# So I Want To Apologize



## Shwillam (Jun 22, 2017)

Hey there folks. So i wanna say im sorry about my content and attitude on some peoples threads as of late. Not that i completely rebute some of my opinions on certian subjects but i have been being an aggro young kid lately. Im dealing with a hard time in my life and have had a habit of taking it out on other people. Ive been trying to learn to admit when im wrong and yea... I was wrong in my conduct. I will do my best to start submitting my views and opinions in a more constructive way rather than name calling and insults. I sincerely do want to be a subjective and level headed person, and not that its any excuse, but my manic depressive disorder can make me not think straight at times. Im always growing and learning and at 22 years old i have a long ways to go. This community has been helping me learn a lot of theses lessons and i really appreciate the people here for that. I dont want to be that person to make people not feel welcome here. So yea, rant over. Thanks for being awesome peeps and calling my ass out when needed. SIRIUS OUT! lol


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## CricketsChirping (Jun 22, 2017)

Been there. Ive been banned from some IRC channels because of bipolar related shennanigans. Im not someone you have bothered but ill vouch for anyone who lays it out and appologizes like you did. EVERYONE listen up! i think this guy is cool... hehe


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## AlwaysLost (Jun 22, 2017)

Sirius said:


> Hey there folks. So i wanna say im sorry about my content and attitude on some peoples threads as of late. Not that i completely rebute some of my opinions on certian subjects but i have been being an aggro young kid lately. Im dealing with a hard time in my life and have had a habit of taking it out on other people. Ive been trying to learn to admit when im wrong and yea... I was wrong in my conduct. I will do my best to start submitting my views and opinions in a more constructive way rather than name calling and insults. I sincerely do want to be a subjective and level headed person, and not that its any excuse, but my manic depressive disorder can make me not think straight at times. Im always growing and learning and at 22 years old i have a long ways to go. This community has been helping me learn a lot of theses lessons and i really appreciate the people here for that. I dont want to be that person to make people not feel welcome here. So yea, rant over. Thanks for being awesome peeps and calling my ass out when needed. SIRIUS OUT! lol



I'm sorry to hear about your friend brother hang in there!


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## DrewSTNY (Jun 22, 2017)

I hear you, man. There are days were I want to rage quit life, too. I generally take it out on my family if I loose it which is really bad, so it takes a monumental effort not to do or say something stupid to those I care about the most. Peace. Time to go sit in a very beautiful place and remember who we really are.


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## CricketsChirping (Jun 22, 2017)

DrewSTNY said:


> I hear you, man. There are days were I want to rage quit life, too. I generally take it out on my family if I loose it which is really bad, so it takes a monumental effort not to do or say something stupid to those I care about the most. Peace. Time to go sit in a very beautiful place and remember who we really are.



Scum? Not just any scum though, the scum surrounding the lost at sea and ocean, scum of lost treasures and mythical ships, scum of monumental history. Also scum of the douche for some. I dont judge. Idk where this came from. Sleeplessness probably.


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## creature (Jun 22, 2017)

Sirius?
i don't follow folks or otherwise get too involved in the control panel, but i will say that although i've seen you be a bit smarmy, it hasn't been anything i would tag as injudicious..
nothing an apology cannot actually fix, unless whomever you lit up on is actually an asshole..

that being said, i haven't read everything, so i don't know where any of your critical flameouts may have been..
i have *seen* one instance, and that was hard, but by God & the goddamned fucking torpedoes, you *aren't* a *complete* fucking asshole..

yer 22 in the fucking 21st century & yer still trying to maintain, navigate & figure out the incredibly complex waters of pre-detonation morality & ethics, coming out of whatever fucked up shoals you were launched from..

i am, unquestionably & ultimately, proud to have you as my friend.
getting the halter on the horse is a bitch..
& she never, ever, ever, EVER stops fucking kicking..

that may be good, may be bad... dunno..

i've seen you at what i hope is near your worst, and so long as you are learning to choke your halter against those who are just as trapped as you, all you can do is chalk it up to experience & be glad you have friends that although you may have some pretty severe differences with that it isn't seen as being a *complete* asshole, but only as being a *temporary* asshole (sometimes simply translated as "wrong").

what inspires respect, however, when we *are* assholes, is *intent*..
you don't *mean* to be an asshole, in as much as much as you were expressly trying *not* to be an asshole, in order to accomplish or make *non*-asshole points, but you fucked up, because you were, anyways..

this really doesn't matter.

whatever shit you pull, so long as you attempt to recognize it & apologize, is nowhere even near.. not even in the same universe, as a fucked-up prejudiced, asshole redneck sexist asshole..

your unintended fuckups aren't worth damaging my fingertips over, any more, so i think it's enough to just note that yer ok..

you really are ok..

woof & bow-wow, mofo..


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## DrewSTNY (Jun 22, 2017)

Now that I think about it, this reminds of a guy who sat next to me in business class. The first thing he said was, "i'm sorry for what I am about to do." He then broke open his briefcase which had about 50 of those little shot bottle liquors and drank every last one of them. Then passed out. I wasn't upset other than the m/f didn't share.


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## Shwillam (Jun 22, 2017)

creature said:


> Sirius?
> i don't follow folks or otherwise get too involved in the control panel, but i will say that although i've seen you be a bit smarmy, it hasn't been anything i would tag as injudicious..
> nothing an apology cannot actually fix, unless whomever you lit up on is actually an asshole..
> 
> ...




Dude... Thank you... You have no idea how much that means to me. Im honored to call you my friend. My brother, if you will. You are someone i respect in the absoulte most degree and man... That really just touched my heart. I swear, im trying, and ive been very lonely for a long time. Its nice to have true friends, that will forgive my transgressions, recognize my inentions, and call me out without leaving me behind. Hope youre doing well buddy. Fucking love ya dude. Cant wait to see you again and drink some saki.


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## iflewoverthecuckoosnest (Jun 22, 2017)

We've ALL got a lot to learn, Sirius. Sometimes I feel like I don't know which way is up, and I don't even have a manic depressive disorder. Take care.


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## Shwillam (Jun 22, 2017)

Thank you, everyone. Its a tough day a tough life and between you all i feel way better. Ive been crying my eyes out this morning over a couple different factors but...

I dont feel alone anymore. Thank you punk rock, thank you travelling, thank you to my wonderful family and THANK YOU YOU DIRTY FUCKERS, because idk if id still be alive without you.

Ive never felt like i truly had friends before but you folks are the best goddamn people on this planet.

To @Matt Derrick for creating the infrastructure to facilitate this community, to @creature for your kind and informative words, to @EveryLastFuckingOneOfYou for being apart of a beautiful culture that i feel like i fit in, thank you.

Travel hard, stay safe, keep warm at night, and keep being some hardcore motherfuckers. Thank you for giving me a place in life and dealing with my bullshit. StP for life! This site has been helping me grow and i could ask for nothing more from a community.

Id do ANYTHING for you folks. Lets go punch a nazi together someday, aye? Fuck yea guys. Thanks.


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## AaronOnTheRoad (Jun 22, 2017)

Same age as me that's pretty cool.


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## Art101 (Jun 22, 2017)

Ya get up Cheyenne way let me know we can at least take out for some food.


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## Deleted member 8978 (Jun 23, 2017)

I have been out of action lately, which I admit. There has been times I would lay back and observe everything here at the forums. All I been thinking about lately is lower budgets, a new set of partials, returning to college, figuring out what to do to keep the expenses paid, and one more well-deserved train ride along the Georgia east coast set somewhere in the near future. It would make no sense for me to keep repeating myself as I feel it would annoy others.

In a way, it's good to know everything is looking up for you. Just lay back for the most part and you'll be alright.


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## tennesseejed (Jun 23, 2017)

@Sirius I know the feeling man, I have been very edgy lately, because of some stuff that I'm dealing with. The fact that you care enough to post that is awesome. Glad you are part of this community man. Hope you feel better soon.


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