# Do opposites really attract?



## XAlbertaWarriorWomenX (Aug 4, 2015)

Do you really think its possible for a shy, quiet, interverted person to date/have a long term relationship with a guy who's a very social butterfl/exterverted type? i got hardcore social phobia and have a crush on this guy whos a big time social, outgoing person who has a attractive personality?


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## WanderLost Radical (Aug 4, 2015)

I honestly don't know. But I think for it to work, you have to be independent. Because he'll most likely spend lots of time going out, and if you're uncomfortable with that, you'll have to stay home. Which means lots of time separated from one anothet


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## Sip (Aug 4, 2015)

As someone who is the loud social butterfly type, at least in MY experience, it's way more likely for you to be in to him than him to be in to you. At least for me, as an extrovert, I'm only really interested in someone who is equally extroverted, because I feel like such a person can "keep up". 

Obviously that is just my veiwpoint, and I'm sure many introverts and extroverts are sharing happy lives together as we speak.


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## Sip (Aug 4, 2015)

Carl Wander said:


> I honestly don't know. But I think for it to work, you have to be independent. Because he'll most likely spend lots of time going out, and if you're uncomfortable with that, you'll have to stay home. Which means lots of time separated from one another



This.


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## spectacular (Aug 4, 2015)

Just gotta try it to see if you like it


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## Art101 (Aug 4, 2015)

It can work but you both would have to reach a happy balance point to make it work.Im in a situation like that right and I am actually starting to feel smothered.Its tough not to build resentments to each other.So keep open lines of communications.Good Luck.


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## Kim Chee (Aug 4, 2015)

Why not, perhaps he can even help you overcome your shyness.


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## Andrea Van Scoyoc (Aug 4, 2015)

My husband and I are polar opposites and we've been married for 21 years.

I'm social, will, 'talk the horns off a billy goat,' (as my mother would say) am the life of the party, the one everyone flocks to and can make the best of any situation.

My husband....detests people, won't speak to anyone, ignores people if they talk to him and watching paint dry is more fun than being around him.

Yet...I've always managed to be the social butterfly.

Depends on how much effort you're willing to put into it.

Good luck!


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## EphemeralStick (Aug 4, 2015)

It can work as long as both of you put forth equal amount of effort towards each other. Don't give up!


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## wizehop (Aug 5, 2015)

Andrea Van Scoyoc said:


> My husband....detests people, won't speak to anyone, ignores people if they talk to him and watching paint dry is more fun than being around him.
> !



Lol, you really put him in a good light...sounds like something my girl would say about me...minus the paint drying bit.


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## Anagor (Aug 5, 2015)

I don't know. I'm quite introverted mostly. Shy. I try to overcome it. Traveling helps me a lot. But in the past it was really bad. Think computer nerd, science fiction addict. Stutterer (fortunately that is gone 99% now). Adventures? Pen&paper roleplaying, Stuff like that.

I'm 41 years old and the first time I really fell in love with a girl (and told her) was half a year ago. :/

So not much advice from my side. Other than try it and follow your heart.


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## Odin (Aug 5, 2015)

Being with someone different from yourself is a good thing.
You get into a real relationship you should hope to learn something new about each other all the time.
I want to be old someday and have my wife tell me new things everyday when we are 65 and grey.

"Hey "Odin" you bastard. Did you know, I think your a dumb ass who can't pee straight into the toilet."

"What'd you say hunny? You have a huge ass and will make me a sandwich?"

Hehe... ::cigar::



Andrea Van Scoyoc said:


> My husband....detests people, won't speak to anyone, ignores people if they talk to him and watching paint dry is more fun than being around him.



Sound about right... I'm along that path as well.
They'll call me Old Man Grim.

One day I'll have my porch with a rocking chair, cooler full of beer, shotgun in my lap to keep people off my lawn and my dog Maverick at my side. Also, a woman to nag me as well... if I'm lucky. :ldman::


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## Andrea Van Scoyoc (Aug 5, 2015)

wizehop said:


> Lol, you really put him in a good light...sounds like something my girl would say about me...minus the paint drying bit.


It's true. 

He has gotten a little better. He had advanced stage cancer and beat it...that tends to make one appreciate life a little more, I think.

But he's really not social. He's a complete introvert.

[emoji40]


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## Andrea Van Scoyoc (Aug 5, 2015)

Odin said:


> Being with someone different form yourself is a good thing.
> You get into a real relationship you should hope to learn something new about each other all the time.
> I want to be old someday and have my wife tell me new things everyday when we are 65 and grey.
> 
> ...


You and my husband sound like long lost brothers.

You two should really meet. Your wife and I, will go have coffee or lunch and you two can discuss guns and the best way to keep people away from the house.

[emoji14]


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## Deleted member 13433 (Aug 5, 2015)

Ha Ha !! That's where I'm at: Hanging out in my front yard with the dog, cooler full of Saranak, music blaring away, and not another soul in sight..... 

It either works or it don't to answer the original question.
There's no way of actually knowing in advance, although there probably signs to watch out for, like is it looking like a one way relationship ??

I'm now on the wrong side of 50.

I've had relationships with girls who were similar to me, totally different, younger, older, and in the end.... I'm hanging on in my front yard with the dog listening to The Gun Club

I've seen marriages which I thought would last forever fail in no time at all, on the other hand I've known people who share almost nothing - except their kids - and 40 years later their are still very happily married.

There has to be something, a spark... - something which cannot be described between you both - for it to work.

The only way you'll know is if you hook up with him - but recognize that with love can come a great deal of pain and suffering*.

*remember: it takes 2 to fall in love, but one 1 to end it.

I'm sorry but I'll take a good canoe over a relationship any day.


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## deleted17310 (Mar 25, 2018)

Yes they do. Me, city kid from Boston extensive criminal record loud obnoxious drug addict. me punk rock. her, daughter of a rural pig farmer quiet gal doesn't swear or use. Her country music. We got married. No it wasn't to piss her parents off infact she didn't tell them because she was afraid they would boot her outta the family. Be careful tho this was the best thing I've ever had in my life but these things don't have to end happy. We are now divorced and both shattered wrecks that can no longer maintain healthy romantic relationships


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