i gave everything up for a man,after talking with him for 1 mth now second thoughts (1 Viewer)


Nov 3, 2016
I have given up a nice apt, and everything I owned. and packed 3 suitcases, moved across the country from CA to Kentucky, to be with a man. I HAD NEVER MET HIM UNTIL I HAD ARRIVED AT TRAIN STATION. WE HAD TALKED FOR A MONTH ON INTERNET. THEN HE ASKED ME TO MOVE IN WITH HIM. SO I JUST UP AND LEFT EVERYTHING I OWNED EXCEPT 3 SUITCASES. Now, here's the problem: This guy is very possesive. He tells me not to talk to or associate with anyone except him. he keeps asking me if i love him. Like he insecured about our relationship. we have been together now for 20 days. I am having 2nd thoughts about this relationship. I don't have any money right now. so i can't just up and leave him. i get paid once a month. he has already got my check spent before i get it. I found out he has a temper. He wants sex all the time. what can i do to make this relationship work out? i trioed to talk to him, but that's like talking to a wall. I'm open for suggestions
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Staff member
Jan 26, 2008
richmond virginia, the east coasts portland.
Leave ASAP. Period. You gave up everything you owned after knowing somebody for a month without even meeting them before making this decision? That's uh, a hell of a leap of faith to put it lightly. In the future maybe try to not be so trusting of people because it sounds like this person is taking advantage of you big time. I hope you get back on yer feet soon.


Oct 16, 2015
"The Hamptons of the Chesapeake"
communication is everything to make a relationship work. full stop

aside from that, if he's keeping you isolated and abusing your money....

you must have a good heart so I strongly advise you to leave immediately, you deserve someone who deserves you.

Consider leaving perhaps under the cover of night without their knowing, or whatever you need to do to be safe, because this person sounds extremely psychotic


Oct 5, 2018
aside from that, if he's keeping you isolated and abusing your money....

you must have a good heart so I strongly advise you to leave immediately, you deserve someone who deserves you.
Elequently stated. These behaviors are strong red flags, especially given how young the relationship is. Even if you have to stay at a shelter for a few weeks to get your check, get yourself out of there.


May 14, 2019
Okay. You've already been told this by several people, but I will reiterate since I've been in exactly the same situation. You will never be able to make it work. He will always be a controlling asshole. GTFO.

Source: I gave up a life in NOLA to follow a man I loved to Idaho. I almost died at his hand, and I'm not exaggerating. Insecurity of that magnitude points to a deeply troubled and potentially dangerous individual. Leaving that kind of situation is scary af, but you can't stay. You are strong and you can do so much better.


May 13, 2019
life is just what happens between meals at dennys
this is a textbook example of abuse. like to a t. isolation, insecurity, demands, keeping partner financially dependant, control by fear, demanding sex, every single thing you mentioned. leave asap and be safe and call people to let then know you are leaving. shit get him drunk and steal his cash and buy a bus ticket. whatever you got to do.
Jul 20, 2018
Milwaukee Wisconsin
Like the rest of the STP members say, GTFO NOW!!!!!

I dumped a girlfriend like that, always wanting money, stealing from from me. Pretty gal but not all there, her ex-boyfriend warned me about her, I had to learn the hard way. I made up a story I got terminated, when she came by my work place, my site supervisor told her I got fired, the story worked beautifully. I broke my lease and changed my phone number and ditched her. Haven't seen or heard from her for over two and half years!

My suggestion to anybody out there, be very careful who you meet online. Meet the person in public first and bring friends to get a second opinion. If the person seems too good to be true, RUN!!!

PLEASE....keep us all updated and be SAFE!!!!!!!!

Here's a book on investigating people you are not sure of:
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Oct 24, 2015
Exeter, United Kingdom
sorry to say amigo, but if he's this much of an ass early on, in the 'honeymoon' period of your relationship, well it's only gonna get worse and hurt you even more.... as everyone else is saying, you gotta up and run - if you need advice to get yourself back on yer feet, the community here will help you as best we can....


Sep 7, 2011
Mandeville, LA
Sorry to hear this. You already know you made a ton of crucial mistakes in making that move. The guy you are with has MAJOR issues, and some you may not even be aware of....yet. He has more in store for you, and it ain't gonna get any better.

So don't make a fatal mistake. Get the fuck out of there now. Plan your escape. If it gets real bad before your next check hits your account, walk out and start hitching. Your stuff is ultimately replaceable, but you are not. I hate getting the cops involved in anything, but if need be, go that route - or even call EMS - if it means saving your life if things get really out of control. There is no fixing the guy you are with, but you can learn from this mistake and rebuild. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

Good luck to you.

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