# Staying Sober



## PrisMiQue (Dec 6, 2020)

I’m currently transitioning into a sober lifestyle. Alcohol has taken so much from me and has caused so much damage that I’m ready to give it up. I’m about a week sober so this is just the beginning. Unfortunately it took a near death experience for me to finally learn I need to quit the drinking.
what advice do you have for someone who’s new at this?
Im quite honestly scared that if I ever decided to spiral back into my drinking pattern I will most likely die.


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## Barf (Dec 6, 2020)

Try to be kind to yourself.

If you slip up don’t be too hard on yourself, it happens.

Remember, you have to do whatever it takes to maintain your sobriety.

As cliche as it sounds, take it one day at a time.

If you decide to go the AA route, take what works for you and leave the rest(god damn AA nuts).

I hope that helps a little.


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## PrisMiQue (Dec 6, 2020)

Barf said:


> Try to be kind to yourself.
> 
> If you slip up don’t be too hard on yourself, it happens.
> 
> ...


It does! 
I am afraid to fail. there is way more on the line now that I have a child. 
it’s remembering all the pain it’s caused when I’m in a good place in life and thinking drinking won’t hurt but it always does. I’m a binge drinker... two leads to the bottle etc. 
Thank you for your advice!


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## Deleted member 29963 (Dec 6, 2020)

PrisMiQue said:


> I’m currently transitioning into a sober lifestyle. Alcohol has taken so much from me and has caused so much damage that I’m ready to give it up. I’m about a week sober so this is just the beginning. Unfortunately it took a near death experience for me to finally learn I need to quit the drinking.
> what advice do you have for someone who’s new at this?
> Im quite honestly scared that if I ever decided to spiral back into my drinking pattern I will most likely die.


Good luck with this. If it's any consolation, I think nearly dieing is what it takes for a lot of people, myself included.

It tool me about a year to sober up because I tried to do it alone. I was only 17/18 and was still concerned people would think I was a poser who went straight edge for friends.

A combination of isolating myself and eventually getting closer to sober people did the trick. After ten months sober I went through 12 steps which was a mostly good thing.

I still keep to myself for the most part: reading, writing, making art. I just keep busy as possible trying to do constructive things that make me happy.

And I can't stress how important I think it is to keep good company, even if that means being isolated for a bit. I think it's better in the long run. Take care!


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## PrisMiQue (Dec 6, 2020)

acardweaver said:


> Good luck with this. If it's any consolation, I think nearly dieing is what it takes for a lot of people, myself included.
> 
> It tool me about a year to sober up because I tried to do it alone. I was only 17/18 and was still concerned people would think I was a poser who went straight edge for friends.
> 
> ...


This is so helpful. Thank you. I will have to let a lot of friends go. They are heavy users and it’s the pass time we all meet up for. 
I think this is going to be a big factor in my sobriety. Keeping busy and hobbies a must as well. 
going into manicuring school should help with that too 😃


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## Odin (Dec 6, 2020)

“I was drawn to all the wrong things: I liked to drink, I was lazy, I didn't have a god, politics, ideas, ideals. I was settled into nothingness; a kind of non-being, and I accepted it. I didn't make for an interesting person. I didn't want to be interesting, it was too hard. What I really wanted was only a soft, hazy space to live in, and to be left alone. On the other hand, when I got drunk I screamed, went crazy, got all out of hand. One kind of behavior didn't fit the other. I didn't care.”
― Charles Bukowski

Funny how it's easier to break up with a lover than give up the comfort of falling into a warm drunken stupor. 

Good luck. 

I can't think one day at a time... just try make a smooth landing instead of crash... or is it make a crash landing look smooth.


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## Barf (Dec 6, 2020)

Odin said:


> I can't think one day at a time... just try make a smooth landing instead of crash... or is it make a crash landing look smooth.


@Odin

Are you alright skinny mane?


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## perapeteticSolitude (Dec 7, 2020)

I relate with this pretty hard... some months ago I almost died too. Bitch ass kidneys. I’m only three months into this shit, the anxiety does drop. Sobriety isn’t a mentally DTing permanence like I figured it was. I try and look at it like a grey area, I went to rehab and they get down with all this powerlessness and surrender shit, I guess I’ve gotten something out of working the steps. I don’t feel like having a drink would lead me back into drinking all day, every day just to maintain, not immediately anyway... but honestly I’m not dealing with that whole craving shit so many addicts get. I legit don’t want to drink.. all I think about is wasted time and relationships, stupid choices and hating dreams because all they meant was waking up sick as fuck again. I made some sober friends so that helped.. even though I generally like solitude, it’s nice having sincere real folks around who have been through addiction too. just take it slow, try not to get down on yourself if you fuck up and stay busy with hobbies and shit. I started driving for instacart and postmates to make a few bucks and get out running around killing time. Good luck, in my experience it’s way harder to get into the groove of being sober than it is staying in it.


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