i guess these are pretty weak stories but whatever it was fun. and im stoned so i wanna ramble. last april i found out my father,who i'd never met, had colon cancer and might be dying. this was the first time i'd ever spoken to him, that he told me this. so i got myself a bus ticket down to tampa, from nyc chinatown. my girlfriend drove me to new york, we spent the night in my friends dorm, her car broke down on the way back, and as she's lost somewhere just outside manhattan i'm on the train to, i dunno penn station? my phone runs out of money on the train, one or two texts after i find out she's stranded. i'm hiking this longass trek down i think main street straight into chinatown, no money for water so i made a pitiful little sign that just said WATER? and hung it around my neck. the dude i was supposed to meet up with to help me find my bus stopped answering my payphone calls, and i end up completely fuckin lost with fifteen minutes til it's scheduled t leave. i finally find it like 2 minutes ahead of time, it waits a good twenty minutes to leave. bus ride sucks, whatever, lots of reallyreallyreally loud chinese, angry sounding people. we get to tampa, i start talking to this random ex-marine dude sitting outside the chinese grocery store. we go in and steal some food(i dont d that much anymore, not from small businesses ever. bad karma), and decide to get a dimebag. walk into the ghetto, first dude we signal down is deaf but my dude happens to know simple sign language, follow him to some house, dude there's out, says he knows someone at the gas station. following him we get impatient and flag down a random car. this dude was honestly kinda scary lol, but the funny bit is he said that he'd throw each of us an extra bag of weed if we gave him our full names, soc security numbers, and birthdates so he could 'claim us as tax dependents' lol. so we give him bullshit, shack up under an overpass and roll a couple joints singing sublime and talking shit. it was a good time, and then my father picked me up and we had a good couple weeks. my halfbrother and i took a walk through this cowfield and found a great lovely cow skeleton spread out under a tree. it was really beautiful. and the night before i was leaving my dad haha, he tried to get me to fight him while he was completely naked. he claimed that he'd been done with crack long before but he acted seedy and the places we went were seedy. anyway thats a story.
bonus points before we walked int the ghetto i stashed my bag in the hollowed out trunk of this beautiful purple blooming tree.
extra bonus points my fathers best friend was this old dude who liked to wear a dress and go by some girl name. which i totally respect so dont talk shit.
oh and the fine sharts, completely unrelated just these two poop related stories i feel like sharing. during my city's occupy, there was this parking garage that a few of us liked to race down. well there were a few but this one was closest and the favored garage. one fine evening, up at the top, i decided i needed to do something, so i took a shit in the corner, picked it up with a paperbag and drew a heart of shit on the wall.
and the other time, me and three friends were wandering around the hyatt down the road, taking notepads and drawingdicks on shit, just fucking around. we went to the mens room, one of the dudes and the girl went in the stall to do whatever, and i felt like taking a shit in the urinal. so i did, and right after i finish 2 maintenance dudes walk in. so me and the other guy just step out, leave the other 2 and wait out front for them.
maybe i'm a douchebag but whatever it was fun
time for another bowl
bonus points before we walked int the ghetto i stashed my bag in the hollowed out trunk of this beautiful purple blooming tree.
extra bonus points my fathers best friend was this old dude who liked to wear a dress and go by some girl name. which i totally respect so dont talk shit.
oh and the fine sharts, completely unrelated just these two poop related stories i feel like sharing. during my city's occupy, there was this parking garage that a few of us liked to race down. well there were a few but this one was closest and the favored garage. one fine evening, up at the top, i decided i needed to do something, so i took a shit in the corner, picked it up with a paperbag and drew a heart of shit on the wall.
and the other time, me and three friends were wandering around the hyatt down the road, taking notepads and drawingdicks on shit, just fucking around. we went to the mens room, one of the dudes and the girl went in the stall to do whatever, and i felt like taking a shit in the urinal. so i did, and right after i finish 2 maintenance dudes walk in. so me and the other guy just step out, leave the other 2 and wait out front for them.
maybe i'm a douchebag but whatever it was fun
time for another bowl
