# back out and fucking hate it



## daveycrockett (Nov 11, 2013)

left my house for the past 9 months or so living with a woman as of last week. It seems thats how it goes i date someone and work and am ok until the relationship ends and then i am back out on the streets. I hate being out but keep ending up here for most of my adult life or 15 or so whatever you want to call it. I would work and not drink and am a decent person but all things come to an end I just hate being put back out into the streets feeling like shit every day. I dont want to travel anymore i want to work and have my own place but im fucked up right now and fucking bummed out. The other day im at the bus stop in nyc not knowing to go north or south and thinking to myself i dont want to slip back into the same life i have been living forever but it seems to be going that way. Fucking hate this shit.


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## Joni (Nov 11, 2013)

if you want to work.... well there will be jobs down south in a month or two. harvest work, renfaires, touristy work, etc. its out there man. in the north if youo want to freeze there is shoveling snow and other holiday seasonal work. if i were homeless this time of year in nyc and didn't like the cold i would go south.


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## East (Nov 11, 2013)

You could check this thread out, paid work and a room.

http://squattheplanet.com/threads/vegas-to-nd.17870/


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## ByronMc (Nov 11, 2013)

daveycrockett said:


> left my house for the past 9 months or so living with a woman as of last week. It seems thats how it goes i date someone and work and am ok until the relationship ends and then i am back out on the streets. I hate being out but keep ending up here for most of my adult life or 15 or so whatever you want to call it. I would work and not drink and am a decent person but all things come to an end I just hate being put back out into the streets feeling like shit every day. I dont want to travel anymore i want to work and have my own place but im fucked up right now and fucking bummed out. The other day im at the bus stop in nyc not knowing to go north or south and thinking to myself i dont want to slip back into the same life i have been living forever but it seems to be going that way. Fucking hate this shit.


sounds like the start to a new life to me,keep on not wanting it and work towards your goal


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## daveycrockett (Nov 11, 2013)

thanks, im just on the brink of losing any mindset ive learned in the past 9 mos or so and dont want to lose it. I want to keep working and stay here in ny. im just bummed and see myself slipping fast.


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## benjysirois (Nov 11, 2013)

ByronMc said:


> sounds like the start to a new life to me,keep on not wanting it and work towards your goal



Totally great advice. Don't be closing off to new possibilities. Stay optimistic, it leads you to cool places.


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## ByronMc (Nov 12, 2013)

daveycrockett said:


> thanks, im just on the brink of losing any mindset ive learned in the past 9 mos or so and dont want to lose it. I want to keep working and stay here in ny. im just bummed and see myself slipping fast.


Since you see it & admit it,that's the best way to get out of it !


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## Roosterruler (Nov 12, 2013)

You got this, man. You don't have to slip. You don't have to end up on the streets.
There are a lot of resources out there for folks who are willing to work (heck, you don't even have to want to - but I salute that you seem to be eager to do that as a means of taking control of your life).

Were you saving up any money before that you can rely on now as you get things going?
You said that you were working - the job didn't leave with the roof, did it? Can you still keep running with that and start small. Get your own place, start to make it feel like home, develop and control the rhythms of your own life.

A lot of us have started from Square 1 and worked our way up. Things can and will work out.




daveycrockett said:


> thanks, im just on the brink of losing any mindset ive learned in the past 9 mos or so and dont want to lose it. I want to keep working and stay here in ny. im just bummed and see myself slipping fast.


 
If that's what you want to do, do it.

Find folks (or use us) to keep you on track if you feel like you're slipping ("loosing any mindset learned"). Write down what that is. Write out some goals. Staying in NY is doable. Keeping work is doable. Identify what encourages slipping (certain people? alcohol? habbits?) and see if you can self discipline to stay away from that.


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## Endy (Nov 12, 2013)

Can relate to this.


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## daveycrockett (Nov 16, 2013)

thanks, just bummed out and hate losing everything, both jobs, girl, house. Now im back on the street depressed as hell. Guess it just takes time to start a new situation.


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## ByronMc (Nov 16, 2013)

You can do it !


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## daveycrockett (Jan 18, 2014)

and just got out of the county jail today for the past 2 months, life goes people, life goes......


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## ByronMc (Jan 18, 2014)

Life goes on, some people don't


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## daveycrockett (Jan 18, 2014)

i know byron, and so it goes good to hear from you


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## ByronMc (Jan 18, 2014)

Glad you're out & free, stay free, in all accounts !


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## daveycrockett (Jan 30, 2014)

renting a place, got work,clothes,phone. im good,,for now.thanks people


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## Dmac (Jan 30, 2014)

Glad to hear it! where in NY are you?


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## daveycrockett (Jan 31, 2014)

just outside the city


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## daveycrockett (Feb 9, 2014)

aaanddd. im back on the street tomorrow at midnight... motherfucker...


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## ByronMc (Feb 9, 2014)

You've been here before & have gotten another place, which will happen, once again !


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## daveycrockett (Aug 22, 2014)

annndd...one year later...same shit. .living with a woman since march..season ended..fighting...cops..jail...engagement ring thrown...back on the street wirh nothing but the clothes on my back and phone...slept setting up in the rain last night wet..shaking...not well..i hate this fucking cycle..over and over...i try so hard to be decent but end up stripped of everything instantly..im so fucked i cant deal with this.....im not ok..


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## ByronMc (Aug 22, 2014)

You can end the cycle, if you choose, it just takes some hard honest work ! Go to a meeting,then to the next meeting, keep on going,it will get better !


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## daveycrockett (Aug 22, 2014)

ByronMc said:


> You can end the cycle, if you choose, it just takes some hard honest work ! Go to a meeting,then to the next meeting, keep on going,it will get better !
> not an alcoholic dont really get along with aa's...if thats what you are talking about..its women and money...and what ican do for them...i make good money durng the season but then when i have to work for someone else and dont make as much im out the door...every fucking year..they all want to marry me..love you.blah.blah.blah...then im like this and i see it coming too..i feel so stupid..i should know better and forsee the behavior which is similar but choose to stay and trust they are decent but....idk


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## daveycrockett (Aug 22, 2014)

that was weird..why my reply is in your message..


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## professorjpj (Sep 13, 2014)

I say just give up... But that's my 2 cents only...


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## daveycrockett (Sep 13, 2014)

Suck it..my two cents


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## professorjpj (Sep 13, 2014)

That's the spirit! You've got it!


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