You know honestly I can't wrap my head around it either. Even though he can get very loud, I try to stay very calm it's my nature to be calm. He continued on last night for 4-5 hours, then 2 hours of apologizing, so no sleep for me till about 4am :/ Our relationship is he's my boyfriend on and off and travel partner we've been together for about 4 years on and off and he's always had small incidences of this type of behavior, but not as bad as this. We had taken last year off while I was in cali and he was in Nashville. I drove cross country to get him and bring him out west about 2 months ago. We met traveling on a bus back in AZ to Fl 4 years ago, attempted to house up, but I couldn't do it And he understood.(itchy feet) And he can be a great guy. He's about 8 years younger than me, which I usually pay no mind to. Unless he doesn't get my references lol which then make me feel old Hahaha. But it seems like whenever I get a spot for us for a few days or find a camp spot, basically somewhere to sleep, shower and relax it's like he forgets that we still need to go out, put gas in the car and take care of basics essentials. I'm definitely not a person who would abandon someone, especially a signification other, loyalty is my 1# but like I said to him last night, I trust you with my life and yours with me, but when you act erratic and aggressive towards me and others so severely like that, it makes me question my choices and safety. I try to be consistent in my actions, but when he's doing things that are incredibly dangerous I.e trying to wreck the car, speeding into trolley stops, jumping out of the car without putting it in Park to try to beat up another driver in another car (Thank goodness I got the car in Park, before it rolled into another car). . Things got a bit crazy last night and all I was making sure was he didn't get arrested, that's the last thing I want is for him to be in some crappy jail. While traveling I still take care of my medical stuff, disability stuff etc.. So that I can enable us to live the life we want to live. But when I am out everyday flying, networking and generally enjoying life and he's complaining or not helping fly or causing unnecessary attention to us from local cops, it's not cool. I finally got him to take us to our spot to crash last night (which I found and have kept friendly with the locals so no one tells that we're living here, the view is beautiful btw
and I told him if he wanted to make any $ or accomplish anything he wanted to do( he said he wanted to play guitar/ busk, so i raged up the $ and bought him one)he might have to start waking up before noon, he wigged out again. Like man come on lol it's not that serious let's work together, chill out and enjoy this mmj I got us, but nope it's negative this and negative that. I am not a fan of negativity, it always makes me feel yucky inside and out and just generally brings my vibe down. Idk I think I'm just going to see how the next couple of days plays out and try talking to him again. Although I'm afraid the outcome will be the same, but I'm hopeful. Always the optimist
I love this community! Thank you for your thoughts they really helped me put some things in perspective ♡