Why is it that some people can't fit with everyday society like other people?

[laughingman]

I'm always surprised when I read or hear about people that feel and think in the same ways I do. Our culture in the US tends to be deliberately isolating to people who think and feel differently then the normal. I have always felt that the inability to fit into that culture is fairly normal for people. Our way of life is built on stolen land and slavery. Then and now a large part of life here is turning a blind eye to the deaths and suffering of others in exchange for your own comfort. Looking away from the harm your life does to the world in exchange for a feeling of security. Most people who "fit in" to that are just desperately clinging to there ignorance, holding there eyes tight shut to the world around them. Drowning themselves in anything they can get there hands on to numb them to the horror. People who don't fit into that comfortably are to be commended. Congratulated. Held up as an example. I realize all this sounds rather depressing, hearing the stories of others who think like this can be frustrating. I try to remain hopeful however. While our culture struggles with all of these things. That is in the end only a system of organization. The people who make up out culture are, at the end of the day, still people. We evolved to be empathetic, Its hard wired up there in our brains along with all the rest of it. Community and humanity is our natural state. We all seek it together as a drop of rain seeks the sea.

 

[zenchop]

Yoooo seeing an arcgis story map here warms my damn heart! Former fellow GIS student and map nerd here ♡

I have a lot to say that maybe I can't properly put into words right now...but...

I have been chasing community for as long as I can remember, before I even knew that's what I was looking for. Memorable communities were the long distance running team in high school, the meditation club at college, food not bombs in South Florida, food not bombs/squatting scene in Australia, and the commune where I currently spend winters in the US.

Something they all had in common was kind people who truly care about each other, and shared goals. There were definitely toxic people and conflict at times but the good outweighed the bad tenfold.

These were all fleeting, besides the more stable living situation I have now. The most heartbreaking thing about non-normie / traveler communities is that they're usually fleeting. The communities I once knew in Australia and Florida are no longer. People move on and search for community in other places. Sometimes they find it. Sometimes, like where I am now in a seasonal Conservation Corps position where we work and live communally, supposedly with like-minded and enviornmentally concious young people like me, I have tried and failed to find community. The shared goals and looking out for each other just isn't there. There's constant drama and no respect for the people or the place we live. It fucking sucks.

I don't know what my point is, but I guess its that sometimes community works and sometimes it doesn't. And they all have to be built on trust, which is a limited resource in America.

But community and trust does exist and it's worth searching for. And I wish all of you find your people and what makes you happy <3

I dont know what it was exactly but something about your post fucking got to me. Could be the beam and ginger ales I just downed because bartenders mistake but I think the concept of super awesome people and moments in time being so fleeting, always temporary changes nothing in it's wake, fuck dude I'm having to try not to tear up in public right now and I don't even know why it's hitting me so much but that's exactly what is unchangeably beautiful and shitty at the same time about our connections. But should I see it as shitty or should I see the temporary as transcendent beauty because it only exists in a small window of eternity and then it's gone, like the snuffed flame of a candle you burned after sleeping with your lover and smoking a joint by the open window on a crisp November evening in the city

 

[zenchop]

Is it fitting back into society or is it fitting back into the capitalist rhetoric?

is it necessary to conform to fit back into society though these days? i seem to see a lot more comrades when i am in public compared to when i was growing up. whether it be an employee at the grocery store with blue dreads or the park ranger with a bad religion tattoo, it seems that independent anti authority free spirited indivuduals are just kind of there now, but the behaviors of the good capitalist, now that's something the neighbors will talk about and trying to dance around that could certainly cause some misunderstandings but i think if you're just genuine it's easier now to just be weird but cool than it ever has been. am i wrong and only seeing things from my point of view in the wierdness that is florida?

 

[zenchop]

I'm always surprised when I read or hear about people that feel and think in the same ways I do. Our culture in the US tends to be deliberately isolating to people who think and feel differently then the normal. I have always felt that the inability to fit into that culture is fairly normal for people. Our way of life is built on stolen land and slavery. Then and now a large part of life here is turning a blind eye to the deaths and suffering of others in exchange for your own comfort. Looking away from the harm your life does to the world in exchange for a feeling of security. Most people who "fit in" to that are just desperately clinging to there ignorance, holding there eyes tight shut to the world around them. Drowning themselves in anything they can get there hands on to numb them to the horror. People who don't fit into that comfortably are to be commended. Congratulated. Held up as an example. I realize all this sounds rather depressing, hearing the stories of others who think like this can be frustrating. I try to remain hopeful however. While our culture struggles with all of these things. That is in the end only a system of organization. The people who make up out culture are, at the end of the day, still people. We evolved to be empathetic, Its hard wired up there in our brains along with all the rest of it. Community and humanity is our natural state. We all seek it together as a drop of rain seeks the sea.

at the end of the day we're all just people. perfectly stated i feel. we all feel alone, we all feel isolated. even those who on the surface maintain an image of being above all that. every one of us has laid there at night, alone, wondering if we'll ever feel like we make sense to somebody else

 

[jaws]

Yoooo seeing an arcgis story map here warms my damn heart! Former fellow GIS student and map nerd here ♡

I have a lot to say that maybe I can't properly put into words right now...but...

I have been chasing community for as long as I can remember, before I even knew that's what I was looking for. Memorable communities were the long distance running team in high school, the meditation club at college, food not bombs in South Florida, food not bombs/squatting scene in Australia, and the commune where I currently spend winters in the US.

Something they all had in common was kind people who truly care about each other, and shared goals. There were definitely toxic people and conflict at times but the good outweighed the bad tenfold.

These were all fleeting, besides the more stable living situation I have now. The most heartbreaking thing about non-normie / traveler communities is that they're usually fleeting. The communities I once knew in Australia and Florida are no longer. People move on and search for community in other places. Sometimes they find it. Sometimes, like where I am now in a seasonal Conservation Corps position where we work and live communally, supposedly with like-minded and enviornmentally concious young people like me, I have tried and failed to find community. The shared goals and looking out for each other just isn't there. There's constant drama and no respect for the people or the place we live. It fucking sucks.

I don't know what my point is, but I guess its that sometimes community works and sometimes it doesn't. And they all have to be built on trust, which is a limited resource in America.

But community and trust does exist and it's worth searching for. And I wish all of you find your people and what makes you happy <3

Dude that's awesome you're also in the ArcGIS field. Is that where you decided to go is the conservation core? Are you still using GIS?

Those sounds like good groups to join, I was a part of food not bombs once but I'll check them out again. Otherwise I've been on the look out. I finally had a break down, when I wrote this I was at the beginning of what would be more than a month of not giving a fuck. I literally told my teacher "I just don't care" and I'm usually an A student. I met a nice girl down my street who kindly took the time to treat me like a person and ask me how I'm doing in a sincere way and then listen to me, it helps alot and I can't believe it took several months of break down mode to run into someone who would do that. It just goes to show how we're much more isolated than we're believed to be in the city.

 

[Daze]

that girl from tucson that literally road the “triple stack” to new zealand and lived with the maori and lived and worked on boats??

View attachment 68889

not going to link her fb but heres her ig

Rose Kaiotii (@rosekaiotii) • Instagram photos and videos

1,095 Followers, 749 Following, 1,542 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Rose Kaiotii (@rosekaiotii)

instagram.com

Rose literally lives in my town fixing up boats in NZ and has slept in my bed once hehe I bet she just wanted that warm shower of mine lmao. She's real cool. Crazy to see uou guys mention her haha met her at a bar.

 

[jaws]

Is it fitting back into society or is it fitting back into the capitalist rhetoric?

Are they not both the same in America

I'm always surprised when I read or hear about people that feel and think in the same ways I do. Our culture in the US tends to be deliberately isolating to people who think and feel differently then the normal. I have always felt that the inability to fit into that culture is fairly normal for people. Our way of life is built on stolen land and slavery. Then and now a large part of life here is turning a blind eye to the deaths and suffering of others in exchange for your own comfort. Looking away from the harm your life does to the world in exchange for a feeling of security. Most people who "fit in" to that are just desperately clinging to there ignorance, holding there eyes tight shut to the world around them. Drowning themselves in anything they can get there hands on to numb them to the horror. People who don't fit into that comfortably are to be commended. Congratulated. Held up as an example. I realize all this sounds rather depressing, hearing the stories of others who think like this can be frustrating. I try to remain hopeful however. While our culture struggles with all of these things. That is in the end only a system of organization. The people who make up out culture are, at the end of the day, still people. We evolved to be empathetic, Its hard wired up there in our brains along with all the rest of it. Community and humanity is our natural state. We all seek it together as a drop of rain seeks the sea.

True, I feel like everyone needs to keep a reminder of our history and roots. It's the same way with cheeseburgers, everyone wants to eat them but they don't want to know where they came from. I see what you're saying.

We live in a system that tells us we're not good enough unless we buy more stuff. It's not even lack of wealth that stresses us out, it's the people that keep telling us that we're nothing without it, that stresses us out. I feel like even good people can get caught up in buying mansions and making money, trying to reach the top of society because they were told they weren't good enough by people who bought into the idea before them. I wonder if somewhere along the line they begin ignoring or history and our roots.

I wrote this post when I was on the verge of going in breakdown mode. I met someone who listened to my feelings and while it didn't solve anything, it did make me feel better and give me some room for continuing... whatever this is we're doing ...

A drop of rain seeks the sea...I like that

 

[sevedemanos]

Rose literally lives in my town fixing up boats in NZ and has slept in my bed once hehe I bet she just wanted that warm shower of mine lmao. She's real cool. Crazy to see uou guys mention her haha met her at a bar.

she doesnt live in new zealand

 

[jaws]

Rose literally lives in my town fixing up boats in NZ and has slept in my bed once hehe I bet she just wanted that warm shower of mine lmao. She's real cool. Crazy to see uou guys mention her haha met her at a bar.

she doesnt live in new zealand

Wherever she lives, I looked at her pics and it definitely gave me ideas about getting back on the road again. Thanks

 

[sevedemanos]

may still be in nz, but sounds like probably not.

i dont know her personally but have to agree. seems like a badass mf gorgeous human being. inspires me a lot too.

 

[The Toecutter]

A big issue regarding fitting into this society is the simple fact that every facet of it is dysfunctional and unsustainable.

The entire legal system exists in order to maintain the current paradigm of endlessly growing resource extraction and consumption, while funneling the wealth generated by such upward to a financial elite, which they then use to buy influence and control over others. Those who do not do what the financial elites have proposed for them to do, such as generating capital through labor through which surplus value can be extracted, tend to have the necessities of life withheld from them, such as food, water, shelter. One is generally not allowed to provide those things to themselves by taking from nature, without being subject to risk of arrest, or being murdered if one refuses to be arrested. We live on a planet of finite resources, which is being destroyed by a paradigm that attempts to maintain infinite growth just to support this pyramid scheme. Violence, both implied and actuated, is used by the law enforcement, military, intelligence, and prison apparatuses to maintain the functioning of this pyramid scheme. In effect, the current reigning paradigm has turned planet Earth into a giant company store from which there is no real escape. Those living nomadic lifestyles are doing everything they can to escape it, just to get any bit of freedom, no matter how temporary and fleeting.

A right-wing anarchist I'm acquainted with, often refers to the global corporate state we find ourselves living under as "The Death Star". Every time we participate in the "acceptable" way of life, we only further the interests of those who claim ownership of this "Death Star". This "Death Star" also has a thriving black market because its rules and restrictions and the things it expects from those living on it are so onerous that participation in this black market becomes a survival necessity for many. Everyone is guilty of participating in this paradigm just by living here, try as one may to do the right thing.

Unfortunately, there is no magic bullet solution to this problem. Too much of humanity is afraid of doing something drastic, because they will be made an example of by those who use violence to enforce the existing paradigm. Civilization is going to collapse from its own inertia and complexity, and in all probability it is going to take most of humanity with it, if humans don't become extinct outright.

I've been craving an escape from this paradigm for years. But I'm embedded in it, because you're generally not allowed to do anything without money. I have what is considered a good, well-paying job, but once I've amassed the resources to do so, I plan to go off-grid as much as possible and no longer contribute to my own destruction and the destruction of others. I want out of the cage. But like everyone else seeking the same escape, I know deep down it will be fleeting.

What can you do?

An old proverb: When the last tree has been cut down, the last fish caught, the last river poisoned, only then will we realize that one cannot eat money.

 

[Daze]

may still be in nz, but sounds like probably not.

i dont know her personally but have to agree. seems like a badass mf gorgeous human being. inspires me a lot too.

She doesn't live in NZ? And yet I meet her over 2 years ago in my town and saw her a couple months ago still in my town. I'm pretty sure that's classed as living here lol fixing up boats like they said, see her at the bar several times.

she doesnt live in new zealand

 

[sevedemanos]

She doesn't live in NZ? And yet I meet her over 2 years ago in my town and saw her a couple months ago still in my town. I'm pretty sure that's classed as living here lol fixing up boats like they said, see her at the bar several times.

not trying to sound like i know. i dont. just seeing a lot of big sky country / hunting posts on ig. just a fan — so its defo none of my business either way

 

[Coywolf]

I was going to post something similar in a separate thread, so im glad I found this one.

Over the past 8 years I have tried my hardest to balance my societal/professional life with what I really enjoy (this life, Traveling life). I finally had a stable career with the ability to travel in the off season, I had built out a van (a place to stay should I end up full on houseless again), I gained work benefits like retirement and medical. I thought I had made it.

Recently inflation and other expenses have damn near bankrupted me. I defaulted on loans I would have otherwise been able to repay, destroyed the credit I have built over the past 4 years. And am unable to do anything but work, and pray for the offtime so I can travel again.

Then it happened. My fucking van had a catastrophic engine failure. Loosing that van means losing this job. It also means im straight up houseless AF again.

Everything I worked for....gone. In like a 2 month time frame.

Anyway, I feel this post. I've tried, goddammit. I've tried doing this bullshit I didn't agree with, or want to do (had to do 🙄)...I kinda feel like just throwing myself back into the ether and seeing what happens.

I haven't been this fucked since I was around 22 (im 35 now)...and I don't know how I will fair. I know ill be fine....eventually, as I still have gear and can get seasonal jobs. But I don't think I'll ever recover as a 'member or society'. Shit it stacked way too high against people who don't already have something to work off of. I don't think I'll get a chance...or even want to....rebuild everything I had worked for.

Anyway, im a whiney fuck and needed to get that out. I feel that yes, there are people who just can't, or won't, fit in with everyday society. It sucks. I hate it. And I've been unhappy with it for a long time.

I hope you're able to find answers/happiness. I think mine is waiting for me in the PNW...

 

[The Toecutter]

I was going to post something similar in a separate thread, so im glad I found this one.

Sorry about the van. I feel blessed to have a parent's basement to build wealth out of by not having to pay what is typical rent on a box. But I'm also middle-aged. I see many of my peers living in nice homes and driving nice cars, but the fact is they own none of it. The banks do. One or two missed paychecks from a job loss, medical emergency, accident, or other unexpected event, and everything put into them is gone, and they have children to worry about on top of that. They live paycheck to paycheck to "afford" it, and will be in debt passed retirement age to do so. That sort of existence is way more stressful than I could withstand. I'd rather have 5-figures in savings and live on the street out of a bicycle, or in a shack out in the boonies.

Things didn't used to be this way to anywhere near the same extent they currently are. Working class people 60 years ago had an easier time building up wealth than so-called "middle class" people do today. As productivity per laborer has increased while debt has become a requirement to purchase goods that used to be affordable in cash, the difference has been extracted by the wealthiest socio-economic bracket. This system is beginning to implode upon itself, and the rapid inflation we are seeing is one of the symptoms of that. Too much debt is chasing too few physical resources as the money printer continues uninterrupted. Unfortunately, people who are fiscally responsible are punished harshly in this current paradigm. Those who own this system WANT everyone in debt, because they are collecting interest from them at every turn, and the existing policy has been crafted in such a way as to encourage that outcome.

 

[Seajatt]

"...Some of us are broken enough to not know how to relate to someone"
I feel like I can relate to this. I don't think I've ever really fit in. In this society tho, maybe its good to be an outcast.