# SEXXX can suck!



## Deleted member 14481

Inspired by the zine of the same name, made by Anna Bongioanni!
I wanna read ALL the bad sex* stories. 
*Consentual adult sex

My bad sex with a guy that was suppose to be a play thing I was camping mates with, along with someone else. He took himself too seriously and told me not wanting to have sex with him made him feel ugly (after 4 days of drama). I told him DAYS AGO that if he wanted to do more than hand stuff he would have to go get tested, but he never did so we never did. However, i was the one that ended up being blamed for the drama that was going on, so I left both those camp mates and sleep else where, alone, in peace.
That's the worst sex I've had as an adult. You?


----------



## TheCoyoteKing

Met this girl on OkCupid. Went out for the first date and had a blast; wandered around downtown Denver for hours bar-hopping, getting hole-in-the-wall pizza, jokin' around, flirting. Was awesome. Ended up heading back to her car and staying awake until seven in the morning just bullshitting and foolin' around, but nothing happened. 

Couple days later she invites me over. We get dinner, rent a movie, bullshit some more and decide to smoke. Now, I have pretty lame tolerance for just about any substance to begin with, so I expected to get pretty high, but this shit was absolutely _atmospheric_! One little hit and I'm walkin' on the moon, having trouble standing, flickering in and out of consciousness, and super paranoid. 

Hours go by while I'm trying to stay awake enough to watch The Lost Boys, and failing, and eventually she helps me to bed and I pass out. Super embarrassing. 

Well, she still wanted hers, so after feeling like I made a total fucking fool of myself and unsexy as all hell, we got down and had super awkward sex that felt scripted and cold. Couldn't keep it up to save my life but I got through it. Finished feeling tired and disappointed. 

Stuck around a minute 'cuz I was so damn stunned, but once I collected my thoughts I got outta there pdq and never looked back. 

Been apprehensive to smoke weed ever since.


----------



## spectacular

Hmm let's see. Worst sexual experience. It involved cervical bleeding and was in the desert. By the end of those few months my pussy felt like it had been dried out and left in the sun then run over a couple times by a 4x4. Yeeeeha wild west


----------



## Georgeez

spectacular said:


> Hmm let's see. Worst sexual experience. It involved cervical bleeding and was in the desert. By the end of those few months my pussy felt like it had been dried out and left in the sun then run over a couple times by a 4x4. Yeeeeha wild west



holy shit.. hahaha that sounds terrible and incredibly uncomfortable.


----------



## spectacular

Georgeez said:


> holy shit.. hahaha that sounds terrible and incredibly uncomfortable.


It was...


----------



## Deleted member 14481

TheCoyoteKing said:


> Met this girl on OkCupid. Went out for the first date and had a blast; wandered around downtown Denver for hours bar-hopping, getting hole-in-the-wall pizza, jokin' around, flirting. Was awesome. Ended up heading back to her car and staying awake until seven in the morning just bullshitting and foolin' around, but nothing happened.
> 
> Couple days later she invites me over. We get dinner, rent a movie, bullshit some more and decide to smoke. Now, I have pretty lame tolerance for just about any substance to begin with, so I expected to get pretty high, but this shit was absolutely _atmospheric_! One little hit and I'm walkin' on the moon, having trouble standing, flickering in and out of consciousness, and super paranoid.
> 
> Hours go by while I'm trying to stay awake enough to watch The Lost Boys, and failing, and eventually she helps me to bed and I pass out. Super embarrassing.
> 
> Well, she still wanted hers, so after feeling like I made a total fucking fool of myself and unsexy as all hell, we got down and had super awkward sex that felt scripted and cold. Couldn't keep it up to save my life but I got through it. Finished feeling tired and disappointed.
> 
> Stuck around a minute 'cuz I was so damn stunned, but once I collected my thoughts I got outta there pdq and never looked back.
> 
> Been apprehensive to smoke weed ever since.



Brah... thank you for posting. I needed that. That is so hilariously fucked up.


----------



## Renegade

It involved a dwarf .. she was 4 feet tall..it also involved ice cubes, vomit and being raided by the police.. it was a bad night.. thats all i really care to say about that


----------



## Notmyname

Nothing too crazy, just a cat shit smelling apartment, a chick who I constantly interrupted cause I couldn't stand to hear her talk, no condom, a few minutes of bad sex, period blood, and a six mile bike ride home in the morning. I crashed on the way and almost lost my glasses. But she let me choke her while I fucked her, and crash at her place so it wasn't all bad I guess. And she smoked way too many cigs for a housey. She smelled really bad ha


----------



## Renegade

Notmyname said:


> Nothing too crazy, just a cat shit smelling apartment, a chick who I constantly interrupted cause I couldn't stand to hear her talk, no condom, a few minutes of bad sex, period blood, and a six mile bike ride home in the morning. I crashed on the way and almost lost my glasses. But she let me choke her and crash at her place so it wasn't all bad I guess. And she smoked way too many cigs for a housey. She smelled really bad ha



haha Thats awesome..its also cool when girls let you choak them.. this one girl i use to bang liked getting the shit slapped out of her and got all violent when we fucked.. she almost bit my finger clean in half.. blood everywhere dude..  it was kind of like having sex with a wild animal.. not that i know what that feels like but get what i am saying hah


----------



## Notmyname

Renegade said:


> haha Thats awesome..its also cool when girls let you choak them.. this one girl i use to bang liked getting the shit slapped out of her and got all violent when we fucked.. she almost bit my finger clean in half.. blood everywhere dude..


It was fun All in all and I would do it again in a heartbeat haha. Sounds like you had a good thing going... I think I might hit up Clorissa lol


----------



## Renegade

Notmyname said:


> It was fun All in all and I would do it again in a heartbeat haha. Sounds like you had a good thing going... I think I might hit up Clorissa lol



Yeah it was fun while it lasted.. she had really fucked up teeth so when she gave me head i was hoping she wouldn't give me teeth.. felt like i was putting my dick in a cheese grater.. you should man..


----------



## Notmyname

Renegade said:


> Yeah it was fun while it lasted.. she had really fucked up teeth so when she gave me head i was hoping she wouldn't give me teeth.. felt like i was putting my dick in a cheese grater.. you should man..


Lol that sounds like a good deal haha I prolly woulda stuck with that for a while. I think I'll hit her up when I'm done house sitting. Worst case is I end up with shitty sex and a place to sleep. That is if she responds. I blocked her like 5 months ago lol. Last time I was in my hometown. The snow is melting today too so the bike ride to her place won't be so cold


----------



## Renegade

Anyone that will sit on your face like she did to me you definitely stick with.. go for it man.. and let us know how it goes.. shit i have slanged dick for a bed before.. sometimes its worth it. I keep unblocking and reblocking this girl i know.. i unblock her when i need pot or a place to stay but she is so annoying i have to keep her away most of the time.. i have to pretty much beat her with a stick in the morning to get her off my penis.. im like.. i have shit to do.. i cant stick around all day even tho you suck like a vacuum..


----------



## Notmyname

Renegade said:


> Anyone that will sit on your face like she did to me you definitely stick with.. go for or it man.. and let us know how it goes.. shit i have slanged dick for a bed before.. sometimes its worth it. I keep unblocking and reblocking this girl i know.. i unblock her when i need pot or a place to stay but she is so annoying i have to keep her away most of the time.. i have to pretty much beat her with a stick in the morning to get her off my penis.. im like.. i have shit to do.. i cant stick around all day even tho you suck like a vacuum..


haha I'm pretty sure this chick was using me for dick anyway since no other guys would fuck her she was so difficult to be around. You had it good man, I wouldn't even eat this chick out she was so bad I just wasn't feeling it enough ya know? But I'm gonna need a couch in two days so I'll hit her up haha thanks to Inuyoujo for this post for reminding me of her. I wanna choke a bitch now haha.


----------



## Renegade

Notmyname said:


> haha I'm pretty sure this chick was using me for dick anyway since no other guys would fuck her she was so difficult to be around. You had it good man, I wouldn't even eat this chick out she was so bad I just wasn't feeling it enough ya know? But I'm gonna need a couch in two days so I'll hit her up haha thanks to Inuyoujo for this post for reminding me of her. I wanna choke a bitch now haha.



You're good shit man, yeah i get what you mean...you know the trick i use when a girl really stinks? Like really really smells.. not like pussy but like she shat herself.. i just take a shower with her before hand .. its kind of obvious tho what my agenda is when we get in and pour like shit tons of soap all over said girl and scrub her..


----------



## Notmyname

Renegade said:


> You're good shit man, yeah i get what you mean...you know the trick i use when a girl really stinks? Like really really smells.. not like pussy but like she shat herself.. i just take a shower with her before hand .. its kind of obvious tho what my agenda is when we get in and pour like shit tons of soap all over said girl and scrub her..


BRO I usually that too but she had this handicapped roommate who had a bunch of chairs and shit in the shower so it would been some work to clear it out for two people. Typing out this stuff out makes me realise how much worse the experience actually was hahaha


----------



## Renegade

Notmyname said:


> BRO I usually that too but she had this handicapped roommate who had a bunch of chairs and shit in the shower so it would been some work to clear it out for two people. Typing out this stuff out makes me realise how much worse the experience actually was hahaha



I'll tell you the dwarf girl story..its pretty funny.. kind of long tho.. so back in 2013 i had a really good friend and his sister would like eye fuck me everytime i came over.. i shit you not she was 4 fucking feet tall.. and weighed like 80 pounds.. so after awhile of this i sat down with my dude and was like look.. your sister wants my cawk.. are you cool with that?? And he did not care..im just going by the rules in my man handbook never bang your friends sister without permission.. so anyway like a week goes by and we arrange a night for me to come over and fuck.. i get to her house immediately we start boozing and smoking copious amounts of weed..

4 blunts later the house is full of smoke and we are pretty drunk..we stumble in to her room and start making out then she gets this awful look on her face.. one i know all too well.. i ninja roll off the bed and just as i hit the floor vomit fucking goes everywhere in the spot i was sitting.. she drank too much.. so she is all embarrassed.. changes the sheets and goes to take a shower.. im sitting in her room smoking more of her pot and i hear a bang on the door.. apparently the dick head people up stairs had called the law because they could smell all the pot smoke.. my dude runs in says cops are at the door.. then he leaves to go talk to them.. i lock myself in the bedroom high as shit and drunk beyond drunk and get the bag of weed.. open the window and throw it in back of a bush .. close the window and sit on the bed awaiting my fate..BANG BANG BANG! open up the bedroom door! Police! I open it and chukle and say well hello i was sleeping..we dont give a fuck where is the pot! We can smell. It out front from the sidewalk .. im like fuck no we are not smoking.. then she gets out of the shower and stumbles in and the cops grill her.. her drunk ass caves in like 30 seconds.. 

she opens the dresser drawer and turns ghost white.. looks at me then back at the cops.. did you hide it! Asks the cop..Hell no and they grill us and search for like 30 mins.. get frustrated and leave.. i fish the pot out of the bush and we start smoking again..after that we have akward sex since i am almost 6 feet tall.. its horrible.. after its over she leaves me alone in her bed and goes to sleep in the kids room since he was having bad dreams.. i smoke the rest of her pot.. and pass out and wake up at 3am feeling like i am being watched.. her four yearold is hovering over me watching me sleep.. he rears his head back and gets this awful look on his face.. again i ninja roll outta bed and splat! Puke all over the bed.. im so over it by then.. she said he was being territorial since he has autism .. i dont know if i believe her.. it was just so messed up.. haha


----------



## Notmyname

Renegade said:


> I'll tell you the dwarf girl story..its pretty funny.. kind of long tho.. so back in 2013 i had a really good friend and his sister would like eye fuck me everytime i came over.. i shit you not she was 4 fucking feet tall.. and weighed like 80 pounds.. so after awhile of this i sat down with my dude and was like look.. your sister wants my cawk.. are you cool with that?? And he did not care..im just going by the rules in my man handbook never bang your friends sister without permission.. so anyway like a week goes by and we arrange a night for me to come over and fuck.. i get to her house immediately we start boozing and smoking copious amounts of weed..
> 
> 4 blunts later the house is full of smoke and we are pretty drunk..we stumble in to her room and start making out then she gets this awful look on her face.. one i know all too well.. i ninja roll off the bed and just as i hit the floor vomit fucking goes everywhere in the spot i was sitting.. she drank too much.. so she is all embarrassed.. changes the sheets and goes to take a shower.. im sitting in her room smoking more of her pot and i hear a bang on the door.. apparently the dick head people up stairs had called the law because they could smell all the pot smoke.. my dude runs in says cops are at the door.. then he leaves to go talk to them.. i lock myself in the bedroom high as shit and drunk beyond drunk and get the bag of weed.. open the window and throw it in back of a bush .. close the window and sit on the bed awaiting my fate..BANG BANG BANG! open up the bedroom door! Police! I open it and chukle and say well hello i was sleeping..we dont give a fuck where is the pot! We can smell. It out front from the sidewalk .. im like fuck no we are not smoking.. then she gets out of the shower and stumbles in and the cops grill her.. her drunk ass caves in like 30 seconds..
> 
> she opens the dresser drawer and turns ghost white.. looks at me then back at the cops.. did you hide it! Asks the cop..Hell no and they grill us and search for like 30 mins.. get frustrated and leave.. i fish the pot out of the bush and we start smoking again..after that we have akward sex since i am almost 6 feet tall.. its horrible.. after its over she leaves me alone in her bed and goes to sleep in the kids room since he was having bad dreams.. i smoke the rest of her pot.. and pass out and wake up at 3am feeling like i am being watched.. her four yearold is hovering over me watching me sleep.. he rears his head back and gets this awful look on his face.. again i ninja roll outta bed and splat! Puke all over the bed.. im so over it by then.. she said he was being territorial since he has autism .. i dont know if i believe her.. it was just so messed up.. haha


Dude. I don't even know what say. That's fucking crazy


----------



## Renegade

Notmyname said:


> Dude. I don't even know what say. That's fucking crazy



Yeah her kid could puke at will he was such a butthole.. I Remained friends with her brother to this day but i dont really talk to his sister.. she moved away and is being awkward somewhere else now.


----------



## Notmyname

Renegade said:


> Yeah her kid could puke at will he was such a butthole.. I Remained friends with her brother to this day but i dont really talk to his sister.. she moved away and is being awkward somewhere else now.


Fuck that sounds tough. Hopefully it isn't awkward with your homeboy, knowing you fucked his sister and all


----------



## Renegade

Notmyname said:


> Fuck that sounds tough. Hopefully it isn't awkward with your homeboy, knowing you fucked his sister and all



Naw not at all actually.. he is the most chill kid ever.. definitely awkward between me and her tho.. the last time i saw her she was just awkward as fuck.. she could never get past how disastrous the whole night was..


----------



## Notmyname

Renegade said:


> Naw not at all actually.. he is the most chill kid ever.. definitely awkward between me and her tho.. the last time i saw her she was just awkward as fuck.. she could never get past how disastrous the whole night was..


Aww man that's cool though at least he didn't mind


----------



## Deleted member 14481

@Renegade Christ, dude. Pun intended. ​


----------



## Vagrant Son

ok so one time my friend hooked me up with this guy on his birthday. He told me he was turning 30.
it was like 10 am and we started drinking vodka and smoking weed. 
everytime i asked this guy a question, he'd ask me the same question as an answer or say what he thought i wanted to hear. strike one

he proceeds to tell me that if we date and i dump him after 3 months, he'd break all the bones in my body. strike two

we start making out and then we head to his room. when he took his pants off i wanted to laugh, i know, rude. he had the smallest, thickest dick I'd ever seen and i was kinda disgusted but i was still really turned on, he was a good looking guy, and a good kisser to boot. he climbed on top of me and we made out some more. this dude actually fell asleep on top of me while we were making out. I felt the slob dribble down from his mouth and into mine. thats when i should have left, but no, i didnt listen to myself like i should have.

we 69d (yea i sucked the chode unfortunately) and then he asked if he could eat my ass, so of course i agreed. all was going well, i was getting a great rim job when all of a sudden, i feel a sudden foreceful pressure against my ass hole. THIS DUDE WAS TRYING TO RAM HIS RAW CHODE INTO ME.

I pushed him off of me, put my clothes on, and left (not before nabbing the weed off his counter for my inconvenience of course)

I told my friend that hooked us up what happend and she thought it was funny, maybe it was the way i was telling the story idk. to add insult to injury when i told her he looked a bit old to be turning 30 she laughed again and said he was turning 45... wtf. i actually like older guys, he didnt have to lie.


----------



## Renegade

Nomadic Son said:


> ok so one time my friend hooked me up with this guy on his birthday. He told me he was turning 30.
> it was like 10 am and we started drinking vodka and smoking weed.
> everytime i asked this guy a question, he'd ask me the same question as an answer or say what he thought i wanted to hear. strike one
> 
> he proceeds to tell me that if we date and i dump him after 3 months, he'd break all the bones in my body. strike two
> 
> we start making out and then we head to his room. when he took his pants off i wanted to laugh, i know, rude. he had the smallest, thickest dick I'd ever seen and i was kinda disgusted but i was still really turned on, he was a good looking guy, and a good kisser to boot. he climbed on top of me and we made out some more. this dude actually fell asleep on top of me while we were making out. I felt the slob dribble down from his mouth and into mine. thats when i should have left, but no, i didnt listen to myself like i should have.
> 
> we 69d (yea i sucked the chode unfortunately) and then he asked if he could eat my ass, so of course i agreed. all was going well, i was getting a great rim job when all of a sudden, i feel a sudden foreceful pressure against my ass hole. THIS DUDE WAS TRYING TO RAM HIS RAW CHODE INTO ME.
> 
> I pushed him off of me, put my clothes on, and left (not before nabbing the weed off his counter for my inconvenience of course)
> 
> I told my friend that hooked us up what happend and she thought it was funny, maybe it was the way i was telling the story idk. to add insult to injury when i told her he looked a bit old to be turning 30 she laughed again and said he was turning 45... wtf. i actually like older guys, he didnt have to lie.



Damn that guy sounds like a real code himself.. at least you got some smoke outta the deal.


----------



## Deleted member 14481

@Nomadic Son That sounds like THE WORST. That's a situation where I might have cried. And, I likely would have never talked to that girl again for laughing when I told her what happened. My Goddess.

But, I would have loved to see the look on that devil's face when he got peaced out on while trying to ram.

Thanks for sharing! ::drinkingbuddy::​


----------



## Renegade

Inuyoujo said:


> @Nomadic Son That sounds like THE WORST. That's a situation where I might have cried. And, I likely would have never talked to that girl again for laughing when I told her what happened. My Goddess.
> 
> But, I would have loved to see the look on that devil's face when he got peaced out on while trying to ram.
> 
> Thanks for sharing! ::drinkingbuddy::​



Yeah man.. i mean just running in to it like that.. not even putting any shrinkwrap on and being a total stranger and all..how fucking rude right? What a chodeWaffle


----------



## Deleted member 14481

@Renegade Beyond rude! Don't ok to do something, because you're doing something totally different. He ASKED if he could give him a rim job, so I don't see what what the problem was with asked if the ramming would be ok.

But, there was a lot of other shit wrong with that before that event started. And, it was super gross to lie about his age. ​


----------



## iflewoverthecuckoosnest

Back in my days of confused and misguided attempts at various community college majors, I was casually dating this guy for a few weeks.

The last night I ever saw him was also the first night we ever attempted to have actual intercourse. I told him that I was busy and couldn't go out with him that night, but he showed up outside of my classroom anyway.

I was a naive and timid 19 year old, and he talked me into ditching my homework for the night to get into his car and go to the field where we usually fooled around, though I was not very comfortable with the whole situation. 

So we got out to the field. We were watching some movie. He was making all kinds of comments about how hot the male characters were. Next thing I know, his dick was out.

He asked if I wanted to fuck. I made the horrible mistake of answering, "yes", and thus ensued 15 minutes of the most unskilled, misinformed sexing I have ever endured. 

He got on top of me, took his penis, and just kind of had it do the hokey pokey around my vagina. I mean, it would poke left, right, go in half way, then pull out. Every 2 minutes or so, he'd stop to make sure that the massive, magnum sized condom (which he only bought to look cool in front of the cashier, he admitted), wasn't slipping off. 

I tried to get into it. I tried to get him INTO it. I really did, but he wouldn't let me take his or my clothes off. He had some body issues. 

Finally, he stopped. Not because ANYBODY "finished", just 'cause he was tired out from all the hokey pokey.

He then spent the next 10 minutes freaking out about how bad it would have been if the condom slipped off and I got pregnant.

Now he had to do drive me home.

And this, boys and girls, is where shit got really weird. 

I told him that I didn't intend to see him again. 

He accepted this, was silent for a while, and then said, "do you want to see something that will scare you?"

Well no, not really, but I'm in your car on a dark country road, Ted Bundy, so here we go.

He told me to open up the glove box. I did. Bloody knives. Several bloody knives.

I was obviously very uncomfortable at this point.

"What are those from, did you go on a hunting trip?" 

"No. It's human blood."

"Oh. How did it get on there?"

"Well, if you must know... I... I get down that way."

"What do you mean?!"

"I... I CUT MYSELF."

What the fuck. Weirdest, creepiest way to tell someone that ever.

Needless to say I never talked to him again, though he did stalk a good friend of mine for almost a year. Psycho.


----------

