# Into reality



## Whereamiwhatdoido (Mar 28, 2016)

This time I'm actually living somewhere real, I have a real room, with real heating and a real rent. That means I have to go to my real job, so they will pay me real money for my real rent so I can life in my real room with real heating.

It's so unreal after 5 years on the road. 

Nobody cares it seems, nobody knows me either, I assume.
Just gotta vent my discouraging spirit a bit, hope you guys won't mind. 

Now everyday seems so long, I have this nagging feeling that I'll never be able to stay "real" long enough to get the things I'd like. Like a drivers license, they're pretty expensive here. 

But travelling isn't the same, having nowhere to come back to, then what are you travelling towards? 

Shit is so real all of a sudden, one month ago I had an unreal cave on a unreal beach with unreal people who didn't care at all. Now they all care, here where I am, they care too much about nothing I'd say.

How will I make it in real life? Any suggestions? Any tips? Some of you must have stood in this position, what's there to do, while in the turbulence of it all?

Regards, like real regards, 
whereamIwhatdoIdo


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## angerisagift (Mar 28, 2016)

GL


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## MarsOrScars (Mar 28, 2016)

Get the license and maybe get back out by rubber tramping?


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## Matt Derrick (Apr 11, 2016)

I'm definitely in the same boat. After around 15 years of traveling off and on, i find myself nearing 40 years old (i'm 37) and wondering how long I'll still be able to do this for. the last 3 years of my life have been a real slump / bad period without doing hardly any traveling at all. this has mainly been because my parents have been constantly reminding me that i need to 'get a real job' now that i'm nearing 40 and i've been struggling between trying to make them proud of me and not killing myself with boredom/depression because i'm never happy unless i'm traveling. this usually results in short stints of settling down, literally going crazy, going traveling for a short bit (in which i feel sane), and then realizing i 'fucked my life up' and starting over again on the settling down thing. rinse, lather, repeat.


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## Adnil (Apr 12, 2016)

I can relate to a degree. It's been a couple of odd years for me because when I'm settled I'm looked at as scum and when I'm out traveln I'm seen as a hoi polloi. So not only will I have beaten nights from missing my kid (got booted at 18 when parents won custody), but I'm still trying to figure out where I belong on this planet. It does get stressful when you're expected to be at the same stage as your peers nevermind that you're coming from a completely different path of life. It's stressful and dare I say. . Unfair? Though that's just part of life, figuring yourself out and adjusting yourself to your environment. Just as it took adjusting to the life on the road, it'll take your time and patience to adjust back into the real world. As far as making it in the real world though, I believe that most people secretly don't know how to make it. It's why you find college students attending a safety net of education without a clue on what degree to master and people in the ghettos treating themselves to Jordan's from knowing that they can't pay rent no matter the savings so they might as well live a little. Fact is, we're all struggling to make it rather we're housed up or hustling on the move. Me personally, I realized that stress wasn't fixing my problems, but finding peace within myself was helping me to smile besides them. If you're on edge, there are agency(s) that help with housing, school, jobs, food, and heck even clothes! If it's available and you're approved, then why not? 

Best of luck, 
Adnil


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## Deleted member 14481 (Apr 15, 2016)

I don't know if I really understand the mindset behind this post, but to say all this is "real".... Does that mean that everything else fake? Everything that you've been through to make you how you are today. What does that mean to you, and how do you think that will affect your life now?


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## spectacular (Apr 15, 2016)

Matt Derrick said:


> I'm definitely in the same boat. After around 15 years of traveling off and on, i find myself nearing 40 years old (i'm 37) and wondering how long I'll still be able to do this for. the last 3 years of my life have been a real slump / bad period without doing hardly any traveling at all. this has mainly been because my parents have been constantly reminding me that i need to 'get a real job' now that i'm nearing 40 and i've been struggling between trying to make them proud of me and not killing myself with boredom/depression because i'm never happy unless i'm traveling. this usually results in short stints of settling down, literally going crazy, going traveling for a short bit (in which i feel sane), and then realizing i 'fucked my life up' and starting over again on the settling down thing. rinse, lather, repeat.


hopefully your parents die soon or you cut them loose and live your own life. sounds like a toxic relationship.


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## Matt Derrick (Apr 16, 2016)

bizzolizzo said:


> hopefully your parents die soon or you cut them loose and live your own life. sounds like a toxic relationship.



no offense, but why are most of your posts so hateful? it's not like my parents rule over my life or anything, i love my family and i just don't want to disappoint them, but at the same time i'm trying to make them come around to the lifestyle we all live here, so it's a bit of a struggle. it's not worth wishing them dead over, geez.


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## Odin (Apr 16, 2016)

I don't buy into the idea that a certain age means you need to live a certain way. Nothing is guaranteed or to be taken for granted in life. You could have that picket fence and family and you never know if some event... Illness or economic or world war whatever can take it away and then your starting from square one maybe striking out to the unknown anyway. 

Even for a hermit life continues to happen and you gotta roll with the punches. 

Matt if you got supportive parents of course you will realize that and consider advice. Bizzo just cuz parents wish a kid would live a certain way does not make them toxic... _specially if they are supportive folks who got your back anyway whatever you do if you fall on tough times. _

Most folks would be lucky to have such nagging parents. 

Also... we all should question our reality no matter what way you are living currently, if you are housed up or not. 
Thats a funky rabbit hole for sure but there is definitely something stinky about it.


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## thekaleisnotforyou (Apr 16, 2016)

Why is that considered so real? That's just the way society sees living as real.. But in the end , is it really? I know too many people who live that "real" life and they're miserable and mostly fake. 

You say why bother travelling if there isn't anywhere to go home to but isn't that the point? Travelling doesn't have an end destination, it's about going to new places. 

I say live this "real" life until you save up enough, get your license and car/van and get back out there!


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## spectacular (Apr 17, 2016)

Matt Derrick said:


> no offense, but why are most of your posts so hateful? it's not like my parents rule over my life or anything, i love my family and i just don't want to disappoint them, but at the same time i'm trying to make them come around to the lifestyle we all live here, so it's a bit of a struggle. it's not worth wishing them dead over, geez.


most of my posts are hateful? really? news to me. got a lot more likes than thumbs down. besides one could interpret my post as loving in that i'd rather see your judgmental parents out of your life in one way or another than making you feel like shit over things that don't matter.


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## Matt Derrick (Apr 17, 2016)

bizzolizzo said:


> one could interpret my post as loving



it's hard to see it that way when you're wishing them dead. and come on, we both know you didn't mean it in a 'loving' way.


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## spectacular (Apr 17, 2016)

Matt Derrick said:


> it's hard to see it that way when you're wishing them dead. and come on, we both know you didn't mean it in a 'loving' way.


i did. and do. if that's not what you're about, i understand. but lots of people find it a relief when their judgmental, demanding parents pass away. even if there was a lot of love there.


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## Whereamiwhatdoido (Apr 24, 2016)

Wow I just realised repliying never happened to any of your questions, nor suggestions. Pardon that, took a little time without stp. 

In the sence that I said "real" was meant as a semi-sarcastic point of view that there isn't mich to it but the values of security to it. 

I live in a mild tempered paranoia world, where conspiracies doesn't seem completely as lies. Therefore the mindset of mentioning all these things as real was in a way ment to bring attention to the fact that it's something I haven't actually done beflre in my life. 

And yes. I think the way I was living for periods on the road were very unreal indeed. Not because travelling is not an awesome way to grow. But just in my case I've been using it as an escape from a world where money rules. 

Which is again why I wanted to actually lay it offy chest, the burden of having a job is not a question of laziness for me, it's just a major moral conflict arising from earning money. 

If anybody still hoovers this thread I'll be here some times a day, checking out here. Maybe I'll even become more active, figured yesterday something was missing; and it was you lot !


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