# Who else does winter do this to?



## astreet09

"Itâ€™s hard to really look at someone and go, â€˜Hey, maybe something nice will happen.â€ I know too much about life to have any optimism. Because I know even if itâ€™s nice, itâ€™s going to lead to shit. I know if you smile at someone, and they smile back, youâ€™ve just decided that something shitty is going to happen. You might have a nice couple of dates, but then sheâ€™ll stop calling you back, and that will feel shitty. Or you will date for a long time, and then she will have sex with one of your friends, or you will with one of hers, and that will be shitty. Or you will get married and it wonâ€™t work out, and you will get divorced and split your friends and money and that is horrible. OR you will meet the perfect person, who you love infinitely, and you even argue well, and you grow together and you have children and then you get old together, AND then sheâ€™s gonna DIE. Thatâ€™s the best case scenario; that youâ€™re gonna lose your best friend and then just walk home from dâ€™agostinoâ€™s with heavy bags every day and wait for your turn to be nothing, also."

I was watching a Louis CK stand up thing, and I couldn't figure out whether I should laugh or cry.


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## pip

Drugs help.


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## streetlight

I choose laughter, or i probably would have killed myself along time ago.


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## Deleted member 2626

Avoid dating. I don't go lookin for chicks anymore I dont date either I only hookup with girls. Dating and shut almost sickens me a


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## LeeevinKansas

avoid dating is good. the only reason i am with who i am now is cuz i stumbled into their house a few months back lookin to get high. shit happened and shit happened. now im faced with the decision of leaving her behind (which i will if she dont wanna come with) when spring comes cuz shes a citygirl, im a travelin fool. what can you do?

Learn to be happy as a single person, I did that in the past. taught myself that relationships are just balls n chains. your better off without them, cuz when its all said and done, usually all that awaits ya is heartache. 

ive always said, as a travelin hitchhiker/hobo/tramp/vagabond/homeless etc , your gonna have the odds against you in finding a girl/guy


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## BrittanyTheBananarchist

iavoid dating as well. not just cuz the travelin but ive kinda just realized its all pointless really. in the end youve got yourself. and personally id rather be on my own.


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## Deleted member 2626

Exactly bein a traveling person makes stuff like that even harder. Its best tone single for sure no ball and chain like said


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## crustythadd23

I avoid dating, specially when it comes to travelin just more bullshit you gotta deal with.


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## Diagaro

Not sure what OP was/is saying but reading replies I am moved to agreement and vice versa: No you don't have to settle for being alone, Just be patient, keep your eyes, ears, heart and mind open and never make moves unless your sure that your sure they are wanted. Though 90% of the time heartache is inevitable why give up and live in misery? better to have loved and lost than not at all right? though it feels horrible afterwards and most likely will never subside to a dull ache let alone entirely 

As for dating, I personally see this as the biggest lie ever - think about it! what does it mean when you say 'molly and I are dating now' well usually 'dating' is the prerequisite to marriage, also the designation of relationship 'going steady, goin out, courting - betrothed and engaged' they all mean the intention of a bond both legally recognized and permitted under GOD and the GOVERNMENT . . . 
Does any one else see whats wrong with this picture?

A bond in love, lust or emotional or other wise symbiosis between two people (no matter if hereto, homo or lezbo) is a bond you don't need the government to "license" your marrage to this person, diamonds are blood fueled, it carries no weight as it once did, and god dosent exist in a manner that really gives a fuck who your fucking nor your commitment to "honer them till death do you part"
I was in love once, it has turned sour, I am happy and enlightened, my life goes on though I still sometimes hurt but if you never hurt you never will have the perspective to identify true happiness or any slight variation there of.
The strength of a bond is shown by being the face that person sees every morning across from them, an equal plane of co-existence - "on tha level" 
I have no more to say . . .


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## Nelco

if you don't get hurt, than you didn't love..if you didn't love, than you missed out on what lifes about.
date.
get hurt.
do it again.
be alive.


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## Diagaro

Fuckin A Nelco, fuckin A man

EDIT: Also someone said something about "learn to be happy alone" This Is partially true for me at least. I am very happy alone, my cup is over full and I spill it preferably into others cups but usually people are too concerned with self pity to see the true nature of and beauty of life as simple as it is just existing and feeling - weather rage, love, anger, hate, fear, happiness, compassion, sadness, - etc,. they all let you know you are alive!
And when someone finds that your life elixir is good and is drawn to you its simply that you radiate inner light and people will be drawn to you, sometimes they are the type of person that leaches, that sap and sap alwase complaining and never aware how much they hurt you by taking your all and never returning anything and sometimes, SOMETIMES! you will make the right moves at the right time and catch a person who complements you and you both drink from each others joys and sorrow equally - this I believe is the basic building blocks which love is erected upon.


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## Nelco

diagaro said:


> fuckin a nelco, fuckin a man


 
nicely put!


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## Nelco

damn it...i read your signature diagaro and mistook it for a thread reply..and accidentally quoted the part i didn't read.


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## streetlight

Wise words nelco. Sometimes you just gotta jump right in and take 'er.


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## astreet09

I don't know. Dating is alright. And I didn't really agree with the cheating thing, since I'm trying to explore polyamoury. But I do still have weird jealousy issues, and even if I feel like I own those feelings or whatever, it still sucks. A few weeks ago I would've totally disagreed with all this, because I'm on good terms with pretty much all my ex's. But I do think like that a lot.

Like, even if I see someone that I think is real hot, and I could imagine us having a conversation, ultimately the horrible micro-managey part of my brain takes over, and I'm like, "Well. Where the fuck would it lead anyway?"


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## Nelco

astreet09 said:


> I don't know. Dating is alright. And I didn't really agree with the cheating thing, since I'm trying to explore polyamoury. But I do still have weird jealousy issues, and even if I feel like I own those feelings or whatever, it still sucks. A few weeks ago I would've totally disagreed with all this, because I'm on good terms with pretty much all my ex's. But I do think like that a lot.
> 
> Like, even if I see someone that I think is real hot, and I could imagine us having a conversation, ultimately the horrible micro-managey part of my brain takes over, and I'm like, "Well. Where the fuck would it lead anyway?"


 
sounds like there's a hunger in you that hasn't been satisfied yet..feed your needs


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## Diagaro

astreet09 I think this is good thinking ahead - I do it too, I could be a go getter, I could be sleepin with a diffrent woman every night and then some If I chose but I don't for reasons of moralaty and lazieness, I don't think its BAD to be fucking more than one person its just more trouble than its worth - one woman is WAY MORE than enough for me, but kudos for being aware of eventuality - shit gets fucked up, sooner or later shit gets fucked up


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## astreet09

Nelco said:


> sounds like there's a hunger in you that hasn't been satisfied yet..feed your needs



However terrifying that sounds, and kind of creepy and hilarious at the same time, I think I know what you're trying to say.

Where I'M at, is freshly out of the only ltr that meant anything to me. And really bitter and annoyed with the whole dating scene. So I'm not sure it has anything to do with having 'not been satisfied yet,' as opposed to being fed up.


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## coolguyeagle76'

c'est la vie man.


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## Medusa

I can get pretty skeptical at times, but I still have hope. It seems we all have problems with dating, but that's how it goes. It's not easy because of a number of factors. I think many of us just have issues we haven't resolved yet, like figuring ourselves out. Whatever the reason may be, there are a lot of shitty/confused people out there that you will have to get past in order to find the right person. Out of all the people in the world, I'm sure there's someone for everyone. Just because your prior relationships ended in heartache, doesn't mean you should give up. Getting hurt is a part of life. Pain and pleasure go hand in hand, always.
The key is to be your best on your own, then you will attract the right people (even if it's hard to see through all the shitty people). Don't let the world confuse you. As corny as it may sound, follow your heart. I know all too well, it's easy to confuse what your heart is saying (especially when the voices of other people cloud your mind and hide your inner voice).
Anyway, life should be enjoyed to its fullest. So, why not allow yourself the possibility of love? The relationship (or whatever you want to call it) might not last, but it sure as hell is better to feel it for a moment than to spend your whole life stuck inside yourself. Just fucking people your whole life seems so empty and pointless to me. Pain is a good thing to experience. I'd much rather feel pain than be numb. People are pretty fucking frustrating, but good things don't come easily. If they did, we wouldn't appreciate them very much. You gotta go through hell to get to heaven, I say. And like Streetlight said, you should just jump right in when it feels right. Carpe diem.

"You can destroy your now by worrying about tomorrow."--Janis Joplin

"if you got a cat for one day, man - I mean, if you, say, say, maybe you want a cat for 365 days, right - You ain't got him for 365 days, you got him for one day, man. Well I tell you that one day, man, better be your life. Because, you know, you can say, oh man, you can cry about the other 364, man, but you're gonna lose that one day, man, and that's all you've got. You gotta call that love, man. That's what it is, man. If you got it today you don't want it tomorrow, man, 'cause you don't need it, 'cause as a matter of fact, as we discovered on the train, tomorrow never happens, man. It's all the same fucking day, man."--Janis Joplin

She said "man" a bit too much, but she definitely has the right idea.


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## Mouse

I've heard that L. CK rant in his stand up and i loved it because it's very true... but I think it's all in how you look at it. Yeah, you could probably die alone.. but maybe you'll get lucky and be the one that dies first? lol

it's all about chances.


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## caspertheghost

astreet09 said:


> I don't know. Dating is alright. And I didn't really agree with the cheating thing, since I'm trying to explore polyamoury. But I do still have weird jealousy issues, and even if I feel like I own those feelings or whatever, it still sucks. A few weeks ago I would've totally disagreed with all this, because I'm on good terms with pretty much all my ex's. But I do think like that a lot.
> 
> Like, even if I see someone that I think is real hot, and I could imagine us having a conversation, ultimately the horrible micro-managey part of my brain takes over, and I'm like, "Well. Where the fuck would it lead anyway?"



Completelly agree and feel the same way.. Cant seem to get rid of my jealous tendencies but at the same time don't like the relationship boundaries whatsoever


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## CardBoardBox

Naturally we're driven to find companionship. We're born into this world in pairs and we desire to leave it as such. I think a big thing with dating is seeing things for how they are, and not how you want them to be. Dating is a weird thing to me. The labels "Boyfriend" and "Girlfriend" hold very heavy connotations. They carry expectancies as to how one is supposed to act, and I think that's why a lot of people get scared when they get into a serious relationship. The way I go about things is finding someone I'm comfortable with. Someone I can communicate freely with and be brutally honest with without them getting offended. I've had too many experiences go rotten on me because of the boyfriend/girlfriend label and the expectancies they carry. Just be. There doesn't have to be that solidity if both parties know exactly what their relationship is and what they want from one another. If you're not communicating and being honest with another, then it just ain't gonna work. As for dating... I think going on dates is an odd thing, heavy with those expectancies again. Romance is an ideal created in the 40's and 50's that men and woman play a role to one another. Its fucked up and unrealistic in the real scheme of things. Sure it's nice to be all lovely and affectionate, but that kind of thing should come naturally between two people that care about one another. Never expected.
I dunno. its my view on things. I hate when people expect me to act a certain way because of a label or the way I look. if you find someone you're happy with, be with them. See if for how it is, not how you want it to be, and things will be fine. Never expect, it'll only lead to dissapointment.


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## Matt aka Sparks

Meh, I don't belive that humans are supposed to find a life mate. We are genetecly wired to procreate with many diffrent partners over the course of a life time.


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## Onemanbandit

Polyamoury is perfect in concept but only if you can control your emotions, I've had several would-be polyamourous relationships end really fucked up, jealousy and blame and feelings of insignificance pretty much lame. I believe absolute honesty is the only way to have a relationship, fuck mixed messages and fuck letting things be just becasue you don't want a conflict when you KNOW it's not working. Being able to be comfortable and happy alone is much more important than force fitting yourself into anything you can find just to satisfy feelings of loneliness or a need for sex.


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## wartomods

fuck polyamory. If you want to fuck with several people do it. But i think polyamory is emotionally unstable, and even if you manage it, it is not as rewarding has having a soulmate.


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## Onemanbandit

Emotionally stable "soulmate" relationships are pretty rare, naturally there isn't really any other animal anywhere close to what we are that practices monogamy. I guess it's all a question of happiness and comfort zones


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## Ouija

Up until about a year ago i was in a one woman relationship for about 9 yrs, various women at diff times but a one on one intimacy nonetheless. I can honestly look back on these times and say they were better than they were not, and when they got bad i turned to drugs... fxck, lots of drugs... eh they were so good that i find myself thinking about drugs and women at this very moment. Point is life isn't fair, but its good. I believe this goes the same for anything you do, so do it well.


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## LeeevinKansas

honestly, go single. all the trouble ive been putting up with now for 4 months bc of this city girl, i wouldnt have had to deal with if i never had initiated the relationship. 

to any1 that wants someone in their life, trust the ones that have already been there, 90% of the time all that awaits ya is heartache like some one else said. wether you stay together for 1 day or 2 years, it dont matter. You will more than likely break up. I cant tell you how many times ive watched relationships that people swore up and down theyd stay in, just to watch them fall apart down the road, even if it took them years to do it, or only weeks. 

Id rather have the complete freedom I get when Im by myself, then have someone attempt to force me to give up who I am, and change who I am, for them. Because cityfolk will NEVER UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE LIKE US (STP, hobos, hitchers, etc) DO WHAT WE DO. It doesnt matter how you try to tell them, what viewpoint you tell them it, or how many times you try, or who tells them, they WILL NOT UNDERSTAND. 

the last time my girl said she understood, and started to come around to my side of view about the modern world, the next day when I attempted to bring the subject up again, she opted out to scream at me about how Im running from responsibilities. 

so to the op and any other ppl in the same boat lookin for a partner, im telling you, STAY AWAY. GO BACK. BEWARE. it aint worth it.

if you were all n"normal ppl" who didnt believe in doing what you do, trains, hitchin, etc, then itd be a diff story, look all you want. but for the majority of us, we have this shit called WANDERLUST. AND IT DONT GO AWAY. EVAR. comes up and haunts you all the time. I cant even go outside without hearing the sounds of a semi slowing down in the distance, or the trains just down the street by my house, and wanting to hit the road already. 

Id rather be able to leave wenever I want to, and go do whatever I want to, peacefully, vs then having to pick and choose between THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE and YOUR GOD DAMN LIFE/LIFESTYLE.


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## Onemanbandit

"if you were all n"normal ppl" who didnt believe in doing what you do, trains, hitchin, etc, then itd be a diff story, look all you want. but for the majority of us, we have this shit called WANDERLUST. AND IT DONT GO AWAY. EVAR. comes up and haunts you all the time. I cant even go outside without hearing the sounds of a semi slowing down in the distance, or the trains just down the street by my house, and wanting to hit the road already."

I know what you're saying, sometimes it feels like you have to be alone to be able to have your freedom, and it's true, most people aren't going to understand. If they don't, I'm not going ot try to make them and if someone is trying to change me to be in a relationship with me, what the fuck am I doing there anyways? I wouldn't have a relationship with someone unless I knew I could tell them honestly that sure I care about them but I have to hit the road again. Maybe they'd go with you, maybe you don't want them to, whatever the answer is if they don't understand then you probably shouldn't have been with them in the first place.


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## shwillyhaaa

in the end, your best friend will always be yourself. tho theres nothing wrong with hanging out with someone whos really cool for a bit.. marriage, bleh.


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## Wolf

You guys are way to afraid of heartache. Don't approach love in a business sense, even if in a relationship, just appreciate what it is, while it is. If you get hurt, you get hurt, but if your getting hurt more then your being loved, there was no love going on in the first place, and that was the mistake not the relationship itself. 

While I am not looking for, or even care about finding, a relationship, I am not going to shut myself off from it. How is that any less of a 'ball and chain' situation? You're still cutting yourself off from living life to it's fullest, the same way you would if you where in a relationship with someone who was holding you back. If you are with someone, in that way, and you don't feel free, then that person doesn't work for you.

Let me ask you a question, if you have had a friend die, do you regret ever being friends with them? 

And, nobody dies alone. There are too many people, and most of us are loved deeply by someone.


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## vagabond719r

I've never struck to much of attention with chicks. Plus, back when I traveled women on the road were more scarce than now, and if you ran into one they were already with someone. I've gone most of my life practically as a monk, but have had the occasional girlfriend. None of which worked out as I am nice and single now. I don't lose that romanticism or faith that one day fate will put me in the right place at the right time. If not, I'll just make sweet love to a bowl of Chronic which has never let me down and like chocolate makes me feel the same. Polyamoury seems to be big with this emo crowd. I know a few who are big into it, but every time one or the other have emotions which are all too human, not some gender bending shit. It just happens. Love is by far the strongest, least controllable emotion in us, and we think we can love solely, two or more people. In a porn prevailent culture, in the 21st century, polyamoury is a nice way of saying that someone wants to be gangbanged till they get AIDS and die.Pessimism at it's finest. This ain't the 60's anymore. Free love died in 1981. It's just not safe, or clean, anymore, especially among crusties. Come on, you know it's the truth. Someone might look clean, and say they're clean, but when those lesions on your chest and a persistent cough, you might find out otherwise. Sorry to go from love to AIDS, but.....


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## Deleted member 2626

Right on brother. If it happens to find me fine but if not I'm a keep on rambling. . Easy To catch shit from ransoms


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