# Trash Train to Nowhere



## Ravie (Jul 7, 2009)

Well lets start off in Portland. This was right after the STP gathering and after getting to Portland two weeks early for the gathering, a week in pirate town, and another week of drunken nothing we were ready to get the hell out of Portland and head to Eugene. At the time I was squatting with Acorn, her huge pit named Carmelita, and Collin. 
We were sleeping near steel bridge beneath an underpass. If you have ever been to Portland you know this is a great hop-on-the-fly spot. Trains go by frequently and sometimes slow enough. So one morning we ride the MAX downtown, busk up some money, buy a couple tall cans and some nicotine, then head to the bridge. We wait, and wait, and wait. One train goes by, all un-ridables except the back engine but by that time the train had sped up too fast. We stay up until we see the glow of the morning sun and decide to just drink our beers and pass out.

The next day we do the same, busk and buy beer; Shlitz or something like that. This time we meet this guy and his girl before we head back to the bridge and they tag along to see a place to sleep at. We get drunk and for some reason think it’s a good idea for all of us to try to hop a train together to go south…well these kids were fucking retarded. We get the perfect train and what do they do? They don’t spread out or anything. Four people and three dogs mean…SPREAD THE FUCK OUT! So we miss our train and everyone’s pissed. We all light another cigarette and pop another beer.

I take a drag of my smoke and look to my left to see…A light! “Fuck Yeah” I say as I get up and throw on my pack. There was a train building it’s self which means an easy ride. We get up, creep past the worker station, and wait in the dark for the mass of metal to creep around the corner. After 30 minutes she comes around. I try getting on a piggy back but everyone else seemed to jump on the third engine from the front. I thought “not a great idea but whatever.” So I get on with my dog and settle in.

The train starts moving, all is good, we were unseen. Except the fact we are going east instead of south…fuck, oh well just a new adventure I guess. I sit back and smoke a cigarette in relief. The girl that got on with her boyfriend then jumped up and went outside to sit on top of the unit, I told her it was a dumb shit move but she didn’t listen of course. About fifteen minutes down the track the trains horn goes on and we stop. I’m thinking it’s no big deal until the conductor comes back to our engine. He walks in and is definitely surprised by all of us in there crouching down holding our dogs back. Acorn calmly tells the conductor that we mean no harm, wont touch anything, and will leave if he wants us to. He then gives Acorn a funny look and replies with “well apparently you are touching shit.” “what do you mean?” she says. “Well ya damn kids turned on the horn.” (we were on one of the older engines that were a little more touchier). Acorn apologized and he just told us to keep down and stay inside. He then mentioned that this was a garbage train to Arlington with was in the middle of nowhere, we didn’t think much of it and told him it was more about the ride than the destination.

After he let us be we rode for another half hour and the same chick starts walking around outside again! Then what happens? Well the train stops again, the same conductor comes back and tells us because she didn’t stay inside the cops are on their way and we should probably leave. We get the fuck out and start running down the train looking for a discrete ridable. Where do we end up? The same damn one I was originally going to get on. After waiting through forty-five minutes of flashing lights we started moving again. And it starts to rain…just to mention we were riding dirty face. Great. We pull out the tarps and fall asleep. Hours later I wake up having to piss. I hear nothing. We’re stopped. I stand up, look around, climb down the ladder and piss. We have no units connected to us at all, all I see is a lake to my left and a freeway to my right. I’m thinking “well better start walking.” I wake up Acorn and Collin, we pack up, and I go talk to the annoying couple one car down to get our tarp. Damn I wish I wouldn’t have woken them up. The first fucking thing they did was pack up as fast as they could so they could get hitching claim on the freeway 70 feet up the hill from us. After we get to the top(because acorn has a bad knee we take it easy) of course they’re already hitching so we start walking.

The next town is 3 miles away called Arlington. We walk for 10 minutes and watch our train we were just on leave without us. By this time I’m so tired I’m just laughing at the irony and I wave at the possible ride back to west Oregon. The last two miles walking was all rain. It poured, and everything we had got soaked, although after being wrist deep in garbage sludge we needed a shower. We get into town and the whole town consists of a diner, hotel, gas station, and grocery store. We go to the gas station for cigarettes. About five minutes later the annoying couple shows back up, apparently hitching at 8:00 in the morning isn’t too lively… Acorn just got her SSI check the day before to us three go to the diner, where we look like damn aliens to these people. I think they were surprised people like us existed much less had money for food. After that we look into getting a room for the night because this was definitely not the place where squatting would go unnoticed. No dice. Rodeo was in town and all the rooms were booked. Within three hours of being in town three sheriffs and two state troopers showed up. They checked our SSN, asked a lot of red-necky questions like “dang you put your head ina toilet er sumthin?” then after kissing their ass for an hour they told us if we weren’t out of town in two days we would be arrested. After trying to hitch out all day the gas station attendant took us back to his house for showers and a warm place to sleep. He was an awesome guy and even bought us beer then trusted us the next morning by our selves in his house while he went to work. So before we left and locked up we left him $15.00 on his table.

We walked back into town, bought food and more tobacco, and we were sitting by the bathrooms where we got a $100.00 kick down. Some guy just said “sorry you guys are stuck here.” And handed us a bill. We then tried hitching again and finally around 3:00 we got picked up by a cowboy who gave us a 12 pack of miller and drove us to then next town. I forgot the name but within a half hour because I threw a peace sign at a van full of drunk native Americans. There were three guys and a girl, all totally wasted. They asked where we were going, I said Eugene. They almost said they would take us to California but Eugene was all we could ask. But they were drinking way to fucking much so they asked me to drive. The whole ride I stayed sober, and very irritated. The guy in the passenger seat kept asking me if I wanted to hook up with him as he was nodding out and I had three VERY loud, drunk, never been anywhere off the reservation, back seat drivers yelling at me to pull off the freeway every ten minutes for something dumb. Take note, we were paying for ALL OF THE GAS. We then pulled off for a piss break, and acorn bought some food from jack in the box for us. Fuck, bad idea. The natives started freaking out trying to fight because acorn didn’t buy them food too. Although she did ask if they wanted anything. We were 30 seconds from a fight so I stepped in and calmed everyone down just enough to get the last 45 miles to Eugene. That 45 miles seemed like it lasted forever, like I was sitting on a ticking bomb. They all didn’t realize how far it was or where they were and were pretty pissed. We were pissed too because Acorn left the bag of food on the ground outside of the van during the fight, wich also had a fresh two packs of rollies. Everyone was mad and just wanted to get to Eugene. We finally arrived, threw our stuff out as fast as possible as the natives are talking shit and could pull away any minute. I lost my metal cantine and a couple other things from that ride, but I just wanted to get away and get drunk.

So now we finally made it to Eugene, fuck. Yeah. We get drunk in the park, sleep, wake up, drink. That night we run into a traveling folk band and we get a motel room, get very drunk, sleep, and walk to the Eugene yard. We run into some friends and catch a southbound. I rode a Canadian grainer and acorn and Collin road the next one down. Now, I’m a big girl, almost 6ft. Foxholes are not my friends. After 10+ hours in one it gets old. So I get out, sit down against the foxhole, and accidentally fall asleep. I woke up in the Klamath falls yard being woken up by a rail cop….fuck. I climb down with my dog and talk to the guy. I straight tell him I had a rough couple nights and I’m just trying to get to California to see my brother. I was very respectful and nice and the rail cop said that I’ve had a rough enough night and that he was just going to drop me off at the mission for a shower and meal. 
So I’ve gotten some good luck, but don’t eat or shower. I don’t leave my dog alone and the mission didn’t allow them inside. Then I walk to the Amtrak station, I’m tired, hadn’t eaten or even had water for more than 24 hours, and just don’t give a fuck. I wait at Amtrak for a couple hours, I have $20 to my name. I end up talking to the conductor because of my situation, I have no ID, probably not enough money, have a dog, and smell something fierce. I told him I wouldn’t be a problem and if he allowed me on I would go as far as I could get. He got me a ticket and told me to pay him when we got to Redding, ca. We arrive at 2:00 am and I try to hand him my money. He just looks at me, smiles, and told me not to worry about it. Fuck yeah. So i walk to my favorite spot to sleep by the tracks and pass out. Mission complete :arrgh:


----------



## Joe Btfsplk (Jul 7, 2009)

How were you able to get on Amtrak with a dog? Did you abandon the pet in Klamath?


----------



## Ravie (Jul 7, 2009)

CrimCon said:


> How were you able to get on Amtrak with a dog? Did you abandon the pet in Klamath?



abandon my pet?! what the fuck? no i would never do that. i keep a fake service dog vest for her on me. i can take her almost anywhere. but i would do anything for my dog above me dude, dont ever assume i'm as selfish as that.

and no arrow, we never met up again, but they did call me after they got to long beach or wherever they were.


----------



## macks (Jul 8, 2009)

Crazy adventure! The ending made me happy, the rest of it sounded frustrating.


----------



## Ravie (Jul 8, 2009)

frustrating, definately. sleeping in my special spot next to the tracks after all of it, priceless. haha


----------



## Avon Drunquist (Jul 8, 2009)

Haha. Everyone I've known that's hopped the trash train was drunk or stubborn. Did you notice the smell? Good to hear the K-Falls bull let you go!


----------



## finn (Jul 8, 2009)

Avon Drunquist said:


> Haha. Everyone I've known that's hopped the trash train was drunk or stubborn. Did you notice the smell? Good to hear the K-Falls bull let you go!



The trash train smell is really only unbearable in tunnels. Anyway, great story Ravie, if you'd told that story at the story contest at the gathering, you may have won it- though that would have required time travel.


----------



## wokofshame (Jul 8, 2009)

so that's what happened to you guys


----------



## Ravie (Jul 8, 2009)

yeah lol and actually because it was raining the garbage wasnt that bad haha it did suck that i was ankles deep in the shit though.


----------



## Acorn (Jul 21, 2009)

Oh what a fun adventure that was... Silly us


----------



## billy the kidnapper (Jul 26, 2009)

My 1st hop was a trasher. radly gnar.gnar.


----------



## Ravie (Aug 7, 2009)

haha acorn..."be very careful ravie this is an old unit and the buttons and levers are touchy!" *horn goes off*


----------

