# just need a bit of support



## wildwerden (Jun 10, 2012)

I'm set on getting on the road with a truck and living out of it. I'm planning on pan handling for money and gas and dumpster diving for food. I will go where I please, pick up hitch hikers along the way and just be own my own with my pup. Headed south for now. Once the truck breaks down, I'll hitch hike. Once the urge to settle happens, I'll start squatting.

Is this not reasonable in any sort of way? To have no plan, nothing of any sorts? I told my family about this and they are showing no support whatsoever. I'm not asking for support from them, just for them to understand. That I can no longer function in their society. That I will end up committing suicide if I go to school for four years, get a full-time job and work unhappily until my death. I just cannot do that. I've suffered from depression for five years and now that I'm eighteen, I'm taking matters into my own hands. Being on their medication, in their society's ways has not worked for me at all.

So please, someone tell me that I'm being somewhat reasonable, that what I'm doing isn't entirely insane. Tell me your stories, your advice, anything.


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## Kim Chee (Jun 10, 2012)

It may be better if you are stable before heading out. On the other hand, getting out there may be exactly what you need. You might do good to have a plan to return home if things just aren't feeling right.


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## wildwerden (Jun 10, 2012)

I've been unstable for five years even on their medication. In the past week I've refused the medication and I've been more stable than I've ever been. It is very dangerous to do such a thing, yet I got so fed up. Five years of this shit. And I'm doing alright, despite all their attempts to break me down. I'm still holding strong. I truly think this is what I need. I do have a plan on going back home if this doesn't work out. I actually have a few plans on what I want to do, just no plans on exactly what I'm going to do on a day-by-day basis.


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## iSTEVEi (Jun 10, 2012)

wildwerden said:


> I'm set on getting on the road with a truck and living out of it. I'm planning on pan handling for money and gas and dumpster diving for food. I will go where I please, pick up hitch hikers along the way and just be own my own with my pup. Headed south for now. Once the truck breaks down, I'll hitch hike. Once the urge to settle happens, I'll start squatting.
> 
> Is this not reasonable in any sort of way? To have no plan, nothing of any sorts? I told my family about this and they are showing no support whatsoever. I'm not asking for support from them, just for them to understand. That I can no longer function in their society. That I will end up committing suicide if I go to school for four years, get a full-time job and work unhappily until my death. I just cannot do that. I've suffered from depression for five years and now that I'm eighteen, I'm taking matters into my own hands. Being on their medication, in their society's ways has not worked for me at all.
> 
> So please, someone tell me that I'm being somewhat reasonable, that what I'm doing isn't entirely insane. Tell me your stories, your advice, anything.


 
I have no plan whatsoever either. Flying over from England to Portland later this year and from then on I'll just do whatever happens to come my way.

Don;t have too much in the way of money but I'll have enough for a flight back to the U.K in case of an emergency at home. (Or for free healthcare ). Its always good to have a backup plan in case things go wrong. It not only helps you feel better but it will make your family feel better about it too.

Good luck!


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## Thoreau (Jun 10, 2012)

I feel somewhat the same, im also 18 and after the school exams i must start doing something with what ive learned here, ive studied these things many times and it doesnt seam to be an easy life, ive traveled somewhat but not in these ways restrictly.
I say you should try for some time then comeback home, to see how you fell


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## wildwerden (Jun 10, 2012)

thanks man.


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## zephyr23 (Jun 11, 2012)

I would do some few test runs for see how long you can last without your fam money and living in your truck see how taugh you really are


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## uncivilize (Jun 11, 2012)

I've said it many times before, and I'll say it again; no matter where you go, there you are.

Look, there is a good chance that getting on the road will be the best thing that could ever happen to you, but it could very well be the worst. You could find an incredible amount of inner strength, courage, independence and freedom, or you could find something else that fills the overwhelming sense of emptiness you're experiencing, fall in with a shitty crowd (the "traveler scene" seems to be dominated by them these days, but there are also a bunch of incredibly bright, talented, wonderful kids out there too), fall into alcohol abuse and/or drugs, get taken advantage of, robbed, raped, even murdered. I'm not trying to scare you, it's a big wide open world, everything is uncertain, and a good deal of it you have the power to create, but you have to know yourself well and have a high level of awareness to have that ability. The road can propel you to new heights, or eat you alive.

I can only speak for myself, as to what I find helpful when it feels like I'm going to be crushed under the weight of the world, but it could be a good recommendation for you (who knows? tons of detail/subtlety missing in this media of communication, hard to know who you really are). Basically, I feel my best when I have a direct connection to my life. When my hands are dirty from growing or gathering my own food, when I make things I can use in my daily life, when I walk silently through the woods, mind quiet, senses open. Also, physical activity and healthy food can do wonders for depression. In my opinion, that's the first thing that should be tried, well before medication (which, in my opinion, should be a last resort, if at all).

Maybe try going into something positive and productive, not in a societal sense, but for you. WWOOFing or hiking the Appalachian Trail or something could be a great introduction to the wider world, but a bit of a buffer. I mean seriously, I know you're legally an adult at 18, and I don't mean to be patronizing or condescending, but you're still a kid, and an unstable one at that; it might be best to test the waters a little before jumping into the deep end.

Whatever you decide, best of luck to you! Safe and happy travels!


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## ped (Jun 11, 2012)

Sounds bullet proof!


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## renotwin (Jun 11, 2012)

iStevei When you coming to Portland?


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## ELCASCABEL (Jun 11, 2012)

Hey, sorry for coming across like such an asshole.. I was suuuuper drunk whenever I wrote that. Good luck in your travels!


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## mandapocalypse (Jun 11, 2012)

I've suffered with "mental illness" my entire life, and travelling has been the only thing that soothes my madness. I think you getting the Fuck out of your parents constraints and wrath will be the best thing for you. PM me if you want more depth on this matter.


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## iSTEVEi (Jun 11, 2012)

renotwin said:


> iStevei When you coming to Portland?


I'm aiming for September/October.
Still have some stuff to take care of over here before I commit to getting a ticket.


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## renotwin (Jun 11, 2012)

iSTEVEi said:


> I'm aiming for September/October.
> Still have some stuff to take care of over here before I commit to getting a ticket.


 
Good deal, I assume you are talking about Portland , Oregon. I am in Central Oregon and will be heading to Slab City sometime in Late Sept./ Oct., If you get bored and want a ride down I-5 get me a shout.


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## wildwerden (Jun 11, 2012)

uncivilize said:


> I've said it many times before, and I'll say it again; no matter where you go, there you are.
> 
> Look, there is a good chance that getting on the road will be the best thing that could ever happen to you, but it could very well be the worst. You could find an incredible amount of inner strength, courage, independence and freedom, or you could find something else that fills the overwhelming sense of emptiness you're experiencing, fall in with a shitty crowd (the "traveler scene" seems to be dominated by them these days, but there are also a bunch of incredibly bright, talented, wonderful kids out there too), fall into alcohol abuse and/or drugs, get taken advantage of, robbed, raped, even murdered. I'm not trying to scare you, it's a big wide open world, everything is uncertain, and a good deal of it you have the power to create, but you have to know yourself well and have a high level of awareness to have that ability. The road can propel you to new heights, or eat you alive.
> 
> ...


 
many thanks to you man. being eighteen may mean that i'm legal but it sure as hell doesn't mean i'm an adult yet. i know i'm still young and naive and that i've got a long ways to go. will definitely test the waters first to see how it goes. i know it's a scary big world but i don't want to be sheltered from it all. i want to live. we'll see how the test trial works out. 

oh and any recommendations for a vehicle? truck or jeep? what's more reliable?



ELCASCABEL said:


> Hahahaha.. so you plan on being a parasite? No one owes you shit.


well duh, no one owes me any fucking thing. and i don't owe them anything either. i'm living off what they consider 'garbage' or 'change'. i'm living off the things they do not want, i'm not stealing from them which is what a true parasite does.


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## iSTEVEi (Jun 11, 2012)

renotwin said:


> Good deal, I assume you are talking about Portland , Oregon. I am in Central Oregon and will be heading to Slab City sometime in Late Sept./ Oct., If you get bored and want a ride down I-5 get me a shout.


Thanks for the offer man.
Might take you up on that depending on how things go when I arrive.


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## Matt Derrick (Jun 11, 2012)

wildwerden said:


> many thanks to you man. being eighteen may mean that i'm legal but it sure as hell doesn't mean i'm an adult yet. i know i'm still young and naive and that i've got a long ways to go. will definitely test the waters first to see how it goes. i know it's a scary big world but i don't want to be sheltered from it all. i want to live. we'll see how the test trial works out.
> 
> oh and any recommendations for a vehicle? truck or jeep? what's more reliable?
> 
> ...


 
you seem to have a pretty level head on you, so i think you'll be fine. i would recommend getting something you're comfortable sleeping in, but also something that is reliable and has good gas mileage. i can't recommend you get a jeep, the mpg is terrible.

best of luck to you!


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## uncivilize (Jun 11, 2012)

wildwerden said:


> many thanks to you man. being eighteen may mean that i'm legal but it sure as hell doesn't mean i'm an adult yet. i know i'm still young and naive and that i've got a long ways to go. will definitely test the waters first to see how it goes. i know it's a scary big world but i don't want to be sheltered from it all. i want to live. we'll see how the test trial works out.
> 
> oh and any recommendations for a vehicle? truck or jeep? what's more reliable?


 
It really isn't a big scary world though, there are certainly risks, but like I said, you have more power than you think to create the world you want, or at least your perception of it; just be smart, work on gaining the ability to recognize potentially bad situations early on, and how to avoid them. The people who think it's a big scary world are the ones who never live in it, who get all their info from TV or whatever, and live in their heads. That's one of the best parts about traveling, getting out there, and seeing it isn't as much to fear as you might have thought. Pushing the edges of your comfort, more than just physically, is how you grow, learning more about yourself and the world.

As far as a vehicle, there are so many factors to consider, reliability, parts availability, fuel economy, amount of room, etc. It depends on what you can be comfortable with, and how creative you are. Jeep Cherokees are everywhere, tons of parts available, and the inline 6 motor is pretty damned tough, not the best gas mileage, but really not all that bad if it's in good running condition. Toyota trucks are really common, so parts shouldn't be an issue, and they can be incredibly reliable, especially the 22R engine (the older V6 engines always blow head gaskets), and a 4cyl is great on gas. The Cherokees are pretty small, but you can gut the interior, build a platform, and have more comfort than you'd think. Of course, a pickup bed is the easiest to deal with. A van is fucking luxury, but you pay for it in fuel economy. There is tons of info on rubber tramping/vehicle living on this site and on the web, spend some time doing your research.

Another thing to consider is that a vehicle is a major expense, up front in the initial purchase, then fees, insurance, gas, maintenance, etc. Seems like alot for something you're planning on driving into the ground and abandoning. Maybe save the money you'd be spending on a vehicle and invest in some good gear, and you'd have plenty left over to have fun and adventures with.


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## ped (Jun 11, 2012)

Dual sport motorcylce will get you about the best fuel mileage.


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## uncivilize (Jun 11, 2012)

Fuck yeah! I'm definitely planning on getting a dual sport someday. You don't have to stop going when the road ends.


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## soapybum (Jun 11, 2012)

If you'll panhandle for money for gas you'd probably be better off gasjugging, at least from my experience.


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## renotwin (Jun 11, 2012)

iSTEVEi said:


> Thanks for the offer man.
> Might take you up on that depending on how things go when I arrive.


 
No problem, you have to check out as much of Oregon as you can before fall/winter hits, it's a beautiful place.


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## wildwerden (Jun 13, 2012)

uncivilize said:


> Another thing to consider is that a vehicle is a major expense, up front in the initial purchase, then fees, insurance, gas, maintenance, etc. Seems like alot for something you're planning on driving into the ground and abandoning. Maybe save the money you'd be spending on a vehicle and invest in some good gear, and you'd have plenty left over to have fun and adventures with.


 
Yeah, I've given it some more thought and got in an accident today. looks like I'm probably not getting a vehicle anymore. It's just too much investment into something that I'll be abandoning, like you said. thank you so much for yr help, really appreciate it man.


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## Peagreen (Feb 7, 2013)

wildwerden said:


> Is this not reasonable in any sort of way? To have no plan, nothing of any sorts? I told my family about this and they are showing no support whatsoever. I'm not asking for support from them, just for them to understand. That I can no longer function in their society. That I will end up committing suicide if I go to school for four years, get a full-time job and work unhappily until my death. I just cannot do that. I've suffered from depression for five years and now that I'm eighteen, I'm taking matters into my own hands. Being on their medication, in their society's ways has not worked for me at all.


 
(Gotta love re-igniting old threads)..

Nope, actually it sounds familiar..
Advise is hit-and-miss, sometimes it resonates.., but my $.02 is to follow your heart, and trust your judgement, do that and there isn't much you can do wrong. Life is always going to be filled with ups/downs; doubts, worry, and regret, but trying to beat yourself into a mold that doesn't fit only seems to amplify negative emotions, and break down your resolve.


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## ped (Feb 7, 2013)

Do what I do and instead of suicide just continue to dredge along in life and try to be a some help to the world without actually being part of it. The ultimate act of compassion to reach nirvana.


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