# Has anyone here learned to control their drinking ?



## AG Golda (Jun 1, 2021)

Hey all  so I've been sober 4 years, it used to be dangerous for me but I always related my addiction issues to societies cycles. Has anyone ever quit drinking but returned to it with more control ? Stp and travelling has made me feel so free and I love doing what ever I want and it's hard running into others who are having one or two beers or drinks and I want to be social... at this point in my life I feel like I could drink a bit but wake up the next day and NOT continue first thing in the morning like before 😅😅 because I'm now able to enjoy my life... anyway now I'm rambling but if anyone has experience or thoughts, feel free to share !  sending good vibes to all


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## drift (Jun 1, 2021)

I had six years off booze from 20 to 26 when I thought I could handle a couple occasionally again. I went right into drinking a hundred plus beers a week for a year. I have seen it work for others, but I just can't have any amount because of how I'm wired. If you give it another chance, proceed with caution and be with people who aren't going to pressure you to get drunk. Best of luck, OP.


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## ali (Jun 1, 2021)

Personally i think this is possible, i don't buy into the idea that once an addict always an addict.

I have quit drinking and other habits for over a year at times and then gone back. My current pattern still isn't what i would call healthy. I don't really enjoy "social" drinking, so when i do drink, i tend to binge alone, or out with strangers i'll never see again. I only ever buy enough for one night, so by the next morning i am done and i don't feel the need to keep it going any more. By some standards that's still considered alcoholic, but for me it's relatively less worse than it used to be. I suppose it's a cheap form of escapism, something i do to temporarily get the sensation of being free when i otherwise feel stuck in my job or my current life situation. I think that's a pretty common relationship with alcohol for people.

For me, when i am traveling and anyway feeling free and happy, i feel much less like i need to drink. On the road, i can be happy sober, or just having one drink in the park at sunset and it's enough. It's a take it or leave it kind of emotion, and once you're there, then you're probably better off just leaving it. Honestly, if you are happy, i wouldn't bother going back. Doing something just for the sake of socializing with other people doesn't seem like a great motivation to me.


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## Deleted member 30614 (Jun 1, 2021)

I was recently in the hospital for alcohol withdrawal, now I understand why a nickname for it is "the horrors". After I got out, I was told either to abstain or limit drinking to <15/week. I said to myself I could limit my drinking from now on. It started off well, but found myself pushing that limit yet again. So I finally quit. Today is 19 days sober. 

It's just the way I'm wired. I'm not able to find that "happy place" and stay there as others are. The fact that others are able stay at a reasonable level... just doesn't compute haha. 

I recommend "The Biology of Desire" by Marc Lewis if you're interested in the mechanics behind addiction.


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## MetalBryan (Jun 1, 2021)

If you quit, ask yourself why you want to go back. If you think there's value in running that experiment on your body, set yourself hard limits. One friend of mine announces verbally when they are done. Something like "I've had two drinks and that's my limit" then they switch to water. 

Some non-alcohol substitutes that make you look and feel like you're sharing the experience...
"Spike" a club soda with various alcoholic bitters. It makes the bubbly water taste kind of "old fashioned" and tastes like you're drinking. A 12oz club soda with 5 dashes of bitters has less alcohol than a non-alcoholic beer. A new trend is canned water, such as the brand Liquid Death. It looks like a beer, so it's similar to ordering a club soda with a lime - it makes it look like you're sharing the drinking experience.


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## CouchPunx (Jun 2, 2021)

I'm in a similar spot. I almost regret quitting drinking, just because I feel like my opportunity to go for moderation is gone. I've been sober two years now, and I really would like to just be able to have a couple drinks with people when they offer. I'm good at hanging with the seltzers and the kombuchas or whatever while other people are drinking, but still, it would be nice to let loose a little bit, feels like I never have a break. I feel like I'm missing out on a lot of good moments, and if I were to start drinking moderately with everything I've learned over the past two years I think I would be fine.

But I know from previous experience that it won't work out that way, that as soon as I start back up it's a quick slide into hell again. I don't think it's that way for everyone. All that AA shit is garbage, like some previous people said, but some people, like me, just don't really have the viable option of drinking yet. Maybe someday in the future, but not now.

I would say, though, that drinking moderately is a really good goal, I think it's just a matter of knowing yourself and how that would go for you, whether the holes booze filled are still there waiting to get filled up again.


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## Gypsybones (Jun 2, 2021)

There are countless stories of folks that stay away for 10-20 yrs then try again with the idea that they can handle themselves, standing on the "proof" that they can since that kind of time is no small task. But then only having one turns into "I can do two" and then they slide right back into it.

There really is no good reason to go back, you're just letting nostalgia mess with your head. 
You're letting yourself remember only the good times, and you start thinking, oh, maybe I can get that back, be who I used to be, or the prettied-up version I remember. It never works. You let nostalgia trick you, and you'll regret it badly.

Just find a better you moving forward, don't get into your 40s wondering where all the time went.


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## AG Golda (Jun 3, 2021)

Thanks so much everyone for the support and perspective, I'll keep doing what I'm doing, and if I ever do try it I will proceed with the utmost caution but even re reading my post it sounds like I'd be playing with fire. Yall are great


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## Beegod Santana (Jun 4, 2021)

I was a schwilly kid through most of my teens and 20's. Around 25 it started catching up with my body and I slowly drank less and less, till eventually I'd go entire months sober and not even think about it. These days I buy maybe a six pack a week. During planting and harvest seasons I just don't drink, can't afford the hangovers. In the summer I play a decent amount of gigs that come with free beer and I have no trouble having a few and stopping before I'm too lit to drive.

Weed and caffeine I'm hopelessly addicted to with absolutely no plans of stopping though.


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## CouchPunx (Jun 4, 2021)

Man reading all this got me thinking about my sobriety, especially since tomorrow's my birthday. I last minute decided to hop out of Philadelphia to Minneapolis, now here I am in Chicago, no sleep, covered in ticks, got an emotional fucked up phone call and started crying, this old Mexican man biked to the store and bought me a beer. He was really sad I said no I would have loved to drink a beer and speak Spanish and tell mexico stories with a fellow loner, but now I just gotta watch him drink it from a distance. This kinda shit, I can't tell if it's a test or if I should just drink the single damn beer, hang tough and catch my train like a fucking grown up.


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## AG Golda (Jun 4, 2021)

CouchPunx said:


> Man reading all this got me thinking about my sobriety, especially since tomorrow's my birthday. I last minute decided to hop out of Philadelphia to Minneapolis, now here I am in Chicago, no sleep, covered in ticks, got an emotional fucked up phone call and started crying, this old Mexican man biked to the store and bought me a beer. He was really sad I said no I would have loved to drink a beer and speak Spanish and tell mexico stories with a fellow loner, but now I just gotta watch him drink it from a distance. This kinda shit, I can't tell if it's a test or if I should just drink the single damn beer, hang tough and catch my train like a fucking grown up.


Happy birthday! Sorry about your current struggles... I wish I had some advice for ya  feel free to dm any time about sobriety struggles or blues, it can super suck sometimes


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## CouchPunx (Jun 4, 2021)

AG Golda said:


> Happy birthday! Sorry about your current struggles... I wish I had some advice for ya  feel free to dm any time about sobriety struggles or blues, it can super suck sometimes


Thanks! Much appreciated, and I'm happy to offer the same. 
My good friend in Seattle just randomly called me and we talked for a long time about sci fi, so that definitely helped. Might just stay in Chicago. Thanks for all the cloverleaf reacts guys, believe or not that actually gave me a needed little burst of dopamine to get me through the hour


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## Bibs (Jun 4, 2021)

Personally I can't ever go back to the drink, the amount of times I got stupid schwilly and ended up causing trouble for my friends is too many to count or accept. I'm not saying folks can't go back once they've become clean but like everyone who's replied to this thread has stated you gotta know yourself and be of sound mind if you want to try going back to a previous vice. Thanks to everyone who's chimed in on this post it's a pretty important topic.
With gratitude, -Ian


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## Anagor (Jun 6, 2021)

A "functional alcoholic" speaking here ... I mean by that, I have a quite high tolerance, I only drink beer/cider, no spirits. I never had really bad experiences with alcohol, I very rarely got wasted in the last years.

So, in my humble opinion I can control my habit.

That said, I would say NO to your question.

Especially cause of that combination:

I've been sober 4 years
it used to be dangerous for me

Don't risk to fall back into your old habit, just to be "social". You can be social without drinking, I'm sure.

As said above, I think I can control my habit. But I wish I never would have started it.

Just my two cents ...


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## Warboy (Oct 30, 2021)

As somebody who used to drink far too often, and far too much- I've been sober for... 5 years; occasionally I will crack open a beer on a special occasion- but I never finish the whole thing. I've learnt to appreciate a subtle buzz and never take it any further. Keep your drinks rare and far between, it may be ok. You know you though.


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## Big George W (Oct 30, 2021)

AG, when I was 31 which I believe is your age today, I was just widowed and for me that would have been 1996

I spent most of the 1980s and 1990s in a fairly intoxicated state, however this was only during weekends or time off.

In the 2000s I started to see that this was becoming a problem.

By 2010, with yet another failed relationship in the works, I knew things had to change but I did not know how.
I don't recall when it was, but it was maybe within 3 - 4 years, my dog looked at me as I was getting ready to tie one on, and at first I was really mad but then I realized she was right, and I never got drunk again.

I remember for the very first time, we both sat outside in my front yard and enjoyed what would become a ritual for me which I keep to the present day: sitting outside and being one with nature as all the night creatures come out.

Today, well on the wrong side of 55.... I have my 4 pints of Guinness in my garden on Saturday nights pretty much all year round when weather permits, then I cook some food, and relax.

I have no desire to ever get drunk again, and in fact can't stand being around drunk people, nor would I ever allow myself to get into such a situation.

Yes, it was fun while it lasted and I wouldn't change a thing [*well, maybe that's not true...] but today I am more spiritual and more connected to Mother Earth, and to me... getting drunk is not a part of anything that could ever bring something positive into my life ever again.

So, if I were you - and drinking was causing you much trouble in the past, I personally would not go back.

Life is far too short and precious to waste it in a drunken stupor.

I can only speak for myself, and I'll be the first to admit that I thank God that I can still enjoy a few pints on a Saturday night in my garden out with my dog [she is now 13 years 7 months old !!] over a couple of hours, and then shut the tap off, but on the other hand I know I must maintain a very disciplined attitude because I don't ever want to go back to where I was.

I can also say that this is 100% my choice, it's not something I felt forced into doing.
I stopped getting drunk because I suddenly saw no value in it.

I want to live life, and truly enjoy it.

*and going back to the very fist thing I related to here, I truly hate what alcohol makes people do.

Good Luck friend.

Far be it for me to tell you which path you should follow, but if I were you I would take the one that is healthiest for you from both a mental, physical and also spiritual standpoint.


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