# Favorite hitching sign



## bakerdoo

I am sure everyones got their favorite sign that they make when hitchin rides. care to share your funny/creative signs that have been effective?

Mine: can i hang on to your hitch? 

i know, not that good, needs improvement...


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## Mouse

I do the big thumb too.

but another favorite is "We're nice"


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## dirtypants

"anywhere but here" has always worked rather well


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## dirtypants

"anywhere but here" has always worked rather well SORRY

Post edited by: dirtypants, at: 2007/08/01 16:00


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## inky

we were walking with a sign that said CHICAGO! FUCK YEAH! and around the bend two cars had stopped for us. it was rad.


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## adam

we were flying "We wont kill you", in the city limits of Birmingham Al. Great for laughs-the cop that drove by looked pissed, but eventualy a college kid picked us up. When i got in the car i should have said "Just kidding". Always next time.

Also you can buy those big foam thumbs up used for basketball games and shit, i want to get one of those for $10 or so.


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## Clit Comander

we always will fly a sign that just says the next biggest city. 
one of my rod dogs knows a guy who got a hitching thumb tattooed on the inside of his arm. so he justs walks backwards with his arm out.


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## Poking Victim

*Clit Comander wrote:*


> we always will fly a sign that just says the next biggest city.
> one of my rod dogs knows a guy who got a hitching thumb tattooed on the inside of his arm. so he justs walks backwards with his arm out.



I either do that, the direction I'm headed or 'next biggest city' / 'direction headed'.
The tattoo sounds retarded because it's not a large task to stick out your thumb if your arm is already out and who could ever see his tattoo from their car and actually figure it out in time to pick him up?


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## Clit Comander

i'd never do it, but i heard it worked.


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## artandrevolution

Trying to get to this town in Croatia.








Somewhere in the Southwest





Simplicity works well for trying to get to whatever country your trying to get to. No need to beat about the bush.







Sometimes just standing and giving cornfields the finger works real well for getting rides.





Post edited by: artandrevolution, at: 2007/09/14 12:34


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## Grace

My boyfriend and I were sitting at an exit off the NJ Turnpike north -- he was trying to get to Vermont in a day. Our sign said "We Don't Wanna Die in Jersey." But I think Jersey people have a little too much pride -- it didn't work too well until some old hippie dude from Connecticut cut us a break.


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## Hoghead Bob

Make shure this is playing in the background:

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yS4dQDjTJrQ"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yS4dQDjTJrQ[/ame]


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## inky

i just hitched down the 101 too, from coos bay to san francisco. the two kids i was travelling with had a banjo and a washboard and every time we were waiting for a ride, they would just set up and play. we got rides so quickly, i felt bad that i was just holding the sign, but i think we looked like such bumpkins people assumed we were harmless =)


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## artandrevolution

*Widerstand wrote:*


> Nice signs! Which one worked best?




ha, well, quite possibly just giving Greece the finger might have been the quickest ride outta there by some mafia men, BUT the SLC god bless sign got 4 of us from Flagstaff to SLC in one day, all 4 of us (3 ladies, one dude, a puppy, and a violin) in the same rides all together.


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## Mouse

hitching in mini skirts? you gotta be fucking kidding me.


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## Grace

Ahahaha Mouse. I'll bet it worked wonders. Is it absolutely necessary to, as a female, hitch with someone else, be it a male or a female. Obviously these pics were taken in Europe. At least...I hope they were. I figure Europeans are probably way nicer about hitch hikers than Americans. It's just that they're going about 200 miles an hour--way too fast to read any cardboard.


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## Mouse

this may be true about europe, but I still wouldn't be caught dead trying to hitch rides in a mini skirt. even when I wear a tank top and jeans and smell like I shit myself I get perverts trying to buy sex from me. I just wouldn't risk it. 

maybe europe is a different beast, but I wouldn't try that in this neck of the woods.


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## finn

Europe is a completely different beast when it comes to hitchhiking. It's completely accepted, for one thing, no laws against it as far as I know.


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## Grace

Yeah I'm putting backpacking through Europe on my to-do list, but first I want to deal with America. Europe I've seen, and there's that language barrier thing that I can get past with some more study. But America is what really interests me...so many fucked up people/regions. So little time.


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## jack ransom

*Grace wrote:*


> Yeah I'm putting backpacking through Europe on my to-do list, but first I want to deal with America. Europe I've seen, and there's that language barrier thing that I can get past with some more study. But America is what really interests me...so many fucked up people/regions. So little time.



I know what you mean.
hitchhiking in America has forced me to confront the difference between what it means to be a good person and to have good ideas. I've had xenophobes, sexists, homophobes, racists (usually all of those things at once) bend over backwards for me and treat me like their fucking son. granted, I have the privilege of relatively white skin and an unambiguous male gender presentation which probably allows for friendliness. but still, for these reasons I've really enjoyed hitching a lot of the states. Rural America is in your face and real as fuck in its own dirt poor, culturally backwards kind of way, and being a teenaged kid from a one horse town doesn't grant me the opportunity of kicking it with uber-cultured, sophisticated Europeans on a daily or evenly monthly basis which I feel like keeps me grounded and in touch with a lot of beauty and a lot of filth at the same time. its kind of an important thing to experience, I feel like.

And I'd lose my shit if my partner (female) hitchhiked in a mini skirt (Europe or not), but if it worked for artandrevolution + her friend than who am I to comment on it? If they were comfortable with how it worked for them its might be a tactic worth considering.


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## Grace

Eh, I'd have to be pretty desperate for a ride and/or interested in receiving something else if I wore a short skirt on the side of some road in Bumblefuck US of A. As a tactic for getting picked up, I'm sure it works. As a tactic for not becoming later raped, well, it all depends really.


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## jamessheaj

yea i have a friend nate whenever he goes to france every summer him and his cousin just hitch all over europe


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## menu

I always try to keep it simple. largest city or just the hwy and direction desired. although usually people prolly dont even read the sign. I assume they know what you're doing when you're standing on the on-ramp. ya know? made it from portland to SF real quick with I-5 to 101 sign. simplicity is great


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## menu

haha. that is a good one.


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## desaparecido

"i'd pick you up."


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## veggieguy12

Hitchin' with a girlfriend, she'd hold the destination sign a few feet in front of me, and I'd hold the sign "I Ain't Killed Her Yet!"
Got a lot of smiles and laughs (even from cops), but still people passed us up. People just generally do not want to pick me up.


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## katiehabits

i usually write where i'm going like "west". or the city i'm trying to get too. one time i was hitching from calgary to edmonton with two of my friends & their two dogs & we had a sign that said "will pay $10 EDMONTON PLEASE!" we where only there for like 2 hours & we got a ride who was more than happy to give us & our two dogs a ride.


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## Raging Bird

"Jesus Would Help Me Out" works the best of anything I have ever used.
But then again, I travel almost exclusively in the South. 
Even if people won't pick you up, the sign stirs them to pull over and give me a few bucks.


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## rebequah

Hitchin out of Arcata we flew a sign saying "we dont stink" Little did the passing drivers know that i was wearing the clothes I was wearing when I had puked on myself a week and a half ago. Usually I like to fly " I'm going that way too...." then I mumble under my breathe curses at the passing cars with only a single rider.


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## Beegod Santana

"Christian in need" has gotten my ass out of a few bumfuck towns I'd never thought I'd escape in the mid-west and deep south. I always feel dirty when I do however and it always means that I'll have to bullshit about jesus for the whole ride, but damn does it work.

"I HAVE BEER!!" is my favorite sign of all time, it kinda locks into everyone's inner drunk, you'd just better have beer if you fly it. My friend used this sign to get from cresent city to SF one time when he had two PBR's on him. He got picked up by some dude who drank the beer, went and got a 30 rack, and then got my friend wasted all the way down to SF. He could barely walk when we met up with him.


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## veggieguy12

"Don't Be Paranoid"


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## iamwhatiam

inky said:


> i just hitched down the 101 too, from coos bay to san francisco. the two kids i was travelling with had a banjo and a washboard and every time we were waiting for a ride, they would just set up and play. we got rides so quickly, i felt bad that i was just holding the sign, but i think we looked like such bumpkins people assumed we were harmless =)



yea i have gotten many rides by just sittin down at the on ramp and pulling my guitar out and playing. also have had money, beer, and other stuff thrown at me by doin that.
yes "anywhere but here" or "the hell outta here" has worked where other signs have failed.


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## Angela

iamwhatiam said:


> yea i have gotten many rides by just sittin down at the on ramp and pulling my guitar out and playing. also have had money, beer, and other stuff thrown at me by doin that.



Musical instruments do seem to work wonders. My fiddle has gotten me many rides even though I don't play it that great.


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## Uncle Stinky

Instruments ARE great-- they're just a little cumbersome, but at times can LOSE you a ride due to space requirements (guitars with cases...).

I reserve the finger for the SWERVERS. Chickenshit motherfuckers.

The solo riders think they have alot to lose and nothing to gain from picking you up. Their minds aren't focused on humanity. 

Arrow, I've had people pick me up with their kids in the car. While I'm gratetful, I always wonder, "What the fuck are you thinkin'?"


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## sharks77

arrow, you're a badass


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## Angela

ArrowInOre said:


> I have also had family folk pick me up, and even though i am a female, I have also wondered what they were thinkin'. We could be anyone , for sure...



I've also had lots of folks with kids pick me up and even put me in the back seat with their kids. Yes I'm a woman and I guess I remind them more of someone's daughter than a potential serial killer but still I wonder what in the hell their thinking. Even the last couple of years when I've been traveling with a dog that's a bit overly protective I've had folks with kids pull over for me, it seems like my dog is more selective about who he wants to get in a vehicle with than alot of these folks.


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## Dameon

I don't see the problem with people who have kids picking hitchikers up. Obviously, their judgement was good, because presumably you didn't kill them. More importantly, they're teaching their children by example (the best way) that it's good to help people out, which is good for the hitchikers of the future. We have more reasons to be scared of the people driving than they have to be scared of us, statistically speaking.

As for signs, I almost never use them. I just stick my thumb out. Surprisingly effective, except that this country is either filled with jackasses who think putting their thumb out as they drive by is clever, or morons who think I'm hanging out by the road giving everybody the thumbs up as they drive by. I'm on the fence about it.


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## Geoff

ArrowInOre said:


> Just thought of a great one.."This Could Be Your Kid" -



i've seen similar signs for spanging. some girl in austin (i believe) was holding out a sign that said "what if i was your daughter". seemed to be successful.


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## Labea

ArrowInOre said:


> I'm thinking I have a fat fuckin knife in my car and I am a petty intimidating gal, so they are always fare warned that I will kill or destroy whoever tries anything stupid. Plus, the kid carries mace and also knows how to do a close up direct eye ball shot. Riders need to be aware of driver's child. I have no probs driving and pushing someone out either. Had to do it once before. I had picked up a young guy and his girlfriend.( this was back in AK and the kid was not with me this time. But he thought that was he gonna touch me and i warned him, "Try that once more and you'll walk the hard way. And your gal there will get to ride up front from there on out." So he waited about 60 miles down the road till he thought we had a connection grabbed my leg and made some bullshit off hand crack about him and her and me..., and a sailing he went on a slow (40mph) turn off and push...He looked so incredibly shocked that I was not kidding. I asked the girl if she wanted out too, she said, "Speed up, dudes a freak, I'm only 13...and thanks". We drank the bottle he'd had stashed in his gear and she got a new pack out of the deal. (cuz i never let any one put their gear in my car, trunk always. ) But see, I traveled for so many years before I was a mom, if there is any one parent out there that can tell when things are not good, it's a paranoid single mom that has 20 years road trippin' under her belt...Not that I had to defend my choices....but i understand the concern too. I have also had family folk pick me up, and even though i am a female, I have also wondered what they were thinkin'. We could be anyone , for sure...



in alaska? thats disappointing... were they from around here or what?


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## stove

"Toyko" worked great for me, getting from London up to Scotland and all around (both on Motorways and a few A/B backroads). I had a few old thumbs come up and ask "where are you really headed?" along with plenty of smiles, pointing, and laughter. The sadness came with the fact that a few did (and seemed honestly concerned) point out that I was headed in the wrong direction. Oh well...I'm settled for a few months, but plan on flying that baby again soon. We'll see how Montana likes it...


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## unbrokenxxgypsy

im trying "harmless" or "west" myself ill let ya know how it goes


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## dirty_rotten_squatter

Just have a good looking girl by your side you'll most likely get anywhere with any sign.


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## RebeccaSoup

thirtydollarbillyall said:


> "Jesus Would Help Me Out" works the best of anything I have ever used.
> But then again, I travel almost exclusively in the South.
> Even if people won't pick you up, the sign stirs them to pull over and give me a few bucks.



Hitching in the south means always kickdowns. I dont know how many people have been like.. "I cant give ya'll a ride, but heres 20$"

To be honest I'd rather have the ride.


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## KEVIlgeNius

"back to parents" or "miss my mommy" could probably get that older gen sympathy. or what about skills "i fix cars" or "road-mapper"
maybe literary reference "Kerouac is King"


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## Nym

I hitched from Shawnee, O.K to Lebanon, T.N. 
with a sign that said "To the Moon Batman!"
and surprisingly it worked!


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## Nym

dirty_rotten_squatter said:


> Just have a good looking girl by your side you'll most likely get anywhere with any sign.



haha
this i have learned is almost always true!
a decent looking chick is a wonder worker.


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## elokupa

somwhere in spain i flew a sign saying 'Oslo, Norway' which was like 2000 miles away. I didnt get a lift to norway but id did get one to the french border. i was actually trying to get to london not oslo haha


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## Ravie

haha well that might work. i kinda like the "what if i was your daughter" thing. it makes people think.


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## NickCofphee

From Palm Springs to Orange County. Smoked a lot before making that sign! Ok, ok, my friend drew it out. But I did color it in and put in the tacks.


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## Rise 609

Need a ride, please let me inside. Used that from Saracuse, NY to Burlington, VT. Worked great.


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## dirty_rotten_squatter

I was in S.F and was frustrated with the "anything helps" sign wasnt getting shit. So I wrote on the back "fuck you" and it was amazing at all the shit we got...pot food money, not change either bills. I thik this is the kind of thing that would only work in san francisco though, it was in the haight district. Not a hitching sign I know, but it worked quite well.


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## simpletoremember

When i was in sparks, nv trying to hitch out i flew a sign that said "don't let us die in sparks" we got a ride quick. But only to u.s. Parkway where we began to walk about 7 or 8 miles down i-80 until our next ride.


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## RebeccaSoup

Flew this week:

"Its not hitchhiking.
Its Carpooling."


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## roadbike

Possibly the sketchiest, but also one of the funniest signs I've ever used was with a partner coming back Edmonton last summer from Pride.

"TAKE US HOME WITH YOU!
TO CALGARY!"

Worked like a charm, but, rather than being picked up by super hot queers we got landed with a middle aged Conservative farmer who grew indigenous grasses and sold them to yuppies for their landscaping needs. Weird ride.


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## Ravie

"good company?"


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## Supertramp

Well, offering money isn't so successful. My pal squatter jake and i had a sign that said "EUGENE! we have 10$ for gas." and got picked up by a few rednecks who took us to the next small town on the road, respectively. After being dropped in the middle of fucking NOWHERE, OR, we walked for MILES, jake holding the sign and walking backward the whole time before a really sweet urban hippie couple picked us up and took us the 100 miles to Eugene, AND refused to take our money, so cheers to them :cheers:

I'll probably tell the whole story later


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## L.C.

i have faith in my good old thumb. im 6'3" 200 lbs so i think i intimidate alot of yuppies. i believe if some one wants to pick you up and help you get there they will. i think if i use signs like the classic 'not dangerous' people will think i'm pulling something. i once in a while will use a name of a city.


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## RideMoreTrains

i got picked up by a florida east coast worker, his wife, and kid once before just outside jacksonville. i sat up front with the husband and the wife and kid road in the back. i was surprised to see a family in the car when i looked in. funny thing was a guy turned me down right before that because his family was in the car, or else he would have given me a ride.


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## wartomods

Grace said:


> Ahahaha Mouse. I'll bet it worked wonders. Is it absolutely necessary to, as a female, hitch with someone else, be it a male or a female. Obviously these pics were taken in Europe. At least...I hope they were. I figure Europeans are probably way nicer about hitch hikers than Americans. It's just that they're going about 200 miles an hour--way too fast to read any cardboard.



they arent, and in europe is way more difficult to stereotype a person and thus understand his intentions.


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## Poe Boy

"Down Under"
Let me paint the picture, so you understand. I hobo'd about with a med ALICE pack, Carhartt pants and shirt, a Tilley broad-brimmed hat, and a walking stick. People actually believed I was an Aussie on an "American walkabout". Helps that I can do a passable Australian accent.

I picked out a few cities to memorize on a map of Australia and I'd tell them a load of shit about "walkabouts int he outback, from here to there". People ate that shit up. Family people loved me telling there kids stories, "outdoorsy" guys liked to shoot the shit about their adventures, and I got picked up by a lot of lone women, some of whom actually wanted me to go "down under".

The one I won't forget went like this:
Her: "You aren't going to rape me, are you?"
Me: [Aussie accent] "Not unless you ask me to."
Her: "Get in."


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## wartomods

and....


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## Poe Boy

. . .and. . .

I was a single, lonely heterosexual guy in my 20's. . .what do you think?

I WENT DOWN UNDER!!!!


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## Poe Boy

That sign got me picked up by a lot of, apparently, lonely women.
I don't know if it's because they figured I really was from another country, so there was no danger of getting caught cheating on their husbands, or if they just wanted some excitement.


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## Ivy League

rebequah said:


> Hitchin out of Arcata we flew a sign saying "we dont stink" Little did the passing drivers know that i was wearing the clothes I was wearing when I had puked on myself a week and a half ago. Usually I like to fly " I'm going that way too...." then I mumble under my breathe curses at the passing cars with only a single rider.



Dude I know how you feel, I live in Humboldt and I used to pick up hitchhikers when I still had a car, but yeah that first sign is always good to have. People always complaining "those damn smelly hippies" pfft, whatever man. But yeah I don't have a great sign idea as of yet, but when I was trying to go south of SF I just remember laughing at all the people mouthing the word south, and the assholes who laughed when they saw I had a peace sign up. Jerks....:club:


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## Ivy League

Nym said:


> I hitched from Shawnee, O.K to Lebanon, T.N.
> with a sign that said "To the Moon Batman!"
> and surprisingly it worked!



I honestly love that and after reading all of these, my friend Maddie and I have decided to use your sign for going south and the "this could be your kid" on the way back up north, because people around the bay area are not so nice about giving rides to people, those damn city slickers.


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## Ivy League

Poe Boy said:


> "Down Under"
> Let me paint the picture, so you understand. I hobo'd about with a med ALICE pack, Carhartt pants and shirt, a Tilley broad-brimmed hat, and a walking stick. People actually believed I was an Aussie on an "American walkabout". Helps that I can do a passable Australian accent.
> 
> I picked out a few cities to memorize on a map of Australia and I'd tell them a load of shit about "walkabouts int he outback, from here to there". People ate that shit up. Family people loved me telling there kids stories, "outdoorsy" guys liked to shoot the shit about their adventures, and I got picked up by a lot of lone women, some of whom actually wanted me to go "down under".
> 
> The one I won't forget went like this:
> Her: "You aren't going to rape me, are you?"
> Me: [Aussie accent] "Not unless you ask me to."
> Her: "Get in."



I love Aussies.....too bad, but I know how that is the story telling and the accents and everything. I once pretended I was a french/german girl, because I have a habit mixing my accents so I had to say something about it, and people believed me. It's always nice to pretend for a little while.


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## skunkpit

flew a sign once " Human evolution was probably a horrible mistake.." then an arrow pointing to me


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## Poe Boy

I've been thinking about flying a "Yes, I was the fastest sperm" sign. Doubt I'd get many rides, though, LOL.


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## Dirty Rig

My favorite's always been "At least I'm not a hippie."

But that usually gets me more cash than rides.


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## JonnyNothings

My fav. is "We'd Pick You Up"


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## RnJ

I just fly the next substantially sized destination and dance on the highway. Not sure it has gained me rides, but I've seen a lot of chuckles on people's faces as they pass by. I can only hope they will see hitchers as more fun than threatening.


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## gypsygirl

within the first week i was hitching we flew my favorite sign ever: 'putting off procrastination'
we got tons of smiles and puzzled looks. along with our 'west and wandering on' sign and a very colorful 'california please!'(make time;3hrs at denny's with crayons while it rained, fly time; 2minutes!) we got from denver to sacremento in no time!


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## RnJ

I don't think I've ever got a ride flying a joke.

In Cleveland, they didn't like the "West to Chicago for Ninja Skool"
In Sault St. Marie, they ignored my "Anywhere But Here!" and "Out of This Hole!"

I agree that the drivers that really want to help, will pull over and ask you where to, if nothing else. Several times, I've gotten the right ride before I even finished writing up a sign. It's almost disappointing when you been trying to make something nice, and it suddenly gets wasted.


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## RnJ

Forgot to talk about the time we used "Detroit, to record an album."
It worked -- after about 2 hours...of course, we then explained to our driver and passenger that we weren't recording an album at all. They didn't seem phased.

ArrowInOre, you've got some great stories. I'm always a fan of 'em. I have a car, but I try not to burn gas the way that most do, so I'm not on the highways much -- I have to say, I feel I should be driving more just so I can help out a few hitchers. It kinda makes me want to aimlessly patrol the highways.


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## genghis braun

getting from boston back down to FL, I made a sign that said, "Florida anything helps!" and it worked pretty good.


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## jojomnky

i hate to hitchike but when there's no other option i bust out the big thumb. the bigger the better. i think it makes people more comfortable. you get tons of smiles. it hasn't let me down yet.


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## logan714

ArrowInOre said:


> I tend to pick up hitchers, but there are things i have to be aware of too, for them and for my self. If there are two, one must be a girl and there has to be no packs or bags in my car, it all has to go in the trunk. Any dogs must sit in the front floor boards with the strongest of the two riders and they may not smoke in my car. The smokin thing is just common sense, the dog thing though. I usually have my kid with me. I would rather have the dog attack me in the front where i have control of the vehicle and the owner has better confinement of the dog. I will not allow any pets in the back seat, that is my kid safe place, ya know... HOWEVER>>> I also hated it when a driver with more than one empty seat would;d rather leave me out there in the rain than save my ass from a cold...The finger was hard to not flash occasionally. I got the finger the other day, and stopped, reversed and said look, "Been there done that, I have a kid in here, otherwise i would have, but now, I know your face and from here, you can walk...He apologized and waved as i pulled off. Curses under his breath were mostly likely what i would have heard, but I had to make my point to at least one raised middle finger...It gets more understandable from all angels once you have been in them all..ya know... Have a great New years, and may all of our signs be good...





ArrowInOre

I find your attitude about hitchhikers entirely strange. The only thing I can think of coming from a person who has been out on the road and has facial tattoos is that you've got poor karma, or you're paranoid. Oh, I'm a father. I'm 45 and have two kids. IN your road skills that you acquired on the road, you didn't learn how to read a persons vibe in like 5 seconds. I stop and pick up people whenever I can even if I have the kids with me and so does my wife. 

If I see somebody hitchin I immediately go to my inner sences and say "hey, what do I feel?" If I feel great, I stop and immediately give them a ride. If I don't know, I'll stop and talk to them for a second. And sometimes when I have money and I'm not going anywhere I'll pull over and slip them five bucks. 

I just think of how many times I've been on the road and some nice person has made my day, week or month by showing a little kindness. And you know what all these people that showed me a little kindness just asked me to pass it on. And I do keep doing it. I don't care if they're a chick, a dude, whatever. The only people I don't stop for is people with pitbulls because I don't like pittbulls. Their idiot dogs. But that's not because I'm paranoid of the person, it's the dog I don't trust. And also, the 110 lb little girl with a 120 lb pittbull, there's no way she can control it. 

Logan


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## SpaceCadet

In response, I've hitched a lot and have had a lot of women pick me up. Although I am gracious that they did, I always think "What if I was a creep and she just picked me up. She'd be fucked". I pick up hitch hikers, regardless, unless they have a dog. But to say that I would want my old lady with my daughter pick up a hitch hiker, you, my friend, are fucking nuts.

If I pick up a hitch hiker and the person decides to rob me, or whatever, I can handle my own. My old lady, as tough as she is, is still only 5 feet tall weighing in just under 110 pounds. She wouldn't be able to fend off a 6 foot tall male. And then put my daughter in the car? Fuck that, that's not paranoia, that's using your fucking brain. I would never put my daughter in danger and if you are picking up hitch hikers with your kids in the car, I wish them luck.


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## Avon Drunquist

I've never used any sign other than my destination


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## logan714

SpaceCadet said:


> In response, I've hitched a lot and have had a lot of women pick me up. Although I am gracious that they did, I always think "What if I was a creep and she just picked me up. She'd be fucked". I pick up hitch hikers, regardless, unless they have a dog. But to say that I would want my old lady with my daughter pick up a hitch hiker, you, my friend, are fucking nuts.
> 
> If I pick up a hitch hiker and the person decides to rob me, or whatever, I can handle my own. My old lady, as tough as she is, is still only 5 feet tall weighing in just under 110 pounds. She wouldn't be able to fend off a 6 foot tall male. And then put my daughter in the car? Fuck that, that's not paranoia, that's using your fucking brain. I would never put my daughter in danger and if you are picking up hitch hikers with your kids in the car, I wish them luck.



my wife is 5'8 160 lb and x us army and can handle her self

as for the rest of it as i said its the vibe. But i have been on foot all through C.A. and south central LA and never hade a probalm + have been in this life(ie on the road) since '77 where I have been and who I know is enough to stop shit most of the time and my friends know my old lady then there is the old PPK/S

l


----------



## oldmanLee

Best one I ever made:
" North and West"
"Scintilating Conversation"
"Valid Licence"
"NOT A PERV"
(unless asked nicely)
Picked up a 1200 miler in less than 30 min. off that one.


----------



## RnJ

oldmanLee said:


> Best one I ever made:
> " North and West"
> "Scintilating Conversation"
> "Valid Licence"
> "NOT A PERV"
> (unless asked nicely)
> Picked up a 1200 miler in less than 30 min. off that one.



Wow, I love this one. I swear there is a psychological science to hitching signs. There has to be, even if we never figure it out. I think researching it, collecting data and interpolating it, would make a great psychology thesis, and in a few years a seminal source to cite:

Brandt et al.. 2009. Roadside Carpooling and the Psychology of Appearance and Signs: A dataset. Hobo's Press, Oregon USA.


----------



## sprout

"Will Ride in Trunk" for comedic value.

But mostly I just fly a boring old sign with the name of my destination.


----------



## hartage

logan714 said:


> ArrowInOre
> 
> I find your attitude about hitchhikers entirely strange. The only thing I can think of coming from a person who has been out on the road and has facial tattoos is that you've got poor karma, or you're paranoid. Oh, I'm a father. I'm 45 and have two kids. IN your road skills that you acquired on the road, you didn't learn how to read a persons vibe in like 5 seconds. I stop and pick up people whenever I can even if I have the kids with me and so does my wife.
> 
> If I see somebody hitchin I immediately go to my inner sences and say "hey, what do I feel?" If I feel great, I stop and immediately give them a ride. If I don't know, I'll stop and talk to them for a second. And sometimes when I have money and I'm not going anywhere I'll pull over and slip them five bucks.
> 
> I just think of how many times I've been on the road and some nice person has made my day, week or month by showing a little kindness. And you know what all these people that showed me a little kindness just asked me to pass it on. And I do keep doing it. I don't care if they're a chick, a dude, whatever. The only people I don't stop for is people with pitbulls because I don't like pittbulls. Their idiot dogs. But that's not because I'm paranoid of the person, it's the dog I don't trust. And also, the 110 lb little girl with a 120 lb pittbull, there's no way she can control it.
> 
> Logan



So what's your point ? That people aren't allowed to decide for themselves what they will or will not do ? Or is your point that you are just holier-than-thou just because you and you wife will pick up hitchers no matter what ?

I pick up hitchers and I don't have kids does that mean I should bash others for not being the same ? Hey, do what you want in YOUR car. What people do in their own car is up to them. 

Arrow has helped a bunch of people and has ran a weigh station for travelers passing through her neck of the woods. She has neither bad karma nor is she paranoid.


----------



## Ready Freddy

In california going North "HELLA NORTH" is a good one. but i always get success with the "Please!" at the bottom of the sign and a big smile. Plus i travel with Cowboy Perl Button up shirt Specifically for hitch hiking, i don't wear it on trains, only hitching.


----------



## logan714

hartage said:


> So what's your point ? That people aren't allowed to decide for themselves what they will or will not do ? Or is your point that you are just holier-than-thou just because you and you wife will pick up hitchers no matter what ?
> 
> I pick up hitchers and I don't have kids does that mean I should bash others for not being the same ? Hey, do what you want in YOUR car. What people do in their own car is up to them.
> 
> Arrow has helped a bunch of people and has ran a weigh station for travelers passing through her neck of the woods. She has neither bad karma nor is she paranoid.




did i say bad? No just strange do you know what that means ? it was not a putdown.I come from a different generation than she does and fuck the dumb shit My wife was in the Army she knows how shoot. if it came down to it + if she don't like the vibe she will pass-up some one 
but if i see you hich hikeing here I'lll just pass you up you can sit here for 2 days trying to get a ride What do i care?

also i have a way station here and you should see some of my wife's sewing

my wife is on her way to getting a PHD What are you doing?


----------



## RnJ

I side with the "taking personal risks" school over the "taking familial risks" school. Simply because I believe in taking care of your own family first (because a good family has an element of commitment and security). That's not to say I wouldn't EVER pick someone up with my kid along, but I'd be more wary than I have been thus far, and ask the child if he minded picking someone up.

By the way, has anyone read The Glass Castle yet? It's on my list...


----------



## Puddles

RnJ said:


> I just fly the next substantially sized destination and dance on the highway. Not sure it has gained me rides, but I've seen a lot of chuckles on people's faces as they pass by. I can only hope they will see hitchers as more fun than threatening.




That is one of my favorites. I've always had fun, most of the rides were real cool people too. 




The coolest was OH. We flew on a ramp in a fairly yuppieish area. "don't want us here either", not one we held on to. Saw all sorts of roomy vehicles with one driver..the people that did get us had a compact four seater, a couple and their two kids..they squeezed two of us, the dog and our shit and drove us down past their exit.


----------



## Puddles

logan714 said:


> ArrowInOre
> 
> I find your attitude about hitchhikers entirely strange. The only thing I can think of coming from a person who has been out on the road and has facial tattoos is that you've got poor karma, or you're paranoid. Oh, I'm a father. I'm 45 and have two kids. IN your road skills that you acquired on the road, you didn't learn how to read a persons vibe in like 5 seconds. I stop and pick up people whenever I can even if I have the kids with me and so does my wife.
> 
> If I see somebody hitchin I immediately go to my inner sences and say "hey, what do I feel?" If I feel great, I stop and immediately give them a ride. If I don't know, I'll stop and talk to them for a second. And sometimes when I have money and I'm not going anywhere I'll pull over and slip them five bucks.
> 
> I just think of how many times I've been on the road and some nice person has made my day, week or month by showing a little kindness. And you know what all these people that showed me a little kindness just asked me to pass it on. And I do keep doing it. I don't care if they're a chick, a dude, whatever. The only people I don't stop for is people with pitbulls because I don't like pittbulls. Their idiot dogs. But that's not because I'm paranoid of the person, it's the dog I don't trust. And also, the 110 lb little girl with a 120 lb pittbull, there's no way she can control it.
> 
> Logan







For the most part the vibe is the best. You just know. As for picking up others, i feel better if they have a pack, but it normally doesn't bother me either way. I also try not to get too pissed when a car full of little ones shoot me down. On that note, single mothers driving alone are always picking me up, I generally travel with another person too.

Then the pitt thing, man there is a bond between a traveler and their dog. You just have to be the dominate. To my dog, I know she could fuck me up if she wanted, but she trusts me and listens because we are, to her, a pack. 

That and I really have to defend the pitt. I'm tired of people loving other breeds that are known for a bad rep, and turning around to sign off the life of somebody else's bad named pup. Shit, chow's freak the hell outta me, but I don't want the breed gone. I just try harder to be comfortable around them. It's not the dog's fault it's alive, just like it's not a person's fault that they are.


----------



## logan714

makin'puddles said:


> For the most part the vibe is the best. You just know. As for picking up others, i feel better if they have a pack, but it normally doesn't bother me either way. I also try not to get too pissed when a car full of little ones shoot me down. On that note, single mothers driving alone are always picking me up, I generally travel with another person too.
> 
> Then the pitt thing, man there is a bond between a traveler and their dog. You just have to be the dominate. To my dog, I know she could fuck me up if she wanted, but she trusts me and listens because we are, to her, a pack.
> 
> That and I really have to defend the pitt. I'm tired of people loving other breeds that are known for a bad rep, and turning around to sign off the life of somebody else's bad named pup. Shit, chow's freak the hell outta me, but I don't want the breed gone. I just try harder to be comfortable around them. It's not the dog's fault it's alive, just like it's not a person's fault that they are.




Its not pits as per se it's some of the idiot asshole billies that own them. I've never heard of two blue healer/dalmation mixes going on a rampage and killing a child on a public sidewalk as an example. The Blue Healer/Dalmation is what i have. 

I know it's the owner, not the breed, but too many ignorant piece of shit motherfuckers who want to be billy bad ass "say I'll get 120 lb pitbull and I'll be bad." Hell, most of them can't even control themselves so how in the hell are they going to control a VERY high maintenance dog? How are they going to afford the shot? Where are they going to get the right collar and the right lead when they have to spange for a cheap 30 pack? That's my view. 

My dog lets me know if somebody is there. That's all I need. I've met very few people in life that have lived with a pitbull it's full natural lifespan and related to the dog very well and the dog was a very well mannered, gentle, loving, "baby cakes" essentially at 128 lbs. But he had is quarks too. You could tell in his eyes when he didn't like something REAL fast. 

That's all. And my last experience has been with ignorant hillbilly mother fuckers that play the "I got a pitbull I'm a bad ass" game with them. And in the back of my mind I think, do I have to kill this dog in 3 seconds? and then take the owner and shove his head up his ass? I don't like thinking like a convict anymore, assessing threats and being prepared to react to them in a second. I'd rather have a safe environment where the worst I've got to worry about is whether or not I'm going to stub my toe getting up for beer.

Logan


----------



## hartage

logan714 said:


> did i say bad? No just strange do you know what that means ? it was not a putdown.I come from a different generation than she does and fuck the dumb shit My wife was in the Army she knows how shoot. if it came down to it + if she don't like the vibe she will pass-up some one
> but if i see you hich hikeing here I'lll just pass you up you can sit here for 2 days trying to get a ride What do i care?
> 
> also i have a way station here and you should see some of my wife's sewing
> 
> my wife is on her way to getting a PHD What are you doing?



Wife this and wife that. I guess SHE is YOUR version of a 120lb pitbull your walking around the block ? 

"my wife is on her way to getting a PHD. What are you doing ? "

Ah..... just what I expected, more holier-than-thou or rather " I'm (She's) better than you " attitude. 

Alright, I admit it, you are far more of a saint than I am. You will risk your family/kids/wife more so than I will ever do. There now, do you feel better ?

By the way my point isn't what you do or what Arrow does. It was simply this. WHERE THE HELL DO YOU GET OFF ON CRAPPING ON OTHER PEOPLE ? Just for not doing what you choose to do, or not giving enough help ? What your doing is simply making yourself feel better at the expense of others.

You wanna crap on someone go crap on some conservative republicans that won't pick up hitchhikers at all. Don't sit there and crap on Arrow for not doing things enough to YOUR standards. Arrow does plenty for our people and community. She certainly does not deserve any crap from you or anybody else for her level of participation in and help given to the community.


----------



## logan714

hartage said:


> Wife this and wife that. I guess SHE is YOUR version of a 120lb pitbull your walking around the block ?
> 
> "my wife is on her way to getting a PHD. What are you doing ? "
> 
> Ah..... just what I expected, more holier-than-thou or rather " I'm (She's) better than you " attitude.
> 
> Alright, I admit it, you are far more of a saint than I am. You will risk your family/kids/wife more so than I will ever do. There now, do you feel better ?
> 
> By the way my point isn't what you do or what Arrow does. It was simply this. WHERE THE HELL DO YOU GET OFF ON CRAPPING ON OTHER PEOPLE ? Just for not doing what you choose to do, or not giving enough help ? What your doing is simply making yourself feel better at the expense of other
> 
> 
> in my view I did not carp on her It's not better or worse it's just different
> 
> You wanna crap on someone go crap on some conservative republicans that won't pick up hitchhikers at all. Don't sit there and crap on Arrow for not doing things enough to YOUR standards. Arrow does plenty for our people and community. She certainly does not deserve any crap from you or anybody else for her level of participation in and help given to the community.




different ages I'm 46 in a few days Different comments That all As for my wife and pit bull Bro Ive done time in San Quintin I can handle my business

not better of worse I can show you where you can go to school to learn just about anything and live in a nice place if that what you want to do I hope everyone learns a trade It is easy If i did anyone can I started with nothing 

If we don't take care of etch other Who the fuck will?? I want to see everyone have succeeds in life I went from shooting dope in the mission district on the streets to a good life I hope everyone can

would you like to come down and check it out? Every one that helped me out said just pass it back to someone that need it and i was in the gutter so i do take the deat
I have to the people that helpes me too hart

If your pissed at me I'm sorry you are But I'm a really good person to have as a friend been in this trip since '77 so i know the ropes and how to do some things Fuck bro I should be dead .Most of my friends are

logan:crew:


----------



## hartage

logan714 said:


> different ages I'm 46 in a few days Different comments That all As for my wife and pit bull Bro Ive done time in San Quintin I can handle my business
> 
> not better of worse I can show you where you can go to school to learn just about anything and live in a nice place if that what you want to do I hope everyone learns a trade It is easy If i did anyone can I started with nothing
> 
> If we don't take care of etch other Who the fuck will?? I want to see everyone have succeeds in life I went from shooting dope in the mission district on the streets to a good life I hope everyone can
> 
> would you like to come down and check it out? Every one that helped me out said just pass it back to someone that need it and i was in the gutter so i do take the deat
> I have to the people that helpes me too hart
> 
> If your pissed at me I'm sorry you are But I'm a really good person to have as a friend been in this trip since '77 so i know the ropes and how to do some things Fuck bro I should be dead .Most of my friends are
> 
> logan:crew:



Eh, I did come off as pissed didn't I ? That was not my intention. I just know Arrow to be a good person that goes out of her way to help others. I didn't think she deserved to be told that she somehow has bad karma, she does not. 

Hey it's great that you are able to turn your life around from where you were. If you are willing and able to return the help given to you by helping others all the better. We are all on the same side here. We all help each other the best we can. Alright, enough of my tirade about this. Hopefully if you see me on the side of the road somewhere in NM you'll still take pitty on my sorry ass and give me a lift.


----------



## logan714

hartage said:


> Eh, I did come off as pissed didn't I ? That was not my intention. I just know Arrow to be a good person that goes out of her way to help others. I didn't think she deserved to be told that she somehow has bad karma, she does not.
> 
> Hey it's great that you are able to turn your life around from where you were. If you are willing and able to return the help given to you by helping others all the better. We are all on the same side here. We all help each other the best we can. Alright, enough of my tirade about this. Hopefully if you see me on the side of the road somewhere in NM you'll still take pitty on my sorry ass and give me a lift.




I can give you my phone # if you get stuck around here you can give me a call and come get you You can do your laundry make some calls anywhere you want Get on line and we like food here so we can feed you a spread Also we have a king size futon in the liveroom so you can lay back and watch first run movies in the liveing room on the flat screen 

logan


----------



## hartage

logan714 said:


> I can give you my phone # if you get stuck around here you can give me a call and come get you You can do your laundry make some calls anywhere you want Get on line and we like food here so we can feed you a spread Also we have a king size futon in the liveroom so you can lay back and watch first run movies in the liveing room on the flat screen
> 
> logan



That's fantastic of you to offer that, above and beyond what I expected. I just might take you up on that. Hey I'm in san diego. I can't offer you (or anybody) a weigh station right now. But if you and your family are in my neck of the woods let me know ( I'll pm you my cell). I can at least be a tour guide and show you around my area.


----------



## RnJ

This is a Disney ending. I like it.


----------



## The Cheshire

Through all of Norcal "ASHLAND" was great I made good time, but usually just directional.


----------



## Dirty Rig

Got the idea for this one from STP. Didn't get us a ride, but we did have one guy pull over and say, "My daughter called me and said she saw you boys. Tokyo, huh? That's pretty far. Can't give you a ride, I'm just going to the next exit, but here's a couple bucks." Thanks for the cash, brianiac haha


----------



## Rstank

"i like to cuddle"


----------



## FilXeno

I just use directional signs usually.
I thought about holding a 
'Can't use thumb' under those crossed out thumbs street signs you see on On-ramps.


----------



## Loaf

"Pick me up, I am a republican, christian, NRA member, Free Mason, etc... I won't kill you."


----------



## Gypsybones

once I made a sine with captain crunch. (I dont eat it and the box was fucked up.)
I dont have a pic but I'l do it again cause its funny as hell.

I ripped the box open glued the box and some of the cereal to the cardboard like it was bleeding. made a fake knife and had the words "I'm not a cereal killer, give me a lift" on it.


----------



## FuckYeah

met up with some kids i had met previously. we were all hitchin 101 north, posting for rides together, but not adamant about getting rides in the same car. we flew a sign that said "FREE HITCHHIKERS, PLEASE TAKE ONE" ended up getting a ride from willits all the way up to arcata in the back of a pickup truck full of pears. it was awesome.


----------



## barnaclebones

"Your backseat is lonely! Whitecliffs, please."


----------



## RnJ

FuckYeah said:


> met up with some kids i had met previously. we were all hitchin 101 north, posting for rides together, but not adamant about getting rides in the same car. we flew a sign that said "FREE HITCHHIKERS, PLEASE TAKE ONE" ended up getting a ride from willits all the way up to arcata in the back of a pickup truck full of pears. it was awesome.



Did you have a pear? I once rode with some dudes with a contraption on their truckbox that was piled above the level of their cab with mangosteens, which are nearly to die for. I was too thankful for the ride to ask for one...plus the language barrier was pretty significant. Next time I totally would ask. What's one piece of fruit??





An inner-mouth explosion, that's what!


----------



## Dirty Rig

FuckYeah said:


> "FREE HITCHHIKERS, PLEASE TAKE ONE"



haha thats cute


----------



## hg14

Dirty Rig > i still cant get over the Tokyo sign, :applaud:


----------



## christianarchy

me and my lady were just trying to get up this giant hill in this redneck town in WA while i had a broken leg, and despite my crutches and beautiful lady no one picked us up. it was ridiculous. 
for future travels i'm thinking about taking crutches and just having a sign that says "seriously??" for my partner to hold up as i hobble along (slowly of course) on crutches. although it might look like some sort of weird trap too..
anyone pulled the sympathy card and faked a injury for a quick ride?
not sure if the idea is great or shit.

i've seen "free hitchhikers" before, is probably my favorite.


----------



## hg14

some people have no sympathy for us hitchers huh


----------



## BananaPhuck

I was coming north out of Ashland and decided to walk I-5. I didn't have a sign, so I was using my thumb, and then a mile down the road I found a skim board (like for the beach) in the ditch. I have no idea why it would be there. I simply wrote "NORTH" and bunged it to my pack. Got several rides out of it, including Grants Pass to Eugene.

I actually have it sitting next to my pack right now.


----------



## bfalk420




----------



## smellsea

"won't kill you" - joe dirt.


----------



## xmaggotx

"pick me up and you can drive in the carpool lane"...obviously too many words for most signs but its a funny idea


----------



## veggieguy12

xmaggotx said:


> "pick me up and you can drive in the carpool lane"...obviously too many words for most signs but its a funny idea



Yeah, that's not a bad idea. Have to shorten it, maybe
" U S E
CARPOOL LN.
w/ ME "
or just the top two lines/

I just got a couple rides out of a
"60 mi. 
PLEASE"
sign, which I think it pretty damn good, and which seemed to be successful.
People going 30mi or 40mi or 75mi or 200mi can pick you up, it's only an hour (or less) of their drive (though they might well let you continue on as far as they go), _and_ you can just keep using it, never need to make a new sign.


----------



## AshMash

Dirty Rig said:


> Got the idea for this one from STP. Didn't get us a ride, but we did have one guy pull over and say, "My daughter called me and said she saw you boys. Tokyo, huh? That's pretty far. Can't give you a ride, I'm just going to the next exit, but here's a couple bucks." Thanks for the cash, brianiac haha




Haha my boy, a friend and I hitched from SLO, CA to Big Sur and back down to the Bay with a sign that read "Tokyo".
You would not believe the smiles we got. And the random beer. And money. And some of the best rides ever.
It's, so far, my favorite sign.
We also got the idea from StP.


----------



## JayJayOnTheFly

usually i just put where im going this and "fishing" always serve me well i think the longest i waited was like 40 mins prolly a lil less ppl reallly love the fishing thing its funny as helll


----------



## PFAT

dirty_rotten_squatter said:


> Just have a good looking girl by your side you'll most likely get anywhere with any sign.



Ha it doesn't even have to be a good lookin' girl.


----------



## nitepeepole

where ever with a little please at the bottom gets me where i need to go. most days i make time faster than google maps says you can drive to where ever it is im going


----------



## spidermonkey

i was riding BNSF in montana when i was still inexperienced, having gotten off at the siding on the west side of the bridge in Cut Bank thinking it was shelby....i had to walk across that bridge and hitch to shelby....after several hours with no ride i made a new sign that had only a question mark on it {?} really big and bold...got a ride to shelby within minutes of flyin it...and hung onto it for awhile after that, used the ole 'question mark' a few other times, both for rides and cash, and always got the ride quickly or made the cash quickly.

the people that stoped for someone that 'doesnt seem to know what they want' were always over the top, let me tell you

btw, in case you've never ridden the hi-line and dont know that bridge, most folks dont feel safe when RIDING over that bridge on a train, let alone walking it....there were boards falling from beneath my feet and they fell so far that they were specks by the time they hit the river....hahaha....


----------



## scamp

My favorite signs I ever flew was around christmas time, The first one I was trying to get to quartzsite az and I had a sign that said "going ho ho home for christmas" with christmas drawing all over it everyone and there mother wanted to buy me greyhound bus tickets 
The second one I made after the other one got lost when we squatted in the desert was
"Need a ride to the north pole to kick santa's ass!" nobody really liked that one....


----------



## HillBilly

"ALDERON - TO LEARN THE WAYS OF THE FORCE" cause Iam a nerd

and

"PICK ME UP, I SMOKE YOU UP" this works really well and potheads make for interesting rides


----------



## thenomad

I haven't had much luck with signs... I get picked up a lot if I'm walking, then when I hear a car approaching, I turn around, smile, and give them the ol' thumb.


----------



## eataapple

when i was in Reno the ramp i was at was near a strip club so i flew a sign that said" i won't tell your wife if you pick me up please" and it was great got some great laughs and a ride out of it. then if i am in a Stoner area i use" magic cigs for a ride please?" and that tends to work for me pretty well but for the most part i stick to " anywhere but here" or the direction i want to head.


----------



## ayron

ive got a few..

"mars"

"off to never land"

"you know you want to"

but my all time favorite is to have a nice big sign with nothing on it, everyone does a double take in confusion


----------



## Panoramicperspective

I Figure the straight up destination works fairly well

If it's an interstate i'm trying to get to from a more inland route (ex ) 441 Okkeechobe FL to I95

Write I and then a big ass 95 underneath it

I've tried catchy phrases before and they're just too long for people to read clearly 

I'm thinking i need a bigger marker next time as well

---I lost my sign once flying it along a rainy road and a very nice business man who was just opening shop supplied me with a marker and cardboard

Sweet deal when people bring out their heartsd


----------



## Panoramicperspective

haha, cereal killer, - > totally classic


----------



## AshMash

I totally got a shit ton of rides with a Tokyo sign. Most of it was in Northern California.
It didn't matter if people didn't stop to pick us up, most just smiled at us or gave us beer or something. Fun as fuck.


----------



## AshMash

RnJ said:


> By the way, has anyone read The Glass Castle yet? It's on my list...


 
I have definitely read 'The Glass Castle' and it's fucking awesome. I totally suggest it to anyone.
It's not entirely about traveling but it is really badass.


----------



## Murf

Ive gotten rides with 
"Too skinny to rape"
"I have hella weed"
"PA or..well anything really"
and twice with just the thumb.

"I've got hella weed" works the best by far , just make sure you got some bud.


----------



## coolguyeagle76'

stand on your head and hold your big toe out.


----------



## BanMatt

View attachment 9066

Didnt fly this one but I left it for whoever hitched the spot I was at

annnd this one was made stuck somewhere in WA. 
View attachment 9067
thats a melted gummy worm. it actually got us a ride too.


----------



## creativitysucks

Hmm, I've always gone with the name of the next biggest city or the next state. Sometimes I just fly the name of the highway I'm on, though that tends to be pretty slow. My favorite is and will always be 'NIRVANA' - you find some of the most interesting people that way


----------



## Sandbeard

Personal favorite whilst hitching in europe

"Alaska" 

got me to Amsterdamn and back pretty quick


----------



## gingerbreadman

the best one i used said "stranded", but i think for my next trip ill try "WWJD"


----------



## dharma bum

"mama said there'd be days like this" has always been a good one. i like the funnier, more clever one's though. they seem to work better for me.


----------



## Wild Ty Laserbeam

wwjd is a classic. I was hitching in a group of 4 for some reason and we made 4 signs that all went together like:
"take us" "2" "Dallas" "please"
"2" "Loooo" "ooong view" "please"

We also flew one that said "so damn hot"


----------



## RnJ

WWJD never worked for me. Neither did Alaska/Japan/Tokyo. The only things that people admitted caught their attention was a smile face, and "Anywhere but here."


----------



## Cade

I've thought it would be funny to fly a sign that read, "Want 2 Fuck?" Even though that might attract the wrong type of crowd you were looking for, but a bus load of single, college aged women/men may stop.


----------



## agony

thumb!!


----------



## andthesaloon

"Don't Litter.
We're Trash.
Pick Us Up!" Has worked very well for us in the past.


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## blackcoffee

"fuck you" "that truck stop" "we arn't jerks" "just showered" "feel better about yourself" playing banjo usually does a better job then any sign!


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## trystero

i won't kill you...i promise


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## deleted2648

The last one I used was *'' NOT A HOOKER ''*. Got an awesome ride from Flagstaff to San Diego after a few seconds of waiting.


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## andthesaloon

The one we did today was "Jesus Would Have Pick Us Up". We got picked up immediately.


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## Keith Khaos

anyplace but here allways works


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## Uncle Mom

Jesus would give us a ride on his donkey.


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## hazmatMatthew666

my favorite has always been: i dont have a gun, on the back it says just kidding


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## supersaiyanjesus

My sign idea that I will hopefully fly one day

"captain planet, he's our hero!"


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## spoonreceptacle

In the prairies, "Rhymes with Vagina"


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## Eden

Draw a picture of a thumb.


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## BrainDeadUnit

I thought of a sign in the shower, "Got Karma?"


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## dahllia

i know some kids who were flying "we'd pick you up" on an on ramp and they got scooped pretty quick i thought it was clever
i havent tried it but ive been wanting to


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## spoonreceptacle

i once saw a man in his 50s hitching with a white shirt covered in red blood stains that said "KILL"in black lettering. No sign. You'd have to have a good sense of humour to pick that guy up. 

I've always done the general direction such as EAST, WEST or ANYWHERE


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## dahllia

HAHA wow thats really funny i wonder how long it took him to get picked up


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## 1544c

i used a sign that said "we won't kill you" as well. i got a ride from a stripper!


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## Animus

My fav is prolly. "I might not bite"


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## Dirty Rig

"DON'T LET ME DIE IN ___(town name)___"

this sign has always worked, but i try not to abuse its luck. i'll only bust this out if i've had 4+ days of straight bad hitching


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## steelcitybrew

Hahaha


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## Dirty Rig

"IT AIN'T THE '60'S NO MORE" has roped in a couple old-timers who always seem to be eager to share their weed. "AT LEAST WE'RE NOT HIPPIES" gets some fun college-kids rides as well.


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## Crisss

Im def trying the wwjd. 
or something along those lines.


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## hamikman

When I used to hitch a lot I would write the name of a big city in a continent that I wasn't in. In Australia I would hold a sign that would say "Amsterdam" etc. Made people laugh or wonder wtf and I'd get rides a lot. Kinda breaks the ice without having to say a word.


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## hamikman

hazmatMatthew666 said:


> my favorite has always been: i dont have a gun, on the back it says just kidding


 Good one. Do you write "just kidding backwards" for thier mirror?


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## Eadoin

next im going to try is "GOTHAM CITY"


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## Puckett

thirtydollarbillyall said:


> "Jesus Would Help Me Out" works the best of anything I have ever used.
> But then again, I travel almost exclusively in the South.
> Even if people won't pick you up, the sign stirs them to pull over and give me a few bucks.



i would have a sign that said Jesus was a travler too. it worked really good


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## wehavethemap

yeah if you are a girl or are hitching with one, you'll get a ride real fast
I'd pick you up, thats always good


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## wehavethemap

"FUCK YOU YOU FUCKIN FUCK"


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## Unslap

"I have oreos!"


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## chaosfactorxx

I've flown "I got stories." which got us pretty decent rides.
But i've always wanted to fly "don't make me walk!" and see if it worked.


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## L.C.

We Got Beer!!! works well in dry counties, or in states that don't sell booze on Sundays. I think I got the idea somewhere on here, but couldn't find the post again. Well props to whoever posted it, it works like a charm. P.S. It's a good idea to have some booze when they pick you up, or you got some explaining to do!


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## embleerrah

Clit Comander said:


> we always will fly a sign that just says the next biggest city.
> one of my rod dogs knows a guy who got a hitching thumb tattooed on the inside of his arm. so he justs walks backwards with his arm out.


honestly, I've found one of the biggest challenges, is that people don't have enough time to respond, and by the time they decide to pick you up, it's too late, and they're down the road.


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## barefootinbabylon

'NOT AN AX MURDERER'. Was stuck in Tucumcari, NM for a goood long while, so I made up that sign. Literally 5 minutes later, our ride across the whole blessed state shows up. He said he hadn't even read the sign, though, but... 'twas good.


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## SeanLocks

your sign may vary but I always put a smiley face on it. Seems more welcoming. And I always try and seem not threatening with my body language. Smiling, throwing up a peace sign, or even the devil horns if ya see a fellow metalhead or punk driving by. My fav quote is "free hug for ride anywhere"


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## Pheonix

hitching south from Rockford,IL with a sign "Trying to get to Normal" got me down to Bloomington/Normal.


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## Dead horse

"I <3 Kittens"


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## dylann

"tight butthole" made some laughs, but may attract some weirdo's got me some rides though


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## Dead horse

Eadoin said:


> next im going to try is "GOTHAM CITY"


 Someone should put "Mordor" on a sign lol


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## dharma bum

just flying a sign saying "provolone" got me all kinds of food and cash. thanx billly joe.


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## ABC

*2 ∞ &*
*BEYOND!*

- or - 

∞

(For short)


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## FLoP

I couldn't buy a ride out of jax one day. I counted 550 cars go buy. I was holding a $5 and the sign was 95 south. Finally a guy I noticed in the city earlier that day (he was blaring metal) picked me up. In Tallahassee I had one of those cardboard boxes that breaks down and opens up to be like 6 feet long. I JUST NEED A RIDE!! Got picked up pretty quick after I changed to that. I got $10, bread, and ham and a two hour ride. But I usually just hook a sign to my bag with my destination and start walking. I could stand around for six hours or walk for the same amount and get somewhere.


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## eurekascastle

Mouse said:


> hitching in mini skirts? you gotta be fucking kidding me.


 that's just asking for a gang bang.


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## eurekascastle

depending on which direction you're headed i like west(or whatever) bound and down loaded up and truckin'!


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## REDYELLOWBLUE

"Maybe im jesus?"

"Just got rid of all my PCP"

"Google maps can eat a dick"

"Alderaan"


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## outskirts

1544c said:


> i used a sign that said "we won't kill you" as well. i got a ride from a stripper!


I got a ride from a drunk stripper once, I wasn't flying a sign just had my thumb out.


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## Driftwhistler

Totally unoriginal, but: Every time you don't pick up a hitchhiker, a kitten dies.


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## dharmabum

standing on I-40 at Flagstaff AZ for about an hour. another hitcher shows up - looks at all the cardboard signs strewn all over.
picks up one saying MARS. started flying it and we had a ride within 5 minutes. the driver had the punchline - she said "well, I'm not going THAT far..."


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## Noble Savage

"Heaven"


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## Monterey

I have tried SO many signs and really I think they are irrelevant. Personally, I like "Free Hitchhiker", but that is just to entertain myself. The most important thing for hitchhiking, in my experience, is eye contact and a positive demeanor without looking like I am trying too hard. This is with my pit bull dog. She is a sweetie. Most people say I looked friendly so they picked me up. Eye contact eye contact eye contact and smile. Faster than anything else I have tried. More often than not, standing, eye contact, and a smile gets me a ride within 30 minutes, and we all know, that is GOOD.
On a side note, I never ever ever ever ever hitch with a girl. That is how you get the predators. I had a serial killer pick me and my GF up once and shove a gun in our faces to kidnap and murder us. We ended up spending the night playing cat and mouse in the woods with him until we finally got away. No girls for me, thanks.

-Monterey


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## zoe420

Monterey said:


> I have tried SO many signs and really I think they are irrelevant. Personally, I like "Free Hitchhiker", but that is just to entertain myself. The most important thing for hitchhiking, in my experience, is eye contact and a positive demeanor without looking like I am trying too hard. This is with my pit bull dog. She is a sweetie. Most people say I looked friendly so they picked me up. Eye contact eye contact eye contact and smile. Faster than anything else I have tried. More often than not, standing, eye contact, and a smile gets me a ride within 30 minutes, and we all know, that is GOOD.
> On a side note, I never ever ever ever ever hitch with a girl. That is how you get the predators. I had a serial killer pick me and my GF up once and shove a gun in our faces to kidnap and murder us. We ended up spending the night playing cat and mouse in the woods with him until we finally got away. No girls for me, thanks.
> 
> -Monterey


What?? This sounds scary


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## Monterey

The eye contact or the serial killer? Yeah, it was when I was around 22. When things go down like that you don't get scared. You just take care of it and have your nervous breakdown after. Don't get me wrong. I love women, I will hop with them, but I won't hitch with one. No offense.
-Monterey


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## zoe420

Monterey said:


> The eye contact or the serial killer? Yeah, it was when I was around 22. When things go down like that you don't get scared. You just take care of it and have your nervous breakdown after. Don't get me wrong. I love women, I will hop with them, but I won't hitch with one. No offense.
> -Monterey


I'm just wondering what position that would put me in. As a woman. What do you think? Are women better off staying off the road?


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## Monterey

Well, the thing is, I don't want to come off like a caveman. "puny woman stay in kitchen where it safe". But seriously, especially if you have not spent a lot of time on the roads, travel with a guy and have the guy sit directly behind the driver. I highly suggest trains. Just my two cents.

-Monterey


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## zoe420

Monterey said:


> Well, the thing is, I don't want to come off like a caveman. "puny woman stay in kitchen where it safe". But seriously, especially if you have not spent a lot of time on the roads, travel with a guy and have the guy sit directly behind the driver. I highly suggest trains. Just my two cents.
> 
> -Monterey


Well I'm just asuming trains are dangerous as well cause the train itself can be a killer?? Of course I'm no expert on this and I appreciate the advice but do you really mean that???(puny woman........ect.) what if all travelers were men?


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## Monterey

zoe420 said:


> Well I'm just asuming trains are dangerous as well cause the train itself can be a killer?? Of course I'm no expert on this and I appreciate the advice but do you really mean that???(puny woman........ect.) what if all travelers were men?


 
Nah, there are plenty of women on the road. Riding trains is crazy easy if you have someone teach you how to do it. Just never ever ever drink before hopping out. Always have a gallon of water with a screw top, not a pop top. Most amputation stories start with, we all got so wasted and...

-Monterey


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## zoe420

Monterey said:


> Nah, there are plenty of women on the road. Riding trains is crazy easy if you have someone teach you how to do it. Just never ever ever drink before hopping out. Always have a gallon of water with a screw top, not a pop top. Most amputation stories start with, we all got so wasted and...
> 
> -Monterey


haha ill keep it in mind..not really a drinker anyways but I wouldn't even try to hop without someone experienced there with me. And I wouldn't hitchhike alone either


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## Alex shumate

mine always say smile damn it and have a greatful day i get picked up fast and mad kick downs too with that one


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## bryanpaul

not sure if she's still on squatheplanet....but a facebook buddy of mine took this...don't think she'd mind me sharin it here.......cracked me the fuck up


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## purr




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## Rail Tye

Just fly a sign for japan or some far off distant land. I once witnessed a bunch of kids flying a sign that stated, dad told us to wait here that was 15 years ago.


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## Ri Raw

I always write home really big so that people will assume im not homeless. And I also write the direction and the city because sometimes people who are on the road for the long haul, especially now with GPS and people might not have looked at an actual map, they might not realize what they are passing.


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## Bl3wbyyou

Sex is optional. (just gets odd reactions tho i was told it works,ill get a ride with it soon enough!)

Don't be a pussy pick me up! (caught a ride with that one once,and alot of smiles from chicks lol)

Not a CEREAL killer (that one works too lol)

Oh and i was outside alberqurue new mexico and wasn't getting any damn rides then thought up what about...Shoot me $2 lol.I shit you not in 30 min 2 cops showed up and told me not to fly that sign that i am likely to get shot_._I hated NM it was such a pain in the ass state.Gahh!

But yeah if the ole thumb isn't working ill just make a sign to whatever the next city/town is or next state.

Thumbing has gotten me pretty dang far but sometimes only a sign will work.


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## Mad Max

"testing for human kindness" with a big ass smiley face. This sign has always worked for me.


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## Somebody

I flew 'ALDERAAN' today at a light by the interstate and got a ride in 5 minutes!


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## Kim Chee

I've hitched probably over 20k mi. I made a sign once, flew it once.
I was pretty much a minimalist. I never felt the need to fly a sign,
but I'd probably give it a shot if I were hitching now.



Mad Max said:


> "testing for human kindness" with a big ass smiley face. This sign has always worked for me.



^I'd fly something like that.


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## CliffordFromMaine

I sometimes fly "good conversationalist" or In more illiterate states "I'm a fun guy" I heard from a friend of mine he was trying to hitch outta texas on the fourth of July and he was having no luck so he bought a pack of Budweiser and held it up in one hand while thumbing with the other. First car picked him up. How patriotic haha


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## Rob Nothing

this guy in sioux falls told me he used to get rides all over the place carrying a gas jug in his hand, which he'd fashioned smartly into a lunchbox and would take out an apple or sandwhich once he'd gotten in the car, just to rub it in. 

depending on visibility from the place I am standing I might sometimes write out a big fat NORTH or SOUTH etc, but normally just throw out a thumb with a big stupid grin on my face.


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## CliffordFromMaine

[QUOstupid verin, post: 203749, member: 6082"]this guy in sioux falls told me he used to get rides all over the place carrying a gas ju his hand, which he'd fashioned smartly into a lunchbox and would take out an apple or sandwhich once he'd gotten in the car, just to rub it in.

depending on visibility from the place I am standing I might sometimes write out a big fat NORTH or SOUTH etc, but normally just throw out a thumb with a big stupid grin on my face.[/QUOTE]
Big stupid grin is tried and true. Whenever I see a gas can on the side of the road I'll pick it up and walk with it while I hitch.people seem more likely to pick you up when they think you have a car which is fucked


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## rooster831

thumb and a smile and eye contact with the driver if i can


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## David F

Grace said:


> Eh, I'd have to be pretty desperate for a ride and/or interested in receiving something else if I wore a short skirt on the side of some road in Bumblefuck US of A. As a tactic for getting picked up, I'm sure it works. As a tactic for not becoming later raped, well, it all depends really.


WOW


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## Spazz

Mine has always been "Anywhere but here" on one side and "home" on the other.


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## pewpew

I usually just put the boring 'Hedin West" or whatever the direction will be...usually works but most of the time I can walk with my dog down the highway and that always seems to get me rides, I think because people assume you're less likely a serial killer with a cute healthy looking pooch.


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## roughdraft

Ri Raw said:


> *I always write home really big so that people will assume im not homeless*. And I also write the direction and the city because sometimes people who are on the road for the long haul, especially now with GPS and people might not have looked at an actual map, they might not realize what they are passing.



this is the funniest thing I've read in a while


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## CloudyESTL

These are signs for hitching or spangn ..or both.....I got a few

The classic
-family kidnaped by ninjas..plz help...

The dumbest. 
Not broke or hungry... Just trying to buy racecar Parts..

...really ..Honest.. 
Trap got radied ..need to pay back the plug anything helps. ..bls

And IV seen this one get actual fifty dollars bill sumtime if no 20s ...gotta have a really ugly.. dirty..like grimy crustfuck hold it ...

Punch ur stepmom for 1$
Kiss her for 50$ ...

For some reason those redhh


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## Placebo

"Sparkling conversation"
"60s R Dead" w/ a big stealie


----------



## CloudyESTL

Super model in between jobs...anything helps

Praise baby Jesus , Kentucky Fried Chicken, and Donald J Trump..
Thank u grate America anything helps
Make my stomach full again

Those all work with the Trump supporters..who are typically fucking loaded with cash so...


----------



## Kentucky walker

"Just showered" got me a ride in like 2 mins and it made a lot of people laugh!


----------



## Deleted member 24782

"Amarillo by morning" 

Didnt work, ended up sleeping on an old couch in front of an abandoned hotel....


----------



## Lamentations

Noble Savage said:


> "Heaven"


I've used that sign before.

How about "Poontosuc" or "Redwing"


----------



## IanIam

I've had good luck with:
"Wholesome as fuck"
"Catch a Riiiiiiiiiiidddddddeeeee!"
"Send feet pics"
"I just need to go 7 miles"
"Wink wink, nudge nudge"
"Don't pick me up"
"Rather be hoppin freight"
"Smiley face"
"Jesus is mah boi"
"We have cake"

For the record wholesome as fuck has been the most successful, followed by don't pick me up.


----------



## julianface

Never bothered with signs but I might make one saying "VAXXED" considering the times


----------



## daveycrockett

This one hitching Texas to NYC. Only sign i ever flew. Usually thumbed over the years. Noone stopped i threw it out after an hour stuck my thumb out and git a ride. Fuck a sign.


----------



## daveycrockett

I've always thrown out my thumb. Only sign i ever made in 20 something years of hitching. Texas to NYC.


----------



## Kjetillund

This past Mother’s Day I was trying to get home, had a sign that said “Mothers Day or Bust” on it that did the trick


----------



## WestOfSunset

inky said:


> i just hitched down the 101 too, from coos bay to san francisco. the two kids i was travelling with had a banjo and a washboard and every time we were waiting for a ride, they would just set up and play. we got rides so quickly, i felt bad that i was just holding the sign, but i think we looked like such bumpkins people assumed we were harmless =)


Even without instruments, I will start singing a song to myself making up words about how I need a ride and seem to get picked up pretty quick. I think the appearance of me talking to myself is eased by the the purity of intention or something... and the power of music compels!


----------



## WestOfSunset

My current sign just says "You're Beautiful" 

I figure why limit what I'm asking for... if I'm asking for a ride that might be all I get. If I leave it open to interpretation... well the sky is the limit


----------



## Ripeolmaters

Never used it but one time saw "we're not serial killers, if we were, we'd have a c a r by now"


----------



## Zippy Blamo

I always eschewed clever slogans and jokes in favor of things that can be read from far away: the name of the next large city or general direction (EAST) in solid block capitals as big and bold as I can manage without looking like a serial killer about it.


----------



## AnywhereMan

I usually just have ‘Bad At Travel’ and the direction im headed while chilling at a truckstop


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