The prisoners who walk free

[Deleted member 22934]

Do you spend so much time alone that it feels like your in solitary confinement? I always wanted to write a book about the effects of bad choices in life and the long lasting social effects... Or at least, how it looks from my perspective... What amazes me, is how you can be free and walking the streets, surrounded by millions of people, and feel so alone... I used to fear being alone... I now fear being surrounded by people who make me feel alone... Because, to be alone would mean, that no one is controlling you or any aspect of your life... Which would give you the freedom to make new friends, earn a living, and socialize freely... But having social problems is quite a complex thing... And Im not talking about your ability to socialize, how you view and talk to people, or how you view and think of yourself... I'm talking about having a bad reputation, how other people view and talk about you, or the problems you have socializing that are created by someone else's words or actions... I've just always been amazed by the ability people have to control other people by means of manipulation and word of the mouth...

Maybe I'm barking up the wrong storm... Or maybe someone out there knows what I'm talking about. Have you ever experienced anything like it??? I guess I'm just a bit depressed because people are a pack animal... They need connections and input from others to be fully satisfied... Like the dude who died in Alaska said "happiness is only real when it's shared"

 

[roughdraft]

it's a huge topic, vast amount of things that go into it.. and it sounds like you're on the right track.

word of mouth can make or break people, including those who are misunderstood or don't deserve to be ridiculed or what-have-you, but too those who really don't deserve respect. imagine politicians right. on a smaller scale I've seen things like this happen, basically someone more-or-less being abusive to a bunch of people who feel/think they deserve it, and basically treat the person better than they deserve which is ultimately a disservice to themselves to say the least

aside from that we are essentially slaves to our own being, whatever way you slice it or however you adjust yr lifestyle we're bound to flesh-suits

 

[r3yn]

I went through phases in life of telling myself that I don't care what other people think, and other times of gauging my entire self-worth on what others thought.

Being an expat lets you start over again, every time you go to a new city, a new country. This current place I'm in, I've come to realize that if there are other people, their perception of you is incredibly important -- no matter where on this pale blue dot you are. Even if you don't give a roasting fuck what they think, their views will impact other people that don't know you, and those new people will be less likely to want to meet you.

I think there's something important found in not changing yourself, though. I think it's vital to one's soul to maintain integrity of character and beliefs, regardless of loneliness or ostrasization. So, in sum, I think it's all about knowing that reputation is incredibly important, but staying true to your (unpopular) beliefs, regardless.

 

[void gaze]

I feel you George. It can be tough to balance between learning to pick better company and working on some of the things about yourself that can lead to these kind of problems. It can go in some super fucking unfair ways though and it can have consequences that last years or are irreversible. Solitary confinement is rightly considered a form of torture partly because it permanently damages people’s mental health and ability to socialize. Obviously I wouldn’t compare social isolation to incarceration but some of the effects can be similar. It’s hard, it’s a kind of injury and darkness that accumulates over time...ptsd and betrayal trauma can discourage reconnecting with humanity, while people may for various reasons avoid someone who’s spent a lot of time alone for any reason ...etc. I hope you find some solace in dealing with it. Don’t let it turn you destructive towards yourself or others. You are more than the situation you’re in.

 

[abdaldahr]

If you really let go the universe will move you through the sea into a new herd of people. I've experienced this but I'm also experiencing the old herd not wanting to let go and not wanting to let me attach myself to enough moments in their bubble to stay around. If I would have started wandering around years ago I'd be living a different life right now.