# Why I started traveling – by Happy Nomad Girl



## Happy Nomad Girl

I recall vividly, sitting Indian style as most children do, in my bedroom closet with tears streaming down my face. The room contained only walls, my wimpers echoing in the empty void.. Today was moving day and I fucking hated it. I lived on 76th Ave my whole life and being just shy of my tenth birthday, the entire universe was collapsing around me.

I often wonder where my life may have led had we not packed our life into boxes and transported them deeper into the Chicago suburbs. I giggle with the image of hands grasping school colored pom poms or an over filled gym crowd cheering after my winning shot. Walking into a friend’s house has the same effect, staring at accomplishments scattered on living room walls, gives me the same “what if’s”.

It takes sometime for one to feel home in their skin. At 25, I’ve only just begun to wipe my shoes before entering the front door. Only now, do I know what being me really is. I’m a hardass & have an ego as large as a professional athlete, yet the only difference is I earned my title. We’ve all had it rough, I have never encountered someone with the perfect life. Who the fuck even said there was a perfect life? Why in the hell do we strive to make other people accept us?

So here I am, sobbing in my parents apartment, just absolutely wanting to die. How could my parents do this? With the last of the boxes stacked in my dad’s red Dodge van, we pulled away, crunching gravel as we headed to our new life.

The first week we moved in, my sister broke her arm & I received five beautiful stitches on my right knee. Both incidents happened on a hill while riding our bicycles. We were city girls placed in suburbia, the only time we were ever able to ride bikes was in the parking lot of our apartment complex.

So now you're thinking, what the hell does this have to do why she started traveling? Well, having no degree in psychology, I can only give you my best guess. I recall the first day of school, rising hours before the bus was going to roll at the end of the drive. I spent all that morning perfecting my hair, painting my nails, making sure there were no creases in my outfit. I was the new girl in school & didn't want to fuck up the first impression. Looking back, I want to shake that girl. Fuck them, who gives a shit what they think, be you! Over the next 13 years, this morning ritual would be repeated, tirelessly & endlessly. Acceptance was the only thing I yearned & I practically killed myself doing it.

View attachment 29778
​Throughout the years, I’ve lived many lives, none I am proud of, yet they molded me to who you see today. I honestly don’t even know how I’m still alive, recalling the days of snorting massive amounts of cocaine after getting off a shift at the local strip club. I even attempted college once, what a fucking joke. Don’t do it, what a waste of money. But hey, you’re talking to the girl who would blow $300 a night on booze, make-up and drugs.

View attachment 29776​There came a point, somewhere around my early twenties, when enough became enough. I needed to get out, rip myself out of this fish bowl. I was living alone in a small apartment by my parents and the lease was ending the following week. I went on Craigslist, found a gig in New Orleans, bought a flight that day and packed everything into two bags. I remember taking off, tears running down my face. I still to this day don’t know why the hell I was crying. Was it because I was going to miss familiar faces? Or the first time going to an unfamiliar place? Happy to start a new life?

I would come back home after months of wandering. Every time left me unsatisfied, a thirst unquenched. You have dreams out on the road, finally returning home, everyone welcoming you with open arms & swapping amazing life stories. Nope, still a bunch of drunken scumbags. I’ll probably piss a lot of people off by saying that, but I don’t care what they think of me any longer.

I spent a good portion of my life wanting the world to accept me. I was wandering down a path, lonely and lost. Somewhere along the road, I discovered it’s not the world I needed to be worried about. I was so wrapped up in perception, I hadn’t realize my only enemy was my own damn self. I wasn’t comfortable with this girl’s who body I lay in, a stranger to myself. I’m thankful for having found this golden nugget so early on in my life. Had I not, I truly believe I would be six feet under.

View attachment 29779​The road saved me, I owe her my life. As a kid, driving down a highway, I would often see a weary traveler, looking a bit too dirty for my liking and everything he owned on his back. I’m thinking…get a job. Why don’t you have a home? Why do you choose to smell like a school gym? With having everything I own on my back, walking nowhere in particular, and not having the luxury of taking a shower, now I know.

When you let go of everything you think that matters, the things that do actually matter [are the one's that] can’t be seen. It’s nights spent around a campfire with strangers, hearing a trucker telling you his best hooker story, bathing in an ocean, seeing the Big Dipper from every angle, eating your last can of beans, standing with your thumb out in the middle of fucking nowhere. These moments, the good and the bad, are going to test you, define you, turn you into a butterfly. Not the outfit you wore to the club last night, not the bachelor’s degree you don’t use, not even the twelve fucking zeroes at the end of your bank account. In the end, it’s going to be you in your death-bed, wondering, did I give it my all? Did I have a good fucking time?

View attachment 29777​I travel because it’s who I am. I live for the moment, a life with no regrets. I don’t have a job, a brand new sedan, a graduation cap on my parents wall, or a place to call home, but fuck all that shit. I have discovered true happiness and all which is needed for that is a good pair of shoes.


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## Kadidlehopper

Amazing writing, some of the best ive seen on this forum so far.

definitely pulling a few quotes out of here, especially the big dipper one


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## Joshicus

Pretty epic story. Thanks for sharing. Makes me think about who I am and where I am going in life too. I wish you the best of luck in your future journies.


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## Quinn the Eskimo

Inspiring piece of writing there.  It's nice to read things by like-minded people.


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## VikingAdventurer

This is one of the most inspiring things I've read in quite awhile.


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## Rolling Blackouts

Genuine and righteous.


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## Elliska

This is fuckin' A+ for inspiration and storytelling, so kudos to you.


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## janktoaster

Seems you've got a knack for writing.. keep it up


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## shabti

> I spent a good portion of my life wanting the world to accept me. I was wandering down a path, lonely and lost. Somewhere along the road, I discovered it’s not the world I needed to be worried about. I was so wrapped up in perception, I hadn’t realize my only enemy was my own damn self.



-> that's the part that rang true for me the most.


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## eskimo

Beautiful story. Truly


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## Bl3wbyyou

Fuckin awesome story.Buncha crap i can relate to.


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## domo

Abso-fuckin-lutly!!! I just am on my second year of my travels. Now im on the second story; writing of my book about traveling. The road. And a equal lifestyle. Similar to this beauty ♡♥♡


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## EphemeralStick

Wait a sec. 76th ave? Chicago suburbs? There is a small chance that we may have grown up next to each other..... I lived at 80th and 127th.


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## Matt Derrick

i'm pretty sure this story has the most likes out of any on stp


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## Trenton

That was a fucking awesome story. I hope to be able to tell one like that some day after I've got a few years of travel behind me and a lot more straight ahead.


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## skyedreamer

Inspiring and an amazing read. Thank you for allowing us into your life in such a beautiful way


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## PrimalCricket

Happygirl, like the others have said, this is such a beautiful story written beautifully. It gives me inspiration to finally set out on the road. Thank you for sharing!


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## northwestnomad

Amen amen amen sister!!!


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## Deleted member 8977

Thanks for writing (and sharing) your story. Go forth!


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## shwillyhaaa

very well written and I love the little cowgirl boot picture at the end.


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## creature

YOU HAVE MY VAN!!!!!







Wasn't she Beautifull??

such a beast... 1974...


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## Matt Derrick

damn dude, that's crazy. i just rode in her van not too long ago. i was really surprised how spacious that vehicle is.


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## creature

yeah.. the Xplorers are laid out really well, & pretty damn heavy duty.. the old tank tech mentality..
i'd still have her, but i decided to try a veggie vehicle (pickings are just too slim, so that part of the rig is removed) & a shorty bus..
the current van is still on the road, & may continue to be the primary escape vehicle.. i see older Xplorers for sale, now & then, & i'm thinking of going back to one.. we'll see how any movement towards the sailing potentials work out..
the camper vans are typically 19' & 9", just enough to stay under the 20' oversize limit, so they carry no RV / length restrictions..
one thing that's tough, though i never tried any other wheels on her, were the 16.5 inch tires.. hard to find, at times..
i think it was around 78 (?) that they started using rubber grommets all the way around on the windows.. 
after 30 years, my shitter & furnace still worked.. amazing..

picked her up in 2004 & did something like 30,000 miles in her..

expensive as all fuck.. 10-11 mpg, hence the toss at the veg oil gig..

i said goodbye to her in 2011, after she had been flooded in outdoor storage, down in florida..

i lived in her up & down the west coast, fresno, yosimite, missisippi, fucking hackensack nj & down in manhattan, not far from the brooklyn bridge....

if the water hadn't gotten up into the engine, i suspect as dented & depaneled & cranky as she had become, she would have just kept going...

in any case, there's still a few out there.. i just need to decide if i'm going to get another 10 mpg beast, or go the route of a motorcycle or smaller van..
20 mpg really is about the bottom line for any hard core mileage, because the fuel is what burns up most of the work money..

anyways.. she was sweet.. always a good sleep, durable, i could take her just about any place.. what would be nice, though, would be finding one with a 6 cylinder engine & scoping out the mpg on it.. i could take being underpowered (the 8 cylinder 440 was a fucking monster).

good luck.. hope yers lives a long, good, loving, solid life...


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## Anagor

Happy Nomad Girl said:


> These moments, the good and the bad, are going to test you, define you, turn you into a butterfly. Not the outfit you wore to the club last night, not the bachelor’s degree you don’t use, not even the twelve fucking zeroes at the end of your bank account. In the end, it’s going to be you in your death-bed, wondering, did I give it my all? Did I have a good fucking time?


[...]


Happy Nomad Girl said:


> I travel because it’s who I am. I live for the moment, a life with no regrets. I don’t have a job, a brand new sedan, a graduation cap on my parents wall, or a place to call home, but fuck all that shit. I have discovered true happiness and all which is needed for that is a good pair of shoes.


I don't know how often I read your post by now. Must have been more then 10 times. And the only flaw of this forum software here is that I can't give you a "Like", "Epic" *and* "Useful" every time I read it.
So true what you say. Very inspiring.


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## RebeccaFaythe

Gah. Oh my goodness. As if I wasn't wanderlusting hard enough already. I am now desperately wanting to get up and go, _tonight_ - if only, ah!


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## Deleted member 15688

“I've always wanted to get as far as possible from the place where I was born. Far both geographically and spiritually. To leave it behind ... I feel that life is very short and the world is there to see and one should know as much about it as possible. One belongs to the whole world, not just one part of it.”
- Paul Bowles


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## Nepptune

Absolutely love your story. Thank you for the inspiration.


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## Minky

Good read!


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## beersalt

You're a badass. Thank you.


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