Great tips. But Jesus Christ, I hope I make it through life without having to anally finger a dog.
My dog likes to eat tissues and tampons. Salt and blood.
I've had to glove up and pull out some stuff.
Vet's are expensive, and I love her, so it's all good.
Two dog stories;
I had a few beers and 20ish grams of oxy; I was feeling great.
Walking down the street to the corner liquor store in a nicer area
Out of nowhere and before I know it there's a meaaan chow with my lower leg in it's mouth.
I, quite literally, instinctively smashed my glass road soda over its head.
It backed up, laughed at me, and got my other leg.
Right as "im kinda fucked mode" was kicking in, the owner came out, the dogged snapped out of it, and he gained control of it.
The owner was most excellent, offered to take me to the hospital, and gave me 200 bucks so I could miss work the next few days. I just ended up going to the liquor store and bleeding alot, so it was a pretty cool night.
I also learned that night that animal's adrenaline is wayyyy better than human's.
Number 2
I was walking with my dog in a bit of a sketch area in CO springs.
Angry ass pit pull hops over a low fence and is charging at my extremely overmatched companion pup.
I get in between the two and get big and loud and yell at the pit to get on.
He stops, takes an aggressive stance and starts barking
I think we're cool and then I hear "YOU YELLIN AND MY FUCKING DOG YOU FUCKIN PUSSY!"
Some prison yard buffed out mexican vato dood twice my size is walking toward me lookin' all coked up.
Without even thinking I scooped my dog and ran across the street the opposite way saying sorry over my shoulder.