# Schwillam/Sirius/Dru/Sean/Audio/What the fuck Ever.



## beersalt (Jul 23, 2018)

Alright folks.. it's taken me awhile. But, this kid- who is also a user on this forum needs to be known about. I travelled with this feller for 9 months straight. We went our separate ways almost a year ago..

I post this as a warning to all of those in this community, for he is predatory, and not to be trusted. ESPECIALLY if you are a new female bodied traveller on the road. During the beginning of my travels, I found this person to be extremely unstable, sexist, and mentally/physically abusive not only to me, but to animals as well.

I initially met this kid, while housing him, and a few other kids and their dogs up. The next day- I left with them, and my whole life changed.. and I fell in love; eventually. I stayed for the long run, mostly because of his dog, which is now in my posession- and doing better than ever. Other users on this forum Will be able to vouch for the manipulative factors they encountered due to my ignorance, and intense feelings...

He's in favor of hazing people due to being "green", and also tried to tell me about MY sexuality. Claiming im a girl, and that people will ONLY like me because of my genitalia, and without him, and his experience I WOULD be raped. Scare tactics are his favorite. (Surprising, since he has so many feminist posts on this website.) I have seen this person try to persuade 17 year old girls into motel rooms over, and over again- after them explaining that they did not want too.

This person is now 23 years old at least, has "Dope Sick" on their knuckles, as well as HFPF (which we are working on changing) , and squidbillies fore-arm tattoos.

This person locked me in a motel room in North Dakota, after consistently trying to convince me to tell my parents lies in order for them to fund him sleeping comfortably. While we were here, he proceeded to tell me to "try" and leave after punching me in the mouth for the second night in a row. This time, due to him not liking how I was wearing my "skank" around my neck.. as I began to pack my things, and leave him in the room via my own vehicle, he got on top of me, and punched me in the face multiple times, making me see stars. I fought back, getting one up on him, punching him in the head, and back of lower neck where he always claimed to have sculiosis. This was when he claimed mercy, and We continued travelling together for another month. I had a mighty shiner for two and a half weeks, as well as other bruising along my face.

We fled to a national rainbow gathering in OR, as I tried to find another way for him to become sober from alcohol, and try to maintain his schizophrenic, and bi-polar tendencies. He left me in portland, to try and teach another person from abroad how to travel in the US better, supposedly.. He never said goodbye to his dog, and it was a deal between the two of us that I would not be solo without her; claiming to meet back up with each other after a month. (This was all to try to coerce another "green traveller from out of the country to fund his addiction, and abuse.")

Later, I was posted on the "untrustworthy and shady people" forum by a lady I had nothing to do with, but supposedly had sold the dog (meeka) to Sirius and wanted her back. Sirius had given this lady my information here on squat the planet, where she harassed me, and tried to slander me by saying I stole her dog. He also has spread fucked lies by telling at least one person that has contacted me that I raped him during the entire relationship we had. All of these accusations are false. And this person, due to many days, hours, and miles spent is a compulsive, lying, sociopath. Please, do not believe the shit he says.

He has openly claimed lying about his experience to other travellers in order to mooch off of their company, and is EXTREMELY unstable. If there are any further questions, feel free to message me respectavley. Beware of this guy, and know, he is extremely active within this community. And also has ties to black bear ranch.

Thanks for reading.. People can seem massively different online. Just be careful out there, and don't ignore red flags, as I did in the past. Predators are not welcome in this community.

Safe travels

His user name on StP is @Shwillam


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## AAAutin (Jul 24, 2018)

Appalling; I'm sorry you had to endure that.


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## Dmac (Jul 24, 2018)

Wow, I hope you’re doing better now.


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## beersalt (Jul 24, 2018)

Me too, but it's over now! Best thing to do is just warn people, hopefully less heartache to be had for others. @AAAutin 

I'm doing fucking great, now. @Dmac


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## roughdraft (Jul 24, 2018)

appreciate the writeup. definitely not trying to be exposed to this type of behavior


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## MacnGs (Jul 24, 2018)

What’s so bad about BBR? Never heard of it?


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## Matt Derrick (Jul 24, 2018)

MacnGs said:


> What’s so bad about BBR? Never heard of it?



i don't think they were implying anything was wrong with BBR, just that they have been a guest there.


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## Coywolf (Jul 24, 2018)

Wow, are we talking about the same user that used to be NotSoSirius?

I talked to that dude alot in here and he seemed like a good dude. Shit.

I'm sorry you had to endure that....


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## beersalt (Jul 24, 2018)

@MacnGs I have no experience at Black Bear Ranch, but I've met a few people that have been involved. It's actually a place that has peaked my interest in visitng, aside from the fact that Sirius is apparently deemed as a "resident" (so I've been told) which means he can go, and stay there whenever he pleases, for however long. Therefore, I express caution if you embark. Just good knowledge to have.


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## Eng JR Lupo RV323 (Jul 25, 2018)

Coywolf said:


> I talked to that dude alot in here and he seemed like a good dude. Shit.
> 
> I'm sorry you had to endure that....



Wolves in sheep's clothing, man. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, it's definitely not a new gimmick. I'm sure you've seen the act before.


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## Deleted member 14481 (Jul 25, 2018)

I'm sorry you went through that, and thank you for telling us!


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## loathsomeginger (Jul 30, 2018)

Thanks for sharing.


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## Silver Trampstar (Aug 10, 2018)

Just saw one of his posts in making a living, hes active on the site


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## Matt Derrick (Aug 10, 2018)

Silver Trampstar said:


> Just saw one of his posts in making a living, hes active on the site



he hasn't logged in for nearly a month before this thread was posted.


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## Des (Sep 3, 2018)

Schwilliam was just in PDX, hanging around the camps in Chapman square. Think they got run out and are headed towards Black Bear. This kids done a whole lot more fucked up stuff than just whats in this post. Greenlit for sure


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## Des (Sep 3, 2018)

They're also frequenting anarchist spaces and circles under the guise that their an experienced organizer. Their security culture is absolute trash and its led to a few inexperienced, vulnerable people getting put into some extremely dangerous situations. Seriously, fuck this guy


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## Des (Sep 10, 2018)

Dudes back in PDX


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## beersalt (Sep 14, 2018)

Not surprised by any of this. He usually hangs in the West. Thanks for updating peeps. @Desert


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## LeeenPocket (Oct 1, 2018)

Can totally vouch for this manipulative and super aggressive behavior. Traveled with him for a few weeks a couple years back and had to eventually part ways because it was just too fucking much. 

I'm so glad you got the fuck away from him @dumpsternavel . I remember a conversation we had around the campfire in the desert but we were all so drunk on 10 high and baby food (lol) and I was so preoccupied with my own stupid bullshit. I should have paid better attention to you. I'm sorry for not being there for you then. I know it was at the time just discussing polyamory but I can remember glimpses of you trying to bring up Sirius' problematic behavior and me just being a drunk asshole trying to have 2 conversations at once cuz well...u know. Ugh...I'm sorry dude. But I'm so glad you're safe. I knew you weren't traveling together anymore, but I never knew it was this bad. Fuck that punk ass motherfucker. He was such an agro pos.


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## Shwillam (Dec 29, 2018)

You folks know me. I was and am a toxic person. I have been around the community both traveling and activist, and I want to clear some things up. 
Firstly, I am unsafe, unstable, and not reliable. I am an addict and an abuser. I am regretful, to say the least, that this is what I became.
It starts way back when, I had destroyed all ties with my family with a terrible addiction to oxycodone at 16 that quickly escalated to a full force heroin addiction by the age of 19. I have been broken for a long time. Between the dis-morphia and a terrible affinity for immediate gratification I had ran along the same toxic and awful coarse as many of my family down the road of addiction. It is something I have inflicted onto folks that have loved me since a young age.
I have no excuses.
I have many regrets.
At the end of the day heres the truth. I have had no coping mechanism in this world, and being the weak, cowardly, fake person I am, took others suffering to my own gain. I abused, shamed, misgendered, ilegitimatized, lied to, and shut down people who loved me so I could feel better about my awful self. Everything Dragon has told the community about me is true. Probably more. 
Since I began having interpersonal relationships with folks, looking back, theyve always had a toxic quality to them. Any relationship I have had has resulted in the other party or myself (less often than not) experiencing traumatic circumstances. 
Again, for this I have no excuse.
None.
None...
All I can possibly do is try and be better. I accept what comes to me, both in physical ramifications and the isolation. Theres so many questions that deserved to be answered, and many truths that deserved to be told. All I want is for my victims, my survivors, to tell their stories and to not allow my behaviors go unchecked or without accountability. If youve heard something about me, its probably true. If you want to know, ask me, if you feel safe to. 
In the last few months here in PDX ive tried to be accountable to the community, but I see its time for me to come out publicly about these accusations. 
They are true.
Believe survivors.
I am sorry. 

I am trying to be better, both for my own health and that of our community. I dont expect forgiveness, nor acceptance, I merely want to offer myself in any capacity I can to both the folks I have directly harmed, and those who have been harmed by folks like me.
Im sorry, to everyone who ever loved me. Who ever took a second out of their day for me, who gave up everything for me. I will never be able to heal that trama I caused to you, and for that, I deserve whatever comes to me, and I will keep trying to be better.

-Dru/Schwillam/Sirius/Audio/Andrew Bolen.


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## Deleted member 16034 (Dec 29, 2018)

Wait I'm confused, if this is really Sirius/NotSoSirius then why isn't it posted under their account?


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## Shwillam (Dec 29, 2018)

i couldnt remember my login, its me...


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## Eng JR Lupo RV323 (Dec 30, 2018)

Well, you _talk_ a swell one. It'll be interesting to see if it's just lip service or you actually better yourself. I don't know you personally, I'm just chiming in because I've seen manipulators use this same step before. It's their last ditch effort hail Mary throw. When all other cards have been played then they throw down the big dramatic apology about wanting to change this this and that but two months down the road they're the same cunt and two months after that they're writing up another fancy "heartfelt" apology. 

Again, not saying that's you. Just saying I've seen this portion of it forged before by manipulators. It'd be pretty rad if you actually evolved into something better rather than just telling everyone you're going to. I guess it's your actions now that'll reveal how worthy this post is.


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## Shwillam (Dec 30, 2018)

Engineer J Lupo said:


> Well, you _talk_ a swell one. It'll be interesting to see if it's just lip service or you actually better yourself. I don't know you personally, I'm just chiming in because I've seen manipulators use this same step before. It's their last ditch effort hail Mary throw. When all other cards have been played then they throw down the big dramatic apology about wanting to change this this and that but two months down the road they're the same cunt and two months after that they're writing up another fancy "heartfelt" apology.
> 
> Again, not saying that's you. Just saying I've seen this portion of it forged before by manipulators. It'd be pretty rad if you actually evolved into something better rather than just telling everyone you're going to. I guess it's your actions now that'll reveal how worthy this post is.



Fair. I'll certainly let y'all be the judge of that. I honestly dont know what else to say, other than im open and available for any questions/accountability i can possibly offer at this point. I honestly have no clue what accountability looks like, and it seems that neither does the community in PDX. I know i can never make things right, I just want to be better moving forward, unpack and address the root causes of my behavior, and try to be better. Again, idk what else to say other than i accept whats coming to me, and in the mean time, ill try and be as good of a person to whomever i can.
Idk if i have the spoons to keep checking this site, Im already greenlit, fairly enough, and im trying to remove myself as much possible from dirty kid and safe spaces in PDX that dont want me, while also facilitating spaces in which it is very obvious and known of my past, and the free associations is of informed consent. I am currently involved with the above ground queer/trans activist group Wont Be Erased PDX here in Portland, whom anyone can contact directly about my abuse. I currently live in a punk/queer space called The Nooch House in the PDX area and my roommates are very apart of the process of accountability upon their own free will and informed consent.

At the end of the day, im an abuser. Period. For what its worth, im sorry. Im trying to never inflict that behavior on anyone ever again. Theres nothing I can ever do to fix this.
Nothing.


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## Shwillam (Dec 30, 2018)

the thread about me is called Schwillam/Sirius for anyone who wants to look it up.
Again, truth.
believe survivors.


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## Shwillam (Dec 30, 2018)

Also, without outing anyone, i acknowledge my other survivors who have not been as outspoken as Dragon. You are seen, i am sorry. Ill never try and contact you, ill be a ghost as much as i am able. Im sorry.


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## beersalt (Dec 30, 2018)

Hahahaha, well truthfully bucko- you're already going through "the steps of rehabilitation" wrong. First, you should reach out to the ones you've fucked with personally, and individually. Not post a huge apology letter to the masses of people thay don't even know what the fuck you're talking about. 

Boohoo. You had my simpathy in the past, but never again with your lame ballads of explanation, and excuses. Still, your waisting people's precious time. Doesn't seem like you've changed a bit.


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## roughdraft (Dec 30, 2018)

I don't know you but I'd say it's technically a testament to your character to admit wrongdoing no matter how profound and widespread it has been. most people i have found won't. i like to think it's possible to turn over a new leaf but it's surely a dicey topic regardless

this is an unbiased opinion


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## Shwillam (Dec 30, 2018)

I thought you told folks to tell me not to contact you. 

idk what else to do at this point, im trying to be open and honest to the larger community and seeing that the majority of the abuse that came to light came from a post on this site I figured it was a good place to address folks who may not of wanted me to contact them directly.


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## cbeansprout (Dec 31, 2018)

I will say that I have seen in your recent behavior and demeanor a change that is significant, though I don't know what it means. But it is isn't my business anymore to evaluate your character. I don't know who the fuck you are, I just don't want you to hurt anyone else the way you hurt me or anyone else. Whatever way that happens. 

It does take courage to put this out there, so at least there's that.


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## Jo jo Joseph Mims (Jan 9, 2019)

Engineer J Lupo said:


> Well, you _talk_ a swell one. It'll be interesting to see if it's just lip service or you actually better yourself. I don't know you personally, I'm just chiming in because I've seen manipulators use this same step before. It's their last ditch effort hail Mary throw. When all other cards have been played then they throw down the big dramatic apology about wanting to change this this and that but two months down the road they're the same cunt and two months after that they're writing up another fancy "heartfelt" apology.
> 
> Again, not saying that's you. Just saying I've seen this portion of it forged before by manipulators. It'd be pretty rad if you actually evolved into something better rather than just telling everyone you're going to. I guess it's your actions now that'll reveal how worthy this post is.


Yes. Hope for the best... but, yes... all too often just this... be more than this Andrew, you, like anyone, can be and do anything you choose to


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## Ringo (Jan 29, 2019)

ToThoseIHaveHarmed said:


> I thought you told folks to tell me not to contact you.
> 
> idk what else to do at this point, im trying to be open and honest to the larger community and seeing that the majority of the abuse that came to light came from a post on this site I figured it was a good place to address folks who may not of wanted me to contact them directly.


Ignore the people who want to discredit you. If you are genuine, simply have faith in yourself and know that your actions will speak for themselves and nobody will have to wonder anymore. I believe people can change, and acknowledging your mistakes is step number one. But this is only the stupid fukn interweb, Don’t expect anyone to believe until you show them. Best Wishes.


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## Oddy (Feb 6, 2019)

So hey, I'm the "foreign green" as sirius put it. I met him two years ago in nor-cal whilst travelling round the states for 3 months. Myself, my best friend and him went to black bear together and he presented himself as a super nice, wholesome traveller who wanted all the same things as me and I (like a mug) fell for it. I also fell in love with black bear and we agreed that I would go home because my visa was up and I'd come back in a couple months. Before I left he begged for a dog so he wouldn't be lonely, I paid $60 for him to have Mika. Not long after I left he was kicked out of the ranch for being a waste of fucking space. He then started travelling with the OP and would ghost me for months at a time. I knew something weird was going on but every time we spoke there were excuses and " I love you"s. He even sent me pictures of the OPs black eyes claiming that she was in love with him and they were having drunk fights. When I told him the whole situation was too fucked up he said they went their separate ways. I arrived back in America soon after to find out he was with the OP the day before and that he had left Mika with her. For the first month I was back went hitched pointlessly with no goal and I paid for motels every night (costing me about $2000) because he needed to be somewhere safe, so he could quit drinking which he never did. He spent the rest of my money on booze and if he didn't get his way he'd claim he could see demons or that he was suicidal. Thankfully I managed to get in touch with a close friend from black bear and she met up with us so I didn't have to deal with it alone. However I found out that he was still talking to the OP and when I confronted him about it he said that she had raped him and that she was the one who made him start drinking so much, so that she could abuse him. He told me he loved me and wanted to come to England with me, so he got his grandparents (who are rich as fuck) to buy him tickets claiming he was turning his life around and was going to make them proud. So we came to the UK where he continued to drink and became ever more abusive, stealing from my friends and family and treating my van like shit (who the fuck leaves 6 different bottles of piss lying around?!) He got himself another dog (Rupert) in england, that he couldn't take care of because he'd rather drink every penny he made. So the dog got ill and suddenly he was cool with it being my dog, unless we had an argument, then he'd try to run off with it so I'd come after him. Eventually my parents stepped in and bought him a ticket back to the US and he agreed to go. He got drunk on the way to the airport, tried to run off with the dog again, tired to fight my dad and got put on the floor. When the police turned up he wanted them to take the dog to the pound, so if he couldn't have it, I couldn't either. The police ended up escorting me, the dog and my dad away and that's the last I saw of him. 

This dude is fucked up, he will say anything to get his way. He will try to conn everyone around him, steal from you and yours and turn nasty if he gets caught out. Female bodied folks should avoid him like the plague and NOBODY should ever give or sell him a dog. 

I'm so glad the OP and Mika are safe and well, me and Rupert are doing so much better without him in our lives too.


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## Oddy (Feb 6, 2019)

This is such a load of bollocks, a pathetic cry for attention and attempt to make yourself the victim. Every single one of the people you have screwed over have heard this whole speech a thousand times before. We don't feel sorry for you. Someone said it's a testament to your character that you admit you've done wrong, but they haven't heard it all before and then had to put up with the same shit again.

Anyone who actually knows this kids will be eye rolling so fucking hard at this post. Weak.


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## Mada (Feb 7, 2019)

an apology is not saying you did bad things and then saying you want to be better. To apologize one must actually become the change and do better by helping others, once you have helped enough others then a real change will occur within you. Then those you have hurt will appear in front of you so you can speak the apology and they will have the chance to accept or deny it. By posting this nonsense thread you are repeating past actions and seeking permission to do it again.... Stop posting nonsense on the internet and get yourself better. I see myself in your words, and what I write now is me talking to myself. If you find some truth in what im saying then Im glad I could help. 
Peace, Love, and Get Well soon


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## Oddy (Feb 7, 2019)

And one more thing, because I really can't believe that this dude is pulling such a dramatic sob story. This kid hasn't cut all ties with his family, his mum pays for him to have motel rooms and takeout pizza when he doesn't have a woman in his life to leech off. His grandparents are insanely rich and not only paid for him to come to England with me last year, but also paid the deposit and first month's rent on an apartment in SoCal when he flew back to the US after he'd drained me and family. 

Schwilliam (even the name screams that you're still exactly the same) you are STILL lying, even in this supposed apology. You're full of shit, get a grip.


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## Matt Derrick (Feb 7, 2019)

so just to let everyone know, I've merged the 'tothoseiveharmed' and 'shwillam' accounts, and combined both the threads about this person into one thread. all the posts are still in chronological order; I've just combined them so it's easier for folks to find all the relevant information about this person.


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## beersalt (Feb 9, 2019)

I smell oogle..


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## Raquel2018 (Feb 25, 2019)

This person was living at the house I stay at and their same behavior stemmed it's ugly head, they are using heroin and drinking heavily again. They threw a punch at me and as a collective group the whole house made them leave today, that fucker shwilliam hasn't changed. They are manipulating and can't be trusted!


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## beersalt (Feb 25, 2019)

What he really needs is a brutal beat down, it seems.
Apparentally he's been hit in the face with a smiley once, already.. Looks like that scumfuck needs his goddamn teeth knocked out to really have a reason for a liquid diet.


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## Des (Feb 25, 2019)

Raquel2018 said:


> This person was living at the house I stay at and their same behavior stemmed it's ugly head, they are using heroin and drinking heavily again. They threw a punch at me and as a collective group the whole house made them leave today, that fucker shwilliam hasn't changed. They are manipulating and can't be trusted!


Cant forget praying on someone way younger than them


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## HitchBiker (Feb 25, 2019)

I was thinking it was pretty gross they were the one raising funds on Facebook for such housing projects in PDX given their track record. Hopefully it's their last bridge burned and they just fuck off.


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## EphemeralStick (Feb 25, 2019)

Wow @Engineer J Lupo, you were right on the money.



Engineer J Lupo said:


> but two months down the road they're the same cunt and two months after that they're writing up another fancy "heartfelt" apology.


Almost two months exactly.

Furthermore,



Raquel2018 said:


> This person was living at the house I stay at and their same behavior stemmed it's ugly head, they are using heroin and drinking heavily again. They threw a punch at me and as a collective group the whole house made them leave today, that fucker shwilliam hasn't changed. They are manipulating and can't be trusted!



So that's the other side of the story. He's been acting like a bleeding heart all over facebook. I figured some sort of falling out happened.

On the topic that @BikePunky brought up, @Raquel2018 have you guys been getting the money he's been raising on Facebook for y'alls house? Or is that a scam as well?


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## Des (Feb 28, 2019)

Word on the street is dudes been run out of town but not before trying to steal their housemates gun and running off on some wingnut ass conspiracies that are hella toxic. @Raquel2018 could probably go into a bit more detail


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## Oddy (Feb 28, 2019)

Raquel2018 said:


> This person was living at the house I stay at and their same behavior stemmed it's ugly head, they are using heroin and drinking heavily again. They threw a punch at me and as a collective group the whole house made them leave today, that fucker shwilliam hasn't changed. They are manipulating and can't be trusted!


He is a spoilt brat and will not change. I'm sorry you had to deal with that and glad the people around you had your back. Don't give him anymore chances.


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## Oddy (Feb 28, 2019)

BikePunky said:


> I was thinking it was pretty gross they were the one raising funds on Facebook for such housing projects in PDX given their track record. Hopefully it's their last bridge burned and they just fuck off.


What's he doing on Facebook? Can you link it here? Sounds dodgy...


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## NotATragedy (Feb 28, 2019)

Oddy said:


> What's he doing on Facebook? Can you link it here? Sounds dodgy...



This person seems to have deactivated his facebook account last night, so nothing can be linked. 

There are some people who would really like to speak with him about the recent death of his roommate.


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## roughdraft (Feb 28, 2019)

Des said:


> Word on the street is dudes been run out of town but not before trying to steal their housemates gun and running off on some wingnut ass conspiracies that are hella toxic. @Raquel2018 could probably go into a bit more detail



damn, you're good people for sharing this. what a spunion


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## Des (Feb 28, 2019)

NotATragedy said:


> This person seems to have deactivated his facebook account last night, so nothing can be linked.
> 
> There are some people who would really like to speak with him about the recent death of his roommate.


Dudes on some wingnut shit about the death of their roommate. My partner lived at that house for a bit for some fucking reason. Hes just trying to freak people out and be a fuck head


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## Oddy (Mar 1, 2019)

NotATragedy said:


> This person seems to have deactivated his facebook account last night, so nothing can be linked.
> 
> There are some people who would really like to speak with him about the recent death of his roommate.


Is that true?


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## cannahavabite (Mar 1, 2019)

"Andrew Bolen" may be off Facebook but he still admins a page called Won't Be Erased https://www.facebook.com/WontBeErasedPortland/ he should be recognized for the fraud he is. other names he used in PDX are "Dru" and "Gnar".


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## Anagor (Mar 2, 2019)

Just one thought I wanna chip in ...

Drug addiction is no excuse for being an asshole.

I don't do what normally is referred to as drugs (I like to drink and I'm a nicotine addict, weed rarely) but I met many people in the last years who have a serious heroine habit/addiction.

Some of them became best friends I would trust with my life!

So on the one hand it is wrong to think _you should never trust a junkie_. On the other hand trying to excuse being an asshole with drug addiction is also not really valid.

Just my 2 cents ...


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## Eng JR Lupo RV323 (Mar 2, 2019)

@EphemeralStick Yeah looks like I may have been right, hey? That's really unfortunate, I would have rather been wrong for everyone else's sake.

You got a bad name guy, I wouldn't wanna be ya. I guess that's why you got half a dozen or more names though innit? Burn bridges as Dru, guess I'll become Sean. Prey on underaged girls, yikes I better change my name to Audio and hopefully I'll shake that off. Burn another bridge, guess I'm Schwilliam now. Oh shit, fucked over someone else, maybe if I go by Serius my reputation won't follow me. It isn't working, Jack. Wrong fucking community, your time's up!


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## Alaska John (Mar 4, 2019)

I can def agree I spent some time with this kid and a person named dragon who was his partner and queer identified back in 2016/2017 he was emotionally and verbally abusive and extremely manipulative, sexist, judgemental, and condescending 

He is a chameleon to whoever he is trying to gain the trust of but it only lasts for so long before he cant help but go back to his old ways 

Can only hope he finds sobriety and mental health treatment


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## Oddy (Mar 4, 2019)

Alaska John said:


> I can def agree I spent some time with this kid and a person named dragon who was his partner and queer identified back in 2016/2017 he was emotionally and verbally abusive and extremely manipulative



Yeah, dragon is the OP and I can confirm he treated them appallingly. He was in a relationship with me the whole time he was with them, and he said the most awful things about them to me and everyone he met whilst with me, even showed me pictures of their black eyes after fights and saying she was attacking him. Rather than admit to cheating he accused her of raping him (which is bullshit and @dumpsternavel I hope you don't mind me mentioning it). He always tries to find a way to manipulate every situation, to never to any responsibility for his actions, regardless of how much it hurts or endangers others.


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## Des (Mar 6, 2019)

Dudes still hiding out around portland. Last I heard in Lake Oswego


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## cbeansprout (Apr 30, 2019)

He was just spotted in downtown portland last night.


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## marmar (Jun 8, 2019)

Whoa just reading all of the above made me think the dude is a typical psychopath. Really wise folk are the ones not buying his dramatic apologies post. Which was just wow, so typical of psycos like him. Seen all that before. For people who haven't tho, it can be tricky to recognize, psychopaths can manipulate people ingeniously. Not to sound like a doctor lol. Just glad this thread exists.


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## qstp (Jun 10, 2019)

new to the forum (hi all), i lurk many places, not much of a poster anywhere.

noticed this rider Security Check Required - https://www.facebook.com/schwill.will posting on the yearly rg fb thread here Security Check Required - https://www.facebook.com/groups/719301678241309/

same or no?


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## beersalt (Sep 14, 2019)

I also remember him using a facebook account under the name Andrew Supertramp, which still exists- but doesn't necessarily seem active.


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## VariedValue (Sep 21, 2019)

Before I start, I would like to recognize their victims and say that I relate a lot with some of the experiences I have read with my own abusers. I am sincerely sorry you had to go through that. I am in no way trying to excuse Gnars (that's the most recent name I know them by) actions or invalidate anyone's opinion of them. I just want to share my personal experience.
I have personally known this person on a few occasions over the years. I even think I bumped into them when they were with the OP but it was quick if it did happen. Theyve been several different people since I've known them. Dramatically different. I actually went to the tale end of middle school and briefly went to highschool with them before they dropped out, we hung out for a decent amount of time and stayed in touch and met up a few times over the years. We grew up in the same area. I reconnected with them most recently when they moved back to Florida. We've been talking a bit, and they actually introduced me to this website (by showing me the post about them.) So I guess in total I've known them for 9 or 10 years on and off. They introduced me to the idea of being a traveler, radical politics, punk rock, and it'd be unfair to say they haven't been an influence in my life. Though I have to say many times they popped into my life were quite brief. They never stayed put or with one idea for long. When we met, it was in a very small town. They were infamous for wearing makeup to school and coming to school with black eyes and scraped up knuckles from fights they got into after they got off the bus and walked home. I can personally attest to seeing them getting absolutely beaten to a pulp on the side of a rural road by 4 or 5 kids when they were 15 or 16. They got shit from absolutely everyone. They wore the same clothes to school everyday, a studded patch jacket someone had helped them put together that they would routinely get in trouble for because of a patch that said "fuck racism" for the profanity. Other patches reflected other shocking (for the town we lived in) imagery and a feminine demeanor that got them bullied more and more by the rednecks we grew up around. I remember them moving to California for a year and being a lot more quiet and antisocial then they were when they left, which they already were already pretty quiet unless you asked them anything about radical politics or punk rock or drugs. They knew a lot and we're really passionate about that stuff. They organized a group of kids to harass the army recruiter in our lunchroom. All this made them stick out like a sore thumb in our small town. I remember them getting into a lot of scraps with the rednecks and getting suspended a lot for it. When highschool started they barely came to school and fell in with some of the ecstasy kids at our school. I remember hearing about them getting arrested and disappearing from the social scene for a while and when I saw then again they were strung out on oxys, which were huge in our area. I remember them talking to me about going to Georgia to get away from the drugs and they disappeared again for a while. When they came back the next time they were with their at time partner and another dirty kid and told a bunch of stories about meeting these "traveling punks who live the Johnny hobo thing" in Savannah, Georgia and that they were going to learn how to hop freight trains and had already done a bit of hitchhiking. They disappeared quick again after that. When I heard from them again was two years later and they were strung out in Texas. They had been through a lot and we're not strung out on heroin. They asked me for money which they had never done before. I didn't have any and they quickly got off the phone. It was a different type of conversation I'd ever had with them. They had always been lively and almost annoyingly at times wanting to help start or complete a project. This person sounded tired and was quick to get to the point and then scram when they couldn't get some cash. They disappeared for a while that time. When I heard from/saw them again was when they had gotten back from England 2 winter's ago and ended up back in Florida. 
When they got back from England they were a FUCKING MESS. But not the junkie way they'd been before. This person was completely broken and knew they'd done wrong. They talked to me about the OP and Emily (I think her name is) from the UK and the way they played both of those people. They told me about a lot of the toxic and abusive things they've done. Then they disappeared again. 

This is the part I wanted to get to. Sorry for the scattered back story I just want people to know my extent of being around this kid.
So they recently came back into my life about a month ago when they came back to this part of the world. Weve been talking a lot since they came back. I was introduced to this site by them showing me the thread about them, told me a lot of things over the hours I've been playing therapist (by choice) for them and I just wanted to share a few things I feel about them.
This person is an abuser, they're the first one to admit that. However, I have personally never seen an abuser work this hard to become a better person.
They truly seem to have empathy and love for a lot of the people they harmed that were close to them. 
I'm not saying this kid deserves any type of "second chance" with those they harmed or that people shouldn't be warned about them but I don't think ignoring growth or a wanting to be better as constructive, or insinuating that this person should be "green lit" when despite all the toxic shit I've seen this kid capable of they've been the only person to put themselves in the middle of me and a groups of rednecks trying to queer bash me and get significantly hurt only to do it again without question. If I was judged on only the horrible things I've done id be held to the same light as them. I've certainly, being raised in the south, been guilty of my own absuive and toxic behavior. Some very similar to Gnars actions. This cancel culture isn't helping anyone. And too many comrades are dying due to its isolating effects.


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## Eng JR Lupo RV323 (Sep 22, 2019)

Nice try Gnar/Schwilliam/Dru/Sean/Larry/Gabe/audios/watever the fuck.


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## VariedValue (Sep 22, 2019)

At what?
Maybe my scattered attempt at typing out all my thoughts on my phone while on a bit of lsd didn't come off properly? Idk what exactly you're trying to get at here?


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## roughdraft (Sep 22, 2019)

that's some interesting shit @VariedValue i respect yr take

that said i have someone similar in my immediate family and gosh i just dunno.... it's like a fantasy that they'll get better.... 

i mean, no offense i love that you were defended from being queerbashed, but this is also the thing "these people", manipulative abusers, operate on - they get people to believe in their good sides so that they can effectively 'leech'. ive had others in my life at different times the same way to lesser extents as well

all im sayin is don't blow your little slice of life called personal experience out of proportion...rose colored glasses...self presentation bias....do you follow?


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## Eng JR Lupo RV323 (Sep 22, 2019)

I was just bustin yer balls more or less. It seems like something "Gnar" would have done. Made yet another profile trying to make themselves look like they're not as bad as they used to be. But yeah.. I mean that all sucks. Sucks their life had so much hardship and pain, sucks they were bullied and all the rest of it. But doesn't it seem like someone who's been through all that type of stuff would try really hard to be a good person to people rather than repeat cycles and in many cases be even more of a dickbag than those who mistreated them? I just don't think it makes any difference to hear your side of it. It doesn't justify being a fucking chump so routinely.


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## beersalt (Sep 23, 2019)

Yeah, almost seems like he fucking coached you in writing that shit.
@VariedValue
I've heard everything you said about "knowing this guy, and his experiences"
From the assholes mouth himself.

It doesn't matter if people come to the defense of others only to abuse the people they once claimed to defend. Over, and over again.

That doesn't make you radical, it makes you a hypocrite. A poser. A piece of fucking shit. This thread was posted to warn people, and to bring to light not to trust people just because you heard them say the right words that one time.

And just because you are personally from the south, does not mean that you should expect yourself to have beat multiple female bodied individuals, hold animals against people, and psychologically manipulate people for the sake of CAPITAL. FOR COMFORT AT OTHERS EXPENSE

You wanna come to a repeat abusers defense? Kick rocks.


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## salxtina (Sep 24, 2019)

Just gonna link this here, with attention called especially to Chapter 2 ("The Mythology") and Chapter 11 ("Allies").
https://squattheplanet.com/files/why-does-he-do-that.481/I think it articulates, better than I can, the problems with 'therapizing' abusers, and with the idea that 'cancel culture doesn't help anyone / discourages people from changing.' It reflects I think a lot of the dynamics that people are describing here.


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## Oddy (Nov 18, 2019)

@VariedValue
Hi, I'm Emily...
Well, that all sounds lovely and sincere. But here's the thing, he's not a lovely person. I fucking glad he was a mess when he got back from England, because I was fucking ruined, he leeched every last penny from me, caused me to loose friends because he stole from them and lied and tried to have my dog put in the pound out of spite and nastiness. Meanwhile his mama, nan and pops paid for him to land on his feet, yet again. Yes he was sad, boo fucking hoo. He was sad because I was his meal ticket to saying he was a "world traveller" not just a bum, and he lost me. I couldn't give less of a shit if he got bullied, he has done his fair share of bullying. I don't care that he saved you once, he ruined me and countless other people. I don't care that he wants to be better, because I've heard it ALL before. If he really wants to be better he can send me the £2k he owes me and buy the OP a new fucking car... Yeah fucking right 😂


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## valentine (May 19, 2020)

Met the guy in slabs Changed his name again(gnar/phoenix). Showed up with the pirates to tear down the camp ive been building for over a year. He was hanging at the ponderosa. He showed up Months later to weakly apologize and got dealt with. Then he stabbed his friend Turkey in the leg and got chased down the street while screaming for someone to call the cops. That was Jan 2020

Havent seen him since. Fuck this guy


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## roughdraft (May 19, 2020)

valentine said:


> Met the guy in slabs Changed his name again(gnar/phoenix). Showed up with the pirates to tear down the camp ive been building for over a year. He was hanging at the ponderosa. He showed up Months later to weakly apologize and got dealt with. Then he stabbed his friend Turkey in the leg and got chased down the street while screaming for someone to call the cops. That was Jan 2020
> 
> Havent seen him since. Fuck this guy



ho ly fuck, thanks for this post

*ding ding ding* nobody miss this


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## Des (Jul 4, 2020)

Hearing this fucker got got again recently. Think theyre in portland rn. Praying on teenagers again


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## Des (Mar 6, 2021)

Bumping this thread again for peoples safety. Schwilliam is once again in Portland and working as a manager of the subway in old town


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## wahteva (May 20, 2021)

I dont know where you heard that but dude killed himself a couple months ago from what i heard.


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## wahteva (May 20, 2021)

In fact now I know he did. Just confirmed it with someone who knew him better. Dude hung himself somewhere in southern Oregon from what I can tell.


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## Matt Derrick (May 20, 2021)

wahteva said:


> In fact now I know he did. Just confirmed it with someone who knew him better. Dude hung himself somewhere in southern Oregon from what I can tell.


please provide some kind of reference or evidence to back this claim.


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## roughdraft (May 20, 2021)

wahteva said:


> In fact now I know he did. Just confirmed it with someone who knew him better. Dude hung himself somewhere in southern Oregon from what I can tell.


no chance you know his gov't so folks might be able to find a confirmation of this online?


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## wahteva (May 20, 2021)

Like what specifically? I can see if my source is okay with me screenshoting our conversation.


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## HitchBiker (May 21, 2021)

I asked around to people who knew them from PDX and no one has heard of them dying. Many people didn’t keep in touch though.


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## Matt Derrick (May 21, 2021)

wahteva said:


> Like what specifically? I can see if my source is okay with me screenshoting our conversation.


an obituary news article would be ideal. until we get that it's all just hearsay.


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## Des (Jun 29, 2021)

BikePunky said:


> I asked around to people who knew them from the occupy camp and no one has heard of them dying. Many people didn’t keep in touch long after though.


Talked to sammich the other day and they also said people seen schwilliam at the subway in old town working night shifts. Came from E from occupy ICE


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## Des (Jun 29, 2021)

Schwilliams government name is Andrew Boleyn. No obituaries for them I could find. Someone else with that name died in September but it's not schwilliam


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## Afa161pdx (Jul 9, 2022)

Organizers from Seattle reached out to comrades in pdx asking about schwillam who was allegedly approaching groups at a mutual aid type event looking to connect and using “occupy ice” and other pdx protests as a way to show their experience.

allegedly they told the orgs up there that would be participating in the future mutual aid events but we’re not sure which ones or what groups they may be with.
Seattle organizers have been directed to this thread to look into it.


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## Des (Jul 10, 2022)

Afa161pdx said:


> Schwilliam is up in Seattle area.
> 
> Organizers from there reached out to comrades in pdx asking about them after they were approaching groups at a mutual aid type event looking to connect and using “occupy ice” and other pdx protests as a way to show their experience.
> 
> ...


I am directly connected to their survivors, as well as the roommate death 3 years ago and assisted with the logistics and aftermath of that tragedy. I was the one who originally tried to hold this monster accountable while they lied thru their teeth and went on to brutally r*pe other loved ones of mine. Nobody thought Phoenix's death was schwilliams and happened at different times. Phoenix was also a friend and comrade. Many of us believed schwilliam had killed themselves In Southern Oregon and unfortunately that appears to not be the case.

I'd respectfully ask that any further information about schwilliams whereabouts be shared with me directly before being posted on here at request of some of those directly harmed


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## Throwaway5912 (Jul 30, 2022)

Okay, i didnt want to do but i had to make an account to call out a down right lie. This is schwilliam. Look, ive always been willing to admit and take responsibility for the awful shit i did to people. I was a drunk and an addict and i was abusive to multiple people and partners. But i have NEVER raped, sexually assaulted, or anything of the like, i have never even been accused of that til now. You are purposefully twisting the story and straight up making shit up. I have never raped anyone, i have never been accused of raping anyone til that post above me that im responding to. Also, encouraging me to kill myself really shows where your heart lies. You never wanted to see me get better or grow, you want me dead. Sorry bud. Im sober now, living a good life, and am still doing a lot of work on myself. Im not going to go into it here, because its not the place, but im a completely different person than I was those years ago.

I understand people are still upset and angry, but spreading false information is just straight up wrong. Anyone who reads this in the future, yes, i was an abusive asshole. 99.9% of the things in OPs post happened exactly like they said they did. Noone has ever said i raped them. This is false info.

Also idk where this shit about me killing myself is coming from, but i havent, and i dont plan to.

I have no issues taking responsibility for the things i did, but calling me a rapist is unacceptable and completely false.


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## Des (Jul 30, 2022)

You are a fucking rapist. Full stop. My partner of multiple years is a vocal survivor against you.

You have been accused multiple times of this, I have said it directly to your face you disgusting piece of shit. Don't try to lie your way out of it agaon


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## mossball (Jul 30, 2022)

Throwaway5912 said:


> Okay, i didnt want to do but i had to make an account to call out a down right lie. This is schwilliam. Look, ive always been willing to admit and take responsibility for the awful shit i did to people. I was a drunk and an addict and i was abusive to multiple people and partners. But i have NEVER raped, sexually assaulted, or anything of the like, i have never even been accused of that til now. You are purposefully twisting the story and straight up making shit up. I have never raped anyone, i have never been accused of raping anyone til that post above me that im responding to. Also, encouraging me to kill myself really shows where your heart lies. You never wanted to see me get better or grow, you want me dead. Sorry bud. Im sober now, living a good life, and am still doing a lot of work on myself. Im not going to go into it here, because its not the place, but im a completely different person than I was those years ago.
> 
> I understand people are still upset and angry, but spreading false information is just straight up wrong. Anyone who reads this in the future, yes, i was an abusive asshole. 99.9% of the things in OPs post happened exactly like they said they did. Noone has ever said i raped them. This is false info.
> 
> ...



Hey fuckface, so you rear your ugly head again. This comment is just another example of your incessant pattern of manipulation, lying, and dodging accountability. I actually commented on this thread a couple years ago about my experience, but I deleted it out of embarrassment and a false sense of guilt. Maybe reading this will jog your memory of what really happened.

Schwilliam and I met in Portland in 2018. They were transparent about the accusations against them, and I decided to give them the benefit of the doubt and try to help this person through the accountability process that many of our other community members were facilitating. Schwilliam is very charismatic and they know that and use it to their advantage. Perhaps against my better judgement, we started hooking up and hanging out frequently. Very quickly, it spiraled into something that was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life that I am still trying to heal from. There are a lot of things that I could go into detail here about the abuse and manipulation that Schwilliam/Dru/Gnar/all their other names put me through (and I did in my original post), but I'm gonna try to keep this concise. This is just the tip of the iceberg. 

I learned pretty fast into hanging out with them that the best way to keep them from blowing up at me and guilt-tripping me about not giving them enough attention was to have sex with them. I'll admit that it was consensual at times, but I want to make it really clear that many other times it was used to just keep them from being upset with me. Raquel commented on this post a couple years ago about the fight at Nooch House; I was there. While they were screaming on the porch, I packed my stuff and was getting ready to leave through the back door. Schwilliam came in and saw my stuff packed, and said that it would make them "really, really angry" if I left. I felt pressured into staying and sleeping with them. I think that was the first night that I felt truly scared of them and realized the trouble I had fallen into.


*Schwilliam, you raped me in 2019 while I was unconscious in my bed.* That night, people had been partying at my place and you took me upstairs to my room. I remember waking up to it happening and feeling so confused but I was too fucked up to tell you to stop. Actually, the next morning, you asked something like, "By the way, you don't feel like I raped you or anything last night, right?" My roommate told me the next morning that Vince had even said while you were taking me upstairs that something bad was going to happen. People at the house knew it was happening and didn't help me. Fuck you and them. I didn't want to believe that it happened. For a while I told myself that it was a misunderstanding on my part. But there is no denying that *you raped me *in my own bed while I was passed out on benzos and booze. The only thing you had that night was a box of wine, and you knew what you were doing. 

It all came to a head one night in August 2019 when they were screaming at me over the phone for hanging out with my then partner instead of them. They were screaming names at me, calling me a piece of shit, that I was worth nothing, all because I wasn't giving them my undivided attention. This went on for a couple of hours before they threatened to kill themself. I was begging them not to while I listened to them climb the lombard bridge and try to jump off in front of the oncoming train. Unfortunately for everyone, they missed. They showed up to my house a few hours later and I essentially nursed them back to health for a few days. I can still vividly hear that phone call. Being made to listen to that was more traumatizing than I can put into words. I knew then that I needed to get out of this. By the next month, they had fucked off to Florida to live with their mom. I told them over text that they had hurt me and I wanted them out of my life. I blocked them and haven't seen or heard from them since, until now. 

*Schwilliam, or whatever you call yourself these days, you are a rapist. *

I believe that people can change and grow for the better, but not you. You have consistently proved the opposite for yourself. I don't want accountability anymore; I want you to suffer like you have made so many others suffer. You haven't changed. Same snake, different skin. Fuck you.


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## beersalt (Nov 29, 2022)

To this day the former owner of one of the dogs Sirius abandoned, is contacting me because he personally directed them to me. It's been 6 YEARS FOLX since I made the mistake of fucking with that kid. And not only does the trauma of being held hostage, and sexually/emotionally manipulated, and beat by him still find me, but other fucking psychos have tried to co-erce me into meeting up with them so they can jump me and steal my dog. He's the shit bag that just.gets.shittier.


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