# A lack of whimsy



## DocRoberts (Mar 12, 2015)

*Disclaimer: I'm not looking for sympathy, just seeking the thoughts of other folk on this story.*

There's no worse feeling than when your friends begin to leave you behind. You know, as though they had to get somewhere in a big damn hurry.

The discussion of finding a place, or one of us moving away, has been coming up a lot recently, and it seems to me that I'm the only one that isn't so dead-set on a routine that requires an insane amount of accessories that would prevent us from leaving a single state.

Kind of like there's no whimsy left in their worlds, or that I've been spending an entire world off on my own, thinking they had as much time to dedicate towards imagination of the future.

When I talk about whimsy, I'm using it as a catch-all for romance and exploration outside of your home town. None of my small group of friends has ever wandered out of a ten-mile radius for more than a week, and it's beginning to feel like they're all content to remain here. I'd love to not part ways, particularly because these are friends that I've had since before I can remember, but it's this idea of being trapped in a routine that scares the living shit out of me.

It was dropped on me that the reasons we gathered were a miserable time for everyone, making me out to be some sort of Peter Pan trying to gather with the adult Darling Children and wasting their time like an idiot.

At twenty-seven, the thought of making new friends to replace ones that I've had my entire life is even more terrifying, as I wouldn't know where to start.


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## Preacher (Mar 12, 2015)

Social circles change. It's inevitable. Some more often then others. For me it was the kids in elementary/junior high and they faded away when I got into high school and started partying. That got me into friends that lasted into my late 20's. But as they settled down and married, moved away, etc... that dwindled down also. People grow and change sometimes. I'm in my 40's now and see them maybe once a year.

IMO, the questions you need to be asking yourself is not with comparing yourself to them and what they're doing and what the world thinks you should be doing. It's simply:

Are *you* happy?
What do *you *want to do?
What do _*you*_ need to do to make that happen?
Because friends are great and all, but they're not married to you and will usually do what they need to do for themselves before the do for you as far as life-altering things go. They're not going to take you into consideration as to whether they go to college or get married or buy a house or take a certain job. If you're not ready to settle down, then don't. Just my 2cents worth, if it's even worth that much.


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## wizehop (Mar 12, 2015)

Welcome to STP, and all us folk who left town.

I know exactly where your coming from, and most on here do. All-be it I was much younger when I went through this process, the changing over is the same. Your at a cross roads and you came here at the right time. Things like this make me wonder if we really have free choice in life, or if this thing called destiny is actually a thing (based on my current researches I am starting to think it is).

Change is naturally a scary thing, as humans we fear the unknown, and its this reason most people accept a safe and easy life instead of becoming who they really want to be. That being said, even if you head off on a new path and move away from the people who have stopped growing, that doesn't mean you wont have a relation ship with them any longer; but chances are once you get out there and meet people who are actually like you, things will gradually shift. Even more importantly, well... 27 ain't anywhere near an entire life. You got a while to go, so don't worry.

I'm sure I can speak on behalf of most people on here, and from someone who is already on the other side when I say, the grass is definitely greener over here.

Time to hit the road! And dude their not leaving you, its the other way around.


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## DocRoberts (Mar 12, 2015)

Preacher said:


> Social circles change. It's inevitable. Some more often then others. For me it was the kids in elementary/junior high and they faded away when I got into high school and started partying. That got me into friends that lasted into my late 20's. But as they settled down and married, moved away, etc... that dwindled down also. People grow and change sometimes. I'm in my 40's now and see them maybe once a year.
> 
> IMO, the questions you need to be asking yourself is not with comparing yourself to them and what they're doing and what the world thinks you should be doing. It's simply:
> 
> ...



You see, I've been an admirer of every person on this site for over five years, and the one thing I've always wanted to do is explore the country. The problem with me is that I'm tied to pharmacies by synthetic insulin.

and this was the hard wake-up call that friends grow apart. It was just particularly hard since I've known them for twenty-some years before my relevance in their life became an oddity. Settling down and whatnot has nothing to do with it, it's the fact that after so long, with so little provocation, we've become such drastically different people despite our initial interests. I thought were were all among the Lost Boys, but now it seems like I'm the last one to go on adventures rather than work nine to five at a job I openly hate (words from one of the friends.)

I'd be less perturbed by it if these revelations hadn't been dropped on me so suddenly and I had a decent escape measure, or that they weren't such close friends that I felt I couldn't abandon them.



wizehop said:


> Welcome to STP, and all us folk who left town.
> 
> I know exactly where your coming from, and most on here do. All-be it I was much younger when I went through this process, the changing over is the same. Your at a cross roads and you came here at the right time. Things like this make me wonder if we really have free choice in life, or if this thing called destiny is actually a thing (based on my current researches I am starting to think it is).
> 
> ...


The problem is, I can't hit the road. I would need some way to keep a full supply of synthetic insulin at all times, or have to rely on my ability to gauge my blood-glucose and eat appropriately. The latter is borderline impossible to do for an extended period.


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## Preacher (Mar 13, 2015)

OK. An insulin pen is good for 28 days unrefrigerated. How much do they cost without insurance? I'm type 2 diabetic and I know all about monitoring your glucose. A blood sugar monitoring kit is relatively small. I've sewn the back pocket from a pair of jeans onto the inside of my denim vest specifically to hold this. As far as eating to keep your sugar on an even keel....well,..that's unique to you and I couldn't comment on. I take pills, fortunately, and have built up a supply of pills and refills to last me till summer 2016. My scrip is only $24 for a 6 month supply at wally world (made out for double the dose needed).


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## Tude (Mar 13, 2015)

I hate change, I love change. And sometimes forced change. And I go with it.

hehe I've lived in the same area (other than the sticks country about 40 minutes from here) all my life. I have traveled from my radius, but I come back. When my Mom goes - my ties here are done. My friends have come and gone and some stuck around - several re-found through social media. But - I have found more people through socializing --- I belong to three bicycle clubs, neighborhood associations, garden clubs, way toooooo many website forums where I've met and stay in touch personally with 50-100 plus people - and more. Things change but you can roll with it. I've gotten where I enjoy it. I'd love to meet you! 

I also am the volunteer person with the darn left arm that waves on it's own when someone needs a volunteer. Dam arm. hehe but I get out there and have met and are meeting even more people. Very cool to volunteer - help them and help yourself too! Bicycle, cyclocross, tri/full marathons, walks - I'm in it for lots of them - hehe keeps me rather busy too but fun. And all of them (and lots more) advertise for help.

I used to be an extremely shy person - really shy! Got started to being able to better public speak and took a silent intake of breath and raised my darned volunteer hand and became the publicity director for my one bicycle club, then bicycle race promoter for many years (hehe volunteer of course) - went out and ran places at festivals and talked my ass off for 14 hours for a couple days several times a year at venues and ... loved it. Cried and bitched sometimes at all the hard, hard enduring work I did sometimes, but it was worth it. Ended up with lots of friends and social contacts and a huge different aspect on life. Oh yeah and my one race is being picked up again here - yay UCI racing for Rochester NY - my secret unpaid job begins again 

Anyway you are not alone and you can grow and find new paths within your area and as it looks like even traveling with the insulin. Glad you are a member and are reading the input here!


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## DocRoberts (Mar 13, 2015)

Preacher said:


> OK. An insulin pen is good for 28 days unrefrigerated. How much do they cost without insurance? I'm type 2 diabetic and I know all about monitoring your glucose. A blood sugar monitoring kit is relatively small. I've sewn the back pocket from a pair of jeans onto the inside of my denim vest specifically to hold this. As far as eating to keep your sugar on an even keel....well,..that's unique to you and I couldn't comment on. I take pills, fortunately, and have built up a supply of pills and refills to last me till summer 2016. My scrip is only $24 for a 6 month supply at wally world (made out for double the dose needed).


I'm a type 1, and a vial costs upwards of 200 dollars. The thing is, in such a situation, I'm afraid I'd be going without a scrip. I don't know about pens, since obamacare doesn't cover that anymore. Formerly, everything was taken care of through my insurance (four years ago) and I used pens for all of that, but the price is probably in the same range, along with clean caps. I don't know how much pens would or vials would go for, regardless of how cheap pharmacies sell syringes.



Tude said:


> I hate change, I love change. And sometimes forced change. And I go with it.
> 
> hehe I've lived in the same area (other than the sticks country about 40 minutes from here) all my life. I have traveled from my radius, but I come back. When my Mom goes - my ties here are done. My friends have come and gone and some stuck around - several re-found through social media. But - I have found more people through socializing --- I belong to three bicycle clubs, neighborhood associations, garden clubs, way toooooo many website forums where I've met and stay in touch personally with 50-100 plus people - and more. Things change but you can roll with it. I've gotten where I enjoy it. I'd love to meet you!
> 
> ...


I'm extremely solitary, which is why I'm terrified and in love with the road. This huge fear in me has been born out of the fact that my long term friends have chosen the sedentary 9-5 lifestyle without ever going on adventures, etc. I've had the misfortune of being under my family's thumb due to illness since birth, and have always wanted to make like a bandit and run around the country.


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## Tude (Mar 13, 2015)

DocRoberts said:


> I'm a type 1, and a vial costs upwards of 200 dollars. The thing is, in such a situation, I'm afraid I'd be going without a scrip. I don't know about pens, since obamacare doesn't cover that anymore. Formerly, everything was taken care of through my insurance (four years ago) and I used pens for all of that, but the price is probably in the same range, along with clean caps. I don't know how much pens would or vials would go for, regardless of how cheap pharmacies sell syringes.
> 
> 
> I'm extremely solitary, which is why I'm terrified and in love with the road. This huge fear in me has been born out of the fact that my long term friends have chosen the sedentary 9-5 lifestyle without ever going on adventures, etc. I've had the misfortune of being under my family's thumb due to illness since birth, and have always wanted to make like a bandit and run around the country.



I am a female, long distance bicyclist (not like one of the bestest here ever soloist Kate Westcoast - I bow to her) who enjoys distance by myself. These are my trips for now. I enjoy them - whether 1 day or 3 days or 5 days... I'm out and am off going where I want to go. Sometimes I have tent, other times I splurge (depending on area - hate camping by bug infested crappy areas or some really touchy nasty areas) on motel. My Mom doesn't care for it of course and I'm certainly not a kid hehe. BF is going to experience a 3-5 day trip by myself later this Summer. But I plan and pack wisely. Perhaps a one day start out by yourself would be fun?


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## kaichulita (Mar 13, 2015)

Everyone here has some pretty solid advice already. I guess to chime in... 

Here's a quote I like to remind myself of often: "The only constant thing in life is change."

People come and go in life. I like to believe that they step into my life to teach me something and once their purpose for being in my life (and me being in theirs) has been fulfilled, we drift apart. There are those people though, that I will try my best to keep in my life because I have grown up with them for a long time. These people, who I consider to be my closest friends, are not in my day to day life anymore like they used to be. However, we refuse to let the friendship die because we understand that although things change, we still have each others' backs and we try our best to keep in touch. Maybe we will eventually stop talking, who knows, but I know that things will flow naturally and everything will be okay. The idea that they aren't the only people out there that I can form a close friendship with comforts me, should I lose contact with my childhood friends.


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## DocRoberts (Mar 13, 2015)

Tude said:


> I am a female, long distance bicyclist (not like one of the bestest here ever soloist Kate Westcoast - I bow to her) who enjoys distance by myself. These are my trips for now. I enjoy them - whether 1 day or 3 days or 5 days... I'm out and am off going where I want to go. Sometimes I have tent, other times I splurge (depending on area - hate camping by bug infested crappy areas or some really touchy nasty areas) on motel. My Mom doesn't care for it of course and I'm certainly not a kid hehe. BF is going to experience a 3-5 day trip by myself later this Summer. But I plan and pack wisely. Perhaps a one day start out by yourself would be fun?


That's what I've been considering once I have a bit of free time. If nothing else, it'll serve to clear my head a bit.



kaichulita said:


> Everyone here has some pretty solid advice already. I guess to chime in...
> 
> Here's a quote I like to remind myself of often: "The only constant thing in life is change."
> 
> People come and go in life. I like to believe that they step into my life to teach me something and once their purpose for being in my life (and me being in theirs) has been fulfilled, we drift apart. There are those people though, that I will try my best to keep in my life because I have grown up with them for a long time. These people, who I consider to be my closest friends, are not in my day to day life anymore like they used to be. However, we refuse to let the friendship die because we understand that although things change, we still have each others' backs and we try our best to keep in touch. Maybe we will eventually stop talking, who knows, but I know that things will flow naturally and everything will be okay. The idea that they aren't the only people out there that I can form a close friendship with comforts me, should I lose contact with my childhood friends.


Change is a damn awful thing, and this is the first time I've come to say that. Normally, I love change and roll along with it. I think the only reason I'm reacting so strongly is because of how long I've known these people, and the changes feel completely alien. At the same time, the changes they're making ripple out and are going to force me to become a different person while figuring out what to do with myself while they're finding new lives, etc.


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## SkyeMoone (Mar 13, 2015)

Because : The only way out is through .... This is my life , my choices , my mistakes & my lessons . I have nothing to prove & as long as I am not hurting people , I need not worry what they think of me ! You cannot become a Master by remaining a Follower my friend ! True strength is in the soul & spirit , not in muscles. It is about having faith & trust in who you are & a willingness to act upon it . Even if a situation or relationship doesnt work out at all , its still worth it , if it made you feel something new & if it taught you something ! Go in Peace


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## Deleted member 2626 (Mar 14, 2015)

good post. it is tough to be a person who can't just be a conventional kind of people. My best friend has no real intentions or ever speaks of leaving town for more than a week or going anywhere. I've had to really pester him just to get him to go on a few week long trips from a job he's worked 5 days a weeks nearly 40 hours a week since he was like 14 and he's 23. It's just like man how could some one do that? but then people that do that look at people who think oddly as, man how can they not want money? how can they sleep outside with intent? Hit the road and go back eventually. That's what I do, yeah my friend back here's life is boring as fuck and I can't really do much with him a lot because I'd rather be alone with my dog then be in a boring task with someone. One of these days I will not come back probably but for now I'm content. One of these days that thought that is in my head while being back will stick while I'm away and I'll avoid this shit area for good or complete minute moderation. Making new friends is easy if your a decent and non opioniated person. I am weird, bizarre and have out there ideals and thoughts but still make friends and buddies like nothing. just have fun and be yourself. life is a lesson. . .


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