# quit yer whinin' kneedle!



## kneedleknees (Mar 1, 2015)

I'm posting this in hopes that maybe someone can be more helpful than my irl friends (I only talked about it to one but the response was 'you should get a smartphone and get such and such app')

So I've been out of this relationship with another friend of mine for 2 months or so. we're still friends and I'm pretty much over it, not exactly ready to date again because of other stuff going on in my life, but I'm not sad or angry about how it ended and we're on good terms. my ex is talking to someone new, can't say if it's romantic but it surely seems like it and I'm jealous. but not of the new person, I'm jealous of her (the friend). I'm in university and I don't have any friends here or anyone to talk to in any way, yet she has like so many admirers and people that want to talk to her. and I'm envious of that. I don't like it, I don't really know if I should talk to her about it. I'm not mad at her I just don't know if there's something wrong with me or if this is natural or what.

maybe just whinin' about it here will make me feel better.


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## Johnny P (Mar 1, 2015)

That's life kid, life is full of heartbreak and you can't always get what you want


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## Johnny P (Mar 1, 2015)

Moved to sex & relationships


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## Tude (Mar 1, 2015)

You'll be fine - my goodness I have had many relationships - long term and short term - with lots of other friends who were our friends in between (sometimes those friends were the sad to go away at times) but it gets better. You're in a college - you have sooooo many clubs and other venues available to you - lots of stuff! And I'll bet that your college is in a city that has other clubs and offerings as well - running, swimming, bicycling. Cool to meet new people. I did that in my area. hehe also met up with a bf on a bicycle forum - he's up here now (from PA) here now after a 5 year long distance relationship. It is out there, just have to find it.


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## wizehop (Mar 1, 2015)

Man how you feel is normal (I've been there a few times), but you gotta realise that regardless of how you feel, she is entitled to live her life any way she sees fit. Its good acknowledging to yourself that you don't like it, but it ends there man. Telling her it pisses you off will not change things, if anything it would make it worse. We all have the right to be happy and have as many friends as we want regardless of how other people feel about it.
Time heals all wounds though, and to be honest this wont be the last time something like this happens. Getting over bad endings -in all facets- is a big part of life. As stated already, try to keep busy and keep your mind off the past and towards the future. I know gender rolls aren't cool any more apparently, but you just gotta man up and move on.


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## kneedleknees (Mar 1, 2015)

wizehop said:


> Man how you feel is normal (I've been there a few times), but you gotta realise that regardless of how you feel, she is entitled to live her life any way she sees fit. Its good acknowledging to yourself that you don't like it, but it ends there man. Telling her it pisses you off will not change things, if anything it would make it worse. We all have the right to be happy and have as many friends as we want regardless of how other people feel about it.
> Time heals all wounds though, and to be honest this wont be the last time something like this happens. Getting over bad endings -in all facets- is a big part of life. As stated already, try to keep busy and keep your mind off the past and towards the future. I know gender rolls aren't cool any more apparently, but you just gotta man up and move on.



truth. though to clarify, when I said I didn't like it I meant I didn't like that it makes me feel the way I do. truth be told, she's one of my best friends and I'm gonna support whatever she wants to do. I just didn't know if it would be a wise thing to talk about it with her. I think it'd be best to do like you said and just try to stay busy and focus on other stuff.


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## kneedleknees (Mar 1, 2015)

better advice was given than I expected. thanks everybody


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## Desperado Deluxe (Mar 1, 2015)

Focus more on yourself and limit your exposure to this person. Put the blinders on. It will help you move forward instead of focusing on her.


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## creature (Mar 1, 2015)

hang out, bitch about the world, scream about how life sucks, enjoy the fire of being alive even when you you smack yer thumb with a hammer, & learn from what's gone down about what you *really* want * desire, & how to prepare for it..

watch out for the instant gratification syndrome..

when you have a chance, grab 10 cans of soup & go out into the woods with nothing but a garbage bag to carry them in & a book of matches..
maybe a small pan, but only because it's a hella lot worse now to light up a tin can than 10 or 15 years ago..

find a stream.. a ledge.. bitch at the bugs..
breath the air..

someday you are going to have a huge, huge fucking decision in front of you, & so long as you make it consciously, you'll be ok..

but if you avoid it, or do the thing you prefer less, because it is easier, well...

the faster the water spins, the harder it is to claw yer way out of the pot...

if you look at *life* that way, then when it comes to relationships you'll find yourself with enough sense of self to avoid putting yourself into relationships where the co-dependency is destructive...

i say this because co-dependency is *good*, & is what you really *should* shoot for, but only if you're centered enough to not *have* to be co-dependent, & can find someone with the same sort of strength into a relationship..

yer young, yeah, but be carefull of spreading yourself too thin..

you go thin, you'll meet thin.. know what i mean?

so don't *be* thin..

yer ex now has a life pretty well much independent of you..
*whatever* feelings you're having, so long as you're still able to relate to people on a reasonable basis & aren't being a whack job over it, are perfectly acceptable.. the thing is that you need to do, though, is look at what has happened a bit like dropping off somebody you just had a great conversation with, but that you know that it's come to an end... maybe you'll see each other again, sometime, maybe not, but the ride was great & you made a friend & you'll probably remember them forever..

there's a lot to be said for a bit of solitude, too..
admirers often admire only when there is something to admire..

popularity is very often just another word for politics, and the presence of people who *enjoy* admiring, rather than being *usefull* are not to be counted among anything that should be considered meaningfull..

i say this that you might consider tempering exactly what it is that you admire so much about being admired...

like you said, quit yer fucking whining..

which is excellent, because it means you have balls at least big enough to see.

i'll tell you something else, pal..

don't let the fire of your youth pass away in pining...

love, man...

holy fuck...

love...

love is a goddamned fucking nuke, aimed at one fucking person..

& guess who the fuck that is??

now.. if you find that someone counter-strikes, after you have launches, well..

i dunno know..
maybe you will live happily ever after & raise a shitload of tiny little mutants that no one will *admire*, but will certainly gawk at..

kinda like yerself..

i say this affectionately, because i, too, am among the radiation scarred..

so *use* what you have...

if you whine, you will die.

fuck.. you won't even die..

death is for people who have something worth remembering..

if you whine, you will wind up, more or less, on a couch with orange colored tattoos on your fingers from all the fucking cheese doodles...
that, or even worse, surrounded by kids who are *not* mutants, but keep running off & jumping trains or climbing water towers or other shit that seems dumb to *you*, because you never had enough sense to walk into the woods for two days with matches & soup cans...

now.. the soup cans & matches are allegorical..

you can insert whatever elements you want in their stead, but goddamn..

you need to make sure yer head opens up & that the only thing that matters to you is the world that your brain is going to crawl out & meet.

friends?

you want friends?

i'll tell you where the fuck to find friends..

go play goddamned chess..

i dunno a shit about D&D or higher end simulation games, but find someplace where you can drink beer (or at least be *around* people drinking beer) while you play.. & fuck this sissy 1 hour a side crap.. play *real* chess.. 3 minutes, or 5.. *maybe* 7, per side..
if you get good, so that you can piss off your opponent, then yeah.. ****mayyyybbeee**** 20 minutes per side..

get used to playing with a clock..

get used to swearing at the board & each other..

man..

1 or 2 nights a week at a pub with chess sets?

you will not make friends, you will make *comrades*...

at least that is how it worked for me...

your genetic makeup will certainly vary..

but that's just my advice...

anyways,

good luck, pal..

hit me up if you have any questions about the game...

C.


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## kneedleknees (Mar 4, 2015)

^^^ that was the single greatest bit of advice about anything I've ever got in my life. thank you


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## creature (Mar 4, 2015)

always happy to radiate at a fellow mutant..

thanks, pal : )


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## Odin (Mar 26, 2015)

I have to agree... @creature that was a great post. YOur words sound like a ledge... that your showing me how to build by hand myself and break out a polymetric pull up... and drag myself over the floor... so I can stand up. thanks for an epic post.. 


@kneedleknees take heart... life is full of crazy heartbreak and tough times. You sound solid to me... take care. Be good. Be happy.


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## Jaguwar (Mar 29, 2015)

Damn. Well said.


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## Kim Chee (Mar 29, 2015)

Start bangin' cougars.

They know what they want ~ they know what you want.

Win win.


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## Jaguwar (Mar 29, 2015)

LOL They're also human and sometimes want a relationship of some sort, not just a bang. [emoji14]


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## Odin (Mar 29, 2015)

Okay!!!

now... I'm gonna use all my Anime knowledge!!! to post something about love and life here right now.

Behold...

From the Epic series "Trigun". Edit More complete version of Vash's quote.

Vash:

"My name is Vash the Stampede. I have been a hunter of peace, chasing the elusive mayfly known as love for many many moons now.

There is no rest for me in my search of peace. I meditate diligently every morning, the subjects are life and love. I quit after three seconds.

In my search for peace I also train diligently. I've also made it my mission to teach the precious value of peace to the children who will one day own the World.

I will say it again: My name is Vash The Stampede. I am a hunter of peace, chasing the mayfly known as love." - Vash The Stampede

and

WolfWood:

Life is like an incessant series of problems,

all difficult, with brutally limited choices

and a time limit.

The worst thing is to make no decision,

waiting for the ideal conclusion to present itself.

Make the best choice in a split second.

We are not like God.

Not only are our choices limited,

but we sometimes have to play the devil.

I was doing things for the good of others.

It was my little bit of happiness.

But sometimes, I still think,

“This planet is the worst. It is a horrible planet.” - Nicholas D Wolfwood

Wolfwood and Vash.


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## creature (Mar 29, 2015)

i hope, kneedle, that you're starting to feel a little more centered..
i hope school is going ok, too..

hopefully you've been hanging out & meeting folks & have something a bit more to consider than just a past that didn't become the sort of future you may have hoped for.. 
what you have now is what you wonder about, later on... so.. do your best to know that at least you were fair, when now is then..

what the hell are you studying??

look for any chess players or folks that hang over a board of any kind??

pretty soon, if not already, it's gonna be kite flying time..

get a fun kite.. make one of yer own... go to a hill where people are & start flying..
learn how to attach little hand-made parachutes...
send 'em up with a flower on 'em!!

learn a couple of good paper airplanes!!

then talk about thunder storms... : )



anyways.. hope yer doing ok..


peace, bro..


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