# East Jesus: Post-Apocalyptic Life In A Pre-Apocalyptic World



## katbastard

*an experimental, habitable, extensible artwork in progress*​* in Slab City, California*​* Pop. ?, Elev. 75*​
“The end of the world already happened, didn’t you know that?”
-- Charles "Chasterus" Russell
Creator of East Jesus, R.I.P. 


Wedged between the Chocolate Mountain Gunnery Range and the Salton Sea in southern California's exotic Imperial Valley, _East Jesus_ is an experimental, comprehensive habitat and artwork comprising vernacular architecture, technophilia, common-sense environmentalism, desert survival and sculpture/assemblage using predominantly recycled, re-purposed or discarded materials, sublimating the unwanted and ugly into the purposefully beautiful. The main structure is built around a 27' fiberglass shipping container, extended by walls composed of junk (lockers, computers, refrigerators, microwave ovens, bookshelves, tool chests, shipping crates, TVs and other electronics) and recycled, re-used lumber and steel. A contiguous shade structure connects the main container to a two-level 24' trailer (found abandoned and stripped) through a row of desert ironwood trees, which themselves serve as structural elements. Begun February of 2007, the main habitat continues to grow and evolve. Adjoining the habitat is a sculpture garden whose constituents are made exclusively of junk from the immediate area, also growing and evolving. The large, open shaded area has become home to a surprising variety of wildlife - lizards, rabbits, quail, hummingbirds, woodpeckers and other avian species call East Jesus home.

The name East Jesus is whimsical, derived from the American idiomatic expression used to describe a remote, presumably uninteresting place. It is also a nod of admiration to the nearby folk art masterpiece, Salvation Mountain, but is not affiliated with it nor any other religious organization. East Jesus is the home of the Slab City Gun Club, the Slab City Zen Center, A growing community of pioneering artists, engineers and ne'er-do-wells, call East Jesus their home away from home, a retreat from their stressful jet-age lifestyle in a calm, inspiring and majestic desert landscape with a few "thrills of excitement" provided by military operations in the bombing range. Collaborative projects are encouraged, iconoclasts are invited, camping is always free and a few guest rooms are available.


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## katbastard

*East Jesus Survival Guide*


-1) BEFORE YOU EVEN GET HERE there are things to consider. Why do you even want to come and bother us in the first place? Well, OK, but if you do, please don’t plan on camping out for more than a couple days, unless you’ve intent on rolling up your sleeves and helping us out with some labor, building an awesome sculpture, or catering to our personal whims. This isn’t a dumb ass hippie commune. This is us, living life the way we want to. We have work to do. Either you’re entertaining us, helping out with what needs to be done, or you’re slowing us down. Call or email ahead, 24 hours notice is greatly appreciated. IN CASE OF RAIN, travel north of Niland is *not* recommended. Even small amounts of rain can cause the washes to run deep and turn your beloved automobile into a submarine, exposed to oncoming traffic. Also, NEVER arrive after dark (see rule 2 below.)

-0.5) WITH AN EVER-INCREASING NUMBER OF VISITORS, the expense of keeping shop is growing. If you ask to come camp out for a night or two, I ask for a $5/night donation per person. This helps pay for the peat moss, tips the janitor (the person in smelly gloves and overalls) a little something for schlepping your and feces and helps defray the cost of all the little things you probably take for granted, like wireless internet, One Jillion Megawatts of power in the middle of fucking nowhere, and that spoon of mine you forgot to return that one time. Buying a t-shirt is so last year, but there are still a few I need to unload. $20 each. But don’t fogret to stick your five bucks a night in the donation box. We are watching. Bringing a warm beer or some piece of rusty iron covered with dog shit you found in the desert and thought was “cool” does not exempt you from this. However, we will credit you one night’s rent for every 50-gal contractor bag full of native trash (not yours) you take out with you for proper disposal elsewhere.

0) RULE ZERO IS: DO NOT PISS US OFF. Any questions? Refer to Rule Zero.

0.5) PACK IT IN, PACK IT OUT / LEAVE NO TRACE. Be prepared to take everything you brought back out with you. The surrounding area, where you may be camping, is pretty trashy, but this does not magically give you permission to leave more trash. In fact, I expect you to leave your campground a tad neater and cleaner than you found it. Don’t leave plastic bottles and tampons in the fire pits, kids.

1) **UNLESS** THERE IS A SCHEDULED EVENT, if you plan to camp out here or even just visit, DO NOT ARRIVE AFTER DARK. Either show up before dark or spend the night elsewhere. No discussion, no exceptions. Also, even if you have been here before, DO NOT SHOW UP AFTER DARK WITHOUT PRIOR NOTICE AND APPROVAL. No discussion, no exceptions. Accept it and deal with it and plan accordingly. Given the nature of Slab City and some of its inhabitants, unexpected visitors after dark are presumed to be trespassing with ill intent and risk staring down the barrel of a 12GA.

2) Thanks for bringing food & cold ones to share, but there is NO REFRIGERATOR SPACE, PERIOD (except if you are staying in the Transit Antenna bus.) There are coolers you can use, but don’t bring a bag of groceries and a case of beer without also bringing some ice to keep it cool, because our private fridge is TINY and old and non-user-friendly and has NO SPACE for your perishables, capiche?

3) “Facilities:” NEW!! In the spirit of recycling absolutely everything, East Jesus now composts human waste. Basically, you piss and poop in a 5-gallon bucket, cover it up liberally with peat moss (provided) and notifying the us when it gets full. This is actually a very sanitary and odor-free system, and it’s *good* for the environment. Nothing in the buckets but your human ordure, peat moss, toilet paper, toilet paper rolls and baby wipes (nothing with plastic.) Athankew.

do you feel lucky, punk?

4) EAST JESUS IS NOT A FUCKING ASHTRAY. Smoking is permitted. Go ahead, they’re your lungs. IF WE FIND ONE SINGLE BUTT ON THE GROUND WE WILL FUCKING KILL YOU. That means you will be dead, and it will hurt like hell the whole time you’re dying. If you insist on smoking filter cigarettes, you must bring an Altoids tin or equivalent portable ashtray, and take every single god damned butt out with you, or eat it, or whatever. If you leave butts on the ground, We will know it was you and you will pay dearly. If you knew how many times We've bent over to pick up butts, and how much it hurts when We do this, and how much the sight of cigarette butts on the ground fills us with murderous bile, you would understand. You may dump your butts (along with paper, cardboard or any other clean-burning refuse) into one of the burn barrels.

5) Recycling: EVERYONE GETS THIS WRONG. SO WILL YOU. But We won’t kill you over it, we'll just yell at you. ALL RECYCLING ITEMS MUST HAVE “CA CASH VALUE” OR “CA CRV” CLEARLY PRINTED ON THEM, OTHERWISE THEY ARE TRASH. I fucking HATE picking pieces of trash out of the recycling bins. Hey, hippie, don’t just hand us a bag full of beer cans, bottles full of cigarette butts, and a half-eaten apple and expect me to be happy about it.


6) ILLEGAL DRUGS ARE STILL ILLEGAL. NOTE WELL: NOTHING ILLEGAL IN IMPERIAL COUNTY, THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA OR THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA BECOMES MAGICALLY LEGAL HERE IN SLAB CITY. IF YOU BREAK THE LAW, YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN, AND GOOD RIDDANCE.


6.5) Likewise, FIREARMS must be used in designated areas only and fireworks are illegal in this county. Don’t screw around with fire or flame in the compound, we *encourages* responsible firearms owners with valid CA CCW licenses to pack heat. There is a clothing-optional firing range on the premises. No shooting during musical performances, please.

7) Stay the fuck out of the music room unless you are a bona fide musician. NO DRINKS ANYWHERE NEAR THE PIANO. Period. No, that’s not a *baby* grand. It’s a fucking full-size studio grand, OK? Six feet. And it’s valuable and very sensitive to liquids and jackassery.

8.1) Electric power & internet: here we are actually far more advanced than some developing nations. Yes, we have plenty of juice for charging your laptop, cell phone, camera, deluxe bunny vibrator, etc. Just plug in. If you want to power some kind of ridiculously heavy load, we can probably do it, but ask first. There is an 802.11-N (WiFi) network protected by WPA2 encryption. Ask the us for the password.


9) Petting zoo: black widows, scorpions, centipedes, vinegaroons, rattlesnakes and the occasional tarantula all live and work here. They do not want to bite or sting you, but can be deadly if provoked. If you don’t fuck with them, you’ll be fine. Never stick your hands or feet anywhere you can’t see, especially close to the ground. If you actually see one of these worthy, noble creatures, don’t fucking freak out. It’s more scared of you than you are of it and will try to get away if you let it. Horseflies are a much bigger threat. A horsefly will cut you the proverbial New One. They can eat through your motorcycle jacket to get at your blood. Then they lay eggs in your brain. Shut up, it’s true! Wearing white or bright colors makes them much less interested in biting you.


10) PARKING: it’s pretty lax, but be sure you’re not blocking either of the main gates on Sidewinder, in case of water delivery or the need for a speedy getaway. Don’t make me get my forklift. OK, OK, I don’t have a forklift. But my friend Tiny does. You wanna mess with Tiny?

11) THE SCULPTURE GARDEN. Don’t assume you have some God-given right to change stuff. Ask first.


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## katbastard




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## katbastard




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## katbastard




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## meathook

love those pictures dude. looks like a badass place.


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## DaisyDoom

Duuude I just want to be there already!


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## Hobacalypse

I love that place!!!!!


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## mimijuana

Container Charlie Died?


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## katbastard

http://squattheplanet.com/threads/r-i-p-container-charlie.8250/


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## uncle steve

swweeeet east jesus how i miss you. PEPPPER giiirl you tha pepstars. i miss you.


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## uncle steve

P.s. you never sent me those peeks. and im coming to see u sooon. and i cant wait for the chicken palace.



EJPepper said:


> Hey Guys,
> 
> Pepper checking in on this. I'm the caretaker over at East Jesus and I just wanted to throw down my own input on what I'M doing here and what you will be helping if you donate, or if you come here to work for a while. We had a series of irresponsible people screwing the place up, and we're not going to let that happen anymore.
> 
> Kat Bastard, myself, his girlfriend Penny, and a rotating crew of other awesome folks are working tirelessly to make this place awesome. We unfortunately do not receive government funding (dicks), but we fortunately don't pay any rent. We need money to start our aquaponics food growth system, finish our massive epic bottle wall, start our extension of the library of knowledge, create the infamous Chicken Palace, and much more. You're also welcome to come out and work, stay for a while, as long as you make an appointment. If you want to stay for longer, you definitely need to fill out an application.
> 
> In the words of Charlie, DO NOT PISS US OFF. If you are sheisty, looking to monopolize on what we have, or are just a lazy hippie, this place isn't for you. We need genuine support because we are looking to succeed and achieve. This is a really special, fun place to be (just like Chuck E. Cheese.'s).
> 
> In other news, we're actually pretty nice, reasonable human beings who just want to make things work in a very difficult and unique environment. Halp and I will love you.
> 
> PICK UP YOUR BUTTS,
> LOVE PEPPER


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## Puckett

This is a bad ass place, so glad to be here.


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## dprogram

I totally understand having to be hardcore about the rules. But damn. I can't believe people have to be told to be respectful. Sorry you had to put it all like that man. Some people are parasites and that's the way the world works. I really wish there were a place like the Slabs (in theory) but NOT in the desert...like in the mountains. =) Good luck you guys. Mad Props!


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## dprogram

Can chickens survive out there in that heat? If so I could bring a couple if I come that way. Eggs are a really good source of protein and very easy to cook...just cant eat the chickens though b/c then you'd have no eggs. =)


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## Matt Derrick

you'd probably have to take them inside during the summer, but i know someone that has chickens out there and they're okay most of the time.


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## katbastard

we have an awesome chicken coop and will be starting egg laying chickens real soon


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## katbastard

humanure…check
solar power system…check
awesome people…check
great library…check
hydroponics…stared tests
wind power system…working on it
100% off grid…check
DONATIONS…NEEDED!




Click This Link To Donate


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## dprogram

If I weren't so broke myself I'd totally donate!


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## dprogram

katbastard said:


> we have an awesome chicken coop and will be starting egg laying chickens real soon


We've got tons of useful stuff here on our farm but transporting it across the country is likely not very feasible.

Wondering what the nearest semi large town is nearby...dumpster diving for reusable lumber and stuff is always worth the trip. Curb finds are good as well.


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## DaisyDoom

dprogram said:


> We've got tons of useful stuff here on our farm but transporting it across the country is likely not very feasible.
> 
> Wondering what the nearest semi large town is nearby...dumpster diving for reusable lumber and stuff is always worth the trip. Curb finds are good as well.


Pretty much my thoughts....I could easily acquire a lot of useful things but shipping would be ridiculous. I think they are going to LA in the future to get stuff. I was browsing SD craigslist and there is a lot of shit....I've even seen free chickens and other farm animals in the past.


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## saje2u

Yea for some reason this does not sound like an ideal destination. ever.


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## katbastard

saje2u said:


> Yea for some reason this does not sound like an ideal destination. ever.


no spanging spots here, too hot to drink... i see why you say this. these reasons are why douche bags are few out here..


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## dprogram

Oh man. I'd have to have a few cold ones every now and then. There are places to buy food but that's like 12 miles out right?


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## bryanpaul

katbastard and ej pepper look like some mad max ass motherfuckers too........ i might hafta make my way out to this place someday.....


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## saje2u

katbastard said:


> no spanging spots here, too hot to drink... i see why you say this. these reasons are why douche bags are few out here..



Wow thems some harsh words man, I'll remember to steer clear of your threads then.


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## katbastard

saje2u said:


> Wow thems some harsh words man, I'll remember to steer clear of your threads then.


good idea


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## carnytrash

This is fucking epic, and I commend your efforts.

Don't have anything to donate at the moment or I totally would. Maybe I can get a benefit show together and send you the proceeds. Yes...must get to work on that now.


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## katbastard

carnytrash said:


> This is fucking epic, and I commend your efforts.
> 
> Don't have anything to donate at the moment or I totally would. Maybe I can get a benefit show together and send you the proceeds. Yes...must get to work on that now.


that would be awesomeLenore, we sure would love you forever and ever!


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## Matt Derrick

I'm very much looking forward to moving out there in the next few weeks!


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## katbastard

me too man, get to selling!


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## XXPepper

follow mah blawg to keep up on our deal over here: theescapeexperiment.tumblr.com

DOOOO IT


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## Matt Derrick

ugh, im getting so impatient waiting for someone to buy my van... so far the best offer ive gotten is 2200. which is okay i guess, still trying to hold out for a little more, but i gotta get the title fixed this week. :/


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## katbastard

update:
we have started building our aquaponics system, and have 2000 red worms coming to us in the mail for the vermiculture system. here is a list of other areas of expertise we are looking for in people.

Specific Areas of Expertise we are looking for:
Solar/DC/Electricity
General repair
Upkeep
Efficiency modeling
Wiring
Motors and pumps
Permaculture
Aquaponics
Humanure
Earthscaping
Construction
Yurts
Eco-Domes
Earthships
Geodesic Design
Subterranean
Water
Cultivation
Well management
Irrigation
Greywater plumbing and allocation
Artists
Sculptors
Painters
Earthworks
Found objects
Designers
Architects


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## Who the hell knows

Greetings, east jeezus.....

; )

i just came off of a start-up commune that is having a hella hard time..
members are down to zero, except for the owner, which sucks...

i'm now busted, but i dumped about $12,000 into the fucking place, only to see squat (& i don't mean planet) for it.

worked my ass off, too.. typically unpaid (of course) 8 hour days working on equipment & farm chores, when other folks had a hard time just doing their obligatory 2 hrs a day...

plus, because i put up 4k in cash for starters, i was supposed to be able to just park my fucking bus & write...

just facts.

i appreciate the hard up fronts, because it is absolutely fucking amazing how many people think their goddamn mother is whoever it is that is walking behind them as their shit drops, and that is saying gently only about 10 or 15 % of the bullshit people pull because they think anarchy is just sucking as much as possible out of people before they have to be extracted like a frozen exhaust bolt with a pair of oversized vice grips...

my background is in surveying and civil engineering. 26 years. strong technical skills, strong mechanical skills.

very good fabrication skills, but i do not weld.

51 years old, but as far as performance goes, i operate on a level at least 20 years younger than that, and that's no bullshit.

i have 2.5 unused, desert ridden acres near delano, CA, that i have yet to see, and may fucking bury myself there, eventually... however...

i'm looking for a community to participate in.. that means park my bus & take care of my crap & work to keep shit going...

it may even mean, if possible, finding a job with an engineering firm & sending cash into the home kitty..

in any case, just saw your thread & thought it was fascinating... what the virginia commune *should* have been, perhaps...

you can check my posts regarding my bus & my threads...

45 watt solar panel, 800 watt generator (a new 2,000 120/240 watt diesel that needs repair, since the resident self-proclaimed genii got + & - confused), 6,000 gal/hr semi-trash sump pump, and a number of other interesting goodies..

i am, by far, an ocean creature, but the desert has waves of its own..

looking for compassionate, sharing people who know how hard the work of fairness is, and know that people whom love fairness are people whom love what we would be, if we were simple enough to to need no more than what takes from no one else...

anyways, just an introduction.. may never ask for permission to enter, but if i do, my hands will be in the dirt as soon as i am past you door.

good peace,

john

PS: any serious chess players out there?


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## katbastard

check you in box



Who the hell knows said:


> Greetings, east jeezus.....
> 
> ; )
> 
> i just came off of a start-up commune that is having a hella hard time..
> members are down to zero, except for the owner, which sucks...
> 
> i'm now busted, but i dumped about $12,000 into the fucking place, only to see squat (& i don't mean planet) for it.
> 
> worked my ass off, too.. typically unpaid (of course) 8 hour days working on equipment & farm chores, when other folks had a hard time just doing their obligatory 2 hrs a day...
> 
> plus, because i put up 4k in cash for starters, i was supposed to be able to just park my fucking bus & write...
> 
> just facts.
> 
> i appreciate the hard up fronts, because it is absolutely fucking amazing how many people think their goddamn mother is whoever it is that is walking behind them as their shit drops, and that is saying gently only about 10 or 15 % of the bullshit people pull because they think anarchy is just sucking as much as possible out of people before they have to be extracted like a frozen exhaust bolt with a pair of oversized vice grips...
> 
> my background is in surveying and civil engineering. 26 years. strong technical skills, strong mechanical skills.
> 
> very good fabrication skills, but i do not weld.
> 
> 51 years old, but as far as performance goes, i operate on a level at least 20 years younger than that, and that's no bullshit.
> 
> i have 2.5 unused, desert ridden acres near delano, CA, that i have yet to see, and may fucking bury myself there, eventually... however...
> 
> i'm looking for a community to participate in.. that means park my bus & take care of my crap & work to keep shit going...
> 
> it may even mean, if possible, finding a job with an engineering firm & sending cash into the home kitty..
> 
> in any case, just saw your thread & thought it was fascinating... what the virginia commune *should* have been, perhaps...
> 
> you can check my posts regarding my bus & my threads...
> 
> 45 watt solar panel, 800 watt generator (a new 2,000 120/240 watt diesel that needs repair, since the resident self-proclaimed genii got + & - confused), 6,000 gal/hr semi-trash sump pump, and a number of other interesting goodies..
> 
> i am, by far, an ocean creature, but the desert has waves of its own..
> 
> looking for compassionate, sharing people who know how hard the work of fairness is, and know that people whom love fairness are people whom love what we would be, if we were simple enough to to need no more than what takes from no one else...
> 
> anyways, just an introduction.. may never ask for permission to enter, but if i do, my hands will be in the dirt as soon as i am past you door.
> 
> good peace,
> 
> john
> 
> PS: any serious chess players out there?


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## uncivilize

nevermind


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## Puckett

uncivilize said:


> I'm too much of a water person, but the desert _has_ been intriguing me lately.



we have water here, we have these cool little things we stick into people and it sucks all the water from them and you have a nice glass of people water. downside is the person dies so thats why we need more people out here.


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## Who the hell knows

===


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## Puckett

not sure, and yeah if you bring two then you will be safe, unless i get thirsty lol


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## uncivilize

nevermind


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## uncivilize

nevermind


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## katbastard

uncivilize said:


> nevermind


nevermind what?


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## Who the hell knows

===


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## Dylan Hanson

Aight you guys. Good luck to you. I really like the set up. Ill donate a few bucks at some point. Im starting a similar anarcho syndicilist based commune up here on lake superior next year. Wish me luck, haha. And i completely understand the rules. After the last experiment i experienced i know that most people arent willing to help and only wanna get fucked up and chill. When if you wanna stay for any length of time helping out is a must.


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## Dylan Hanson

And Permaculture is beautiful. Things are so much cooler looking and more sufficient when your willing to bend the norm.


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## Who the hell knows

===


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## MrClean4Ever

Neeeevermind. I have psychic powers! Will stop by for a visit, though, maybe..

I find that people don't work together real well unless they absolutely need to, for survival.. Otherwise, drama just happens, that's humanity. So no I'm not psychic, but that's why I said it.. I can forsee the future! Has happened every other time, anyway. Who knows?


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## mimijuana

I'd love to come out. If my car survives the heat I could make it as soon as tomorrow afternoon, but more likely I will get there friday.


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## katbastard

mimijuana said:


> I'd love to come out. If my car survives the heat I could make it as soon as tomorrow afternoon, but more likely I will get there friday.


The slabs is an awesome place to come out to, east jesus is not a place you can just come out and expect to camp at. There are rules here and an application process for people wanting to come out and help with the project. Please
*DO NOT * come out here unannounced.
also what ever peoples plans where with Pepper you will have to run that by me, pepper is no longer apart of this project due to unforeseen circumstances. But the good news is me and pucket are the full time care takers now and things will be running smoothly again. well as smoothly as thing go out here. Please read through this whole thread before even thinking about taking a visit and then contact me. We would love to have you out, just go to do it the right way.


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## mimijuana

read all the rules. totally down with them,


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## katbastard

word


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## Stope

That tire elephant is badass.


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## Nelco

MrClean4Ever said:


> Neeeevermind. I have psychic powers! Will stop by for a visit, though, maybe..
> 
> I find that people don't work together real well unless they absolutely need to, for survival.. Otherwise, drama just happens, that's humanity. So no I'm not psychic, but that's why I said it.. I can forsee the future! Has happened every other time, anyway. Who knows?


 Speaking for myself and past experiences..i work well with other ppl..i think it just depends..we all were completely different on the outside, by we had the same mental wheels churning..casued a master mind situation with all of combined..only a few of us are alive now..we should'a never split up..i think beyond survivalism..groups of ppl will find each other and work well together to keep things going after the apocalyptic drama...know what i'm sayin..it's like little kids playin together.


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## Nelco

whats the rules on folks with children anyways?


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## Nelco

Matt Pist said:


> ugh, im getting so impatient waiting for someone to buy my van... so far the best offer ive gotten is 2200. which is okay i guess, still trying to hold out for a little more, but i gotta get the title fixed this week. :/


drop a 0 off that price and i'll buy


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## katbastard

Nelco said:


> whats the rules on folks with children anyways?


kids are at your own risk, east jesus is for sure way unsafe for kids


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## mimijuana

anything y'all can use from LA?


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## deedeek

katbastard said:


> The slabs is an awesome place to come out to, east jesus is not a place you can just come out and expect to camp at. There are rules here and an application process for people wanting to come out and help with the project. Please
> *DO NOT * come out here unannounced.-


_

I want to help. I donated a few bucks to Pepper's paypal. i want to visit but can't now. Could you use a few (very few, sorry) bucks? How to give them to you? In March or April I can travel. I wanna apply. I WORK, btw. farm and mountain livin', all that. Desert salt lake sounds good too. I got some skillz...Knew Charlie back in the Jurrasic era.


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## katbastard

deedeek said:


> _
> 
> I want to help. I donated a few bucks to Pepper's paypal. i want to visit but can't now. Could you use a few (very few, sorry) bucks? How to give them to you? In March or April I can travel. I wanna apply. I WORK, btw. farm and mountain livin', all that. Desert salt lake sounds good too. I got some skillz...Knew Charlie back in the Jurrasic era.


sounds awesome deedeek, we could always use some money, after the board of directors meet on the 10th we will have a east jesus donation system, so hole your cash until then. Coming out in the spring would be great, we should be 100% back online here by then


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## katbastard

mimijuana said:


> anything y'all can use from LA?


extension cords and led xmas lights , oh an some space to bring out some trash with you, if your able. other then that 5 dollar donation covers lite water use and use if the toilets


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## deedeek

katbastard said:


> sounds awesome deedeek, we could always use some money, after the board of directors meet on the 10th we will have a east jesus donation system, so hole your cash until then. Coming out in the spring would be great, we should be 100% back online here by then



Ok, I'll pick acouple of good mutual funds... };-)


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## deedeek

I look forwards to meeting the good folk of East Jesus and Slab City in general. You guys pretty near the Sea? Tilapia jumpin? A good friend from Denmark, a squatter at times herself, will likely be coming. I can hardly wait.


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## Puckett

deedeek said:


> I look forwards to meeting the good folk of East Jesus and Slab City in general. You guys pretty near the Sea? Tilapia jumpin? A good friend from Denmark, a squatter at times herself, will likely be coming. I can hardly wait.



we can see the salton sea from our drive way but as far as a coast san diego is 120 miles west


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## deedeek

salton sea!!!! yayayayY YAY! A dream of mine since I was 17 years old has been to spend time there. Pacific schmocean, eh, no interest in it.


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## Puckett

yeah when you drive into Niland from the slabs you can see it.


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## Stope

This is something I'd like to be apart of, but that will most likely be some time later next year. Right now I'm a little busy and might get into a welding school soon. But once I get all that out of the way I'd be happy to hang around and help out with any projects you guys are working on.


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## katbastard

East Jesus T-Shirt!! Each Shirt is 20.00 comes in red or black white words. all money goes to keeping East Jesus alive!


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## deedeek

cuel!


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## Shulseee

katbastard said:


> *East Jesus Survival Guide*
> 
> -1) BEFORE YOU EVEN GET HERE there are things to consider. Why do you even want to come and bother us in the first place? Well, OK, but if you do, please don’t plan on camping out for more than a couple days, unless you’ve intent on rolling up your sleeves and helping us out with some labor, building an awesome sculpture, or catering to our personal whims. This isn’t a dumb ass hippie commune. This is us, living life the way we want to. We have work to do. Either you’re entertaining us, helping out with what needs to be done, or you’re slowing us down. Call or email ahead, 24 hours notice is greatly appreciated. IN CASE OF RAIN, travel north of Niland is *not* recommended. Even small amounts of rain can cause the washes to run deep and turn your beloved automobile into a submarine, exposed to oncoming traffic. Also, NEVER arrive after dark (see rule 2 below.)
> 
> -0.5) WITH AN EVER-INCREASING NUMBER OF VISITORS, the expense of keeping shop is growing. If you ask to come camp out for a night or two, I ask for a $5/night donation per person. This helps pay for the peat moss, tips the janitor (the person in smelly gloves and overalls) a little something for schlepping your and feces and helps defray the cost of all the little things you probably take for granted, like wireless internet, One Jillion Megawatts of power in the middle of fucking nowhere, and that spoon of mine you forgot to return that one time. Buying a t-shirt is so last year, but there are still a few I need to unload. $20 each. But don’t fogret to stick your five bucks a night in the donation box. We are watching. Bringing a warm beer or some piece of rusty iron covered with dog shit you found in the desert and thought was “cool” does not exempt you from this. However, we will credit you one night’s rent for every 50-gal contractor bag full of native trash (not yours) you take out with you for proper disposal elsewhere.
> 
> 0) RULE ZERO IS: DO NOT PISS US OFF. Any questions? Refer to Rule Zero.
> 
> 0.5) PACK IT IN, PACK IT OUT / LEAVE NO TRACE. Be prepared to take everything you brought back out with you. The surrounding area, where you may be camping, is pretty trashy, but this does not magically give you permission to leave more trash. In fact, I expect you to leave your campground a tad neater and cleaner than you found it. Don’t leave plastic bottles and tampons in the fire pits, kids.
> 
> 1) **UNLESS** THERE IS A SCHEDULED EVENT, if you plan to camp out here or even just visit, DO NOT ARRIVE AFTER DARK. Either show up before dark or spend the night elsewhere. No discussion, no exceptions. Also, even if you have been here before, DO NOT SHOW UP AFTER DARK WITHOUT PRIOR NOTICE AND APPROVAL. No discussion, no exceptions. Accept it and deal with it and plan accordingly. Given the nature of Slab City and some of its inhabitants, unexpected visitors after dark are presumed to be trespassing with ill intent and risk staring down the barrel of a 12GA.
> 
> 2) Thanks for bringing food & cold ones to share, but there is NO REFRIGERATOR SPACE, PERIOD (except if you are staying in the Transit Antenna bus.) There are coolers you can use, but don’t bring a bag of groceries and a case of beer without also bringing some ice to keep it cool, because our private fridge is TINY and old and non-user-friendly and has NO SPACE for your perishables, capiche?
> 
> 3) “Facilities:” NEW!! In the spirit of recycling absolutely everything, East Jesus now composts human waste. Basically, you piss and poop in a 5-gallon bucket, cover it up liberally with peat moss (provided) and notifying the us when it gets full. This is actually a very sanitary and odor-free system, and it’s *good* for the environment. Nothing in the buckets but your human ordure, peat moss, toilet paper, toilet paper rolls and baby wipes (nothing with plastic.) Athankew.
> 
> do you feel lucky, punk?
> 
> 4) EAST JESUS IS NOT A FUCKING ASHTRAY. Smoking is permitted. Go ahead, they’re your lungs. IF WE FIND ONE SINGLE BUTT ON THE GROUND WE WILL FUCKING KILL YOU. That means you will be dead, and it will hurt like hell the whole time you’re dying. If you insist on smoking filter cigarettes, you must bring an Altoids tin or equivalent portable ashtray, and take every single god damned butt out with you, or eat it, or whatever. If you leave butts on the ground, We will know it was you and you will pay dearly. If you knew how many times We've bent over to pick up butts, and how much it hurts when We do this, and how much the sight of cigarette butts on the ground fills us with murderous bile, you would understand. You may dump your butts (along with paper, cardboard or any other clean-burning refuse) into one of the burn barrels.
> 
> 5) Recycling: EVERYONE GETS THIS WRONG. SO WILL YOU. But We won’t kill you over it, we'll just yell at you. ALL RECYCLING ITEMS MUST HAVE “CA CASH VALUE” OR “CA CRV” CLEARLY PRINTED ON THEM, OTHERWISE THEY ARE TRASH. I fucking HATE picking pieces of trash out of the recycling bins. Hey, hippie, don’t just hand us a bag full of beer cans, bottles full of cigarette butts, and a half-eaten apple and expect me to be happy about it.
> 
> 6) ILLEGAL DRUGS ARE STILL ILLEGAL. NOTE WELL: NOTHING ILLEGAL IN IMPERIAL COUNTY, THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA OR THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA BECOMES MAGICALLY LEGAL HERE IN SLAB CITY. IF YOU BREAK THE LAW, YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN, AND GOOD RIDDANCE.
> 
> 6.5) Likewise, FIREARMS must be used in designated areas only and fireworks are illegal in this county. Don’t screw around with fire or flame in the compound, we *encourages* responsible firearms owners with valid CA CCW licenses to pack heat. There is a clothing-optional firing range on the premises. No shooting during musical performances, please.
> 
> 7) Stay the fuck out of the music room unless you are a bona fide musician. NO DRINKS ANYWHERE NEAR THE PIANO. Period. No, that’s not a *baby* grand. It’s a fucking full-size studio grand, OK? Six feet. And it’s valuable and very sensitive to liquids and jackassery.
> 
> 8.1) Electric power & internet: here we are actually far more advanced than some developing nations. Yes, we have plenty of juice for charging your laptop, cell phone, camera, deluxe bunny vibrator, etc. Just plug in. If you want to power some kind of ridiculously heavy load, we can probably do it, but ask first. There is an 802.11-N (WiFi) network protected by WPA2 encryption. Ask the us for the password.
> 
> 9) Petting zoo: black widows, scorpions, centipedes, vinegaroons, rattlesnakes and the occasional tarantula all live and work here. They do not want to bite or sting you, but can be deadly if provoked. If you don’t fuck with them, you’ll be fine. Never stick your hands or feet anywhere you can’t see, especially close to the ground. If you actually see one of these worthy, noble creatures, don’t fucking freak out. It’s more scared of you than you are of it and will try to get away if you let it. Horseflies are a much bigger threat. A horsefly will cut you the proverbial New One. They can eat through your motorcycle jacket to get at your blood. Then they lay eggs in your brain. Shut up, it’s true! Wearing white or bright colors makes them much less interested in biting you.
> 
> 10) PARKING: it’s pretty lax, but be sure you’re not blocking either of the main gates on Sidewinder, in case of water delivery or the need for a speedy getaway. Don’t make me get my forklift. OK, OK, I don’t have a forklift. But my friend Tiny does. You wanna mess with Tiny?
> 
> 11) THE SCULPTURE GARDEN. Don’t assume you have some God-given right to change stuff. Ask first.


Those are all totally valid requests! Thank you for laying out the ground rules, man. What about groups of people looking to join you on a permanent basis? Sorry if i missed that in the rules, i've been drinking some steelies, so pretty please be patient. How can we join up if we're all totally willing to do more than our share of work/provide our own places to sleep, and provide our own food.


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## katbastard

there is an application process being reworked right now by the board of directors.


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## Shulseee

Ok. glad to hear it.


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## Matt Derrick

katbastard said:


> East Jesus T-Shirt!! Each Shirt is 20.00 comes in red or black white words. all money goes to keeping East Jesus alive!



awesome shirt man!


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## marc

me and my girlfriend are working on getting a van right now. i'd really like to come out there and help out hauling trash, bringing in water, giving people rides to town and just bringing in any useful stuff i can find. sounds like a cool thing you guys have going out there.


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## Puckett

marc said:


> me and my girlfriend are working on getting a van right now. i'd really like to come out there and help out hauling trash, bringing in water, giving people rides to town and just bringing in any useful stuff i can find. sounds like a cool thing you guys have going out there.



when do you think your going to be out here? and if you want to stay on EJ land you will have to fill out an app. you can message Katbastard for the that. look foward to metting you both


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## marc

it wont be for awhile. were working on getting the van right now and if we do go out there we wont be staying long term.


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## Yell

Do you guys have a library? I'm considering this as an option in the next 5 months. I can get a library of sorts started.


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## Puckett

Yell said:


> Do you guys have a library? I'm considering this as an option in the next 5 months. I can get a library of sorts started.



we do have one, but if you have any books you would want to donate that would be awesome.


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## Matt Derrick

Yell said:


> Do you guys have a library? I'm considering this as an option in the next 5 months. I can get a library of sorts started.



there's a pretty cool "leave-a-book-take-a-book" library in the slabs, but from what i understand, it hasn't been taken care of very well since the founder died. it's beautiful though, so if you wanted to go out there for a while and restore it, you'd be doing the community a huge favor.


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## katbastard

the slab library is pretty awesome, there is some talk in the slab community meeting about moving it next to the range. here at EJ we have a pretty bad ass library of our own


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## dirty_rotten_squatter

thread title=why don't I just cut my wrists and drink my blood.


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## katbastard

dirty_rotten_squatter said:


> thread title=why don't I just cut my wrists and drink my blood.


why don't you cut your wrists?


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## katbastard

http://pictureroute66.com/2009/12/01/east-jesus-pop-1-elev-75/


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## Lucius

Hey kat!

Is this project still going on? I'm heading to the slabs in January to wait out the snowy winter. I heard there's a grand piano at EJ, which is what sparked my interest initially, is it still there? I'm a pianist and was really hoping there would be a piano at the slabs. I got to reading more about the project, would love to come check it out. I may be of some help too with the experience I have. I've been squatting in a small mountain village in Colorado for the past year, where my friends and I have managed to do a few good things: start a highly successful artisan organic local bakery, a bike/ski coop, we've built three community gardens where we grow organic food at 9,000 feet! (we grew into late november last year with two feet of snow on the row covers for the plants), and have been active at fighting local capitalism (US Energy wants to destroy our sacred mountain Red Lady to mine an ore used for the military to kill people! that of which they will not succeed on doing), community dance parties(when we get tickets for noise complaints, we throw another town party to pay for it, pigs lose, we win!) and food/art events... among others, you get the idea.. Do you guys have a garden? I would love to help get one going. I have experience building gardens and hoop houses/green houses, and would like to experiment with making brick ovens..

You guys might know eggplant and raven with their two dogs? I met them this summer and will head out with them.


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## katbastard

Lucius said:


> Hey kat!
> 
> Is this project still going on? I'm heading to the slabs in January to wait out the snowy winter. I heard there's a grand piano at EJ, which is what sparked my interest initially, is it still there? I'm a pianist and was really hoping there would be a piano at the slabs. I got to reading more about the project, would love to come check it out. I may be of some help too with the experience I have. I've been squatting in a small mountain village in Colorado for the past year, where my friends and I have managed to do a few good things: start a highly successful artisan organic local bakery, a bike/ski coop, we've built three community gardens where we grow organic food at 9,000 feet! (we grew into late november last year with two feet of snow on the row covers for the plants), and have been active at fighting local capitalism (US Energy wants to destroy our sacred mountain Red Lady to mine an ore used for the military to kill people! that of which they will not succeed on doing), community dance parties(when we get tickets for noise complaints, we throw another town party to pay for it, pigs lose, we win!) and food/art events... among others, you get the idea.. Do you guys have a garden? I would love to help get one going. I have experience building gardens and hoop houses/green houses, and would like to experiment with making brick ovens..
> 
> You guys might know eggplant and raven with their two dogs? I met them this summer and will head out with them.


hey man, we need some garden help for sure, i know raven also, tell her i said hi. we are planing aquaponics and raised garden beds. and yes we still have the baby grand. hit me up when your in the slabs.


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## Lucius

sounds great! can't wait to play that piano if you guys would be so kind.
are you planning to use fish in the system? it's possible I could look into getting organic topsoil shipped in a big haul truck for free or relatively cheap, in which case would could do a little fundraiser to pay for it... we've paid for very little in the gardens that we've built here, people like to donate when they know they get organic food in return... so with the possibility of a big haul there could be a half acre or more size garden that will feed a big portion of people, irrigation could come from the canal wherever that's at? just some ideas we can have a thinktank later. see ya soon


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## Earth

The only way something like this works is if you have firm rules in place, and that everybody involved puts in a full days work
because there ain't no such thing as a free ride when going off the grid/beneath the surface....

Way proud of what you are doing.
Respect..........


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## AnywhereButHere

i'm 90% sure i'll be moving to the slabs in the next few months...for good. what are some things i can bring that will help you guys out? what things are needed most?


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## katbastard

East Jesus is not taking apps right now. but slab city is a big awesome place so come on down and check out the slabs and stop by here and say hi and we can go from there


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