# Shit in Woods Goes Gross to Nightmare



## Vanholio

Link to a blog post I did last spring about, well, just what the title says. True story. Revealing photo.

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What’s the dark side of living in a van down by the river? Assault by druggies? Cops? Bears? No, it’s shitting in a hole. Today, it went from gross to nightmare ... It starts by raining ... http://www.vanholio.com/2016/05/shit-in-woods-goes-gross-to-nightmare.html


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## Deleted member 125

i do love me a good shit story!


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## ped

lmao


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## WanderLost Radical

So all that to say you got caught shitting in the woods? 

Idk, I'd hardly call that a nightmare...


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## Mankini

LOL Anticlimactic. If you were shitting in the Coliseum, and I were Caesar, I would def give you a thumbs down and let tigers spring out and get you.


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## Vanholio

Mankini said:


> LOL Anticlimactic. If you were shitting in the Coliseum, and I were Caesar, I would def give you a thumbs down and let tigers spring out and get you.



Next time, I'll slip in it and land face down just for a good story.


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## iamwhatiam

You take your shorts and panties off to take a shit?!? I will have to teach you how to take a shit while squatting and leaning back with one hand, so you can keep your knickers around your ankles. I also like to wipe first with moss/leaves and then finish clean with tp


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## Mankini

iamwhatiam said:


> You take your shorts and panties off to take a shit?!? I will have to teach you how to take a shit while squatting and leaning back with one hand, so you can keep your knickers around your ankles. I also like to wipe first with moss/leaves and then finish clean with tp



I prefer to just relax and let it all just plop squishy. then, remove shorts/panties, flick em into the bushes, movin on down the road! This is good for when youre on the city bus or subway, or just in a hurry and dont have the desire to stop walkin and look for a place to squat. Learnt this technique from a guy named Chuckie, in the Bowery, in 1995.


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## iamwhatiam

Mankini said:


> I prefer to just relax and let it all just plop squishy. then, remove shorts/panties, flick em into the bushes, movin on down the road! This is good for when youre on the city bus or subway, or just in a hurry and dont have the desire to stop walkin and look for a place to squat. Learnt this technique from a guy named Chuckie, in the Bowery, in 1995.


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## Vanholio

Mankini said:


> I prefer to just relax and let it all just plop squishy. then, remove shorts/panties, flick em into the bushes, movin on down the road! This is good for when youre on the city bus or subway, or just in a hurry and dont have the desire to stop walkin and look for a place to squat. Learnt this technique from a guy named Chuckie, in the Bowery, in 1995.



Fat Bastard!


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## Brother X

cough linkbait cough


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## Kim Chee

I think this thread will die within a week, unlike the licking bloody vagina thread and the masturbating teen girl who was struck by lightning.

Feces, while funny just doesn't have the same appeal.

So if you are looking to improve the hits/revenue on your website I'd recommend one of those other subjects and then you can sell pocket pussies on the side to fund your adventures


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## autumn

Man, I had something similar happen to me, except I was in such a hurry (walking off the interstate) that I didn't realize I was basically in someones backyard and taking a giant dump in front of kids. I stepped in my own shit. I've given up on TP exclusivity in favor of a cleaner and quicker option... a sports bottle followed by tp. Like a shitty bidet.


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## iamwhatiam

zim said:


> Man, I had something similar happen to me, except I was in such a hurry (walking off the interstate) that I didn't realize I was basically in someones backyard and taking a giant dump in front of kids. I stepped in my own shit. I've given up on TP exclusivity in favor of a cleaner and quicker option... a sports bottle followed by tp. Like a shitty bidet.


wait...you use the sports bottle as a douche? like gatorade? or do you mean you just flick a little on yer crack and call it good?what's your preferred flavor?


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## autumn

iamwhatiam said:


> wait...you use the sports bottle as a douche? like gatorade? or do you mean you just flick a little on yer crack and call it good?what's your preferred flavor?



Hahaha no man, a nozzled waterbottle, I just squeeze it and spray water against my asshole, then wipe dry with toilet paper. Which would you rather have to clean peanut butter off your skin, a napkin, or a hose?


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## Mankini

zim said:


> Man, I had something similar happen to me, except I was in such a hurry (walking off the interstate) that I didn't realize I was basically in someones backyard and taking a giant dump in front of kids. I stepped in my own shit. I've given up on TP exclusivity in favor of a cleaner and quicker option... a sports bottle followed by tp. Like a shitty bidet.



GG Allin would approve, heartily.


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## todd

your shitting peanut butter.... you need more fiber


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## Vanholio

Kim Chee said:


> So if you are looking to improve the hits/revenue on your website I'd recommend one of those other subjects and then you can sell pocket pussies on the side to fund your adventures



Hmm. Why stop at pocket pussies? I'm going to affiliate market sex robot dolls. One sale a month will pay all my bills. Much better than the 40 cents I pulled down last week.


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## Mankini

Vanholio said:


> Hmm. Why stop at pocket pussies? I'm going to affiliate market sex robot dolls. One sale a month will pay all my bills. Much better than the 40 cents I pulled down last week.



Mmmm, dolls


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## Mankini

Vanholio said:


> Next time, I'll slip in it and land face down just for a good story.


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