Newbie all purpose pack??

[kidbob]

So last yr i had devine and i do mean DEVINE intervention with 3 differant groups of hitchers..first group was a couple guys from chattanooga(the yellowdeli?) headed to bonnaroo to save lost souls and they had ur avg looking travel gear,second girl was a chick at the bonaroo exit(3mnths later) headed to hippy hill with her road dogs gear after he got nabbed by the popo and their 2 dogs and cat...and the girl said very happily upon parting ways(see u next yr)(like she knew some how she would) and the third group was a white dude and a black chick from murfreesboro headed down to texas to join some tv evangilist and beg for a job ...now i mention all these pll strictly because they all where on mission for god somehow...but this last two....the mecca messias ...she had a runaway pack and nothing else...and dude...dude looked like ur typical under experianced travelr...i named off his entire pack contents and the cost aswell as the fact it all came from wallmart....dude had 300$ worth of shit all shiney new and reaking of the inexperiance that i knew could cause them problems..i state ALL of this because to the newbies...this is important....god isnt gonna save u from a fat smiley to the face when somebody decides to jack ur shit and run streight to walmart with out a recipt and cash streight in on ur misfortune.....i recomend this if ur gonna buy walmart fallapart...... Get a can of paint....and slaughter ur gear with paint...then dig a hole or turn up some good earthy dirt amd rub ur shit all of in it....then fill the dirt with water....now throw all ur shiney new smellin gear into that muddy puddle and just stomp the fuck out of it for a while....get the dirt in the fibers...
Now that ur pack looks like shit....tak some dental floss and that big ol machete lookin knife that aint worth shit but will get u arrested for carrying through town on display...yah take that dental floss and sew its sheeth onto ur backside of the pack so it rest between u and ur pack..now ur knif is easily reachable and hidden.nothing screams rob me more than a tiny kid with a big knife and a backpack that has beats..so i recomend dismanteling any sound speakers or lights or reflective services...ur supposed to be discreet and ninja like...not bumpin dubstep from the kitchen sink..which u as a newbie will inevatble pack... Wrap ur blanket up WiTH ur sleeping bag..and strap it to the mid or underside of ur pack..u can then set ur pack down and squat on ur pack roll and be kicked back flyin ur sign.invest in penny stove technology...nothing blows a spot up like smoke from a fire...cops got a nose for that shit.I highly reccomend a 6x9 tarp and the pocket hammock sold at any sporting goods local for under 30 bucks...it elemenates the need for a tent except squalls and monsoons or hurricanes....also... I recommend defiantly investing in several bottles of tent sealer and a pair of good thick carhart coveralls modded for ur pleasure...lol