# Scared



## 0degrees

I'm going to be homless very soon and I'm not sure I can survive...I'm scared...


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## TheWindAndRain

Well you've got a lot of cool people on here that can offer advice for your situation. Maybe you can even find a couch. As you know it can be more dangerous for women on the street, but you will also have more resources to keep you off the street. I know they are not the most desirable, but have you looked into women's shelter in your area? That might be your best bet temporarily until you figure out a plan. You put this in the wilderness survival section, but I recommend you look for urban resources first unless you know where and how to survive on land alone. I have been homeless most of my adult life and it is not so bad, although that doesn't mean I have it as bad as you. If you have any specific questions I can try to help, or just now there are people here you can ask.


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## 0degrees

TheWindAndRain said:


> Well you've got a lot of cool people on here that can offer advice for your situation. Maybe you can even find a couch. As you know it can be more dangerous for women on the street, but you will also have more resources to keep you off the street. I know they are not the most desirable, but have you looked into women's shelter in your area? That might be your best bet temporarily until you figure out a plan. You put this in the wilderness survival section, but I recommend you look for urban resources first unless you know where and how to survive on land alone. I have been homeless most of my adult life and it is not so bad, although that doesn't mean I have it as bad as you. If you have any specific questions I can try to help, or just now there are people here you can ask.


Thank you...I know the shelters here allow a six day stay till you're right back on the street...It's 114 degrees here right now...I'm scared I will dehydrate or starve...Also a a female I fear the actions of men....I have no idea where to sleep...


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## TheWindAndRain

Do you live n


0degrees said:


> Thank you...I know the shelters here allow a six day stay till you're right back on the street...It's 114 degrees here right now...I'm scared I will dehydrate or starve...Also a a female I fear the actions of men....I have no idea where to sleep...



Are you in Tucson? If you can, look up your nearest Home Depot store and Check on satellite images if they have the tuff sheds for sale on display in the parking lot. You can sleep in those at night somewhat safely although you should try to lock it up as i have heard horrible scream/crimes at night while staying in those one time, but every major city has that option. Your other option is to find a U-Haul dealer and stay in one of their trailers. These are just places to sleep until you can figure something out sorry I can't help more. I have a spare room atm but it is in a rural area two hours outside of Tucson.


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## 0degrees

TheWindAndRain said:


> Do you live n
> 
> 
> Are you in Tucson? If you can, look up your nearest Home Depot store and Check on satellite images if they have the tuff sheds for sale on display in the parking lot. You can sleep in those at night somewhat safely although you should try to lock it up as i have heard horrible scream/crimes at night while staying in those one time, but every major city has that option. Your other option is to find a U-Haul dealer and stay in one of their trailers. These are just places to sleep until you can figure something out sorry I can't help more. I have a spare room atm but it is in a rural area two hours outside of Tucson.


I'm in Tucson....Don't know about the sheds...Thank you...I will go over and look...


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## TheWindAndRain

From checking maps it looks like the only Home Depot in your city without the storage sheds is the Home Depot on Alvernon St and Broadway, so do NOT go to that one. The Home Depot on Pantano street, the Home Depot on Irvington street, and the Home Depot on North Oracle road DO appear to have display sheds. If they are locked (very slim chance) just kick in the vent on the back of them and crawl in. Bring a weapon. I don't mean to worry you but I am serious that I heard blood curtling screams and thumps then silence come from one of those tuff sheds in New Mexico one night.


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## 0degrees

TheWindAndRain said:


> From checking maps it looks like the only Home Depot in your city without the storage sheds is the Home Depot on Alvernon St and Broadway, so do NOT go to that one. The Home Depot on Pantano street, the Home Depot on Irvington street, and the Home Depot on North Oracle road DO appear to have display sheds. If they are locked (very slim chance) just kick in the vent on the back of them and crawl in. Bring a weapon. I don't mean to worry you but I am serious that I heard blood curtling screams and thumps then silence come from one of those tuff sheds in New Mexico one night.


Lol...already scared to death!...Thanks...What about sleeping in the desert?...Snakes...Javalina....coyotes....scorpions....A javilina took a stance against me last week...freaked me out but it backed down. ..I'm not sure if sleeping on the open is a great idea....Thank you for looking up Home Depots for me. ...very very kind!


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## TheWindAndRain

0degrees said:


> Lol...already scared to death!...Thanks...What about sleeping in the desert?...Snakes...Javalina....coyotes....scorpions....A javilina took a stance against me last week...freaked me out but it backed down. ..I'm not sure if sleeping on the open is a great idea....Thank you for looking up Home Depots for me. ...very very kind!



Sorry for mentioning that but I am just a straightforward person. If you can't get in the shelters I think you will be safer sleeping in those sheds or find an unlocked U-Haul trailer than in the open whenever in urban areas. This shit can be tough hang in there, most of us here have been through that and we are all still here to talk about it. It's not for everyone and some will disagree, but I felt much safer homeless when I got a gun. Arizona has no restrictions on that either. Critters won't harm you btw. 

Another form of shelter is that all post offices are open and unlocked 24/7 so try to find one in a non populated area and you can sleep peacefully all night. They even have outlets for your phone and many have security cameras so you can feel safe. This is not a recommendation in big cities where people will be coming in all night.


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## 0degrees

Ok..Thank you so much for taking the time ti give me suggestions...


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## Eng JR Lupo RV323

I don't know your full situation but just throwing some options out there assuming you're not bound to Tuscon/AZ. Maybe get somewhere with better weather? If I'm homeless, I don't got a whole lot tying me to any certain place. So, I'm gonna get homeless in a real nice climate at least. AZ is not the easiest place to hitchhike out of from my experiences, and I wouldn't recommend hopping freight if you're not experienced/or not with someone who is. Maybe if you got some duckets, get at least to a place that is easier to get out of? Rideshares can be cheap, sometimes even free if you're willing to help drive.


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## AaronOnTheRoad

Don't feel bad I'm always scared.


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## AlwaysLost

Don't make friends too quickly.its only natural that you feel scared but not everyone who will try and "help" you will have good intentions.

Make sure you really know a person before you are alone with them. Dont just judge them, judge who they associate with. Everything you say to a persons gives them power over you and believe me 80% of homeless people you don't want to know, 20% you can stand, about 10% you can trust and about 5% you can be friends with. The good news is the people you can trust will usually become closer to you than family.

Most importantly, trust your feelings and your instincts. You are stronger than you think and there is a lot of good information and people on this site that can help you. I know they've kept me from going insane.

And don't feel bad about being scared. I'm scared every minute of every day that I bum around. Just move slow, think carefully and make the best decisions you can. You have to think of it as an adventure and find joy amidst the obstacles.

Try to have goals even if they are small everyday. Don't fall into the trap of just surviving. Its easy to do. I have many friends who just beg enough money to get that next drink and they are stuck in place.

It will take a minute to adjust but
Once you get settled and into whatever routine u can establish, Get a hobby, make some art, take classes online, YouTube vlog to make some extra cash anything to give u a purpose beyond just surviving.

I hope that helps a little sorry if it doesnt.


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## AlwaysLost

0degrees said:


> Ok..Thank you so much for taking the time ti give me suggestions...



I started a thread on avoiding dehydration but the biggest trick is get a library card and take advantage of the AC. The library is my best friend after the soup kitchen.


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## creature

Tuscon is pretty big, and i'm not fond of larger cities..
Prescott, AZ is a smaller city/town that seems to have pretty good support options..
kitchens, campgrounds, showers & some decent folks..
a good library, too..

i know somebody pretty solid up there who wouldn't mind showing you the local ropes, though i think all you would have to do is stop into Sal's (salvation army) for lunch & you'd meet some cool folks..


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## 0degrees

Eng JR Lupo RV323 said:


> I don't know your full situation but just throwing some options out there assuming you're not bound to Tuscon/AZ. Maybe get somewhere with better weather? If I'm homeless, I don't got a whole lot tying me to any certain place. So, I'm gonna get homeless in a real nice climate at least. AZ is not the easiest place to hitchhike out of from my experiences, and I wouldn't recommend hopping freight if you're not experienced/or not with someone who is. Maybe if you got some duckets, get at least to a place that is easier to get out of? Rideshares can be cheap, sometimes even free if you're willing to help drive.


Thank you


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## 0degrees

AlmostAlwaysLost said:


> I started a thread on avoiding dehydration but the biggest trick is get a library card and take advantage of the AC. The library is my best friend after the soup kitchen.


Thank you...very helpful!


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## 0degrees

creature said:


> Tuscon is pretty big, and i'm not fond of larger cities..
> Prescott, AZ is a smaller city/town that seems to have pretty good support options..
> kitchens, campgrounds, showers & some decent folks..
> a good library, too..
> 
> i know somebody pretty solid up there who wouldn't mind showing you the local ropes, though i think all you would have to do is stop into Sal's (salvation army) for lunch & you'd meet some cool folks..


My


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## 0degrees

My phone is being shut off on Wednesday....They are also taking my car away this week...I feel so isolated already....I keep telling myself this is my new life and I just have to adjust. ..I think I might die out there so I suppose I have to just accept that as well....Nothing I can do...


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## creature

who's taking your car?
is it in your name??

repossession requires due process, sis, so even if it's liened or not fully paid for, as long as the title itself has you as the owner, i think you should be able to pull her out & point her wherever.

if you have a few days, the first thing you need to do is make a backpack.
put the minimum gear you'll need in it (see threads in the forums, and if anyone knows a good one, can you link?)
make sure you have your ID & put it aside.

you posted here, about 5 weeks ago:
https://squattheplanet.com/threads/homless.31369/#post-229435

how far away is D-day, *actually*?
don't cower in the corner & wait for the shit to hit.
prepare.

even if it's throwing shit out you know you can't take & making sure you have what you need to GET THE HELL OUT OF THE CITY, doing something is better than paralysis.

you don't give much background, so no one can really speak to specifics..

if anyone on StP who's been a long term member offers help, accept it!
at the same time, fill them in enough to know that you're solid, too.

if you're fit enough to carry a 30 or so pound pack, this won't be too bad, if it's unavoidable.
are you disabled in any way that makes packing impossible?

head into northern new mexico, or new mexico in general AVOIDING THE CITIES.
new mexico has, in my opinion, the very best state park system in the nation.
it's fairly easy to find a place to camp, so long as you don't use one of the paid sites, and the showers are free.

do you have any skills other than care giving?
can you do day labor?
are you an older adult, or are you young enough to keep your eyes open & wits sharp that you can make friends with kids who are straight enough to have reasonably clean teeth? 

has your life been housed up until now?
if you're actually going to be forced to leave your possessions and mementos behind, you need to GET AWAY from what you're familiar with.
if you have a digital camera, take some photos of what you love & at some point in the future back them up.
at least you'll have some tiny reminders of what you loved.

your life will continue.

do not hang out where you know.

adventure, because if you get hung up trying to carry too much around, you may devolve into shopping cart mode, and that's a flag waver for potential gutter predators.. as well as something you're going to hang on to that may keep you from whatever true changes are ahead.

if you want to stay housed, what is keeping you from finding another job care taking?

who is in control of your existence, now, that you're going to be tossed out?

were you a live in care taker?

if the details aren't relevant, focus on what is going to happen in the immediate future & get your pack ready.

DO NOT USE A SHOPPING CART!!
DO NOT USE A SUITCASE!!!
DO NOT USE A DUFFLE BAG!!

the shittiest backpack you can beg for or scrounge up beats either, by far, right now.
it's ok to have maybe two medium to larger day packs, if one decent backpack isn't available.
both are carryable and when a larger pack is gotten, can be ditched.

focus.
keep your ID safe.

you can either hit the streets, begging from strangers, or you can hit the road looking for opportunities.
the streets can be short of kindness, the road not so much so, but a bit rougher regarding shelter, if yer a newb.

the worst danger out there are humans, and the worst of them are the males.
on the road you have more space, for sure, & more stealth.
look at the couches & rides offered here.
don't be helpless, though, because nobody can afford to just take you in..
be ready to split after recharge..

it can be a scummy place to find a ride, but you might want to look at craigslist & see if anyone is doing a roadtrip.. a lot of those offers are men requiring sex for transport, and that will come out in the wash, so be prepared to be disappointed more than once.. a lot of women post for female co-drivers, so you might find something there..

if your future is coming, embrace in as much as you are able.
if you're honest & willing to carry your weight, you'll be ok..

you'll be fine..


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## 0degrees

creature said:


> who's taking your car?
> is it in your name??
> 
> repossession requires due process, sis, so even if it's liened or not fully paid for, as long as the title itself has you as the owner, i think you should be able to pull her out & point her wherever.
> 
> if you have a few days, the first thing you need to do is make a backpack.
> put the minimum gear you'll need in it (see threads in the forums, and if anyone knows a good one, can you link?)
> make sure you have your ID & put it aside.
> 
> you posted here, about 5 weeks ago:
> https://squattheplanet.com/threads/homless.31369/#post-229435
> 
> how far away is D-day, *actually*?
> don't cower in the corner & wait for the shit to hit.
> prepare.
> 
> even if it's throwing shit out you know you can't take & making sure you have what you need to GET THE HELL OUT OF THE CITY, doing something is better than paralysis.
> 
> you don't give much background, so no one can really speak to specifics..
> 
> if anyone on StP who's been a long term member offers help, accept it!
> at the same time, fill them in enough to know that you're solid, too.
> 
> if you're fit enough to carry a 30 or so pound pack, this won't be too bad, if it's unavoidable.
> are you disabled in any way that makes packing impossible?
> 
> head into northern new mexico, or new mexico in general AVOIDING THE CITIES.
> new mexico has, in my opinion, the very best state park system in the nation.
> it's fairly easy to find a place to camp, so long as you don't use one of the paid sites, and the showers are free.
> 
> do you have any skills other than care giving?
> can you do day labor?
> are you an older adult, or are you young enough to keep your eyes open & wits sharp that you can make friends with kids who are straight enough to have reasonably clean teeth?
> 
> has your life been housed up until now?
> if you're actually going to be forced to leave your possessions and mementos behind, you need to GET AWAY from what you're familiar with.
> if you have a digital camera, take some photos of what you love & at some point in the future back them up.
> at least you'll have some tiny reminders of what you loved.
> 
> your life will continue.
> 
> do not hang out where you know.
> 
> adventure, because if you get hung up trying to carry too much around, you may devolve into shopping cart mode, and that's a flag waver for potential gutter predators.. as well as something you're going to hang on to that may keep you from whatever true changes are ahead.
> 
> if you want to stay housed, what is keeping you from finding another job care taking?
> 
> who is in control of your existence, now, that you're going to be tossed out?
> 
> were you a live in care taker?
> 
> if the details aren't relevant, focus on what is going to happen in the immediate future & get your pack ready.
> 
> DO NOT USE A SHOPPING CART!!
> DO NOT USE A SUITCASE!!!
> DO NOT USE A DUFFLE BAG!!
> 
> the shittiest backpack you can beg for or scrounge up beats either, by far, right now.
> it's ok to have maybe two medium to larger day packs, if one decent backpack isn't available.
> both are carryable and when a larger pack is gotten, can be ditched.
> 
> focus.
> keep your ID safe.
> 
> you can either hit the streets, begging from strangers, or you can hit the road looking for opportunities.
> the streets can be short of kindness, the road not so much so, but a bit rougher regarding shelter, if yer a newb.
> 
> the worst danger out there are humans, and the worst of them are the males.
> on the road you have more space, for sure, & more stealth.
> look at the couches & rides offered here.
> don't be helpless, though, because nobody can afford to just take you in..
> be ready to split after recharge..
> 
> it can be a scummy place to find a ride, but you might want to look at craigslist & see if anyone is doing a roadtrip.. a lot of those offers are men requiring sex for transport, and that will come out in the wash, so be prepared to be disappointed more than once.. a lot of women post for female co-drivers, so you might find something there..
> 
> if your future is coming, embrace in as much as you are able.
> if you're honest & willing to carry your weight, you'll be ok..
> 
> you'll be fine..


I am behind on car payments and am receiving agressive phone calls....They will take the car.....I am being evicted and court is next Thursday...My phone is being disconnected Wednesday so I won't be able to even get advice....I have been trying to pack but become paralyzed and overwhelmed by horrible dear and greif.....I am sad no-one will help me....I am scared.....as it is I have many men who are zealously inappropriate with me....I can't imagine the fear that will overcome me being in the open with no food or water or money and being at the mercy of Every one. ....


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## creature

pack the car & go.
if you're being evicted for sure, then screw the hearing, since it's not criminal.
judgment will be made for the landlord & that will be it.

you'll be gone.

you wait for the shit to hit the fan & it will fly.

right now you are so far ahead of the game that it isn't funny.
you have a legal vehicle which cannot be repo'd without due process, so throw your shit in it & get the hell out.

you're going to be paralyzed by taking all the steps you think you are being forced to take, hoping for an outcome that will leave you in an ok state, when there's zero fucking probability of that.

are you employed?
no.
have money to pay back rent or get a new place?
no.

have a car you can drive wherever, & ask for help with gas from folks on the road?
yes.
want to be able to take some food & water with you, and some extra stuff if you're going to house up again?
yes.

load your car up & go.
now.

you keep talking to us from the vantage of fear & weakness.
there is no way to help anyone who ties their own hands like that, other than to offer pity.

if *you* can't take action, neither can anyone else.

i'm afraid i won't have much else to say on the matter, either, since you're really not tell us all that much.

good luck, sis.

pack & go.


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## A New Name

Ah, trial by fire.
Yeah you'll do well to listen to creature and leave the mercy seeking/political correct mind behind. 
Lose your fear and find your fierceness, but keep your compassion.


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## Dunedrifter

I would start looking through the crust surfing section and find yourself a cooler climate to move on to. Check the ride board to get yourself there. Stay away from bigger cities and small towns; you want something in between. I know you're scared, but consider for a moment that you are also free to set off on an adventure. Think positively!


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## AlwaysLost

0degrees said:


> My phone is being shut off on Wednesday....They are also taking my car away this week...I feel so isolated already....I keep telling myself this is my new life and I just have to adjust. ..I think I might die out there so I suppose I have to just accept that as well....Nothing I can do...



If your phone is an android you can still take advantage of the free WiFi on the city bus, library, college, Starbucks etc etc.

And I second what creature says. You got to woman up and don't let the fear cripple you.

Load up your car now with food, water and whatever survival gear and head for a medium-sized-liberal college town in a cooler climate.

It will be easier for you to have a car which is a safe place to sleep until you get the hang of things.


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## TheWindAndRain

You say no one will help you, but you just have to ask, hold up a cardboard sign telling people the truth if you need money, hell I am going out to do that right now at walmart. I had no phone or internet service yesterday, no food and no money yet panhandled up to get a new phone and service. Closed mouths don't get fed so get your hustle on and ask strangers for what you need. Assuming you are not a thief or heavy drug abuser, if you make it to silver city NM (it never reaches 100 degrees here) I have an extra bedroom and bathroom here for as long as you need or any other STP member. Creatures recommendation of Prescott AZ is another good one.


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## creature

Zero,
Wind's offer of shelter is probably a Godsend.
if you're being straight, he'll at least have strong pointers for you & can teach you at least a few, critical skills while the space is available.. that's what you call a lifeline, & Wind? i'm sorry if i've sounded smarmy, at alll..

if nothing else, you'll have a place to park & get oriented & plan from.
you'll have a place to hide your car from any repo gahks..
make sure you bring the title with you.
i know nothing about repo laws, but i would suspect you have at least 30 days for your wheels to remain legit. you may have longer, or may be able to extend by making intermittent, partial payments..
i really don't know.

in any case, since we don't know your situation, we can't offer any more than the most amorphous advice.
if you're solid, just on some bad luck & need some space to either get back to work or properly launch yourself on a new existence, then it sounds as if you have an opportunity in front of you at least as good as where you've been.

if you are in your 20's, you're young enough that you are going to find a path towards new confidence & strength.
if you are in your 30's, you are going to find that you are at a fork in the road, between existing as you have in the past, trying to maintain that keel-line; or throwing yourself to new seas, made more ominous by leaving habit behind.

if you are in your 40's or more, then you have to look at the skills you have & acquire confidence.
see what mistakes you have made before and change your approach towards what causes them.
are you too naive? do you rely too much on others? do you blame folks for not being what you think they should be? are you expecting business people to actually be fair, rather than seeing you as a mere commodity?

regardless, there is no pity, here, because resources are few, other than the strength that one hand can offer to another.
& believe it or not, when you have a resource that honest, you are actually holding the hand of power.

you've worked & taken care of yourself, so you have at *least* that much strength, an that is not nominal, at all.

you have what it takes to do what you need.

decide, therefore, what you want.

the worst thing in the world is to let circumstances force your hand, because circumstances are random.
no one here, who knows the joy, peace, terror or love of traveling, and who has any reserve of friendship about them which they are able to offer other travelers, has simply let the wind buffet them.

i am not saying we are not leaves in the wind, but that we *choose* to be leaves in the wind, and i do not know why, but *making* the choice seems to give us a little more wisdom, which prevails upon where we are thrown..

decide what you want, but do not decide from fear.
decide from what makes you feel safe.

challenge, however, any sense of safety &/or comfort, by asking yourself what *truth*, living in you.. that truth being what you truly & actually *love*, would have you do..
if you love comfort above all else, then you will be buffeted or denied, more than any other kind of living creature..
if you love comfort, in the sense of having only what you need, because it is a place from which you feel you may do the most good, then you will be blessed..
it will be a screaming, angry, unholy & unfair fight against what you are given, but you will nonetheless accomplish at least *some* of the good you desire.

& that is a better way to die, or lose whatever gamble you take, in order to be whom you most are..


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## 0degrees

Dunedrifter said:


> I would start looking through the crust surfing section and find yourself a cooler climate to move on to. Check the ride board to get yourself there. Stay away from bigger cities and small towns; you want something in between. I know you're scared, but consider for a moment that you are also free to set off on an adventure. Think positively!


Being free of all responsibility might be a very good thing...I never have to worry about what anyone thinks either...I know they will always look down on me now. ...So what's the point of putting on Aires. ...it's freedom in many ways..I do see that....


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## 0degrees

creature said:


> Zero,
> Wind's offer of shelter is probably a Godsend.
> if you're being straight, he'll at least have strong pointers for you & can teach you at least a few, critical skills while the space is available.. that's what you call a lifeline, & Wind? i'm sorry if i've sounded smarmy, at alll..
> 
> if nothing else, you'll have a place to park & get oriented & plan from.
> you'll have a place to hide your car from any repo gahks..
> make sure you bring the title with you.
> i know nothing about repo laws, but i would suspect you have at least 30 days for your wheels to remain legit. you may have longer, or may be able to extend by making intermittent, partial payments..
> i really don't know.
> 
> in any case, since we don't know your situation, we can't offer any more than the most amorphous advice.
> if you're solid, just on some bad luck & need some space to either get back to work or properly launch yourself on a new existence, then it sounds as if you have an opportunity in front of you at least as good as where you've been.
> 
> if you are in your 20's, you're young enough that you are going to find a path towards new confidence & strength.
> if you are in your 30's, you are going to find that you are at a fork in the road, between existing as you have in the past, trying to maintain that keel-line; or throwing yourself to new seas, made more ominous by leaving habit behind.
> 
> if you are in your 40's or more, then you have to look at the skills you have & acquire confidence.
> see what mistakes you have made before and change your approach towards what causes them.
> are you too naive? do you rely too much on others? do you blame folks for not being what you think they should be? are you expecting business people to actually be fair, rather than seeing you as a mere commodity?
> 
> regardless, there is no pity, here, because resources are few, other than the strength that one hand can offer to another.
> & believe it or not, when you have a resource that honest, you are actually holding the hand of power.
> 
> you've worked & taken care of yourself, so you have at *least* that much strength, an that is not nominal, at all.
> 
> you have what it takes to do what you need.
> 
> decide, therefore, what you want.
> 
> the worst thing in the world is to let circumstances force your hand, because circumstances are random.
> no one here, who knows the joy, peace, terror or love of traveling, and who has any reserve of friendship about them which they are able to offer other travelers, has simply let the wind buffet them.
> 
> i am not saying we are not leaves in the wind, but that we *choose* to be leaves in the wind, and i do not know why, but *making* the choice seems to give us a little more wisdom, which prevails upon where we are thrown..
> 
> decide what you want, but do not decide from fear.
> decide from what makes you feel safe.
> 
> challenge, however, any sense of safety &/or comfort, by asking yourself what *truth*, living in you.. that truth being what you truly & actually *love*, would have you do..
> if you love comfort above all else, then you will be buffeted or denied, more than any other kind of living creature..
> if you love comfort, in the sense of having only what you need, because it is a place from which you feel you may do the most good, then you will be blessed..
> it will be a screaming, angry, unholy & unfair fight against what you are given, but you will nonetheless accomplish at least *some* of the good you desire.
> 
> & that is a better way to die, or lose whatever gamble you take, in order to be whom you most are..


Truly beautiful....indeed...comfort is a state of mind..I've been denied life's material comforts most of my life...This is a horrible thing that is happening to me and I honestly think I'm going to be dead in the next couple if weeks...I have no-one and nothing...and no way to survive....I know I can sleep and eat in that shelter but that isn't life....Love is life and it is non-existent. ....Lack of love is certain death....I believe all the crazy rejects I have ever known were never loved....I've known many and tried to give them love. ...I'm kinda glad I did...Maybe that's my legacy....don't know


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## Will Wood

Here is a link with some affordable stuff. It might help now or in the future? I wish I could help, but I'm so beat down right now.. Good luck.. Look around this site. Great prices.. https://swisslink.com/austrian-nylon-workout-pant.html


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## creature

looking down on you..?
what difference does that make??

look.. this is too serious to fuck around.
you want to live & be free, or do you want to live & be a schizo shopping cart lady?
or just fucking dead?

whatever drama you need, sweety, you make.

this isn't 'days of out lives' & this isn't 'boo hoo, woe is me..'

wipe off your fucking glasses, or fucking die.


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## AlwaysLost

creature said:


> looking down on you..?
> what difference does that make??
> 
> look.. this is too serious to fuck around.
> you want to live & be free, or do you want to live & be a schizo shopping cart lady?
> or just fucking dead?
> 
> whatever drama you need, sweety, you make.
> 
> this isn't 'days of out lives' & this isn't 'boo hoo, woe is me..'
> 
> wipe off your fucking glasses, or fucking die.



Getting a little out there bro. Let's try and be a little more supportive. We are men its easier for us. For whatever reason its in our DNA to just sharpen a stick and sleep peacefully among lions.

She will get there but the first time doing anything adventurous can be terrifying.

@0degrees you are going to be OK. Just because you are homeless doesn't mean you can't find love or joy.

Hang in there. Its a difficult adjustment period but its not forever either.


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## creature

Almost, yeah.. def harsh, and my apologies in part, but that harshness is intended as a real warning shot.

if she *doesn't* get out, and *doesn't* make use of what resources she might find here (if they are all she has), then there is absolutely no way to describe to her how badly torched she may very well be, if she just sits still.

if she doesn't pack her car & go, or use what small reserves she has left, *now*, and she is evicted *and* her car is taken, she's looking at a real good chance of all of her stuff being thrown into one of those piles you see on the street & that get picked through by whomever passes..

at that point, if she *hasn't* packed or otherwise prepared, her main recourse will be a shopping cart.

i frankly think that pity or gentleness is out of place, if the only action being done is hand wringing.

she needs to be scared enough not be paralyzed, but to *run*, if there's nothing else constructive she can do.

if she has a repo company after her, and is def going to be evicted, she has to get it together, now.

i don't know her real situation, other than the very few fatalistic details she's given.
if they're accurate, then it seems to me that every single minute, literally every minute she grieves, hesitates, stalls, second guesses or otherwise delay is one minute closer to her wheels being gone.

now, if she just wants to throw everything away & pull out with just a pack, that's a different story, but i would advise her to transition a little more slowly, than to just jump out on the trail without any previous experience.
that could wind up putting her in the worst circumstances possible.
like the very worst.

so i'm being a prick because her life is in actual danger.

if she's really in the situation she describes, her life is in fkng danger.

she may survive, but if she's on the streets with a shopping cart or a suitcase, then her deliverance is only a function of her experience & chance.
there is no guarantee she will meet up with nice people.
there may very well be a certain Grace that moves within existence, but it is not failsafe by a long shot.

i mean, if she has family, great.
if she has friends, great.
if she has anyone at all, great.

but she's told us, as best as i can ascertain, that she doesn't, and i'm not one to believe that magic rescues are the norm.. there are way too many people out there that have burned up on re-entry to not try to point out the fact that they should use whatever they can as some kind of parachute.

once she *does* something, *then* people can help.

to me it seems that if somebody is in a burning building, it's better to jump when people are willing to catch them, than to wait for the flames to burn them out the window.. 

if she has other resources, yeah, she'll probably be ok.
if she has 6 days at the shelter, then she's ok for those 6 days, with whatever she's salvaged.

(BTW, Zero, if you hold on to the car, screw the shelter, because you'll have to do something to keep it safe.
I would try to find a couple of good traveling kids who will help teach you to jug for gas and use the car as your base. you have direct offers of help, here, that are probably far better than a shelter.. but.. that's all your call..)

i don't think this is about finding love or joy, at all.
i don't think it's about adventures.

that doesn't happen until she exits the building, and unless there are other relevant details that she can convey that might reflect other options, the only thing i think she needs to hear is "grab what you can & RUN!"

if she wants to brood over broken loves, do it while you are getting the hell away from where they happened..
if she wants to feel sorry for things that haven't worked out, fine.. but feel sorry while you are getting to where you can start over..
if you just sit & weep, because tears are the only thing you can have faith in, well.. believe me..
they *will* consume you.


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## AlwaysLost

creature said:


> Almost, yeah.. def harsh, and my apologies in part, but that harshness is intended as a real warning shot.
> 
> if she *doesn't* get out, and *doesn't* make use of what resources she might find here (if they are all she has), then there is absolutely no way to describe to her how badly torched she may very well be, if she just sits still.
> 
> if she doesn't pack her car & go, or use what small reserves she has left, *now*, and she is evicted *and* her car is taken, she's looking at a real good chance of all of her stuff being thrown into one of those piles you see on the street & that get picked through by whomever passes..
> 
> at that point, if she *hasn't* packed or otherwise prepared, her main recourse will be a shopping cart.
> 
> i frankly think that pity or gentleness is out of place, if the only action being done is hand wringing.
> 
> she needs to be scared enough not be paralyzed, but to *run*, if there's nothing else constructive she can do.
> 
> if she has a repo company after her, and is def going to be evicted, she has to get it together, now.
> 
> i don't know her real situation, other than the very few fatalistic details she's given.
> if they're accurate, then it seems to me that every single minute, literally every minute she grieves, hesitates, stalls, second guesses or otherwise delay is one minute closer to her wheels being gone.
> 
> now, if she just wants to throw everything away & pull out with just a pack, that's a different story, but i would advise her to transition a little more slowly, than to just jump out on the trail without any previous experience.
> that could wind up putting her in the worst circumstances possible.
> like the very worst.
> 
> so i'm being a prick because her life is in actual danger.
> 
> if she's really in the situation she describes, her life is in fkng danger.
> 
> she may survive, but if she's on the streets with a shopping cart or a suitcase, then her deliverance is only a function of her experience & chance.
> there is no guarantee she will meet up with nice people.
> there may very well be a certain Grace that moves within existence, but it is not failsafe by a long shot.
> 
> i mean, if she has family, great.
> if she has friends, great.
> if she has anyone at all, great.
> 
> but she's told us, as best as i can ascertain, that she doesn't, and i'm not one to believe that magic rescues are the norm.. there are way too many people out there that have burned up on re-entry to not try to point out the fact that they should use whatever they can as some kind of parachute.
> 
> once she *does* something, *then* people can help.
> 
> to me it seems that if somebody is in a burning building, it's better to jump when people are willing to catch them, than to wait for the flames to burn them out the window..
> 
> if she has other resources, yeah, she'll probably be ok.
> if she has 6 days at the shelter, then she's ok for those 6 days, with whatever she's salvaged.
> 
> (BTW, Zero, if you hold on to the car, screw the shelter, because you'll have to do something to keep it safe.
> I would try to find a couple of good traveling kids who will help teach you to jug for gas and use the car as your base. you have direct offers of help, here, that are probably far better than a shelter.. but.. that's all your call..)
> 
> i don't think this is about finding love or joy, at all.
> i don't think it's about adventures.
> 
> that doesn't happen until she exits the building, and unless there are other relevant details that she can convey that might reflect other options, the only thing i think she needs to hear is "grab what you can & RUN!"
> 
> if she wants to brood over broken loves, do it while you are getting the hell away from where they happened..
> if she wants to feel sorry for things that haven't worked out, fine.. but feel sorry while you are getting to where you can start over..
> if you just sit & weep, because tears are the only thing you can have faith in, well.. believe me..
> they *will* consume you.



No I get it bro, totally but we can't help her if we scare her away.


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## creature

AlmostAlwaysLost said:


> No I get it bro, totally but we can't help her if we scare her away.



yeah.. i guess it is throwing gas on the fire..

i really just don't want to see her loose her car, before she gets a chance to land somewhere else..

to me, that would be the worst possible outcome..


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## Grubblin

Yes, it's a serious situation, and it won't be easy, but you'll make it bc you'll have to. People's true strengths come out when they most need to, you'll find your way. Taking action now will make it easier for you later. Any mistake you make is better than every inaction.


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## Hillbilly Castro

Just chiming in to second the idea: Get in that car and GO! Go while the goin's good. Drive and drive and drive, ask strangers for gas if you need it, sleep in your car with a tire iron in your hands and some curtains up. You'll learn. But goddamn if you let that car go everything will go differently, for the worse.
You aren't gonna die, just like that. You keep mentioning death and I'd like to imagine you'd put up a fight before you'd just keel over, that you'd exhaust every resource like a true survivor before you laid down and accepted fate.. There is always something that stands between you and death until there isn't, and that something is usually thicker than you'd imagine. Take some deep breaths, accept that a new chapter of your life is here, and breathe until you can accept it as an opportunity for a new type of beauty. Then, learn to swim. Learn to find good-to-eat food in the dumpster. Learn to find seasonal work when you need it. Learn to tie a hammock up to sleep in. Learn which boots are good for walking and which ones are garbage.


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## creature

Zero?
I'm sorry if i've sounded anything other than scary..
letters on an LCD are way less scary, however scary they sound, than actually finding yourself in a situation whre "scared" just doesn't quite cut it.

nothing like a knife on you, in the middle of the desert, during a rape attempt, along with a punch to your jaw, to get you to focus on how bad shit can be, unless you get your act together, pronto.

Most of the time there is trust and Fraternity.

Most of the time, you jump into a freight car & there are other riders, it's ok..

Most of the time people are cool.

what sucks is just how many look look friendly, but only want to strip the fucking meat off your bones, and eat you for as long as they are able to.
those fuckers will hurt, repeat **HURT* *you.. as in maim you, rape you repeatedly, cut you without regard to your recovery, steal your shit & throw you out of a car, etc., etc., etc.,

the only thing that determines initial survival is:
1A) how ferocious you are when your consciousness drops into 'kill or be killed'
2) how do i get away with the least amount of damage.
& 3) a prayer that if you need to be able, that you *are* able to kill, if needed (and thus deserved).

I would put "talking" as a way out, as #1, but.. that's really a bit background..
kind of like breathing..
if it works, good.. maybe it even does, in most cases..

you *hope* talking is ok, but when it fails, it is off the fucking table, entirely.

be ready for what is next.

have a goddamned weapon.

maybe not a fatal one, though no blame for that, but surely a painfull one.

swift & fucking painfull..

so make sure you can get in you car..

hell.. go up to HillBillyCastro's Place..
I may be there, soon, myself.
I will help you get there, if gas is what you need..

but get the hell out & go..


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## Cornelius Vango

AlmostAlwaysLost said:


> Getting a little out there bro. Let's try and be a little more supportive. We are men its easier for us. For whatever reason its in our DNA to just sharpen a stick and sleep peacefully among lions.




Eat a fucking dick, dude. I'll sharpen a fucking stick with your bleeding skull.


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## AlwaysLost

Cornelius Vango said:


> Just because one pers
> 
> 
> 
> Eat a fucking dick, dude. I'll sharpen a fucking stick with your bleeding skull.



I'm sorry I say stupid shit sometimes I really didn't mean anything by it.


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## Cornelius Vango

AlmostAlwaysLost said:


> I'm sorry I say stupid shit sometimes I really didn't mean anything by it.



Fuck that disparaging bullshit. Where are you sitting right now, Mr. Balls-in-my-hands?


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## Grubblin

I think everybody is just trying to help the OP the best way that they know how. Some people think support is the way, some people think scaring her into action is the way. Ultimately, no matter what we as individuals think, she has to decide the right way. No matter what our opinions and advice, she has to deal with the consequences of her situation and all of her future actions.


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## Cornelius Vango

Anyway, fuck OP. She came onto a website for crusty poor travelers begging for a free ride out of her own personal shitsmear of a life.

Let her die in a gutter. Who cares? 

Only a bunch of dudes who think that she needs to have some dudes tell her what's what. You already told her enough.

Clearly, she's not interested in fixing her own life and expects somebody else to do it, or she's trolling for pity dick and a skeezy rape van to hang out in in exchange for a greasy jerk.


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## Odin

Cornelius Vango said:


> Let her die in a gutter. Who cares?



If... we can't find at least one person at hand... who can care... then this world probably deserves to fucking burn.


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## Cornelius Vango

I feel like natural selection is being undervalued here.

This world does deserve to burn, and it will probably literally burn on a larger time-scale than you can appreciate here and now as a tiny human on the internets.

People die in gutters every fucking day. Good people that do things for other people. This person doesn't even do anything for herself.


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## Odin

I hope I'm lucky enough to die in the gutter as a good person... 

Mostly I'm just lazy drunk and goofy...

@Cornelius Vango I see you want the op to stop being a victim and kick ass at life. Hopefully reading stuff here will help. It's the internets ... but sometimes...


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## Grubblin

At the risk of also drawing your wrath, I kinda care. She may have a shitsmeare of a life but mine hasn't been much better. Not knowing every detail of her life, mine may have been smearierer!

I've never met the OP and I most likely never will. If she were to die in a ditch, I would never know. If I never knew, then how could I care. I do think that I know a couple of things.

I think I know that EVERYONE has a hard life, no matter how easy it looks from the outside. I think I know that there's no way I can possibly know the pains and hardships that every person i meet, everyday, has gone through. It doesn't matter whether those hardships are from that day, that week, that year, that lifetime - I think that I know that those hardships are still there.

It may be as you say, she's running a scam on those who have nothing. May be, I'm being naive (wouldn't be the first or last time) but I choose not to believe shes looking to scam and that she's just looking for advice. I choose to believe in the goodness of people. Yes, I get burned again and again and again in ways that barely seem tolerable at times. Being naive and believing in the goodness of a fellow human being - bc everyone is a person first and a type of person second - is much preferable to me than the option. That option is to believe in the evil of the human soul. That option brings me down to a way lower level than being burned ever has.

So I'm done. Believe it or not, I'm not judging anyone for anything they've posted. I'm just stating my personal beliefs for any willing to read them. You're now free to tell me what you would do with my bloody skull. You're free to call me what you will and point out how unbelievably fucking wrong I am. Believe this or not, there's nothing that you can say to me on here, or in person, that will effect me half as much as some of the things I've already heard. 

With that I wish you all the happiness that life has to offer.


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## Cornelius Vango

I deal with people like this on a daily basis. No amount of encouragement, explaining or hand-holding will do them any good. 

Sometimes what it takes for a person to do what they need to do for themself is to completely hit rock bottom and reach out and realize that there is nothing reaching back for them. The more you prolong that point, the worse off the person will be.

If they already can't care about the multiple hands already stretched out to help them walk their path, then that's what's waiting for them, and they will either find their fire and rise out of their sad puddle of shit, or they won't, and they'll die cursing the world for the fate which they have manifested.

And the world will be a better place without them.


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## TheWindAndRain

Grubblin said:


> Believe it or not, I'm not judging anyone for anything they've posted




I am ::cigar:: a lot of stupid shit was said in this thread.
Im glad @AlmostAlwaysLost and others have kind hearts.


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## Grubblin

You're absolutely right about that. Some people will wallow in their despair no matter what.

The one thing that i will add is that wallowing in a puddle of shit is the easiest thing to do when your life is at it's lowest. You look around and all around is black. No points of light to be seen. When it seems like there are no good options, no way out at all, you need something, anything. So what do you need?

You need that one point of light. Not the easy way out, just a possible way out. So you have all these hands reaching out to help you but if none of those hands spark the point of light within you then none of those hands do any good, however well intentioned. You don't need all of these hands, just the right hand. So what's the right hand?

The right hand reaching out is a total unknown, even to the person wallowing in the puddle. That hand may be just the right word, just the right sentence, just the right post that makes the wallower finally believe. Believe that maybe things aren't so bad, maybe there's a way out of this. Look, there's my point of light, where before I was drowning in a sea of darkness. 

That hand may act through scaring the living shit out of a wallower that didn't think they could be any more scared. That hand may act through encouraging in a way uncommon and untried. I believe it takes all these hands offering for the wallower to find just the right hand. That's all anyone was trying to do here, regardless of the method they were do trying to do it in.

I've told you what I think I know in the last post. Let me tell you what I definitely know in this one. BTW, it may be the only thing I definitely know.

AS LONG AS YOU DRAW YOUR NEXT BREATH, THERE'S ALWAYS A CHANCE THINGS WILL GET BETTER!

These ramblings were also my personal beliefs and opinions and after all, WTF do I know. I'm just a Traveller through time and space, making my way as best I can from minute to minute, day to day. If I can help someone along the way, then I can help myself in a less common way.


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## AlwaysLost

TheWindAndRain said:


> I am ::cigar:: a lot of stupid shit was said in this thread.
> Im glad @AlmostAlwaysLost and others have kind hearts.



Thanks bro I appreciate that a lot. 

And I apologize if my one comment seemed sexist I didn't mean to apply that women couldn't be or arent as tough as men. I just meant that its harder for some Normie's to adjust to this life than others. God knows I've failed more than I've succeeded. 

Without STP I would have gone insane, but now I feel prepared for what is inevitably coming next. Instead of being a homeless bum i will be a travelling streetartist. You all gave me that strength I can't thank you all enough.

Let's not give up on anyone because others have fallen.


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## Cornelius Vango

What you said was very much sexist and it wasn't okay and it wasn't true and beside that, it wasn't in any way helpful to anyone except to stroke your own ego. 

I know tons of non-males who are doing way more hardcore shit than you've ever done.


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## Matt Derrick

okay @Cornelius Vango let's all calm down, i think maybe you're reading into what was said a little too deeply, and besides, he apologized multiple times.

this has gotten way off topic and too close to a flame war for comfort. also OP hasn't responded in quite some time, so I'm closing this thread.


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