# Got a job as a wage slave.



## Alexander (Aug 11, 2012)

I have been on this site for a while now, although mostly I have been in a depressed state, right now I can say that I feel decent. Only just have those lingering thoughts of ending my life every now and then but better than normal. I look at a lot of the attitudes on the board and I completely understand the whole "Fuck Everything...Especially the system" but when it comes down to it, saying "fuck it" usually means that in more than one way. More props to you if you enjoy not having any choice of what or where your next meal or ride comes from, and being "free" and everything. The fact is nothing is "free" and honestly if I did get SSDI for my ADD and Bipolor issues it wouldn't help me feel better laying around the house any longer than I already have. I am tired of being tired. I wanted so badly to just leave my house and family to see what would happen...where the universe would take me, but it doesn't look promising. The thing is, the universe(s) doesn't give a shit whether you are rich and successful, spanging with your road dogs, or die for that matter. We can belittle death and say it's just a part of life and what happened happened for a reason, well depending on your viewpoint yes. There are reasons for many things, nothing divine.

We all go through hardships but if we have the mental capacity to take care of ourselves and others we should take that responsibility. Things happen for reasons yes, but being a Darwin award candidate is not a good one. If you want to live your "free" lives on the open road and wander the world go right ahead, nobody stops you except yourselves. Live how you want to live just don't be a dumb ass about going about it. I recently got a job at Office Max, I don't know how shitty the company is or if I can even handle a job yet, but I'm gonna try. I really want to just say "fuck it" but I am coming to the point where reality is what you make it. Maybe for now I will work this shitty job in retail, but even if I feel like shit sucks and I am just a robot for this consumerist society, I can use it to my advantage; no matter how small. I am determined to get healthy both mentally and physically. I will use my minimum wage job to get a cheap gym membership and get into shape. I have to work hard, which is why I am paying to go there. I know I won't work this job for long, but it's something. I do have thoughts of "well what if you just get in a car accident anyway" well awesome if that happens I will deal with that if I am alive to do so. Running away from my dysfunctional brain will not work. I could be on the moon and would still have these "chemical issues" so I might as well make the best of it by taking care of myself in the current situation I am in. Maybe one day I will have an opportunity to open up a bad ass squat for everyone for free in the Chicago area. My goal is to start a human haven to help others who feel the need to run from their own minds.

Many people on here may feel the same way, running away from their minds. I fucking wish that was possible.

Like I've heard many times on here: wherever you go, there you are.

xSteps


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## Matt Derrick (Aug 11, 2012)

i hear ya about the depression issues, and i wish you luck with the new job. there's nothing wrong with having a job and having nice things. i wish i knew you were in chicago earlier, im on my way to the train yard here again after getting rained out pretty hard the first time...


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## justo (Aug 11, 2012)

You speaketh the truth man.

I've been toying with the idea of hitting the road and running away from my mind for over a year now, but it seems like no matter where I am the constant internal battles that rage in my psychologically delusioned mind are still ever so present.

I can be in the most serene forest Alabama has to offer or walking alone in Goblin Valley, Utah, and there I am. Still analyzing, still over-thinking, worrying about this or that, whatever. Why are we like this? What causes our minds to become our own enemies? How did it come to this?


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## ElectroGypsy (Aug 11, 2012)

justo said:


> ... Why are we like this? What causes our minds to become our own enemies? How did it come to this?


Baggage perhaps?
I find it best to either deal with the problems (people), head on, or just do something completely different, so different that I have to think about what I am doing. And when time permits meditate. That is just kinda my thing though.


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## Beegod Santana (Aug 11, 2012)

psst! What da fuck are ya'll doing on a traveler site then? If you want a buncha thumbs up for being a corporate robot I hear there's this site called facebook.

Here's what I hear,
"I though about imitating your lifestyle as a method of running from my issues, but I decided that it might be hard, so I got a job at office max instead and now I feel I'm in a position to make general judgements about the traveler community, despite having never experienced it myself."

You my friend, are the reason the word "oogle" exists.


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## NoahScape (Aug 12, 2012)

I'm glad you have a plan. Something you can start working on soon. I wish you luck. I attribute the feelings most of us have to having to live a life that just isn't natural for us. I'm not supposed to spend my days at a desk, inside, or in front of this screen..but I do..So I guess as you join the ranks I plan my exit(again)..Spangin' is just modern day hunting/gathering..and after a successful hunt you always sit and share with the tribe..I guess I miss the discomfort of "the life"..I like the variables and the unknowns but humans are creatures of comfort and routine..but the unknown has always captivated us..whether it be positive or negative..


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## Everymanalion (Aug 12, 2012)

Through every sentence of reading that, all I got was "weakness, excuses and here is my cop out". Sure, you may not be fit for traveling but do not come to an alternative travel forum and attempt to preach that the grass is greener on the other side, I for one have been there and ran as fast away from it as I could.

Being true to yourself is not for everyone. I feel by getting a job and buying into modern society you are making your problems worse, convolution rather than facing them head on but then again I am not you, just going off my experience, the road is rougher before it gets smoother and I apply that to traveling as well, you get used to it, adapt, and from the perspective of substance vs materialism, it is, in my opinion, the ONLY way to live.


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## Alexander (Aug 12, 2012)

Matt Derrick said:


> i hear ya about the depression issues, and i wish you luck with the new job. there's nothing wrong with having a job and having nice things. i wish i knew you were in chicago earlier, im on my way to the train yard here again after getting rained out pretty hard the first time...


I don't even really want things, maybe just enough to have a temporary apt or something idk. Good luck on your travels from chicago man.


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## Alexander (Aug 12, 2012)

Everymanalion said:


> Through every sentence of reading that, all I got was "weakness, excuses and here is my cop out". Sure, you may not be fit for traveling but do not come to an alternative travel forum and attempt to preach that the grass is greener on the other side, I for one have been there and ran as fast away from it as I could.
> 
> Being true to yourself is not for everyone. I feel by getting a job and buying into modern society you are making your problems worse, convolution rather than facing them head on but then again I am not you, just going off my experience, the road is rougher before it gets smoother and I apply that to traveling as well, you get used to it, adapt, and from the perspective of substance vs materialism, it is, in my opinion, the ONLY way to live.


I don't want much. I don't need much. Honestly if I stay with this job for a while it will probably just be to save for a ride out of here.


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## Alexander (Aug 12, 2012)

NoahScape said:


> I'm glad you have a plan. Something you can start working on soon. I wish you luck. I attribute the feelings most of us have to having to live a life that just isn't natural for us. I'm not supposed to spend my days at a desk, inside, or in front of this screen..but I do..So I guess as you join the ranks I plan my exit(again)..Spangin' is just modern day hunting/gathering..and after a successful hunt you always sit and share with the tribe..I guess I miss the discomfort of "the life"..I like the variables and the unknowns but humans are creatures of comfort and routine..but the unknown has always captivated us..whether it be positive or negative..


positive and negative are both just viewpoints, I will most likely just use the money that I make to find a crappy apt in the area for the time being or save it up while I stay with my parents. I hate the winters and I practically didn't do anything this summer. This depression has felt like a coma. Discomfort while I was on the streets helped me to better appreciate the comforts when they came to me. I was kinda into the whole spiritual thing for a bit and just "let life lead me" kinda thing, but even if you do that, you will find many people just taking advantage of you and getting in bad situations from my experience. In a matter of a few months I hope to have my head on straighter than I have it now, and hopefully this depression will lift and I will finally feel something again. Thanks for the good vibes.


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## Alexander (Aug 12, 2012)

Beegod Santana said:


> psst! What da fuck are ya'll doing on a traveler site then? If you want a buncha thumbs up for being a corporate robot I hear there's this site called facebook.
> 
> Here's what I hear,
> "I though about imitating your lifestyle as a method of running from my issues, but I decided that it might be hard, so I got a job at office max instead and now I feel I'm in a position to make general judgements about the traveler community, despite having never experienced it myself."
> ...


Life is hard any way you look at it. I've been on the streets, in a manic frame of mind, but I have nonetheless. I will be working for the time being, I don't need much to be content, therefore I could probably afford a cheap apt somewhere, I always can leave if I want to. I can't run from my mental illness, but I need something to do for the time being to help my mind. This is my last try at "robotic" life. If anything I will start my own business when I am feeling better. I already tried killing myself I think I need to use my Bipolar to my advantage and take extreme care of myself at this time. 

And I think it's very interesting in a community that screams alternative lifestyles, and live how you want to live it's your life...there are still people who criticize amongst the different "types" of alternative lifestyles people have. 

It's like the "gothic" kids in high school having different types of "gothic" kids and making new names for them for judgmental reasons, cause if you were all gothic how could you discriminate? 

Nobody on here is anything. We are all fucking human, and you can't categorize an individual based on anything he wears, or how he acts. The brain is too complex for you to do so. So take your funny descriptive words that mean nothing to me, or anyone else here back into your categorical brain. I'm sure many people could come up with a plethora of words to describe you, and do every day. 

General categorization of humans is very primitive, especially with little known facts about who you are talking about. I sure hope evolution is continuing in our species because this is sad.


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## ped (Aug 12, 2012)

And here I thought the word oogle existed to give the deluded an arbitrary sense of self-importance and superiorority!


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## Beegod Santana (Aug 12, 2012)

ped said:


> And here I thought the word oogle existed to give the deluded an arbitrary sense of self-importance and superiorority!


That too.

Do whatever works for you kid, don't let some asshole on the internet tell you otherwise. Just for the record though it is "Squat The Planet" not "Office Max The Planet"

A community is only as strong as its weakest member.


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## MRSAnary (Aug 22, 2012)

alexander, i hope you feel less sad.


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