# The Urban Stealth Sleep System.



## Mankini

Can you spot the urban camper? Neither can snooping cops and nosy passersby!

Each elegant USSS is constructed of the highest quality materials, lovingly by hand by Mankini, the renowned creator of stealth and camouflage systems since 1997.

Prices available upon request: the Base level, original Mk 1 Model 1A USSS starts at 19.99, plus shipping.

The Starbucks starts at 24.99.

The Road Warrior starts at 24.99.

The Ferrari (tm pending) upscale USSS starts at 34.99.













Handcrafted in Colorado and available exclusively on Squat The Planet.
With the new USSS, you can plop down any old place and stay dry, warm, and completely undetected.
The USSS is a revolutionary new stealth system developed by urban campers, for urban campers. Are you tired of being told to ''move it along'' by hassling cops? Tired of getting rained on, sniffed by curious pets, or drenched by water sprinklers? Want to stay toasty and dry in subzero conditions? With the new USSS, you can read, listen to music, eat, or masturbate in complete privacy!

Each USSS is constructed of the finest quality materials, sourced locally in the beautiful Rocky Mountains of Colorado. The base layer is buttery soft 10 mil plastic sheeting, with an additional layer of top secret Starlite insulation and macrame camouflage. USSS is used by snipers, countersnipers, surveillance personnel, and special units like GSG9, Delta, SBS, ISA, and many others worldwide! The USSS includes hand-printed instructions.

Winter, Summer, and Regional variants available upon request.
USPS shipping 5-10 days; will Fedex or Priority Express if needed.


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## Rob Nothing

you, sir


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## ped

that first pic is what late 60's?


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## Mankini

LOL Yeah I just picked some random suitable photos off google. But the product is real!!


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## Odin

Nice going @Mankini..













You took a childhood memory and recycled it!


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## Matt Derrick

I don't get it. 

Sent from my LG-H815 using the Squat the Planet mobile app!


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## Mankini

Matt Derrick said:


> I don't get it.
> 
> Sent from my LG-H815 using the Squat the Planet mobile app!



think ghillie suit.


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## Kim Chee

Moved from "black market" to "general banter" since this is a fictional item.

It is fictional, isn't it?


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## TravellerNick

Great, you can have rats for hand warmers too.[emoji5]


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## autumn

A ghillie suit made of trash. Fantastic.


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## Mankini

Kim Chee said:


> Moved from "black market" to "general banter" since this is a fictional item.
> 
> It is fictional, isn't it?



Nooo!!!!!  This is an actual item I want to sell!!!


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## Mankini

True story: The USSS was inspired by Central Perk (oops, Park). I walked along the western periphery between 103rd and 59th, and as I did, -as I usually do, I looked at the winter foliage with a discerning, tactician's eye. Now, those of you who have much desired to stop awhile in such desirable real estate will know what I'm talking about: when one is surrounded by hundreds nay, thousands of inquisitive looky-loos who are -specifically- there to looky-loo, one risks discovery and usually disturbance. When, as in CPW, the looky-loos are augmented by a thousands-strong contingent of for-profit dogwalkers with Teacup Poms and King Charles spaniels, the issues become readily apparent. I, your Faithfull Guyde, was personally very nearly rousted by a father and son while ''making a doodie'' in the far NW quadrant of the park known as "Great Hill''...Crotchfruit here seen as NEMO approx. 7 years old walking with his father, a bearded, hipster looking dude I shall refer here to as 'Xeno'...Anyways, Nemo, in a strident tone, says, "Daddy!...Daddy!...Daddy!!...Daddy..." XENO: "What, Junior? Shh, Enjoy the scenery."...NEMO Daddy!! Daddy!! Something smells...ICKIE!!!...[At this point, the two stop, literally 7 feet from my USSS, me underneath it, making ICKIE] ...XENO: "What, Son?!"....NEMO: "Ummm, Daddy."....XENO: "Well, Mommy's making fruity chews [garbled]" NEMO: "I want rollershoes for Christmas, Daddy."...XENO: "Well, put it on Santa's list." [they're still paused on the trail and I want to squeeze out my last chunky and GTFO but can't because these two counter-revolutionaries will hear my backblast]

Point being: Without my USSS, I would have been visually detected IMMEDIATELY with embarassment for all parties involved.


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## Matt Derrick

Mankini said:


> think ghillie suit.


What I meant to say is I think this idea is stupid and you're just wasting people's time. 

Sent from my LG-H815 using the Squat the Planet mobile app!


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## Mankini

Matt Derrick said:


> What I meant to say is I think this idea is stupid and you're just wasting people's time.
> 
> Sent from my LG-H815 using the Squat the Planet mobile app!



Ohoho. Well we shall see about that. Prototypes are tested and waiting for shipment. Scottish game wardens developed the original Ghillie suit centuries ago..Forward video to 2:39 and watch the fun start.


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## todd

the hate and rudeness for a genius is real..
@Mankini is there a way to get that in mohair cuz im allergic to polyester. probably due to a disco related incedent @ '78/ '79


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## hahahaimnoone

and i thought i came up with this alone dammit!
i need a web cam so i can get some of the funnier moments of people getting close to my pile in FoCo 
only improvement is placement, definitely on top of a grate this time of year. warm and you dont have to get out to pee


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## Mankini

h0pe said:


> and i thought i came up with this alone dammit!
> i need a web cam so i can get some of the funnier moments of people getting close to my pile in FoCo
> only improvement is placement, definitely on top of a grate this time of year. warm and you dont have to get out to pee



I stole your idea. Tell the mods to put it back in Black Marketttttt!!!!!!!!!


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## Mankini

h0pe said:


> and i thought i came up with this alone dammit!
> i need a web cam so i can get some of the funnier moments of people getting close to my pile in FoCo
> only improvement is placement, definitely on top of a grate this time of year. warm and you dont have to get out to pee



I wanna see pics of yer PILE!!!


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## Will Wood

Mankini said:


> Can you spot the urban camper? Neither can snooping cops and nosy passersby!
> 
> Each elegant USSS is constructed of the highest quality materials, lovingly by hand by Mankini, the renowned creator of stealth and camouflage systems since 1997.
> 
> Prices available upon request: the Base level, original Mk 1 Model 1A USSS starts at 19.99, plus shipping.
> 
> The Starbucks starts at 24.99.
> 
> The Road Warrior starts at 24.99.
> 
> The Ferrari (tm pending) upscale USSS starts at 34.99.
> 
> View attachment 34446
> View attachment 34447
> View attachment 34447
> 
> 
> Handcrafted in Colorado and available exclusively on Squat The Planet.
> With the new USSS, you can plop down any old place and stay dry, warm, and completely undetected.
> The USSS is a revolutionary new stealth system developed by urban campers, for urban campers. Are you tired of being told to ''move it along'' by hassling cops? Tired of getting rained on, sniffed by curious pets, or drenched by water sprinklers? Want to stay toasty and dry in subzero conditions? With the new USSS, you can read, listen to music, eat, or masturbate in complete privacy!
> 
> Each USSS is constructed of the finest quality materials, sourced locally in the beautiful Rocky Mountains of Colorado. The base layer is buttery soft 10 mil plastic sheeting, with an additional layer of top secret Starlite insulation and macrame camouflage. USSS is used by snipers, countersnipers, surveillance personnel, and special units like GSG9, Delta, SBS, ISA, and many others worldwide! The USSS includes hand-printed instructions.
> 
> Winter, Summer, and Regional variants available upon request.
> USPS shipping 5-10 days; will Fedex or Priority Express if needed.
> 
> View attachment 34444
> View attachment 34445


Ok, I am interested if your serious. Do you have some video of using this?? How to follow up??


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## Will Wood

Will Wood said:


> Ok, I am interested if your serious. Do you have some video of using this?? How to follow up??


I have nice camping spots here in Arizona, But freeze my ass off.. Desert camo would be nice and some ways to stay warm.. Not a bad idea, kindof noisy.. What about using Tyvek sheet? I think it is waterproof??


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## todd

Honestly the best urban survival system known to man. I recently received mine and got a free walmart brand foot water repellent system as my free gift. only had to pay separate shipping and handling


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