# The balancing of life,



## Deleted member 20 (Aug 18, 2019)

Sup STPeeps? Its been awhile since I have had the energy, time or desire to post here. As with any connection to a community; people grow, evolve, stray & return. While I am no traveller purist who has ever advocated for ones continuous aimless wandering, I think that there are times in all of our journeys that we must get clarity from the road. I will have periods of my life dedicated to working, other chunks of time to travelling, some periods spent on activism & or volunteering or touring with bands. Other times I am writing or a combination of all & more. Most accurately I tend to go with the flow of the universe & immerse myself in whatever pastime or experience that I am involved in. This can be contradictory, convoluted & a mashup of stuff being experienced in my life. I have always valued the idea of living a well balanced life of simplicity & freedom. The reality is that situations dictate what I must focus on & what takes precedence. Family & responsibility to others is important if I wan't them in my life. I would always say that I am a long time, part time traveller & still subscribe to that partial assessment of myself. Here is the thing, I am a smorgasbord of different stuff, belonging to many communities simultaneously without needing to identify as either and only one specific thing or another. Update: I am alive & doing well. While I am aging & maturing well into my fourth plus decade at being alive, I feel occasionally disconnected from beloved groups that I was once more active. Traveling & STP being one of them. While I once sought the mastery of balance, today I simply accept that which I am involved in at present. People change, evolve, disappear & grow over time. Perhaps some of us have the clarity to take stock of our pasts and see such changes. Since my getting sober, over 5+ years ago, I have been getting better at being a person. Not necessarily for others directly but more so for myself. That may sound selfish but through the soul searching of ones moral inventory & past mistakes; a healing is possible. By healing I am able to be a better friend, acquaintance, husband, father to those around me. By being accountable & available to others today, my life has got better.

I returned to working for an income after 5 solid years without an income and living in voluntary poverty. This is not anything that others here have not done, but by raising a family, renting a longterm apartment with pets, plants, and other stuffs; it was difficult on others at times. So I returned to my most hated profession as a commercial fisherman; even returning to my previous boat. So we have been able to pay down all of our debt and start living with excess finances to buy useless junk again. My kid got a new computer, we are paying back friends & family; shit like that. With such evolution's comes changing of how time is spent. Since our time is our most important commodity I wrestle with the notion of it. But by spoiling my family with the basics that most capitalists enjoy isn't that bad. I hope such living experiment swill benefit my kid by showing that we all have choices in how we live, what we participate in and at what costs. I have been off the road for almost 2 years now but yet my pack is still ready to go. For those who are unsure about choosing between the polarities of travelling & or settling down; dont fret. One can do one, both or land somewhere in between, I did. I know that I will travel again and hopefully be self contained so that my wife & dog are with me. They have never traveled and do not have the bug, like me. But as we adjust to our chosen stationary life or when they routinely adjusted to me traveling for months at a time; hopefully over time we can retire from the apartment life together. Maybe we can build a bus or buy an RV some day. Maybe that which I do today will allow for us to save up money towards that eventual goal. Maybe this will never happen. Maybe I will get lost in time & get killed out fishing, maybe one of us will get sick? Maybe our teenager will never leave the nest? Well, regardless of what an uncertain future brings me and mine; know this. I haven't forgot how to hitchhike, hop trains & survive being free while out on the road. I am just seeking balance where I am today. While things are balancing themselves out in my sedimentary life today, I know that if I ever need to recharge my batteries. My bag is always packed and maybe the pursuit of said balance and or direction requires my getting lost again.


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## Fuzzypeach (Aug 18, 2019)

highwayman said:


> Sup STPeeps? Its been awhile since I have had the energy, time or desire to post here. As with any connection to a community; people grow, evolve, stray & return. While I am no traveller purist who has ever advocated for ones continuous aimless wandering, I think that there are times in all of our journeys that we must get clarity from the road. I will have periods of my life dedicated to working, other chunks of time to travelling, some periods spent on activism & or volunteering or touring with bands. Other times I am writing or a combination of all & more. Most accurately I tend to go with the flow of the universe & immerse myself in whatever pastime or experience that I am involved in. This can be contradictory, convoluted & a mashup of stuff being experienced in my life. I have always valued the idea of living a well balanced life of simplicity & freedom. The reality is that situations dictate what I must focus on & what takes precedence. Family & responsibility to others is important if I wan't them in my life. I would always say that I am a long time, part time traveller & still subscribe to that partial assessment of myself. Here is the thing, I am a smorgasbord of different stuff, belonging to many communities simultaneously without needing to identify as either and only one specific thing or another. Update: I am alive & doing well. While I am aging & maturing well into my fourth plus decade at being alive, I feel occasionally disconnected from beloved groups that I was once more active. Traveling & STP being one of them. While I once sought the mastery of balance, today I simply accept that which I am involved in at present. People change, evolve, disappear & grow over time. Perhaps some of us have the clarity to take stock of our pasts and see such changes. Since my getting sober, over 5+ years ago, I have been getting better at being a person. Not necessarily for others directly but more so for myself. That may sound selfish but through the soul searching of ones moral inventory & past mistakes; a healing is possible. By healing I am able to be a better friend, acquaintance, husband, father to those around me. By being accountable & available to others today, my life has got better.
> 
> I returned to working for an income after 5 solid years without an income and living in voluntary poverty. This is not anything that others here have not done, but by raising a family, renting a longterm apartment with pets, plants, and other stuffs; it was difficult on others at times. So I returned to my most hated profession as a commercial fisherman; even returning to my previous boat. So we have been able to pay down all of our debt and start living with excess finances to buy useless junk again. My kid got a new computer, we are paying back friends & family; shit like that. With such evolution's comes changing of how time is spent. Since our time is our most important commodity I wrestle with the notion of it. But by spoiling my family with the basics that most capitalists enjoy isn't that bad. I hope such living experiment swill benefit my kid by showing that we all have choices in how we live, what we participate in and at what costs. I have been off the road for almost 2 years now but yet my pack is still ready to go. For those who are unsure about choosing between the polarities of travelling & or settling down; dont fret. One can do one, both or land somewhere in between, I did. I know that I will travel again and hopefully be self contained so that my wife & dog are with me. They have never traveled and do not have the bug, like me. But as we adjust to our chosen stationary life or when they routinely adjusted to me traveling for months at a time; hopefully over time we can retire from the apartment life together. Maybe we can build a bus or buy an RV some day. Maybe that which I do today will allow for us to save up money towards that eventual goal. Maybe this will never happen. Maybe I will get lost in time & get killed out fishing, maybe one of us will get sick? Maybe our teenager will never leave the nest? Well, regardless of what an uncertain future brings me and mine; know this. I haven't forgot how to hitchhike, hop trains & survive being free while out on the road. I am just seeking balance where I am today. While things are balancing themselves out in my sedimentary life today, I know that if I ever need to recharge my batteries. My bag is always packed and maybe the pursuit of said balance and or direction requires my getting lost again.
> 
> View attachment 52561


Wow, a very insightful post. I too, have bounced between Babylon ( workin' for da man.) and freedom. It is nothing to apologize for. Mine were driven by layoffs ( the airlines are constantly laying people off). However the time not immersed in the fray forced me to stop indentifying with my job and title. I steeped back and notice how those still in Babylon compete with each other and talk about their possessions and achievements. I now listen to them with detachment and have no need to compete with them anymore. I just hope that someday we will be able to have a better option than slave to the system, or destitution.


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## Deleted member 24782 (Aug 19, 2019)

Great post. Your a 3 dimensional person who is not accountable to anyone! (on this forum at least...)


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## Groundscore (Aug 24, 2019)

Life is probably best when balanced; I know mine has always been that way. If I do too much of this, too little of that, it is as if my soul gets out of alignment or something. When I do what makes me happy life is WAY better.

Congrats on doing what makes you happy in this stage of your life. Many people never do, often from a lack of trying or caring. And like you said; you have your skill set that won't go away no matter what life throws at you. That's a great attitude and outlook to have! Good luck in your journeys ahead.


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## Xxcooltoesxx (Oct 4, 2019)

Congratulations on finding a balance in your life finding a happy medium ,nice your not traveling as of right now,sounds good to me,Keep it up.


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