# your loose lock-ring displeases the fixie gods



## readyg (Oct 20, 2009)

Ill try to keep this short and sweet. Just got back to my hometown a couple days ago, and been riding bikes around. The other day I noticed my lockring was loose. I figured as long as I didnt put too much force on it pedaling back then everything would be fine until I tightened it. Wrong! Stood up to pedal when riding last night, and the bike locked on me completely. Over the handlebars, landing on my head, and a couple rolls later...somehow the only part of my body that ends up bleeding is my penis. Fun fun fun.

Check your lockrings ladies and gents, and wear your helmets.


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## stove (Oct 20, 2009)

wait, how did you cut your junk doing a forward roll? that's the FIRST thing that gets tucked in, before my damn face...


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## readyg (Oct 20, 2009)

Im still a little baffled myself. Im guessing the hole in my boxers and the hole in my pants maybe just lined up perfectly before i hit ground.


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## finn (Oct 20, 2009)

I'd suspect the handle bar ends- since you implied it was a cut and not from slamming your kidneys on the ground, though I wouldn't necessarily discount that.


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## Loaf (Oct 20, 2009)

that is fucking FTRA man, Ha see told you leaving assville was a bad idea, at least we know it doens't have herps


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## bote (Oct 20, 2009)

no good at all, I´ll remember that next time I´m thinking about putting off fixing my bike.


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## The Cheshire (Oct 20, 2009)

This is awesome. Only because my lockring comes undone as soon as I get drunk. A good slam, bloody cock and all!


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## sprout (Oct 21, 2009)

I had a friend that decided to make a "fixed" cog by using lock-tite. Let's just say it was a horrid idea.
You have inspired me to stop putting off the replacement of my rear tire that I skidded to death. I am pretty sure a few more wears on that thing will have me splatted on the side of the road, myself.


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## Livingpastense (Oct 21, 2009)

ya ya ya and the road bike gods of many speeds and coastings are laughing saying fixies belong on the track. But that sucks you cut your junk man.


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## Ravie (Oct 21, 2009)

haha! hope you heal right.


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## readyg (Oct 21, 2009)

Livingpastense said:


> ya ya ya and the road bike gods of many speeds and coastings are laughing saying fixies belong on the track. But that sucks you cut your junk man.



hahaha, this is true. though i live in flat florida, ive got an excuse. hah.

at least now if i wanted to be a scumfuck i could tell everyone my name is dickscrape or something like that.


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## finn (Oct 21, 2009)

Maybe you need to design a protective cup that you can cycle with! And I think Junkscraper is a better name, sounds crustier.


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## Mouse (Oct 24, 2009)

see, the real lesson here is to sew the holes in your pants and panties, boys!


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## sprout (Oct 24, 2009)

Mouse said:


> see, the real lesson here is to sew the holes in your pants and panties, boys!




http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a332/ohnoitschlo/0098.jpg
http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a332/ohnoitschlo/0092.jpg

Cycling is a devastating activity for even your best denim.
Padded cycling shorts for happy crotches!


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## WindWalker1970 (Oct 25, 2009)

I've had some bad spills off a bike before. Scrapped elbows, knees, and a bad shoulder asphalt burn,...even racked the boys once or twice but never Mr Happy. =)

Makes me cringe just thinking about that. 

Hope the healing goes well. Maybe go to the doc for some pain meds to help pass the time.=P If ever there was a case that called for meds, it would be this I say.lol.


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## Rash L (Nov 2, 2009)

I'm sorry... but everytime I see the title of this post, I swear it says "loose cock-ring"...


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## Gypsybones (Nov 2, 2009)

helmet and clothing; cause naked cycling is never a good idea no mater how much fun it sounds


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## marc (Nov 4, 2009)

damn reade that fuckin sucks. are you still coming to pensacola?


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## Rstank (Nov 5, 2009)

and if anything wear a cock helmet!


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