# Wtf



## Cantchangeme (Oct 27, 2016)

Ive tried everything...been left to The streets as of 12...living with women..jailed 27 times..travelled cross country on footsince a teen with nothing...aa...shelters..sleeping under church roofs...im the only one out here like this...anyone who i get close to or try to have a life with kills themself or goes crazy...just walked 30+ miles and thousands of pushups trying to disconnect...nothing works..im really fucked...its like when you play a video game and miss a jump or knowyou cant advance to the next level so you dick around frustrated using up all your shit until the only option is to hit the power button....for years i couldnt put one foot in front of the other without wanting to die every step of the way....20+ yrs on the streets of N.Y. . ...im good...theres no help...motherfucker...if i could only go back...


----------



## Dmac (Oct 27, 2016)

Shit man, hope you get your bearings.


----------



## Mankini (Oct 28, 2016)

Cantchangeme said:


> Ive tried everything...been left to The streets as of 12...living with women..jailed 27 times..travelled cross country on footsince a teen with nothing...aa...shelters..sleeping under church roofs...im the only one out here like this...anyone who i get close to or try to have a life with kills themself or goes crazy...just walked 30+ miles and thousands of pushups trying to disconnect...nothing works..im really fucked...its like when you play a video game and miss a jump or knowyou cant advance to the next level so you dick around frustrated using up all your shit until the only option is to hit the power button....for years i couldnt put one foot in front of the other without wanting to die every step of the way....20+ yrs on the streets of N.Y. . ...im good...theres no help...motherfucker...if i could only go back...



read viktor frankl ''mans search for meaning'' and ''flow'' by csikszentmihalyi.


----------



## tacology (Oct 28, 2016)

It's never too late man. Don't give up hope.


----------



## Cantchangeme (Oct 28, 2016)

Too late to what?


----------



## tacology (Oct 29, 2016)

Well you say nothing works out for you. Those are just bumps in the road.

Try to see it as it all happens for a reason. And you're still alive, it doesn't always have to be downhill and it always won't be.

If you can try to find the positives in every situation, it won't be as bad.


Sent from my iPhone using the Squat the Planet mobile app!


----------



## Cantchangeme (Oct 29, 2016)

tacology said:


> Well you say nothing works out for you. Those are just bumps in the road.
> 
> Try to see it as it all happens for a reason. And you're still alive, it doesn't always have to be downhill and it always won't be.
> 
> ...


I believe more in coincidence than fate...i think i took your first post the wrong way...thanks
Not that nothing works out...to every beginning theres an end and an end a new beginning.. (not in every case,but you get what im saying)
Saw that movie captain fantastic last night...pretty good...
Guess everyones different and my beliefs leave me on the streets..i conform to a point in society at the very least where i have self respect and can eat but dont want what other people have..until im walking down the road in the rain passing by houses with the lights on smells of food and families in the window...when im out i want to be in when im in i want to be out....


----------



## Cantchangeme (Oct 29, 2016)

Mankini said:


> read viktor frankl ''mans search for meaning'' and ''flow'' by csikszentmihalyi.


I can relate both of these works to my life..thanks for the food for thought


----------



## Mankini (Oct 29, 2016)

Cantchangeme said:


> I believe more in coincidence than fate...i think i took your first post the wrong way...thanks
> Not that nothing works out...to every beginning theres an end and an end a new beginning.. (not in every case,but you get what im saying)
> Saw that movie captain fantastic last night...pretty good...
> Guess everyones different and my beliefs leave me on the streets..i conform to a point in society at the very least where i have self respect and can eat but dont want what other people have..until im walking down the road in the rain passing by houses with the lights on smells of food and families in the window...when im out i want to be in when im in i want to be out....



Christ, the Buddha, and many others thought desire, or attachment, to be the worst possible thing to happen to people...I dont know about that. I'm not frikkin enlightened but I do see desire as perhaps an Achilles heel...Maybe getting rid of it would help many people including myself.

If ''desire'' is translated as greed, lust, or covetousness then perhaps it really is the root of all evil. If we stop wanting things we dont have...then what happens?


----------



## tacology (Oct 29, 2016)

@Cantchangeme isn't that how it always is? wanting what you can't have? I mean, people see you traveling and wish they could do that and you're looking in seeing someone with a home and you want that. The grass always looks greener on the other side, right?

I used to feel this way too. I just became grateful for everything I do have at the moment and it will eventually change anyway, because it always does and change is always great or how will we ever grow, right? I'm personally just teaching myself to live in the moment and enjoy it.

I hope we're on the same page now....


----------



## codycodnyk (Oct 29, 2016)

I don't know the details of your story but it sounds like you lack a sense of fulfillment, which I do know a lot about. And that's a really bleak, depressing existence, but I don't have to tell you that. What I can tell you is that enjoying life comes from the inside, not from what you have. 

people have found happiness and peace in pretty shitty places without much, I think gratitude has a lot to do with it. I look at it like this, being grateful for the good parts of your life makes positive energy, and for reasons beyond my understanding, that positive energy attracts positive people and creates positive things. 

everyone gets their happiness and peace in their own way. Some choose their family, some people choose religion, others meditate or find spirituality, the latter being my choice. Sitting or lying down with my eyes closed, with or without music, and just appreciating and feeling peaceful and realizing all the shit I worry about is totally meaningless refreshes me and gets my mood up. 

so, idk man, what I wrote is probably bullshit to you because I know when I felt the way you did, it sounded like bullshit to me, but, for reasons which are too long to explain, I just ended up giving in to spirituality and I'll be damned I'm a new person. So find what works for you, a house won't fill the void as you already know.
but don't kill yourself, feeling like dying and then one day not feeling like dying and liking life is a crazy awesome feeling and you will look back at this time and just be so happy you don't feel that way. I tried to kill myself twice in a week last month and after the second failure, I said fuck it, if I gotta live then I'm gonna be happy


----------



## Cantchangeme (Oct 30, 2016)

Mankini said:


> Christ, the Buddha, and many others thought desire, or attachment, to be the worst possible thing to happen to people...I dont know about that. I'm not frikkin enlightened but I do see desire as perhaps an Achilles heel...Maybe getting rid of it would help many people including myself.
> 
> If ''desire'' is translated as greed, lust, or covetousness then perhaps it really is the root of all evil. If we stop wanting things we dont have...then what happens?


Rosseau...1754
And in the same...possession is 9/10 of the LAW


----------



## Cantchangeme (Oct 30, 2016)

tacology said:


> @Cantchangeme isn't that how it always is? wanting what you can't have? I mean, people see you traveling and wish they could do that and you're looking in seeing someone with a home and you want that. The grass always looks greener on the other side, right?
> 
> I used to feel this way too. I just became grateful for everything I do have at the moment and it will eventually change anyway, because it always does and change is always great or how will we ever grow, right? I'm personally just teaching myself to live in the moment and enjoy it.
> 
> I hope we're on the same page now....





tacology said:


> @Cantchangeme isn't that how it always is? wanting what you can't have? I mean, people see you traveling and wish they could do that and you're looking in seeing someone with a home and you want that. The grass always looks greener on the other side, right?
> 
> I used to feel this way too. I just became grateful for everything I do have at the moment and it will eventually change anyway, because it always does and change is always great or how will we ever grow, right? I'm personally just teaching myself to live in the moment and enjoy it.
> 
> I hope we're on the same page now....


The sun is warm...the grass is green


----------



## Cantchangeme (Oct 30, 2016)

codycodnyk said:


> I don't know the details of your story but it sounds like you lack a sense of fulfillment, which I do know a lot about. And that's a really bleak, depressing existence, but I don't have to tell you that. What I can tell you is that enjoying life comes from the inside, not from what you have.
> 
> people have found happiness and peace in pretty shitty places without much, I think gratitude has a lot to do with it. I look at it like this, being grateful for the good parts of your life makes positive energy, and for reasons beyond my understanding, that positive energy attracts positive people and creates positive things.
> 
> ...


It is what you project that comes back to you..glad to hear youre ok..


----------

