i gave everything up for a man,after talking with him for 1 mth now second thoughts (1 Viewer)

PAUL BALDWIN

Lurker
Joined
Nov 3, 2016
Messages
2
Age
55
Hometown
Boulton Rd, Yuba City, CA 95993, USA
I have given up a nice apt, and everything I owned. and packed 3 suitcases, moved across the country from CA to Kentucky, to be with a man. I HAD NEVER MET HIM UNTIL I HAD ARRIVED AT TRAIN STATION. WE HAD TALKED FOR A MONTH ON INTERNET. THEN HE ASKED ME TO MOVE IN WITH HIM. SO I JUST UP AND LEFT EVERYTHING I OWNED EXCEPT 3 SUITCASES. Now, here's the problem: This guy is very possesive. He tells me not to talk to or associate with anyone except him. he keeps asking me if i love him. Like he insecured about our relationship. we have been together now for 20 days. I am having 2nd thoughts about this relationship. I don't have any money right now. so i can't just up and leave him. i get paid once a month. he has already got my check spent before i get it. I found out he has a temper. He wants sex all the time. what can i do to make this relationship work out? i trioed to talk to him, but that's like talking to a wall. I'm open for suggestions
 
Click here to buy one of our amazing custom bandanas!

SlankyLanky

stp user voted "the friendliest mod"
Staff member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 26, 2008
Messages
2,937
Age
33
Hometown
richmond virginia, the east coasts portland.
Leave ASAP. Period. You gave up everything you owned after knowing somebody for a month without even meeting them before making this decision? That's uh, a hell of a leap of faith to put it lightly. In the future maybe try to not be so trusting of people because it sounds like this person is taking advantage of you big time. I hope you get back on yer feet soon.
 

roughdraft

RápidoCorrenLosCarrosRespletoLosRielesDFerrocarril
Joined
Oct 16, 2015
Messages
1,132
Age
29
Hometown
"The Hamptons of the Chesapeake"
communication is everything to make a relationship work. full stop

aside from that, if he's keeping you isolated and abusing your money....

you must have a good heart so I strongly advise you to leave immediately, you deserve someone who deserves you.

Consider leaving perhaps under the cover of night without their knowing, or whatever you need to do to be safe, because this person sounds extremely psychotic
 

Jackthereaper

Wayfarer
Joined
Oct 5, 2018
Messages
289
Hometown
Earth
aside from that, if he's keeping you isolated and abusing your money....

you must have a good heart so I strongly advise you to leave immediately, you deserve someone who deserves you.
Elequently stated. These behaviors are strong red flags, especially given how young the relationship is. Even if you have to stay at a shelter for a few weeks to get your check, get yourself out of there.
 

LoisLane23

Lurker
Joined
May 14, 2019
Messages
6
Hometown
Boise
Okay. You've already been told this by several people, but I will reiterate since I've been in exactly the same situation. You will never be able to make it work. He will always be a controlling asshole. GTFO.

Source: I gave up a life in NOLA to follow a man I loved to Idaho. I almost died at his hand, and I'm not exaggerating. Insecurity of that magnitude points to a deeply troubled and potentially dangerous individual. Leaving that kind of situation is scary af, but you can't stay. You are strong and you can do so much better.
 

scutellaria

Pilgrim
Joined
May 13, 2019
Messages
68
Age
28
Hometown
life is just what happens between meals at dennys
this is a textbook example of abuse. like to a t. isolation, insecurity, demands, keeping partner financially dependant, control by fear, demanding sex, every single thing you mentioned. leave asap and be safe and call people to let then know you are leaving. shit get him drunk and steal his cash and buy a bus ticket. whatever you got to do.
 
Joined
Jul 20, 2018
Messages
521
Hometown
Milwaukee Wisconsin
Website
www.youtube.com
Like the rest of the STP members say, GTFO NOW!!!!!

I dumped a girlfriend like that, always wanting money, stealing from from me. Pretty gal but not all there, her ex-boyfriend warned me about her, I had to learn the hard way. I made up a story I got terminated, when she came by my work place, my site supervisor told her I got fired, the story worked beautifully. I broke my lease and changed my phone number and ditched her. Haven't seen or heard from her for over two and half years!

My suggestion to anybody out there, be very careful who you meet online. Meet the person in public first and bring friends to get a second opinion. If the person seems too good to be true, RUN!!!

PLEASE....keep us all updated and be SAFE!!!!!!!!

Here's a book on investigating people you are not sure of:
 
Last edited:

roguetrader

Wanderer
Joined
Oct 24, 2015
Messages
437
Hometown
Exeter, United Kingdom
sorry to say amigo, but if he's this much of an ass early on, in the 'honeymoon' period of your relationship, well it's only gonna get worse and hurt you even more.... as everyone else is saying, you gotta up and run - if you need advice to get yourself back on yer feet, the community here will help you as best we can....
 

huze24

Newbie
Joined
Sep 7, 2011
Messages
12
Hometown
Mandeville, LA
Sorry to hear this. You already know you made a ton of crucial mistakes in making that move. The guy you are with has MAJOR issues, and some you may not even be aware of....yet. He has more in store for you, and it ain't gonna get any better.

So don't make a fatal mistake. Get the fuck out of there now. Plan your escape. If it gets real bad before your next check hits your account, walk out and start hitching. Your stuff is ultimately replaceable, but you are not. I hate getting the cops involved in anything, but if need be, go that route - or even call EMS - if it means saving your life if things get really out of control. There is no fixing the guy you are with, but you can learn from this mistake and rebuild. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

Good luck to you.
 

Users Who Are Viewing This Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 1)

About us

  • Squat the Planet is the world's largest social network for misfit travelers. Join our community of do-it-yourself nomads and learn how to explore the world by any means necessary.

    More Info

Support StP!

Donations go towards paying our monthly server fees, adding new features to the website, and occasionally putting a burrito in Matt's mouth.

Total amount
$105.00
Goal
$100.00

Monthly Goals

  1. Paying the Bills
    $50.00 of $50.00 - reached!
    The first $50 in donations go towards paying our monthly server fees and adding new features to the website. Once this goal is reached, we'll see about feeding Matt that burrito.
  2. Buy Matt a Beer
    $75.00 of $75.00 - reached!
    Now that we have the bills paid for this month, let's give Matt a hearty thank you by buying him a drink for all the hard work he's done for StP. Hopefully his will help keep him from going insane after a long day of squishing website bugs.
  3. Feed Matt a Burrito
    $100.00 of $100.00 - reached!
    Now that the bills are paid and Matt has a beer in his hand, how about showing him your love by rewarding all his hard work with a big fat burrito to put in his mouth. This will keep him alive while programming new features for the website.
  4. Finance the Shopping Cart
    $105.00 of $200.00
    Now that the bills are paid and Matt is fed, perhaps it's time to start planning for those twilight years under the bridge... if only he had that golden shopping cart all the oogles are bragging about these days.

Latest Status Updates

Nearly done with the electrical system of the van. 170Ah Lithium ion, 2/4K inverter, 400 watt of solar, 40A MPPT controller. Should be up and running (or explode) this weekend.

After that I have to finish the primary work table, which will be the last big piece of the build.
back in FL 4 da 3rd time til I head 2 Colorado
Hey folks, we've opened up a new thread to discuss organizing this year's jamboree in the san juan islands! You should throw in your two cents! https://squattheplanet.com/fest
returning refreshed, refurbished and re-treaded ... om back what did i miss?
Offline for a short stint. Be back soon.
NOLA anybody? i got wheels. thinking about getting something to drink and marking some trains
Oddman wrote on Brodiesel710's profile.
Nice picture, on the Wikipedia "hobo" page... I was working on that page a little, a few weeks ago. It's a total mess and I just scratched the surface, but I keep watching and hoping someone else will improve it. That photo improves it for sure. Wish I knew enough about hobo history to write something decent there.
Got a new pad in CinCinNasty , anyone passing nearby hit me up. Got a couch and brews
.and smoke if that's your thing.
el Pasooooo.... here I AM. Sticken out like a white girl in mexico haha. Hitchen to white sands in a couple days oo baybeh ~ who's out here?
Still learning how this werkz lol