looking at this other video
you know, i'd be more open about this stuff but i read this bbok Enoch, from the dead sea scrolls on watchers, thanks to my asshole friend back in 2007 and it's negativity has suficiently fucked up my perspective on all this. i even finally broke down and started trying to read the bible. according to the bible earthly elohi beings are considered to be evil and what they're skilled in, like numerology, a type of divination and dream interpretation and astrology...ect. so for me personaly..i haven't seen an open door that doesn't lead to eternal damnation and i take spiritual stuff a little to serious..so this is just another dead end for me. if you've got some info that's positive, speak it. i used to be realy in touch with all of this..yellow coating on everything, than some asshole handed me that book and it's all been fucked every since. I wouldn't even read books completely before that, esp any books on religion or spiritualism just so my mind would stay free..but i opened that enoch book up on just the right page, to bring complete terror in my life and i probably read 100's of books in a three year span, trying to figure out what the fuck. It wouldn't be so bad, but I get what these religions are trying to say, so I'm not going to pretend like it's just all dumb, because it's not. The only thing I know to do anymore is just ignore it all and do whats for the best and hope for a decent ending in all this..same as everyone else i guess..yeah, don't go reading that watcher book..i crossed it with other books and had some wingnut experiences and i don't want to repeat all that again..it didn't really seem to have any positive out comes other than I'm more a loner than i was before, so I guess my life's more simple, being the positive out come and I'm a wing nut hidden in logical and rational verbs.