well.. did she say that's what she was or *may* be after when you entered the relationship?
if not.. well.. ya dun have to stay..
if yer cohabiting, both of you know that a relationship is more than just seeing each other all the time..
it's a major investment into the circumstances of life..
now.. if you were up front, & she knew you, & knew there were some major incompatibilities (like the desire to travel, an inability to commit to a single partner, children or other family that would need you, you or her not wanting / wanting kids, etc.) & she didn't say "man, that's gonna be a bitch, dun know if it's a good idea.. better not look for a LTR from each other", but just let it slide knowing she could cause you grief later on, & leverage that grief, then yeah..
humans have hard pieces of evil in them.
but if you were both, like, "hey.. let's see where this goes..".. well, then.. it's perfectly fair for her to ask the little boy to man up, and answer whether or not you & her should keep going.
if you hem & haw & just slog along, trying to stay warm by not answering, well..
fuck that shit..
hopefully she has what it takes to throw you out, if she's the one who's holding the roof.
if you have the balls to sit down & say "honey? i can't get married... give me time to throw out the shit i can't take with me, ok?. & i love you anyways, but being with you & you only for the rest of my life wasn't part of the deal", then yeah.. that is man up.
strip your shit to what you can fit in your pack or in your vehicle & fucking go, without pouting.
& you know what?
if you love her?
& if you work well together?
fucking marry her..
make the ceremony *legal*, if that's what she really wants, but make it fucking *minimal*.
dunno what your reservations are.. if it's the wedding itself, but you don't want a wedding, but are still willing to tie the knot?
well..pardon me, but.. maybe it's best to say "fuck this", & walk, if she won't see that you'll give her what she wants, even if it is *your* way..
if you *just don't want to get married* & you've been up front about it for a long time, then yer free.
*go.*
don't hurt her because you have someplace you like to be & are trying to change her mind, or stretch things out..
be fucking fair, right?
right.
if.. & i say ***if***, since i wouldn't expect this of you, & i say it only so you can catch yourself before you unknowingly do something which would be really, really, really ***REALLY*** shitty, if it weren't pointed out so that someone who was doing it could see that they were doing it, if they *dinna* see they were doing it..
*IF* you stretch shit out so you can stay as comfy as possible, until she fucking snaps or whatever, then you aren't being a little boy.
you're just being a huge piece of fucking shit.
now.. you know..
if you love her???
& if she loves you??
(& yeah.. no love is perfect.. there are all sorts of conditions, quirks, compulsions, fears, uncertainties, imperfections, etc., that surround the folks who are engaged.. cough.. cough.. in the process of warfare & unification & hope & joy..)
if you two have love?
then both of you have to fucking *human* up..
let me fucking tell you something.. when you are 70, motherfucker, & you have a woman at your side, you are going to be fucking happy, so long as the two of you are equal... that means, *now*, saying what you need, what you want, what you expect & her doing *exactly* the same.
& the two of you hammering something together that looks better than a fucking booby-trap of legalities that each of you might be able to assault each other with at some unknown moment in the future..
fucking nail it down.
if she needs security & knowing that you are there, then she needs to know what it is that you are , & how you are able to manage your essential self in the context of the love & fairness needed for each of you to help each other out in the days when the two of you will be each others greatest help.
i dunno how old you are, Wizehop..
but man..
do you really want to grow old in a hobo jungle?
do you really want to be hitching on the road at 75?
if you do, then fuck, man.. *leave* & leave now, because being hardcore on the road is *always* leaving..
every moment until it kills you.
every moment until it kills you.
& i don't know that that is really freedom.
leaving at every moment is fucking *desperation*..
being stuck at every moment is *confinement*...
just because someone loves you doesn't mean you are trapped, though..
& if she loves you, & if there are no kids, then she has to deal with whatever the consequences are of what she is demanding..
but man.. unless you are going to be fucking celibate & can drop dead over a can of soup & a plastic spoon with *maybe* the luxury of a fire..
then fucking marry her, if she truly loves you & can give you enough freedom to keep to your explorations to the extent that you can be yourself.
i mean.. fucking *seagulls* live on the fucking wind, & *they* mate for life.. right?
just make sure you're with another seabird, at least..
just do not.. *do not*.. keep her hanging because that's easiest, or even because you think you have a *right* to, since she may (for all we know) have lied about the stuff she wanted from the two of you being together.. if *that's* the case, then get the fuck OUT, now..
hope it works out, buddy..
C