# Hitch-hiking at Gunpoint



## wokofshame (Mar 1, 2011)

So in the summer of 2007 I went on Birthright which is like a free trip to Israel for Jewish kids 18-26. Taglit-Birthright Israel: Homepage 
Mostly I helped build stone irrigation dams for this family way out by the Egyptian border. They had 5 goats, two donkeys, two dogs, 4 kids, three cats, a dozen chickens, listened to "the pinkfloyd" on vinyl, and we all lived in fixed up abandoned train cars. It was a fucking awesome summer.
I did take a week or two across the border in Jordan and this is a story about an episode that occurred there. 

I was coming back to Israel from Northern Jordan and was under an overpass hitchhiking with these two jordanian state troopers, we were at this place south of what is called azraq which is a jctn of the road to saudi arabia and the road to syria and the road to amman and the road to aqaba and lastly the road to iraq. This last destination figures in greatly in a little bit. 
Azraq is probably the most awesome place i have ever been to, the whole town is a giant truckstop middle eastern style with an inexplicable oasis of lush greenery and water in the middle of a harsh desert. Fruit vendors abound and watermelon is the best thing a dinar can buy.
It is worth mentioning that trucker culture in the middle east is way cooler than here. Everybody pulls their own flatbeds and
at sundown 10 truckers will have set up their hammocks underneath their trailers at pulloffs where they trade things and bullshit and have tea together in ubiquitous little white china cups with lots of sugar. Everybody is super polite and they stop 5 times a day to bring out their prayer mat and pray towards Mecca.
Underneath their flatbeds will be a fold out sink and stove and whatever else they've decided to put there. There will be ghetto roadside pita bakeries with basically a welding torch , a cinderblock oven, and an umbrella selling piping hot pita for 10 cents. There's no Pilot or Petro but instead badass roadside restaurants with shawarma, this is thin sliced lamb kebab pickle and sour cream in a wrap, and falafel with tasty yoghurt sauce and spicy sauce. Rooms will be supplied by the hour where a trucker may rest on a mat by the wall.

Anyway we were about 20 clics south of Azraq ath Saudi Arabia road split and the cops are headed to their 3-week shift at the highway patrol base way out in the middle of nowhere. this is probably one of the most desolate roads on earth. one semi every 20 minutes, 24 hours a day. its about 120 in the shade and we're hanging underneath this overpass of the branch to saudia. i give them some fruit (deelishus) and some water. inexplicably they carry no water and instead are bumming water from passing trucks, holding their hands out in the universal "thirst" sign.
they are concerned what a foreigner is doing hitchhiking and they call up the highway patrol in azraq who come pick us up with lots of greeting and the traditional arabic kiss on each cheek, we drive to a hotel in the middle of nowhere and have little cups of tea with lots of sugar brought to us and watch the world cup. They talk a bit in Arabic which of course I understand almost none of.
i have no idea what's going on but it's quite enjoyable so far. We chill for a while and then drive to the patrol trailer outside town in the back of their pickup truck. More kisses on each cheek and I get to meet the Chief of Police, I'm like a visiting dignitary.
They hatch a plan and send the junior cop out with his AK-47 to stand in the middle of the road until a semi heading to Aqaba comes. This is the first and last time I have ever picked up a ride at gunpoint.
To this day I wonder why the cops hadnt done this before they met me under the overpass. A convoy of two battered and barely running snubnose volvo semis with Iraqi plates dating to the early 1980's pull over at the waving of the AK. They are pulling empty 48' containers strapped to flatbeds.
I get in one truck with a cop and the other cop gets in the other, I hop up to the top sleeper bunk and we get rolling. At first all is about as good as you can expect from a trucker who has just been stopped at gunpoint and ordered to give some hitchhikers a ride.
The trucker and cop start a conversation and I hear "amerikay". I'd been telling people i was Canadian, in fact even told the cops that, but they'd checked my passport at the patrol base so they knew my nationality.
For reasons I can imagine Iraqi trucker is not too thrilled at giving an american a ride. They launch into a heated argument for a full half hour, complete with neck-slashing motions and mentions of mujahaddeen and jihad. The cop explains to me later he is saying how some of his fellow truckers would be happy to kill me and dump my body in the sand. 
Well eventually the argument stops and we are in the middle of the most beautiful and truly desolate desert on earth at sunset rolling down the road at never more than 45 mph. Not even the slightly uncomfortable atmosphere can ruin this. We stop a few times to tighten the straps holding down the containers and the cop lights a discarded oil filter on fire and tosses it in a tire which catches ablaze as we roll off.

About 10 maybe we get to the patrol base and I disembark with the cops, our driver glad to see me go I'm sure. Inside is a feast for kings of lamb and rice and delicious spices Bedouin style a big communal platter that everyone eats from with their right hand, holy god i can still taste how good that food was. I meet the Chief of Chief of Police and get to kiss his stubble, I am the excitement of the month for the compound. Their bathroom is fucking foul there is literally turds floating up and squishing between my toes as I shower. Everyone is pleased to see me and curious, I sleep like a puppy on a mat (Bedouin rooms will have no chairs or couches but thin mats all around the edges you can chill or sleep on.)
In the morning they drive me the remaining 150 or so miles to Ma'an doing 120 MPH the whole way in a giant Suburban and put me on a bus to Aqaba whence I walk back to Israel.


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## MrD (Mar 1, 2011)

Dude, Fuck yeah! Now that sounds like an adventure!


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## wizehop (Mar 1, 2011)

YES YES YES, Sick story.....travel is all about that shit right here.


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## cranberrydavid (Mar 10, 2011)

MURT said:


> They hatch a plan and send the junior cop out with his AK-47 to stand in the middle of the road until a semi heading to Aqaba comes. This is the first and last time I have ever picked up a ride at gunpoint.


 REMEMBER: These men are professionals. Do NOT try this at home!


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## blackmatter (Jul 9, 2011)

hahaha thats pretty amazing, i remember you saying you went to israel but i wasnt expecting that shit, fuck yeah man!


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## DaisyDoom (Jul 9, 2011)

what a bad ass story...not what i was expected when i opened this lol


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## scatwomb (Jul 11, 2011)

That was an awesome story. I have traveled a bit through the Middle East and nothing that awesome happened to me.

I am always jealous of Jews getting to go to Israel for free with Birthright! That alone made me want to convert. Ha.


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## Komjaunimas (Jul 25, 2011)

Friends had similair experience. Boarder patrol ordered a truck to drive them thrue whole Slovakia to Budapest.


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## Matt Derrick (Jul 25, 2011)

Damn that's an awesome story! Do you have any pictures you can show us? Also, was it frustrating not knowing Arabic?


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## wokofshame (Jul 27, 2011)

Yeah i do have a few polaroids somewhere at my folks house,
not knowing arabic was surprisingly alright, maybe 1/3 of people spoke passable english and hand gestures worked well


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## Storm Smokes Rocks (Aug 16, 2011)

crazy story man!


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