noob introduction/situation (1 Viewer)

Joined
May 28, 2019
Messages
5
Current Location
Illinois
Hello to all reading this. As you can tell by my username and stock photo avatar I'm pretty bummed. 27 year old white male, high school graduate, no college or trade under my belt. Been working whatever job I could find that didn't seem like it would suck that much ever since I was a kid. Only for it to definitely suck within a year, many times less than half a year. That's about as long I've lasted at any job before I've quit to work something else or just got fired because they could clearly see I didn't care anymore.

I'm not a complete useless piece of shit. I possess intelligence, I'm good looking, humorous and polite, I care about my beloved friends and family, and I have good people skills in general. No drug or alcohol dependency, used to smoke a lot of herb and had my fair share of psychedelics for exploration purposes but that was the extent of it. I've bounced back and forth between living with my mom or dad throughout my life, never had my own place. I attribute it to me not really being able to figure out why I can't just get my shit together and "do something" with my life. I feel like hard work never pays off, and all the hours I work goes nowhere. I've never made more than $15 an hour.

I'll admit I feel pretty vulnerable and weak putting this shit out there, but whatever. I currently have hardly any money and quit my last job not that long ago. I fantasize about just buying a quality travel backpack and hitting the road. Which I recognize could be seen as a naive thing and just "giving up", but I also think about how valid it is that working in this "babylon" just perpetually keeps me miserable. People throw a lot of recommendations out there, mainly family. "Get into a trade, you don't need college". I can't even get myself to muscle up the ambition to pursue something like that. None of it interests me. Lots of things interest me but I don't know how I can suddenly turn something I enjoy into a way of making money.

Anyways, I apologize as this has probably been painful for anyone reading this pathetic shit. I guess my reason for being here is having the glimpse of hope that someone else has dealt with the same shit. Just said fuck it, packed a bag, put everything up to random chance and somehow found themselves being "ok". I don't wanna sound judgmental towards those that do it, but I don't wanna be out there the rest of my life "flying a sign", and living off the fruits of everyone else's hard work just because I don't really feel like I "fit into the system". I wanna be able to be self sufficient at some point, but until I figure it out, if I chose homelessness, I'd kinda just be consciously choosing to do that for awhile. And I have mixed feelings about that, as there's guilt within that choice. People have had it so much worse, that's an extreme understatement. But I feel incredibly stuck and stagnant. I don't know what else to do. I think about suicide sometimes but I don't think I could go through with that shit.

If anyone just wants to call me out for being weak I can take it. If I should just fuck off the forum I will, but just figured I'd try this out and be real. Thanks for your time.
 
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Faceplant

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Have you considered the Marines? They’re looking for a few good men . . .

Seriously, you really need to figure out a way of sticking to something long term. And that’s on you, no one can do it for you. Part of being a man, in my never so humble opinion, is seeing things through, enduring unpleasant things, till you find a better situation. I never quit a job before having a better one lined up. That’s a life lesson. I’m an old fucking opinionated person, though, so YMMV.

If you are having thoughts of suicide, you need to call the Suicide Prevention Hotline tel:1-800-273-8255
 
Last edited:

Older Than Dirt

Wanderer
Joined
Mar 5, 2019
Messages
291
Age
60
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Upstate
What a helpful suggestion! If you join the Marines, you will learn a trade that is always in demand: killing people.

More seriously, probably every single person here (except ibuzzard) has been where you are at. The reason we are here is we decided to to take it on the road at some point. If that's what you decide to do, you can learn how to do it here.
 

Minky

Newbie
Joined
Dec 10, 2017
Messages
115
Current Location
St. Paul, Mn
What are you passionate about? You said you have good people skills, could that be a direction to take? If you do hit the road, it would be good to have a plan to support yourself. Thank you for putting yourself out there in your post! I feel you just need to find your way. Good luck and keep us posted.
 

Fuzzypeach

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Joined
May 27, 2019
Messages
77
Current Location
Tacoma, WA
Hello to all reading this. As you can tell by my username and stock photo avatar I'm pretty bummed. 27 year old white male, high school graduate, no college or trade under my belt. Been working whatever job I could find that didn't seem like it would suck that much ever since I was a kid. Only for it to definitely suck within a year, many times less than half a year. That's about as long I've lasted at any job before I've quit to work something else or just got fired because they could clearly see I didn't care anymore.

I'm not a complete useless piece of shit. I possess intelligence, I'm good looking, humorous and polite, I care about my beloved friends and family, and I have good people skills in general. No drug or alcohol dependency, used to smoke a lot of herb and had my fair share of psychedelics for exploration purposes but that was the extent of it. I've bounced back and forth between living with my mom or dad throughout my life, never had my own place. I attribute it to me not really being able to figure out why I can't just get my shit together and "do something" with my life. I feel like hard work never pays off, and all the hours I work goes nowhere. I've never made more than $15 an hour.

I'll admit I feel pretty vulnerable and weak putting this shit out there, but whatever. I currently have hardly any money and quit my last job not that long ago. I fantasize about just buying a quality travel backpack and hitting the road. Which I recognize could be seen as a naive thing and just "giving up", but I also think about how valid it is that working in this "babylon" just perpetually keeps me miserable. People throw a lot of recommendations out there, mainly family. "Get into a trade, you don't need college". I can't even get myself to muscle up the ambition to pursue something like that. None of it interests me. Lots of things interest me but I don't know how I can suddenly turn something I enjoy into a way of making money.

Anyways, I apologize as this has probably been painful for anyone reading this pathetic shit. I guess my reason for being here is having the glimpse of hope that someone else has dealt with the same shit. Just said fuck it, packed a bag, put everything up to random chance and somehow found themselves being "ok". I don't wanna sound judgmental towards those that do it, but I don't wanna be out there the rest of my life "flying a sign", and living off the fruits of everyone else's hard work just because I don't really feel like I "fit into the system". I wanna be able to be self sufficient at some point, but until I figure it out, if I chose homelessness, I'd kinda just be consciously choosing to do that for awhile. And I have mixed feelings about that, as there's guilt within that choice. People have had it so much worse, that's an extreme understatement. But I feel incredibly stuck and stagnant. I don't know what else to do. I think about suicide sometimes but I don't think I could go through with that shit.

If anyone just wants to call me out for being weak I can take it. If I should just fuck off the forum I will, but just figured I'd try this out and be real. Thanks for your time.
So sorry to hear 💔. Being "successful" in this Godforsaken society has become neigh on impossible. To be truthful, I am too chicken to do what you are considering, and have a healthy respect for people brave enough to do it. There is a section on here for "Road dogs"=guides to show you the ropes but be very cautious. As with any sector of society, there are good and evil people. Also, there could be some undiagnosed condition causing some of your difficulties. I had MS for 35 years and didn't know it. Now I am on disability, but holding down a job is extremely difficult when you are impaired. Something worth checking into. Hugs.
 

IDoRails69

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Joined
May 10, 2019
Messages
23
Age
31
Current Location
Arthur,IL
Bro I'm in the same boat. I couldn't have said it any better. Except I think I have a little more hope. I experienced all the same shit you're talking about and I know the feeling like you're just giving up, but think of it as a vacation or a chance. A chance to catch that fire that you've been yearning for. I've hit the road once before and it was amazing. And now I'm back to square one and it seems like the move, so I'm going back out. Some of us just don't fit into the social norms and need a different lifestyle at least for a bit. I'm all about supporting myself and making it work. But right now this is what I need. read my post. "It's about that time." Best wishes my fellow.
 
Joined
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510
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I served in the Marines and it was the best choice I ever made! Not sure what the age limit is today on joining the Marines, you would have to talk to a recruiter. If the Marines are not for you, there are other branches and think of the free paid traveling in the US Armed Services!

Suicide is not the solution, problems are temporary.

I've been where you are.

Just buy a backpack and supplies and hit the road! Best of Luck!
 

Brodiesel710

Burrito fund contributor
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Messages
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Bro I'm in the same boat. I couldn't have said it any better. Except I think I have a little more hope. I experienced all the same shit you're talking about and I know the feeling like you're just giving up, but think of it as a vacation or a chance. A chance to catch that fire that you've been yearning for. I've hit the road once before and it was amazing. And now I'm back to square one and it seems like the move, so I'm going back out. Some of us just don't fit into the social norms and need a different lifestyle at least for a bit. I'm all about supporting myself and making it work. But right now this is what I need. read my post. "It's about that time." Best wishes my fellow.
Na man it sounds like he's stuck on the sinking ship, while your on the emergency life raft, gettin' the fuck out!
 

Brodiesel710

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Messages
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I served in the Marines and it was the best choice I ever made! Not sure what the age limit is today on joining the Marines, you would have to talk to a recruiter. If the Marines are not for you, there are other branches and think of the free paid traveling in the US Armed Services!

Suicide is not the solution, problems are temporary.

I've been where you are.

Just buy a backpack and supplies and hit the road! Best of Luck!
I don't know him well enough to suggest joining the armed forces, but it definitely did ALOT of good for my cousin, uncle, and a good friend of mine. Air Force and Army/Navy contractor. But yeah...my uncle had to kill a lot of people with PTDS aerial drones, but they were Taliban, so fuck em.
 

Engineer J Lupo

Increasingly aggressive bro
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What a helpful suggestion! If you join the Marines, you will learn a trade that is always in demand: killing people.

More seriously, probably every single person here (except ibuzzard) has been where you are at. The reason we are here is we decided to to take it on the road at some point. If that's what you decide to do, you can learn how to do it here.
He was kidding. Handling a tense situation with humor, sometimes it can help. You should be able to discern he's kidding by the next word following that suggestion being the word "seriously" where he then goes on to offer some serious advice/help.
 
D

Deleted member 20975

I deleted myself
Hello to all reading this. As you can tell by my username and stock photo avatar I'm pretty bummed. 27 year old white male, high school graduate, no college or trade under my belt. Been working whatever job I could find that didn't seem like it would suck that much ever since I was a kid. Only for it to definitely suck within a year, many times less than half a year. That's about as long I've lasted at any job before I've quit to work something else or just got fired because they could clearly see I didn't care anymore.

I'm not a complete useless piece of shit. I possess intelligence, I'm good looking, humorous and polite, I care about my beloved friends and family, and I have good people skills in general. No drug or alcohol dependency, used to smoke a lot of herb and had my fair share of psychedelics for exploration purposes but that was the extent of it. I've bounced back and forth between living with my mom or dad throughout my life, never had my own place. I attribute it to me not really being able to figure out why I can't just get my shit together and "do something" with my life. I feel like hard work never pays off, and all the hours I work goes nowhere. I've never made more than $15 an hour.

I'll admit I feel pretty vulnerable and weak putting this shit out there, but whatever. I currently have hardly any money and quit my last job not that long ago. I fantasize about just buying a quality travel backpack and hitting the road. Which I recognize could be seen as a naive thing and just "giving up", but I also think about how valid it is that working in this "babylon" just perpetually keeps me miserable. People throw a lot of recommendations out there, mainly family. "Get into a trade, you don't need college". I can't even get myself to muscle up the ambition to pursue something like that. None of it interests me. Lots of things interest me but I don't know how I can suddenly turn something I enjoy into a way of making money.

Anyways, I apologize as this has probably been painful for anyone reading this pathetic shit. I guess my reason for being here is having the glimpse of hope that someone else has dealt with the same shit. Just said fuck it, packed a bag, put everything up to random chance and somehow found themselves being "ok". I don't wanna sound judgmental towards those that do it, but I don't wanna be out there the rest of my life "flying a sign", and living off the fruits of everyone else's hard work just because I don't really feel like I "fit into the system". I wanna be able to be self sufficient at some point, but until I figure it out, if I chose homelessness, I'd kinda just be consciously choosing to do that for awhile. And I have mixed feelings about that, as there's guilt within that choice. People have had it so much worse, that's an extreme understatement. But I feel incredibly stuck and stagnant. I don't know what else to do. I think about suicide sometimes but I don't think I could go through with that shit.

If anyone just wants to call me out for being weak I can take it. If I should just fuck off the forum I will, but just figured I'd try this out and be real. Thanks for your time.
Your words hit tru to me like you wouldnt believe. Depression and perhaps anxiety can weigh alot on a person. Any internal struggles and problems you have wont just disappear when you travel but you might change your perspective on them greatly and find ways to cope or forget about them like you never thought possible. Its a big beautiful world out there. Check it out. Be smart and be safe. Im still trying to find happiness and balance every day. Cheers
 
OP
frigginwhatever
Joined
May 28, 2019
Messages
5
Current Location
Illinois
My words can't even do justice how much I appreciate the responses. It makes me feel a little better knowing there's others out there who have experienced the same thoughts and emotions. I just wanna clarify that I'm not highly suicidal or anything. But, just sometimes when I feel trapped I wish I was just...nothing. If that makes any sense. I highly doubt I'd ever have the balls to kill myself. It would hurt the people I love, too.

I come from a hard working family on both sides. Middle class, strong folks who persevere, so I can understand the armed forces recommendation and how it would provide structure and discipline. Perhaps if modern war was actually worth fighting for any of the things it purports, I'd join. But really, you're just a pawn for foreign policy and fighting wars for bankers and world elites. I don't mean any disrespect to those that have served or are currently serving, but that's just the way I see it.

Some of you have echoed my thoughts, about how things could get better through the fresh start on the road and the new experiences. But I'm still scared, what if it doesn't get better? What if things get worse through my "drifting" out there on the road? I also consider how much I'm used to modern conveniences like showering every day, wearing fresh clothes, and having a bed to sleep in every night. It's scary thinking about traveling to all these unknown places and never knowing where I'll end up sleeping by the end of the night. And if anyone would just come up and stab me or some shit and steal my gear while I'm asleep. Also, going back to the hygiene...I feel and sound pathetic probably, but I'd have a hard time feeling "crusty" out there. How do some of you maintain feeling comfortable and clean?

Thank you all, again.
 

Brodiesel710

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Joined
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Messages
552
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Winnemucca, NV
My words can't even do justice how much I appreciate the responses. It makes me feel a little better knowing there's others out there who have experienced the same thoughts and emotions. I just wanna clarify that I'm not highly suicidal or anything. But, just sometimes when I feel trapped I wish I was just...nothing. If that makes any sense. I highly doubt I'd ever have the balls to kill myself. It would hurt the people I love, too.

I come from a hard working family on both sides. Middle class, strong folks who persevere, so I can understand the armed forces recommendation and how it would provide structure and discipline. Perhaps if modern war was actually worth fighting for any of the things it purports, I'd join. But really, you're just a pawn for foreign policy and fighting wars for bankers and world elites. I don't mean any disrespect to those that have served or are currently serving, but that's just the way I see it.

Some of you have echoed my thoughts, about how things could get better through the fresh start on the road and the new experiences. But I'm still scared, what if it doesn't get better? What if things get worse through my "drifting" out there on the road? I also consider how much I'm used to modern conveniences like showering every day, wearing fresh clothes, and having a bed to sleep in every night. It's scary thinking about traveling to all these unknown places and never knowing where I'll end up sleeping by the end of the night. And if anyone would just come up and stab me or some shit and steal my gear while I'm asleep. Also, going back to the hygiene...I feel and sound pathetic probably, but I'd have a hard time feeling "crusty" out there. How do some of you maintain feeling comfortable and clean?

Thank you all, again.
If you have to think a this hard about hitting the road, it might not be for you, but not trying to discourage you from traveling alternatively. You can do it! Or something!??

There are many tricks for staying clean on the road but thats up to you and your own preferences. The crusty thing is more or less a fashion statement and I did my time with all that. I shower daily, because I'm a hard worker and usually by the end of each day I'm covered with a variety of metal shavings/saw dust/diesel fumes/sweat/piss, the last thing I want to do is take that to bed with me. Showering and staying clean is extremely important for your physical well being and mental health, especially on the road. I mean, do a 3 day run, then shower, someway, somehow, thats my standard. So yeah, thats how I do it.

Though to back pedal on my last statement, I was helping out some train riders in town yesterday and one of em had that real nice musty smell, you know that smell you get from not showering for 2-3 weeks, I realized I kind of miss that smell. It's just when you start to smell like straight beer/piss is when you've crossed over in home bum status...
 
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Brodiesel710

Burrito fund contributor
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Joined
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Messages
552
Current Location
Winnemucca, NV
My words can't even do justice how much I appreciate the responses. It makes me feel a little better knowing there's others out there who have experienced the same thoughts and emotions. I just wanna clarify that I'm not highly suicidal or anything. But, just sometimes when I feel trapped I wish I was just...nothing. If that makes any sense. I highly doubt I'd ever have the balls to kill myself. It would hurt the people I love, too.

I come from a hard working family on both sides. Middle class, strong folks who persevere, so I can understand the armed forces recommendation and how it would provide structure and discipline. Perhaps if modern war was actually worth fighting for any of the things it purports, I'd join. But really, you're just a pawn for foreign policy and fighting wars for bankers and world elites. I don't mean any disrespect to those that have served or are currently serving, but that's just the way I see it.

Some of you have echoed my thoughts, about how things could get better through the fresh start on the road and the new experiences. But I'm still scared, what if it doesn't get better? What if things get worse through my "drifting" out there on the road? I also consider how much I'm used to modern conveniences like showering every day, wearing fresh clothes, and having a bed to sleep in every night. It's scary thinking about traveling to all these unknown places and never knowing where I'll end up sleeping by the end of the night. And if anyone would just come up and stab me or some shit and steal my gear while I'm asleep. Also, going back to the hygiene...I feel and sound pathetic probably, but I'd have a hard time feeling "crusty" out there. How do some of you maintain feeling comfortable and clean?

Thank you all, again.

Your a good writer, and obviously pretty smart, you just seemed depressed, and you need a major change.
 

Fuzzypeach

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Joined
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Messages
77
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Tacoma, WA
For your stated reasons, we never had to guts to hit the road with nothing but a backpack. I admire those that do it.
 
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