# what's your favorite sayings/aphorisms?



## CelticWanderer (Oct 29, 2018)

so one of my favorite things about traveling is learning new and odd sayings, I'm sure y'all have some good ones so let's hear it!
I'll kick it off with a few of my favorites that I've picked up over the years.

"Its hotter than a fresh fucked fox in a forest fire."

"Its comin down harder than a double cunted cow pissin on a flat rock."

"Them dogs do hunt."

"You'd rather try an stick a wet noodle up a wild cats ass than fuck with me."


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## Deleted member 20240 (Oct 29, 2018)

Keep it up and you'll be admiring my butt from the pavement, with a straw.

Pretty sure it was a ripoff from the wringer. Makes no friggin sense and thats why I love it.


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## roughdraft (Oct 29, 2018)

if the pope shits in the wood and no one is around to hear, does it make a sound?


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## Jackthereaper (Oct 29, 2018)

CelticWanderer said:


> "You'd rather try an stick a wet noodle up a wild cats ass than fuck with me."



In the same spirit i once heard a mobile welder tell someone who wasnt the boss on the jobsite who had bothered him

“You’d sooner jerk off a lion with a handfull of picker briars before you stop me whilst im working again”

*Edited for spacing


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## Benji91 (Oct 29, 2018)

"I'm so hungry I'd eat the arse out of a low flying duck"


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## CelticWanderer (Oct 29, 2018)

kIlL a KaRdAsHiAn said:


> Keep it up and you'll be admiring my butt from the pavement, with a straw.
> 
> Pretty sure it was a ripoff from the wringer. Makes no friggin sense and thats why I love it.


haha, ones that don't make no sense are fun. "A day spent In a well is a day well spent." is one I like that sounds like a proverb but is just dumb nonsense.


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## Benji91 (Oct 29, 2018)

Oh, and "Dry as a dead dingoes donga". Gotta love country QLD for this sort stuff


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## Eng JR Lupo RV323 (Oct 29, 2018)

Long before I started working for the railroad, actually it was my very first job at 18 years old. I worked in a slaughter house/meat packing facility. One day in the break room some of the older guys were discussing new trucks, someone mentioned a specific model and one of the salesman from the office piped up loudly in a Texan sounding accent "I wouldn't shove one of them up my ass if I had room for a whole freight train." 

It's certainly not a favorite saying of mine or one that I've ever used but I felt like it might belong here none the less. One that I actually do like, I just heard last night actually. "Shittin in high cotton" meaning to really have it made.


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## CelticWanderer (Oct 29, 2018)

Engineer J Lupo said:


> Long before I started working for the railroad, actually it was my very first job at 18 years old. I worked in a slaughter house/meat packing facility. One day in the break room some of the older guys were discussing new trucks, someone mentioned a specific model and one of the salesman from the office piped up loudly in a Texan sounding accent "I wouldn't shove one of them up my ass if I had room for a whole freight train."
> 
> It's certainly not a favorite saying of mine or one that I've ever used but I felt like it might belong here none the less. One that I actually do like, I just heard last night actually. "Shittin in high cotton" meaning to really have it made.


what a bizzare thing to say haha. shittin in high cotton is pretty good. I like that one.


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## Desperado Deluxe (Oct 29, 2018)

"dont step on your d*ck."


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## balaperdida (Oct 30, 2018)

"We'll burn that bridge when we get to it"


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## Rufiodies (Oct 30, 2018)

It is what it is.


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## CelticWanderer (Oct 30, 2018)

Rufiodies said:


> It is what it is.


you don't think it be like that but it do


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## All Who Wander (Nov 3, 2018)

All who wander are not lost... tolken


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## Deleted member 21429 (Nov 4, 2018)

Once asked an old man how his day was and he replied "If I fell into a barrel of tits, I'd come out sucking my thumb." Never forgot that one. ~ peace


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## Chazten (Nov 4, 2018)

It’s all water under the fridge


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## rustyshackleford541 (Nov 4, 2018)

"does the tin man have a sheet metal cock?"


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## otch0z (Nov 4, 2018)

Originally a southern french one that I'll try and translate : "you're so slow [doing ____] that we'd have time to kill a donkey by throwing soft figs at it"


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## Thomas Walker (Nov 4, 2018)

One of my personal favorites, and an old one I believe:

"You couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the directions were written on the heel."


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## Jackthereaper (Nov 9, 2018)

“The proof of the pussy is in the fucking”


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## dumpster harpy (Nov 9, 2018)

"'Tis an ill wind that blows no minds"


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## Jackthereaper (Dec 15, 2018)

“Sometimes the best place to be is where you are”


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## roughdraft (Dec 15, 2018)

claro como caguen los patos

Clear as duck shit


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## Jackthereaper (Feb 18, 2019)

“Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades”

“I could sell a scuba tank to a seahorse”


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## wrkrsunite (Jan 24, 2020)

I used to have a road dog who upon rolling out of his sleeping bag everyday would say " well time to suck the days dick".
And my dad used to say when describing someone with shit luck " that boy could fall in a bowl pussies and come out with a dick".


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## Ptarmigan (Jan 24, 2020)

from an old coworker when I still did tree work:
FUCKIN' THE BALLS / FUCKIN' THE BALLS DUDE
but repeated many many times


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## Hobo Corncob (Apr 26, 2020)

"Don't just stand there like a half sucked off cock!"

"Whatever taxes your peasents"


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## Pwigie (Apr 27, 2020)

Dont die


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## SeetherSalad79 (Apr 30, 2020)

otch0z said:


> Originally a southern french one that I'll try and translate : "you're so slow [doing ____] that we'd have time to kill a donkey by throwing soft figs at it"



MDR, this is a saying from my part of France (PACA - Saint-Raphaël specifically) "C'est comme tuer un âne à coups de figues" - we're always comparing something to figs, it seems. One of my favourites is also "Ça ne casse pas 3 pattes à un canard" which is to say "it doesn't break a ducks three feet" which means, it really wasn't all that extraordinary.


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## Bushpig (Apr 30, 2020)

I want Buscemi's hat from The Dead Don't Die so fucking bad. Great slogan.


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