Need advice. 19 years old getting kicked out. (1 Viewer)

roronoazoro

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My dad is a super religious conservative muslim and yesterday I finally snapped. I'm an atheist/buddhist but he didn't know this. He usually forces me to pray 5 times a day and to read the quran but yesterday I got fed up with it and told him fuck this stupid ass religious bullshit and that I'm not muslim and I have been lying to him for years. He got very very very pissed off and told me I'm not his son anymore and told me to get the fuck out his house.

I packed some stuff and now i'm at my uncles apartment. I'm going back to pick up the rest of my things and I'm going to be staying with my uncle until I can do something. I have a job i just can't afford my own place yet because my minimum wage job doesn't pay me enough to have my own apartment. And i don't want to burden my uncle because he lives in a one bedroom place so i want to get out as soon as possible.

I'm thinking either I should get another job, find a roommate, or say fuck it and go hitchhiking. I've always been attracted to the idea of traveling. I've just never had the balls to do it. I don't know, am i being naive? I don't know too much about hitchhiking other than a few documentaries and articles. I'm just not sure... need some advice if possible. Thanks in advance.
 
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There's probably people on here that can give you way better advice than I can. But from another 19 year old, I'd say if there was ever a time to go travel and explore the world it would be now while you have nothing tying you down. It can be near impossible to do once you have to worry about family and legal charges and court cases and jobs and rent and all that bullshit. And if you're making minimum wage then I don't see a reason you can't go anywhere else in the world and make the same if not more. That's just my opinion. Definitely try and talk to some of the more seasoned travelers on here about it. Theyll probably tell you don't train hop right off the bat unless you know someone who knows what the fuck their doing. Hitchhiking is a good one depending on the area you're in. Bus tickets can be pretty cheap. And really just try and meet some people already on the road. Traveling with a companion is usually a plus.
 

EphemeralStick

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Do what feels most comfortable to you. The bright side of being in a shitty situation is that there are all sorts of ways to make it better. Personally, I'd say fuck it and go travel for a bit. Explore the world, have your own adventure. Of course make sure that you are prepared before you head out. Do some research, get some gear together and then just pick a direction and go. Just remember to not be an ass while your out there and you'll be fine.

As for your Dad, I don't know him personally but I think he'll come around. Distance gives people time to think about how they view their loved ones. For better or worse.

Welcome to StP.
 

DocRoberts

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I hate to be the devil's advocate here, but... did it occur to you that the way you handled your religious coming out was... well, poorly done? It's entirely right and deserved to be your own person, but you don't need to go about it in a way that insults someone who raised you.

As for your rights, you may still (technically) qualify as a dependent. People over 25 don't get that without special needs circumstances, hence the decency of Obamacare despite all its MANY flaws.

What you should do is look into what you, as a person, are entitled to as an adult that is living with your family and have (presumably) been depending on their insurance for. Following that, you should sit down with your dad, don't let bridges burn, just say you need some time apart, and figure out where you go from there.

Don't get me wrong, I know how horrible overbearing religion can be. I've had bible-thumping parents on me since I was eleven, and I still get people they know telling me, "don't worry, you can be fixed" as an agnostic.

It might help if you tell your dad that Buddhism isn't a religion, but a philosophy. There are Buddhists in both Catholicism and Judaism that actively practice their primary faith.

tl;dr: I know you're looking for an immediate, short answer, but you're really young. There isn't one. This is when you start doing the things that'll effect the rest of your life. Just keep a sound mind about what you do, and remember that you should always take twenty breaths and disengage if you think you're going to start yelling. It's never worth it.
 

DocRoberts

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Do what feels most comfortable to you. The bright side of being in a shitty situation is that there are all sorts of ways to make it better. Personally, I'd say fuck it and go travel for a bit. Explore the world, have your own adventure. Of course make sure that you are prepared before you head out. Do some research, get some gear together and then just pick a direction and go. Just remember to not be an ass while your out there and you'll be fine.

As for your Dad, I don't know him personally but I think he'll come around. Distance gives people time to think about how they view their loved ones. For better or worse.

Welcome to StP.
I'm sorry, boss, but doing what's most comfortable for you isn't always the best solution. Often times, what's most comfortable is what's most pleasing. Hedonism can be supremely destructive.

I'm not saying you're wrong that he needs some distance from the situation in order to calm down and gather his thoughts, but actin solely on the hedonistic principle of doing what feels best doesn't result in the best end for every person. There are far too many variables to consider in order to slap a carte blanche philosophy onto a lifestyle. In fact, you're right. He does need distance from the situation, he needs to cool down a bit, then approach it with an objective attitude and realize that it's two different belief systems. Those are supremely difficult to reconcile, and in the heat of the moment, that shit can become verbally violent.

I love tramping, exploring, all of that. But it shouldn't be the go-to for everyone. In this case, it would be running away from a deep routed family problem that, if not addressed, would result in a dead relationship.
 
K

Kim Chee

I deleted myself
My dad is a super religious conservative muslim and yesterday I finally snapped.
I've always admired people who strongly believe in something even if I don't believe in it.

If I had a choice to accept a ride from a super religious conservative muslim or an atheist/bhuddist I'd go with whoever got me further down the road.

I hope whoever gave me a ride wasn't a hypocrite.
 
S

sasquatch

I deleted myself
<redacted>
I can relate to your situation. There is a guide on here somewhere for people considering running away from home. Refer to that.
 
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I'm sorry, boss, but doing what's most comfortable for you isn't always the best solution. Often times, what's most comfortable is what's most pleasing. Hedonism can be supremely destructive.
I have to emphasize this. And this coming from personal experience, living comfortable was all that I tried to do, heck just a few days ago I refused to go to someone's birthday because I wanted to avoid possible awkward situations, they were friends, but not really close friends where interacting is completely easy and natural, and since I only live a comfortable life there's less exciting stories to share in a conversation except about movies and shit.

This meant that now at 24 I have amassed very little life experience (relationships, work, adventures etc) because I avoided getting out of my comfort zone and always played it safe.

On the other hand, consuming media is still very satisfying and free :D I just need more of other things which I'm now fighting for.
 

SophiaII

Shoot Me
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I left my home at 18 because my dad was threatening to Kill me. I was lucky enough to have a shelter to stay in for about 3 mos so I could finish High School. I'm always really grateful for that.

If you grew up in a religious household, chances are that you were sheltered in some ways, maybe a lot. You may have a very naive view of people. It's not good to hitch if you are too naive.

Depending on how big the religious community is that your dad comes from is in the place you live, you might want/need to move. Pick somewhere pretty cheap, and college age. Find a way to live with like 4-5 other people so you get a cheap rent. Work your face off for a year. Be very social. You should be working, meeting people, or sleeping basically.

Then go travel. If you don't understand people, in that, you can't judge if someone wants to hurt you, you don't want to be traveling yet. You'll learn fast on the road, but it'll could be painful.
 

I give up

Newbie
Joined
Jul 15, 2016
Messages
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If it helps at 19 I was getting shot at by these pissed off guys cuz I was in there county and where ing the wrong clothes. Tell your dad you love him and go out on the road see the world then go to school.
 

SEMICHRIST

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Jun 6, 2015
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Somewhere
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man, i say go for it. if you're smart and hesitant enough to be asking about it here before doing it, you're already ahead of the game. you probably are a bit naive, but we all were at one point or another. just be safe, keep your wits about you and walk out that door.

there's some overwrought armchair psychiatrist bullshit going on in this thread and I think it's doing more harm than good to fill a 19yo head with opinions that are clearly steeped in your own trauma/regrets.

as far as good advice; EphemeralStick summed it up well as far as the relationship with your dad. some distance and time will remind you both what is important in the relationship and if you both can step past your pride then you'll probably have a better relationship than before.

hitchhiking isn't hard, it just takes patience and a good judge of character. just fill a backpack with what you'd need camping. also a headlamp. there's tons of good info on here and hitchwiki and probably all over the internet, you won't have a problem
 

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