# How do you cope all alone on the streets by yourself, especially when you got social anxiety???



## XAlbertaWarriorWomenX

my s/o is currently mia, i know he has tried calling me at my moms, but i dont stay there due to the fact my mother doesnt trust me, im starting to get really depressed because im all by mysef and feel like im going crazy wandering the streets by myself, people are looking at me, which is making my social anxiety go higher and there is like no where i can hide to chill, how do you guys cope when your by yourself alone on the streets?


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## Deleted member 24029

Libraries have been a refuge for many. When overwhelmed by social anxiety, having a focus (e.g., a book, meditation, etc.) can be very effective. Also, working on your next stage, i.e., where you want to travel, etc. Bon chance!


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## XAlbertaWarriorWomenX

Bey said:


> Libraries have been a refuge for many. When overwhelmed by social anxiety, having a focus (e.g., a book, meditation, etc.) can be very effective. Also, working on your next stage, i.e., where you want to travel, etc. Bon chance!




Thanks  im actually chilling at ontario works building right now, hoping i will find my drunk boyfriend  but i dunno how well thats gonna work.


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## Deleted member 24029

Ontario Works is an assistance office, yes? I have to say that those places tend to be high stress environments! Probably the opposite of what you
want; but I hope it goes as well as possible...


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## Skit

Coping mechanisms vary from person to person but what has been helping me lately is reading and practicing mindfulness - which both sound cliche as fuck but there's a reason people tell you do try that. Sit alone, don't think about the future, don't think about the past. Feel the wind and sun touching your skin, listen for every minute sound there is to hear, and realize that you are perfectly okay in this moment. It takes practice, and with time it will become even more effective. Whenever I get to a new city, especially small ones - they make me the most nervous, and I've got my spot set up and a day's worth of food I look for a quiet park and try to do just that. 

I hope you get in contact with your man soon and that this will help you in the meantime.


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## Cam3J

Set a goal or goals. Obligate yourself to a duty. Build a dope shelter with shit you find around you. Sew some shit. Even if you're just gonna trash it in 2 hours, give yourself 2 hours of constructive duty. Concentration and focus on any task will relieve your anxiety. Don't be idle with your time. Be constructive.


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## Deleted member 22934

I dont know about most people, but I start to go crazy when I dont interact with anybody. When I was travelling, I would find find myself wanting to meet people, and then not having the social skills to really make it happen. I think the key is to just make small talk, ask random questions even if you already know the answer, and let them know your excited to see them anytime you see them more than once. But more than anything, just cherish the small moments with people, and make an effort to share those small moments with people. So even if your mostly alone, you dont have to feel isolated.


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## Anagor

Childgoddess said:


> im all by mysef and feel like im going crazy wandering the streets by myself, people are looking at me, which is making my social anxiety go higher and there is like no where i can hide to chill, how do you guys cope when your by yourself alone on the streets?



Everyone is different when it comes to that I think.

I really suffered from social anxiety as a teenager and even later in my 20s ... it got a bit better in my 30s.

For some reason starting to travel really helped me. As I did my first backpacking trips (hostels and so on) I really got out of my "comfort zone" and somehow I found that amazing.

Then as I started really vagabonding (sleeping rough, busking/begging, squatting, hitchhiking) that actually helped me even more. Both when it comes to be on the streets by myself and when it comes to socialize with others, making friends, do stuff I would not have thought I would do only a few years ago.

Perhaps it helped that when I first travelled all my situation changed. I went to a different country, nobody knew me there, I was in a "fuck it" mood and while before I was always concerned what people may think about me (friends, collegues, strangers) I didn't care anymore. I just decided to be honest and "be myself" towards everyone and don't give a fuck if someone doesn't like that.

Got rid of many other "constraints" in my life and depression as well. So hitting the road and starting to travel alone really was the best I could do.


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## EphemeralStick

Personally when my social anxiety is acting up I like to go somewhere busy and blend in with a crowd. Typically some place where there's so many people that me standing around on my own with a book blends into the background. 

There's something calming for me to be surrounded by people who have no obligation to interact with me that puts me at ease. Malls, parks, touristy beaches, those type of places. I like to people-watch though; I like seeing everyone in their own worlds, existing alongside each other with little knowledge of the people with whom they're sharing the space. 

Its a way more comfortable alternative to going to parties or shows for me to feel social and less alone.


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## Johny

I always have music and ppl watch, I notice habit and routine social patterns , I'm also a scavenger so stay vigilant for useful ground scores even if I personally don't need them there good for trade .
Also I explore never really sit still , always looking for a better or a back up camp and water source wifi electric ECT.
It's probably why I was a little slower than most my friends that hop ,I kinda try to get to know a place and how ppl are not necessarily but actually interaction but just observation. I've gotten really good at blending in over the years and hardly ever look homeless much less "traincore" and if I can I always try to get some work to earn money for the next leg kf my route.
I find it personally for filling to be self sustained.
Research your next step alittle , read your crew change , look at Google maps . Read reveiws on paces and cities, look up places to get free food or gear you can't afford ECT.
There's allot of stuff to do on the road. Take pictures , most of all enjoy yourself because at the end of the day you have to live with yourself, ppl come and go in life , you are your one constant.


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## jaws

I sing to myself and talk in different accents so that way I technically am talking to another person.


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## OBIWAN616

A dog.


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## XAlbertaWarriorWomenX

Skit said:


> Coping mechanisms vary from person to person but what has been helping me lately is reading and practicing mindfulness - which both sound cliche as fuck but there's a reason people tell you do try that. Sit alone, don't think about the future, don't think about the past. Feel the wind and sun touching your skin, listen for every minute sound there is to hear, and realize that you are perfectly okay in this moment. It takes practice, and with time it will become even more effective. Whenever I get to a new city, especially small ones - they make me the most nervous, and I've got my spot set up and a day's worth of food I look for a quiet park and try to do just that.
> 
> I hope you get in contact with your man soon and that this will help you in the meantime.





aww thank you  I know it sounds cliché, but I do believe it works, when I was younger, my anxiety use to way worse, but starting doing this everyday, within a month or two, felt more relaxed and calm, I forgot about mindfulness, thank you for reminding me again


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## XAlbertaWarriorWomenX

Johny said:


> I always have music and ppl watch, I notice habit and routine social patterns , I'm also a scavenger so stay vigilant for useful ground scores even if I personally don't need them there good for trade .
> Also I explore never really sit still , always looking for a better or a back up camp and water source wifi electric ECT.
> It's probably why I was a little slower than most my friends that hop ,I kinda try to get to know a place and how ppl are not necessarily but actually interaction but just observation. I've gotten really good at blending in over the years and hardly ever look homeless much less "traincore" and if I can I always try to get some work to earn money for the next leg kf my route.
> I find it personally for filling to be self sustained.
> Research your next step alittle , read your crew change , look at Google maps . Read reveiws on paces and cities, look up places to get free food or gear you can't afford ECT.
> There's allot of stuff to do on the road. Take pictures , most of all enjoy yourself because at the end of the day you have to live with yourself, ppl come and go in life , you are your one constant.




I love finding free shit, whether its online, dumpster diving, bin-diving, finding something on the ground, I don't really like going to those free soup kitchens, church places, I rather use stuff people are about to throw out, I like that whole freegan subculture, using that instead of it going to waste, make some unquie creative cool meal outta of it


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## Anagor

Childgoddess said:


> I love finding free shit, whether its online, dumpster diving, bin-diving, finding something on the ground



Me too.


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## Anagor

Childgoddess said:


> I don't really like going to those free soup kitchens, church places,



Well, in general I see it the same way. Said that, food runs and church places or groups of people walking around and coming to guys and gals on the streets helped me a couple of times.

When I really needed a new pair of pants or a coat or shoes.

I don't want to depend on them but I am grateful for what they do.


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## Koala

People watching at a park or similar public forum... watching little scenes unfold or folks just going their own independent ways and remembering we're all just out here doing our best and surviving and entertaining ourselves... that helps ground me and gets me out of the anxious thoughts in my head


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## Strangeandsolo

jaws said:


> I sing to myself and talk in different accents so that way I technically am talking to another person.


I do this too . Like being a voice actor.


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## r3yn

I used to get crushing bouts of loneliness, or feelings of being forsaken on Friday or Saturday nights.... when it feels like all the rest of the world is out having fun together. I think with time, it's just become numbed. And I guess there were many good nights had, too. Maybe it's realizing fairness, or balance -- that we can't party and get what we want all the time. Like bits of rainbow interspersed in a long timeline of grey....


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## Coywolf

jaws said:


> I sing to myself and talk in different accents so that way I technically am talking to another person.



Lol, I also do this. Really funny when you walk around a corner and realize someone heard the entire thing and you get labeled as "another on of those pesky homebums".

I am starting to experience more and more crushing social anxiety, almost to the level where I am considering going to see a doctor. When I am in a place where I dont feel comfortable hanging out in public, Ill goget me a beer and find the best bum spot, bridge, creek, or forested area and chill by myself and ramble on StP.

This is another reason why I cant stand cities, I get really paranoid and self conscious. May have to reenter society for a bit to get rid of these feelings.


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## roughdraft

the best answer is making yourself less anxious but in a sustainable way

unfortunately alcohol and other drugs will simply make shit a lot worse because you wind up depending on them, making you ultimately more anxious and more depressed in a viscious cycle they complicate things, usually deplete your funds at some point - so this is my idea that it is not sustainable, at best, which is kind of problematic

the better options are like deep breathing, light exercise, staying hydrated and all of what @Cam3J pointed out - living with a genuine purpose - my ideas riffing off of that - do art, service, laugh, smile, have nice chat, daydream, anything that reduces social anxiety and doesn´t come with as rigid or definite blowback

now i´m not some health nut, hyperproductive person, i´m not going to meditate in a monastery, i don´t want anyone subscribing to my words for some alterior motive - and i don´t give a fuck for all new age mumbo jumbo even though i have a couple spiritual "opinions" - i can only tell y´all this - the answers are within you, as a biological entity. anxiety is a chemical reaction, and undoing that anxiety is a chemical reaction. make the shit more simple.

beware of all drugs including alcohol, beware of doctors, but most of all beware not being honest with yourself and part of that is about not taking good care of your needs, whatever your situation may be

edit: avocados, sweet potatoes, blueberries, spinach, decent yogurt, honey, peanuts, almonds, turmeric, ginger, masturbation, screaming, swimming


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## Spazz

OBIWAN616 said:


> A dog.



That's my solution. She doesn't understand what I say well enough to be traumatized or offended by it, so I can tell her anything and she'll think I'm clever and interesting.

But she also works as a canary in a coal mine to repel people I don't want to interact with and attract the ones I do.

I don't have friends right now because I can't be a friend--trauma, loss, grief too recent for that to be realistic. Aquaintances who recognize me and want to pet my dog, admire my dog, show me pictures of their dog, and teach me better ways of caring for my dog are a very nice substitute and something I CAN do as far as what my dog and I refer to as "peopleing".


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## r3yn

Coywolf said:


> This is another reason why I cant stand cities, I get really paranoid and self conscious. May have to reenter society for a bit to get rid of these feelings.



I have never been able to get rid of these feelings -- unless searching at the bottom of a bottle.

The feeling is much less in other societies (other countries / other cultures), where I don't feel directly accountable to these masses of people.... feel far more free.

But really I think the answer is to find / make a family of our own, somewhere off-grid.


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## XAlbertaWarriorWomenX

Omg me too Coywolf, I have to drink everyday just to deal with it, and to go to those free food drop in places, I feel like everybody is just starting at me,


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## XAlbertaWarriorWomenX

Coywolf said:


> Lol, I also do this. Really funny when you walk around a corner and realize someone heard the entire thing and you get labeled as "another on of those pesky homebums".
> 
> I am starting to experience more and more crushing social anxiety, almost to the level where I am considering going to see a doctor. When I am in a place where I dont feel comfortable hanging out in public, Ill goget me a beer and find the best bum spot, bridge, creek, or forested area and chill by myself and ramble on StP.
> 
> This is another reason why I cant stand cities, I get really paranoid and self conscious. May have to reenter society for a bit to get rid of these feelings.




Well your not alone with this, when I was on the streets, I was getting anxious and self conscious with the way I looked, I had a black eye, dirty ass clothes on, hair was messy, just looked rough, had to just drink daily just to forget about it.


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