# So, what ya'll think about having kids?



## Deleted member 24782

I want kids.

I know some of you are fathers, mothers? I'm part of a social scene that in general-_discourages breeding, _and I've heard the same ideological rhetoric about it for years from most of my friends, and ideologically speaking, I usually agree. But sometime's I wonder if living your life STRICTLY off ones ideologies is always the smartest move. Why can't life just be visceral, emotional, natural, and random?

So, what ya'll think about having kids?


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## MFB

I would love to have ONE kid. But never unless my situation was perfect, meaning a dependable income and dependable partner.

I dont have an issue with people wanting to have kids. But when people dont plan or consider it, then the kids (most of us) have a shitfilled, emotional scarring childhood. Having kids is something that should be consider thoroughly.

From what I know, you're in a good place and waited til you've reached a level of maturity to deal with the responsibilities of parenthood. I say, DO IT! Fuck the periphal noise.
In addition, You and your wifey would make some pretty lil babes!



Brodiesel710 said:


> But sometime's I wonder if living your life STRICTLY off ones ideologies is always the smartest move. Why can't life just be visceral, emotional, natural, and random?



THIS! To be happy, it's important for us to leave room in our lives to be hypocrites. 

Lastly....Parents....all across the land....they just dont understand.


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## Deleted member 125

Brodiesel710 said:


> Why can't life just be visceral, emotional, natural, and random?



I think life is all if these things at times without the added responsibility of caring for another human life for 18 years or so.

Having a kid shouldn't just be something you wake up and say "fuck what my friends have said I want a trophy of my own!". Theres a lot of emotional and financial responsibilities that come with raising a kid that I dont think most of us are even moderately equipped to handle, which could be why most of my peers have chosen to not have kids. Aside from just not liking kids, that's always been a huge concern of mine.

Have you discussed this with yer wife yet? Word on the street these days is shes got a pretty big say in this too. Ultimately it's up to yall two ya know, but if you do decide together that that's something you wanna do it's a pretty big decision and one of those that you kinda cant take back.


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## Older Than Dirt

I had a kid when i was 42, because before that i was never both a) making enough money and living a stable enough life that it wouldn't be totally irresponsible and b) in a relationship with a reasonably not-insane woman.

I was married for 10 years to another woman, but we were always broke after i stopped selling drugs and went legit. She never had any kids in her 20+ year subsequent relationship.

My son was still born on Medicaid, and nurtured on WIC, but at least we had stable housing and a little money coming in. Having a kid made me get more serious about work/income, so things got better over his life, and we now live in comfortable genteel poverty.

I have never regretted having a child. Babies are terrifying and scream a lot, but after they get old enough to talk, they are an endless source of entertainment, and a chance to listen to a human tape-recorder copy all around them.

My son is 17 1/2 now, a senior in high school, smart as hell, very high grades/SATs, happy, very popular among his peers (i sure never was, gets that from his mom), an excellent guitar player (but prefers King Crimson to punk- damn kids!), and straight-edge, with plans to smoke reefer and try acid after high school graduation.

We brought him up to respect himself, respect others, and question authority. It seems to have worked. He was the only Bernie Sanders supporter in his class (i was a Warren supporter, so he's not copying his dad). He is the only boy in his senior class that is not into hip-hop, and the only one who looks kinda punk/rock'n'roll. He does volunteer work at the local bum-feed. He has honestly never given us a bad day as a teenager- evidently this stuff may skip generations, my wife and i both drove our poor parents crazy. Another reason to marry punk-rock women.

He will be off to a very elite college in the fall, assuming we can persuade them to pry loose a lttle more financial aid, and that there still _are_ colleges in the fall. He wants to be some kind of scientist despite all my efforts to persuade him to do something else. He is also a very serious musician, and a pretty serious actor, so i'm sure he'll continue with those things.

Biology beats ideology every time.


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## Deleted member 24782

SlankyLanky said:


> I think life is all if these things at times without the added responsibility of caring for another human life for 18 years or so.
> 
> Having a kid shouldn't just be something you wake up and say "fuck what my friends have said I want a trophy of my own!". Theres a lot of emotional and financial responsibilities that come with raising a kid that I dont think most of us are even moderately equipped to handle, which could be why most of my peers have chosen to not have kids. Aside from just not liking kids, that's always been a huge concern of mine.
> 
> Have you discussed this with yer wife yet? Word on the street these days is shes got a pretty big say in this too. Ultimately it's up to yall two ya know, but if you do decide together that that's something you wanna do it's a pretty big decision and one of those that you kinda cant take back.



This is good advice. At first I disagreed with the trophy analogy but it is kind of spot-on.


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## Deleted member 13433

When I was a teenager in the 1980s, this was not a part of the plan - having a girl friend was not even a part of the plan.


By the mid 1990s though, and now 29/30 years old, it became part of the plan because I was with the right girl at the right time, I liked her parents, and they liked me, and we were doing everything for the most part the old fashioned way - until she chose to take her life shortly before I turned 31.

For the late 90s, I was a part of an instant family, real nice girl with two kids from a previous marriage, one 11, the other 13 - maybe ?? - and man, this was a very happy period in my life as we did lots of family things together, but then it got to the point where that's all we were ever doing, or it seemed that way to me, as I was kept on a very short leash as far as my past went with music...

So, when I got dumped because I wanted to go hang with my mates in NYC over the weekend of Thanksgiving, in 1999.... that was it for me.

In 2010, I had a very interesting relationship with the person who turned me on to S.T.P. and whom I adopted my dog from.

During this time, we went to the Norwalk Marine Center, it was on Martin Luther King Day, and there was like millions of free-range children, and she looked right at me and said how this cured any notion of her ever wanting children, which I seem to think I concurred on as well.

By 2013, I was again in an interesting relationship with a real special lady from Pittsburgh who also had two kids, and I want to say they were 11 and 15 maybe [??] but the demeaner of her kids was way way different than the woman I was with in the late 90s, where those kids were very disciplined, the Pittsburgh womans kids were - well, free range unschooled etc.... which as time went on I was not cool with.

So she dumped me, and this I view as a blessing.

So, back to your question;

I don't think one wakes up one day and wants kids, I think one thinks about having a family of their own while still being young themselves.

When I was 30, I was into it - but once past that, no way - because I felt I'd be too old once the kid
would be starting to live their own lives.

Like, I'm 55... and I've had a real good run - but now my parents are older, so now the roles have switched and I'm helping out my folks, something many youths would detest.

When I was going for confirmation, our paster told us about a couple that asked him about having kids.
"Get a dog first" was his reply, and I never knew exactly what he meant - until I got a dog myself.

One time I was out with my dog, and we were on a real nice walk, we both sat on a bench and I was pointing out the Derby Shelton Dam, and I realized that Loki was a dog, not a child and I felt very sad, because I thought of how my father would take me all over Brooklyn and Staten Island exploring the old ship yards, etc... and I never got the chance to do such a thing, because I never got to have a family of my own.

So, some sadness there on my end............

But the pastor was right, because my life completely changes 180 degrees because now I had this year old dog, and I knew I was going to devote a minimum of 10 years to my dog, because that is the right thing to do - so all my bad habbits stopped, along with some of my hobbies...

It's coming up on 10 years now, and I still feel this was very good for me and the dog, even though I never wanted a dog.

About 5 years ago, a former aquaintence of mine who is a militant vegan was describing to me how she wanted to adopt a child, and I was kind of close with this woman, and she really went out of her way to get her home set just right... and I thought of how wonderful that would be, to be able to adopt a child and give them a new lease on life.

But as for you, only you can answer that question.

I myself felt that by age 30, it was either do it or don't... and today with things the way they are, I am sad I never got to have my own family - but at the same time happy that it worked out this way, so I can focus on helping out my own parents now, since they need me.

I guess my question to you is - is this something you are prepared to do long term - like forever ??
Because it's not like once they are 18, they are out.... seems kids out here stay at home even into their 30s now.... even more astonishing their parents are ok with that, paying their bills, etc....

If this is something you feel a burning desire to do, have a family... go for it, but at the same time recognize that once you decide to do it, there is no turning back.

Good Luck !!

P.S. of interest, most of my Gen X friends from NYC chose to not have families or wives or kids or any of that, while most of my CT friends did just that - kids, families, etc... which is why they never see me and I never see them... guess I just ain't ready to be an adult yet.

If I were you, I'd try to immerse myself in situations where I'd be crossing paths with as many families and kids as possible, just to test the waters if yu are a bit unsure, and if you are unsure, perhaps the best answer then is NO, because you can always decide later if you feel young enough to properly do so.


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## Deleted member 24782

OTTERWOLF said:


> When I was a teenager in the 1980s, this was not a part of the plan - having a girl friend was not even a part of the plan.
> 
> 
> By the mid 1990s though, and now 29/30 years old, it became part of the plan because I was with the right girl at the right time, I liked her parents, and they liked me, and we were doing everything for the most part the old fashioned way - until she chose to take her life shortly before I turned 31.
> 
> For the late 90s, I was a part of an instant family, real nice girl with two kids from a previous marriage, one 11, the other 13 - maybe ?? - and man, this was a very happy period in my life as we did lots of family things together, but then it got to the point where that's all we were ever doing, or it seemed that way to me, as I was kept on a very short leash as far as my past went with music...
> 
> So, when I got dumped because I wanted to go hang with my mates in NYC over the weekend of Thanksgiving, in 1999.... that was it for me.
> 
> In 2010, I had a very interesting relationship with the person who turned me on to S.T.P. and whom I adopted my dog from.
> 
> During this time, we went to the Norwalk Marine Center, it was on Martin Luther King Day, and there was like millions of free-range children, and she looked right at me and said how this cured any notion of her ever wanting children, which I seem to think I concurred on as well.
> 
> By 2013, I was again in an interesting relationship with a real special lady from Pittsburgh who also had two kids, and I want to say they were 11 and 15 maybe [??] but the demeaner of her kids was way way different than the woman I was with in the late 90s, where those kids were very disciplined, the Pittsburgh womans kids were - well, free range unschooled etc.... which as time went on I was not cool with.
> 
> So she dumped me, and this I view as a blessing.
> 
> So, back to your question;
> 
> I don't think one wakes up one day and wants kids, I think one thinks about having a family of their own while still being young themselves.
> 
> When I was 30, I was into it - but once past that, no way - because I felt I'd be too old once the kid
> would be starting to live their own lives.
> 
> Like, I'm 55... and I've had a real good run - but now my parents are older, so now the roles have switched and I'm helping out my folks, something many youths would detest.
> 
> When I was going for confirmation, our paster told us about a couple that asked him about having kids.
> "Get a dog first" was his reply, and I never knew exactly what he meant - until I got a dog myself.
> 
> One time I was out with my dog, and we were on a real nice walk, we both sat on a bench and I was pointing out the Derby Shelton Dam, and I realized that Loki was a dog, not a child and I felt very sad, because I though of how may father would take me all over Brooklyn and Staten Island exploring the old ship yards, etc... and I never got the chance to do such a thing, because I never got to have a family of my own.
> 
> So, some sadness there on my end............
> 
> But the pastor was right, because my life completely changes 180 degrees because now I had this year old dog, and I knew I was going to devote a minimum of 10 years to my dog, because that is the right thing to do - so all my bad habbits stopped, along with some of my hobbies...
> 
> It's coming up on 10 years now, and I still feel this was very good for me and the dog, even though I never wanted a dog.
> 
> About 5 years ago, a former aquaintence of mine who is a militant vegan was describing to me how she wanted to adopt a child, and I was kind of close with this woman, and she really went out of her way to get her home set just right... and I thought of how wonderful that would be, to be able to adopt a child and give them a new lease on life.
> 
> But as for you, only you can answer that question.
> 
> I myself felt that by age 30, it was either do it or don't... and today with things the way they are, I am sad I never got to have my own family - but at the same time happy that it worked out this way, so I can focus on helping out my own parents now, since they need me.
> 
> I guess my question to you is - is this something you are prepared to do long term - like forever ??
> Because it's not like once they are 18, they are out.... seems kids out here stay at home even into their 30s now.... even more astonishing their parents are ok with that, paying their bills, etc....
> 
> If this is something you feel a burning desire to do, have a family... go for it, but at the same time recognize that once you decide to do it, there is no turning back.
> 
> Good Luck !!
> 
> P.S. of interest, most of my Gen X friends from NYC chose to not have families or wives or kids or any of that, while most of my CT friends did just that - kids, families, etc... which is why they never see me and I never see them... guess I just ain't ready to be an adult yet.
> 
> If I were you, I'd try to immerse myself in situations where I'd be crossing paths with as many families and kids as possible, just to test the waters if yu are a bit unsure, and if you are unsure, perhaps the best answer then is NO, because you can always decide later if you feel young enough to properly do so.



THANK YOU DR. GEORGE AND LOKI DOG!!!!


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## Older Than Dirt

"Get a dog first" is excellent advice for anyone thinking about having kids. If you can keep a dog healthy, and happy, and well-fed for a couple years, and it hasn't bitten anyone without good cause, maybe you might be responsible enough to take care of a baby human.

The biting part because if your dog goes around biting folks, your kid will probably grow up to be a jerk. As the late great Redd Foxx so wisely said "Follow a ugly kid home sometime, see if he don't got ugly parents." Applies to conduct too- see also "Apple, distance fallen from tree".


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## MFB

Another consideration;

Despite what's in your control, even if you do everything right; there is a fair chance you have a shitty kid, and a better chance they grow up to be a shitty person.

Sometimes there's no rhyme or reason, it's just a lottery.

I know some really good people that have shitty kids, and I have known some really great kids that have shitty parents.

You go through all that trouble to only realize ya raised an asshole.....


----can we get in on the flan joke?


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## Deleted member 13433

Very true, sometimes you just never know or understand how things come to be, believe me.... I think of that each and every day...

Just come back from a real nice walk with my dog, now it's nap time for her while I get to do the domestic chores..... this is when it would be nice to have a woman in the house, or perhaps a nice maid on call <3 <3 <3 

But seriously, there is probably no greater love than when a couple decides to start their own family.

May G-d Bless You Always.


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## Deleted member 24782

MFB said:


> Another consideration;
> 
> Despite what's in your control, even if you do everything right; there is a fair chance you have a shitty kid, and a better chance they grow up to be a shitty person.
> 
> Sometimes there's no rhyme or reason, it's just a lottery.
> 
> I know some really good people that have shitty kids, and I have known some really great kids that have shitty parents.
> 
> You go through all that trouble to only realize ya raised an asshole.....
> 
> 
> ----can we get in on the flan joke?



Our fearless Global Village Idiot promised me some mail order flan which I have yet to receive, then my mother in law -for my birthday- bought me 10 premade flans which I PROMPTLY ate.


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## MFB

OTTERWOLF said:


> I get to do the domestic chores..... this is when it would be nice to have a woman in the house, or perhaps a nice maid on call <3 <3 <3


Its typical patriachal thinking like this that makes me wonder why I am even a part of this community! 



Juan Derlust said:


> @MFB I realize this is a gambit to boost your post count but notice how it backfired


Uh? I asked _you_ and @Brodiesel710 a question, which would boost YOUR post count?
Right?
Your welcome!

@Brodiesel710 stepmom sounds like a gem! But. No wonder youre having hip issues; its all that flan coagulating around your acetabulum!

Also, happy belated!


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## Barf

I've been with my wife/partner in crime for over ten years. While she was finishing grad school and I was shooting dope, we never wanted kids. After all I am a member of The Church of Euthanasia.

Towards the end of our twenties we caught baby fever bad. We had "settled" down for the most part and had a steady place/income. So why the hell not, right? 

I had always thought that as soon as we started trying she'd get pregnant. That wasn't the case. Lemme tell you something, baby making sex is some hot hot stuff.

Rafflesia, my wife, gave birth to a happy healthy baby boy on July, 27 2018. It's been both a rewarding and terrifying experience so far, but I wouldn't change a thing.


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## Older Than Dirt

Barf said:


> While she was finishing grad school and I was shooting dope, we never wanted kids.



This got a good laugh out of me, and seems like a wise choice.

Re baby-making sex: I always say, whenever anyone says something nice about my son, "Thank you so much, and only 60 seconds' work!" Women do seem to get pregnant more easily when you are broke and fucked-up.

Best wishes, especially getting through the "Terrible Twos", which can last to 4 or so. They just get intoxicated with saying "No!", a feeling i bet many here can identify with. But it just gets better and better after you get em kinda civilized around 6. And then when you get them shoveling snow and mowing the lawn....

Pro tip: They grow up fast. It seemed like really smart parenting, when our son first learned "bad words" around 5-6, to tell him he couldn't swear until he was 12. 12 came all too soon.


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## Deleted member 24782

Barf said:


> I've been with my wife/partner in crime for over ten years. While she was finishing grad school and I was shooting dope, we never wanted kids. After all I am a member of The Church of Euthanasia.
> 
> Towards the end of our twenties we caught baby fever bad. We had "settled" down for the most part and had a steady place/income. So why the hell not, right?
> 
> I had always thought that as soon as we started trying she'd get pregnant. That wasn't the case. Lemme tell you something, baby making sex is some hot hot stuff.
> 
> Rafflesia, my wife, gave birth to a happy healthy baby boy on July, 27 2018. It's been both a rewarding and terrifying experience so far, but I wouldn't change a thing.



Rafflesia...?? Is your wifes name?? Was going to name my first born after my mom Frankie...but Rafflesia, I like it!


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## Eng JR Lupo RV323

MFB said:


> In addition, You and your wifey would make some pretty lil babes!



Uhh, let's be real- his *wifey *would make some pretty lil babies. Let's hope they fall closer to her side of the tree. 

All jokes aside, if y'all want kids and you feel you're both in a place where it's feasible to have them.. who cares what anyone else has to say about it. Even if it isn't feasible, not many of us were even planned. Shit still works out. I grew up in a meth house with women beaters for stepfather's. I've never done meth or felt any urge to hit a woman. I think being born and raised in less than ideal situations builds character. Make your little tribe I that's what you guys want, they're a lot of fun. Those early years where people say babies are hard are also the same years people refer to as "seems like just yesterday/they grow up so fast/they still feel like my little baby". It ts really fast. My kids are both 20 years old, that shit flew by. They're fucking rad human beings, go make you some.


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## Older Than Dirt

If you're going to have kids, have them when you still are young and strong- i can tell you chasing a kid around the park is not easy when you are 45, or 38 as the wife was, when the boy was 3, and at his peak of "What is the most dangerous shit in this environment? [runs at high speed to it] What is the most dangerous way i can interact with this dangerous thing?"

And we will die when he is still pretty young- i figure i'm good to about 80 (my dad died at 80, my mom at 84), so he'll be only 37 when i go, or maybe 40 if i quit smoking so many spliffs. My mom just died in 2017, when i was 58.


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## roughdraft

ask yourself 'why' you want kids and investigate your intentions deeply, first


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## Deleted member 24782

roughdraft said:


> ask yourself 'why' you want kids and investigate your intentions deeply, first



Because I'm horny and my wifes hot.


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## Older Than Dirt

My son was conceived in NYC a couple months after 9/11. Watching the world burn has a way of getting the reproductive drive going. 

Lots of death? Let's fuck and make some _new_ humans!


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## MFB

I loved a girl who had a son, I would take the him to the park and take him on rides in his lil bike chair thingy. Never in my life have I had so many babes smile at me then when I was with that lil dood.

@Juan Derlust You didnt consider a bikini at a funeral poor form?


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## MFB

@Juan Derlust No way Juanse'! No baiting, twas merely an observation.

It was funny though, as her and I have both dark hair and features and her lil dood had blond hair and blue eyes.
We would be out playing family and some old woman would inevitably come up and say how cute he was and "where in the world did he get that blond hair?"
Cammi would answer "his father has blond hair"
Then the woman would look at me confused, I'd see the light go off in her head, the a look of disaproval at us for living in sin like we were.


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## Deleted member 24782

Juan Derlust said:


> Just the fact you're considering bringing another life into the world at this particular time is testament how powerful that drive is
> tenacity of life!



Testament to the testicle.


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## MFB

Brodiesel710 said:


> Testament to the testicle.


Brodie wins!

Really enjoying this colluquy of cum.

But I agree, have the kid. Its hard for people to wrap thier head around doing something until they see an example of someone of thier same vien do it. Sometimes we need something or someone to reference.


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## MFB

@Juan Derlust Am I right to assume you were zipper challenged?

and.

of course you had more fun with the ability to tongue dem gums!
Cutie.


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## MFB

Ill play good cop.

You'll always have tasty gummy snacks and your wifes boobs would get huge.


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## wokofshame

I've had a little stepkid that calls me Daddy for about a year now. Do I miss boosting, riding trains and hopping fences? Sure, but my life now is more rewarding.
Go for it, there are too many stupid ignorant overfed reactionary mouth-breathers breeding (the majority?) I think we forget that radicals/punks etc procreating can be a good agent for change of some sort.


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## BradKajukenbo

wokofshame said:


> I've had a little stepkid that calls me Daddy for about a year now. Do I miss boosting, riding trains and hopping fences? Sure, but my life now is more rewarding.
> Go for it, there are too many stupid ignorant overfed reactionary mouth-breathers breeding (the majority?) I think we forget that radicals/punks etc procreating can be a good agent for change of some sort.



I couldn't agree more. I raised my twin boys pretty much on my own since they were 2. I can say that the reward I get is far greater then what I gave up in my life before they were born.


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## roughdraft

Brodiesel710 said:


> Because I'm horny and my wifes hot.



Relatable, but something seems to be missing here.



Brodiesel710 said:


> Testament to the testicle.



Testicle Mint?


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## Barf

Brodiesel710 said:


> Rafflesia...?? Is your wifes name?? Was going to name my first born after my mom Frankie...but Rafflesia, I like it!



Rafflesia and Barf(those are our street names).

Did you know a rafflesia is a giant flower, and when it blooms it smells like shit?

Google it, man. 

It really is a pretty flower. A stinky one, but pretty.

Our love was written in the stars.

Our son is an OG love child.

Make sure you eat her ass.

And I'll get on the band wagon that your wife is smoking hot.


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## roughdraft

Barf said:


> Make sure you eat her ass.



i'd say this is one of the most important things indeed - as far as a happy woman producing a happy baby, this sounds to be on par with playing classical music while the baby is in the womb, it's known to make them smarter, healthier, more confident - sugar spice and everything nice


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## Barf

That was a really neat experience, reading/singing to him in the womb.

No confederate

No kkk

Fuck that shit

That shit is lame

Fuck rebel flags

And lynyrd skynyrd


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## Older Than Dirt

When one of my few living friends, a woman married to another woman (who does not like labels), told me a few years back that she and the wife wanted have a baby, i said to her "You girls _do_ realize that no matter how hard you try, it just _won't work_, right?" She punched me in the stomach.

I told that story at their baby shower, and expressed my gratification that the fervor of their love had overcome the so-called "facts of life". Got a round of applause from many women, i was one of two men present. Their boy is 4 now.


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## Deleted member 13433

@Older Than Dirt , and they did this on their own ??
Truly fascinating..........


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## Older Than Dirt

I believe a turkey baster, and some jizz from a friend, may have been involved. Not me- they are both Puerto Rican and very good-looking, and so is the donor.

It is said that, on Father's Day each year, a giant turkey baster is carried down Seventh Avenue in Park Slope, Brooklyn.


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## Deleted member 13433

Really ??
Man that is epic !!


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## Older Than Dirt

If you ever wondered how it is that lesbians have so many kids, now you know.

And the part about Park Slope having a giant turkey baster on Father's Day is an old joke, BTW. Though it might as well be true, Park Slope being an area noted for bourgeois lesbian child-rearing. My friends live in the South Bronx, i hasten to add, they are not that kind of girls.


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## Deleted member 13433

Gotcha !!


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## Beegod Santana

Personally I've dated enough girls with kids that I no longer fear the concept like I did when I was younger. On the flip side though, I'm pretty happy I don't have kids at this point in my life. My family has a history of adoption and I always felt if I were to actually plan it out I'd go that way.


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## Deleted member 24782

Barf said:


> Make sure you eat her ass.



Eating ass, the _ONLY_ ethical consumption under capitalism.


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## roughdraft

papa Smurf would be proud


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## MFB

I've hear Handy Smurf is _handy_ in more ways than one.


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## Crazy Squirrel

I'm an anti-natalist, so of course I'm going to say it's a always a bad idea to bring more suffering into this dying, polluted, overpopulated world where they're most likely going to end up a wage-slave or worse. If you really feel the need to be a parent, then adopt a kid who's already here.


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## roughdraft

That's a good point @Crazy Squirrel 

@Brodiesel710 what's your personal take on adoption?


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## MFB

Crazy Squirrel said:


> I'm an anti-natalist, so of course I'm going to say it's a always a bad idea to bring more suffering into this dying, polluted, overpopulated world where they're most likely going to end up a wage-slave or worse. If you really feel the need to be a parent, then adopt a kid who's already here.



_I see trees of green
red roses too
i see them bloom
for me and for you
and i think to myself...._


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## Origen

I decided to not have kids and I regret it. It’s not possible now, but I am probably deceiving myself . I would have probably made a bad father.


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## Deleted member 24782

roughdraft said:


> That's a good point @Crazy Squirrel
> 
> @Brodiesel710 what's your personal take on adoption?



I'd adopt but only if the baby is black.


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## roughdraft

Brodiesel710 said:


> I'd adopt but only if the baby is black.


oh black baby, bam ba lam
mike brodie wants a baby, bam ba lam
but only a black baby, bam ba lam 
whooa black baby, bam ba lam


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## BradKajukenbo

Does having guardianship over a child that isn't yours considered him your adoptive child? A childhood friend got his 25 year to life in 2014. He asked me if I would take Guardianship of his 13yo son but he would live with the grandparents. "Spaz" will come here and stay about a week often unless its summer then he is always here. Mostly because he grew up around my kids. I look after him and care for him as if he was my own.


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## MFB

Juan Derlust said:


> Flan sent
> - now thinking I should've included at-home pregnancy test kit...



And if you feel
like i feel, baby
then c'mon, oh c'moooon,
Lets get it _flaaaan_
ah, baby, lets get it _flan_


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## Tadeo

When you read through all of these and people saying they feel too old to have a kid at 40 and you realize your dad had you at 54. 😂😂


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## MFB

Tadeo said:


> When you read through all of these and people saying they feel too old to have a kid at 40 and you realize your dad had you at 54. 😂😂



I'm with Pops on this one. Get it all outta your system, accomplish what you want, then have a kid when you actually know some shit. I always assumed I would be well grey-ed if I did ever have a kid. Too much to do, yea?

A client of mine who I always thought was a sharp dood once said this to me and it stuck with me; he had 2 kids later in life and we were talking shop about it.
"Michael, as soon as they have you even, they have you outnumbered"
Meaning, make sure you have a partner that will stick around, and only have 1.


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## Tadeo

MFB said:


> I'm with Pops on this one. Get it all outta your system, accomplish what you want, then have a kid when you actually know some shit. I always assumed I would be well grey-ed if I did ever have a kid. Too much to do, yea?
> 
> A client of mine who I always thought was a sharp dood once said this to me and it stuck with me; he had 2 kids later in life and we were talking shop about it.
> "Michael, as soon as they have you even, they have you outnumbered"
> Meaning, make sure you have a partner that will stick around, and only have 1.


I mean good saying but my parents are divorced haha and old as hell. Also don’t have a kid as late as my parents did latest I’d say is 50 or late 40’s from experience with my parents no offense to them but no teenager wants super old parents. Also there not always super energetic so it’s really a trade off for some to share your earlier life with your kids where you’re more lively or wait till you’re older to have finished all your goals then have a kid, but the thing is when you finish those goals you lose something and then your kid can’t relate to you as much. I don’t know if that makes sense but just my thoughts with having old parents.


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## NewMexicoJim

Eww no. lol But that's just me.


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## Deleted member 24782

MFB said:


> I'm with Pops on this one. Get it all outta your system, accomplish what you want, then have a kid when you actually know some shit. I always assumed I would be well grey-ed if I did ever have a kid. Too much to do, yea?
> 
> A client of mine who I always thought was a sharp dood once said this to me and it stuck with me; he had 2 kids later in life and we were talking shop about it.
> "Michael, as soon as they have you even, they have you outnumbered"
> Meaning, make sure you have a partner that will stick around, and only have 1.



My uncle sums up raising his children like this "I came twice and had 8 kids." True story.


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## Tadeo

Brodiesel710 said:


> My uncle sums up raising his children like this "I came twice and had 8 kids." True story.


And was your uncle happy with that outcome? 😂😂 God do I love this community also if I ever need an interview for a class will you be it? 😂


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## Deleted member 24782

Tadeo said:


> And was your uncle happy with that outcome? 😂😂 God do I love this community also if I ever need an interview for a class will you be it? 😂



No most all his kids hate him and don't talk to him.


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## Tadeo

Brodiesel710 said:


> No most all his kids hate him and don't talk to him.


Not what I expected but I guess not many people wish for 8 kids described parts of my family tho lol.


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## Deleted member 24782

Tadeo said:


> Not what I expected but I guess not many people wish for 8 kids described parts of my family tho lol.



When he got married to my aunt she already two kids, he then had two sets of twins in a row, and helped raise me and my brother. Hence the 8 kids thing. They're divorced now.


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## MFB

Brodiesel710 said:


> When he got married to my aunt she already two kids, he then had two sets of twins in a row, and helped raise me and my brother. Hence the 8 kids thing. They're divorced now.


I've had a few long term partners that have had kids or a kid.
Its funny how when you first meet, and the kid is screaming his/her head off in the back seat about some gummy treats; their shrieks are like nails on a chalk board and hurt you brain.
Then after a while you get used to that sound and barely notice it as background or peripheral noise. I also learned that that tolerance is conditional to the child you spend time with, as if I heard other kids shriek it still hurt my ears.

One girl who I was with for 2 years had a 2 year old. He would throw his binky/passy and then cry like a madman. You'd go and pick it up, give it back to him, then he would smile, chuck it, and start wailing again. Over and over and over. It was maddening! But. I played along.


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## warlo

Since I became sexually active I always felt terrified of the idea of getting someone pregnant. always knew I had no interest in such thing and considered a vasectomy. Of course pretty much everyone I mentioned that to was very much against it, specially on my 20's where everybody said I was too young to decide on such things and that I would change my mind on my 30's. Im 33 now and for every year since I was 15 I only kept piling up arguments and reasons not to want to have kids. I allowed people's recommendations to influence my decision so I postponed the procedure until I turned 30, then I gave it 2 years of very intense considerations (as I wasnt nowhere near a cheap place to do it) where I would engage in arguments with people I respect their way of thinking and put it to hard test on myself by critically thinking as much as I could. I decided that It was pointless to carry on thinking about it as all thru this years I never had a single positive feeling towards the idea of having kids. The only conflicting thing i thought of had to do with other people. I knew it might have an impact on my parents (luckily I have brothers who can do that for me) but mainly that it will impact my chances of finding someone to share my life with, as loads of people talk about not having family but when confronted with the definitive aspects of a vasectomy performed on their partner or potential partner their convictions loose strength (in my experience). I did finally carried on with the procedure and I feel it was the right thing to do, It makes me feel that im in absolute control of my destiny and that the fact that some women might not want to engage in a relationship with me because of it is a part of having control over my life, even if it means less romantic life.


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## Deleted member 23824

Well, late in seeing this, but my 2 cents worth. I was and am a good father. My father was a good provider but in most other ways a terrible dad. I figure most people want to have kids - maybe not most StP members, but in the general populace.

If you have kids, put every ounce of your focus on them, and be willing to let nearly all else in your life fade away In importance. For most fathers that happens naturally, for others they gotta work at it. I told one of my sons that if he was gonna continue being an alcoholic like my dad, or keep using drugs, to please do not have children, don’t even get married please. That really effected him, and I’m glad it did.

Hey Mike, if you have kids, and make it your goal to raise them better than your Dad raised you, as was my goal, the world cannot help but be a better place. And if we teach our kids do an even better job of it than we did, then we’re on an upward spiral.


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## Barf

Faceplant said:


> Well, late in seeing this, but my 2 cents worth. I was and am a good father. My father was a good provider but in most other ways a terrible dad. I figure most people want to have kids - maybe not most StP members, but in the general populace.
> 
> If you have kids, put every ounce of your focus on them, and be willing to let nearly all else in your life fade away In importance. For most fathers that happens naturally, for others they gotta work at it. I told one of my sons that if he was gonna continue being an alcoholic like my dad, or keep using drugs, to please do not have children, don’t even get married please. That really effected him, and I’m glad it did.
> 
> Hey Mike, if you have kids, and make it your goal to raise them better than your Dad raised you, as was my goal, the world cannot help but be a better place. And if we teach our kids do an even better job of it than we did, then we’re on an upward spiral.



Wow faceplant, that really struck home to me.

I fucked up very bad last night and have to dry out.

Get my shit in order.

It's a slippery fucking slope and I slid fucking fast.

I feel like the most selfish asshole in the world right now.


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## ADMG

Man enough to make em, not man enough to raise em. Celibacy for the win.


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## Deleted member 24782

ADMG said:


> Man enough to make em, not man enough to raise em. Celibacy for the win.



One of the best lines I have read on this website.


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## roguetrader

having a kid really gave me a purpose in life - like many people on this site I'm not interested in conventional forms of achievement - you know what I mean good job / big house / shiny gadgets etc etc... rearing a child gave me something worthwhile to do with my time - and when I see what a fine human being she has become I have absolutely no regrets that parenthood put the brakes on my freewheelin' lifestyle....

so yeah Mike I doubt you would ever regret becoming a father- and if Mrs B's in agreement about having kids then you better get on with it, it takes some couples a long while to concieve


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## Odin

Since my parents are the definition of narcissistic fucking evil shits... 

Yea I never worried about having kids. 

That is not to say I could not wistfully imagine... if I finally found myself in a true true loving relationship that would last until death do us part, that I would not wish for children... my own and if more adopted as well. 

Sadly the state of the world. 
The economics and my lack of being able to accumulate resources has probably hindered that path... I don't regret though... life is interesting enough just studying existence and trying to make sense of it. 

If I die with a few dollars in my pocket an old man bachelor... perhaps it can be donated to some orphan for booze smokes and coke.


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## dprogram

Older Than Dirt said:


> "Get a dog first" is excellent advice for anyone thinking about having kids. If you can keep a dog healthy, and happy, and well-fed for a couple years, and it hasn't bitten anyone without good cause, maybe you might be responsible enough to take care of a baby human.
> 
> The biting part because if your dog goes around biting folks, your kid will probably grow up to be a jerk. As the late great Redd Foxx so wisely said "Follow a ugly kid home sometime, see if he don't got ugly parents." Applies to conduct too- see also "Apple, distance fallen from tree".


Try a huge gardedn first!


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## Bozorg

dprogram said:


> Try a huge gardedn first!


Hey everybody- my two cents about kids-
Definitely get and train a dog as well as growing a decent garden. If you can daily attend to both with love you are probably ready. Also it's really hard to raise a kid on the road/off grid and keep up healthcare and dental etc. I raised my son off grid and seasonally transient until he was 4, then I got sober so I could be a more present parent and do better than my old man. My kid is 11 now and I'm happy to be in stable spot where I've got work and can barely afford to pay the pediatric dentist. That shit is expensive. Nothing makes you feel like shit worse than having a kid and not being able to afford care for it. When my son was young I was cutting up roadkill deer I was so broke. Every winter I didnt know if we would make it through the winter with a roof over our heads. I highly recommend some form of stability and social network. Now my adventures are limited to weekends due to work but I'm doing them with my son. Worth the trade.


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## The Thirteenth Orphan

No; not even a little. The thought of any child of mine having to go through even a few of the things myself and others in my financial strata had to for survival is horrifying. Also at the time of this posting the national debt for my country is 26.5 trillion dollars and growing exponentially. The next bubble is coming and it will make the 2008-2009 incident look like a walk in the park. Why birth a child on a sinking ship? 

Ideology? Pfft, this is pragmatism, at least for me.


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## roguetrader

@Crazy Squirrel - so you call me stupid for taking pride in bringing up a child, the one fundamental thing we humans have evolved to do... if you want to depopulate this planet why not take your pathetic 'edgy' attitude and kill yourself now you fucking cunt...


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## beersalt

Save the Earth, don't give birth!


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## MetalBryan

Spoil the rod, spare the child.


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## Deleted member 23824




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## soapmagazine

never thought id have a kid, never planned on having a kid, never thought children were a good idea for anyone in this day in age.... still dont recommend it...

but like a damn hypocrite, i had a kid 3 years ago and love her to death/already learned so much and still learing/an indescribable feeling coming from raising her and the entire experiemce.

me and my partner have been together for over 8 yrs and now all we want is another little family to be friends with so we can socialize her with like minded folks.


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