# Wife and gf



## Ozzi (Jul 18, 2020)

Im ready to go and my wife wont camp outside she been staying with her mom and ive been camping out and recently in hospital. Im ready to hit the road and she dont want to do it. She wants to have vehicle i wanna hitch and hop. So im leaving without her. What is uour guys opinions? I gotta get out there and i know how to survive with nothing but the stuff on my back.


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## Eng JR Lupo RV323 (Jul 18, 2020)

You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free
50 ways to leave your lover

Can't really advise on your situation without knowing all the details(not necessarily wanting to know all the details, just saying it's hard to give advice absent of details). Idk if you're leaving her completely destitute, or if she made some major sacrifices to be with you this entire time and you're kinda putting her out in a sense. There could be a number of factors that would make dipping out on her kinda douchee at this moment. Wouldn't wanna say yeah you should dip, given so many unknown variables right.

But generally speaking.. I really feel like monogamy is rather unnatural for our species to navigate. It's so fucking complicated, you have to make all these trade-offs and compromise dreams, plans, etc. It works for some people but it isn't for everyone. I was married 14 years and I don't regret leaving. I feel like I did her a favor, truth be told. I observed during each of our breakups she'd always make some really good moves in career advancement and education. We'd get back together and I just felt like an anchor holding her back from her potential.

You can be sexually compatible, completely enamored with someone, the passion is there..all your love and guts you really care about this person greatly but you're just on two separate paths in life and no matter how much you love them or they love you.. resentment/regret can still absolutely enter the picture if you're both seeing your futures differently. That's some challenging shit to work with. I don't think many marriages are short of one person or the other making sacrifices.

To touch on some of the things you've said more directly- I have felt the same way as you've described more or less, wanting to shed all possessions and just hit the fucking road with nothing but what's in my pack, recharge the batteries of my soul with each state line I cross and every new friendship formed. Some of those experiences were 100% worth leaving it all behind and some of them were for sure huge mistakes.

Not many things feel worse on the road than reaching some point in your journey where you lose all those positive good feelings and hopes that tonight's events or tomorrow will bring joy, that the next city will be amazing.. you just don't even want to go on any further and wish you'd never left. Completely defeated by the road. It's pretty fucking awful, I've experienced it a couple times. I've also had trips that were straight up life changing in every which way imaginable for the better.

Idk man, you got some decisions to make for sure. I will say this; You're choosing to hitchhike at probably the worst time ever in the history of automobiles to stick a thumb out on the road. Covid has changed every city you intend to visit. I left in early March before it all shut down. I had these awesome expectations of New Orleans, as the last time I was there it was the best of times. I had high hopes for Austin. I planned on raging so hard with @Matt Derrick. I had some great plans to camp for a week with @SlankyLanky near Richmond.

I had it all visualized, it was going to be an absolutely stellar road trip. From central California I made it to Slab City for the first time. @Jerrell was the best of field guides and we had fun but what I had expected to experience at Slabs just absolutely didn't come to fruition at all. Many camps were quarantined down, met with folded arms rather than warm hugs. No fault of theirs, that's just covid things right. They were reacting to it and as a result my Slab City visit wasn't what I'd looked forward to it being like. 

I pushed on and reached Flagstaff and learned of the shutdowns while at a bar with @Coywolf and from that moment on the entire trip was 180 degrees off from what I had in my head before having left California. That's not to say we didn't make the best of it and still have good times, we definitely did but.. it was still incredibly hindered by Covid19 changes.

So before you leave, try to erase any preconceived notions or memories you have of the places you plan on going. I'll put it like this; I was in New Orleans on Halloween, 2007. That was my last memory of the place, it was a blast. I didn't necessarily expect Halloween level New Orleans in March, but I for damn sure never expected to be standing on St. Ann & Bourbon at 9pm literally not one single soul in sight aside from @EphemeralStick as far as we could see in both directions down both streets.

Everything has changed. I'm not trying to talk you out of going, but you should at very least consider the times we're in and all that comes with Covid.


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## Matt Derrick (Jul 18, 2020)

I mean, I'm assuming you don't have kids or anything, correct me if i'm wrong. 

otherwise, any chance you can just treat this as a 'break'? maybe explain to your SO how you feel, and see if they're cool with you going for a few months and coming back (as long as YOU are okay with doing that). You might find out you've had your fill after just a few months.


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## Deleted member 125 (Jul 18, 2020)

Ozzi said:


> So im leaving without her. What is uour guys opinions?



Besides you apparently being a crummy husband by being ok with basically ditching yer wife?

Does yer wife know yer planning to leave her? Is this a discussion yall have had already? I dont know you or yer wife at all and without more info on yalls situation there really isnt a whole lot else to say.

Good luck leaving yer wife I guess?


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## Eng JR Lupo RV323 (Jul 18, 2020)

SlankyLanky said:


> Besides you apparently being a crummy husband by being ok with basically ditching yer wife?



Doesn't count against him because we're the ones assigned to the task of making that decision for him. _We're_ the crummy husbands!

Yeah idk, I realize this is Sex & Relationships but it still feels like a weird place to extract advice on your marital decisions.

Ozzi- Sorry babe, it's time for me to fly!

Wifey -Ozzi NO! Why! What's gotten into you? OMG I can't believe you're just gonna leave like this!

Ozzi- Hey look babe it ain't on me alright. I asked a bunch of bums on a squatter site what they thought I should do and they said I should leave yo ass so take it up with them idk what else you want from me it's already basically been decided for us ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


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## Ozzi (Jul 18, 2020)

Man we made this plan leave florida go to Flagstaff and we got to mississippi and she wanted to bail so we went back to florida cause of covid. Ive been in a tent for months she chilling at her moms making money and doing tons of drugs and im panhandling to get a couple bags a day. Im clean now and she aint. Like matt said im treatinf it like a break im sure she gonna be waiting for me when i decide to come back. 

Im prepared for the way covid has affected but i just gotta go.


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## Ozzi (Jul 18, 2020)

Aalso ive talked to her im like u wanna go and she says no she knows who she is and im like lets go and find ouraelves again. And she says no and im like alright well im gonna go and we keeo fighting. But like im fighting her from hospital bed! Which she never even visited me!


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## Eng JR Lupo RV323 (Jul 18, 2020)

Ozzi said:


> we got to mississippi and she wanted to bail so we went back to florida





Ozzi said:


> she chilling at her moms making money and doing tons of drugs





Ozzi said:


> Im clean now and she aint





Ozzi said:


> ive talked to her im like u wanna go and she says no



Not trying to act like I know anything for sure but this routine does sound familiar. If I'm speculating, I'd say she isn't ready to give up drugs and you might be. What does a drug addict leave when they hit the road? The ease of access to the drugs they're used to having access to. Sure you can still find shit but not as easy and not as consistently. Also any little money hustles you got locally(middle-man sales etc) all goes out the window. 

Yeah, I'd say if you're truly making an effort to stay clean you really can't do that with a partner who's continuing to use, that doesn't even make sense. But if you know deep inside you're just gonna go back to the drugs and you're just leaving because you've burned bridges/have people looking for you etc... idk man. You don't get to leave your problems behind, they come with you. Good luck with all that.


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## Matt Derrick (Jul 18, 2020)

yeah given that information sounds like you need a clean break, but traveling isn't going to solve your drug problems, just so you know. i've seen more people get dragged down in that shit traveling than i have those that aren't traveling...


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## Gulysses3 (Jul 26, 2020)

you have to do what you do. I’d work with her to officially divorce if you’re that far apart on life. You don’t want to be married and have legal entanglements coming back to haunt you later in life. Remember, she is entitled to half of everything you own and if she got clean and ended up pregnant, you’re on the hook for child support, regardless of paternity. So, if you aren’t truly committed to one another, then make sure you aren’t legally committed either.


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