it really happened. And it happened to ME!

[sandpaper cowboy]

Deleted

 

[Cree]

5 minutes of my life i will never get back from reading this

 

[sandpaper cowboy]

5 minutes of my life i will never get back from reading this

...well, can't win em all I guess.

 

[creature]

this has only happened to you once??

every time i land someplace new, i run into a tractor beam..

not nurses & stuff, but they look a lot like salamanders with spaghetti colanders on their heads, prodding each other with violins, and making something like noises that feel like my head is being forced up an old-style hand pump & then stuffed into a battery that makes some kind of negative light that forces me backwards through time & makes me stay in the places i've tried hardest to forget, & then they tell me "it's ok.. it's ok.. it's just a small existential donation to continued maintenance of the sublime power structures we have put on your planet to secure your general welfare & good being..", & then, after living through the bicycle accident, or the refrigerator slamming into me, or the model rocket engines that blew up & engulfed me in flames (no fucking kidding) for what seems to be about 72 hours, they release me with a claw shake & something that i think is supposed to be a smile, but looks more like how i feel when i am drunkenly regurgitating, & thank me for my time, which is never actually more that a few minutes & always, always, always winds up with me stuck in my bed at about two AM in the morning, no matter *what* time i had *actually* gone to bed before that...

yeah.. i agree..

this donation shit is pretty, pretty freaky...

 

[creature]

& you know..?? the funny thing is that sudden blood loss is sometimes accompanied by near shock experiences or episodes of delusion..

i wish they would just be satisfied with canned goods, motherfuckers...

 

[iamwhatiam]

What kind of drugs u been taking? lol go easy with those research chemicals bro

 

[creature]

research???

you mean...

they've been experimenting on us since *birth*????

 

[drewski]

Damnit cowboy...I wasn't here for fiction you sneaky mofo. That being said I'll hold back my dislike rating ::cigar::

 

[Odin]

Creative writing for a crack head. ::cigar::


(jking)

Sensai would've been proud.

How do I join your dojo?

::

 

[EphemeralStick]

While I appreciate your awesome creativity StP isn't really a place for that kind of writing.

Awesome story telling none the less

 

[Odin]

New While I appreciate your awesome creativity StP isn't really a place for that kind of writing.

I understand that we need to keep somekinda regulations... But this was too good to pass up.

Has my vote.

 

[sandpaper cowboy]

Damnit cowboy...I wasn't here for fiction you sneaky mofo. That being said I'll hold back my dislike rating ::cigar::

sorry bro, and thanks. You're my rock, you know that right?

I'll do better next time.

 

[sandpaper cowboy]

While I appreciate your awesome creativity StP isn't really a place for that kind of writing.

Awesome story telling none the less

Hey, sorry about that. Don't mean to cause any trouble. I'll reel it in if it's not allowed. Thanks for the kind words.

 

[Matt Derrick]

ah, it was amusing enough that it belongs here. thanks for the contribution

 

[Jaguwar]

I needed that. I'm glad the admins enjoyed it enough to let it stay too. I was thinking about sharing some real, actual crazy, but this was much better. Thanks, @sandpaper cowboy.

 

[Hobo Huck]

WTF did I just read.

Alright, well that's enough internet for me tonight. Just gonna pack it up and head on out of here, guys.

*jumps through the nearest window*

 

[Tude]

hehe - OK so you had me till the jamming the needle in the eye.

 

[Kal]

Nice story I liked it.

 

[sandpaper cowboy]

Thanks everybody.

 

[Trvshwvng]

I didn't realize this story was bullshit til the metal clamps and by then I was almost done masturbating.