# Single for far too long



## Toasty Tramp

It was Oct of 2011 when I lost her.

Getting out of the air force, no job prospects, full time student...full time lover.
We met in Seattle, during an Air Show where all the prominent Air Force's from round the world gathered up on my base to show off their stuff. She was a friend of a friend, and sparks flew immediately. Before I knew her name, we we having a powdered sugar fight and I was showing her all of the cool shit about the jets I worked with. Things took off.

It was 2.5 years later when she received her acceptance letter to a college across the country. Living in Seattle...North Carolina was kinda sorta a big deal, but I supported her fully.
We chatted every night, even began to talk about marriage. And kids. And our future together. I put in the paperwork to transfer bases and be closer to her, and she was totally down. Anything for us to be together, ya know?
3 months pass by, and it turns out that she tripped and stumbled into about 30 different dicks in between us talking about children and marriage and junk. Kick her to that motherfuking curb where she belongs.

Boom. Crushed.
And for quite some time.

About 1.5x the amount of time we were even together before I started to MOVE ON -- We were together for 2.5 years, to be honest.
She ruined me, and any chances I had at finding love elsewhere.

Til recently.
Except that it's WEIRD.
Do you know how long its been since I've given a girl the time of day?? Do you know just how much I dunno wtf to do? After getting to know just a little bit about her, I crave more. This shit is confusing...I haven't given a relationship a thought since Vienna and I split in 2011...but I desperately crave that connection. Just dunno where the fuck to begin, ya know? Dunno how to feel, dunno how to take it. Dunno how to deal with it, and dunno what to even fucking THINK goddamnit.
This shit is ODD.

Nothing. Not even infatuation. Nothing for years, and all of a sudden?
dafuq.


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## Toasty Tramp

Oh you know the funny part? 

Girl that gives air to the long forgotten flame is _*engaged*_.
They have chickens.
And I barely even fuckin' know her.

Goddamnit, life.


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## iamwhatiam

well, when you are done with the ladies and want to try the other side....i'll be here waiting for you?


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## Odin

@iamwhatiam throwing out the other side temptation hahaa ::woot::


For some reason I'm reminded of "Trainspotting"

Mark "Rent-boy" Renton: "1,000 years from now there will be no guys and no girls, just wankers. Sounds great to me."


@Milktoast I hear ya.

I recommend drinking some whiskey and staying off that merry go round.

Or just hop on then off real quick.

But all the best if you give it a go.

WTF do I know...::drinkingbuddy::


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## Tude

Sigh. Did the marriage thing. Put my whoooooole life into it. And into someone who did not respect it. Took me a long time and several other friendships, ok boyfriends-ishs, to really think about the whole bf thing again.

Started going out with Rick - long distance relationship, (interesting thing long distance - you get to visit but don't live together - gives distance and time solved I guess ) - found interestingly via haphazardly through a bicycle website believe it or not - and traveled for like 5 yrs and forth and now he is here where I live for the last year plus. And going well.


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## Andrea Van Scoyoc

Just my .02...

STAY SINGLE!!!!

You'll be happier. I wanted nothing more than to be married and have kids.

Got both...married a much older man with five kids (can't have kids, myself) and enough drama with them to fill a couple of encyclopedia sized books.

Oh...how I wish I'd listened to my mother when she told me that I could get married when I had nothing else to do.

You have no idea what it means to be free...until you lose it.

@Odin ...best advice, ever. Jump on the merry go round and then jump off as fast as you can.

Peace!


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## Kim Chee

Milktoast said:


> 3 months pass by, and it turns out that she tripped and stumbled into about 30 different dicks in between us talking about children and marriage and junk.



Sorry about your loss.

Find you another cockhound!

Honestly, sorry about that. 

Time heals, and if it feels like you can't fall in love again, you can always hang out with @iamwhatiam and stumble into 30 different dicks together.


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## Tude

I agree @7xMichael - Time does heal


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## Anagor

I'M NOT A PUNK BUT I FELL IN FUCKING LOVE WITH A PUNK, GODAMNIT


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## Tude

ohhh I could go far from this hehe but I shall not.


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## SpaceDirt

People suck, but then again all the talk was just an idea. And be thankful that it never formed; It would of been a whole lot shittier if you got married, children and then had the shit show unfold!


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## pigpen

You would have preferred your loved one to be 2000 miles away frustratedly watching other people bump into dicks? Seems kinda selfish to me.


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## Toasty Tramp

It'd have been selfish if we weren't taking action to close the distance between us and then get married. Not my fault the goofy bitch was too blind to see the kinda guy she had at the time and decided she'd rather fuck around than build a life of loyalty and empowerment together. But like @SpaceDirt says --- Thank fuck it never formed  Maaaaaannnnn - Old girl's _meeeeaaannnnnn_ dick suckin' abilities dodged a bullet FOR ME. Talk about magic 
But she's old news, from an old life. Thank _fuck._



Odin said:


> I recommend drinking some whiskey and staying off that merry go round.



Lol! Last night's post was actually brought to you by a big ol' bottle o' Jack. Perhaps I'll stay away from the whiskey hahaha. I always get in muh feelings and shit when I drink too much of that stuff.

Thanks for the words of encouragement, guys. Normally I'm _all about_ the single life and staying away from commitment and shit, last night was just ONE OF THOSE NIGHTS. Fucccckkkkk, @7xMichael, I just MIGHT have to go off with @iamwhatiam and have a couple of drinks, stumble into about 30 dicks together. 



ON A SIMILAR NOTE.
Do any of you know how to dance?
I reallyyyyyy need to learn how to dance.


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## Desperado Deluxe

My advice to people in the military is don't get married until after your out unless you don't mind if your other half messes around on you or you have an unbelievably outstanding sense of trust. At least you didn't get married and have her screw you over for half the stuff you worked four or more years to earn. I haven't been in the military it just seems really common among the people I know who have been. Then again I could be only seeing one side of the fence.


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## Mongo

Tude said:


> I agree @7xMichael - Time does heal



And if it doesn't 30 dicks can always close the wounds.

Too much?


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## Kim Chee

I guarantee you when a gay man overhears (or reads) another man mention stumbling into 30 different dicks he's going to get wood.

Something tells me a good looking guy such as yourself won't be single long.

How to get that 40 something milf to take you home, get you showered up and fed...this could help you get over that cockhound ex of yours


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## pigpen

I reckon infidelity is lame. But so is calling your ex partner a bitch and slut shaming them on a forum.


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## pigpen

People don't usually just walk away from mutually beneficial, happy relationships for no reason.

Bit sometimes they do. Fuckin people.


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## Deleted member 2626

Damn. I met a gal couple months ago. Crazy withoit boundaries. First day i met her we hung in my motel room and she pissed and talked in my bathroom with the door open. Ah yeah. Kinda chased her a bit. She drank a lot too. I am a loner with just my dog but would miss her. Something i hardly do fot.anyone. well she in jail now. For maybe two years. May hitch back to see her in fall. But yeah the fuck is putting it well. Like someone else said fuck humans. I meet cool girls a lot but am fine with walkimg rignt away. Just some the stars align i guess and you get passed being a misanthrope like myself. Good luck man. And yes stay single best way to be if your not completely running yout life by just pussy


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## Toasty Tramp

Belief is a funny thing. Ever notice how different things become once you truly believe it to be true? For example. I _believe _that some day, I'll settle down and marry. Its gonna happen, its just a matter of time. Dunno when, dunno where, dunno to whom, and I dunno for what reasons...I just _believe _that one day...I'll come across the woman I just _work _with, and we'll come together to do cool things for the rest of our lives. Simple.

Tonight has me wondering what she's up to. Like...I couldn't tell ya what she looks like, what she believes in, what her purpose in life is, or the things she hopes to do. I dunno the first fucking thing bout her, obviously, save for the fact that she exists, and she's most likely out there in the world _right now_, making all of those memories she'll make before the two of us finally travel down this crazy ass road of life long enough to collide and change each other forever.

I know the path I'm on, and I have extremely vague ideas as to where it's going to lead me. I know humans are intrinsically unique, and I know the same holds true for the path this mysterious woman is currently trekking. The curious part, however, lies in however the fuck we're gonna end up meeting. It could be ANYTHING AT ALL, but as long as it happens it'll be exactly the sort of thing that needed to happen. Tonight has me idly speculating on what that catastrophic event might actually _be._ Wonder how casual it'll seem on the surface to everybody involved, and how profoundly it'll change the two of our lives.

I've been single for four years, and like all of you guys continue to recommend -- I intend on remaining single. I just _know _that eventually that'll change, and I'm fascinated with pondering what it is about her that'll change that outlook. There'll be "something about her" that draws the attention...I'm just wondering _what. _For now, I'll party on and see what kinda shenanigans I can get in to. Another funny thing with _believing _that she'll eventually come is that it takes the stress off of trying to make it happen. I'm not worried about _when _it'll happen, cause I know it's already bound to go down. When the time is right, it's right. Til' then, I should probably focus on becoming the best package available for this mysterious woman who's on her mysterious path that I'm bound to collide with. Try to adventure outwards all vast and brilliant like, see if I can't learn a few things to bring to the table for whatever purpose we come together for sometime in the future.


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## XAlbertaWarriorWomenX

Aww i feel ya, crave da connection with my ex still, we seen one another for two months, become offical for 3 weeks. Believe you will find LOVE again, its best when you dont go looking for it,been single for a month and half now


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## Deleted member 13433

You have to do what your heart tells you to do.

I'm 5 months out of a highly toxic somewhat long distance relationship and truth be told I have never felt better - except when my last [I'm not even sure what to call her] split for greener pastures 3000 miles away and I got a dog out of the deal [wag wag......]

But seriously - I only had one relationship that worked, and sadly she took her life back in in Feb 1996, and truth be told I've never gotten over her.
What sucks is her dad - a man who considered me his son-in-law - just died too, glad I got to see him deliver a lecture on Mailer a few weeks prior to his passing...........

Of course, now that I am fully embracing the single life again - and actually I really don't feel single, I consider myself widowed [from 1996] because Leslie lives within my heart forever - now out of the blue, a hard core kayaker / enviromentalist has come into the picture and the best part of all is she is super independent - does everything herself, and is a little older - so there's a chance that might actually work.

Then again, I'm going free-diving this afternoon.
Foe me, there is no greater joy than being underwater even if it's just for a little while.
I found a place where the Atlantic Salmon come right up to me to say hello, it is truly as beautiful a place as anywhere on the blue planet.

Tell you what, if I meet the right fish, I ain't coming back........


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## Nelco

I've been single since late 2010...and an additional 3 years before that..and I live in scene kid central/bible belt so I'm just always kind of alone to the point that when I get around most other people its just awkward unless rlthey just get it. It's kinda neat watching other humans from a less adjusted perspective.


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## Rob Nothing

Otter Wolf!


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## Ande1968

the most un-explainable and over thought word in the English language, love. 
I can tell you from experience I have felt your pain, I have and still feel to this day the anger, rage pain and loss. It never really goes away, time does heal you however we all now if you considered her the one your heart, mind, body and soul will yearn for her for years and years to come. 

My first suggestion is to not blame yourself, understand this you were there and doing your part, she stopped doing her part; regardless of why or with whom it shouldn't matter. There is the poem about love, if it is love you let it go, if it was real it comes back if not it was never love or yours to begin with. 
I want you to know, no one on this site can ever come close to understanding your individual pain, we can only comment on our own and our personal experiences with lost love and how it affected us individually. 
Please don't take my reply as a sermon. Everyone on this planet has a story about the one that hurt the most. We pick our-self's up and start over and over and over.

May you seek and find solace during your journey's.


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## Sexyrexy1989

I feel for you man, I still miss my Ex-wife but not as much as i did right after the divorce. In the beginning i missed her every waking minute of the day, I tried to commit suicide. But as time went on my friends that missing her feeling became more and more distant now i only really think about her one in a great while.

It was an Alcohol and drug induced Romance in fact i think there wasent any point in our relationship were we were not intoxicated. i Have not talked to her in years last time i heard she remarried.

There are more fish in the sea my friend,good fish that will love you for what and who you are.

And that is what love is about.


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## PotBellyFatGuy

Andrea Van Scoyoc said:


> Just my .02...
> 
> STAY SINGLE!!!!
> 
> You'll be happier. I wanted nothing more than to be married and have kids.
> 
> Got both...married a much older man with five kids (can't have kids, myself) and enough drama with them to fill a couple of encyclopedia sized books.
> 
> Oh...how I wish I'd listened to my mother when she told me that I could get married when I had nothing else to do.
> 
> You have no idea what it means to be free...until you lose it.
> 
> @Odin ...best advice, ever. Jump on the merry go round and then jump off as fast as you can.
> 
> Peace!



this.

i don't mind the kids part or dealing with family. what i do mind is money and free time/work. i have worked with kids to teenagers for over a decade. it was some good stuff but a vast majority was just a nightmare. a child is a full time job. i mean not only do you fund that child financially but you must train him or her to grow into adulthood. that is a serious job 24/7. in return, you get some happiness i assume but mostly it is misery and stress up the wazoo. you don't have to stay single. date cougars so you know they won't get pregnant (if you like to come inside with no condom) or just use porn as there is zero risk of anything there and it's always free.

*nothing* in life is more important to me than freedom. if you share that datum, heed our words with great care.


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