How did you get your road name?

[Older Than Dirt]

When my mom was in her senior year of high school in the 1950-1951 school year, she broke her leg playing lacrosse.

A kid she wouldn't date nicknamed her "Hop-Along Chastity".

Probably requires explanation for you kids since cowboy movie star Hop-Along Cassidy was already pretty passe when i was a kid, but still one of the best nicknames i have ever heard. Anyone can feel free to adopt it, mom is dead and she won't mind.

 

[Warboy]

in a city somewhere... someplace- there were two waring factions; one of tweaky methheads; one of easy going folk. The easygoin' folk had been robbed by the tweaky ones; so I shook down a load of people to recover some very much needed perscrip pills for a very distressed older gentleman. I'm also bald and a bit crazy like the "warboys" in mad max- (which was popular at the time). I've had other nicks in the past, including "rolling" given because I was rolling on mdma

 

[Spazz]

It seems as if there is a Spazz in every town or every group of people where I have ever been. At first they just say, "Don't be such a Spazz!" or "X is such a Spazz!" but after awhile, they just give up and say, "Here comes Spazz."

Nobody particularly LIKES Spazz, but after about fourth grade, we all put on our big girl/boy/enby panties and deal with it. Here comes Spazz. Put away the good weed because Spazz will want to smoke it. Hide the contraband because Spazz will blab about it. Leave if you must, but be polite about it. Here comes Spazz and nobody wants to see Spazz throw a Spazz attack.

Usually Spazz is male and in his 20s. People do a doubletake when they meet a female Spazz. Nice young dudes like you might even make a face and say, "There's no way I'm going to call you Spazz, Ma'am."

But you will.

It's called PTSD. I don't like it any more than you do. You aren't my shrink and it isn't your job to remember my name, my face, or my backstory.

So thank you for handing me my driver's license and car keys. I didn't really want to throw them away after all. Sorry 'bout that. I go by Spazz.

 

[Boardingly]

Reverend Theodore Bushpig.
Friend called me Teddy Bushpig once. He's weird.

Also, I'm ordained, hence Rev.

That brief piece is somehow one of the best stories i've ever heard. Love it.

 

[drift]

Drift is my birth name and feels like a suitable road name so I just use it. I'm sure at least a few people who picked me up hitchhiking assumed I gave them an alias.

 

[RoadFlower33]

Long story short... I was on the run with $350,000 in warrants in 2013. I was in the paper on the news and cops be stopping ppl on the streets that looked like me. I needed a name that didn't poke up ears or bring to the mind who I was while I got out of my home state Idaho. I had always met weird named ppl on my travels like Dumpster, Squirrel or Road hawk for a few. Walking down a long empty highway in December in idaho is kinda sketchy if you have no place to go when the sun goes down. Thinking about that and how I couldn't get away if someone did recognize me or my name I had to come up with one that made me seem less local and more interesting than the one all over the news. I thought about it for a short while when I decided I liked Road as a name. Roads are tough, they will take you anywhere, what lies down the road is a mystery, the road is enduring threw all things, it takes many directions and forms, there is no wrong way to go down a road, and only a few right ways to build one... Road seemed like a good road name. So I choose Road. Long story later I was in Montana walking down the street with a dirty kid named Schmidtty. Dressed in all purple from top to bottom head to foot every article he wore beside his boots wer purple. Walking a good 100 feet ahead of me Schmidtty stomping exasperating every step stomping and singing some random things into song without warning stoped his silliness in mid step to avoid stepping on a purple flower growing out of a crack in the road we were crossing. In med step song and all he froze. for a solid minute until he knew we had noticed him Schmidtty was stone. It was hilarious to watch honestly. Catching up to him he unfroz bent over and plucked the flower while at the same time calling out to me Road pointing to the flower saying road flower, then gives me the flowers saying he is dubing me Road Flower. He said he was naming me Road Flower bc of how beautiful and bright I was despite my current situation. Like a road flower, I bloomed against all odds, after I was tore up beat down paved over and driven on I still look forward with love for all life. I have kept the name bc I have never been given another.

 

[RoadFlower33]

Drift is my birth name and feels like a suitable road name so I just use it. I'm sure at least a few people who picked me up hitchhiking assumed I gave them an alias.

Bad ass name to have tho