# Pooping on the road



## reallifeisnocool (Oct 18, 2011)

I find pooping very important. One of my first priority's when getting into a new town is finding the ideal pooping location; cleanliness, accessibility, and privacy (who wants to poop with someone pooping in the stall next to them) are all vital criteria. Gas stations are the bottom of the toilet barrel- but they are always available. Fast food chains are generally a slight step up, unless they require you to be a customer.
Any public building or hotel lobby is generally a good bet. A library will do. A nice fancy restaurant will have a nice fancy bathroom, if you're a ninja and look halfway respectable you can generally get into these toilet meccas.
But the ideal place to look for a bathroom is a college campus. Almost always clean (parents shelling 30k per yearwouldn't want precious Timmy and Erica pooping in squalor now would they). It's hard to look out of place at a college campus, no one's going to stop you. And if you're willing to walk a bit out of the beaten path find an isolated little used area of the school, and poke around a bit for the bossest bathroom I guarantee you will be pooping like a king (or queen) with what is more or less your own private bathroom. Also a great place for a quick fap or sink shower or whatever (just clean up, if they realize dirty hobos are commandeering their toilets, things might get more difficult).

Happy pooping


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## bryanpaul (Oct 18, 2011)

i'm a fan of a nice clean single lock yourself in restroom....get naked..kick back....wash the balls with some lavender soap...gitcha fap on...... alot of times you CAN find clean gas station bathrooms...mainly in smaller towns and whatnot...got a lil fake flower bouquet and a picture of a barn with an american flag painted on it...........and while we'r on this subject does anyone else LOVE Safeguard brand soap? pink stuff...... i get all excited when i go into a bathroom and they have safeguard..


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## Puckett (Oct 18, 2011)

i like to poop when there are ladys in the stalls next to me. i get to make all kinds of weird noises and sounds to mess with them. but walmart family bathrooms are great for a on the road shower. not alot f people knocking to get in like a gas station bathroom. take your time and relax. or a bush and some baby wipes work good to when there is no bathroom around


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## river dog (Oct 18, 2011)

cathole is the way to go when there is no clean toilet to be found, be sure to wipe yer ass if you're into that sort of thing, i keep some TP in my pack at all times but broad leaves work well too, ragged old clothes, etc.


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## Puckett (Oct 18, 2011)

baby wipes man, 98 cents at walmart for a pack of 80. fits in pack nicely, and leaves a fresh clean feeling afterwards. and you dont have to worry about them getting wet or dirty in your pack like tp. and you can use them for cleaning your face and whatever else. just a thought.


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## BelCh (Oct 18, 2011)

baby wipes are essential !


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## Sen (Oct 18, 2011)

Starbucks usually works too. They're always clean, but it's a 50/50 shot if it's locked or they'll make you pay. Unless they're busy, then they never notice what you do.


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## TheUndeadPhoenix (Oct 18, 2011)

Sen said:


> Starbucks usually works too. They're always clean, but it's a 50/50 shot if it's locked or they'll make you pay. Unless they're busy, then they never notice what you do.


Just ask for the code if its locked. 9 times out of 10, they fuckin have a code, not a key


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## acrata4ever (Oct 18, 2011)

water and your hand ala turka (the left hand)


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## Earth (Oct 18, 2011)

I am proud that if nothing else I have turned into that dirty old man I would admire back in my youth.

As an avid year round kayaker, I have no shame whatsoever and have come to fully embrace the Asian Squat method of Pooping, which requires nothing except a place to let it fall...

Super fast, efficient, and good for the digestive tract..
Once you try it, there's no turning back....


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## acrata4ever (Oct 18, 2011)

dont forget you ass bottle full of water (a peroxide bottle dont want anyone to drink from it) and a small bottle of soap stolen from a public toilet. DOWN WITH SWAMP ASS!


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## Sen (Oct 18, 2011)

TheUndeadPhoenix said:


> Just ask for the code if its locked. 9 times out of 10, they fuckin have a code, not a key


Our ghetto ones only have keys lol but good to know..only need to ask once.


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## dolittle (Oct 22, 2011)

As a trucker, I'm limated where I cam park & get in. But I will generally take a restarea or welcome center bathroom over a truck stop any day of the wk. And yes, baby wipes ARE U'r friend!!


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## bicycle (Oct 22, 2011)

I usualy casualy walk into a cafe or something, but they are keeping an eye out on that here.
i think they have made it forbidden by law now to use toilets in restaurants if you are not a customer but im not sure.
libraries or whatever work fine too indeed.


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## Dishka8643 (Oct 22, 2011)

+1 for starbucks. Always clean and private. Personally, if I'm going to be in the area for a while, I just try to buy a small coffee or something so they don't get tired of travelers raiding the place.


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## L.C. (Oct 22, 2011)

This seems to be a little upper-crust for my taste. I poop anywhere I won't get a ticket.


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## acrata4ever (Oct 22, 2011)

some old man told me to go shit in a hat once. hmmm.... big rain poncho a hat a plastic bag inside ... get what im driving at?


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## Earth (Oct 22, 2011)

I really miss the NYC of the late 80s, even up to say 1991 - back when everybody was pooping all over the subway platforms, etc......
Even in the turnstyles in parts of lower Manhatten.
Now that took skill......

Those were the days - totally freestyle pooping !!


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## river dog (Oct 22, 2011)

freestyle is best, extra points for elegant design and purty colors


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## iamwhatiam (Oct 22, 2011)

hmm i guess it doesn't apply as much to people on the road, but if i'm ever in the water i.e. snorkeling, surfing, whatevs, and need to take a dump i much prefer the 'aqua shit' which i recently learned. just remove shorts in water, aim ass in a downcurrent direction, and let it rip. you can use your hand to fluff your ass with some water if it makes you feel better but don't really need  then you just sit back, and watch everyone else downcurrent from you scramble for safety lol


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## hobogestapo (Oct 22, 2011)

i saw an asian kid next to his mother squat and take a duece in front of Ross dress for free.


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## reallifeisnocool (Oct 22, 2011)

L.C. said:


> This seems to be a little upper-crust for my taste. I poop anywhere I won't get a ticket.



I'm a pooping snob I'll be the first to admit it


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## Puckett (Oct 22, 2011)

ive pooped in the water befor, more in the canal that provides la with its drinking water so suck it LA!!!


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## hobogestapo (Oct 22, 2011)

oh and btw it was like it was nothing to them and totally normal, oh yeah and no wiping.


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## L.C. (Oct 22, 2011)

Does anybody play "Hide the poop"? Some favorites include the microwave w/ 1hr, and hitting start before leaving. (played in hotels) In the glass globe on ceiling light fixtures, before compact florescent bulbs came out, and they would give off some real heat, and get that poop a cookin'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In a drawer with the tip envelope stuck in it that reads "Oops, you forgot something!". Upper-decking it: dropping it in the top tank , so when the next person flushes the toilet fills up with shit instead of emptying. The anti-gravity poop: sticking a nice turd that holds it's shape to the ceiling. The heater in the wall would be good if you could get it on, or close to the heating elements. Be creative, and try to add heat to it somehow so you can get the aroma going. The coffee pt would be a good source of heat. Be the first to upper-deck a coffee-maker! Two words: Hide The Poop!!!!


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## Puckett (Oct 23, 2011)

L.C. said:


> Does anybody play "Hide the poop"? Some favorites include the microwave w/ 1hr, and hitting start before leaving. (played in hotels) In the glass globe on ceiling light fixtures, before compact florescent bulbs came out, and they would give off some real heat, and get that poop a cookin'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In a drawer with the tip envelope stuck in it that reads "Oops, you forgot something!". Upper-decking it: dropping it in the top tank , so when the next person flushes the toilet fills up with shit instead of emptying. The anti-gravity poop: sticking a nice turd that holds it's shape to the ceiling. The heater in the wall would be good if you could get it on, or close to the heating elements. Be creative, and try to add heat to it somehow so you can get the aroma going. The coffee pt would be a good source of heat. Be the first to upper-deck a coffee-maker! Two words: Hide The Poop!!!!



my sis took a shit on our friends windsheild so i shit in a bag and double bagged it and put it in her trunk when it was 100 outside and it sat there for a week and she didnt know it. i took it out and for like 3 weeks she still didnt know untill someone said something. she was woundering why her car smelled like shit for weeks.


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## DonnyDerelict (Feb 16, 2015)

Holy shit, you guys! How has this thread been dead for like three and a half years!? I think I all but peed from laughter


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## arianaholland1 (Mar 2, 2015)

One time I was covering my friend in San Diego and she was pooping another homeless guy yelled that she was pooping to the police. Tatletale!!


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## CelticWanderer (Mar 8, 2015)

I was in Atlanta and had to pee really bad, so I went into this cafe and they called the cops on me


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## kokomojoe (Mar 8, 2015)

Lol freestyle pooping


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## Desperado Deluxe (Mar 8, 2015)

One time I was on an IM and it sided out I was like fuck it I have to shit. I jumped off dropped trow and fired a log out all over the ballast. I started to whipe and heard the air breaks and jumped on the train it started creeping forward and I started to wipe again to see if I missed any and as I was doing that the cab from the passing train rolled right past and got a perfect view of me doing it. Bet I gave those conductors a laugh. It must take some kinda skill to shit on a moving loco.

Another time I was waiting for my girlfriend at the time to get out of jail and was camped near a trader joes and found a shitfuckton of blueberries and bran. Bran muffins bran cereal bran bran bran. I lived off that shit for a little over a week and my shit came out pure blue it was like a miracle. I also enjoy having green poo from lots of kale and other veggies and red poo from beets.


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## DonnyDerelict (Mar 13, 2015)

Speaking of shitting on moving trains... I got stuck riding suicide when I was still real green, and I had to shit super bad. I held onto the edge and shit through the open floor. I had been on it for a long time, so I guess the fear of falling had sort of disappeared. The scariest part about hanging my ass over an open floor and shitting was when my turd hit the ballast, a little fleck flew up(slow motion, of course) and stuck to the well wall next to me. After it was all said and done though, I was pretty proud of myself.


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