# Its been a while!



## Meg (Apr 10, 2014)

*(This is an update on what I've been up to since the last time I've been online) *

So, I've been in 3 relationships since the last time I logged in, which has been about 6 months. The first one was with a guy I actually met on this site. It was weird because I've been in a long distant relationship before once when I was 12-13, and the guy was just as much as a jack ass as Rob. Over the computer he seemed very sweet, but also very desperate. He talked a lot about how he's getting to "that age" (23) where he needs to settle down with someone and start a family. I wasn't really down with it due to the fact that i barely knew him. One day we're in one of those lovey conversations over text and at one point I jokingly say "why dont you just marry me already?" He took me seriously because he calls me up and starts talking about how he wants to get married in Vegas with me and he's going to drive up with all the money he has to take me away and start a new life. I was whatever about it. I'm more of a go with the flow person, and I knew he wasn't gonna be "the one" or the father of my children, I just didn't want him upset. So, he drives up to California from Texas. When he gets up here I let him know that before he takes me away on our big adventure I want to introduce him to my family and friends so he can get to know me better. So every day I introduce him to someone new. After a while he gets pissed at the town I live in and its meth heads and says he's tired of just sitting here, and one night he says that I either leave with him now or I have to play ketch up cause he's leaving tonight weather I'm coming or not. So I sneak out of my house and bring all the stuff I can bring in this big bag so he can take me to the hotel he was staying in. The next morning I get a call from my parents and he tells me to listen to it. The voice mail says that they want to meet and talk about this, so I call them and we agree to meet up to talk in 3 days. Rob encourages me to meet with them but as we wait for the time he get more and more frustrated. When we meet with my parents they tell me that it would be a good idea to wait a little longer since I promised my friend that I'd go on a double date with her to six flags which was about a week from then. My parents give us a place to stay so that way we're not sleeping in parks and shit. Rob doesn't like that idea very much so he comes up with this idea to camp in my back yard like fucking 12 year olds trying to experience nature. Every day he gets more and more pissed off and tries to convince me to leave at that moment even though my mom already bought both of us our tickets to six flags. The night we come back from six flags its around 11:00pm and he wants to leave for Oregon that very moment. So I tell my parents I'm leaving. My mom gives me the backpack she used to hitchhike in Europe and Africa, and all these extra things that would be of great use on our trip. We leave right after and drive as far as we can till we can't stay awake anymore. We stop at a hotel where we have sex. (NOTE: having sex with him was nowhere near enjoyable. it was like having sex with a fat ass sweaty pig with a small as dick.) After we have sex he takes a shower, and when he comes out he lays in bed with me and says, "Please don't get mad at what I'm about to tell you." What he said to me is what no woman could ever NOT be mad at. He told me that the reason he wouldn't eat me out is because my vagina smells bad. So bad to the point that I need to get it checked up on. Of course I start crying and he acts like I have no reason to cry because what he said was out of his so called fucking concern for me. The next day we start heading up to Garberville. When we get there, there's a bunch of people sitting, passing around like 5 jays and a pipe. So I get super high and I'm in a really good place. Rob decides to walk me around town and show me what this towns all about. (Really cool place by the way.) At one point he takes me to the grave yard in the town and decides to break up with me. He takes me to the only motel in the town where I can break down and just cry which I do for the rest of the day till I fall asleep. The next day he gave me a choice to either stay here like a dumb ass, go home and have everyone say "I told you so," or continue following him around and complete the trip to Oregon. So, I continue on the road with this jackass. Two days go by and we make it to Portland. We spend 2 hours there and he decides that its too cold to camp and we have no more money for hotels. I never got out of the car. So he calls up his friend in Texas and asks if we can kick it as his place for a while until we kick the squatters out of this house Rob owned. His friend says he has a room available. So we drive from Oregon to Texas, and when we get to his friends house Rob instantly makes himself at home and smokes some of the weed without his permission. When Nelson, Rob's friend, wakes up he seems really cool and and starts telling me stories about how he built his own house. I could also tell that Rob and Nelson didn't get along much because they yelled a lot, but not as much when I was in the room. About a week went by and I haven't seen any part of the town other then the house we were in and the gas station where we bought cigarettes. One day Rob ran out of money and Nelson was tired of Rob smoking all of his weed with out paying for anything, so Rob asked me to by $20 worth, but when I by weed I like to smoke a majority of it and not give most of my weed away. So I smoke a whole bowl to myself. Right after, Rob told me to cook dinner. (FYI: I'm not the best cook.) I walk downstairs, start cooking and talk to them about how I want to see more of the town. Next thing I know I'm laying on the floor, looking up at Rob while he's trying to keep me awake. The ambulance picked me up and took me to the hospital. Rob told them I had a concussion. Now, because I was in Texas, they didn't have any of my medical records. If they did they'd see I have a lot of thing wrong with my body. I have low blood pressure, I'm anemic, I have asthma, and I get dizzy spells when I don't get enough food. When I was in there I was still high so I didn't remember any of this, and I didn't remember that I barely ate anything that day. They sent me home and said I just had a bad trip from smoking too much marijuana. Now I have a scar on my eyebrow and a chipped tooth. Rob took away the weed I bought and said I need to stay away from it. The next day Rob took me to this lake near the house out of pity. Once we got there, he sat there, staring at nothing, having this look like I ruined his life. I was having fun looking at the view the lake had. That lasted about 15 minuets till Rob decided that we're leaving. A few days later we finally kick the squatters out of his house. The squatters left a huge mess. Apparently they were breeding puppies so there was shit and piss all over the house. They also left rotten food and shit. I helped clean the bathroom and kitchen, change the locks, and spray air freshener everywhere. The next day I woke and the first thing Rob tells me is, "I think its time for you to leave." He has this huge excuse that I didn't do shit around the house and I didn't know how to take care of myself and I need to be more mature for him, but even though he wanted me gone he didn't have enough money for a plain ticket or even gas to get to the plain station. I called up my parents and told them what happened. They bought me a ticket for the next day and put more money on my card for the gas. The rest of the day Rob made me go to his house to clean it up more even though I was in no mood to help him, I just wanted to site in that room and cry, but he told me it would be good to get out of the house and take my mind off of it and he basically dragged me to the car. Of course I do nothing. I just sit there on his porch, staring at this rock, thinking that my life is shit and if I bang my head hard enough on that rock I could end it all. The next day he helped me pack, but some of the stuff I brought was stuff they wouldn't let me carry through the air port like lotions, soap, weapons, and that pipe he bought for me. He took that stuff saying he would mail it to me once I get home. I still don't have any of that stuff. He dropped me off at the air port and before I left he gave me a kiss, and said something insulting like "call me when you're mature enough for me." Said he was gonna keep in contact, but instead he blocked me on facebook and I haven't heard from him since. Good thing too.

After that I got a tattoo of a heart on my chest that says "loveless" in promise to myself to pick the right person to say "I love you" to.






A few months go by and I get a call from an old friend named Cody. He tells me he just moved up to Grass Valley, which is about a 2 hour drive from my house, and tells me he wants me to visit him and his new friends. I spend hours on the phone with him talking about what has happened since the last time we talked. He told me he got into a huge meth problem because of my ex boyfriend, Jarette, but he's gone to rehab and is now recovered. After he tells me everything, he passes me to his friend Daniel who instantly starts hitting on me without even knowing what I look like at that point. Then Cody gets annoyed and takes back the phone and hands me to Izzy who is this really cool artist. He tells me to look up his music on youtube. A couple of days go by and I've spent a lot of time on the phone with them. One day Cody gets really serious about me finding a ride to see him. I ask my friends boyfriend, Tony to give me a ride for some money. He said yes and we planned it all out. I ask my parents letting them know that I'm 18, I don't have a job yet, I'm no longer in college and it's only gonna be for a few days so there's no reason to say no. But they say no anyways. So, me being the impulsive person I am, decide to say "fuck parents" and sneak out, continuing with the original plan, but Cody left before I could tell him that I was coming up there that night. (Cody doesn't have a phone.) So when I get up there, he's not there, but Izzy and Daniel are. Tony and Lynn stay a while to see if Cody shows up, but he didn't so they left. The moment they leave Daniel offers his bed for me to lay in and watch TV cause I've been in that car for a while. When I lay in it he instantly puts his hands on me. I push him off of me, but the more I push him away the harder he tries. After a while I get super uncomfortable and ask him to get me food. Luckly they didn't have much so he had to go on a walk to Safe Way and get me something. The moment he leaves I start talking to Izzy about how awkward and weird that was. He told me he could tell how Daniel wasn't my type. I felt bad that Izzy was laying on the floor so I asked him if he wanted to get in bed with me. I don't know how it happened so fast, but I know that I was the one to make the first move so it didn't make me feel uncomfortable at all. Funny thing is, Daniel walked in on us. He was cool about it, let us finish, then let us sleep in his bed that night. (The only cool thing he ever did.) The next day we walk to the park where Cody said he'd be. Apparently he camped there and stayed for there breakfast food. The moment Cody say me he was super excited that I came to visit him. The next few days after that consisted of smoking a lot of weed, watching rented VHS tapes on an old TV, and Daniel and Cody stealing from the local Safe Way for food and alchohol. One day Cody decides to tell me he didn't move to Grass Valley. He was sent to Juvey and when they let him out they saw on his record that he was a run away so they sent him to this group home in Grass Valley. He hated it so much he ran away from it, but for some fucking reason he stayed in the same town. Now not only is he listed as a run away but he's wanted by the police. That got me and Izzy super sketched out so we thought it would be a good idea to hitchhike to this town where there's a lot of growers and me and him could get a trimmers job. Cody smuggled his way into it and we had no choice but to bring him with us. We hitchhiked all the way to this camping area that Izzy knew about, but before you got to the actual camping spot, you have to walk down this long ass path. At one point there were these hot chicks in this van smoking a jay. Izzy cheered me on to talk to them and joked about how I'm gonna get the pussy. Right before I get to them, somehow Cody gets there before me. The first thing that comes out of his mouth, even before saying hi or anything he ask if they wanna trade a bottle of alchohol for some weed. They were in the middle of telling him that they haven't had work in a while so they don't have much, but then they see Izzy walk up and they know him so they give us 2 fat ass nuggs for nothing in return. They talk to Izzy for a while then I join in the conversation flirting my ass off with the blond. They wish us luck and we continue walking to the camp site. When we get there Cody starts saying shit like "good thing you have me cause I just got us some dank weed!" and starts saying how the blond was hella hot and how he's gonna try and fuck her. I get pissed off and tell him how me and her were hella flirting. He said he didn't see it and says "anyways I saw her first" when the only reason he saw them was because me and Izzy were talking about how I should get at them like a mile up. Then it starts getting dark so Izzy tries to make a fire, but Cody wants to help too. The only problem is Cody doesn't know how to make a fire. As Izzy grabs as much dry wood he can find Cody puts all this wet wood on top of it. After a while, Izzy notices, tells Cody to stop and that he'll do it himself. After that Izzy fixes it and tried to light it, but the fire doesn't get that big. I come up with the idea of putting A LITTLE BIT of alchohol on it to try and start it off. Since Cody stole it he think he should do it, and poors a little bit on. After that he uses the excuse of the bottle being open to drink it. After a few minuets the fire died down to the size it was before. So Cody, with out asking anyone, poor more of the alchohol on it, and of course it does the same thing as last time. He keeps doing it over and over while getting more and more drunk until Izzy notices this is going too far. So he takes away the bottle and says he'll try a different way. Of course, he gets it to work. Then Cody decides to go to bed but the tent that he has is Izzy's and says he doesn't know how to put it up, even though it was only a 1 man tent and super simple. Izzy puts up his tent then I help him put up our tent. The next day, we wake up to Cody starting his own fire even though Izzy told us on the walk down to NOT start fires during the day because, not only is this an illegal camping site, but the fire department will blame the man who owns the mountain and shut down the camp site. Izzy flips shit, puts out the fire, and yells at Cody. They get into this huge fight that I have to break up. I remember Izzy saying that there was this mini water fall where you can get drinking water, so I said that since we're almost out we should get more thinking that it would stop the fighting for a while. We walk over this bridge where the legal camp sites are. There's all these people on the beach that know Izzy and start talking to him. As Izzy talks to them Cody walks ahead and starts talking to this old man, and just by looking at his stance and facial expressions I could tell Cody didn't give a fuck about what this guy was telling him. Izzy pulls me aside and says "See that old man that Cody's talking to? Well he's the man who owns this side of the mountain. He's cool with people camping illegally on the other side, but if he doesn't like you, he can say weather you stay or go." I freak out knowing that Cody's a complete dumb ass and will probably get us kicked out. I tell Izzy to go over there and talk to him. The mountain man knew Izzy and asked if he was camping with Cody. Before I could hear what Izzy told him I pulled Cody aside and asked what that guy talked to him about. He said "He just asked me if I was the one who started the fire and reminded me to not start them during the day. Who the fuck does he think he is, telling me what to do?" After Izzy and the mountain man said bye to each other, Izzy walked up to meet us and showed us where the water was. On the walk there I walked far ahead of Cody and made sure Izzy was following. I asked Izzy what happened. He basically said that they just talked about the fire for a bit then carried on the conversation. The next day Izzy takes us to this place where they hand out free food for the homeless. They were nice old ladies and even though they were closed they gave us food to last us the day. When we got back to the site, Izzy blew up at Cody. Started telling Cody he's full of shit, lies all the time, and can't take care of himself. Cody, being the dumb ass he is, starts saying how he can take care of himself because he steals food, and says we're using him for it. Then he starts yelling at me for being a bad friend for not being on his side, and that I'm the reason why he had a meth problem in the past. The next day Cody says he can't take it anymore and wants to go back to Daniels. So we hitchhike all the way back to Grass Valley. When we get back, Izzy and I go for a walk. He tells me we need to get him home because for obvious reasons, this isn't the right lifestyle for Cody. I find his mom's number through facebook, call her up and tell her what's going on. I let her know that we couldn't call the cops because we've been taking care of him and we could get in trouble and that all we want is for him to be in a safe place. She told us to stop smoking weed with him because, even though she's all for legalizing it, Cody's a schizophrenic and that weed triggers that for him. She told me she would pick him up but she doesn't have a car that would make it up there. I call up my mom, told her what was going on and she said that my dad will be there to pick me and Cody up that day. Izzy says goodbye, and we make plans for him to visit me and pick me up to continue traveling. When we dropped off Cody, I called up his mom and told her where we dropped him off, the name of the guy he plans on staying with for the night, and the address of where he's going to tomorrow. He got picked up within 15 minuets. I called Izzy everyday after that, and sometimes he would answer. One day he called me and told me that he wasn't 26, he was really 36. I'm exactly half his age. He visited me like he promised, then I slowly stopped talking to him. In reality, it wasn't the age that bothered me, its that we had that kind of connection, like I really liked him and I could tell he felt the same about me, but he lied to me despite that, and he decided to tell me over phone, once I was gone. He's a really cool guy though and I'm glad I met him.

Now I'm in this really good relationship. The best relationship I've ever been in actually. He was my best friends ex boyfriend. The same one who took me to Grass Valley and went on that double date to six flags with me. They were together for over a year and a half. You know when you're in a relationship for that long and it kinda loses its buzz and you start to feel more comfortable with each other? Well, she's an attention whore and took that lose of buzz as a "he's not paying attention to me anymore" and used the excuse of her fathers death for a need of attention by a man. So she cheats on him with this guy who works at the gas station by the place she works. Even though I was best friends with her, I was still friends with Tony and saw that what she did was fucked up. So I start talking to him as a friend and ask if he wants to hang out to just have something to do. So he comes over and we watch The Pick of Destiny on his laptop and talk after words. It was cool and I thought nothing of it. We talk here and there and hang out a few more times. One day I get a new pair of lingerie that I think looks like hot shit when I wear it. I get super excited and I send it to all my friends who'd be cool with it. Thinking that Tony totally friend-zoned me and that he'd be totally cool with it, I send him one of the pictures over facebook. He messages me back with "Meg. You're hot." I thought he was joking around and i just say "lol thanks." He then says "No. Really. Meg you're fucking hot." I flip out cause Tony was cute shit to me from the beginning, but I never did anything about it cause he was dating my best friend and thought Lynn was way hotter then me. He told me that he thought I was hot for a long time. Said when we went on the double date to six flags, that he couldn't stop staring at my butt. So we make arrangements for that night for him to pick me up after work and take me to a hotel to fuck. At the beginning he does all the moves on me. Eating out, fingering, all that jazz, but when I try to make a move on him I see that his dick isn't up. So of course I try to suck it, but nothing happens. He said he ate Wendy's at lunch and has had a stomach ache since then. So he continues doing stuff to me. After a while he stops, runs to the bathroom, and pukes all over the bathroom. He freaks out, thinking he ruined our night, apologizing for it every 5 minuets. I really didn't care because I was laughing so hard! After he cleans up the bathroom he lays in the bed with me looking like he's about to cry, apologizing even more for wasting the time we had together. (I told my parents I was gonna see a movie with his family) I cuddle him and tell him its okay, and he makes out with me so he can get a boner and we can have fun for the last 15-30 minuets. At that moment I knew I had to try my hardest to not make this a one night stand and turn it into something. The next morning I message him on facebook saying that I'm hungry. He says "Me too." So I ask if he wants to go to this restaurant near my house that has great breakfast food. He takes me there and at the restaurant he orders a glass of chocolate milk. We make great conversation at the table. Then we go to the park near my house and decide that we want to spend more time with each other. So we go see Walter Mitty. After the movie we go to this park in that has a bay. We sit on the bench and see all the couples who carve there names in it, so as a joke he carves in M+T with a heart around it.





Of course after that, I have to tell Lynn what's going on. She flips shit and acts like I did this on purpose. Says that she can't be my friend anymore. I didn't really care cause it was her choice and I can't force a dysfunctional relationship on her.

The reason why Tony is the best boyfriend I've ever had is because he wants me to succeed in life, but he also wants me to enjoy life. He's the reason why I have my first job. He's motivating me to go to college. He's helped me discover that I want to be a Veterinarian. He is the only guy I have ever picture the rest of my life with, as in marriage and children. He is the only person that I've dated who I've shared my life plans with and has been totally into the idea of owning a ranch with me and helping me grow a garden. He is also the only boyfriend my parents have approved of, not only that but they actually love having him over and sometimes ask me to invite him to dinner. Tony is also 100% cool with my future plan on backpacking and hitchhiking around Europe with my friends, even though he doesn't want to go with me. Which actually makes it even greater because he trust me enough to go over seas and be safe and smart.


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## Matt Derrick (Apr 10, 2014)

wow, quite the read. first off, im sorry about the shitty experience you had with that rob guy, he sounds like a shithead. hopefully you're okay with chalking it up to experience, and won't let people abuse you like that (verbally/emotionally) in the future.

glad to hear about the new guy, sounds like a winner! also your parents sound pretty cool and supportive, so try not to give them too much shit 

anyways, glad you're okay and stay safe when you go abroad.


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## Meg (Apr 10, 2014)

Matt Derrick said:


> wow, quite the read. first off, im sorry about the shitty experience you had with that rob guy, he sounds like a shithead. hopefully you're okay with chalking it up to experience, and won't let people abuse you like that (verbally/emotionally) in the future.
> 
> glad to hear about the new guy, sounds like a winner! also your parents sound pretty cool and supportive, so try not to give them too much shit
> 
> anyways, glad you're okay and stay safe when you go abroad.


Thanks for the support man! And yes I do have awesome parents. Not all the time but most of the time. They support whatever decision I make and when they don't it's because its a really stupid decision. lol


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## Bl3wbyyou (Apr 10, 2014)

lol what a hell of a story.Glad ya found yerself a good guy out of it in the end.Keep on keepin on!Seems like yer parents care about ya so thats good.


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## iamwhatiam (Apr 16, 2014)

Try pressing enter a few times thruout your story to make more paragraphs? Might make it easier to read


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## scummy1990 (Apr 16, 2014)

dude i so bad wanted to read this but like iamwhatiam said a few spaces between would have been great but its no offense to u im not talking shit


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## meathook (May 2, 2014)

sounds like you need to take some time to assess why exactly you're in all these relationships in the first place. you're young and it seems like you've been rushing into serious commitments with seriously unhealthy people. keep yer head about you and find the strength to stand up for yerself and love yerself first- something i'm working on with myself, right now. 

also, "friend-zone" and "attention whore" are both disrespectful and gross phrases imo... just a thought.


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## Meg (May 20, 2014)

Can I still edit this??? I've been procrastinating for a while to edit this so its easier to read but I can't seem to find an edit button.


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## Meg (May 20, 2014)

meathook said:


> sounds like you need to take some time to assess why exactly you're in all these relationships in the first place. you're young and it seems like you've been rushing into serious commitments with seriously unhealthy people. keep yer head about you and find the strength to stand up for yerself and love yerself first- something i'm working on with myself, right now.
> 
> also, "friend-zone" and "attention whore" are both disrespectful and gross phrases imo... just a thought.



I already know this. I know I have a lot of self-love and social anxiety issues and I'm in therapy and have been in therapy since age 12 for these issues plus some. It probably doesn't say it in here but there was a good amount of time after Rob where I took into consideration that I needed to be more serious about what I am doing to myself. Which is actually why I was more careful about who I even went on dates with. I've already solved my problem and I'm in the kind of relationship I deserve.

Also I understand "attention whore" is a gross phrase, but as you can see this is a long ass thread and I was just trying to make this as short as I possibly could.


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