# Story of my Life, Aint that the truth



## LeeevinKansas (Jun 13, 2011)

SO when i last posted a story it was last year in the fall or some shit. Now i know ive been on here as of late posting rather personal threads, but thats largely in part due to all the crazy shit im going through. Maybe its not crazy to the readers, allthough half of the replies ive gotten have been through others dealing with or who have dealt with the same kinds of things.

November 2010 


So there I was , moved back into my parents house, after my most recent episode of traveling. Now i didnt really do much traveling, as I did just being homeless within the wichita metro area. So I was back at my parents, in the process of rebuilding my relationship with my parents once again. I was back in the familiar process of complete boredom. Day in and day out, week after week, I would wake up, drink my coffee, and while staring out the window talk to myself and other imaginary people, that would give a shit about what I had to say, about hitchhiking, botany, japanese, astronomy, alien theories, etc, etc. Here I am, only 22, and im already developing basic minor schizophrenia, I mean I dont think of it like that, but I bet others would, or at least liken my life experiences to it. 

I would then usually spend my days consisting of walking down to the 400 acre woods down the road, and spend time walking the off-the-beaten-path trails, and bring along a botany book, or maybe an animal tracking book, etc. I would learn everything I could about the trees that populated the forest. I would learn about all the wild herbs that grew, and learn what mushrooms were edible, and poisonous. Id learn which fish were in the rivers, and where the rivers came from and went. Id go to a series of "hangouts", like down to The Valley, a field that ran through the length of the woods. And there were 5 stones that had mysteriously appeared once upon a time, and Id sit there by myself, with my tribal drum, or my panpipe, and play it all day long, watching the wind in the trees, listening to the wind, watching the clouds lazily float by. Completely out of tune with the rest of the world. 


MY World, was at my home. I never left it, as I had no job. I had 2 friends. One just down the street (who played a key part in my first hitchhiking trip) and another friend, (who i met through the first) that lived in a town called Rose Hill, about 50 miles to the SE. Outside of them there was the family, and my sisters family. I got into more fights then i thought possible with my family. It was rough. At one point my sisters husband had responded violently to me calling his wife an idiot. It was a ridiculous mess. ANyways my world was my shitlife at my house. My home was on the road though. Which i extremely missed. Keep in mind i had already tried unsuccessfully leaving a handful of times. 

To escape my world, I wouldnt do the things most kids do. I would drive down the road, deep down south in the countryside, 15-30 miles, find a lonely spot, with a good view, and sit there and dip while sittin on the hood. For hours. Just at peace. Alone, how I liked it. It was the closest thing I had to hitchhiking. How my heart yearns even now to be walking those roads. Roads like those roads. roads in the countryside, lonely roads. away from people. away from other human beings. etc anyways.....

One day in november I wanted to get high. I smoked weed from time to time back then, but I wanted to get high super bad cuz i hadnt in months. Well i ended up going with this girl, over to her house. And short story, i never went back.

Now shit was good for awhile, 3 weeks in a pot house basically, I was livin the life. But I in truth, wanted to leave. As all this kinda popped up, even by my doing, unexpextedly and caused this rut in my plans.

Well I planned on leaving her. It was honestly like living a double life, a split personality. It took a toll on me. I tried leaving her once. I packed my shit up and left. Down the road 3 miles i turned around. Ditched my bag and came back. Idiot! My bag was gone the next day when I went back to get it. Now i told her. And she flipped but she understood and reassured me, that wed leave in awhile. She didnt have anything where she currently was, so she wanted to come with me. 

December 2010

Yes, +15000$ on Hemp Tycoon!. Suddenly I hear my name yelled. I go upstairs. My woman behind me. And Kevin, that dooshbag, kicked us out. Said we were eating him out of house and home. Strange since I buy my own food. 

Thus we were homeless. She ended up saying to hell with her friends and came with me. Everyone hated me. So we left. We went hitchhiking. I got her the shit she needed, and we left. But it was COLLLDDD, and i just didnt have the appropriate gear for HER at the time, things like winter gear. I even gave her my own shit but that left me freezing. Knowing I fucked up somehow, I took her back to wichita.

My dad ended up buying us a hotel for a week. Oh how i felt bad. All i was trying to do is leave, and do my own thing, and now my dad once again, and now this woman have been caught in the middle of my own life story. 

Well we we ended up finding this lady on craigslist. She ran a daycare or some shit out of her house. In exchange for rent my woman would work for her 3 hrs a day. Well woudnt you know that miss butchfatfuck (my nickname for her, i have nothing against butches or dykes or gays watever, but she screwed us over big time) decides to make my lady work 12 hrs a day without pay. Eventually after 3 months of putting up with this shit, and it in return causing massive amounts of stress between me and my lady, my lady finally stood up to the bitch. And she in return unlawfully eviceted us. NOthing like watching the cops hold your ass back and yell at you for how fucking dumb you are. stupid bitch.

well we left and lived out of her car, for a week.

Well we finally came up to her aunts house in a small town north of wichita. I ended up getting a job and she did too. but then she quit her job. I just got fired from mine yesterday. For being late 3x, twice for when my manager was supposed to meet me at 6am and they were late, so i couldnt clock in. 

Well now shits going to hell and i think that was the straw that broke the camels back.

Shes been sleeping on a diff bed now for the past week (2 beds in the same room), and been acting like she dont love me. She tries to hide it but you know, i can tell shits not the same, dont love me like she used to. Im not retarded. If she leaves me, I know Ill leave town. Aint no point in being here if i dont got anyone. BUt the reason I put all this up on here, is because, in the end, theres a high possiblity that ill prolly die later in life from depression and grief, bc she left me. Or i might just die because hobos and homeless ppl and hitchhikers die of wierd shit sometimes. And maybe someone should know my story. Because if and when i leave, im not coming back, im just gonna withdraw from society and die somewhere on the road. the past 22 years of my life have been full of a myriad amount of stressful things, but i know we all have, but in the recent 3 years, ive experienced enough stress to last me a lifetime, almost all things from the city.


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## Beegod Santana (Jun 13, 2011)

Jesus fuck! Nobody fucking cares kid. How about giving thanks for what you have instead of filling this site up with whiny bull crap.


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## thisisme (Jun 14, 2011)

Life is what you make it. Only you can change your situation. If youre not happy and want to travel then do it. plain and simple. Dont let others decide whats best for you. You cant please everyone, so you might as well do what makes you happy.


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## Margarita (Jul 8, 2011)

Dude, get out on the road and meet new people. Heal yourself. You're only 22. Want to stop suffering? Stop drowning in your pain and go somewhere where you're happy, where you can find people who know how to manifest a good life... learn to play an instrument or speak a foreign language, leave the country, change the scene. There's way too much out there, good good shit, to be languishing in one place, going back to your parents and family and begging for help all the time. That's a sure recipe for depression.
Now I'm in no way ignoring the fact that you tried to become self-sufficient by getting jobs, only to have the system fuck you over. Our society is set so that the lower you start, the harder the climb. But there are ways to get out of this vicious circle, which sometimes have to do with just tossing all your baggage and even some good things to the wind, for uncertainty, with the hope that out there somewhere awaits something much, much better...
And honestly, to the people who read this and thought "shut up, whiner" and such: every one of us needs support sometimes. Troubles are all relative. We all feel pain. If we all thought a little less about whether someone "deserves" love, compassion, fortune, whatever, and just _gave those things freely_, don't you think the world would be a bit of a better place?


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## Keno Star (Jul 8, 2011)

Nothing is perfect because life isn't perfect, and that's what makes it so beautiful


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