# Being a Female Alone on the Road Comes With Constant Harassment



## Shwhiskey Gumimaci

*I am editing this because I'm pretty sure people have gotten the wrong idea about what I have posted. All the examples in this post are separate things. This did not all happen at one time. I'm just fed up with everything. This post was inspired by a particularily big asshole last night. This is more of a rant than anything else. Sorry if it seemed misleading* For the past 3 months I've been traveling, for the most part, on my own because I was getting tired of road dogs., As a female I am constantly bombarded with confessions of love, crude comments and actions, and rape attempts. It's sad I have to expect this kind of treatment if I don't have someone to "protect" me. I even have to accept that's just how it's gonna be. I'm getting tired. So tired. I feel like I don't even have the energy to tell people to fuck off anymore. I mean half the guys out here don't even get the hint when you punch them in the face and split their lip open. I shouldn't have to fight people so they don't touch me. I want to be able to go into a city and meet new friends and have fun. Is that really too hard? Is it too much to ask for? I like traveling on my own, I don't want to be practically forced to have a road dog just to avoid this treatment. I love this culture we live in, but it's so hard sometimes. I'm sorry if this wasn't a great post. I just needed some place to put my thoughts.


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## Deleted member 125

unfortunetly yer not the first person (and not the last either) to experience harassment as a lone female traveler. do i acknowledge that its a huge fucking problem? hell yes. do i have a solution to get men to stop being pigs when they feel they can take advantage of someone? no, im sorry i dont. i think even in our culture alot of people say one thing and act a different way when it may benefit them and that includes harassing females. its down right disquesting but again, i dont have a solution for you other then saying im sorry yer going through this shit. its in no way fair.

i guess my best advice would be to keep yer head up. its not fair that as a female you have to watch yer back more.


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## Kim Chee

Sorry about all you've been through.

You'd probably benefit from getting a good female roaddog though.

I wish there was a simpler solution and there's still no guarantees in an uncivilized society.


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## Vagabond82

The last time I was in Los Angeles a few years ago, I witnessed a woman being assaulted. Grabbed the guy threw him off, and gave her support until EMT's could arrive, however I was also temporarily arrested because of it, because in a bit of anger I gave the guy a beating. It's a rough world, and like Kim Chee said, it might be a good idea to have a companion with you just like a buddy system, when one is in trouble the other is there to help for backup and support.


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## beersalt

I feel you, darlin'.
Unfortunately, even aside from living life on the road-
When I was paying rent and going to a job, being perceived as female in any public place automatically attracts scrutiny, and unnecessary comments, impeding stares, etc.
Always being on guard with caution, because you aren't aware if a person is actually having a conversation because they are genuinely interested, or simply because they like the way you look; and have some type of ulterior motive. 
Myself, and our comrades are trying to change this. We are all striving for general respect until proven undeserving. Fuck being objectified-
But, it happens. And it happens constantly. So, while being aware of this, I refused to go out on the road without a companion. Figured it wouldn't be human, because I tend to prefer to experience things alone the majority of the time. But found for my well being emotionally, and physically, having a dog with me that could tear apart any predator; as well as my own strength, would be extremely beneficial. And help detour a good amount of fuckheads that were too stupid to be intimidated by me, and my knife alone.
You're nothing to be reckoned with. Some just need an extra deterrent to get that.
Hopefully it won't always be this way..
I know you got a street cat, who's a tough muthafucka. And so are you! 
Good luck, yo.
Stay strong.


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## EphemeralStick

Oh dear... Maci, I hope you know you're my favorite new friend. 
It's not fair that we live in a world as fucked up as it is where people have to be on constant guard. You're right, you should be able to travel alone without being constantly harassed. You shouldn't have to be afraid of drinking for fear of rape. You shouldn't have to feel objectified or that your boundaries are being ignored.

One thing I'll never understand is how someone (i.e. men) can feel that they are entitled to touching another person (i.e. women). I like to think that we as a community have our heads on straight but there will always be scumbags I suppose. The amount of freedom travelers have can get to peoples heads, it's easy for asshole to continue their behavior when there isn't any accountability. 

The only way to deal with people like that I found is to dis-empower them. Unfortunately there's no guide book on how to do that and instead you have to take it case by case. However it can be done. It's tiring, and honestly most of the time it seems fruitless. But don't give up just yet. Don't stop making your boundaries known, don't stop punching grabby assholes. Most of all, stick up for any person you see in a vulnerable position. Lift up other victims and you'll find they'll lift you up too. We're in this shitty world together after all.



I will *always* have your back.


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## spectacular

Whoo yeah, as a traveling female who's also been involved in many coercive sex encounters, one of which resulted in my current pregnancy, I can really identify. Getting pregnant has really clarified a few things for me though:

1 none of the people who want sexual encounters care about you or want to teach you anything in any way. They want to get off. Coercion on the males behalf is almost always emotional and has nothing to do with what the female is actually feeling but instead a few things he's noticed here and there and a couple of tricks he's picked up from his friends.

2. Public alcoholism is not something you "should" feel safe doing even under the pretense that you should feel safe. Cause you aren't nor ever will be safe, especially stumbling alone with no place to go. You are a prime target. I suggest switching to weed or, if you must be an alcoholic, getting that bottle and finding a place deep in the cut where it will be very hard to find you, getting drunk there, and reemerging when sober.

3. You love this culture... Denial! You don't love this culture, you enjoy parts of it. You love your self. It's what you do. Your primary allegiance is to you. My primary allegiance is to myself. I like what I enjoy. Love is too strong a word most of the time.

4. At the end of the day, nobody gives a shit about you. They can care about you up to 11pm but when that clock strikes 11:01 they will leave you to fend for yourself. It's only natural and to be expected since people have to take care of themselves too, and simply cannot do so when they have someone else to care for. Think of all the hours up until 11pm as childhood. It's 11:01 once you're an adult.

5. Don't be aggressive with approaching males. Men are more aggressive than women and see most encounters in terms of winning or losing when it comes to sex. Your aggression means an automatic win. They can toy you with you now and reap the benefits of your feelings of having to "make it up" to them. And so you don't have the energy to fight back anymore? Sounds like you may be trying to make up for past aggressions. I suggest forgiving yourself and carrying a can of mace for the really dogged pursuers. It's best to not say anything at all if he doesn't respect the first polite "no." Just know that guys who don't respect that are 1. Slime, 2. Only interested in sadistic domination and getting off no matter how many nicey faces he makes at you. Fuck that smile...With some mace

6. "You don't know what you want" no, sure don't, but I know what I don't want and that is another forced, tired, painful sexual encounter with someone I just met

I don't know what to say to help you. Sometimes the best medicine is a doozy, and that's what it may take for you, but I thought I'd give it a shot.


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## ped

a million years of trying to propagate the genome have caused males to want to have sex. shocker, I know.


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## spectacular

ped said:


> a million years of trying to propagate the genome have caused males to want to have sex. shocker, I know.


Yeah, best to just accept this and not feel anything when this kind of entitlement is directed towards you. Move on.


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## ped

^ that's how you exist now


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## Deleted member 125

ped said:


> a million years of trying to propagate the genome have caused males to want to have sex. shocker, I know.



what exactly in the fuck are you trying to accomplish by posting something like this in a thread like this?


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## ped

by "this" you mean basic truth for all living things in the universe?


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## Deleted member 125

ped said:


> by "this" you mean basic truth for all living things in the universe?



that "basic" truth being that its ok for men to haress women? thats a seriously fucked up attitude especially regarding the OP's initial post about how they feel unsafe on the road, im assuming its people like you that she is refering to. extremly fucking innappropiate man. i dont know if you just like to stir up shit or if you genuinely beleive the stuff you say but you should think before posting stuff like that man.


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## spectacular

Here's another basic truth inherent to the rules of the universe: a million years of being fucked every which way has caused exhaustion of sexual interest in women


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## ped

6+ billion people alive says otherwise


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## spectacular

ped said:


> 6+ billion people alive says otherwise


Coercion says 6+ billion people alive. Like every woman who's recently reproduced was just skipping through fields drenched in sunshine when she saw her baby making mate and joyful sparks flew and her egghole opened for his sperm hose and another beautiful baby was made in the name of passion, joy, and love!


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## ped

All sex is a rape, male sexuality is wrong and ugly.


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## spectacular

That's what ped said


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## Kim Chee

ped said:


> All sex is a rape, male sexuality is wrong and ugly.



I couldn't think of a more embarrassing thing for you to say.

You might want to stick to penis stroking to avoid committing a sex crime, ped.


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## ped

Translation - if I sympathize with her maybe I can have sex with her


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## tacopirate

What the hell??!!


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## spectacular

ped said:


> Translation - if I sympathize with her maybe I can have sex with her





ped said:


> a million years of trying to propagate the genome have caused males to want to have sex. shocker, I know.


Translation: if I mow over her self expression with sarcastically expressed factoids, I can undermine her entitlement to express herself and use her anger to guilt her into another unwanted sexual encounter


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## ped

You know what else has a rape vibe? Rain. 

It's like come on rain I don't want to get wet. But it just persists.


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## Deleted member 125

ped said:


> You know what else has a rape vibe? Rain.
> 
> It's like come on rain I don't want to get wet. But it just persists.



ide say youv made yer point. we get it, you have no positive input and just seem to be posting whats basically bullshit to up yer post count in a thread started by somebody who doesnt feel safe because of people like you. have some fucking respect.


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## ped

but if I'm nice to her it's only because I want sex too.

when you think about it that's really the most creepy way to go about it......*ahem* kimchee


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## Kim Chee

ped said:


> but if I'm nice to her it's only because I want sex too.
> 
> when you think about it that's really the most creepy way to go about it......*ahem* kimchee



LoL. I'm married.

On topic:
One less rapist enabler-sympathizer in this community.


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## Vagabond82

Was starting to wonder when that would happen


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## Deleted member 125

Vagabond82 said:


> Was starting to wonder when that would happen



that kind of bullshit will not be tolerated. period. big thanks to @EphemeralStick hopefully now we can get back onto the original topic of the thread.


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## deleted user

ped said:


> by "this" you mean basic truth for all living things in the universe?



https://www.google.com/search?q=bat...d=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8#imgrc=eMslE7ULgk1rnM:

The whole universe?


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## TheChad

Shwhiskey Gumimaci said:


> *I am editing this because I'm pretty sure people have gotten the wrong idea about what I have posted. All the examples in this post are separate things. This did not all happen at one time. I'm just fed up with everything. This post was inspired by a particularily big asshole last night. This is more of a rant than anything else. Sorry if it seemed misleading* For the past 3 months I've been traveling, for the most part, on my own because I was getting tired of road dogs., As a female I am constantly bombarded with confessions of love, crude comments and actions, and rape attempts. It's sad I have to expect this kind of treatment if I don't have someone to "protect" me. I even have to accept that's just how it's gonna be. I'm getting tired. So tired. I feel like I don't even have the energy to tell people to fuck off anymore. I mean half the guys out here don't even get the hint when you punch them in the face and split their lip open. I shouldn't have to fight people so they don't touch me. I want to be able to go into a city and meet new friends and have fun. Is that really too hard? Is it too much to ask for? I like traveling on my own, I don't want to be practically forced to have a road dog just to avoid this treatment. I love this culture we live in, but it's so hard sometimes. I'm sorry if this wasn't a great post. I just needed some place to put my thoughts.



Im sorry you have been through this. I hear a lot of the same from other female wanderers... I wish you could meet a solid person who didn't leave you wondering... But from the sounds of everything... Thats going to be a hard sale for anyone. Dont let people fuck you up, and get you down. Every new person is a new chance. you can't hold against someone something that another did. With that said, and I know you know this... Don't let people take advantage and let you down over and over. Life is too fucking short.


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## beersalt

Ped: as in pedophile? You fucking piece of shit! I'm not trying to be a flamer here but goddamn, how can you be such a douche in such a small amount of words? People like you! That's what's wrong with this world.


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## beersalt

EphemeralStick said:


> Oh dear... Maci, I hope you know you're my favorite new friend.
> It's not fair that we live in a world as fucked up as it is where people have to be on constant guard. You're right, you should be able to travel alone without being constantly harassed. You shouldn't have to be afraid of drinking for fear of rape. You shouldn't have to feel objectified or that your boundaries are being ignored.
> 
> One thing I'll never understand is how someone (i.e. men) can feel that they are entitled to touching another person (i.e. women). I like to think that we as a community have our heads on straight but there will always be scumbags I suppose. The amount of freedom travelers have can get to peoples heads, it's easy for asshole to continue their behavior when there isn't any accountability.
> 
> The only way to deal with people like that I found is to dis-empower them. Unfortunately there's no guide book on how to do that and instead you have to take it case by case. However it can be done. It's tiring, and honestly most of the time it seems fruitless. But don't give up just yet. Don't stop making your boundaries known, don't stop punching grabby assholes. Most of all, stick up for any person you see in a vulnerable position. Lift up other victims and you'll find they'll lift you up too. We're in this shitty world together after all.
> 
> 
> 
> I will *always* have your back.



THIS. I will always have your back as well maci!


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## tacopirate

Yeah maci, sorry to hear about that garbage. You're a tough one for sure.


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## Koala

Hey @Shwhiskey Gumimaci thank you for posting this and bringing it up. I'm so sorry you've had so many bad experiences out there.

I've experienced some dudes who think they're entitled to me as well, although nothing more than a grab on the knee/hand/shoulder, an assumption that I want to get dinner and spend more time with them, and of course invitations to suck their dicks. But that's still more than I wish to go through. And none of us ladies should ever have to go through that. We're strong and independent being out there on our own, and believe it or not we're usually not wandering around looking to have sex with randoms! Shocker, haha. When I have bad/gross encounters, I just try to put the dudes in their place and tell them how bad the thing was that they just tried to do, and tell them to never touch anyone ever again without asking, etc. just in hopes that they'll never do it to another lady.

Stay strong out there


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## deleted user

stupid mysoginistic retoric is an easy route to understand the "universe" (yes, the entire plain of existence not including other possible dimensions and the limitness of imagination)

Anyway, stay safe, men aren't monsters but it can be completely nessasary to proseed as if they are.


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## spectacular

Rapist turd who lives in a van comparing himself and the urge to get his dick wet to rain, love it. Baby oil works. Here's hoping ped doesn't meet a man or woman as desperate as he is to rain on his parade. Rain indeed, hey we all have drives.


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## tacopirate

Reminds me of all the times that my wife has been out flying a sign and guys will pull over and offer her money for sex. She had one guy stop 2 or 3 times trying to get laid. I guess because she looked homeless they assumed she was a hooker? 

BTW good post, spectacular


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## Tude

I started to post something this morning and then got torn away to do stuff and then came back to a mix of good things and one ex-member's freaking crap. I am so sorry for this. You, as a female, or a male - whether sole traveler or not, should not have to deal with this - but unfortunately you may. I know you have written you are tired of a road dog, but in lieu of some circumstances perhaps another female or more may help. I moderate another traveling group and have a couple of lone female travelers atm. I have contacted one person to see where she is and how she is traveling, but there are more options as well. Do let me know if you are interested and I hope you are well because we care.


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## FrumpyWatkins

Lol dude tried to compare procreation to rape


ped said:


> a million years of trying to propagate the genome have caused males to want to have sex. shocker, I know.



That doesn't mean you try and stick your dick in any living creature you nut. Everyone has desires, men and women, but that doesn't justify acting like a rapey weirdo.


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## Grubblin

I'm sorry that you've had to go through what you have. You're right you shouldn't have to put up with any of that. Then you get on here to vent and some other asshole says what he did, which is probably the last thing you needed to 'hear'. Those problems are all his own, don't pay any attention to that.

You apologized for this not being a great post but I disagree with you on that point. I think many people, particularly the young idealistic crowd look at the amazing, adventurous side of traveling when they're just starting out, or thinking of starting. If they give any thought to the darker dangerous side, the side that can get them killed or worse, its an afterthought along the lines of "yeah, that can happen but it won't happen to me". I think maybe your post and the replies it generated will give women pause enough to help them avoid, as much as possible, some of the things that have happened you. That's what I think this site is here for - to help other people and most of the time that's what I see. So thanks for posting, that couldn't have been easy. I hope that karma does you right on this one and things get easier for you.


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## Domm

I feel your pain as AFAB. I've been sexually harassed numerous times just walking down the street (almost got jumped last week just walking up and down the block), even in the middle of the day. I think our sexually-based culture and pornography has a lot to do with dehumanizing women and desensitizing men to sexual violence. The only thing we can do is arm ourselves and trust our guts, but even that isn't foolproof sometimes. May your future travels be pervert free.


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## Menika

ped said:


> All sex is a rape, male sexuality is wrong and ugly.


Really? Are you just an asexual being who believes the human race should stop reproducing and die off?


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## Deleted member 125

just a quick heads up, user "ped" has been banned so they can not see or respond to messages directed at them.


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## Durp

wtf? Sorry your post got hi-jacked. Man what an asshole, sort of funny he got banned.

Are you responsible enough to train and care for a dog? If so get a big scary looking rescue doggy. Train it to snarl and growl with one command that's discrete, and another for attack. The dog just being there is usually enough to keep away trouble. A dog that can be mean is your best asset/ friend on the road. Will keep you from freezing to death too if you get caught out in bad weather, put the dog in your sleeping bag, and crawl in. Am I trying to laid now too? lol 

Are most guys really that bad? Have to say, women do think guys are coming on to them a lot when they truly have no interest. I have been accused of making moves by creatures no amount of booze, money, blindfolds, and Viagra would have gotten it up. I have never been un-attached for more then a couple weeks since I fist got laid, and am only into women that take charge, so I must be out of touch. So glad I am partnered up. I really don't get it. If you just do something cool, are friendly, don't talk too much, interested women just gravitate to ya. Here is a little tip young single guys, the less desperate you seem, the more likely you are to get laid. Is mutual consent all that hard of a concept to get?


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## wildwerden

I feel a lot safer when I have my dog with me. She's not particularly fond of strangers which makes it really nice keeping perverts the fuck away from me. She's small but goes nuts lunging, barking, growling, snarling. She scared off four cops for me a few nights ago. But I do need to work on her not spazzing out on every single stranger, just the ones I don't like. Dogs are better road dogs... they don't talk back or betray you. I'm sorry you're getting the rough of it though, it's pretty harsh out there sometimes.


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## Shwhiskey Gumimaci

Tude said:


> I started to post something this morning and then got torn away to do stuff and then came back to a mix of good things and one ex-member's freaking crap. I am so sorry for this. You, as a female, or a male - whether sole traveler or not, should not have to deal with this - but unfortunately you may. I know you have written you are tired of a road dog, but in lieu of some circumstances perhaps another female or more may help. I moderate another traveling group and have a couple of lone female travelers atm. I have contacted one person to see where she is and how she is traveling, but there are more options as well. Do let me know if you are interested and I hope you are well because we care.


My favorite road dog crew was 2 females. We were a power crew. I just need to find some more women or woman like that. Can be hard to find people to click with


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## Shwhiskey Gumimaci

Durp said:


> wtf? Sorry your post got hi-jacked. Man what an asshole, sort of funny he got banned.
> 
> Are you responsible enough to train and care for a dog? If so get a big scary looking rescue doggy. Train it to snarl and growl with one command that's discrete, and another for attack. The dog just being there is usually enough to keep away trouble. A dog that can be mean is your best asset/ friend on the road. Will keep you from freezing to death too if you get caught out in bad weather, put the dog in your sleeping bag, and crawl in. Am I trying to laid now too? lol
> 
> Are most guys really that bad? Have to say, women do think guys are coming on to them a lot when they truly have no interest. I have been accused of making moves by creatures no amount of booze, money, blindfolds, and Viagra would have gotten it up. I have never been un-attached for more then a couple weeks since I fist got laid, and am only into women that take charge, so I must be out of touch. So glad I am partnered up. I really don't get it. If you just do something cool, are friendly, don't talk too much, interested women just gravitate to ya. Here is a little tip young single guys, the less desperate you seem, the more likely you are to get laid. Is mutual consent all that hard of a concept to get?


I have a cat. I don't think I could handle another animal I appreciate your input though


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## Shwhiskey Gumimaci

By the way @cantcureherpes and @EphemeralStick thanks for helping ban that asshole ped. Andy I know your always looking out for me. Love you


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## Deleted member 125

Shwhiskey Gumimaci said:


> By the way @cantcureherpes and @EphemeralStick thanks for helping ban that asshole ped. Andy I know your always looking out for me. Love you



thank @Kim Chee and the rest of the mods. i just have a big mouth, but i hope you find what you need to feel safe again.


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## freegander

i'm so glad this thread exists. i think we need to have more discussions about feminism and minority issues surrounding the traveling lifestyle. 

to all the women/trans/non-binary folk reading this: your feelings are valid and you deserve to feel safe. please reach out to trusted friends for support and help. the patriarchy is exhausting, but you don't have to fight it alone.

i had the misfortune of meeting ped irl, cause i wanted to buy his van. turns out he isn't actually selling and suggested i travel with him and his dog instead. i had avoided this site for a while after that because i felt that it was a reflection of the entire community, but i am pleased to return and find him banned. i am really grateful the mods here don't tolerate these statements. 

much love to you @Shwhiskey Gumimaci. i appreciate your boldness and support you in every effort to regain your sense of safety.


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## Deleted member 125

freegander said:


> i'm so glad this thread exists. i think we need to have more discussions about feminism and minority issues surrounding the traveling lifestyle.
> 
> to all the women/trans/non-binary folk reading this: your feelings are valid and you deserve to feel safe. please reach out to trusted friends for support and help. the patriarchy is exhausting, but you don't have to fight it alone.
> 
> i had the misfortune of meeting ped irl, cause i wanted to buy his van. turns out he isn't actually selling and suggested i travel with him and his dog instead. i had avoided this site for a while after that because i felt that it was a reflection of the entire community, but i am pleased to return and find him banned. i am really grateful the mods here don't tolerate these statements.
> 
> much love to you @Shwhiskey Gumimaci. i appreciate your boldness and support you in every effort to regain your sense of safety.



wow that is extremly creepy about meeting him and what happend! and im sorry that for a while you thought that he was a good reflection of this website/travelers in general. but i hope you know folks like him do not speak for the majority of the community, that dudes is just a creepy bad apple.


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## Dmac

@freegander What? He had his van listed for sale on Craigslist, but claimed to not be selling when you showed up to see it? That's sketchy. I think an episode of Criminal Minds started like that. Good thing you did not buy into it.


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## Desperado Deluxe

Being a female on the road comes with constant harassment... Really? Thats some great publicity for women who are interested in this lifestyle. @Shwhiskey Gumimaci you ever think that how you conduct yourself might have something to do with how your treated? Do you think being super drunk all the time with your boobs falling out of your shirt whilst hanging out with all the schwilly fucks on decatur street is going to deter creepos? Yea i saw you in nola last mardi gras and i know that was last year but from the looks of it you havent changed. Im not coming to the defense of creepy assholes or anything in fact i probably hate them as much as anyone else but they exist none the less. Getting schwilly and fucked up all the time without any thought about who your with and whats going on is just irresponsible. This is the real world out here darlin and fucked up shit happens, its not some drainbow fantasy land where everything is all sugar plum fairy nonesense. You must be on your toes so good luck with that.


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## freegander

cantcureherpes said:


> wow that is extremly creepy about meeting him and what happend! and im sorry that for a while you thought that he was a good reflection of this website/travelers in general. but i hope you know folks like him do not speak for the majority of the community, that dudes is just a creepy bad apple.



i hope so. but a lot of stuff on this forum makes me feel kinda weird, honestly. i guess that's to be expected from a site that is primarily male. and certainly this experience has colored my perception more than anything at the moment. 



Dmac said:


> @freegander What? He had his van listed for sale on Craigslist, but claimed to not be selling when you showed up to see it? That's sketchy. I think an episode of Criminal Minds started like that. Good thing you did not buy into it.



nah, it's more complex than that. he had it listed here in the black market and was definitely going to sell it to me when i showed up. but i've never bought a vehicle before, so i said i wanted to buy it, i just need a bit to figure out insurance stuff, which ended up being a lot more complicated than i thought. about a week later, i posted a thread here about auto mechanics and how i wanted to learn more. the next day i ask him when i could buy the van and his reply was "you don't want the van." i was really confused but he was all patronizing, telling me that i wouldn't be able to deal with it when it breaks down and i should just buy a pop-up camper instead, arguing with me about what i really want. then he said "how about we go tandem and you hold my dog while i drive ".....to which i refused. haven't heard from him since.


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## Kim Chee

@Lightning Samurai, this isn't your opportunity to try to shame somebody else. 

If you would like to create a thread about how to avoid letting alcohol cause a problem while on the road, that would be great.


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## freegander

Lightning Samurai said:


> Im not coming to the defense of creepy assholes or anything



actually, you are. 

there are ways to say "be safe", without putting all the blame on the victim. 

there are ways to encourage responsibility, without suggesting that a person deserves harassment. 

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=how+not+to+victim+blame


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## Shwhiskey Gumimaci

Lightning Samurai said:


> Being a female on the road comes with constant harassment... Really? Thats some great publicity for women who are interested in this lifestyle. @Shwhiskey Gumimaci you ever think that how you conduct yourself might have something to do with how your treated? Do you think being super drunk all the time with your boobs falling out of your shirt whilst hanging out with all the schwilly fucks on decatur street is going to deter creepos? Yea i saw you in nola last mardi gras and i know that was last year but from the looks of it you havent changed. Im not coming to the defense of creepy assholes or anything in fact i probably hate them as much as anyone else but they exist none the less. Getting schwilly and fucked up all the time without any thought about who your with and whats going on is just irresponsible. This is the real world out here darlin and fucked up shit happens, its not some drainbow fantasy land where everything is all sugar plum fairy nonesense. You must be on your toes so good luck with that.


Dude I've never been to Mardi Gras. Last year I was in Alabama with my boyfriend. The first time I ever even went to Nola was this past November. The only time actually. Who the fuck are you anyways?


----------



## Desperado Deluxe

freegander said:


> actually, you are.
> 
> there are ways to say "be safe", without putting all the blame on the victim.
> 
> there are ways to encourage responsibility, without suggesting that a person deserves harassment.
> 
> http://lmgtfy.com/?q=how+not+to+victim+blame


Sure i get it freak shit happens you get mugged, raped, what have you experience beyond your control. but when you repeatedly put yourself in a bad situation you must take at least some resposibility for yourself.
I dont believe anyone should be raped or abused but people who do that shit exist and its a fucking reality and steps should be taken to avoid that shit just like anything else.


----------



## Desperado Deluxe

Shwhiskey Gumimaci said:


> Dude I've never been to Mardi Gras. Last year I was in Alabama with my boyfriend. The first time I ever even went to Nola was this past November. The only time actually. Who the fuck are you anyways?


It was probably wrong for me to assume but i honestly dont believe you. why do you want to know who i am if you werent there?


----------



## EphemeralStick

@Lightning Samurai 

Probably because you antagonized her right off the bat before trying to confirm if she was the actual person you were thinking of? 

Keep it civil.


----------



## Desperado Deluxe

Well im just an asshole with a resentment twoards women due to the abuse that ive suffered from them over the years. Some of it my fault some of it not. At least i can accept that some of its my fault. Thats who i am. This thread reeks of man hate imo.


----------



## Deleted member 125

Lightning Samurai said:


> Well im just an asshole with a resentment twoards women due to the abuse that ive suffered from them over the years. Some of it my fault some of it not. At least i can accept that some of its my fault. Thats who i am. This thread reeks of man hate imo.



the thread doesnt reek of man hate, yer responses just reek of bullshit that have very little to contribute to the OP's thread. if you have issues with resentment to women why not make yer own thread explaining how you feel justified in yer feelings instead of hi jacking this persons thread.


----------



## Shwhiskey Gumimaci

@Lightning Samurai It's laughable that all you got out of this post is a loose whore talking about being harassed who hates men and drinks too much alcohol. Oh and also assumed I was someone completely different and made offensive comments because of your assumption. I have nothing, absolutely nothing against men. That's why the majority of road dogs I've ever had were men. But the difference between the men I've traveled with and the men I'm mentioning in my post is that with my road dogs they would never assume that because I'm spending time with them and want to be around them as human beings that they some how have a right to have sex with me. There are a lot of decent, good guys on the road. This post isn't about them though. It's about my personal struggles as a lone female traveler. You obviously have some issues with women and I think you're projecting them onto me and might even feel attacked by this post. I understand there are things I could do to avoid being subjected to the behavior I deal with, but it comes down to the simple fact "no" means "no". Taking advantage of someone is NEVER okay. There's no excuse. This is not feminist propaganda, this is just decent human behavior


----------



## Desperado Deluxe

cantcureherpes said:


> the thread doesnt reek of man hate, yer responses just reek of bullshit that have very little to contribute to the OP's thread. if you have issues with resentment to women why not make yer own thread explaining how you feel justified in yer feelings instead of hi jacking this persons thread for.


Thats why i said imo (in my opinion). The op is just a rant anyway and honestly i dont think its very beneficial to the community as said in the opening sentence in my op. (Not that she shouldnt be able to post, but shouldnt i be able to call bullshit from what i believe to be relevant experience as well? Isnt that what makes us grow as human beings? Instead of just blindly fallowing what someone said?) I already said my justifications in that i take accountability for allowing myself to be abused. Furthermore I dont even want to feel that way about women but sadly i do because of my experiences. So whatevs thats my problem to deal with and i wouldnt have even gotten in the mix if i didnt have what i believe to be relevant experience. And does anyone actually know her well enough to be able to say what i said isnt true? She could be lieing did you even consider that?
Sorry if i came off vehement but frankly im at a point in my life where im sick of bullshit. And im sorry if i dragged any of my personal emotion into the mix.


----------



## hahahaimnoone

tacopirate said:


> What the hell??!!


I NAM AVAIL NOW... GOT A FURY THE BLADE 65532 $5 OBO 9703080060


----------



## hahahaimnoone

WHORES UP PIMPS DOWN. MY BETS ON THE FKN RAIDERS OF THE KNOT SO LOST ARC... WHATCH OUT IF U TRY THE BACK DOOR. MY BOOBIE TRAPS ARE OUT OF THIS WORLD


----------



## deleted user

@Lightning Samurai if growing as human beings is our objective, which I think it is, you should read abit about blaming the victim as stated before to have a groundedness to something neither of us will ever really understand. Something that has had the time taken to be expressed but not read. 

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&sou...bqoukq2FSEEzKarcw&sig2=evaFQuBQYe0ADENG6JKFqg

This one is pretty good

Further, people hurt us, but it's not enough to blame a group of people I.e. women. 

However, being subjected to violation warrents a thread+, and further still, Dispite maybe seeming one sided, their is no man hating here. Even if there was, which maybe can be preserved, it would be fustration boiling over. But from what I'm looking at, not really. If their is, it's pretty easy to understand and silly to be defensive about. 

Their are tendencies fostered everywhere in this culture consistently that are acted out and for men. As apposed to the abuse that can happen to men from women, we can walk away from it. 

We don't get forced, pregnant or killed.
I can't imagine your abuse ranking in this way. You WHERE able to take accountability because being destroyed was not a variable when you presude these women. Only thing getting hurt was your heart, not your body.

Further These women clearly described not presueing anything physical or romantic. Who is accountable to that? Their wardrobe or drinking, "shouldn't have known better/the real world sweetheart"? Fuck no, THiiiinnnk, really think whos getting an excuse here. How is it man hating when it's a serious concern (about a demographic of certain men)? What do you add to aiding women against monsters? 

Dog owning techniques? Buddy system ideas? Support? Weapon advice?
No, they are lying, this has never happened to anyone.
As far as @Shwhiskey Gumimaci I have meet her and would say she is a pretty cool person and all there. Attacking her character is arbitrary, because, again, how did you site her? 

"you ever think that how you conduct yourself might have something to do with how your treated? Do you think being super drunk all the time with your boobs falling out of your shirt whilst hanging out with all the schwilly fucks on decatur street is going to deter creepos?"

Fucky lunitics are not natural and should not be worked around. She will probably get the same amount of shitty attention as a yuppie girl at at bar because the opportunists discussed at the core of the conversation feel entitled. What strategy do you add?


----------



## EphemeralStick

Lightning Samurai said:


> And does anyone actually know her well enough to be able to say what i said isnt true? She could be lieing did you even consider that?



Yeah, I do actually. She's a very close personal friend of mine and your statements were wildly inaccurate. This conversation is extremely relevant to our community and we should all consider what we learned from this thread. Both the women's perspective as well the various reactions the males have been having.


----------



## Beegod Santana

This thread makes me sad in so many ways... Yes, women experience significantly more sexual harassment on the road than men. The flip-side of that is that normally women do way better spanging, flying, hitching, busking ect... while having to fend off constant advances. It's not fair in any sense of the word and more and more these days it seems like predators are infiltrating the traveling community. They've always been there, but it sucks how it seems like kids can't trust each other for shit these days. A decent grip of sketch-balls that got chased out of the community years ago seem to be coming back with different names but the same old tricks. If you're gonna travel solo as a women be armed and don't ignore red flags, ever. Just my 2 cents.


----------



## beersalt

Lightning Samurai said:


> Being a female on the road comes with constant harassment... Really? Thats some great publicity for women who are interested in this lifestyle. @Shwhiskey Gumimaci you ever think that how you conduct yourself might have something to do with how your treated? Do you think being super drunk all the time with your boobs falling out of your shirt whilst hanging out with all the schwilly fucks on decatur street is going to deter creepos? Yea i saw you in nola last mardi gras and i know that was last year but from the looks of it you havent changed. Im not coming to the defense of creepy assholes or anything in fact i probably hate them as much as anyone else but they exist none the less. Getting schwilly and fucked up all the time without any thought about who your with and whats going on is just irresponsible. This is the real world out here darlin and fucked up shit happens, its not some drainbow fantasy land where everything is all sugar plum fairy nonesense. You must be on your toes so good luck with that.



Wow dude... Just wow.. I'm sure on hot days you get the pleasure of being able to take your shirt off without being harassed . Fucking hell what is up with all these dudes victimizing the victims? Enjoy your white male privalge you dick


----------



## beersalt

Lightning Samurai said:


> Well im just an asshole with a resentment twoards women due to the abuse that ive suffered from them over the years. Some of it my fault some of it not. At least i can accept that some of its my fault. Thats who i am. This thread reeks of man hate imo.



Dude are you fucking kidding me? There's a difference between feminism, equality, and quasi new age man hating feminism which trust me, I do not support. But you JUST SAID you have resentment towards women, self proclaimed asshole? Sounds like you haven't taken ANY responsibility you're just a piece of shit that likes to make excuses for your misogynistic ridiculous women hating, victim blaming, this is the problem with our society point of view.


----------



## beersalt

Oh and by the way, I also PERSONALLY know @Shwhiskey Gumimaci and I can tell you for a fact she is an extremely intelligent, aware, and experienced travler and not a shwilly fuck that puts herself in fucked up positions. She's a beautiful person and guys try to take advantage of that, no women should ever have to deal with that especially not someone as kind and giving as she


----------



## beersalt

Shwhiskey Gumimaci said:


> @Lightning Samurai[/USER This is not feminist propaganda, this is just decent human behavior




This.


----------



## EphemeralStick

@SiriusDragon slow down a little. Calling people pieces of shit devalues the point you're trying to make. 

Is it possible for us to continue this conversation without everyone becoming adversarial? This goes to everyone.


----------



## beersalt

EphemeralStick said:


> @SiriusDragon slow down a little. Calling people pieces of shit devalues the point you're trying to make.
> 
> Is it possible for us to continue this conversation without everyone becoming adversarial? This goes to everyone.



You're completely correct. I will certainly calm it down a bit, you know me I can get a bit Agro at times lol. Especially when it comes to the people I love like @Shwhiskey Gumimaci . My bad


----------



## Desperado Deluxe

Lightning Samurai said:


> Well im just an asshole with a resentment twoards women due to the abuse that ive suffered from them over the years. Some of it my fault some of it not. At least i can accept that some of its my fault. Thats who i am. This thread reeks of man hate imo.


This was a somewhat cynical answer because i figured that no matter what i said everyone was going to dislike my point of view so i figured fuck it i just as well admit im an asshole. So thanks for taking the bait @SiriusDragon seems like you got some resentments yourself. Do i have some resentments twoards some of things women do? Yea. Do i hate women? No. In fact there are plenty of women that i dont have any resentments twoards at all. I dont go out actively being an asshole to women because theyre women. In fact i got in a fight recently because i was calling out an active woman abuser type who had harassed one of my friends who is female. Im going through a really hard spot in my life that involves how ive been treated by my mother so sorry if i brought that here. Ive got some other shit to say but ill hold my tongue as like what ive said before it just seems like everyones going to hate on it.


----------



## beersalt

Lightning Samurai said:


> This was a somewhat cynical answer because i figured that no matter what i said everyone was going to dislike my point of view so i figured fuck it i just as well admit im an asshole. So thanks for taking the bait @SiriusDragon seems like you got some resentments yourself. Do i have some resentments twoards some of things women do? Yea. Do i hate women? No. In fact there are plenty of women that i dont have any resentments twoards at all. I dont go out actively being an asshole to women because theyre women. In fact i got in a fight recently because i was calling out an active woman abuser type who had harassed one of my friends who is female. Im going through a really hard spot in my life that involves how ive been treated by my mother so sorry if i brought that here. Ive got some other shit to say but ill hold my tongue as like what ive said before it just seems like everyones going to hate on it.



Well that just makes you a troll, which is against the forum rules. Saying something to encourage an inflamed response? And then admitting it? I'd be surprised if the mods didn't get on that pretty quick. So so far you're an admittied asshole and an admitted troll? Why don't you go somewhere that trolls and assholes are welcomed then cause I don't think STP is that place

EDIT: my bad for engaging in the flaming. Should of slowed down before reacting. Will do my best to prevent being a dick hole in the future


----------



## Desperado Deluxe

@SiriusDragon youve done all kinds of flaming and trolling hypocrite. You cant take accountablity for your actions? It wasnt to encourage an inflamed response it was to see of id get one. Not to mention your being a pretty big asshole yourself. Ive tried to keep my conversation civil. You on the other hand have been completely unreasonable.


----------



## EphemeralStick

@SiriusDragon @Lightning Samurai

You are both flaming at this point and its getting old. You wanna talk shit on each other, than take it to a PM. If not then I have no problem handing out warnings to the both of you.

Stop antagonizing each other, you are both in the wrong in that regard.


----------



## Anagor

My thoughts about that:

The whole discussion (at least most of it) is in my humble opinion pointless.

Just be careful! Be together with people (m/f) you trust. Or as other people suggested get a dog if you don't want to or have no one you want to travel with if you feel unsafe.

Are you to blame if men approach you in a way you don't want? Of course not.

Should "no" mean "no!"? Yes of course.

In an ideal world no woman would be afraid of rape or violence. Unfortunately we are not living in an ideal world. 

Besides that, travelling and living this lifestyle is inherently dangerous,It should not be, but it is.

For example, in Salisbury, UK I met a guy in a wheelchair. Thought he had an accident and thus became homeless. Talked to him and he told me that no .... He was homeless, sleeping in a doorway and a bunch of assholes he never saw before put some acid upon him (he showed me the scarfs) and beat him so much that he never recovered and now he sits in a wheelchair.

It is dangerous on the road or on the streets - potentially.

There are no pros without cons.

Trust your gut feeling always and take precautiions, That is all what I can suggest.


----------



## EphemeralStick

Well there has certainly been a lot that has been shared at this point. I think now would be as good a time as any to revisit the actual topic of this thread before it goes and gets hijacked again.
Clearly this issue is a complicated one that can't just be simply explained away. Sexual Harassment towards women exists, heavily in this community. We here who put the time in to moderate the site have seen it time and time again. I see out there in the world on a damn near daily basis. To say that it doesn't exist or that it is a product of the female's own promiscuity is to live in denial.

However, at the same time, we can't just instantly dismiss anyone who feels that way. It's easy to get aggro and start slinging insults but that is not productive. All that does is create more victims of another type of hostility. A lot of us do what we do because we feel attacked. By society, by life, all of it. How do any of us respond to attack? We fight back. With a situation like this you have to keep in mind what I said in my first post.

Every situation must be assessed on a case by case basis. It's exhausting and I get it, sometimes it's easier to summarize the offender as an asshole because who the fuck wants to deal with this every day? However it still needs to be done. In some instances a direct approach is necessary because these individuals are truly in the wrong, hence the banning of @ped . While other times, it is important to hear out the words of someone and help them to learn something new because they may actually have reasons for feeling how they do, i.e. @Lightning Samurai .

It's sad. There has been a severe decline in the amount of active female users. It's not difficult to see why. Why be a part of something when they have to deal with constant bombardment from asshole guys? And for the love of gods, I know that not every man is like this. The point is is that some men _*are*_, and these are the guys that need to be called out.

We all have to do what we can to fix this problem. It won't go away by simply ignoring it, and shouting it away doesn't work either. There is no one answer but a collection of different ways to go about figuring it out.

Don't discredit others' experiences, don't blame a victim's actions for someone else taking advantage of them, don't stop trying to improve the person you are.
And I said it before, I'll say it again, and I'll probably be saying it until the end of time.

Stop. Objectifying. Women.


----------



## Anagor

EphemeralStick said:


> The point is is that some men _*are*_, and these are the guys that need to be called out.



Exactly.

Online and in real life.

We can do what we can do about it, but we can't change everyone. We can't change the world. Unfortunately.

So we have to deal with what the world is like.

Just my opinion.


----------



## EphemeralStick

@Anagor 
I disagree entirely.
We _can _change the world. It's not easy but all it takes is patience and effort.


----------



## Anagor

EphemeralStick said:


> @Anagor
> I disagree entirely.
> We _can _change the world. It's not easy but all it takes is patience and effort.



In my humble opinion we can't. Perhaps we can a little bit. In our surrounding. Yes. But not the entire world.

Fuck the system. That is my opinion. But we can't change the world. If we could and we will somedays, I stand corrected. I'd like to stand corrected.

But I doubt. :/


----------



## pewpew

Im sure this has been already mentioned, but really I think the best thing for a lone female if she isnt already with someone is to group up with other females, at least then you wont be bored and still feel safe...It sucks but thats pretty much what it comes down to or youre just gonna keep running into the same problems....I mean nobody is gonna mess with a group or at the very least 2 of yall, especially if youre armed with something, maybe even throw a big dog in there and you got a pretty good squad right there.


----------



## landpirate

As a woman who travels solo 99% of the time (and happily I should add). I'm just really bored of being told I should get a road dog or travel with other people. Don't get me wrong a girl gang of pirates marauding about the place sounds luscious, but no...I just want to be solo and that be ok.

I'm tired of being told that I am vulnerable and sadly that's just how it is. No, it's not. I will not let you fuck with me, not because I don't get in dodgy situations or get drunk in the street and run into arseholes but because I will call you out, I will fuck you up, I will not ever again be a victim of other peoples agendas and bullshit.

Sorry I don't usually get ranty on here but it really irks me reading posts mostly from men explaining to me and other women how we need to behave in order to be/feel safe.

If you're on this forum then I hope to a lesser or greater degree that you're in the same boat. It's hard enough to be amongst people that don't live how we do without having to watch our backs amongst our own band of waifs and strays. Just be kind to each other.

I thank all the people who've commented on this thread and have stated that they just won't put up with it anymore. It's fucking ace to hear from strong women who are not going to take anymore crap and it's really refreshing to hear men saying they'll stand up and do the same.


----------



## pewpew

She had bad experiences, which is why people responded and had that "it might be best to goup with women or a dog" kind of input, was just simple advice was all.

Good for you for being a strong and independent woman tho!!


----------



## Anagor

landpirate said:


> As a woman who travels solo 99% of the time (and happily I should add). I'm just really bored of being told I should get a road dog or travel with other people.



I can perfectly understand.

My reply was all the advice/suggestion I could think of, regarding the OP.

And my reply was not only about women, see the part about the guy who got attacked.

I would never say a woman shouldn't travel alone. But I would always say everyone should be careful and trust his/her gut feelings.

And if one feels unsafe alone, I think it's best to find some (good) company. That's all.

Edit: Typo


----------



## marmar

landpirate said:


> As a woman who travels solo 99% of the time (and happily I should add). I'm just really bored of being told I should get a road dog or travel with other people. Don't get me wrong a girl gang of pirates marauding about the place sounds luscious, but no...I just want to be solo and that be ok.
> 
> I'm tired of being told that I am vulnerable and sadly that's just how it is. No, it's not. I will not let you fuck with me, not because I don't get in dodgy situations or get drunk in the street and run into arseholes but because I will call you out, I will fuck you up, I will not ever again be a victim of other peoples agendas and bullshit.
> 
> Sorry I don't usually get ranty on here but it really irks me reading posts mostly from men explaining to me and other women how we need to behave in order to be/feel safe.
> 
> If you're on this forum then I hope to a lesser or greater degree that you're in the same boat. It's hard enough to be amongst people that don't live how we do without having to watch our backs amongst our own band of waifs and strays. Just be kind to each other.
> 
> I thank all the people who've commented on this thread and have stated that they just won't put up with it anymore. It's fucking ace to hear from strong women who are not going to take anymore crap and it's really refreshing to hear men saying they'll stand up and do the same.





landpirate said:


> As a woman who travels solo 99% of the time (and happily I should add). I'm just really bored of being told I should get a road dog or travel with other people. Don't get me wrong a girl gang of pirates marauding about the place sounds luscious, but no...I just want to be solo and that be ok.
> 
> I'm tired of being told that I am vulnerable and sadly that's just how it is. No, it's not. I will not let you fuck with me, not because I don't get in dodgy situations or get drunk in the street and run into arseholes but because I will call you out, I will fuck you up, I will not ever again be a victim of other peoples agendas and bullshit.
> 
> Sorry I don't usually get ranty on here but it really irks me reading posts mostly from men explaining to me and other women how we need to behave in order to be/feel safe.
> 
> If you're on this forum then I hope to a lesser or greater degree that you're in the same boat. It's hard enough to be amongst people that don't live how we do without having to watch our backs amongst our own band of waifs and strays. Just be kind to each other.
> 
> I thank all the people who've commented on this thread and have stated that they just won't put up with it anymore. It's fucking ace to hear from strong women who are not going to take anymore crap and it's really refreshing to hear men saying they'll stand up and do the same.


It's different if you are on foot, or travel in a van. When hitchhiking and hopping it makes WAY more sense to actually have a road dog. Im in the van and alone and don't face as much harrasment, just being independent. I get the advantage of being with a car.


----------



## Shwillam

spectacular said:


> Whoo yeah, as a traveling female who's also been involved in many coercive sex encounters, one of which resulted in my current pregnancy, I can really identify. Getting pregnant has really clarified a few things for me though:
> 
> 1 none of the people who want sexual encounters care about you or want to teach you anything in any way. They want to get off. Coercion on the males behalf is almost always emotional and has nothing to do with what the female is actually feeling but instead a few things he's noticed here and there and a couple of tricks he's picked up from his friends.
> 
> 2. Public alcoholism is not something you "should" feel safe doing even under the pretense that you should feel safe. Cause you aren't nor ever will be safe, especially stumbling alone with no place to go. You are a prime target. I suggest switching to weed or, if you must be an alcoholic, getting that bottle and finding a place deep in the cut where it will be very hard to find you, getting drunk there, and reemerging when sober.
> 
> 3. You love this culture... Denial! You don't love this culture, you enjoy parts of it. You love your self. It's what you do. Your primary allegiance is to you. My primary allegiance is to myself. I like what I enjoy. Love is too strong a word most of the time.
> 
> 4. At the end of the day, nobody gives a shit about you. They can care about you up to 11pm but when that clock strikes 11:01 they will leave you to fend for yourself. It's only natural and to be expected since people have to take care of themselves too, and simply cannot do so when they have someone else to care for. Think of all the hours up until 11pm as childhood. It's 11:01 once you're an adult.
> 
> 5. Don't be aggressive with approaching males. Men are more aggressive than women and see most encounters in terms of winning or losing when it comes to sex. Your aggression means an automatic win. They can toy you with you now and reap the benefits of your feelings of having to "make it up" to them. And so you don't have the energy to fight back anymore? Sounds like you may be trying to make up for past aggressions. I suggest forgiving yourself and carrying a can of mace for the really dogged pursuers. It's best to not say anything at all if he doesn't respect the first polite "no." Just know that guys who don't respect that are 1. Slime, 2. Only interested in sadistic domination and getting off no matter how many nicey faces he makes at you. Fuck that smile...With some mace
> 
> 6. "You don't know what you want" no, sure don't, but I know what I don't want and that is another forced, tired, painful sexual encounter with someone I just met
> 
> I don't know what to say to help you. Sometimes the best medicine is a doozy, and that's what it may take for you, but I thought I'd give it a shot.



Wow. I could not with disagree with this entire post more


----------



## Coywolf

spectacular said:


> Whoo yeah, as a traveling female who's also been involved in many coercive sex encounters, one of which resulted in my current pregnancy, I can really identify. Getting pregnant has really clarified a few things for me though:
> 
> 1 none of the people who want sexual encounters care about you or want to teach you anything in any way. They want to get off. Coercion on the males behalf is almost always emotional and has nothing to do with what the female is actually feeling but instead a few things he's noticed here and there and a couple of tricks he's picked up from his friends.
> 
> 2. Public alcoholism is not something you "should" feel safe doing even under the pretense that you should feel safe. Cause you aren't nor ever will be safe, especially stumbling alone with no place to go. You are a prime target. I suggest switching to weed or, if you must be an alcoholic, getting that bottle and finding a place deep in the cut where it will be very hard to find you, getting drunk there, and reemerging when sober.
> 
> 3. You love this culture... Denial! You don't love this culture, you enjoy parts of it. You love your self. It's what you do. Your primary allegiance is to you. My primary allegiance is to myself. I like what I enjoy. Love is too strong a word most of the time.
> 
> 4. At the end of the day, nobody gives a shit about you. They can care about you up to 11pm but when that clock strikes 11:01 they will leave you to fend for yourself. It's only natural and to be expected since people have to take care of themselves too, and simply cannot do so when they have someone else to care for. Think of all the hours up until 11pm as childhood. It's 11:01 once you're an adult.
> 
> 5. Don't be aggressive with approaching males. Men are more aggressive than women and see most encounters in terms of winning or losing when it comes to sex. Your aggression means an automatic win. They can toy you with you now and reap the benefits of your feelings of having to "make it up" to them. And so you don't have the energy to fight back anymore? Sounds like you may be trying to make up for past aggressions. I suggest forgiving yourself and carrying a can of mace for the really dogged pursuers. It's best to not say anything at all if he doesn't respect the first polite "no." Just know that guys who don't respect that are 1. Slime, 2. Only interested in sadistic domination and getting off no matter how many nicey faces he makes at you. Fuck that smile...With some mace
> 
> 6. "You don't know what you want" no, sure don't, but I know what I don't want and that is another forced, tired, painful sexual encounter with someone I just met
> 
> I don't know what to say to help you. Sometimes the best medicine is a doozy, and that's what it may take for you, but I thought I'd give it a shot.



Am I the only person who doesnt agree with this?!? None of the people who want sexual encounters actually care about the person? Holy fuck! I think this comment is a prime example of feminism gone wrong. Please dont paint all men as manipulative assholes!


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## Coywolf

Also, As I will constantly spread the word of peace and equality in my travels, I would still like to see more douchebag/controlling/waste of life males be maced/beat the shit out of, because, unfortunately, that is the only way some people will learn....maybe not even then. 

Im not going to try and front a "white knight" personality, but if anyone is in need of assistance due to an abusive relationship, sexism, racism, or discrimination of any kind, I WILL heed your call. As should everyone. I do believe that is part of the original Hobo Code.

I hate to hear about experiences such as what the OP has been through. All we can do is to keep promoting good, and potentially, giving a harsh lesson some of those who dont/wont get it....

One more thing. in accordance with a few other posts on this thread. If you are a potential solo female traveler, dont feel as though you MUST group up, or only travel in certain areas, or not travel at all. As dangerous as it may be, do not restrict the freedom that is entitled to you. That will only feed the beast. But as always, stay safe out there.


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## spectacular

Coywolf said:


> Am I the only person who doesnt agree with this?!? None of the people who want sexual encounters actually care about the person? Holy fuck! I think this comment is a prime example of feminism gone wrong. Please dont paint all men as manipulative assholes!



What's it to you if I do or don't? Stand on your own. My opinion doesn't matter.


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## spectacular

Also to say my comment reflects feminism in any way... No. My comment is based on experience and personal reflection.


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## Coywolf

Im


spectacular said:


> Also to say my comment reflects feminism in any way... No. My comment is based on experience and personal reflection.


I'm sorry about prior experiences that have led you to believe that anyone who is interested in you (sexually or otherwise) are being insincere, but I do not believe anyone should heed the advice that all situations fall under that same classification.

This is a major problem. Assholes change everyone's perception of the world in one way or another, and sometimes they change it forever. 

The whole reason I got into traveling in the first place was to change my perception of humanity for the better, and I try every day to project positivity and equality upon the environment I am thrown into.

Everyones opinion is their own, but I always am going to agree with one that caters to everyone having an free-flowing positive experience. Everyone. Even trump voters. May God have mercy on their souls...


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## Coywolf

spectacular said:


> What's it to you if I do or don't? Stand on your own. My opinion doesn't matter.


And, it does, actually.


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## spectacular

Well what can I say. Nothing really. You two are obviously not the kind of guy I find myself interacting with in the forced-feeling situations sexually. More power to you. It's hard for me not to paint with a broad brush when advising, tbh I thought the advice I gave was clunky but well meaning...As the saying goes "the road to hell is paved with good intentions"


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## notacarniegirl

"Words taught me the way life should be.
Experience taught me the way it is." -Sondra Anice Barnes

I know from personal experience the kind of harrassment the OP is so fed up with. If you are female travelling alone, grocery shopping, waiting for a bus, just walking down the street or basically going outdoors among people for any reason, chances are someone is going to come onto you if you're even moderately decent looking. (I'm pretty sure guys with long hair probably get a lot of unwanted attention from perverts too.) When I was 9 or 10 I learned that men will try to buy the right to use us. When I was 12 or 13 I learned that they will pretend to be whatever you want to get in your pants. And they will treat you like a stranger once they do. Over the years I've learned lots of things about the countless ways men can hurt women physically, mentally and mostly emotionally. Some will undermine your self esteem, to make you think you're lucky they like you at all. Some will actually think it's okay to put their hands on you whether you let them or not. Some even prefer it if you put up a fight-rape isn't about sex. It's about power and dominance. 
But not all men are dirtbags. 
And women are very often just as bad. They will flirt and tease, with the express purpose of getting a man to buy her drinks, clothes, and anything else they can get out of a guy. Sometimes they'll be quite clear about what they're willing to do and what they expect in return. If their really good, they'll milk a guy for as much as they can just by letting a guy think he's got a chance of getting some "one day." In fact, in some ways we women can be as predatory as men in a far more insidious, calculating and deliberate way. But not all women are manipulative bitches.
It's not fair that being a woman means fighting off pervs and keeping your guard up and constantly being careful not to "send the wrong messages." And its not fair that men can't be nice to a woman without risking being used or treated like an ATM machine, or trapped in any number of ways, or even being accused of rape or sexual harassment just for complimenting or rejecting someone. 
But life isn't fair and the world isn't the way it SHOULD be. It's the way it is. 
Don't let the assholes you encounter, whether male or female, turn you into one of them. Don't let bad experiences with some people determine how you treat everyone else. And don't trust blindly, but don't stop trusting at all. People suck for the most part. But there are still good people in the world. I know this because I try to be one as best I know how, so I figure I can't be the only one. If you know you're a good person, then you know other people can be too. 
Men seem to spend their adult lives trying to get laid, while women seem to spend more time trying to keep from getting laid. (By the wrong people at least.) Maybe it's that 'billions of sperm vs one egg' ratio that makes us that way. Men are about quantity while women are more concerned with quality. But that's only the stereotypical ones. Assholes can be nice once in awhile and nice people occasionally act like fucking jerks. 
When you're just tired of people being people, take a break until you're ready to deal with the unpredictable nature of human beings again. Socializing is exhausting. Survival is exhausting. Find what charges you up when life wears you down. 
It's not just women or men or you or me or us or them. It's everyone.


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## Ezra Fyre

ped said:


> a million years of trying to propagate the genome have caused males to want to have sex. shocker, I know.




And over propagation of the g-nome is leading to the disintegration of the Y chromosome. Congrats men! Sexing yourselves extinct.


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## Ezra Fyre

"I guess because she looked homeless they assumed she was a hooker?"

NOPE!  .... Homeless had nothing to do with it.... It was a 2 step combination - #1 female #2 street... Now, I'll grant you, it was gilded by her flying... But that's just because every girl's greatest dream is to go home with the strange guy, especially if it'll get her off a street. And see, he just knew she was standing there waiting for him! ❤❤❤ (Yes, total sarcasm.)


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