A lot of people tend to be really aggressive towards intros like this without actually providing decent feedback, so I suppose I'll try to help a bit more.
StP is a pretty close-knit community, so people are much more willing to provide advice if they know a bit about you. How old are you? Where are you from? What kind of music do you like? What are your interests?
Intros like the one you posted tend to clog up the forums with "repeat" posts. Essentially, by asking more specific questions, you're likely to get a better response, so long as it hasn't been asked before. The search bar at the top of the page should be able to help you.
Anyways, welcome to StP! Just make those changes and you should fit right in.