# Don't know what to do



## Vagabond82 (Feb 23, 2017)

So my bus ticket is purchased, bags are packed, my plans set, but my step-father is currently in the Little Rock VA hospital close to death. Stage 4 Hepatic Carcinoma, also metastatic so the cancer has spread to his lungs and stomach. Kidneys failing and belly distended due to infection. Really never had a good relationship with him, but with how the VA is taking care of him it's causing my anger issues to resurface. 

Should I stay put in Arkansas, support my family who has hardly ever supported me, and risk blowing my temper on the VA doctors once the stepfather passes due to their malpractice. Or should I go ahead and leave on March 1st and not look back to keep myself under control. It's taken me a long time to put my anger in control. Haven't lost it in many, many years since I was a teen. I know if I stay the chance is high that I could hurt someone the moment I hear he's passed away, but if I go I keep myself and others safe by avoiding hearing bad news.


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## Deleted member 125 (Feb 23, 2017)

whether or not you decide to leave or stay yer gonna get bad news sooner or later if its as serious as you say it is. i havnt spoke to my dad in over 10 years and heard about 6 or 7 ago that he had become sick and was in the hospital for a while, it didnt phase me. it crosses my mind from time to time now how ide of felt if he died and ive pretty much came to the conclusion that it wouldnt bother me too much. i have no relationship with him and i think hes a horrible cold man who was never around for his family when they needed him.

so its up to you whether or not you wanna be there or live yer own life. i dont know yer anger issues but do you think not being there would not make you any more upset then being there? thats a hard question to answer because its really up to you.


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## Shwhiskey Gumimaci (Feb 23, 2017)

That's a personal choice. No amount of internet consulting can give you the answer to that. There isn't a right or wrong here, Just do what you will feel will have the least regrets I guess.


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## Tony Pro (Feb 23, 2017)

Regret is its own form of cancer; don't expose yourself to it. Any chance you could tie up enough loose ends before March to make everyone happy?
I think you should go, but def. don't burn any bridges with your family, and come back if they need you.


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## pewpew (Feb 23, 2017)

Seems to me like you wanna go more than stay, judging by your words of choice about the family and docs...


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## tacopirate (Feb 23, 2017)

I have to agree, it sounds like you have already decided it would be best to go. Tough one, man, I don't know what I'd do in that situation. Wish I could offer better advice.


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## benton (Feb 25, 2017)

Arkansas isn't going anywhere; it'll still be there any time you decide to return.

Setting aside fear of the unknown, this is not even a choice...


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