# travel log reports!



## SDBoojum (May 7, 2010)

These are a few selected entries I wrote within the past month of shit I've been up to. So yeah!





Earlier my partner and I had been about two hours into roaming Kansas City in the hot sun when a man parked his car nearby and flagged us towards him. As we approached him he says, "You two look awfully hot and tired!" We exchanged a look of hesitantly-wary-confusion as we stepped closer to the man, then BAM! This clean-cut stranger begins to pull wads of money from his pockets and shoves them into our hands, and just when we think he's done, he says, "Wait, I think I have some more!." and pulls even more out. Speechless, I stutter, "Why are you doing this?", and with a glint in his eye you only see in all of the religious breed, he looks up into the sky and barks, "God told me to!", and then walks back into his car and drives away. Funny how life works out, eh? All together it was something like 53 dollars.


Standing at the side of the road holding a 'traveling, broke, and hungry' sign, I made about three to four dollars and surprisingly acquired a fair amount of food. Around forty-five minutes into this a black dude in a jeep parked the block down and walked to me and started conversing. He invited me over to his car, and out of naivety and the knowledge I wasn't going to die today, I walked with him. On the way I started to smell fish, and when he offered me to sit in his car to 'get out of the wind', i did so, but raised my guard. I sat there awkwardly, waiting for food? Money? Whatever could help? But no! He's like,
'yeah, so let's go party,"
"It's two in the afternoon" I reply, and spying some eyedrops in the middle console of the car I think 'maybe he'll smoke me up, cool' and ask "what do you mean by party, man?"
He straight up replies, "I wanna suck your cock."
Adrenaline broke through the floodgates and into my bloodstream as I analyzed the situation and kept cool, putting my hand by my knife and remembering that if I had to run, he was too fat to catch me. I reply monotonely-blunt, "no." 
"I'll give you a hundred dollars."
"Yeah, probably not man." 
With a desperate look of sorts he says, "you sure?"
"Have a good day." I get out of the car and he drives off fast.
FUCK THAT SHIT! Lesson learned! Never again, that could've been much worse!


While going through Minnesota it turned out that one of my stepbrothers went to college in a town called Austin so we stopped and crashed over there. As we arrived at the dorm, the fact that Cuz and I were in a strange territory was imminent. It seemed as if every male we came across had an overly-erect spine, broad shoulders, and a set of puffy pecs. This is a well defined physical description of the Collegius Jocktus specimen. They exhibited a mating call of sorts which could best be described as an army 'hoo-ah', but without the 'ah'. Think about a gorilla trying to mimic a dog-bark and you should get the point. Jocks. Another strange breed indeed.

While at the Greyhound station I met a deadhead by the name of Zeus, who provided me with a blue pill to help mollify the ride. When i entered the bathroom stall I was greeted by the pasty scent of dried vomit plastered upon the wall. A further look of my surroundings revealed a hole in the back corner housing an empty glass pint bottle, along with a used needle. Brushing my eyes away from these objects, I proceeded to crush and ingest the powdered wonder with the aid of Abraham Lincoln himself, pausing one moment too many in fear of unknown sounds outside of my stall. Afterward I returned to the waiting room with a mint sensation tingling within my nose as I spent the remainder of my time playing the Galaga machine.

We appeared as ghosts, three kids and a dog covered in coal crawling out of the Denver train yard and into a nearby heated elevator to keep warm from the snow. The first one we hit up was already occupied by a couple and their dog. We sat inside rolling and smoking Top until the sun rose and said, "Hey motherfuckers! Sorry to burn the shit outta you while you laid down in a pile of black for 25 hours! But hey!-Now that you can finally walk around, here's some snow, bitches!" Yeah, something like that. Everytime we cleaned our faces they'd just get dirty again from our clothes. We were in the mile high city for about 6 hours before the consensus was reached that "Denver sucks", and decided to hitch back to ye' old black hills. And maybe Denver doesn't really suck, but it sure did that day. 'Twas the land where everybody you ask for a smoke says 'last smoke' or 'nah this is the only one I brought outside.'


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