Thank God all Fucking Mighty..
someone who's actually serious.
Ok..
On the west coast, I start work tomorrow.
If they don't fire me after the first 72 hours, it may be a gig.
If yer in FL, by all means learn what you can, there.
If you find a boat & sail, you'll be one up.on me, for sure.
In any case, premature to plan, but I hear you, loud & clear.
I'm 2 months out from being able to make plans.
I'm on the west coast, Santa Cruz / south bay, stuff is very... fluid...
Large van.
Need to find a driveway.
Current gig is 2 weeks on the valley plains, them more, elsewhere, doing who knows what, wherever the hell must be...
pay is ok.
If it holds out, a boat is plausible by the end of this year.
Go learn.
I'll fucking work.
If my 60 year old body doesn't fucking disintegrate, we may be able to gather together those whom will die at sea, with us..
Don't fucking drown until you get to the blue water..
May you find a ship with freedom, soon (& fuck the slaves of piracy.. the ocean is no place for imagination, unless you want to die by by fucking broken leg or concussion..),
and if you do
& you can serve her well,
then I hope we meet,
because you sound like a real sister who can be trusted with whatever lives you trust yours to, also..
Ask the goddamned fishermen...
The real ones..
& if you don't find a boat, (but find one!!), and if I am still working, and if you are still dreaming, and if I can stuff you into a place where..
I dunno..
where one or two or some few others who I know I can trust may sleep, in trust,
then maybe you will be whom is first where that trust must begin.
I have no time for wishing.
I am old, my body is fucked by the work of sharing & the keeping of promises.
I will fuck it 'til it dies.
& I will bless the sun & the stars & whatever moon or fog or rain or storm or calm might see me cease to exist, so long as I die Upon Her..
With those I loved & trusted..
& here is a secret;
trust dies as quickly as the the inverse of aplology's refusal...
& apology itself is the measure of strength
because it is also a certain measure of trust, because apology is stronger than time
when we know we will be forgiven from it,
just as if it were new again, and we fight to keep that newness...
& that is what it fucking takes to live together on a goddamned fucking goddamned fucking boat...
So piss on those who speak shit, but can't actually do it.
Piss on fuckers who need to be more right, than hey need to be more loving.
Piss on folks who like being critical, more than they like being constructive, because..
The world is going to hit a wall, soon..
maybe very soon,
& the only place to flee to
may be where the world is as far from itself as it may be...
God, God all fucking mighty..
Why were there fucking humans
instead of goddamned fucking dolphins,
mean & imperious shit bastards that they are..