# Lesson to oneself



## celticpunk (Feb 20, 2016)

Don't try to take a piss in a empty beer can while lying down in a tent... ::finger::


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## angerisagift (Feb 20, 2016)

y the fuck would i ever want 2 do that


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## Kim Chee (Feb 20, 2016)

Pissing and lying down is generally a bad idea unless you really need to go while hiding from somebody.

If you aren't hiding and this is just "your thing" I recommend upside down diarrhea.


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## Tude (Feb 21, 2016)

you haz terrific aim skillz ...


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## celticpunk (Feb 21, 2016)

angerisagift said:


> y the fuck would i ever want 2 do that


it wasn't a recommendation


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## angerisagift (Feb 21, 2016)

celticpunk said:


> it wasn't a recommendation


oh ok that is good usually i would try a gatorade bottle


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## angerisagift (Feb 21, 2016)

also dont eat yellow snow


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## outlawloose (Feb 21, 2016)

I learnt this lesson lying down while hiding in a well car. I was rolling though dt San Antonio so I couldnt stand up. I tried pissing down the gap between my platform and the shipping container thinking the airflow would suck it down towards the trax but it was blowing the other way, spraying a fine mist all over me and my gear. Lesson learnt.


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## Wawa (Feb 21, 2016)

Fuck yeah piss story thread!

One time I tried to piss out a hole in the floor, inside the shelter of a Canadian grainer. This was during a pretty awful scary windstorm in Sask, and also on a moderately fast moving train. So, of course, all that piss just sprays me in the face. I manage to stop the flow, and piss into a jar instead.... then I try to pour out the jar, but, uh, kinda ended up pouring it all over my friend, who woke up freezing and piss soaked(It was a lot of piss. I was kinda proud of my bladder for being such a sport.)

Of course I lied and acted confused. Onboard a train just isn't the best place to admit "yes, we are both covered in piss and it's mine"

Uh, yeah. Being female, never tried no sideways pissing, but I'm surprised you guys dont do it more often.


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## Desperado Deluxe (Feb 21, 2016)

I actually have met someone that had a camp on the side of a hill and had a small hole ripped in the tent with a funnel to piss in and a hose running out of the hole in the tent and down the hill. 

I fucken hate myself I wake up in a blur everyday stand up and just piss as far as I can shoot it away from my sleeping spot. Too lazy to put shoes on just to piss.


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## angerisagift (Feb 21, 2016)

Fox Spirit said:


> I actually have met someone that had a camp on the side of a hill and had a small hole ripped in the tent with a funnel to piss in and a hose running out of the hole in the tent and down the hill.
> 
> I fucken hate myself I wake up in a blur everyday stand up and just piss as far as I can shoot it away from my sleeping spot. Too lazy to put shoes on just to piss.


i did that 2 went it is snowing and i was camped out by the Thompson River


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## Desperado Deluxe (Feb 21, 2016)

angerisagift said:


> i did that 2 went it is snowing and i was camped out by the Thompson River



I don't think you understand I do this everyday in the same spot. The fucking mosquitoes are breeding in it and then they're coming to bite my ass at night.


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## angerisagift (Feb 22, 2016)

dammmmmmmmm invest in a gatorade bottle and dump that sheeeeeeeeeeeeit in the garbage on the way out


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## outlawloose (Feb 22, 2016)

#selfrespect


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## Matt Derrick (Feb 22, 2016)

I have a strange feeling that this is going to be another thread that just won't die


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## Mankini (Feb 22, 2016)

pipi, yeah. lets talk about farts for a moment, shall we? 

i personally hate when guys next to you at urinals fart and you cant get away because youve just started to pipi.


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## warlo (Feb 22, 2016)

when its winter and its cold as fuck, males can keep a wide mouthed bottle (a normal one would do if you wanna risk what OP just told us) inside the sleeping bag, when needing to pee just raise your hips and pee in the bottle as if you wanted to pee on your face or something like that (sorry, but that's the best way I get to explain the without using posture names or something), then put the lid back on and hug your above 36s degrees celcius temporary heater.

The friend who told me trick also told me that he would intentionally drink as much as the bottle could hold (2L in his case as he had that kind of bottle) so that in a couple hours, every night, he would have as much heat as he could get.

making a wrong into a right OP, right there.


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## Deleted member 15262 (Feb 22, 2016)

Oh god, when I was in this abandoned motel in Florida I had to pee twice that night, but held it as long as i could because a thousand mosquitoes were waiting for me, couldn't hold it any longer so i had to pee in this corner next to where i was sleeping...no where else to pee! and little did i know there was someone else camped inside and saw me peeing and swatting away those damn mosquiotoes, and called out "if you need a bathroom theres one in here"... was really embarassing but I couldn't hold it. ended up moving camp cuz the flow kept crawling towards my sleep area. 
screw florida and those mosquitoes


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## Wawa (Feb 22, 2016)

Piss in the bladder can slightly lower your body temp, since it requires more energy to keep it up to body twmp, or something like that. Using your pissbottle as a heater though, not too bad an idea.

When I used to spend more time on a bicycle, in remote desert backroads and such, I'd ration water to the point of boiling piss for a hot water bottle on cold nights. Takes a bit less fuel/fire time then starting with cold water, too 

Long live the piss thread!


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## Desperado Deluxe (Feb 22, 2016)

Oh how about those jackasses that walk into the local nastiest public restroom there is and say "ugh it smells like shit in here" like no fucking shit genius what did you think people came in here for?


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## angerisagift (Feb 22, 2016)

any bowel movement stories gone bad?????????????? LOL


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## Wawa (Feb 22, 2016)

Yeah, but there is a limit on what I'm going to share!


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## angerisagift (Feb 22, 2016)

Wawa said:


> Yeah, but there is a limit on what I'm going to share!


booooooooooooooo #tease


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## Wawa (Feb 23, 2016)

Poopin' in a chipbag. Some people ain't got no delicacy with cameras....


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## celticpunk (Feb 23, 2016)

warlo said:


> when its winter and its cold as fuck, males can keep a wide mouthed bottle (a normal one would do if you wanna risk what OP just told us) inside the sleeping bag, when needing to pee just raise your hips and pee in the bottle as if you wanted to pee on your face or something like that (sorry, but that's the best way I get to explain the without using posture names or something), then put the lid back on and hug your above 36s degrees celcius temporary heater.
> 
> The friend who told me trick also told me that he would intentionally drink as much as the bottle could hold (2L in his case as he had that kind of bottle) so that in a couple hours, every night, he would have as much heat as he could get.
> 
> making a wrong into a right OP, right there.


Yeah man your not wrong, the piss bottle heater trick definitely woks, just cuddle up with that bottle of piss.
Maybe the posture position is called the fountain.


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## celticpunk (Feb 23, 2016)

long live the piss thread!


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## celticpunk (Feb 23, 2016)

@Wawa Thanks for brightening up my day, I was in stitches laughing reading your story nearly fucking pissed myself.


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## celticpunk (Feb 23, 2016)

angerisagift said:


> any bowel movement stories gone bad?????????????? LOL


Holy shit! where do we begin..


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## Odin (Feb 24, 2016)

#pissSkills #gottapoo



celticpunk said:


> Holy shit! where do we begin..



Done the standard bottle use camping and so forth... and dude's gotta piss drunkly in a city alley way after a long night on the town right?
As for number 2.
When I was a wee little bastardo, I do recall I dropped a duce in the bushes next to a Church's handicap ramp... hows that for Holy Shit?


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## Mankini (Feb 24, 2016)

http://www.guilintea.com/newsView.aspx?ID=30


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## celticpunk (Mar 3, 2016)

Odin said:


> #pissSkills #gottapoo
> 
> 
> 
> ...


At least you dropped one in the bushes and not in the church, but i reckon the bible would make some ok ass wipe.


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## WaddlesMD (Mar 9, 2016)

sideways... Narrow bottle opening..I'm usually spot on. But those morning wood leaks tend to be sprays instead of streams. The squeeze and slowly let it go tends to help!


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## roguetrader (Mar 11, 2016)

at the Glastonbury Festival last year a friend of ours Claire decides that boys are gonna piss in one area and girls are gonna piss in another area and never the twain shall meet - apparently mixing male and female urine together is what makes it stink to high heaven.... cue Claire spending days trying to shepherd literally hundreds of wasted visitors to our camp to the designated piss spots, screaming at them if they got it wrong - did she succeed ? what do you think ! i suppose it kept the smell down for the first few days.......... 

next up a jolly story of defecation - many years ago we went to see Conflict in Manchester - it took about two hours to get there and the speed i snorted before getting in the car had me desperate to shit all the way.... i get to the gig and sprint to the toilet and dump the load rapido and then realise theres no paper to clean up with ! quick as a flash in my best Eagle Scout manner i pulled out a pack of Rizla - the UK version of Zig Zag rolling papers - and proceed to stick the entire pack together in one long sheet and make just about enough improv bog roll to wipe mein ass with.....


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## awkwardshelby (Mar 12, 2016)

Oh jeez I've definitely squatted in between my open car doors while camping out many a time. There was one night where I woke up to pee and I ended up tripping on a rock and falling face first into the designated pee spot. Let's just say I ended up dunking my head in the freezing ass lake at 3am trying not to scream and wake everyone up for about an hour. 

Also, my partner today in the car said that she has shit her pants more times than she'd like to mention, haha!


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## milkhauler (Mar 22, 2016)

ZIPLOCK Bags. I've kept them for 20+ years on the trk. Nice when ur stuck in LA traffic. Fill and toss out at your next stop. Middle of night urges are also nice, since I dont have to climb out of a warm truck. They are 10 times more portable than a single bottle.


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## Desperado Deluxe (Mar 23, 2016)

Actually a couple years ago I was on the "shit my pants tour" because damn near every time I got off a train I sharted in my pants. Washin my draws in many a gas station sinks.

Also another great one when I was with a friend in berkley and I was eating a coconut and while drinking the milk I was explaining to her that your not supposed to drink the brown coconut milk because it will make you shit yourself. And she said "so why are you drinking it?" Sure as shit we get about two blocks away from the store and rip a shart then did a very funny walk right back to the store and had to clean my damn undies yet again..

Come to think of it on the "shit my pants tour" I was eating a lot of coconuts...


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## Desperado Deluxe (Mar 23, 2016)

Oh and also I pretty much got kicked out of the house because I kept farting in my girlfriends bed.. true story.. 

The fat sloppy one I laid on her leg while she was still sleeping that was the last straw..

I torment most of my girlfriends with farts..

Well probably all of them actually...


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## celticpunk (Apr 8, 2016)

Fox Spirit said:


> Actually a couple years ago I was on the "shit my pants tour" because damn near every time I got off a train I sharted in my pants. Washin my draws in many a gas station sinks.
> 
> Also another great one when I was with a friend in berkley and I was eating a coconut and while drinking the milk I was explaining to her that your not supposed to drink the brown coconut milk because it will make you shit yourself. And she said "so why are you drinking it?" Sure as shit we get about two blocks away from the store and rip a shart then did a very funny walk right back to the store and had to clean my damn undies yet again..
> 
> Come to think of it on the "shit my pants tour" I was eating a lot of coconuts...





Fox Spirit said:


> Actually a couple years ago I was on the "shit my pants tour" because damn near every time I got off a train I sharted in my pants. Washin my draws in many a gas station sinks.
> 
> Also another great one when I was with a friend in berkley and I was eating a coconut and while drinking the milk I was explaining to her that your not supposed to drink the brown coconut milk because it will make you shit yourself. And she said "so why are you drinking it?" Sure as shit we get about two blocks away from the store and rip a shart then did a very funny walk right back to the store and had to clean my damn undies yet again..
> 
> Come to think of it on the "shit my pants tour" I was eating a lot of coconuts...


hahaha! "shit my pants tour"


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## Venatus (Apr 8, 2016)

my woman and i used to always pee together, i know it sounds weird but when your with someone like that for long periods of time you end up having a syncd biological clock. ah all those cute morning pisses by our camp::smug::


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## Desperado Deluxe (Apr 8, 2016)

Venatus said:


> my woman and i used to always pee together, i know it sounds weird but when your with someone like that for long periods of time you end up having a syncd biological clock. ah all those cute morning pisses by our camp::smug::


i usually just pee on my girlfriend in the shower.


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