# Why I dont complain



## codycodnyk (Apr 19, 2016)

Im sleep deprived and rambling, but this has been on my mind for a while and I wanna share it. As a teen, I was in rtcs and psych wards for getting high, getting into fights, depression anxiety, and basically not knowing how good I had it. I met many other kids in my time in different institutions, and it showed me how some kids just get fucked over at birth. Kids would grow up with drug addict parents, get abused, neglected and put into group homes or foster care by the state. These were kids with rough pasts from the ghetto, mostly black kids, so guess how many got adopted? So after growing up with shitty parents, they get put into some new, shitty place and they are rightfully angry. A lot of them were raised by animals, so they start acting out. Most kids would throw an occasional chair or get in a fight if that was their predicament. That makes them liability issues and behavioral problems, so they get put into places like rtcs and rtfs, a higher level of care. I met kids who had been im the system for over 10 years and werent getting out until they were 18. Even at that age, many kids end up in adult group homes because the schools in those places are a joke. In these places, kids encounter abusive residents and staff. Some get molested. A lot of it is covered up. And all thats because they were born to shitty parents. Their parents are out doing drugs while their kid is becoming used to institution life. 

I always remind myself of that when I feel myself wanting to bitch. Cuz me going there was all my fault and I got to go home to my family at 18, while other kids got bad hands dealt to them and were there for over 5 years. Something to think about when life doesnt follow your instructions


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## Vulture (Apr 19, 2016)

I wonder which RTC you went to. I went to Aspen Institute For Behavioral Assessment for a month. After that was 6 months at Discovery Ranch, a TBS. Both were in Utah. 

I remember the kids there: anorexic girls, suicidal kids, depressed ones, balls of anxiety spoiled kids and those who's reason for being there no one ever knew. I spoke 
to a lot of them. There were many who had it way worse than I. And those who had a long road ahead. I even recall those who were at the minimum age, unknowingly paving their path into a childhood within institutions. There was nothing good to be had of it, exempt a break from the outside world. I learned nothing.

Kids don't know what the roots of their issues are. The doctors and shrinks tend to put medical labels on natural responses to fucked up circumstances. Load the kid up with kolonipin! That should do the trick. No.

It is a dump for parents to discard their children and claim it is the child's fault. It made me sick when I cam to the realization that I couldn't help them, the docs couldn't help, their folks had chosen to put money into it, as opposed to kinship. Still I don't be
In lost causes, except for the scitzos. 

Docs are so eager to call a disorder when the poor kids are not even fully developed.


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## bystander (Apr 19, 2016)

ohhhh you like to be outside & play 'n the mudd......??

well lad, you won't can't stay focused, so you gotsta have ADHD- takes 3 a day & good luck sleepin'!! 

People and their goddamn quick fixes.


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## Wawa (Apr 19, 2016)

Then 20 years laters the parents are all "ooh don't blame me everyone was doing it and the school pressured me and the doctors said it was okay, and you turned out okay, right?"

YOU GAVE ME DRUGS TO CHANGE THE WAY MY BRAIN WORKS, did you ever really think for yourself about it and what the FUCK is "okay"?

Or they still don't care.


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## spectacular (Apr 20, 2016)

i saw the title and had to chime in... i don't complain anymore because it is such an exhausting waste of time and energy that i really honestly can't without feeling like i'm going to keel over. i used to be able to, guess my energy stores have dwindled after years of street life.


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## Adnil (Apr 20, 2016)

I was put in because my parents got fed up with me stabbing my sisters. After waking up from the ass shot the staff and my peers adored me so much that they released me within a week off good behavior.
But let me ask those of you who commented on the pills- how many of you are parents yourselves? Most parents (not going to speak for all), do care for the health and happiness of their children. They take on the actions of putting their kids in shrinks, wards, pills, etc because if it's a chance to help their kid- they're taking it. It's expensive getting a psychologists time for a session, medications add up, and those ward visits don't come cheap, so I repeat, sometimes parents just don't know what else to do so jump on a financial, emotional, and mental rollercoaster for the sake of- your sake.

Lol, is that a gun in your mouth?


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## Wawa (Apr 20, 2016)

"They did what they had too", acceptence, compassion, so on.... It's easy to rationalize getting over it.

Little voice inside of me continues to demand personal accountability.


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## bystander (Apr 20, 2016)

Adnil said:


> But let me ask those of you who commented on the pills- how many of you are parents yourselves? Most parents (not going to speak for all), do care for the health and happiness of their children. They take on the actions of putting their kids in shrinks, wards, pills, etc because if it's a chance to help their kid-



ah yes, I agree. I'm not saying every parent put their kid on speed as a quick fix; I'm saying society standards have.

Well, johnny acts this way & Donny acts that way. 

Why can't johnny act like donny? 

"well because family, johnny has... etc"

kid & adults are quick to have a label thrown at them by medical science; theres gotta be a reason... and not people will be people..

we all act differently then the next, we are not a bunch of dark grey meatbags, with a one fix only.

image the side a effects of poor kids thats been taken shit like adderall for 20+ yrs. 

I already feel like I'ma have a heart attack its only been 12yrs i've been on the shit.


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## codycodnyk (Apr 20, 2016)

Ive been diagnosed with a lot of stuff, the stuff I was doing at the time and puberty probably had a lot of influence on it. Bipolar, odd, ocd, mood disorder, bpd. Im pretty sure I dont have those and its a little disheartening that you can be diagnosed after 45 minutes with a doctor and prescribed two new medications, taken off one, etc. Right now, id say im happy, generally pretty anxiety free and off meds for over 5 years. 
Ive seen people with serious mental issues that really did need the help of a psychiatrist, like a kid who banged his head against the wall because I asked him if he touched my stuff, or people with schizophrenia. But I think love and compassion should be the first try, since a lot of kids never got that and werent getting it from the people who worked there. But meds keep people tired and calm, and less likely to explode, meaning less damage, paperwork and liability. 

Oh and it was a gunshaped pipe I used to have


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