# Too Much of Everything is just Enough



## DrAwqward (Nov 18, 2015)

Thought ya'll would get a kick out of this piece of art I did awhile back. When I am not on the move, to borrow an awesome statement from the late Dr.Hunter S. Thompson, I saturate myself in "copious amounts of heinous chemicals".

I still enjoy to dabble, but I definitely no longer worship it. There is a cool quote who's author is unknown to me, but it goes like this - "When God gives you lemons, you get a new God."

I took this very literally recently. My God was Heroin, and I had been a faithful servant for over a century. I constantly chose it over friends, family, well-being. But it really truly gave me back nothing. Now, the journey I am on is mine, and mine alone... what I mean by that is I don't advocate or will never tell anyone that any one path, ideology, or way of thinking is any better or worse than any other. For me, any path you (anyone) wants to take will lead to the same place. The journey metamorphoses into the goal. They have become one to me. The 12-step pseudo-cult didn't work, neither did the rehabs, mental institutions, or jails. Please don't think I am shit talking the 12 step thing, if it works for you & you are/have become a better person - then awesome. That's why I don't talk shit about Christianity or things like that anymore... just because it isn't my path, my journey, doesn't mean it is or isn't a valid part of someone elses journey to self-realization and improved self-care.

So, don't let anyone tell you what you feel is harmonious with your heart is wrong. Sure, if your ideology bleeds out into physically interfering or harming someone elses journey or person, you're going to get fucked. That's the cool thing about malice, envy, and shit like that... they are a boomerang. Just as positive thoughts, intentions, and love are. That's the beautiful paradox.

So my God is the Sun. The road. The person sitting with me in silence just enjoying the simple fact of being alive. The person sweating their ass off dancing in the festival crowd with christmas lights wrapped around their crutches, despite having muscular dystrophy. Being alone. I guess you can call me a Pantheist.

If you find yourself unhappy, lonely, depressed... maybe take a look inside. Deep inside. What are you worshiping? If it is not giving you what you want, or just taking... get a new God.


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## Deleted member 20 (Nov 18, 2015)

Welcome to STP, nice drawing::snaphappy::. nice to hear that you found a new God. Becoming honest with ones self is the real key to any recovery. Your journey is yours & only yours, we all have our personal journeys to recovery. I know I must rely on other people (not all people but those who are clean & sober & in my trusted network) & outside help (AA, Organized religion, volunteer work etc) but I gotta get honest, stop blaming others & make some real changes to the root causes that I drank/drugged over in the past.

Do you still dabble in Art or Heroin? or both? I wish you luck with doing more with Art & less with taking copious amounts of heinous chemicals, like heroin.


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## Kal (Nov 19, 2015)

Awesome drawing.


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## DrAwqward (Nov 20, 2015)

highwayman said:


> Welcome to STP, nice drawing::snaphappy::. nice to hear that you found a new God. Becoming honest with ones self is the real key to any recovery. Your journey is yours & only yours, we all have our personal journeys to recovery. I know I must rely on other people (not all people but those who are clean & sober & in my trusted network) & outside help (AA, Organized religion, volunteer work etc) but I gotta get honest, stop blaming others & make some real changes to the root causes that I drank/drugged over in the past.
> 
> Do you still dabble in Art or Heroin? or both? I wish you luck with doing more with Art & less with taking copious amounts of heinous chemicals, like heroin.


Thanks for your insight and sharing, Highwayman. Yes, I still work on art often, more often recently. I left pretty much everything (my art portfolio and musical equipment) on this journey. I still do dabble, not in heroin, but I find myself either doing psychedelics therapeutically or drinking and smoking socially. I broke my back a few years ago during a grand ma seizure, but i have found medical marijuana doing more for the pain at night than any narcotics I was prescribed or obtained through other means.


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## Deleted member 20 (Nov 20, 2015)

DrAwqward said:


> I broke my back a few years ago during a grand ma seizure, but i have found medical marijuana doing more for the pain at night than any narcotics I was prescribed or obtained through other means.



Thats great. I hear that 420 works for a bunch of issues on lots of people. I dont have any physical ailments, only emotional problems. I just remembered that I have seasonal depression from lack of sunlight. ::depressed::I am in a funk lately.

I dont drink & or take any drugs at all since getting clean & sober, 420 included. For me; If I transfer my addictions to attempt to fill an emotional void then I am not recovering. Just shifting things around to justify a false reality. If I am not careful I could easily transfer my alcohol/drug issues into sex, gambling, working out, overeating etc. My goal is to keep my life in Balance, for me that is by trying to live a healthy life & surround myself with positive situations & people. I can no longer escape reality with traveling either. Me getting on a train & traveling across the country isnt solving any of my problems with responsibility to my family, working & paying the bills to support them. I must find a healthy balance for traveling in my life but first I gotta get my homelife back on track.

It looks like your finding your way in life. Hopefully STP will help you pass the time between adventures.

PS, I am following you on IG now @some_call_me_mayhem


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## landpirate (Jan 30, 2016)

moved to art and music


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