I'm feeing overwhelmed

[Bboyrichb]

I'm Rich. I'm from the East Coast: I was born in Worcester, Mass, the second-largest city in New England. I recently moved out of a one-bedroom apartment in Worcester and into another one-bedroom in the town of Southbridge, nearby to Worcester, in Worcester County. The move was unexpectedly traumatic, and I've been wrestling with my emotions ever since. I've come to realize I own too many possessions: my belongings filled up an entire full-sized moving truck. Worse, that truck wasn't large enough for all my shit; the mover's had to leave a bunch of my stuff behind, compelling me to make multiple trips back and forth from my old apartment to my new one to collect the rest of the stuff myself. It took me almost a month to fully unpack. I'm in the process of putting everything where it belongs and I have come to discover along the way, that it's me who's trying - each time I put a tapestry on the wall, or rug on the floor - to belong somewhere. I feel trapped inside my life. Not because I have tasks to do each day: I completed my first novel some time ago, and I'm currently in the editing process. Nor it is due to any sense of duty or obligation to things peripheral in my life. I feel trapped because the things I own have begun to own me, and I don't like the realization, not one little bit...

 

[trashswag86]

 

[trashswag86]

Curious what kind of response you're looking for.
I mean this is introductions, so it's your show, but there's not much here about what kind of person you are, apart from rich and trapped, and apparently a writer. Maybe you could fill in some more details? Otherwise, to me, at least, this is like, boring, and just makes me think about how I wish I'd get my tax refund already, and that stimulus check that shoulda came forever ago, not to mention the one they're currently arguing about.

 

[MatatuPuncher]

I'm Rich. I'm from the East Coast: I was born in Worcester, Mass, the second-largest city in New England. I recently moved out of a one-bedroom apartment in Worcester and into another one-bedroom in the town of Southbridge, nearby to Worcester, in Worcester County. The move was unexpectedly traumatic, and I've been wrestling with my emotions ever since. I've come to realize I own too many possessions: my belongings filled up an entire full-sized moving truck. Worse, that truck wasn't large enough for all my shit; the mover's had to leave a bunch of my stuff behind, compelling me to make multiple trips back and forth from my old apartment to my new one to collect the rest of the stuff myself. It took me almost a month to fully unpack. I'm in the process of putting everything where it belongs and I have come to discover along the way, that it's me who's trying - each time I put a tapestry on the wall, or rug on the floor - to belong somewhere. I feel trapped inside my life. Not because I have tasks to do each day: I completed my first novel some time ago, and I'm currently in the editing process. Nor it is due to any sense of duty or obligation to things peripheral in my life. I feel trapped because the things I own have begun to own me, and I don't like the realization, not one little bit...

I know this sounds corny but check out Marie Kondo's book. Does your shit bring you joy? It sounds like not. Or at least most of it. Use this moving experience as a catalyst.

 

[Bboyrichb]

Curious what kind of response you're looking for.
I mean this is introductions, so it's your show, but there's not much here about what kind of person you are, apart from rich and trapped, and apparently a writer. Maybe you could fill in some more details? Otherwise, to me, at least, this is like, boring, and just makes me think about how I wish I'd get my tax refund already, and that stimulus check that shoulda came forever ago, not to mention the one they're currently arguing about.

I'm not sure what sort of response I was looking for, either. I guess I just figured I'd start with being honest and work my way from there I can tell you I have no interest in tax refunds or stimulus checks, and that you're correct: my life of late is boring...at least, from the outside looking in. From where I sit, however, its a whirlwind of concerns.

 

[Bboyrichb]

I know this sounds corny but check out Marie Kondo's book. Does your shit bring you joy? It sounds like not. Or at least most of it. Use this moving experience as a catalyst.

Thanks for the recommendation, I'll check the book out. This will sound corny also, but I'm beginning to identify with the George Bailey character, from It's a Wonderful Life, in that for years I've wanted to get away from it all (The town where I live, the state, etc.,) but life conspires to keep me grounded in place. And so, I frequently rearrange my apartment(s): at least once every six months. And move from one apartment to another every few years. I forced myself a few times over the years to get rid of all my possessions and live in my car, or van (that I would convert to a camper van) so as to compel myself to travel. The farthest I ever got south was NC, and that trip lasted only a week. I've never been further north than Vermont and that was when I was a kid. And the further west I got was Ohio; where I got locked up in the county jail there for two weeks back in my teenage days of unbridled rebellion. I got locked up a lot during my 16 - 20-year-old period, all for rebelling against society, mostly because I didnt know when I was that age that you can rebel in a pro-social manner.

 

[roughdraft]

sounds like you need to get rid of some stuff, and really get rid of it, don't "put it in storage" or "leave it with a friend" with intention of ever seeing it again. you gotta make a change, you can't just keep "rearranging" as you pointed out you've already been doing.

get rid of stuff that you do not use, externally, then you'll be more able to focus on what's bugging you internally, see how much more well you can feel without being "owned" by your possessions. it probably won't be what you expected but you'll at least be giving yourself a chance to see and feel things differently

 

[Barf]

Put your hand on top of your stomach and take a deep breath.

I guess the idea is to fill your lungs(not your belly)with oxygen, which really does to wonders to decrease stress and anxiety.

Gotta oxygenate that blood.

I learned this technique while I was hospitalized during my last, uh, what’s the word?

Mental crack-up?

Best of luck to yuh.

edit: just saw your location. Get outat Mass if you can.

 

[Bboyrichb]

sounds like you need to get rid of some stuff, and really get rid of it, don't "put it in storage" or "leave it with a friend" with intention of ever seeing it again. you gotta make a change, you can't just keep "rearranging" as you pointed out you've already been doing.

get rid of stuff that you do not use, externally, then you'll be more able to focus on what's bugging you internally, see how much more well you can feel without being "owned" by your possessions. it probably won't be what you expected but you'll at least be giving yourself a chance to see and feel things differently

Thanks. Yeah, I want to get rid of it all, truthfully You're correct, I need a change. And I'm guessing you're correct that I have to dig down internally.

 

[Bboyrichb]

Put your hand on top of your stomach and take a deep breath.

I guess the idea is to fill your lungs(not your belly)with oxygen, which really does to wonders to decrease stress and anxiety.

Gotta oxygenate that blood.

I learned this technique while I was hospitalized during my last, uh, what’s the word?

Mental crack-up?

Best of luck to yuh.

edit: just saw your location. Get outat Mass if you can.

I'll try the breathing exercise and see

 

[Beegod Santana]

Well getting out of Worcester was a good start, moving to southbridge though, not much of an improvement. I mean I know southbridge is "nicer" but meh, I'd take Worcester if I had to choose at gun point.

Personally if you gotta be in Mass I recommend Franklin county. Greenfield is technically a "city" and there's some fun to be had out in those hills, but honestly fuck mass.

 

[Bboyrichb]

Well getting out of Worcester was a good start, moving to southbridge though, not much of an improvement. I mean I know southbridge is "nicer" but meh, I'd take Worcester if I had to choose at gun point.

Personally if you gotta be in Mass I recommend Franklin county. Greenfield is technically a "city" and there's some fun to be had out in those hills, but honestly fuck mass.

Besides my ongoing desire to travel, which life often thwarts on a regular basis, I moved to Southbridge because the apartment was an upgrade from my last apartment in Worcester. I was born in Worcester, Massachusetts, and while I've visited a few other places, I've never really lived anywhere else, so I don't have much of an objective perspective on life here. I did live in Florida for a few months, back when I was 19 and on the run from the cops with my girlfriend at the time; we were living out our Bonnie and Clyde fantasy. Nice weather, Florida, weird vibe, though.