# general long ass update..



## creature (Apr 4, 2017)

Everybody, hey..

Sorry about the radio silence since pulling out of the slabs..
Hell, even longer for Kev & Mike..

Seems it’s always one thing or another..

Now, at the present moment there is a whole ‘nother boatload of turds flowing down the sewer pipe, but I guess you’ll have to make it through *this* pile of shit, before I get to the present shovelfulls.. I actually started writing a while ago, especially since Tude hit me up & things had gone down after the Jambo, before getting whatever the fuck Caveman had, bug-wise, so I'm sorry I didn't send anything sooner over the holidays..

It wasn't for lack of knowing I should let you know how I am, it's mostly been an issue of settling down enough to find the time required to think about things with the importance they deserve.

Ordinarily this isn’t too huge an issue, but after having left the goddamned traffic in fucking SF Bay, in novemeber & coming back to the library on freaking December 24, 2016, i was thinking “Ah.. I can now catch up on:.. (insert friends, work, moral obligations, etc., here..), and have some time to write”..

Well Ha Ha haaa.. 

Sad, actually, how short happiness can be..

a lot of music, a lot of good discussions, a lot of creativity, a lot of teaching, a lot of art and writing, a lot of laughter and a lot of camaraderie and story telling..

it just sucked that i.. i won’t say have a short attention span, though that may be part of it, but that.. if i’m not focusing on just one thing, i like to do a lot of different things, throughout any given day..
to really sit down & hammer at something takes a space for me where not a lot else is going on..
once i force my ass to sit down, i can sit, but.. hell.. there’s *always* stuff that’s just as fun or important or meaningfull, even if it’s only in my imagination...

The library, of course, being the sort of community center it is, manifests whatever resources the moment might offer, for earnest travelers, well intentioned visitors & the folks that call it home..

As it came to pass, though, there were.. O, hell.. say a minimum of 10, & often 14 folks, at times, who were wintering under the auspices of the library, but were eating more canned & cold food, save what could be cooked on a propane camp stove..

not near as much as what their basic independence should otherwise have been able to freely & fairly provide..

So, however long this story may now become, it more or less begins with me starting to goddamned cook...

Now, at first this was just to be for a few days, but..
suddenly?


I have never had children, & I think this gives me the vaguest idea of what purgatory good parents go through..
so even if I have been remiss, I simply learn to respect folks whom have them, more, and pray to God I never get anyone pregnant..

Far from the Ocean, but Near to the Sun..

Now, as i said, it was fucking *wonderfull*.. i had a *great* goddamned time, & would do it again, although i would surely had made better preparations, if i were a goddamned clairvoyant.. i had no clue, when i rolled in, that the Jambo was, in its way, still going on.. ; )

Honestly?

I can’t even remember my last serious post..
right.. right.. “how to *not* be a shady fucking person” or some such.. that needs revisiting, because the water-brained fuck that told me & my traveling buddy that she was in danger cost me not only about a goddamned thousand dollars and put our fucking lives at risk, but also consequentially fucked up the preparations i had put a shitload of hours and effort into.

soo.. yeah.. maybe i’ll cover that..

fuck.,. FUUUCCKkkk...
fuck..

anyways..

right..


& my Goddamned teeth..


So, well.. before this all, I am stuck, from the end of August, 2016 to the beginning of November, 2016, with backstabbing fuckwads who have been working in my profession (boundary, construction and engineering surveying) for about 2 to 5 years (as opposed to my 30 fucking years,) .. being.. dig this.. being their fucking *bagman*, which is fine if there is trading off, or some sort of upward mobility, but NOT from day fucking 1 to the day the fucking string snaps..
it’s a long goddamned story that rides from North Dakota to Cali,, but this is typical for the assrapes that follow any attempt at simplicity & minimalism, when the available resources are generated by a culture driven by desire, consumption & a disposition that the accelerated dispersal of machine generated (rather than hand crafted) technology and baublery is the imperative & measure of the validity of human action..

i.e. “gotta get as much as you can, as soon as you can, & goddamned fuck the fucking consequences, because.. because.. well.. just because if you have more fucking *shit* faster, it’s goddamned fucking better, ok????”

goddamnn..

i remember this asshole with a goddamned vw toy flower van on his desk, under his goddamned computer monitor..

& that is as far as that goddamned fucker probably will ever come to real goddamned freedom..

poor goddamned fucking bastard..


anyways, dropping all the fucking *technical* emails that went before my hire, and clarifying almost *exactly* what i was hoping for in terms of hauling my ass out to them


well.. fuck.. here..

------
From: John July 01, 2016

Todd, Good Morning.

As I mentioned, I'm in North Dakota, now. I am still hopefull one of the larger projects will prevail...

My employer has been hit by a number of severe difficulties, and certainly not merely non-payment by clients, and yet has remained loyal to others whom have made poor use of it.

One thing I enjoy here is that when there are questions communication is immediate, and that really is one of the primary reasons I am here.

I remember checking layout on some rail support piers that a well experienced construction technician told me that a form yet to be cast was out by exactly 1', which I confirmed against plan, and concurred, delivering the information to both the sectional party chief and the survey department supervisor, and followed up the next morning to assure they both received it, though the item was *still* cast out of place, the data having been buried.
This is, in fact, why, I like working with people directly, as data is most effectively presented.

Real world variables are always more complicated than theoretical parameters, and a lack of understanding of real world variables will almost always result in one or more skewed or blown data sets.

I recall, for instance, when setting and measuring two separate distances with a *calibrated steel tape*, multiple times, and with multiple angular measurements to isolate t and thus create a strong, local, positional network solution for network for scanning and deformation purposes only, that the supervising office technician decided to "just let the software do it", and introduced an adjustment factor of about 0.04' into a network that had resolved *before* adjustment to about 0.003.

I cannot abide a working environment where people cannot directly communicate, evaluate & judge with each other.

-----------
*blah blah fucking blah blah blah.*
-----------------------------

as it is, they make their offer, telling me how excited they are to bring me on, after landing i realize i can’t keep both the little truck & the beat up tank of a van, so i figure the van will do its best as a beast, down at the library, where she makes her new home..

Afterwards, of course, i keep waiting for them to do with me what we fucking *agreed* to BEFORE hauling my ass 1,400 fucking miles to subject myself to their fucking inanity, but this never materializes;
-----------
_On Wednesday, November 16, 2016, Todd wrote:

Hi John, 
I have briefly reviewed our email correspondence prior to your hire. 
I hope you can agree that we may have both made assumptions in this endeavor.
As you stated, you were looking for long term, control and/or high precision projects, as opposed to construction staking projects and not on the type of projects you were expecting, and in turn, understand your frustration.
As you stated you did not come here to be a ‘helper’._
------------- 
*well la de dah dah dah, asshole...*
----------------------------------------------------------------

In some ways i am not too concerned, because the writing is on the wall, and after the Jambo things have developed into a full blown shit-throw, instead of me settling down a bit and being able to write & take care of a couple of initial projects..
I know, however, that i will be welcome at the library, if that’s where i need to finally settle down...

There is one bright spot, though.. Andrew the Viking pulls into town & we hit a movie.. Doctor Strange, & then wander around downtown Benicia until about 1 or 2 AM, digging some tunes & sloshing some beers at some posh fucking bar, where he disappears with a couple of strange & insane locals, until about 11:00 or 12, the next morning..

it was a good diversion... : )

In any case, after the fuckwads & i finish pissing on each other, my ex-boss has a gig up in Lacy, WA for a few days.. now.. i’m not really complaining, since i got paid, but i made the 700 & 50 fucking mile drive up there to teach him how to operate some new equipment he bought, but... but.... for some reason or other.. he winds up “taking a vacation” (which he really did need) & sits in the motel for most of the 5 days we are there. watching goddamned “game of thrones” off of his fucking DVD collection..

it’s ok..
rainy, grey, cold..
it’s ok..
i got paid..

well.. mostly, anyways...

We finish up around december first, 2016 & i decide i’m just going to make a nice, slow ride south & just putter along the coast,

& it is fucking *beautifull*
rain grey or not,

& although i am able to put together a couple of interviews, everyone was waiting for the holidays to pass, so i just kept rolling...

18 days later i roll into santa cruz, Aaautun (Adam), having replied to my post about heading south, then east, and we scrunch his large, hairy head into the small, compact truck & head out..

the trip is fun.. we hit Naciamento Road, a beautifull, beautifull place just below Big Sur.. we spend a night up there, are checked out by a cop (no doubt because all my shit in the truck was soaked from the northern rains, & i had pulled it all out to dry & organize) & as we come out we see this fellow in a neat custom rig, pull over to say hi & check it out, tell him we’re traveling & mention the cop & then he tells us that the *real* problem is some fucking land management company that has been hired by the state or feds, and wants to clamp down on folks parking along this dirt road that has been open to the public to do so for the past 70 years,.
He says he just tells them to more or less go fuck themselves, and that the rangers are the final word, & they are cool about things as they are, just so long as people don’t fuck the place up..
He keeps talking........
& talks some more..
& then, talking more, he says.. he says..
“yeah, met someone else traveling, too.. some girl from canada.. we had a good conversation, & she seemed like a good person..”

Well, talk about fucking foreshadowing.....

God Damn..

Well, we spend another night on the coast, on another dirt road this fellow had mentioned, and pull out, definitely heading for the Slabs, thinking the ride is going to be slow..

Ha ha fucking Ha Ha..

----------------------------------

We get to a spot with some cell service, i check my email, & and another StP’r has messaged:
Hey,
I just traveled through Big Sur too, I camped on Naciamiento road too actually!
I'm trying to get to friends in the slabs, but LA has me stuck. I don't know how to navigate such a large city, could I possibly join you?
Let me know!

I reply, to her

Me & Adam (aaautin) on StP) are commencing south. The truck is small & cramped. We may head to lake Isabella to do some gold panning.. Dunno, but possible..
Hope yer well, & talk to you soon..

_Awesome, I'm actually in LA now, but I'm down to meet you anywhere. I'd love to travel with you folks, LA is fucking scary. Can't call cause my phone's Canadian._

The guy in the white cube van told us about you!!! On Naciamento road, His name was John or Walt or something.. Said a Canadian girl came by.. Had to be you, right??
He was griping about the maintenance company for the park..
I'm putting some racks on the truck for extra room..
_
Oh yeah I camped near his van last week and he talked to me in the morning.
It was a beautiful spot though Let me know when you're near LA or wherever_

I figured you were famous! Funny the way things work out.. Can you get to East LA, or are you going straight to slabs?

_I am currently in West Hollywood of all places *cringe*. The woman who picked me up yesterday was worried that I didn't have anywhere to sleep and it was after dark so she gave me some cash for the hostel here. you definitely don't wanna pick me up here though it's not a fun place to drive. I have no way to get to the slabs, you're my only hope _

A damsel in distress!!
No fear!! You're good for tonight?
200 miles via I-5. We can meet up tomorrow, but if you're more comfortable with tonight, can do. I can cover hostel, if they'll take my card. Driving now, so response may be slow..

_Nah I'm fine lol 
I think I have found something for tonight. But meet up tomorrow?
Yeah I'm not keen to hitch out of LA it's a bit to daunting._

OK. We'll find a rest area or something & push through in the morning.
Look at public transport to a better/safer spot, or stay put if you feel OK.. .
We may push into Santa Monica, which will put us near you, but whatever feels safest, there.
Driving!
_
Yeah Santa Monica sounds good! If you're okay picking me up in west hollywood area tomorrow.... Then that'd be awesome. I understand if not though._

Anything works.. Just did a mod to the truck, so more room : )
Driving!

_101, awesome. Yeah I'm good for tonight! Someone else gave me money... I'm really striking lucky here. So I'm at the hostel on fairfax rd._

If they have a #, I may see about us crashing there, too..
_
Yeah I'm sure there's room! It's 3236552002 give em a call
_
Cool.. Got it.. Banana Bungalow..
28$.. Cool.. May make it in by 10 or 11
Glad yer Safe.. Good going : ). !!!
Over & out 

---------------------------------------------- 

Now begins one of, if not *the* single greatest civilian ass-rape episodes of my existence..

i mean.. i’ve been fucked by employers, exceedingly, exceedingly, exceedingly heavily..
to the point that i’ve come to expect it, in fact..

i’ve been ass raped slowly, also, but over the course of a period of time..
painfully, of course & sometimes in such a fashion that the damage is *never* repaired (as those whom have seen my unadorned smile can attest to..)

i’ve been ass-raped by bill gates, by fucking computers & goddamned department stores..

i have been ass raped by people telling me fucking stories & jerking my string, who are only interested in how much they can milk from me either emotionally or in terms of resources, ranging from days to possibly years..

i have had my ass raped, also, by fucking idiots who just get off on doing it, but don’t tell you, until they take whatever rock it is that they think that will fuck shit up most & shove it right up the shit hole & give you a “La la la!! Bet you didn’t see *that* one coming!!” because, hey? when the only difference you can make in other people’s existences is to either scare the shit out of them or fuck them up as much as possible, it’s cool!! so go ahead & do it as much as possible!!

& yeah.. i have probably fucked some folks over, too, so.. maybe i just fucking deserve it..

in any case...

we get down to goddamned fucking LA.. now, this is not just any fucking trip..
this.. this.. this fucking *c--t*, as above, says she’s scared, she says she’d like to travel with us, says she is short on money says she is going to the slabs, and says that she has no other way out of LA, and generally gives the impression that she’s not in the safest space..
i’ve *been* in fucking LA, and i do not want to head there, but she’s a fucking *STP’r*, for christ’s fucking sake, so that will make 3 of us, & goddamned, that’s better than just jumping in a vehicle from CL, ya think???

fuck..

I even extend the outreach of meeting her where she fucking is (just as i did to Adam), and which she not only *agrees* to, but *helps to fucking arrange*, so as far as i can tell, barring her being truly fucked up, we will probably be helping a sis out who may enjoy helping direct us on whatever adventure the travel ahead may bring, even if it’s just to the library..

hell.. in fact she says her friends are *across* from the library, or some such, soo..
Naciamento Road connection, StP connection, library connection... sounds ok to me...

From the road that me & Adam pull out on, it is about 230 miles to LA, and the rain fucking sucks.. we are on CA1, so the initial 50, cutting over on CA41 into Paso Robles is a slow fucking hack.. in any case, i follow the GPS, and it puts me on this secondary highway right around 5PM, at fucking sunset, which, the sky being what it is, is as good as nightfall.
Adam & i both discuss this, and try to put our heads together about how her situation sounds, and we decide to just keep fucking going.

Assholes that we fucking are..

Now.. i have driven..
i have fucking driven...
i have driven through NYC in shit deep floodwaters..
i have driven on dirt trails in a fucking 25 year old Datsun..
i have gone across country with bungee cords for door handles..
i have driven the darkest, most curvaceous parts of CA1 at 2 fucking AM, i have driven down & up mountain fire service roads, 7 feet wide, & maybe less, with football size rocks destroying the underbelly of my fucking little Camry, with 200 foot goddamned drop offs in fucking **REVERSE** & i have driven in fucking blizzards for fucking hours where visibility is about twenty fucking feet or less, and i will tell you..
this fucking ride to LA in that weather at that time of night on the fucking shitty route that the GPS said was ‘fastest’ was one of the most dangerous rides i’ve ever done.
No shit..

potholes, narrow fucking lanes, fighting against highbeams in a fucking torrential downpour for probably 120 miles or more..
but we did it..
we got down there to help her get her scared little ass out of LA, idiot fucking idiot that i am..

now, i am going to digress, & press a question which may be metaphysical..
Socrates said he heard an ‘inner voice’, but only when it was to warn him. “which always forbids, but never bids, me to do anything which I am going to do”
Now.. i dunno about anyone else, but.. have you ever tried to do something that *should* be easy.. pretty well much as easy as drinking coffee, only to have every step of the way complicated, blockaded or otherwise somehow sabotaged by elements and timing beyond your control?
& that the harder you push, the more fucked up it become???

now.. i don’t mean piddly shit.. but, protracted resistance that you find, after all is said & done, that you shouldn’t have fucking done, in the first place?

does existence actually & truly have any operatives like that which actually interact with us??

i, being a rationalist, would sure as fuck say no, but also knowing that there is a shitload of shit beyond rationality just WISH I COULD FIGURE IT THE FUCK OUT, OR HAVE THE GODDAMNED PATIENCE TO LEARN!!!

in any case, i once ***again*** blow my own goddamned foot off...
anyways, we make it..
i crunch my goddamned cargo carrier getting into the parking garage, and although i know it is LA and i am running the risk of my bike getting ripped off, i do, in fact, keep my goddamned promise, & that is the main thing.

Now, we meet, first.. her & Adam and I, after we land, and she gets to meet me..
&.. i’m not sure, but i know she had posted a thread, too, and that i pointed her to mine, after which she convo’d me.. my best recollection is that i told her i was goddamned older & a bald fuck, etc., but when we meet i note she’s disappointed.. i don’t know what she was expecting..
i tell her it was a hell of a drive down, & that i was tired, & that we should talk in the morning, etc., and we messaged each other about leaving:

--Rain's supposed to stop by 8 AM. When do you want to head out?

_I'm not sure, when works for you?_

BTW we're in room 101.. Need to find out about breakfast, here..
Def after that.. Should be no more than 5 hrs to the slabs, I don't drive fast, and coming down here was hell, so slow is what I'm after..
Damn truck is a manual with no power steering..
If yer up & we're not, I think the door is unlocked.. Otherwise we'll just run into each other..

& after that i wake up to this:


_Hey so I'm not going to ride with you guys. I understand that you went out of your way to come to me, I'm sorry it worked out that way. I never wanted to be an inconvenience. I hope that you're happy staying at the hostel anyways, btw breakfast is 8-11 and they have toast and cereal and things!
I need to make some $$, and I got someone who wants to busk with me at venice beach tomorrow. So I'm going to do that instead. I'd love to ride with y'all but this is an opportunity I can't pass up. See ya in the am and in the slabs _

Well.. Adam & i head down to the truck, only to find my bike has been stolen (my own goddamned fault, and i could have lived with it, if the .. coughg.. coughg, gggaaggg... ahhhkkkkcckk.. ‘rescue’ had been effective, but for this fucking cunt to just throw the switch like that, without even fucking talking to us..
it’s like, “man.. why the FUCK didn’t i listen????”

anyways..

it’s actually worse than that, but enough is enough..

although i did post the “how not to be shady & untrustworthy”, immediately afterwards..
https://squattheplanet.com/threads/how-to-not-be-shady-untrustworthy.29937/

anyways..

We pull out & wind up at the Slabs, on Christmas eve, & i take over the fucking kitchen..

life is a bitch, but i begin to feel better..

----------------------------------- 

Well.. we had a good, solid month of camaraderie, & with the.. i dunno.. how many were there?
the first couple of weeks were kinda like a micro-Jambo : )

After folks split for Quartzite & east, it quieted down a bit, and just about the first week in February I started working on my truck..

Now, right before pulling out, Caveman got sick for a few days, & mind you, as all of you have met him know, he is 20some years old, 6' & ex-military in super good shape, with feet made of goddamned buffalo hide, & i think that although he feels shitty for a total of 4 or 5 days, he is off his feet for only 1..

i however, have started to cough.. & i am not 26, anymore.. for about 5 days I am not quite down, but i feel shitty & ass dragging, since the worst of it has not hit..
nonetheless, on Feb 8, 2017, i have completed my preparations to split, having built a cab-over carrier, attached to the truck's bolt on cage & have thrown away a lot of shit, done some final work on the van & have packed shit up..

i am, however, still uncertain if I should head back north for work or to florida to see mom..

In the first case, if I stayed on the coast, there was no guarantee I would see my mom in the next year or two, and she is 89, which means she could keel over any day & i would feel like shit if i dinna make it home before that happened.

On the other hand, I knew that if i *did* return here, i would be fucking trapped, & i fucking HHHAAAATTTEEEE fucking florida..

i fucking hate it..

did i mention that i fucking HATE fucking florida??

because honestly?

i do.

errgghh...

i was thinking of flying out, but.. family consensus at the moment is that it's best for someone to be here, at least in the short term.. besides, my *mom* is sick, too, and the last thing i want is to bring something into her house... i do not know just *how* sick i am, at this point, sooo.. i drive out..

Now, at the time I am thinking it may take me *maybe* 2 weeks to get here (3200 miles), if I do about 300 miles a day.. take it easy on the truck, and drive with stops for about 8 hours a day.. probably less, but 2 weeks, *max*. After all, I have a friend I used to work for in Phoenix, and some other friends in Prescott, AZ, and may see my sister in NC, too, so a few days for visiting folks & getting some decent sleep..

My timing on the way in was just about right, even though I was feeling less than 100%, coming out of the library.. when hit Yuma, I wasn’t sure if I should keep going or not, but I spent 3 days, thinking about getting some dental work done over the border, but my timing for that wasn’t too good. In any case the cough had been coming and going, so I just stayed still for a few days as far south as I could, hoping the it wouldn’t get any worse..
On the evening of day 3 & the morning of day 4 in Yuma, I don’t feel too bad, & figure it’s just about over.. it has now been.. i dunno.. 10 days since I first felt shitty, now, pulling out of Yuma, I feel ok..
I follow through with a call to my buddy Jeff & we have lunch & I get back on the road...

Well.. Sirius & Dragon shoot me a text.. I thought they were in Austin or somewhere, but it turns out they are in Jerome, AZ, actually along the route into Prescott, staying at an art studio, helping prep a theater up for a show, and they invite me to stay for a bit..
The timing is quite good, I pull into Jerome & hang for a couple of days, but I am starting to feel sick again, & figure I should pull out..

The day i leave, i start running a temperature.. by the time night rolls around, i am hacking and shivering..
AND i am on the road, which makes being sick even more of a bitch..
In any case, I pull into Prescott, sick, and no way am i going to visit anyone if i have what i think i may have & all i can fucking think is “holy shit!! i hope this isn’t persistent bronchitis or some fucking shit!!!”
in any case, instead of having a nice place to crash & visit for an evening or two, i wind up at a goddamned campground, fairly late in the evening and it is fucking drizzling out.. *and* it is goddamned cold..
I hadn't expected to break camp, so all i do is lean over sideways & keep the truck running with the heater on for the evening..
Yes... this is *exactly* what my body needs to combat the intrusion.. i think i sleep for about 4 hours, total, and when sunrise finally hits, i am loaded with this grey green crap that will not stop coming out of me..

great..

well.. i had promised a couple of other friends I would look at their vehicles, and warn them i am probably contagious, but that before i split, i will do what i can..
suffice it to say that the vehicles together take about a day to repair, after which Bonnie & Becky & Vince tell me "John, you can stay in the 'Pecan House' for as long as you need to.."
I am exceedingly grateful, & i wind up staying for a little more than a week..

I would have been completely *screwed* if i had had to have stayed in the truck..
in the first place, i couldn't go to florida & bring the damn sickness with me, & in the second place, you can't fight an illness in winter in a fucking tent..

the house is *great*.. I take a room upstairs with hot water, a shower, a decent bed & a microwave, downstairs.
no one else is staying there, because the house is used for processing pecans from the pecan farm on another piece of property, but the family lives here, up on the hillside & near a couple of nice ponds, so it turns out I'm all by myself, & don't have to worry about infecting anyone (or so i think.......)

Anyways, after i hit the bed, for about 3 days i'm barely able to move.. green & gray shit keeps coming out of me, and i *know* it was the night in the campground when the shit had crawled into my chest & decided to stay.

On day 4, i'm ambulatory & get to work.. the pecan farm is a new family venture, and methods for sorting and gathering are being explored..

i begin experimenting.........

in any case, by the time i'm ready to leave, i've fixed the vehicles, helped to put in a drain for a 10,000 gallon cistern, done a little plumbing work, put in a 240v socket, cleaned a chimney & built a fairly decent prototype Pecan Sorter, from scratch, even if it does look a bit like a rickshaw..

I am ready to leave the morning of day 8, still hanging onto a small, wet cough, but i know i should be ok..
I head over to Becky's cabin to check on things before heading out,& it is at this point she coughs a small, wet cough and says "I think I'm going to stay in bed, John. I don't feel too well.."

O shit..

Shit..

So I split a 1/4 cord of wood for her stove for her to burn over the next week and i don't recall exactly what else, but I wind up leaving the morning of day 9, instead, at which point Bonnie, her mom, texts me & says "John, I'm sorry I can't come down to say goodbye, but I'm not feeling well.."

“O FUCK!” i think.. “Shit!!”

Anyways, it turns out they got over it a bit more quickly, probably because they stayed warm & had decent food while recovering, but it is now 21 fucking days since i first picked up this fucking bug..
I'm feeling ok, & i pull out, but don't travel too hard, just to make sure i am 100% over it, by the time i hit florida...

My friend, Korean John, who is indirectly linked to an StP initiated existential tempest in.. 2014..? is the equally main reason i’ve decided to hit Prescott..
We had met through John Human (StP) & found some truly basic common ground, with a pretty neat household springing up in a large downtown cottage, spring of.. 2015..? 
Anyways, it was good to see him & we traded off some music, plus he got some pretty neat e-books : )

There are so many good people & so many good places i get to..
why are none of them near the ocean??

the real, true, honest to God Ocean....

-------- 

So... I make it to flordia..

did i mention i hate florida?

i do..

i truly fucking do... i am **still** fucking
coughing & hacking as i drive, though nothing too bad, but i’m still unsure how long i should wait before landing at my mom’s
i go slow & right around the 3rd or 4th of March, i’m feeling pretty well much 100%, so i decide to finish up the ride, & finally make it to florida, 26 days after leaving California..

which would be about right, actually, if i hadn’t been in such a damn rush...

What a fucking pain in the ass...

In any case, i get here & i think "Ok!! now i can catch up on some things!!!"

however....

Surprise!!!

My sisters are coming to visit!!

i have 3 days to settle down, before i suddenly find myself manservant to 4 women, all in their 60’s, 70’s and 80’s..

it’s good to see them, but i really, really, really, REALLY want to sit down and start catching up on some of the shit i HAVE BEEN TRYING TO GET DONE SINCE FUCKING DECEMBER!!!!

anyways.. the last of my sisters pulled out around the 20th, & i’m still not sure how mom is doing.. i dunno..
some days she seems great, some days she seems down..

in any case, i get this update started..

now i *have*, in fact, got some other stuff out the door..
a friend who is slowly passing away, and another two professional letters that are essential to keep maintain continuity of references (not to mention all the shit that went down between me, my union & the shithead company in SF Bay..), but what i want is to settle down & get back *here*, because you fuckers really are as important to me as anyone else i love...

but.. we’re not done yet..

something else going down is my asshole, neurotic, ball-less 'friend' down near Miami..
this shithead stiffed me for a grand about 7 years ago, when all i had was $4,000, crying about not having AC in his fucking car, and a fucking sob-story that called on our previous 10 years of fucking friendship, only to have him not repay me.. now in itself, i could deal with that, because life just fucks up..
however..
he also swore that if i needed a place in florida, i would always be welcome..
well.. i call him a couple of months later, if even that, since the mortgage funny money ran dry, & i have to look for work, and, guess what??
he’s like “WTF?? you can’t come here!!”
& it wasn't even about family issues or girlfriends or anything..
it was about fucking *parking*..
anyways.. i told him to go to hell & fuck the money & just fuck off..
well.. last year he calls back, apologizes profusely, accepts all the guilt, says it was fucked up & could i please forgive him...
& asshole that i am, i do (though pester him at first about the grand..)

well.. i walk him through a shitload of some pretty tough stuff.. not that is life is actually all that hard, at all, but he is mildly neurotic with compulsive verbal habits, **constantly** texting me, and i’m stupid enough to tolerate him & sap my fucking time up..
2 fucking psycho girls, his cat’s death, his relocation problems & all the financial shit he is constantly complaining about.. 
which is fine..
he used to be a stockbroker, exceedingly well of, etc. etc..
then there was a fucking wife..

& that came to a fucking end, some 25 years or so ago.. 
he had a fairly large cache of liquidity informally managed by his ex-firm, and was able to subsist nicely until 2008, when they went under.. suddenly he was damn near penniless, without enough to fix his goddamned AC..

Anyways.. he’s now driving for uber, part time, and for the past 4 months he has been telling me i should leave cali & come to florida & the offer is still open..

right..

i am not *that* stupid, but i am hoping he may actually come through, since the economy is good & i can at least hand him some rent, because work is pretty simple to find..

ever since leaving cali, i have tried to broach the subject with varying degrees of seriousness, & a few days ago, when i try to finally get a straight fucking answer out of him, the asswad says “we’ll talk about it later.. i have to go watch wrestlemania!”

fucking great.

& i flush the fucking toilet, again...

& that just about brings things up to date, almost ½ a fucking year since the 10/16 fucking Jambo..
sooo...

there you go..

there’s other stuff, too, of course..

if fucking trump weren’t such a disaster, i’d probably rant, but as i said, way back in september or whenever, he may actually be tyhe best candidate of all, because he is going to fucking destabilize *everything*...

god knows i have no desire to see famine, and that what we may see precipitate out of this is war, but this species *has* to figure oiut it has to answer to this fucking planet as a closed, self-sustaining system.

if nature doesn’t make the demand of us externally, she will surely make it an issue that we flail upon ourselves..

suffice it to say that i need to get back to work..
i dunno if i’ll ever get my boat, but there are some busted up hulls around here, cheap..

sooo.. maybe *something* good will come out of this fucking hellhole fucking state..

love, mofos..


C


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## MolotovMocktail (Apr 4, 2017)

Damn, sounds like a tough time. I was talking with a friend the other day about why there are so many shitty travelers out there and my theory boils down to the intensity of traveling the way we do. When you're on the road, the shitty things that happen to you are devastating and the good things are awe-inspiring. That doesn't excuse shitty behavior but it sort of makes sense that the extremes of traveling bring out the real side of a person.

That's insane that after making the treacherous trip to give this woman a ride, she passed it up just to _go busking for a day. _Like yeah, having money is nice but someone just busted their ass going way out of the way to help you out and you ditch them so you can make a little bit of cash? It bums me out that there are people who take advantage of people's generosity that way.

Sounds like quite a shitstorm you were subjected to. Glad you came out on the other side and are looking onwards to the future. I saw your generosity and dedication to the traveling community during the Jambo and think I can speak for all of StP when I say that it's appreciated. There aren't many people out there that do what you do for travelers and you deserve much better adventures than what you detailed here. 

Safe travels!


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## Shwillam (Apr 4, 2017)

I'm sorry you got so sick after you took off from Jerome man! That sucks 

Thanks for the update! I know your pain for having to be in Florida. Stay safe out there buddy. I hope you get on a boat before too long


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## Tude (Apr 4, 2017)

Holy Shit John - no wonder I or we have not heard from you!!!! 

So glad to hear from you, - you are an extremely kind person who goes out of their way to help people and that is awesome. I do hope the future works out for you - BOAT - work - life!  I'm looking for that as well (but the boat is yours). DO keep in touch my friend.  

But of course I hope to hear from you cause I shall annoy you with pm's.


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## AAAutin (Apr 6, 2017)

Holy hell, what a read! You're bound to be published one of these days, dammit.

(As my large head only grows hairier by the day...)


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## Bedheadred (Apr 11, 2017)

Wow.. glad to see you're alive and well. I just went to Florida to visit my parents and fix up my van, I fucking hate that state and just left this morning. Hope you get out of there soon and stay safe!


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## creature (Apr 16, 2017)

Oiy.. thank you all for your friendship..

Oiy...

Oiy oiy oiy Oiy oiy..

; )

love ya all, too..

well.. good news!!!

(as most of ya might know =

@Cornelius-vango told me of my good fortune, & it was a little too good to let pass pass up without sharing.. : )=

"Oh hey, guess what we found lying in the sand yesterday..."








unfortunately, i'd already shrunk my head, so they would fit better...







have i mentioned that i fucking hate florida...?

or at least the 450 fucking mile long mall, on just the east coast, alone?

Christ..


i need therapy..

i need to rant..
but not yet...

i need more sake'..


i miss the Ocean..

Mom..

O my God..

O, mother..

she is, essentially, 90..

she thinks i am here to look for work..
i have work coming out my ass on the west coast, which is where i want to be..

coming here, to keep an eye on her, cost me everything i could have used to stay where it is that i love most..

you think yer folks drive you nuts, now?
just fucking wait..

just fucking wait..

there is a certain damnation that goes with most blessings, i think..
it is called, perhaps "nothing is perfect"..

why.. oh *why* does there have to be something as stupid & arbitrary & useless as 'balance' in the universe??

that for every donuld trumphf & elong musky, & every other asshole stuffed with power and belongings..

why must there be, in fact, nearly a million, with less than they need to simply exist in peace?

what kind of fucking concept is "balance", if that is the best it can fucking do???

i wish the universe would just leave us the fuck alone, if all it can do is fuck us the fuck up...

anyways..

i got sidetracked.. sorry if this is disappointing..

after i get some sleep i may remember WTF i wanted to scream about, other than the usual..

but.. 2 more posts, before anything else...

please, O God of Love & the Universe, or whatever fucking empty space my head fills with nonexistents..
please,
PLEASE..

snuff me quickly. before i begin to either forget or become to weak to earn my way..

please.. make the rain that passed with a rain come to good end...


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## DrewSTNY (Apr 16, 2017)

creature said:


> please, O God of Love & the Universe, or whatever fucking empty space my head fills with nonexistents..
> please,
> PLEASE..
> 
> ...



I hear you, man. My mother is going to be 70 this year, but she needs financial help from us, and it's not easy when we are trying to get our shit together from all the stupid mistakes we made when we were younger.

I've said for a long time that whatever ailes me and causes my death, I hope it is quick. Cancer may be painful, but it will be my ticket out of here. If I loose my mind and get Alzheimer's or whatever, just let me drool on myself and watch TV all day. Say your goodbyes and let me go-I won't remember you in five minutes anyway.

Glad you got your head shrunk, maybe you'll fit through the doorway now. ::wacky::


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## creature (May 3, 2017)

Soo.. Minor update, here, since y'all who care for me most give me the empathy that actually gives me a sort of profound joy, when i go off on my rants..

After landing in Hellada.. I mean Florida.. I've started a new job..
The money isn't too good, but if the company holds to the terms I accepted the job for, it could be OK.. I'm supposed to be on the road most of the time, with some extra per diem cash, which though doesnt actually even come close to making it even almost worth it, it does help me work out some of the options i've been trying to put in front of me regarding mom, a boat, another road trip, or heading back to the west coast..
Hell.. who knows.. maybe Maine..

If, however, I get fucked & they want me to drive to the shop every day, I will quit the moment that becomes clear, because being on the road for work keeps me from having to deal with the perceptual differences of circumstances common between my mom & myself..
If I am going to stay in this hellhole state I need a base of operations, not a place to live, because I'll be damned before I pay rent here (other than some cash to mom), when I would work for a hell of a lot less on the west coast, just to be near a real fucking coastline..

Boats are cheap, here.. I may post up about it a bit later, but I have to talk to my brother & sister, because if I'm not doing all that much good here, I'd rather help at a distance, from where I might actually be marginally happy.

Every time I meet one of you fuckers, & hopefully drag your asses along, a little bit, I feel good, so I'm down for that, too..

A boat & crew is major undertaking, & could require 6 months to get the bread together to even shop for one.

I'm thinking of Maine, because that at least keeps me on the east coast, & winters be damned, the Ocean, there, also throws Itself against Stones..

Hopefully the work here will mostly be in the country & along the canals, in which case Florida is actually rather beautifull, though a bit flat for me..

This week is a good project, & if it continues this way, it'll be fine, but the owners said a couple of things after my hire that have a bit of the smell of "bait & switch"..

We'll see..

Anyways.. I still need a charger for my computer, but I'm getting used to relying mostly on the phone, so possibly I'll post up about a boat, soon.

I hate this fucking autocorrect shit, though.. Need to fix it, tonight..

Fucking thing thinks my ellipses are fucking periods & starts every goddamned word aftervwith a cap... See... What.. I.. Mean?

Coming in from work, now..

Thanks for all of you..


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## DrewSTNY (May 4, 2017)

Maine sounds fun. I spent my formational years there until I was 15. Have tons of family there. I don't know how they manage it. When I looked at moving back, the cost of a house put me off. Where I am at now, you can still find a decent home for under 60k$ which makes paying a mortgage not bad to have a home base to launch from.

I miss being on the coast, been land locked for nearly 20 years now.


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