# Monologue



## Izzy (Feb 9, 2015)

So I'm not sure if this should be under projects or general banter but I'm working on a monologue for one of my film classes. The idea is to write about something that reflects myself. I'm supposed to film it from a stationary camera position and then from a floating camera and focus on staging. I've never written a monologue or anything so I'm just kind of winging it. I was hoping people might have some input/advice/ideas if anyone has ever written or performed a monologue. What I've started is about a session with a therapist that I had awhile back, it's a bit of a ramble but I'm not really sure how to write a monologue to begin with. 
What I have thus far:
I'm supposed to be this, this thinker. This creator, builder, poet artist 
some sort of jack of all trades but I'm not any of those things. I've
tried school I've tried working but I can never achieve the dreams
people have for me. I'm the middle child in a family of over achievers. The 
Solitary drop out, so called non-conformist meaningless web of atoms
and molecules. I don't belong to any group or subculture I just am.

I'm here because I can't communicate with people because I can't cope
with a 9-5 cubicle jail cell, because I'm a danger to myself which
means I'm really a danger to everyone else's happiness. And uh, I guess that
makes me feel... Well it makes me fuckin' pissed off you know? What
does it matter that what makes me happy annoys or inconveniences them? 
I don't grab my brother and say hey fuck you and your Mercedes go see a therapist.

They say I'm crazy, I'm _crazy_ because I don't want to be a part of some 
oppressive hierarchy of monkey's in suits! Fucking repeating myself day after day, 
dying and dying over and over again punching staples in pages of 
suicide notes... watching the seasons move through the window 
calling out like some wind or whisper to escape.

The mechanics are unnatural. We're not meant to live like this.
Separated from the world that made us. ​


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## Tude (Feb 9, 2015)

You put this in the right area - Your projects - film project. Your monologue seems like part of some of the short films I see on the BBC in between their regular/special programming. Short films from artists. Most are about feelings and dealing with feelings, about situations or other issues that the public should be aware of. I like your monologue.  It sounds quite personal as well as retrospective. I'm not skilled at this stuff at all but I will comment that you start out strong but towards the end I didn't sense a closure (or does it have to have one?) - or where you may be headed(?) just an idea. I'm probably wrong but I thought I would chime in and give you my thoughts. I like where you are going with this - and very good luck on your project1 You might want to consider posting to our vids when done.


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## Izzy (Feb 9, 2015)

It doesn't have an ending yet, I'm supposed to create some sort of big emotional transition but as I normally just internalize things I'm kind of stuck. If I can stand to watch it back myself after it's done I may post it ha ha


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## Tude (Feb 9, 2015)

Well then - I think you are off to a very great start! Like a plant growing. Go with it and do keep us involved!


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## wizehop (Feb 10, 2015)

Izzy said:


> It doesn't have an ending yet, I'm supposed to create some sort of big emotional transition but as I normally just internalize things I'm kind of stuck. If I can stand to watch it back myself after it's done I may post it ha ha



I think you have a lot of emotion there for sure. You express a lot about your relationship with your family, their expectations on you, your expectations on the world. Maybe you just don't see it cause its how you talk to yourself on a regular basis, but I feel it when reading.

Right off the bat your expressing how you don't fit into societies/your families expectations of what you should be. Your coming to grasps with your individuality, but your not quite there. It's like your fighting a battle with yourself to accept who you are inside, but your projecting it on the outside world.
"I'm the middle child in a family of over achievers". I like that line, there is something symbolic about you being a middle child and at the same time feeling stuck between the lines drawn up you by your family and society.

Your second paragraph definitely sets off towards strong emotion as well with lines like "Well it makes me fuckin' pissed off you know?", or later with "I'm _crazy_ because I don't want to be a part of some oppressive hierarchy of monkey's in suits! Fucking repeating myself day after day,
dying and dying over and over again punching staples in pages of suicide notes". These lines definitely set the stage for how you feel things should be. SO if we aren't meant to live like this, how do you envision us living in which we would be true to our nature? How do you envision yourself in a "perfect" world.

I think where it all comes to is that you need to accept who you are for yourself. As of right now your wanting to go against the grain, but your still looking for some kind of recognition from them.

I actually liked reading that. I think a lot of us can see ourselves in what your saying. At the end f the day, every battle is about ourselves, and the ending may be the final confrontation with yourself. I look forward to seeing the final product


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## Art101 (Feb 10, 2015)

Totally agree with what has been said.Its good to read things like this and reflect.Even if it is very personal it rings true in some way for all of us.Thank you and cant wait for the rest.


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