# Gay in the 'scene'



## piratehobo

Sometimes I feel like there aren't many women within the anarcho/"punk" scene who are gay. Having recently come out completely, I feel kind of alone in this. The girls I do meet do the whole "I'm drunk let's hook up" song and dance and I fucking hate it. I just went through something like this, because even when sober, she said she wanted to be with me. I personally don't drink, but I'm just sick of feeling so weird within the scene. It leads to me settling for girls I don't have much in common with, just 'cuz they're cute and fun to be around. I don't wanna compromise my ideals anymore. I guess I'm just looking to see who else feels like this and how they deal with it.


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## CardBoardBox

straight women are confusing enough. most bi women I've met are completely through the loop, either they don't know what they want or they're doing it for attention or thrills. I only know two women who are truly gay and they're unlike any people I've ever met. I think that age has a lot to do with it too. Younger folk like ourselves are always so flip and flop with what they want out of a relationship. I guess communication is key and wanting the same thing from someone. If you're hanging around with a party scene then you're gonna attract people of that type. I don't drink myself so I kind of understand where you're coming from.


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## Earth

Straight women are totally out with me, especially after the last one I was involved with...

Bi or gay women tend to be totally open and into anything, no taboo's, that sort of thing
- but piratehobo is correct: today, there are very very few and far between.
Maybe because it ain't so trendy anymore??
(**I say that only because I have come across many fakers out there, who are not really what they say they are)

I've only really gotten to properly know three women who were either bi/gay over the years, but that privilage
of knowing just those three is priceless, for we are friends for life


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## trash diver

Good that you keep your ideals. Some people search for their soul mate all their lives. Just be patient and never give up.


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## acrata4ever

yes always set high standard impossible goals for yourself that you can never achieve. compile big long lists of requirements that will never be met. dying alone but full of self worship is a very noble position.

"It is better to die on your knees begging forgiveness from those you shot down in the past. than to live on your feet standing next to a partner who doesnt agree with all you say"- Dirty Sanchez May 19, 1910


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## Matt Derrick

i feel like you might find more women of the type you're looking for in the more progressive activist/anarchist scenes. i think you'd be practically swimming in choices there.


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## EphemeralStick

I get that sometimes too. Most of the guys I meet aren't so much gay, but more so they're down for sticking it anywhere they can find. Sure me being a guy as well I'm always down but when it comes to finding something meaningful i never tend to find it with someone in the "scene" (dislike that term). I guess what I'm trying to say is that you're not the only gay having trouble with this. I think its more complacency with how people get their kicks rather than what emotions they can feel towards a person. sad day.


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## Sharkbite

I think some people just have this problem of always running into people who aren't right for them, even if they are in the mainstream. If you concentrate on finding the right person you are doing it wrong. Just live your life and be happy. But always keep an eye out and the right person will come along.


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## mandapocalypse

You are not alone!


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## fateoficarus

I know plenty of queer women who are anarchist crust punks, to the point where I actually have this odd habit of getting attracted to lesbian feminists in the scene. I imagine a lot of it just depends on where you are and what social circles you run in, but trust me, there's a lot of great queer women out there, you just haven't met them yet. I think Matt Pist's and Sharkbite's advice are spot on. If you want to meet progressive anarchist women the best place to meet them is in activists circles. Also, I completely agree that the best way to meet people is to stop trying and just be yourself; it comes of as self confident rather than trying too hard.


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## Nelco

nice way to cruie stp pirate hobo


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## dolittle

Can't speak for the anarchy/punk folks. But I can say this... I am my own person. I don't fit in any one "scene". After 30 yrs of dating, I still haven't met my match, and that's OK. I rather like being a universe unto myself. To meany Gay folk think they are SUPPOSE to be paired up. Cause that's what we are taut. Wish Gay folk would wake up & realise, we are NOT the same as everyone elts. We CAN do it our own way. But if settling down in the burb's & spitting out babys with U'r "spouse" is Ur idea of the American dream, then good luck in U'r hunt for Ms Perfect.


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## 3knd

Eh, I'm a androgynous pansexual...I'm Into guys that Look like girls. I'm not really into having sex with girls (Need I remind you, I am a girl) but I like making out and cuddlin' with them, Uh...yeah, I just like whatever I find attractive.


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## frzrbrnd

3knd said:


> Uh...yeah, I just like whatever I find attractive.


"my sexual preference is for quality sex."


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## 3knd

frzrbrnd said:


> "my sexual preference is for quality sex."


Exactly!


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## scales

you're right!! there isn't much gays in the scene aim still looking for someone to hang out or better yet be in a relationship!....


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## wizehop

frzrbrnd said:


> "my sexual preference is for quality sex."


 
Hahaha, ya gotta love quality sex!

The thing with scenes is they differ from place to place, some times more than one can imagine. One town your the odd one out, the next your right in there...kind of interesting really


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## scales

tell me about it there isn't any gay bars around here and if they were i would probably not go to them being that they will be playing pop music or rap


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## scales

wizehop said:


> Hahaha, ya gotta love quality sex!
> 
> The thing with scenes is they differ from place to place, some times more than one can imagine. One town your the odd one out, the next your right in there...kind of interesting really


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## scales

ok aim new to these i don't know what aim doing i think i just reposted someones post


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## ArnoldHo

show em' how it's done ... Show love and it will attract 'them' like flies to shit. Plus, if you have love to offer it's not healthy to keep it bottled up. Let it oooze


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## NoahScape

I know crusty lesbian ladies why don't you?


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## Dandylion

Omg i feel the same exact way. I hate the term bi because most girls who claim it for attention or what not. I'm pansexual meaning i don't find love in gender. Although I'm more attracted to women. I've always had to settle with girls that aren't even bi/gay and i get my heart broken everytime. It makes me feel a bit unattractive or not good enough and then i end up dating a guy. Its complicated and ive never learned to cope with it. I end up falling for girls who will never end up liking me at all.


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## EphemeralStick

Dandylion said:


> I've always had to settle with girls that aren't even bi/gay and i get my heart broken everytime.


Story of my life. Cept switch straight girls with straight guys. Lately I've been so disinterested in relationships because the guys I do end up hooking up with are usually fucked up and just lookin to get off. Which is frustrating. I think its hard for gays in the scene (hate that word), not because they're not welcoming, but because they're so indifferent as to who they get their jollies from. It ends up hurting the gay who thought there could be potential for more.


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## Dandylion

I hear you there. I thought i was the only one, especially being from Missouri. I thought it would be easier on the west coast.


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## 1544c

I'm in a situation where I get to watch lots of people hooking up. All straight people.
I wish I could be as shallow and use alcohol as an excuse to be sexual. Unfortunately, I cannot fake an interest in hooking up with random dude or chick for the night. I'd rather cuddle. Now that would be something I'd get pumped about. I'm seeking something much deeper than simply smearing my genitals against someone else's.


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## vdem1

I've had similar issues. most are straight or "drunk bi curious" but it's a rare day in hell that I meet another gay chick.


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## Nerdypunkkid

You don't find many girls in the


piratehobo said:


> Sometimes I feel like there aren't many women within the anarcho/"punk" scene who are gay. Having recently come out completely, I feel kind of alone in this. The girls I do meet do the whole "I'm drunk let's hook up" song and dance and I fucking hate it. I just went through something like this, because even when sober, she said she wanted to be with me. I personally don't drink, but I'm just sick of feeling so weird within the scene. It leads to me settling for girls I don't have much in common with, just 'cuz they're cute and fun to be around. I don't wanna compromise my ideals anymore. I guess I'm just looking to see who else feels like this and how they deal with it.



of course you don't, just like you don't find many guys in the anarcho/punk scene who are lesbian. Any ways I know what you mean and the struggle when you not a bar type


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## awkwardshelby

Maybe it's just where you are? I lived in San Antonio, TX for a long time and there was no lgtbqia+ presence for the longest time until just a few years ago when SA was recognized as the city with the most gay parents. Now, a good portion of the people I know are coming out as trans and gay. Of course, there are still those "I'm bi only when I'm drunk" folk.


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## Deleted member 16034

I've honestly slept with more straight or heteroflexible women than lesbians and bisexuals combined. Finding lesbians anywhere is hard as Hell. I have no advice to give you, really. But if you'd like to bitch I'm here to listen


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## HoboinaTux

I've had some pretty good luck with a "Take me home - I do dishes & Grant wishes" sign after the work traffic starts. Every now and then I've met a kid or homebum who wants to fool around. It's pretty nice, I've been with the same girl for years now so when a guy rolls around I'm usually d-t-f.


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