# How to get over a broken heart.



## SpacePrincess

How do I get over a broken heart?
It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.


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## baloney1

hey no need to get over it just keep boozing,and F.T.W !


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## coldsteelrail

Here's some very bad advice and perhaps some not so bad advice: Break someone else's heart. Learn to fall in love with yerself. Keep yourself busy busy busy. Turn your love to hate. Don't let yourself wallow, but set yourself time to mourn your loss each day, and then redirect your thoughts other times during the day. You can control your thoughts! It takes practice! Hang out with friends. Friends are key. Not to cry on, but to help keep your mind on someone other than yourself and the loser who dumped you. Broken hearts are part of life. You can't get over a broken heart, it will get over you in time. The pain will subside. It's not going to be so chest gripping and nauseating as the weeks go by. Exercise increases endorphins. Go running, dance, do yoga, do push ups, lift weights. Challenge yourself. Learn something new! Set a goal, and achieve that goal! Volunteer! Go traveling! Give yourself time, and love. Chase away false hope of reconciliation. Recognise that it's better to experience a broken heart now, than later, and feel happy that you have the capacity to feel and give love. Recognise that you need to grieve, and that your feelings are real. Sit with your feelings, and observe how they feel in your body. Visualise your connections to this person (as ropes, cords, or roots), and picture pulling them out, and destroying them. Visualise yourself meeting your lover somewhere and then walking away from them forever. Some people say that picturing you two on opposite ends of a bridge and then bombing the bridge, so you can't reach them, helps. Love will almost always end in a broken heart, that's the way it goes.
Establish regular sleeping patterns. Don't let yourself over sleep, or under sleep. 
Spend time in nature. Even if the closest thing to nature you can find is under some crusty bridge, or a patch of weeds in an industrial area. Plant energy is healing. Meditate, even if it's 10 minutes a day. Take deep breaths. Go swimming. Hang out with animals. Smile at old ladies in the street. create art even if you are not an artist. Art can be created using any medium, even dirt. Journal, even if you are not a writer. Journaling is important to monitor your progess and move forward with your thoughts. Create any ritual you can think of with candles, letters, symbols...burying things, burning things, casting things into the wind, or water...anything to either represent saying goodbye, or increasing your strength. Remember you are beautiful. Recognise that this other person does not create you. You are still yourself without them. Force yourself to laugh and smile, even if it's false, and you feel like a deranged monkey. Smiling and laughing creates endorphins and happiness. Don't over do it, or it could backfire. Force yourself to laugh/smile only as a therapy. Do this in private, and don't watch yourself in a mirror, unless your crazy faces help you to laugh. If you feel like shit, acknowledge it, and let yourself cry. Recognise you will go up and down. You will feel good, bad, neutral, angry, inlove, unloved, and good again. Listen to music to help create moods. Wear bright colours, if they don't make you puke...or at least take special care of your appearance. Make sure when you see your reflection, you feel good about yourself. Don't let yourself get dumpy. 
Set time to let yourself think of your loss, but don't dwell during other times in the day. Dwelling creates deterioration in the brain, and hinders growth of new neural pathways. Oxytocin is a chemical released in your brain when you feel in love, or when you are obsessed. That's why the two emotions can overlap. Dark Chocolate contains oxytocin also! Eat some dark chocolate! (Just a little). Drink chamomile tea to relax, or mint tea to uplift yourself. Lemon balm tea is stress reducing. St. John's wort tea might help you feel less bummed out. Use aromatherapy. Chose a scent that helps you feel upbeat. Smell is connected to our memories and emotions.
Stay away from coffee, drugs, and alcohol, as tempting as they are. 
Acknowledge the good things this person brought to you, even if the best thing they did was remove themselves from your life. Appreciate and feel grateful for what you shared, but remember that everything changes, and what you shared is now the past. Learn from your feelings, so you understand how you will make another person feel when it's your turn to break a heart, and also so you can help your heart heal faster next time your heart is broken.
Give yourself space between relationships so you don't fuck with your healing process, or hurt someone else.
Nurture yourself, and give yourself time. Appreciate the change as something positive, and seize the opportunity to grow and recreate yourself.


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## macks

I would say take care of yourself by eating well, sleeping enough and exercising. The alcohol is tempting but it doesn't work, just delays dealing with the problem, and it can become a problem in itself. And no one likes a sobbing self-pitying drunk. It's going to suck but it will suck less if you cut ties, try to keep your shit in perspective and appreciate the things that make you happy in life.


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## Wolfeyes

"...Some wounds are best left open and bleeding. Pain is the litmus by which ecstasy is measured, for without one, how would you know the other when it is found? Pain serves to drive us onward, to seek out pleasure. To succumb to pain is to die, yet to extinguish it fully, and feel no pain is to subject ones self to a fate worse than death. To feel no pain is to feel nothing, for the greatest comforts and pleasures are all indeed nothing if one cannot compare them to anything..." 

- Thomas Alfred Woolfe, _Catalyst_ (excerpt)


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## wildboy860

can I make suggestion? Sew it up with some dental floss!


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## SpacePrincess

How do people love again? When it hurts so much to get your heart fucking snapped open and fed upon?

Thank all of you for the advice. I'm trying. I'm young and I loved him very much and he hurt me very badly. I'm at a loss. But I keep getting told it'll get better, and I'm starting to believe it.


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## macks

Don't worry about the loving again part until you deal with the being happy on your own part. My 2 cents.


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## littlejasonsandiego

time.


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## wokofshame

sleep wit someone else. i mean make sure its not someone who's not worthy of you, don't hook up with someone who's below you on attractiveness/being a person, but it a good way to get over the person before


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## Wolfeyes

MURT said:


> sleep wit someone else. i mean make sure its not someone who's not worthy of you, don't hook up with someone who's below you on attractiveness/being a person, but it a good way to get over the person before


 
Ah, the good old "fucking them out of your system" method.


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## Mr. Expendable

here probably isn't the best place to ask that because you'll get a lot of dick answers..... get angry and get drunk.... i actually wrote a song along time ago with my band about drinking the greif of a broken heart away... it's called loves a bitch if you're interested on hearing it (or if anyone else is) PM me


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## dirty_rotten_squatter

Um I used to scream myself to sleep in a dark corner..till I realized I had no heart


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## atomicpunk

you never get over it. it hurts until you die of old age.


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## MiztressWinter

Wider. lol


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## macks

Yeah, I think that makes three unanswered dick comments in one thread. Maybe a first even for you Wider! Give the girl a break, it's her party and she'll cry if she wants to.


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## Rash L

i like coldsteelrail's answers.


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## Arapala

Wider, you make me feel as if there are no compassionate people left in the world... I guess whatever makes ya feel better dude!

I think there some good ideas on here. I also think the getting drunk/fucking someone else is probably a really bad idea.

Another good tip is, think of this as a positive situation. I know this may seem impossible now, but in time you will probably have learned a lot from everything. Good luck to you.


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## MiztressWinter

Seriously speaking, I have personally found that nothing really helped me with a broken heart...but time. I couldn't eat, sleep, or think about anything else. Sorry that's not real encouraging...but it's real, right? Just being honest with you. The only thing that helped WAS time. The more time that went by, the more I realize that it a) wasn't the end of the world after all and b) I WOULD eventually find someone else and c) If they loved ME then we'd still be together, and idk about YOU but I don't want to be with someone if that love isn't reciprocated. So just do your best to try and function. The more time that passes, the easier it gets my dear. Doesn't mean it won't hurt at all, and sometimes it never fully goes away. But you'll learn to cope with it, and sometimes coping with it is the best it gets. Good luck


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## macks

Yeah, you made that point with the first post. Then the second one came and I was like "damn, Wider is really after this one". Then the third post came and it just seemed like overkill. You made your point, no need to use her as a punching bag because you think it's stupid that she would ask for advice about this on a forum.


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## Poking Victim

Get herpes. You'll forgot about your broken heart.


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## L.C.

for a guy, the best way to get over a girl,is to get on top of another. no more emo pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!


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## Jimmy James

coldsteelrail said:


> Here's some very bad advice and perhaps some not so bad advice: Break someone else's heart. Learn to fall in love with yerself. Keep yourself busy busy busy. Turn your love to hate. Don't let yourself wallow, but set yourself time to mourn your loss each day, and then redirect your thoughts other times during the day. You can control your thoughts! It takes practice! Hang out with friends. Friends are key. Not to cry on, but to help keep your mind on someone other than yourself and the loser who dumped you. Broken hearts are part of life. You can't get over a broken heart, it will get over you in time. The pain will subside. It's not going to be so chest gripping and nauseating as the weeks go by. Exercise increases endorphins. Go running, dance, do yoga, do push ups, lift weights. Challenge yourself. Learn something new! Set a goal, and achieve that goal! Volunteer! Go traveling! Give yourself time, and love. Chase away false hope of reconciliation. Recognise that it's better to experience a broken heart now, than later, and feel happy that you have the capacity to feel and give love. Recognise that you need to grieve, and that your feelings are real. Sit with your feelings, and observe how they feel in your body. Visualise your connections to this person (as ropes, cords, or roots), and picture pulling them out, and destroying them. Visualise yourself meeting your lover somewhere and then walking away from them forever. Some people say that picturing you two on opposite ends of a bridge and then bombing the bridge, so you can't reach them, helps. Love will almost always end in a broken heart, that's the way it goes.
> Establish regular sleeping patterns. Don't let yourself over sleep, or under sleep.
> Spend time in nature. Even if the closest thing to nature you can find is under some crusty bridge, or a patch of weeds in an industrial area. Plant energy is healing. Meditate, even if it's 10 minutes a day. Take deep breaths. Go swimming. Hang out with animals. Smile at old ladies in the street. create art even if you are not an artist. Art can be created using any medium, even dirt. Journal, even if you are not a writer. Journaling is important to monitor your progess and move forward with your thoughts. Create any ritual you can think of with candles, letters, symbols...burying things, burning things, casting things into the wind, or water...anything to either represent saying goodbye, or increasing your strength. Remember you are beautiful. Recognise that this other person does not create you. You are still yourself without them. Force yourself to laugh and smile, even if it's false, and you feel like a deranged monkey. Smiling and laughing creates endorphins and happiness. Don't over do it, or it could backfire. Force yourself to laugh/smile only as a therapy. Do this in private, and don't watch yourself in a mirror, unless your crazy faces help you to laugh. If you feel like shit, acknowledge it, and let yourself cry. Recognise you will go up and down. You will feel good, bad, neutral, angry, inlove, unloved, and good again. Listen to music to help create moods. Wear bright colours, if they don't make you puke...or at least take special care of your appearance. Make sure when you see your reflection, you feel good about yourself. Don't let yourself get dumpy.
> Set time to let yourself think of your loss, but don't dwell during other times in the day. Dwelling creates deterioration in the brain, and hinders growth of new neural pathways. Oxytocin is a chemical released in your brain when you feel in love, or when you are obsessed. That's why the two emotions can overlap. Dark Chocolate contains oxytocin also! Eat some dark chocolate! (Just a little). Drink chamomile tea to relax, or mint tea to uplift yourself. Lemon balm tea is stress reducing. St. John's wort tea might help you feel less bummed out. Use aromatherapy. Chose a scent that helps you feel upbeat. Smell is connected to our memories and emotions.
> Stay away from coffee, drugs, and alcohol, as tempting as they are.
> Acknowledge the good things this person brought to you, even if the best thing they did was remove themselves from your life. Appreciate and feel grateful for what you shared, but remember that everything changes, and what you shared is now the past. Learn from your feelings, so you understand how you will make another person feel when it's your turn to break a heart, and also so you can help your heart heal faster next time your heart is broken.
> Give yourself space between relationships so you don't fuck with your healing process, or hurt someone else.
> Nurture yourself, and give yourself time. Appreciate the change as something positive, and seize the opportunity to grow and recreate yourself.



Sounds rather complex. A bottle of Jim Beam usually works for me


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## Blackout

ha wildboy thats some funny shit


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## maxwellmurder

I do know how you feel ina sense. I dated a guy for about a year and now he has a new girlfriend and it Hurts. My heart aches more than i could imagine knowing hes with somebody else and im alone with nobody. But honestly all you can do is move on. Everyday is a new day full of new experiences.


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## rock city

alcohol is the only proven method.


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## Wolf

Health really is one of the best ways to get through depression, cardio has helped me a lot with anxiety, eat well, or at least, not too much of anything too crappy. Usually I keep good track of my calories, but after my fast in prison I ate like crazy for a few days now and I keep waking up feeling moody and sick, but after a 30 min run I feel much better. Brew really won't help much, it can go one of two ways and the cards are in the air with every shot/beer.


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## dawgrunner

Find the peace of your mind through a trek. Travel to the eastern gateway of the indian spirits. Seek the southern, northern and western gateway. Is the eastern gateway located at the limestone bridge on _Mackinac Island_? Travel there and speak your question to the the creator spirit of the Anishinaabe, Gitchie Manitowit .The great and good spirit, Chief of all Indians.
Seek out and talk to Rainbow Eagle. Visit the location of the Pacific white sage growing in the wild in early may before the White sage smoke becomes strong in its burning. make and leave a offering of peace to the white sage when you remove some of its leaves. Dry it in a warm dry place. make yourself enough bindles to purify yourself in your travels.


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## coolguyeagle76'

shed blood in the cold moonlight, hunger is for wolves, there is only pain.


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## thisisme

L.C. said:


> for a guy, the best way to get over a girl,is to get on top of another. no more emo pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!


 if you dont want "emo" maybe you shouldnt open up a thread titled "how to get over a broken heart". just a thought. i know it gives you extra crust points to be a dick to someone who is asking for honest advice, but get over yourself. And that goes for all the dick comments. jeez people have a heart


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## bwad99

Don't go the self-destructive route, doesn't help at all. What helped me was reading into Buddhism and attachment, actually it was this website:
http://viewonbuddhism.org/attachment.html

maybe it will help ya maybe not everyone is different. I just found that I was getting to attached to the person so it hurt when we parted.

Also time, it does get easier.


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## Johnny P

Widerstand said:


>



I LOL'd


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## L.C.

thisisme said:


> if you dont want "emo" maybe you shouldnt open up a thread titled "how to get over a broken heart". just a thought. i know it gives you extra crust points to be a dick to someone who is asking for honest advice, but get over yourself. And that goes for all the dick comments. jeez people have a heart


 
A broken heart can be dealt with through mechanical means. Using logic and reason instead of tears. Emotions didn't create the internal combustion engine, nuclear physics, or antibiotics. When emotions solve real problems let me know.


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## pigpen

five words....

steel reserve high gravity lager 

oh and lots of depressive black metal.

oh and i should mention, these things won't alleviate your depression, just make you comfortable in it. try to embrace it without becoming toooooo fucked up and jaded. and if you have to self mutilate, don't cut yourself. heat up a piece of metal till its red hot and gently yet firmly press it against some soft flesh. the rush is similar to that of right when you see the blood mix around in the spike after drawing back, just before you push the plunger in.

oh and did i mention that i give terrible advice?


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## thisisme

L.C. said:


> A broken heart can be dealt with through mechanical means. Using logic and reason instead of tears. Emotions didn't create the internal combustion engine, nuclear physics, or antibiotics. When emotions solve real problems let me know.


 Having emotions is an innate part of being human. well logic and reason are great and good for many things, they dont make it hurt any less when youve just been through a bad break up. i dont think every situations validity, especially an emotional one, can be based on how many logical problems it will solve. Thats kind of irrelevant. Its more about what will help you heal faster? tears can be healing, its a form of physical and emotional release. nothing wrong with that. Not only that but everyone deals with things and heals differently. im not saying the only thing one should do is sit around and feel sorry for themselves and whine about how horrible their life is, but theres a difference between that and owning your emotions. just my two cents. and as far as advice goes id say coldsteelrail is right on.


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## JungleBoots

drown thine sorrows in activity. doing things with friends tends to do wonders i'd say. hell it may not seem palpatable soon after a breakup, but getting up and doing cool shit is the best way to meet new people and discover new things that you love.


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## Storm Smokes Rocks

hookers and some lokos that should help ya


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## bikegeek666

SpacePrincess said:


> How do I get over a broken heart?
> It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.


 time, fucking other people. i kind of always hold onto a little heartbreak tho because heartbreak is predicated on remembering and missing the special things about a person, and i think it's fine and even good to hang onto those good things.


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## bikegeek666

oh and that's not a dick answer, i really mean it. fuck other people. or just smooch 'em. or just flirt and stay up til the sunrises. or whatever. do the stuff you used to with your ex and remember that you can still do that stuff with other people and your chances for love and happiness still totally exist and enjoy where you are who you're with and the possibilities that surround you. i'm still kind of not over my former partner and we broke up almost 9 months ago, but i am definitely seeing some rad people now and am happy and okay with my life because of seeing other people and knowing that shit is gonna be juuuuuust fine.


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## LeeevinKansas

run. works for me. run away. run from your problems. thats what i do. it works everytime. course i do not suggest leaving town if your still hurting, cuz being lonely in the middle of nowhere/getting over someone is a deadly combo.


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## acrata4ever

Get even what info you got on this guy? Adresses phone numbers social security number you can really make this heels life a living hell what you got on him? Let's have some fun.


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## rezmutts

ha ha it does suck to lose someone you truly loved and care for, but the fact that man is the bastard who only think with their cocks is a reality.. single mothers are strong in mind and heart..


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## trash diver

Space Princess,i know it hurts,and pain can make you feel isolated.You are not alone.Even if a person loses everything,you can always start over.But you must have faith in yourself.There is hope in each sunrise,and if you have hope you have everything. God bless.


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## acrata4ever

most people just fuck all their exes friends. payback time.


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## scales

i don't think you can get over it even with time i think it's always gonna be i still can't get over my love for these friend that i have and its been over ten years


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## GetOutOf717

My experience of getting over a broken heart:

Look at the relationship from a different point of view. What REALLY happened? It was failed from the start, and just a drawn out downhill shit. I was in this relationship that I knew from the start wouldn't work because of our differences, but I was so desperate that I tried to make it work anyway. My most recent relationship ended only a couple months ago. When it began I was at occupy lancaster. I was in the city busking on "first friday" and met this girl. Long story short ended up living with her through christmas until she moved out a couple of weeks ago. At first I thought I found true love. A girl that took me in from the street and let me live with her and her mother. (who ended up being my 2nd mother, one of the nicest ladies I've ever met)

I was wrong. I didn't really realize it until the end, but this girl is a sociopath, self centered, and just overall a bitch. She is bipolar, and is so to the point I would call "unstable". During our relationship she would go off on me for driving to sheetz and back without telling her I was leaving. She was very clingy and would go through very dramatic periods of mania and depression. Although I loved her very much, and tried as hard I could to make things work, it would simply not work. Although I had my own faults, at the end of everything it was episodes of us yelling at each other, leaving the house for days at a time, and endless verbal, almost physical abuse at times.

Through the dramatic ups and downs the love we once had crashed and burned. In the course of 3 dramatic months, of thoughts of marriage, to her saying "I would have slit your throat in your sleep if I haven't of left last night" My emotions were ravaged. I made very bad decisions. I got caught up in a fucked up cycle of smoking weed and occasionally even bath salt, coke, and even meth. This especially worsened after the breakup, caught up in my own self pity, failing to realize I simply just needed to move on and get away from this mess. After this, what felt like an epiphany, after fleeing the crutches of blinding "love", I finally saw things in a new light. She moved out of the house and I am now living with her mother who treats me as a son. We have the same views of her daughter. She is a self centered bitch.

Recently I have thought more and more about traveling. I've been doing less sitting around the house and I have been spending periods of time just getting out. The feeling of just having some clothes and a guitar on my back is so liberating. Living off the comforts of home compared to busking, and giving everything you got to make enough to eat, buy clothing, and survive is such a different world. I have not been doing stupid synthetic coke or hard drugs anymore, although I do often smoke weed. I am no longer depressed, and when I am home I try to contribute as much as I can. I feel more free than ever, and I know it can only get better. Coming out of this depression has been so great. I am no longer a prisoner. Life is beautiful! Today I spent 80% of the day outside. It was 80+ degrees out. I hung out with the neighbor lady and got a nice tan from walking around shirtless in my cutoff dickies. Just learn to love the little things. Relationships are too much drama! For now on females are only friends or smashed and dashed.


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## Earth

My experience shows that with me it takes time.
Time and searching / reflecting.... and doing stuff which does more harm than good.
This time last year, I was a real mess because I knew my woman was leaving for another guy cross country but today, right now - man, I'm glad she's gone.
I'm healthier today than I've been in over a dozen years, although I feel my dog should take the credit for getting me back on track.
That being said, I'm pretty much finished with the whole mate thing.
I tried 3x and failed 3x, this last time was strike three, I'm out... and everything's gonna be alright, it's cool....
Some people should simply be alone, not in any kinda relationship - and I just happen to be one of them.

The important thing is to do what your heart tells you to do, because when you do something out of love it can never be wrong.


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## robbaked

Relationships can definitely fuck a person up. If they're good its awesome. If it turns sour then it's the worst thing ever. Depending on how much you feel for the other person, emotions can tear a motherfucker up. I met someone and recently made it official. Now, a month later, i think i fucked it up and its making me one depressed, failing asshole. Point; don't ever fall in love.


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## WingNnt

When I feel that way I just make sure to maintain a constant state of inebriation. That way I focus on other shit and problems that it causes, instead of the love that just got ripped away from my heart. Not the best advice, but its the easiest and most effective (ive found). It does create new problems that I personally think are easier to deal with.


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## wildboy860

mend it with super glue and dental floss. suck it up and move on. time will heal, the rest is up to you.....


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## slips

eat a koala


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## ThatSpickDude

I like this girl. The way she thinks. The way she talks. I love her personality. Shes amazing. I love her from head to toe. On the inside and out. All I wish is that we could cuddle all day and all night. I dont really care about sex, of course I want it. I wanna be able to hold her in my arms and tell her I love her. I'd do anything for her. Anything. I didnt even read what this post was about im just typing stuff.

Anyway, she loves sex and has a couple of guy friends who...... Well make her theirs. She tells me she has feelings towards me and she wants me to be hers and to call me her boyfriend.

I dont believe in realationships or being tied down to another person at such a young age. Of course shes the only exception. Even if we were in a relationship I know she would 'Cheat" on me with another person.

My advice, Youre young! You shouldnt have to deal with heartbreak at such a young age! Trying to be tied down with another person which you probably wont be with forever is kinda dumb. Have some fun! Meet people! Mingle around!


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## crow jane




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## Meg




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## Benny

Broken hearts are for assholes- Frank Zappa


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## Koala

slips said:


> eat a koala



say what now?

anyway....old thread, but much needed, and @coldsteelrail hit the nail on the head. Time, and time with friends & self are truly the best ways to move on.


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## japanarchist

I don’t think there is an easy way to get over a borken heart or being abandoned or betrayed. You have to carry on with your life, and eventually you will start to forget about them and the pain they caused.

One of the worst things you can do is try to numb yourself with drugs and boozs, you’re just delying the inevitable and destorying your body and life in the process. If you break a glass on your bedroom floor and cover it up with a rug....its still there, and it can still hurt you when you inevitably have to walk on it. As much as it sucks, pain and hardships helps us grow. Experience and embrace your emotions as they come, and as they eventually go. If you need to cry or be alone or angry then allow it to happen, but trying to suppress it isn’t helpful.

Learn from past relationships and apply that knowledge to new ones to make them better than the ones before. Remember that this too shall pass.


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## CelticWanderer

probably corny, but if you can, make something with it. write a song or several, poetry, or anything really. I feel like if you can face something down and wrestle with it till you create some you get power over it and it becomes easier to deal with.


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