# Throw Away Girl and the Crazy Goat Man at an Impasse (Part II of Crazy Goat Man Stories)



## JackieBlue (Nov 27, 2011)

When we left Throw Away Girl and the Crazy Goat Man, they were knee deep in goat shit. By this time Throw Away Girl had been broken in, and had fallen into a routine. Since most of her time on the farm was solitary; she would get up when the turkey gobbled in the morning (which, incidentally, was actually before the rooster crowed.) She would put another stick of wood on the fire and put the teakettle on and pull on her clothes and boots, to tend animals. The first chore of the day was to milk the goats. 

Milking goats was more peaceful and enjoyable than she had ever imagined. Throw Away Girl only felt this way because goats can be pesky creatures, and are hard to catch or to herd back into a pen if they decide to go for a little walk. When the goat was in the stand eating it's sprouted grains and carrot pulp though; all was calm. Just the mewing of the barn cats, the munching of the feed and the spray of the milk into the pan, broke the silence. When this chore was completed, she would take the milk to the main house, filter it and store it in tall mason jars; to be made into cheese or for having with oat groats in the morning. She always saved a bit of the fresh milk for just that purpose. After tending the goats and the milk, she went back to the chicken coop. 

By the time she had let the chickens out for the day and gathered the eggs her teakettle had heated enough to make some tea and a boiled egg. the remainder of the water she used for her oats. After breakfast she would meander back to the main farm house and grab an orange, or whatever fruit happened to be kicking around the kitchen. Then it was off to the garden to weed, and harvest what she could from the neglected beds. She uncovered 3 cold frames, leeks, carrots, sorrel, lettuces, beets, globe artichokes, jerusalem artichokes, and several different types of brassicas. What she could harvest each day was mostly to keep herself fed. Along with some rice, it was the main part of Throw Away Girl's diet.

Some days she would take early morning walks in the forest to harvest mushrooms, other days she would make a day of feeding extra carrot pulp and other vegetable waste, to the sheep and horses. The horses were allowed to free range, just as the chickens, but they rarely got anything extra in the way of grains. The sheep were moved between several different pastures and were only penned during lambing season. Sometimes Chuck would spend some time at the farm, but he spent most of it in his water tower office; talking on the phone to lobbyists and who all knows what. We are talking about the Crazy Goat Man after all.

Many of the chores or projects that Chuck had Throw Away Girl untertake, were jobs that hadn't been done in years. Prune this. Chop that. Divide and spread out perennials. Harvest vegetables for this person or that person. Root kiwi clippings. Grow orange trees from seed that had been saved from our fruits. Make twenty different types of chevre. Write and article about sustainably harvested trees. The man was a never ending river of busy work, but after the goat pen cleaning, she never saw him do anything more than milk goats, ruffle his shaggy white hair, and spout pompous, self righteous, hypocrisy about environmentalism; out of his yellowed buck teeth. ( Notice that the man kind of looked like a goat?) Throw Away Girl echoed some of his view points, but she also saw middle ground; where Chuck had never ventured.

On occasion people would come out to the farm. Some would stay for a week or two, others just dropped by for the day, but noone stayed very long. I began to get the feel that the locals weren't overly fond of him. He had had a woman staying on the farm, previously and there had been some dispute about a goose that she had, and contaminated water sources, and other grievances that Chuck would go on and on about; claiming that she was insane. They had been battling in court for several months at that point. Throw Away Girl found out at this time that Chuck was actually living off a trust fund, and that the farm was just something of a hobby or a token badge to say that he "lived off the land." Chuck lived more in his own world than in any world, that you or Throw Away Girl had ever lived in.

Most of the time though, Throw Away Girl was by herself in the peace and quiet. Many days she would quit working at around two in the afternoon. If it was a sunny day she would grab some fruit for her lunch, take her clothes off and lie in the grass; letting the sun and fruit recharge her body. Some days she would fall asleep in the late afternoon rays, other days she would sit with her journal or sketchpad and let her mind wander. It was early spring and there were still a lot of rain showers and brief thunderstorms. She would end up running for cover sometimes, but she had never seen so many rainbows in her life. The quiet beauty and solitude was magical and healing. Throw Away Girl had notever felt so healthy and alive.

By the end of the day, she would steam up some vegetables or make some soup, listen to NPR, and write letters, play solitaire, or just daydream until she drifted off to sleep. After a while Throw Away Girl felt that she should go into town a little bit and meet some people, because being alone isn't perfection all the time. One does need to remember how to speak and interact, after all.

So Chuck told her that she was free to use the farm truck {remember? the one that the tree had fallen on}, to go into town from time to time. At this point Chuck hadn't offered any sort of stipend. Throw Away Girl had been working for almost two months. Chuck decided that she should harvest several bags of vegetables each week, and market them to folks in town, so that she could earn some money. His other idea was that she dig up plants to sell in front of his "town" house. So, with no budget, or new seed, Throw Away Girl harvested what she could out of the garden and made grocery bags for six customers, sometimes with cheese or milk and other times without. Chuck would make most of the deliveries and kept 25% of the profit. Throw Away Girl was making somewhere between 15 and 30 dollars a week. Not much; considering the amount of work that she did and the meager board that was offered to her, but she was happy; so she was able to let this go to some degree.

On her first trip to town, she sat in front of the house for several hours. She didn't have any customers, so she decided to go for a walk. Throw Away Girl walked around the block and down onto the main street. Probably many of you have seen pictures of Mendocino on postcards or whatnot, and not known that it was Mendocino. It is a historical district and the "hysterical" comittee made sure that all the buildings were maintained in keeping with historical reference. So imagine this picture book town, with victorian era houses. It almost looked like New England, in fact it became a "town" when loggers from Maine headed west to harvest the "big" trees. Many movies have been filmed there beginning with many silent films and moving on to ones like:The Night of the Living Dead (the original), East of Eden, Slither, Cujo, Karate Kid III, The Majestic, Overboard, and Dying Young. Mendocino is also the home of the "Murder She Wrote" house. 

As she strolled down Main street, she came upon a duck pond, in front of which was a fence. There were two guys around my age sitting there with their dogs. As she passed by, she smiled, and one of them asked if she could spare any roaches. It was the first time she met Soul Starer and Yup. She laughed and told them that she would smoke a joint with them, so they wandered off into Headlands State Park. After finding a somewhat secluded spot they began conversation and she found that Yup was from South Carolina, and that Soul Starer was from Sacramento. They said that they knew a couple that were from New Hampshire, and that they would introduce us. So the three of them spent the afternoon hanging out, and they introduced her to all of their "street" friends. This is California code for homeless by the way.  

When she made her way back to Chuck's house it was nearly sunset, and a wind had begun to pick up. She went inside and found Chuck and his wife making a light dinner of bagels and lox. Throw Away Girl was excited. Protein! Something besides goat milk and eggs anyway! Then Chuck began to tell Throw Away Girl that she should watch out for people that hung around town too much. She asked what he meant, and he told her that there was a lot of riff raff around. Now Throw Away Girl had never been one to judge, and if she were to judge then it would be upon her own deductions and not based upon hearsay. She decided to take this information with a grain of salt, well, well just because Throw Away Girl WAS riff raff, and didn't feel that she should make herself, or even think herself, superior to any other being. Judge not lest ye be judged, was her motto.

The next day, she met Soul Starer and Yup and they gave her a tour of town, showing her all the shortcut alleys, the Chinese Temple, great pocket beaches to explore, and of course the best places to just sit and absorb the sun, the ocean, and life itself. At the end of the day Soul Starer walked her back to the house, and she headed back to the farm. 

When she woke up the next morning Chuck was at the farm, so she went down to have a word with him. Throw Away Girl had given them a brief overview of what she had been doing by herself for the last months, and both of them were interested in coming out to the farm to help out on a regular basis. Throw Away Girl approached Chuck about the subject, and the man literally went apeshit, and told her that there was no way in hell that he would have that sort of person on his farm whether they were working or dead. She was shocked. One would think that a farmer would want all the free labor he could get, but no Chuck was too good for them. Chuck went on to complain about how she had been ammassing the weekly bags of vegetables. Telling me that some people complained about dirt on the vegetables. Ummm hello, dude. They're vegetables. They grow in dirt, and one can only get so much dirt off root vegetables without scrubbing them. Did Chuck provide a brush, or even a sufficient sink? Of course not! So Chuck and Throw Away Girl come to their first impasse.


////This is where I leave you again, I hope you enjoyed reading and that you are looking forward to the exciting end of this story. Until then keep your veggies clean and the riff raff at bay.////////


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## BobbinGoblin (Dec 2, 2011)

It sounds like a beautiful life!! If only it was your own farm....


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## JackieBlue (Dec 2, 2011)

truly....this same farm is sitting empty right now. kinda sad. it's not really squattable either. i am hoping to have my own farm in the next year. i have been slaving to the man almost long enough to qualify for a loan........*grumble* and happiness at the same time. :0)


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## Dmac (Dec 3, 2011)

good luck, it is amazing what a person can do with just a fer akers and some chickens or rabbits.


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