# Oh so Lost



## Sip (Jun 23, 2015)

Long time no talk, STP. I've missed you all quite dearly. Been a very interesting few weeks without you. Got engaged, had a threesome in a 400$ a night suite on the 21st floor of the marriot, got into scams, got out of scams, got picked up by an old man at pride. Dyed my hair for the first time. Quit my job. Started looking in to growing shrooms. And it has ALL SUCKED ASS.

I met a guy at pride who owns three businesses and he asked me what I was good for? A whole list of things came to mind, and I realized that without two years of previous experience, or some piece of paper it takes four years to get, or the references of the pantheon, none of the things on my list would amount to much. I told him this and we argued the merrits of college degrees. But what of the merrits of climbing mountains? What of the merrits of dodging the pervs and and finding the lost things in this world. What of the merrits of a life lived? I tried explaining this to him too, but I was buzzed and vaugley drunk and I couldn't get my lips to form the proper words. So he baggered me for my number until my fiance arrived with my fuck buddy. I gave him my grandpa's number and we laughed. He wanted a fuck buddy. Maybe a house boy. It's like..... the only options left to me are heavy drinking, and being a house boy. I've never tried alcoholism or being a whore. They appeal to me in an abstract sort of way. Like oil on water.

Did you know the air that rich people breathe smells better than our air? The marriot was like a faerie world and I could tell that I was among the aristocracy. A beautiful other place where nothing was ever wrong. Where enchantresess sang and musicians played and got paid just so people could fail to notice them. For a moment, on the concierge level, floor 21, I was one of them. It was beautiful. I betrayed my beliefs that night and wanted all the money in the world. I wanted never to leave my faerie kingdom, and the next day cameron cried because we were poor. I didn't blame him. We were thrown out of the castle. Our midsummer nights dream was over. Had it really happened?

And so I find myself, LOST. No skills on paper, a criminal history, it's a shame when you want to contribute to the ant hill, and the ants won't even let you. We own you and this is what you were bred for, but fuck off. Exile. Doom. Condemnation.

Now I have no job, no travel dreams, no sense of future or horizion. Though I do have verizon.

I was going to scam some church people, grow enough shrooms to fill a silo, and get back into my tower, but that isn't who I am. Though, if I don't know who I am, does that make me everyone or no one?

Tell me what to do next, STP. Do I try to make some money, do I move out of state, do I keep on going until the next new thing? What is the answer? Someone fucking tell me, because it isn't on craigslist or in the bible. God gave me instructions, for how to live my life, but I couldn't read his handwriting, so I burned them last night.

To make it clearer, I am bored. Can't find a job, and have no idea what my next goal should be.


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## Durp (Jun 23, 2015)

Look for school bus driver jobs. They use the summer to train new drivers. They won't list the jobs so go on tje web and look up all the school districts around, make good money for minimal work and a class b cdl for free. How did you get into the Marriott?


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## Sip (Jun 23, 2015)

A guy I know from around GR. He sells pot, a lot of pot. He's fucking smart. The kind of smart where he doesn't even do anything in particular to show it and you can just sort of feel it ooze off of him, like cologne. 

Thanks for the school bus driver idea. I never really thought about it, to be honest. Do you just fucking call them?


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## Peregrin (Jun 23, 2015)

Grow boomers! Be safe, don't fucking tell anyone, and sell to dealers exclusively.


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## DoctorApocalypse (Jun 23, 2015)

The two things I'd suggest looking into is some sort of skilled trade like welding, electrician, carpenter, etc... or OTR trucker. Both professions seem to be rather forgiving to having a criminal record and have advancement opportunity to make decent money. However they do require training, especially the OTR trucker route. But there are options for scholarships/tuition assistance, and trucker school is massively less expensive than traditional 4 year university degree that will leave you with out a guarantee of employment or anything save for some variably massive debt load. Also the OTR trucking schools will usually help ya with job placement, it might not be ideal at first but its a pretty valuable skill with options for local and long haul routes and it won't take too terribly long to land something you can grow with.

Aside from that, maybe look into nursing school or being a package handler at UPS or FedEx, or even the USPS. Yeah package handling isn't that long term in terms of opportunity but it's totally something with a paycheck to get ya by until you can make the leap into something more desirable. 

I totally understand the frustration, but have faith dude, there is opportunity out there for ya, you just need to have patience, a bit of faith, and know that even though you might not be able to currently see the light at the end of the tunnel just yet, it is there and you'll see it before you know it.


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## warlo (Jun 23, 2015)

learn juggling and go to traffic lights to get your money. No boss, no timetables, lots of money.


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## Tude (Jun 23, 2015)

I like the CDL license thing - A member here just got his license -- and another is looking into as well.


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## Peace (Jun 23, 2015)

I like the johnny hobo lyrics you threw in there.

CDL licensing is fairly easy, quick, and you make good money. But I'd imagine it gets pretty boring. Can you travel?


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## Mankini (Jun 23, 2015)

Most of the time if you show up at employment offices they have job training programs. When I was in Marin I signed up for it, intending to get NOLS Wilderness EMT training. They'll pay for almost anything. Might be worth looking into. Also there are cool places to go and work where the money's awesome and the setting is beautiful and/or fun. -Olympic National Park; Marin; Aspen, Jackson WY, etc.


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## iamwhatiam (Jun 23, 2015)

Im sure owning businesses and making lots of money is nice but I know so many people who are tied down by their jobs. sure they make good money, but what fun is that if you only take 1 or 2 vacations a year. I dont know. I think learning a trade would be the way to go..its what im probably gonna do for myself eventually. everyone has their own idea about what makes a person's worth....but fuck it. its your life to live, and you're the one thats gonna have to die when it comes time to die. I say do what you love, and love what you do. its that simple. you love drinking and spanging all day? do it. you want to make lots of money and live in a marriott? do it. just be happy with whatever it is you do and if u arent, then change it. sorry for the rambling


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## Sip (Jun 23, 2015)

Haha, I don't actually want to live in the marriot. I think I'd burn it down after a week. Thanks for all the suggestions, guys. I'll definitely look into getting my CDL. I've thought about it before, and just never made it happen. It wouldn't be a terrible job. My grandpa did it. 

I think half of my problem is that I think too much. I never get anything started because I talk myself into and out of it in the same fucking day. I just plain have to make something happen. I'm probably gonna go spange up enough money for gas and a bumper from the junk yard, throw my car together, and head back to PA. I need a change of scene. Then I can figure out where to go from there.


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## Peace (Jun 23, 2015)

where in PA?


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## Sip (Jun 23, 2015)

Not quite sure. I had a lot of fun checking out all of the little towns on I-80 earlier in the summer. We found this little town, Brooksville, that was so quaint it seemed fake. I am more of a wilderness guy than a city guy, but like to have the option. So something about an hour from a city? Either that or somewher on the ocean. VA, maybe. IDK. But I'm feeling much better about my life today, so it will fucking work out.


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## Peace (Jun 23, 2015)

ok cool =] if you end up anywhere close to jersey let me know =]


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## Mankini (Jun 23, 2015)

I love the security and peace of mind of rubber tramping. Boss sold me an old Aerostar; and then a few years later a Pontiac minivan and there ya go: home on wheels; lock the doors at nite and go to sleep; shih tzu on board; freedom.


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## Durp (Jun 23, 2015)

Just call districts they will tell you where to apply. If you want to be a trucker look up swift. Free cdl training, garunteed job.


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## spectacular (Jun 23, 2015)

I am feeling the same ennui.. Don't know what to do.. Don't really feel like doing anything. It's like my mind is cleaning itself out and all I can do is live my weird bottom dwelling existence while I sort it all out in ways I'm sometimes not even aware of.


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## Mankini (Jun 23, 2015)

yeah. same here.


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## Odin (Jun 23, 2015)

I'll throw my chips into the pot. 

I'm sorta in the same place. Left that indentured servitude _na na na na... na na na na hey hey hey good bye_.... weeks weeks ago... and am now in lazy limbo. 

sooner or later though we have to stop crying about it and do something... even if its just to put one foot in front of the other. 

GOOD LuCK SIP

Good luck to all of us. 

:S


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## Sip (Jun 23, 2015)

Yeah, I reread some of my old stuff that motivated me to take up the lifestyle in the first place today in the library. Sort of realized I was being a whine ass, even though there was a lot of truth to the everything I wrote in my original post last night. Thanks for the tips about swift, Jim. I think the main thing is to stay busy, and fight routine. If we fall into routine, then we're no better off than we were when we were working stiffs. The point is to always be on the lookout for new oppertunities. I don't like evasion for a lot of reasons, but the author was very good at this.

@voodoochile76 I have a love hate relationship with rubber tramping. On the one hand, I like it because it cuts out all the endless waiting and I'm more in control. On the other hand, I find that it really limits the adventures I get into, and car maintainence is a bitch. 

@Peace I'll definitely give you a shout. It's for sure a possibility. I don't get to as many new places as I'd like to, because I always have to drag the fiance along, but if I push hard enough he'll get onboard. God, I'm only 23. Fiance. I sound like an old fucking man.... Ugh.


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## RovingAnarchist (Jun 24, 2015)

A few things:
a) a trade is always good to have.
b) Burning down a Marriot is a fine thing, and I applaud your good idea! Maybe we could get together and do one that's next door to a bank as a two-for-one. 
c) if you've got track-tested skills but no proof, lie. Seriously. My resume is more or less fiction, and it works every time. I'm in second-in-command of a software company right now, based solely on BS and know-how. No one in a small business has time to check that shit. If you're confident in your ability to do the job, and no one is going to ask to see your licence, claim it.


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## Sip (Jun 24, 2015)

I'll bring the gas, and the lighter, you bring the ski mask. Also, I never really thought about lying. Always figured they'd catch me on the background check. I feel confident to do most jobs. Unless it's something real technical, you can usually learn it in a few days.


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## RovingAnarchist (Jun 24, 2015)

Like I said, the background check is pretty much just a threat. Unless it's a place big enough to have an HR department (now those bitches haven't got anything better to do than fuck you around), background check *might* mean a phone call to an old employer. Maybe. Usually they'll forgo that if they like you in the interview. 

I have a desk job, which is to say it's the exact same stuff no matter where I am. MS Office and Quickbooks are the easiest things in the world to learn, and will get you a job with very little hassle.


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## bigwillyt (Aug 1, 2015)

The CDL will open hundreds of doors. I personally recommend manual labor. You get paid good money to work out. I love that I've done landscaping for your exact situation. It will always be in demand and it's not a hard trade to learn. With a CDL you could even drive for a landscape company. It's hard work but I think throwing a shovel for a while will get you thinking about what you want real quick, and get you in shape at the same time.


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