# After 18 years of housie life... Back on my bullshit



## FawnGone (Dec 23, 2020)

Hi everyone! New to this site so here's a bit about me....
I started squatting at 15, traveling/hitching/hopping at 16. Traveled all over the country multiple times that way until I got pregnant at 20 and got off the road for my kid... Did a lot of domestic, responsible shit in the past 17 years and got two college degrees, traveled to other countries, blah blah blah... But I always, always, feel the call of the road haunting me, and now my son is old enough and asking me to show him things I know... So we are planning to wander off again together, probably heading down south via freight for a couple months in the spring. Roughly planning to go to FL from Rocky Mount NC and then over to NOLA and east Texas before making our way back north. Probably in March-April.
It's a good time for us to do it for several reasons. I'm not sure what I expect to learn, or face, or if it's a good idea or not right now. All I know is that the call is almost unbearably loud now, and as most of you can probably relate, it becomes impossible to ignore once it's there. You have to go. It's that time again. And I'd rather my kiddo learn from me at least a little bit before wandering off on his own. He was conceived on the road, somewhere between the Billings, MT yard and Sturgis.... His father died from drugs when he was 3, and it's been just us all these years. It's in his blood, and a part of our family. We are taking my husky mutt, Mishka, as well.

I'm joining this community mainly to establish newer connections, as most of my old crew are dead or settled, and to hopefully reconnect with some older folks I knew back then. I also could use updated tips on riding, as my old CCG was from 1999, and I mainly hopped around up on the high line between Wisconsin and Washington. I was based out of NC/Chapel Hill (called Jess or Little Jess, though I prefer Fawn now) I had a 3 legged hound dog named Ren way back in the day, but mostly travelled with my dog Kaiote, who looked like a little Shepherd/dingo mix. and have spent a lot of time in different places.
I'm an animal liberationist and would love to connect with other animal rights and environmental activists, as well as connect with other vegans on the road.
Anywhooo... That's about it!
Nice to meet y'all


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## Crisy (Dec 24, 2020)

I wish my mama was as badass as you! Its awesome your sharing this experience with your son.


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## Snaxxx (Dec 24, 2020)

Me and my daughter and our husky are in Florida if you come through. Gainsville area. Hit me up on here if you would like to meet up sometime


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## FawnGone (Dec 24, 2020)

crisybeatcancer said:


> I wish my mama was as badass as you! Its awesome your sharing this experience with your son.


Thanks so much 
This past year has been really hard on him. He was hitchhiking alone without me knowing, and was attacked by someone. He was ok physically, but it sent him into a spiral of depression and suicide attempts. Everyone was telling me to keep him in school, put him on drugs, etc.. But none of that really felt right to me and I realized how trapped and obedient to the system I was becoming.
I woke up and shook all that off, pulled him out of school, and took him down to NC for a while last summer. He had so much fun with my old squatter family and everyone that I realized what he really needed was to gtfo of here and find his true people, his tribe. I think about how finding my crew back in the day saved my own life, and how the ones who are alive are still my best friends, and decided to take him on the road and teach him how to make his way as an honorable oogle.
Since we've been planning this for the past couple weeks, we've never been closer and he is so damn happy already.


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## FawnGone (Dec 24, 2020)

Snaxxx said:


> Me and my daughter and our husky are in Florida if you come through. Gainsville area. Hit me up on here if you would like to meet up sometime


Thanks so much, man! I've never been to Gainsville, though I hitched down to Key West when I was 17. I spent more time in southern FL. If we wind up in that area, I'll hit you up.


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## croc (Dec 24, 2020)

Hey, love yalls story n I'm stoked for ur son to experience new shit n find his own way. Good on u for listening to his needs. 

Just a heads up that u can't ride to nola from FL anymore. U can hmu for help navigating the more current lines in the SE if you'd like.


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## FawnGone (Dec 24, 2020)

croc said:


> Hey, love yalls story n I'm stoked for ur son to experience new shit n find his own way. Good on u for listening to his needs.
> 
> Just a heads up that u can't ride to nola from FL anymore. U can hmu for help navigating the more current lines in the SE if you'd like.


Damn, thanks a lot, super helpful heads up. I'll def contact you for more info on that.


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## Matt Derrick (Dec 24, 2020)

I don't know if you'll be going anywhere near Austin, TX and need someone to show you around, but I should be around until the end of March, after that I'm driving to the west coast.


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## FawnGone (Dec 24, 2020)

Matt Derrick said:


> I don't know if you'll be going anywhere near Austin, TX and need someone to show you around, but I should be around until the end of March, after that I'm driving to the west coast.


Thanks so much, was thinking of hitting Austin in April... but we have no time frame really, except to be in nola at the end of March for a friend's 40th birthday shindig. I've never been to Austin and would love to hang out with some folks there. Hopefully things shake out that we could meet up.


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## Crisy (Dec 24, 2020)

FawnGone said:


> Thanks so much
> This past year has been really hard on him. He was hitchhiking alone without me knowing, and was attacked by someone. He was ok physically, but it sent him into a spiral of depression and suicide attempts. Everyone was telling me to keep him in school, put him on drugs, etc.. But none of that really felt right to me and I realized how trapped and obedient to the system I was becoming.
> I woke up and shook all that off, pulled him out of school, and took him down to NC for a while last summer. He had so much fun with my old squatter family and everyone that I realized what he really needed was to gtfo of here and find his true people, his tribe. I think about how finding my crew back in the day saved my own life, and how the ones who are alive are still my best friends, and decided to take him on the road and teach him how to make his way as an honorable oogle.
> Since we've been planning this for the past couple weeks, we've never been closer and he is so damn happy already.


Well if yall ever come through alabama after i get my house fixed, id love to let yall come crash. (its on family land so i cant offer that to many people) i was given a trailer thats been abandoned for 15+ years and im trying so hard to make it livable, so i can let people come through and crash and show them that this place dosnt suck so bad.


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## FawnGone (Dec 24, 2020)

crisybeatcancer said:


> Well if yall ever come through alabama after i get my house fixed, id love to let yall come crash. (its on family land so i cant offer that to many people) i was given a trailer thats been abandoned for 15+ years and im trying so hard to make it livable, so i can let people come through and crash and show them that this place dosnt suck so bad.


That's really kind, thank you. We'll be down around there in March/April. What area of AL are you in? Some of the nicest and at the same time absolute craziest people have picked me up hitchhiking in AL, so I have a soft spot in my heart for the state. I've also lived in a busted old trailer in NC when the kid was a toddler, and I know the struggle. "Another fuse?! Fuck this!" lol. If you have any jobs that could use a few extra hands, we could help out for a day or two in exchange for shower/floor space if it happens to work that way.


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## Crisy (Dec 24, 2020)

FawnGone said:


> That's really kind, thank you. We'll be down around there in March/April. What area of AL are you in? Some of the nicest and at the same time absolute craziest people have picked me up hitchhiking in AL, so I have a soft spot in my heart for the state. I've also lived in a busted old trailer in NC when the kid was a toddler, and I know the struggle. "Another fuse?! Fuck this!" lol. If you have any jobs that could use a few extra hands, we could help out for a day or two in exchange for shower/floor space if it happens to work that way.


Its in blount county, its just north of birmingham. It may be a bit cold to swim then, but i know some really cool hiking spots and id totally not complain if yall would wanna help me with some of the work on my trailer, im extremely broke, so i could pay you in homemade pasta and good ole southern hospitality.


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## FawnGone (Dec 24, 2020)

crisybeatcancer said:


> Its in blount county, its just north of birmingham. It may be a bit cold to swim then, but i know some really cool hiking spots and id totally not complain if yall would wanna help me with some of the work on my trailer, im extremely broke, so i could pay you in homemade pasta and good ole southern hospitality.


That actually sounds pretty rad, I'd love to explore some natural areas down that way and take a day or two to chill and help out for pasta. I will hit you up if I think we will be around that way.


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## awkwardshelby (Dec 28, 2020)

Hey welcome, I get it. I've been settled for a lil too long time. That ramblin part of our minds always seems to come back. 

If you make your way down to San Antonio after hitting Austin, I'm happy to house ya and show you the best vegan taco spots.


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## FawnGone (Dec 28, 2020)

awkwardshelby said:


> Hey welcome, I get it. I've been settled for a lil too long time. That ramblin part of our minds always seems to come back.
> 
> If you make your way down to San Antonio after hitting Austin, I'm happy to house ya and show you the best vegan taco spots.


Sweet, might do that! Thanks 
Last time I was in san Antonio was a weird ass experience and we almost got arrested, but we had a lot of fun! Would be cool to check it out again.


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## Hudson (Dec 28, 2020)

I've been settled down for the past three years, it feels like I've broke a cycle, but I feel the nomadic life calling to me. I love my life, my gitlfriend and the people around me. but theres nothing like having a new horizon everyday. I feel life is full of so much meaning, and definetly is not the grind.

I wish you guys the best of luck. This is a great site for making connections. When was the last time you were on freight? I havent been on one in over a decade and i am kinda scared in my older age.


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## FawnGone (Dec 28, 2020)

Hudson said:


> I've been settled down for the past three years, it feels like I've broke a cycle, but I feel the nomadic life calling to me. I love my life, my gitlfriend and the people around me. but theres nothing like having a new horizon everyday. I feel life is full of so much meaning, and definetly is not the grind.
> 
> I wish you guys the best of luck. This is a great site for making connections. When was the last time you were on freight? I havent been on one in over a decade and i am kinda scared in my older age.


Thanks, man, yeah everyone here has been really awesome so far.
I haven't hopped on a freight in 18 years... When I found out I was pregnant all of that just... stopped suddenly. After his dad died I knew I couldn't even risk arrest or especially something worse, because I was all he had.
To be honest I'm nervous. I have done the highline, the low highline from Wenatchee to Billings, some junk in Wisconsin, I've done a few shorter rides on GM/junk in the southeast... I'm not inexperienced. But it's been a long damn time. I've been doing my research and actually learning quite a bit about railyard operations and CSX symbols and shit I had no clue about when I was young. So, that's cool. I'm most nervous about the cops separating us or fucking with me because he's not quite 18. I'm more scared of that than anything. But the kid says he understands the risks and he is willing to deal with any of the consequences. Hopefully, we will be smiled on by the train gods. Lol. I'm trying not to stress. We are going over to a local yard this week with some dead trains so I can show him different cars and he can practice lifting the dog up to me and such.


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## Crazy Hobo Johnny (Dec 29, 2020)

*Welcome Aboard FawnGone!!! You're in the right place!!!

Nice write up! Hope to meet you somewhere on the road in the future.

I wish you the best of luck and keep us updated!*


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## FawnGone (Dec 29, 2020)

Crazy Hobo Johnny said:


> *Welcome Aboard FawnGone!!! You're in the right place!!!
> 
> Nice write up! Hope to meet you somewhere on the road in the future.
> 
> I wish you the best of luck and keep us updated!*


Thanks! Will do!


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## Beegod Santana (Dec 31, 2020)

So if he's close to 18 I would highly recommend other forms of travel until he's of age. The likelihood of you two being caught is pretty high and while you'd hope bulls would be caught off guard and be chill with a mom/son train crew, it could lead to you losing custody and him ending up in foster care/group home God knows where... I really don't see southern judges being super receptive to this scenario.

That being said, y'all wouldn't be the first.


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## FawnGone (Dec 31, 2020)

Beegod Santana said:


> So if he's close to 18 I would highly recommend other forms of travel until he's of age. The likelihood of you two being caught is pretty high and while you'd hope bulls would be caught off guard and be chill with a mom/son train crew, it could lead to you losing custody and him ending up in foster care/group home God knows where... I really don't see southern judges being super receptive to this scenario.
> 
> That being said, y'all wouldn't be the first.


Yeah, the risk is there, for sure. I wouldn't say the risk is any higher or lower of us being caught than any other time I've done it. I've been with 4 people and 4 dogs with no problems. It really comes down to luck. Plus, this isn't my first rodeo and I am pretty good at not being seen when I don't want to be.
But yes, it is a risk. And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. I have no idea what they'd do. We have a good story to tell them and we'd be sober. I have bail money. The laws are strange for 17 year olds, too. In a lot of states it's a grey area as far as what they are allowed to do on their own. Though I am also aware of all legal implications of being on rr property. I would expect southerners to be more chill in general, based on my experience, but who knows. It just comes down to the individual cop or judge.
The kid will have 4 months to go until he's 18, and says that he's understanding of the risks and will deal with the consequences, because it would only be for a few months anyway.
I'm going to try to be as super careful as I can, and try to have faith that it will be a fun and easy trip, like my previous experiences.


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## Beegod Santana (Jan 1, 2021)

FawnGone said:


> I would expect southerners to be more chill in general,


This is a very dangerous generalization. Like, crazy dangerous. Southerners love fucking over yankees and it sounds like y'all would be traveling with Mass ID's.


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## FawnGone (Jan 1, 2021)

Beegod Santana said:


> This is a very dangerous generalization. Like, crazy dangerous. Southerners love fucking over yankees and it sounds like y'all would be traveling with Mass ID's.


True, there is that. I do think it really just comes down to the individual, and in the moment. Basically anything can happen and there's no telling. I'm just used to everything here in the northeast being super regulated and monitored and everyone up your ass about everything, and I didn't feel that way when I lived down south.


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## FawnGone (Jan 1, 2021)

It's also a generalization to say Southerners love fucking over Yankees. I spent lots of time in the southeast when I was young, and my son was born there. His father's family were 4th generation tobacco farmers in NC. Even though I was from PA and had a Philly accent, I found most people I met really friendly and kind, even a lot of decent cops and railyard workers when I was traveling/ squatting. 
They aren't all out to get Yankees, at least that has never been my experience in all my years down there. 
But again, really all depends on the individual in the situation, and there's no way to predict anything.


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## Beegod Santana (Jan 1, 2021)

It's all up to circumstance, however I'm also speaking from experience. I was down there 18 years ago as well and I pass through yearly and there's no end to the horror stories I could tell you about the southern legal system. In Alabama there's judges who have given out over 2 million years in sentences and take great pride in it. As I said, you'd hope they'd be chill but all it takes is one authority figure with a stick up their ass.

After Katrina I landed a security gig guarding fema equipment and got to work all over the gulf coast. Most of the guys I worked with were ex-cops (security gig paid more). They all had stories about ruining people's lives just cause they didn't like the cut of their gib. I'm sure people were very kind to you as a pregnant teenager down there. I wouldn't count on the same treatment as a grown woman with a teenager son bumming it for kicks.

Sorry to be such a Debbie Downer and like I said, it might be totally fine and groovy, but if it really is just 4 months I'd really recommend waiting it out. Anyone he hangs out with along the way could also find themselves in a bit of pickle.


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## FawnGone (Jan 1, 2021)

Beegod Santana said:


> It's all up to circumstance, however I'm also speaking from experience. I was down there 18 years ago as well and I pass through yearly and there's no end to the horror stories I could tell you about the southern legal system. In Alabama there's judges who have given out over 2 million years in sentences and take great pride in it. As I said, you'd hope they'd be chill but all it takes is one authority figure with a stick up their ass.
> 
> After Katrina I landed a security gig guarding fema equipment and got to work all over the gulf coast. Most of the guys I worked with were ex-cops (security gig paid more). They all had stories about ruining people's lives just cause they didn't like the cut of their gib. I'm sure people were very kind to you as a pregnant teenager down there. I wouldn't count on the same treatment as a grown woman with a teenager son bumming it for kicks.
> 
> Sorry to be such a Debbie Downer and like I said, it might be totally fine and groovy, but if it really is just 4 months I'd really recommend waiting it out. Anyone he hangs out with along the way could also find themselves in a bit of pickle.


For sure, man. It does concern me, not gonna lie. I'm not green or naive to how fucked up people can be, and the cultural differences... It is a lot to think about. The thing that sucks is that by July when he turns 18, I'll have responsibilities piling up here and need to be back here dealing with shit. as always, the timing in my life is problematic. 

I definitely considered the fact that anyone he hangs out with could be in an awkward situation. I was hitching/hopping at 16/17 with older people and they only got tickets a few times, always for buying alcohol for groups of kids. We would be sober and he's very respectful and smart, esp dealing with cops and older people, so I was hoping that would work in our favor. (he even always naturally takes his hat off and says "sir" and "m'am" with no sarcasm- I think that's his southern genes). 
My greatest fear is that I go to jail for a month or something, and he's left on his own to deal with the dog in a state he's unfamiliar with. My advice to him on that is- hitch to the nearest city and find some dirty kids for a while until I get out. But, I was doing that shit at his age and I survived just fine, with a lot of life experience gained.

I might chicken shit out at the last minute and just drive this time, and wait until he's 18 like I originally had planned. It would be safer, and smarter, but sometimes I take risks I guess.


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## Matt Derrick (Jan 1, 2021)

@FawnGone i think you have a good enough head on your shoulders to make the right call either way. with your previous street experience i think you and your son will be fine, just keep yer head on a swivel


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## Beegod Santana (Jan 1, 2021)

Do what your gut says. All my posts really should have a "never let some cynical asshole on the internet talk you out of your dreams" disclaimer on them.


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## FawnGone (Jan 1, 2021)

Beegod Santana said:


> Do what your gut says. All my posts really should have a "never let some cynical asshole on the internet talk you out of your dreams" disclaimer on them.


It really comes down to whether my anxiety becomes greater than any enjoyment I'd get from the rides. It's typically pretty high in general. I don't give a fuck if he goes to jail when he's 18, if he chooses to do this with me, but the idea of legal problems or CPS getting involved the last 4 months of his "childhood" would make me feel awful and stupid. So, I don't know....
There are also benefits to bringing the truck this time, too. There's a lot of places I'd like to check out, and people I'd like to visit, that I really need the freedom of a vehicle to see/do. I'd like to stop in Savannah again since we'll be going through there mid-March anyway, but fucking with the yard there at that time is literally asking for trouble, and I don't want to draw heat there or create problems for those who don't have other travel options like we do right now... Plus, I like the idea of having the truck with me to pick up hitchhikers and help folks out.

Lots to consider. We may push the renegade travel off until July, when I am legally free of my parental ball and chain, and he can make adult choices.


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## ali (Jan 1, 2021)

I don't have anything smart to add on this thread, but it has been interesting to read everyone's experience.

I am curious, for people who have been traveling around for 20+ years, do you think the situation has changed in certain parts of the country, or on/around the rails in general? The sense I get is that 9/11 made law enforcement crack down a lot harder on travelers in the US, and Lac-Mégantic had a similar impact in Canada (specifically with regard to railroad security). Out where I am the pipeline protests also seem to have made the cops a bit more hardass when it comes to trespassing.


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## Beegod Santana (Jan 1, 2021)

I would definitely go with the truck if it was me. As long as yall ain't riding dirty there won't be much a cop can really say about the situation. You're on a road trip with your son to check out the places you used to hangout when you where his age. Nothing shady about that. Train riding though makes it a lot more complicated. With the truck you could even go check out crew change towns and let him get a feel for how it all connects before you actually do hit the rails.


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## Beegod Santana (Jan 1, 2021)

ali said:


> I am curious, for people who have been traveling around for 20+ years, do you think the situation has changed in certain parts of the country, or on/around the rails in general?


I'd say in general everything sucks a little more than it used to. The west coast especially is a joke compared to what it was in the early 2000's, but, it's still pretty fun. The economy and opiate/meth epidemics have resulted in a lot more homeless people, which naturally results in more harassment for everyone. While it's always been a problem in the traveler community, it seems like kids do heroin and meth like they used to drink 40's these days. Before 2010 I only knew of a few people who had od'd and they were all people you'd sadly kinda expect it from. In the last 10 years though it seems like at least half my old traveler friends have died from drugs. Lots of them I personally had never seen use a hard drug so to hear they'd died was quite a shock.


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## FawnGone (Jan 1, 2021)

ali said:


> I don't have anything smart to add on this thread, but it has been interesting to read everyone's experience.
> 
> I am curious, for people who have been traveling around for 20+ years, do you think the situation has changed in certain parts of the country, or on/around the rails in general? The sense I get is that 9/11 made law enforcement crack down a lot harder on travelers in the US, and Lac-Mégantic had a similar impact in Canada (specifically with regard to railroad security). Out where I am the pipeline protests also seem to have made the cops a bit more hardass when it comes to trespassing.


I'm also interested in this... However, I was riding right before 911 and directly after, mostly 1999-2002, so I remember the intense security crackdowns happening then and how nervous everyone was... Yet nothing happened to us, even in yards notoriously bad, like Havre. But I always chalked it up to sheer luck.
I am curious about how security has intensified since then, and the main thing I can see is cellphones, cameras, and drones (esp foamers)... I'd love to go on a couple trips with someone with more recent experience, to get my legs back and learn more updated stuff.


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## FawnGone (Jan 1, 2021)

Beegod Santana said:


> I would definitely go with the truck if it was me. As long as yall ain't riding dirty there won't be much a cop can really say about the situation. You're on a road trip with your son to check out the places you used to hangout when you where his age. Nothing shady about that. Train riding though makes it a lot more complicated. With the truck youo could even go check out crew change towns and let him get a feel for how it all connects before you actually do hit the rails.


Definitely was thinking of driving to scope out the yards if we take the truck, and talking to old friends I'm linking up with who have more recent experience riding in that area.
Plus, if we have clean clothes and no packs, we can wander around pretending to be noob railfans and try to get some info. I've done that once before and it works pretty well, actually.


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## Matt Derrick (Jan 2, 2021)

ali said:


> I don't have anything smart to add on this thread, but it has been interesting to read everyone's experience.
> 
> I am curious, for people who have been traveling around for 20+ years, do you think the situation has changed in certain parts of the country, or on/around the rails in general? The sense I get is that 9/11 made law enforcement crack down a lot harder on travelers in the US, and Lac-Mégantic had a similar impact in Canada (specifically with regard to railroad security). Out where I am the pipeline protests also seem to have made the cops a bit more hardass when it comes to trespassing.


i definitely think this is worth discussing, but it should probably be done in it's own dedicated thread.


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