LOL, yeah but seriously, I have in fact rode atop loaded coal trains and it's not that bad at all. Once you get up there, you just have to push away at the coal to make an area to sit in. I actually find it to be comfortable. I have worked as an underground coal miner as well as an auger miner on the surface. Coal is not externally "dirty" as people may think. For example, you CANNOT take a piece of coal and write something on a clean, white sheet of paper. You can with charcoal ... but not coal that is mined. Furthermore, after it is mined, it goes through a prep plant to be washed and separated from other rocks before it is even loaded for distribution. When coal companies and buyers speak of the "cleanliness" of coal, they are referring to ash content. Ash content is what is actually inside the coal, thus, the amount of emissions that are expelled once coal is burned. Anyway, do be careful trying to ride these types of rails. I have only ridden atop of a coal train, which are plentiful around my neck of the woods. And it was just a couple times for a couple short trips. So, I do not consider myself an experienced train hopper. I really want to do the box cars BAD! If you're riding atop a car loaded with coal and you haven't dug yourself a sufficiently deep enough seat, then BEWARE some of the low clearance tunnels running through Appalachia.!!!! CHEERS!