# How many of you were/are scared as hell?



## Everymanalion (Jan 30, 2012)

Ive traveled before but with a friend each time to other countries(Mainly central and south america, the whole hostel thing) Now im contemplating leaving NYC tommorow with no money at all, a straight route to florida and the scared as all fuckin hell. I am almost 24 years old, im very social and never had anxiety, i have my whole damn face covered in tattoos for god sakes but this...this scares the fuckin shit out of me.... i have a comfortable life but i want more.... who has experienced this and pushed through it and it was actually WAY worth it?

Im giving up financially security, my home, my dog(he cant go for a multitude of reasons), cell phone and well... you can call me a pussy but im bound to be nervous, leaving for good is a big step. Please share your experiences or tips on easing this. thank you


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## Kim Chee (Jan 30, 2012)

stepping off that ledge is not only one of the more scary things I've done, but it is also one of the most liberating things I've done. Had I known before what I know now I would have done it long ago. Enjoy the thrill!


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## Pheonix (Jan 30, 2012)

why are you giving up the cell phone? it is still a good tool on the road.


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## Everymanalion (Jan 30, 2012)

I mean i can always come back to this. But still, i know when i leave i wont want too, its my 24 birthday soon and i feel im getting older and i want to start already, i just need encouragment from fellow "fuck ups"


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## Everymanalion (Jan 30, 2012)

Well im keeping a shitty flip phone but not my iphone 4s is what i meant ha


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## frzrbrnd (Jan 30, 2012)

i'm about to go out on my own for the first time in a few months -- i was traveling with a crew of two to three others last fall and then we all went back to the city we started out at and i went back to my hometown a month after that. in the time since i've been home i've been just getting a bunch of gear kicked down and waiting for spring to come. it's still a month or two before i'm going to leave, but i don't feel too worried about it right now (tho that may just be because it's not that close to my leaving-date yet). it's like going out with a crew was a trial run for doing it on my own in the future.

when i went out the first time, i was scared, but not too scared. i was at a point where i didn't really have much else to lose, so i was excited; what i _was_ afraid of, was going through trainyards -- i had -- and still have -- no desire to get caught by a rail cop. or like the time when, having been on the road for only about three weeks, one day all my crew went in separate directions and disappeared (one of them with my cell phone!) for about twenty-four hours and i thought i'd been ditched in the lower east side in manhattan.


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## Everymanalion (Jan 30, 2012)

Shit that is scary, i dont have much to lose either compared to other people but for me, this is the most ive had in my entire life. I grew up in liberal ass portland OR and moving to NYC has made me so materialistic and lazy its just horrid


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## frzrbrnd (Jan 30, 2012)

it's weird -- when i was out on the road, getting ditched by my buddies seemed like the scariest thing, but now i'm excited about the prospect of going out on my own. the thing that scares me most now is boredom -- waiting for trains and other rides can be boring as hell with no one to entertain you!


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## Everymanalion (Jan 30, 2012)

I guess im not so much afraid of things i should be, like getting rolled, or caught by the cops or any of that but i know when i leave, its for good.


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## freedude2012 (Jan 30, 2012)

well here soon im headed out into the open world for the first and last time ( the hell with the robot world and its dam programmers ) aswell and beleave me im scared shitless as well and ive basicly been sent into hell with shoe string to use to escape and there are things im worried bought and things i should be and things im not at all. but from past life experiances ive learned to make a plan and use it as a guide line (i.e. places you want to drop into or ppl you may want to stop and see/meet, ect..), jump the hurtals as they come, and to sit back and enjoy the ride as much as you can and find ways around, over, and through therough parts. you jus have to remember good points and learn form the bad ones.

so i say do like im doing get some advice, load your pack with the essentials for survial and jump out both feet and hit the ground runnin.

the reason im sayin this is-is like i said thats how im gonna do it, because im vary proud to say that i KNOW 4 SURE that im gonna meet great ppl and make even better friends along the way. so let the river of life flow because im headed on a neverending journey and im the good, the bad, the ups and downs, whips the whirls because READY OR NOT WORLD HERE I COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## FLoP (Jan 30, 2012)

I went from NYC to Daytona beach fl this time last year. I luckily got a ride share from Craig's list for the whole trip down. I was solo. Hiked 20 miles with a hard cased banjo and a dog to go to Ocala. Then I ran into kids and had a good week. Then back on my own....with the dog. Hopped from jax to Florence sc and then to hamlet, Then got on the wrong Train that then stopped and disconnected at midnight in the middle of nowhere and wound up back in Florence. Then got a hitch all the way back up to jersey from a gay trucker. I was by myself for the whole trip and it did get sketchy at times. But I found that if you enjoy the scare and push yourself as hard as you can, then you can have more fun. It sucks being alone, depressing as hell. But just have fun. Why else are you going out for ya know


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## JoelRailDude (Feb 25, 2012)

I got to Bump this thread a little:
I'm also thinking of leaving town, I been stuck on the same bullshit for years, I've been trough 13 jobs in 3 years, because florida is the temporary assignment capital of the world, I spent a few weeks away from town squatting with the occupy movement. I tought me that life only requires essentials, that squatting is not difficult, and the most difficult thing to come by is a shower. I felt liberated, i figured, if I can make it a few weeks, I can make it for longer. I need a cheap way of transportation, train Hopping came to mind.

My mind is a whirpool of ideas now, I successfully rode a Intermodal for 5 miles, then it stopped for god knows what reason, decided to bail out. I havent got the nerve to do it again, but when this temporary job I have now bust, I'm gone.


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## scatwomb (Feb 25, 2012)

Have you left yet? How does it feel?


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## ceege (Feb 25, 2012)

Yea I'm curious too, you on the road yet?


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## DisgustinDustin (Feb 25, 2012)

Take your iPhone fool!!!!!!
You'll be glad you did..


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## JoelRailDude (Feb 25, 2012)

I second that. an Iphone can be used anywhere there is WI-fi, also a camera, ( nice pictures and video) and allready programmed to upload them. you can download Cached maps and use GPS. look up trainyard directions, services etc. Even then you can downgrade to a phone only plan, same price as a flip phone, no?


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## Kphoenix (Feb 25, 2012)

Everyone gets scared/nervous when they leave. You are separating yourself from the tit. learning how to fly, etc. once u jump youll be good. i got rid of everything except for a couple pairs of clothes, some misc items and a sleeping bag and ive done great. theres always phones and computers around somewhere that someone will let you use if you really need it. plus i personally feel that not being up to date on whats happening in the matrix everyday makes the experience way more fulfilling. dont be scared man, that nervousness will soon change into zealousness. good luck dude.


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## frzrbrnd (Feb 25, 2012)

Libraries are an excellent resource. Most of them will give you a guest pass to use their computers if you have an ID.


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## Everymanalion (Feb 26, 2012)

Naw i actually had to take care of some legal BS before i leave so i have to wait until december, damn probation but its not that long:/ thanks for all the advice guys!


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## frzrbrnd (Feb 26, 2012)

fuck dude that's like almost a year.


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## JoelRailDude (Feb 26, 2012)

Well, if its a minor problem and you're leaving town or state, for good, then fuck it, bail out, be free!!


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## ipoPua (Feb 26, 2012)

im fucking terrified lol. but its better to take a risk than to guarantee stagnation. im absolutely horrified, im leaving my girlfriend of 3nahalf years, my first mature love, t take this trip and i'm -still- not sure if its the right decision. but i know i need to do it regardless. fear should never keep you from your dreams. im sorry youve got a delay dude that sucks:C


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## CelticWanderer (Feb 26, 2012)

I left home on my own when I was 18. Went to a rainbowgathering in Ocala Fl, and then hitched to oklahoma. 
It was scary sure, and I got picked up by a pedo(that was the wrost of it) but all in all I say it was way worth it. No other reason than I love adventure and it was the greatest experience of my life. 
Keep your wits about you and /alwayls/ listen to your gut instinct, even if something is a little sketch, like ride or something, dont do it. Your instincts will carry you far and keep you safe.


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## laughingisharder (Feb 26, 2012)

Lol HAHAHAHA yeah seriously dude you hop on the site talk in ig shit about leaving and then pussy out cause your scared you might get locked up for a month or two for skipping probe, plus dude they can't chase you all the fucking way across the country, use a fake name or something, shit the only difference right now between jail and your living condition is you buy your sodas and ramen noodles from wal mart instead of commissary. Hit the road live differently, traveling freight ain't just about how far can you go and getting across the country for free, it's about an alternative to the mundane society that has been created around us.chances are what your going to do is try and find someone to go with you before December and if you don't you might actually have the balls to go at it alone. You'll get somewhere meet some kids travel the country living under bridges and in yards either playing music or drinking your time away, oh wait maybe you'll meet some girl who will house you up for a month and that'll be fun, better yet maybe a communal ogle punk house who composts and pretends to have secrets all day long about how they are saving the community by pooping in a bucket and growing tomatoes in it....oh yeah dude that sounds amazing...fulfills my every dream.

Think differently, there is a lot to do in life as long as you have someone who actually believes in a bohemian style of life to show you the way,

Train core hardcore elitist magazine, hop every line butt necked barefoot backwards with a sleight flange hair on fire dirty face kid style 

Up to your ears in wine bottles just to see if while surfing the top of an empty rack you fall of into the water down below lol breaking bottes inside tunnels and shattering glass on the kids car across the knuckle fuck safety live fast die trying, death or glory forever

Haha yeah dude push through your fear if you die you lose and game over hopefully someone else carries your idea on the the future

I died almost once falling off a train after downing a forty or two of two eleven, after which I tried to chase down another train and jumped on it a good seven times at least just to make sure I could foot with a buzz, once your on the train your safe just know your footing so please safety brigade pleasedont start preaching to me about it again. Don't hop on the fly with a bag you can't carry properly or with an untrained dog, or if your afraid of the tons of steel trying to destroy you.actually just don't hop on the fly...unless your a ninja fucking turtle okay. And if you think your going to fall when you try fuck just do something else....buy a fucking greyhound for all I care but it's better then you getting your ass splattered across pour tracks and having the owners get pissed at us and crack down. Think ahead and plan.


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## JoelRailDude (Feb 26, 2012)

I have to second what *laughingisharder* just said. You will always find excuses to stay. FEAR is the only thing keeping you from your freedom. You limits end where your fear begins. Just plan whatever the fuck you want, and LEAVE. 

I was about to leave soon I was collecting unemployment to save up, Now i got this kick ass job doing whatever work i want with a hot Russian Intern on my side getting paid like 18$ an Hr...Thats my excuse, once that shit is over, I'm done. I'm out, Fuck this shit, I'm leaving. So should you.


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## frzrbrnd (Feb 26, 2012)

shit, dude, when you're collecting unemployment is the BEST time to go. one of my roaddogs was on unemployment while we were out on the road and it was awesome. was never really difficult to make the money we needed, haha. but, as with all things, it came to an end eventually.


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## alchemystik (Feb 26, 2012)

"Forget safety. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation. Be notorious." -Rumi


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## H Hart (Feb 26, 2012)

I'm still a teen an I'm thinkin about busting out. It may seem naive, but I do know a few pretty experienced squatters, and I've done some homework. It's anxious, but were about to get evicted, an where i would end up just isn't where I want to be. It makes me nervous but either I do it now or live caged up. Just know ur def not alone, man.


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## outskirts (Feb 26, 2012)

alchemystik said:


> "Forget safety. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation. Be notorious." -Rumi


Great Quote!


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## outskirts (Feb 26, 2012)

pheonix said:


> why are you giving up the cell phone? it is still a good tool on the road.


Yeah, keep your old smart phone!
Even without phone service you can still use it as a mini computer, maps, weather, camera, calendar, alarm clock, address book, etc.
My old Droid Eris has wifi so I can use it anywhere, just can't make calls or do texting on it.
Even better yet, I plan to get one of those emergency flashlights that has 3 power options(battery, crank, solar) and USB charging port, plus Radio.
Yeah, I said alarm clock. Sometimes you gotta sleep places where really need wanna be out by dawn, and damn sure don't wanna over sleep.
Just set the alarm to vibrate and keep it close to your body.
Don't get rid of your phone!


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## frzrbrnd (Feb 26, 2012)

outskirts said:


> Yeah, I said alarm clock. Sometimes you gotta sleep places where really need wanna be out by dawn, and damn sure don't wanna over sleep.


Not to mention if someone offers you temporary work while you're out on the road and you need to be up and at 'em early in the morning.


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## outskirts (Feb 26, 2012)

I didn't mean to get this thread of topic with talking about cell phone, just felt it needed to be said.

So back to "being scared". I remember the first time I hitched a ride I felt a combination of fear, excitment and... something else, something that I could not quite put my finger on at the time, some strange longing. Latter I came to realize what it was and how powerful a driving force it was. What it was, was uncertainty. The unknown either draws people in or chases them away. It is at the core of all adventure. When I look down a road that's what I always see ahead of me, a horizon of uncertainty.


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## H Hart (Feb 26, 2012)

outskirts said:


> I didn't mean to get this thread of topic with talking about cell phone, just felt it needed to be said.
> So back to "being scared". I remember the first time I hitched a ride I felt a combination of fear, excitment and... something else, something that I could not quite put my finger on at the time, some strange longing. Latter I came to realize what it was and how powerful a driving force it was. What it was, was uncertainty. The unknown either draws people in or chases them away. It is at the core of all adventure. When I look down a road that's what I always see ahead of me, a horizon of uncertainty.



Damn good quote outskirts


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## SeeYouInIceland (Feb 29, 2012)

the whole month before my first trip i would wake up in the morning and think "oh shit, this is about to happen." then, as i woke up more and had my coffee that fear would turn to excitement. sort of my morning ritual. one day i stopped a guy with a huge pack and asked him what advice he had for me. he said "keep a level head and always have ambitions, not inhibitions." i think that's especially important on your first trip, having goals to keep you focused. it's good to be afraid sometimes, bad to let the fear take you off your game.


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## FLoP (Feb 29, 2012)

That does suck. I hate the wait


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## RubyOutlaw (Feb 29, 2012)

Only upon jumping will you learn that, good or bad, there is always something that will catch you. My first time out- about seven years ago- I was nervous. I had never been able to do something so dramatic as walk away from it all....and I walked away from a lot! But in time I learned to trust the jump and it became the only stable thing in my life. Yes, it is scary. But not scarier than spending your whole life waiting to die.


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## DregeDE (Feb 29, 2012)




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## Pepin (Oct 17, 2013)

My biggest fear is getting on the train for the first time.


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## Boneless (Jul 13, 2014)

This thread is kinda dead, but still.
Me and a friend of mine are taking off south in the summer of next year (it's winter at the moment, Australia) after finishing our last year of high school and to be honest I'm not scared. I just wanna leave this shithole of a town.


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