So, what ya'll think about having kids? (1 Viewer)

warlo

Vagabond
Joined
Mar 2, 2015
Messages
172
Website
www.bonsai.cf
Since I became sexually active I always felt terrified of the idea of getting someone pregnant. always knew I had no interest in such thing and considered a vasectomy. Of course pretty much everyone I mentioned that to was very much against it, specially on my 20's where everybody said I was too young to decide on such things and that I would change my mind on my 30's. Im 33 now and for every year since I was 15 I only kept piling up arguments and reasons not to want to have kids. I allowed people's recommendations to influence my decision so I postponed the procedure until I turned 30, then I gave it 2 years of very intense considerations (as I wasnt nowhere near a cheap place to do it) where I would engage in arguments with people I respect their way of thinking and put it to hard test on myself by critically thinking as much as I could. I decided that It was pointless to carry on thinking about it as all thru this years I never had a single positive feeling towards the idea of having kids. The only conflicting thing i thought of had to do with other people. I knew it might have an impact on my parents (luckily I have brothers who can do that for me) but mainly that it will impact my chances of finding someone to share my life with, as loads of people talk about not having family but when confronted with the definitive aspects of a vasectomy performed on their partner or potential partner their convictions loose strength (in my experience). I did finally carried on with the procedure and I feel it was the right thing to do, It makes me feel that im in absolute control of my destiny and that the fact that some women might not want to engage in a relationship with me because of it is a part of having control over my life, even if it means less romantic life.
 
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Faceplant

Mmmm . . . Taste the Ballast!
Joined
Nov 29, 2018
Messages
431
Location
Boulder Creek Ca
Well, late in seeing this, but my 2 cents worth. I was and am a good father. My father was a good provider but in most other ways a terrible dad. I figure most people want to have kids - maybe not most StP members, but in the general populace.

If you have kids, put every ounce of your focus on them, and be willing to let nearly all else in your life fade away In importance. For most fathers that happens naturally, for others they gotta work at it. I told one of my sons that if he was gonna continue being an alcoholic like my dad, or keep using drugs, to please do not have children, don’t even get married please. That really effected him, and I’m glad it did.

Hey Mike, if you have kids, and make it your goal to raise them better than your Dad raised you, as was my goal, the world cannot help but be a better place. And if we teach our kids do an even better job of it than we did, then we’re on an upward spiral.
 

Barf

Burrito fund contributor
StP Supporter
Joined
Oct 6, 2018
Messages
133
Location
NW Montana
Well, late in seeing this, but my 2 cents worth. I was and am a good father. My father was a good provider but in most other ways a terrible dad. I figure most people want to have kids - maybe not most StP members, but in the general populace.

If you have kids, put every ounce of your focus on them, and be willing to let nearly all else in your life fade away In importance. For most fathers that happens naturally, for others they gotta work at it. I told one of my sons that if he was gonna continue being an alcoholic like my dad, or keep using drugs, to please do not have children, don’t even get married please. That really effected him, and I’m glad it did.

Hey Mike, if you have kids, and make it your goal to raise them better than your Dad raised you, as was my goal, the world cannot help but be a better place. And if we teach our kids do an even better job of it than we did, then we’re on an upward spiral.
Wow faceplant, that really struck home to me.

I fucked up very bad last night and have to dry out.

Get my shit in order.

It's a slippery fucking slope and I slid fucking fast.

I feel like the most selfish asshole in the world right now.
 

roguetrader

Vagabond
Joined
Oct 24, 2015
Messages
464
Location
Exeter, United Kingdom
having a kid really gave me a purpose in life - like many people on this site I'm not interested in conventional forms of achievement - you know what I mean good job / big house / shiny gadgets etc etc... rearing a child gave me something worthwhile to do with my time - and when I see what a fine human being she has become I have absolutely no regrets that parenthood put the brakes on my freewheelin' lifestyle....

so yeah Mike I doubt you would ever regret becoming a father- and if Mrs B's in agreement about having kids then you better get on with it, it takes some couples a long while to concieve
 

Odin

ANTISOLIPSIST
Joined
Apr 6, 2013
Messages
2,377
Location
Earth
Website
www.youtube.com
Since my parents are the definition of narcissistic fucking evil shits...

Yea I never worried about having kids.

That is not to say I could not wistfully imagine... if I finally found myself in a true true loving relationship that would last until death do us part, that I would not wish for children... my own and if more adopted as well.

Sadly the state of the world.
The economics and my lack of being able to accumulate resources has probably hindered that path... I don't regret though... life is interesting enough just studying existence and trying to make sense of it.

If I die with a few dollars in my pocket an old man bachelor... perhaps it can be donated to some orphan for booze smokes and coke.

:cool:
 

dprogram

Wanderer
Joined
May 31, 2011
Messages
592
Location
Riverdale Park, United States
"Get a dog first" is excellent advice for anyone thinking about having kids. If you can keep a dog healthy, and happy, and well-fed for a couple years, and it hasn't bitten anyone without good cause, maybe you might be responsible enough to take care of a baby human.

The biting part because if your dog goes around biting folks, your kid will probably grow up to be a jerk. As the late great Redd Foxx so wisely said "Follow a ugly kid home sometime, see if he don't got ugly parents." Applies to conduct too- see also "Apple, distance fallen from tree".
Try a huge gardedn first!
 

Bozorg

Pilgrim
Joined
May 21, 2020
Messages
13
Location
PA
Try a huge gardedn first!
Hey everybody- my two cents about kids-
Definitely get and train a dog as well as growing a decent garden. If you can daily attend to both with love you are probably ready. Also it's really hard to raise a kid on the road/off grid and keep up healthcare and dental etc. I raised my son off grid and seasonally transient until he was 4, then I got sober so I could be a more present parent and do better than my old man. My kid is 11 now and I'm happy to be in stable spot where I've got work and can barely afford to pay the pediatric dentist. That shit is expensive. Nothing makes you feel like shit worse than having a kid and not being able to afford care for it. When my son was young I was cutting up roadkill deer I was so broke. Every winter I didnt know if we would make it through the winter with a roof over our heads. I highly recommend some form of stability and social network. Now my adventures are limited to weekends due to work but I'm doing them with my son. Worth the trade.
 

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