# Why don't you have sex?



## Deleted member 14481

A question a lot of people insist on asking. For those of you sexless people that are open about your reasons or non-reasons for not being sexually active, why? If you're not open about it, no pressure. This isn't a threat for others to come in and talk people out of their of their reasons and be sexual advisers. ::soapbox:: This is about respect towards "the different", because you know how we treat "the different".

My reasons are that I don't trust anyone, I have an overwhelming fear of STDs, and pregnancy means that the thing inside a person has more rights than the person carrying it. ::rage:: I'm also traumatized non-sexual, but I have interrupted it in relation to my sexual conduct. I'm also actively rebellious. The fact that sex is so marketed into the idea that it's the thing everyone is doing makes me not want to do it.


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## Deleted member 14481

Opps. Fucked up the title. Sorry about that. "You know it's "Why don't you have sex?"


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## Matt Derrick

fixed the title for you.


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## EphemeralStick

I can relate to this. Or rather I should I used to. I am currently sexually active but for awhile I couldn't be. A few years ago I couldn't have any sort of sex unless I was in a black out and was hooking up with several different guys a day. It was pretty bleak. Eventually I decided I needed to change my outlook on sex altogether. I needed to get passed the sexual trauma that happened to me so many years ago and it took a shit ton of effort. I went without sex for about year and through that process I slowly relearned my automatic reactions to sex. The thing is, this was MY choice.

You not having sex is your choice, no matter the reasons. It's perfectly okay to not want to deal with the trust issues. The way that sex is marketed is quite repulsive, so I totally agree with you there. One thing it took my awhile to learn is that I have sex to make myself and someone I enjoy feel good. It is both selfish and selfless at the same time. Before I started thinking like that though I absolutely, positively hated sex and hated how it fucked my head up.

Don't worry you're not alone and I think it's admirable that you have these convictions. Good on you Inuyoujo!


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## Vulture

I just don't understand the hype and esteem about it. Perhaps it's never been my thing...


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## spectacular

there's nothing wrong with having sex. in denial: people who endlessly critique or distance themselves from the act, pretending their focus on it isn't interest in sex itself. as long as one is comfortable and/or uses protection there isn't much that's scary about it.


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## Wawa

I'm asexual because I.... don't feel like doing otherwise?

Masturbation is great. Cool thread.


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## Matt Derrick

rosy palmer is the best gf i've ever had...


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## creature

main thing is def pregnancy..

i mean, when a human gets started, it generally continues based solely upon the choice of the mother.

there is no way, other than tube-work (barring sterility) to prevent pregnancy..

so.. if yer a guy & yer having sex with a girl, how wise is it to actually have sex casually?

i don't think i've ever had sex without being willing to be a father, if that's the consequence which prevailed..

would i *really* want to put *anyone* through the trauma & possible danger of an abortion, just to get my rocks off?

no.

in fact, it's a basic condition that anyone i involve myself with has to be aware of..
that if they get pregnant, i won't disappear..

now i've been told that "that's too heavy" or whatnot, & frankly?
i don't care..

i don't just want a fling fuck, in any case.. not just because of STDs, but because there's a certain amount of depth (for myself, anyways) that returns between two people when they know they can each other with something that might wind up to be the one thing they might find to be more important than their own lives..

there's also something to be said for the discipline that helps people look at each other with equity, rather than desire..

i mean, for myself, anyways, i have great instinctual prejudice towards (towards, not against) beauty, and it can hinder my ability to see people as i might see them if beauty were of much less imaginary value to me..

there's also the whole 'sexual politics' thing, where people aren't whom they really are, because they are negotiating the whole 'quid pro quo' thing, without saying it outright..

but the main thing is that i *do not* want sex with someone on a fling basis, because as a heterosexual, it is a huge fucking risk (no pun intended), & anyone who will fuck me with so little investment in knowing me is *not* someone i want to take that risk *with*..

i *want* to look at people with equity.. i want to *treat* them with equity..

fucking libido gets in the way of that, like it or not, so it *has* to be controled..

how many people on StP have had fucked up parents who couldn't take care of them & who are now fucked up because two people decided to carrot dip without understanding what the fuck they *were actually doing*.??

fucking carries responsibility.. intended or not, accepted or not..

it's about as fun a thing that can ever be done, but man.. think, before you go for the ride...

christ..

anyways..

be good to yer sisters & brothers & love them as much as you can by being *fair* & being *carefull*..


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## Matt Derrick

while i definitely appreciate and respect everyone's input so far, i think the OP's original goal was a discussion on asexuality or why it's a choice that is as valid as any other in sexuality. i could be wrong though, and maybe i should mind my own business


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## Rob Nothing

It's a matter of attraction. After certain kinds of people enter your life, they tend to take your sex life with them on their way out of it. 

I feel different from the norm because the older I get, the more particular I've grown in what I look for in the opposite sex. Seems the other way around for most folks. "looks" are less and less valid, for one thing. I've gone to whores and had a better time with older girls than arguably more attractive younger ones. But I can sincerely agree that sex is over-hyped, and in such a way that is only appealing to a juvenile mindset. At least in the america I've lived in for the last 26 years.


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## Kim Chee

Inuyoujo said:


> The fact that sex is so marketed into the idea that it's the thing everyone is doing makes me not want to do it.



This is exactly why we don't have to worry about Hipsters procreating en masse and taking over the world...because sex is so mainstream.

on topic:
I'm not having sex because my lady is about 3,000+ miles away and my really long penis falls a few miles short of that


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## Skit

Because no one will let me.


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## WanderLost Radical

Because no matter how good looking someone is, I can't find them sexually attractive. And even if I try to fake it, my body won't let me (you know what I mean).
I didn't choose to be an asexual, but after earing my friends complaining about being horny, I find it pretty convenient xD


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## Deleted member 14481

@blizzolizzo
Like I said, this is about respect. Not about trying to fix people or convince them why not having sex is wrong or unreasonable. Part of being sex-positive is accepting that people also DON'T want to have sex for whatever reason, just like accepting people DO have sex for whatever reason.

There are all these post about people discussing their sexual activity, so the non-sexual side needs representation, too. One of our stereotypes as travelers is unsafe sexual behavior with is part of our overall wild and unruly image. It goes along with drugs, drinking, and generally unsafe behavior. Not saying no one else does it, but when someone hears someone is a traveler these behaviors are basically associated with use. There are a lot of travelers that don't drink don't 420, nor do hard drugs. It's like everything "bad" becomes an amplified expectation to our community. We have a lot to show for these travelers and homeless or what have you with healthy eats habits. Also one's that use 420 reasonably, and don't do hard drugs. I say it's time for the non-sexual people to show our faces. If you wouldn't tell anyone one else they're wrong for not doing hard drugs, drinking, or 420, then you are no one to tell us we're wrong. For whatever reason. Period. 

Let me use your sentence:
there's nothing wrong with doing hard drugs
there's nothing wrong with mary jane
there's nothing wrong with drinking
If none of those statements sound ok to you then "there's nothing wrong with having sex" shouldn't be acceptable, either.

This is about people's personal choices and reasons. This isn't about slut shaming or prude shaming.


Thanks to everyone that's posted so far! ::


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## iflewoverthecuckoosnest

I am about a billion miles away from being asexual, but I do go through temporary periods where I choose not to get it on with anybody. I find that it 

a) makes life less complicated (no worries about STDs, pregnancies, social/emotional consequences, etc.)
and
b) enables me to have a greater sense of solitude and clarity.

Also, sex isn't that great unless it's with someone who is really special to you, and when you have sex with someone who is really special to you things are either going to be really, really great or really, really horrible afterward, depending on whether or not you both wind up wanting the same things. It can suck if one of you is cool with no strings attached and the other gets really attached, in other words.

However, sex is very nice. I'm also a 22 year old girl who travels and meets lots of people, so it kind of gets offered to me a lot. I have found that it's almost inevitable that it'll just sort of... happen sooner or later. I'll make friends with someone who is cute, we'll be sleeping on some floor together, somebody gets cold, then cuddly, then sexed up. Humans have been doing it forever. For most of us, it is part of our nature. I just like to take breaks from it because it often has its downsides.

I can definitely see why some choose celibacy as a permanent thing, I just don't see myself doing it. Sort of like vegetarianism, which I also periodically engage in as a means of cleansing myself.


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## Adnil

I've decided to stop having sex about six months ago, my reasons? Well. . .

-I've done most sexual activities, tried different fetishes, etc and at the end I only got jaded by it all
-I've had a kid, caught a few STI's, and my gorgeous permanent herpes virus
-Sex had became an action that was expected out of me, if I rejected , the men will force it and play it off "you like it rough anyways" or "that's my thank you for helping you"
-Last reason, to hold my own self respect and save myself from catching AIDS

To prevent any sexual activities from happening, I simply refuse to spend one on one time with a man. Don't accept help, favors, or gifts from them. And cut them off completely if I receive any flirtations from the said individual. I understand that my decision may not last a lifetime and that my ways of prevention can come off irrational, but this is the action that I currently feel is right to engage in. I must also add that I'm not a femi-nazi, not all men are "evil" mmkay


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## Wawa

Okay, my ealier post was crap, so I'll do better.

This question is hard to answer, even when I kind of want to.

In the last year I've started to identify as asexual. Mostly just in my own head. The minute I did so, I started to worry that giving it a name would make me stubborn - I mean, someday I might want sex. If I get all asexual-proud, I might just throw away something I want someday for no reason. In other words; asexuality is a wierd sexual identity for people who don't want to base their self image on what they are not. Like, I'm an athiest, too, but that just means god and religion are not important parts of my life and I don't want to talk about it.

Now and then I casually drop a "Oh yeah I'm asexual" into a conversation, and it almost always is a bad idea, unless I want to spend an afternoon describing the difference between being celibate and asexual(Ey, thanks for being an exception to this, @EphemeralStick), or explaining that my life is not loveless. God forbid I ever make a dirty joke after that, either! 

Anyway, I guess I can't exactly give a good answer to why I don't want to have sex. I should probably bring it up more often, though, if only to get people used to the idea.


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## Deleted member 14481

@Adnil "I must also add that I'm not a femi-nazi, not all men are "evil" mmkay"

I suggest researching feminism before bashing it. If that's you in your current avatar, don't think your pretty face is why you have rights. You have the civil rights we all have today because people DIED for you to have them. Those people identified as "Feminists". And, a long line of others before that word was even a term, but carried the same ideas.

Internet search the term "femi-nazi" and the people that use that term. Look at what they do to others and what they stand for in using that word. 

In relation to the subject, FEMINISM is why you can choose not the have sex and people that don't respect are considered inappropriate.


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## Desperado Deluxe

Inuyoujo said:


> @Adnil "I must also add that I'm not a femi-nazi, not all men are "evil" mmkay"
> 
> I suggest researching feminism before bashing it. If that's you in your current avatar, don't think your pretty face is why you have rights. You have the civil rights we all have today because people DIED for you to have them. Those people identified as "Feminists". And, a long line of others before that word was even a term, but carried the same ideas.
> 
> Internet search the term "femi-nazi" and the people that use that term. Look at what they do to others and what they stand for in using that word.
> 
> In relation to the subject, FEMINISM is why you can choose not the have sex and people that don't respect are considered inappropriate.



She never bashed feminism she said she wasn't a "fem-nazi." And referred to that term as an adjective to describe some one who hates men for being men.


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## Adnil

@Inuyoujo , I know the difference between a feminist and a feminazi, it seems to me that you either don't or may be a delusional feminazi yourself. 

Thank you Fox Spirit for clearly understanding and explaining my statement.


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## Deleted member 14481

I'm not going to bother arguing with people that use the word. @Adnil @Fox Spirit You're right. I'm the scum of the earth. Cool. Thanks. 

Someone please put the thread back on track.


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## Desperado Deluxe

Inuyoujo said:


> I'm not going to bother arguing with people that use the word. @Adnil @Fox Spirit You're right. I'm the scum of the earth. Cool. Thanks.
> 
> Someone please put the thread back on track.



We never said you were the scum of the earth why do you keep taking things out of context and blowing things up? Just because there are some people that have taken that term and used it out of context does not mean that people like that (fem-nazi) doesn't exist. I can't agree that it is the most appropriate term to use but at the same time why the hell do we have to be super pc about everything? 

Also about the topic of the thread I have yet to describe my feelings about this subject because I find it difficult and complex..


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## Itvo

I've never had any intimate contact with any person simply because I like the novelty of being able to say that; with a strong superiority complex.

Actually, the real reason is because I immediately start discussing strange and eccentric topics with myself alone without any input from the other parties. For some weird reason, complete strangers don't get aroused at hours of listening, er, I mean "Discussing" the Geo-political reasons why Chernoboyl has no sarcophagus built around it yet. 

If only there was some random stranger I could intimately discuss the Geo-political reason why Chernoboyl has no sarcophagus built around it yet. Such a cruel world. :S


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## Deleted member 16034

Itvo said:


> If only there was some random stranger I could intimately discuss the Geo-political reason why Chernoboyl has no sarcophagus built around it yet. Such a cruel world. :S



I will stay up all fucking night talking about Chernobyl or random shit like that. That's my jam, dude. 

Fuck sex, Geo-political reasonings behind Chernobyl's lack of sarcophagi is where it's at!


I don't have sex because I like women and I will lose all support from my entire family if I come out to them. I've had sex with three men in my life while trying to convince everyone I was "straight." It wasn't the worst thing I've ever done, but finding out I'm allergic to semen was. 
I should tell my bizarrely conservative family that "God" is giving everyone the sign that he WANTS me to be a lesbian


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## Hylyx

[didn't read the rest of this troll-bait ass thread]

I don't do The Sex. Identify as asexual, go literal years without putting my junk in others junk, etc. I shoul've learned the lesson when it took till after my 21st birthday to have sex with someone, but nope. Asexuality had never presented itself as an option, then.
It just feels right. I (almost) never feel a sexual attraction to other people. I probably also will seem like the most physically affectionate being you ever met. ::shrug:: 
I dunno how much the asexual thing relates to identifying as non-binary, but I suspect a connection exists. When I fel condif=dent that I could hack off my own junk and live the rest of my short days happily as a genderfuck unik, other conclusions prove hard to draw.


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## bystander

Helyx said:


> I (almost) never feel a sexual attraction to other people. I probably also will seem like the most physically affectionate being you ever met. ::shrug::



ha...

that sums up my feelings as well... it seems that 'normal' individuals do not understand this ideology is even possible?

how can you not find another human attractive? 

I do..

I just dont have the overwhelming urge to rip her cloths off & fuck 'er brains out next to da mickyDs dumpster.

I would..

but it's not an urge.

I love women. everything about them- but I don't got the patience or the skills to be in an active relationship.

I need my fuckin' space & i don't like touchin'- shit throws me off. plus while you're balls deeps goin' at it you gotta worry about sweat & shit. I sweat a fuckin' lot (don't haveta be fuckin' for me to be bustin'... a sweat) shit can be embarrassing unless blacked out.

I'm not celibate- but I don't have the urge to get laid as often as possible... shit sometimes I wish I did! I'm not gunna put no work in- if it happens then fuck yea it happened. fuccckk I haveta remind myself to watch porn and get it in, once in a while. Been a while that I've been laid- only reason I'm throwing myself on the list I guess. some people aren't wired to be horny as fuck I guess...


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## deleted user

I would go further than just the marketing and reference how filthy thses oil men I work with make it. These morally responsible Christian men have endless intimateless, degrading, sex stories you could ever hear, and when out of town, bar hopping, I'm the weirdo because im not try to::fuckinginbed::::fuckinginbed::::fuckinginbed::::fuckinginbed::::fuckinginbed::::fuckinginbed::::fuckinginbed::::fuckinginbed::::fuckinginbed::::fuckinginbed::::fuckinginbed:: every woman in sight.

Just last night I was chilling outside this motel drinking with some drywall hangers and this old boy (probably 18-19) dipped to go meet a hooker his coworker 'rangled' for him. It leaves an impression of a cheap high to me when I see or hear it, equatable to wippits. 

It's been 3 years for me, although I would like to meet someone I hold out because I like to travel and do my own shit without consequences. I fear pregnancy immensely. If it where to happen Id be a good dad but I would feel so much guilt for manifesting a child to suffer and die in this insane dog shit world. Also I would have to work more (around people who don't understand me and try to shit on who I am and believe), take my 401k more seriously,  catter to somekind of normal for the childs sake, etc. 

I too, value trust and intimacy. I've had flings twice in my life and realized I couldn't get hard because the situation was just, not right. Once in a relationship, im relaxed enough but otherwise, i gotta blame it on wiskey dick and try to get threw an awful shitty night. Sex is overrated and doesn't work for me without intimacy, knowing who I'm about to fuck. Would I try a fling again? Maybe, but their would be alot of red tape being sorted in my head as that situation progressed. Lucky I'm laughabley charmless and horrible at noticing ques of interest from women, which depresses me but at least I can walk away from a job without it resorting in a skeleton in a high chair.


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## spectacular

i don't have sex now cause i have herpes. thanks for reading


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## Matt Derrick

bizzolizzo said:


> i don't have sex now cause i have herpes. thanks for reading



not to get off subject here, since we already have a thread for this here, but i think most people treat herpes as way more big of a deal than it should be.


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## Deleted member 16034

Matt Derrick said:


> not to get off subject here, since we already have a thread for this here, but i think most people treat herpes as way more big of a deal than it should be.



The creators of Valtrex couldn't sell much of their product because herpes used to be such a non-issue that they essentially created the herpes stigma. Now we have people killing themselves literally upon finding out they have a skin issue thanks to a fucking pharmacutical company wanting to sell product. 

But I could say the same damn thing about make up and diet pills...


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## spectacular

yeah i'm on my first outbreak and i barely feel a thing. really not that bad


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## dumpstertimberlake

I've been asexual since around the ages of 15-17. Was sexually active with both boys and girls my age at 5 years old, and a peeping-tom while going through puberty. Lost my "virginity" at age 23 to a traveler girl in Olympia.
Sex has always been super-lame. I have zero desire, zero physical feeling.
Maybe I could be demisexual, idk, I've also never gotten that close with anyone so I wouldn't know.
But masterbation is a good way to drain my energy so that I might better submit daily my soul, body and spirit to the death wish of useless living.


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## zipty6425

I got a 3 year old daughter who my family, and the babys momma don't let me see. When the babys momma moved out, she took all her stuff, and most of mine with her. Didn't even tell me she was leavin. I came home to an empty house... My couch, coffee table, bookshelf, brand new laptop... I still got the empty box. LOL Everything was gone. Went in the bedroom, there was just a pile of my clothes in the middle of the floor.

So I took her to court cause I was looking forward to being a parent... I paid my child support every month and still wanted to be involved in any way possible. Honestly I wish I hadn't... She may not have taken me to court for the child support... But they did everything they could to keep me out of the picture, and make it impossible for me to have my weekend visits....

I never want to go thru that again. I went and got a vasectomy ASAP!!! So now sex cant result in pregnancy for me... But still. Life is so much simpler and more enjoyable when emotions aren't getting the best of you... I find it easier to keep my priorities straight when I'm single... Even tho I'm behind on my child support a considerable amount, I'm peacefully alone and making an effort.

Besides masturbation is is just as satisfying. And is much less expensive!!! No movies, no fancy dinners, No head aches or heart aches. Just rub one out Saturday morning in the shower and go mow the lawn. Or change your oil, or whatever else you still need to get done.


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## Pronk

I'm a trans guy who is attracted to men, the odds of finding someone who would be into a dude without a dick is like 0.00000001%. So I just don't bother.


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## EphemeralStick

Pronk said:


> I'm a trans guy who is attracted to men, the odds of finding someone who would be into a dude without a dick is like 0.00000001%. So I just don't bother.


Don't give up hope! They're out there, trust me.


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## Inhibition

I don't tend to find situations where I and a potential partner mutually view each other as equals. Some have some degree of interest in my appearance, but this often diminishes when they get to know me. I might find someone physiologically attractive but might not like their psychology. 

I like to know people psychologically. I like to understand and appreciate people. I want to view someone as an equal and mutually appreciate each other. I would also very much prefer to know if someone is a sociopath before I interact with them sexually.

Basically, a lot of women who would be willing to have sex with me would prefer I was a mysterious stranger they could project their fantasies upon over truly knowing me, which will never meet their fantasy projections. On the other hand women who are interested in taking the time to know someone are often looking for a more dominating/provider/conformist with a laundry list of traits desirable in a man when I'm more of a sensitive, vulnerable, anti authoritarian artist by nature and violate numerous gender expectations on a regular basis.

If mutual respect, equality, appreciation and attraction develop from honest communication, I'm open to sharing sexuality. But if they don't, I won't, and I'm not going to violate any principles or execute strategy to make sex more likely.


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## Charlie

I went to the bar to meet with a friend that wanted a wingman, as soon as i sat at his table, the chick he was hitting on looked at him and said "I liked you more before he came in here". She was pushing 40 and proud of it as she was playing music on the jukebox that reminded her of her pre-teen "glory years". She asked if we knew who the artist was, and I said "I don't know, but the song sounds good" she replied "how can you like it if you don't know who it is". I left the bar, hopped on my bike and was infinitely more satisfied to hit the road.

I've been told that I'm not enough of an asshole, so I called a girl a cunt and she started throwing pool balls at me. I assume that she found my attempts of being an asshole attractive, but that she also likes it rough and making faces of intense frustration.

I brought a puppy into the bar and a lady asked why I have a puppy in the bar. I said "I'm treating others as I would like to be treated, I wouldn't want to be left at home, or left in the car, so I brought her here. Besides that, my dog gets her exercise by chasing pussy".

But really, I'm socially awkward, especially in loud and crowded places, I get quiet around gals that I like, or I make a fool of myself in one way or another, turns out there's limitless possibilities for fool making. Then there's a random and busy schedule, lack of self confidence in that department, learned helplessness, being broke, I've got a guitar, but can't perform under the kind of pressure where people want me to play, I attract arguements, I'm weird in the not bad way, but not the good way, just plain weird, weird.

And then there's the times when I get the opportunity but instead it's a night filled with unexpected surprises and whining "will you rub my feet? this bed's uncomfortable, my back hurts, I'm thirsty, will you make tea? where are you going? will you make tea" I come back after smoking a cigarette "ew, you smell like a truck stop, go take a shower, do you have any lotion?" and then eventually, after hours of tolerating this "I'm bloated and on my period, will you rub my back?" and then she falls asleep and I'm thinking to myself "oh my god she's right, this bed is kinda uncomfortable, ugh, I'm too hot to sleep, but my left leg is freezing, why is it 30 degrees outside the sheets, but 100 under them? oh man, this would be more comfortable on my own. wait, why am I thinking like she talks? this is bullshit, i want out", and then I think about how much worse it would be if a crying baby was tossed into the mix.

and then I'll catch myself checking out a chick, and she turns around and has crazy makeup and smells nice, which remind me of a joke that haunts me "why do chicks wear makeup and perfume?... because they stink and they're ugly!"

and then there's the heartbreaking times when I'm really into a gal and they friendzone me, and hook up with one of my friends.

but when I don't worry about it, I'm free. Nobody can lure me to places and sucker money out of me in hopes of getting laid. I don't have to impress anybody or worry about offending anybody. I can be smelly and dirty. I can sleep in my car on top of a mountain and watch the stars. I can ride my motorcycle without a passenger. I don't have to buy drinks for other people.

God, now that I'm typing out that last paragraph, I can kinda see why I wasn't getting laid from the perspective of those I wanted to get laid by.

I'll tell you what though, it sucks to not be able to have what you want. Don't get me wrong, I don't intend to just get laid willy nilly at every opportunity, it's kinda become a game where I just see if I can, fuck! I didn't think I was so deceptive before, but I guess I was just fooling myself. I feel so low. and to top that off, I've blown my own cover, which makes sense why there's a target for catching crap on me, it seems that overanalyzing paints an even bigger target on myself, so that it presents opportunities for more people to be critical of my actions and words.

^ That ^ right there is the biggest reason why I don't have sex.


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## dumpstertimberlake

Hey, Charlie,
I can identify -somewhat- with what you're saying about being... an unauthentic personality. Sure, it sucks not getting what we want, but -I think- truth is it was never there to be had in the first place.
I dabble in astrology a little bit, and ling story short I have a very "mutable" personality, which basically means I don't have as much of a stable ego personality, and this can lead to me adopting a facade as a means to a supposed end, rather than being my authentic self, which usually just needs to wait, look, listen, and not decide that it "wants" something before anything is actually there, or has been developed.


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## QueerCoyote

I would love to have a lot more sex than I do, but I don't because I can't get down with most people I meet. Almost all straight men view me as a "weird female" and while they might not say anything about it, don't really get what I mean when I say I'm genderqueer. Girls that are interested are usually looking at me as a female, too. Not even on the radar for gay men. Knowing that people don't perceive or understand what it means to be with a queer person turns me off really fast. On top of that most people tend to be pretty vanilla, and I'm not.

The other part of it is my anxiety- I'm unlikely to initiate anything, so a lot of it depends on others initiating.


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## nivoldoog

I have grown tired of being hurt by women and hurting women. Sex is too often used to as a bait and switch. It is almost impossible to have sex and not complicate things. My last real life relationship was a friends with benefits booty call. I broke it off with her because I was worried about her showing up drunk looking to score. Drunk driving is not cool. That combined with my wants of a marriage, family, kids.... I'm tired of cheating on my future wife, is what it boils down to. 

Why don't I have sex?
"I'm scared."


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## Inhibition

QueerCoyote said:


> I would love to have a lot more sex than I do, but I don't because I can't get down with most people I meet. Almost all straight men view me as a "weird female" and while they might not say anything about it, don't really get what I mean when I say I'm genderqueer. Girls that are interested are usually looking at me as a female, too. Not even on the radar for gay men. Knowing that people don't perceive or understand what it means to be with a queer person turns me off really fast. On top of that most people tend to be pretty vanilla, and I'm not.
> 
> The other part of it is my anxiety- I'm unlikely to initiate anything, so a lot of it depends on others initiating.



That's really interesting. I have a non hierarchical belief system that I apply universally. I won't dominate or submit to anyone whenever possible. It makes me very vanilla by BDSM standards as I won't do that even a little bit. 

But I've gotten more interest to be a sex slave from the BDSM community than sex from vanilla people. My theory is it's because I don't partake in social dominance behaviors, which violates male gender roles and repulses the average vanilla person, but people who are interested in dominating me aren't repulsed by my lack of dominating behavior?

Non hierarchical sexual behavior seems really rare. Some kind of social dominance hierarchy is crucial for a lot of people to feel attracted. I'm shot down by most women out of the gate for being disabled and not part of the job market. 

It's interesting how much we conform to gender strongly impacts the pool of possible interactions. If we change our appearance or behavior away from the socially desirable norms, options diminish accordingly. In my case, I turn off vanilla people, while in yours the people available still seem too vanilla.


----------



## AlwaysLost

Wawa said:


> Okay, my ealier post was crap, so I'll do better.
> 
> This question is hard to answer, even when I kind of want to.
> 
> In the last year I've started to identify as asexual. Mostly just in my own head. The minute I did so, I started to worry that giving it a name would make me stubborn - I mean, someday I might want sex. If I get all asexual-proud, I might just throw away something I want someday for no reason. In other words; asexuality is a wierd sexual identity for people who don't want to base their self image on what they are not. Like, I'm an athiest, too, but that just means god and religion are not important parts of my life and I don't want to talk about it.
> 
> Now and then I casually drop a "Oh yeah I'm asexual" into a conversation, and it almost always is a bad idea, unless I want to spend an afternoon describing the difference between being celibate and asexual(Ey, thanks for being an exception to this, @EphemeralStick), or explaining that my life is not loveless. God forbid I ever make a dirty joke after that, either!
> 
> Anyway, I guess I can't exactly give a good answer to why I don't want to have sex. I should probably bring it up more often, though, if only to get people used to the idea.



Is Asexual really the right word? Asexual is a form of sexual reproduction in which an organism splits in half forming 2 identical organisms (barring mutation).

Or has it been appropriated by the celibates of the world? I'm just curious not being snarky.


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## spectacular

Pretty much without money or other insidious tools of dominance establishment, sex would depend mostly on physical attraction including attracting energies. Would probably drop down world population drastically to eliminate money. So many men are able to dominate women with all the mental angles that come with money and it's use. As long as they adhere to its use, most women are no more than breeding machines to themselves, men, and each other since money tends to dissolve social bonds.

Sent from my XT1028 using the Squat the Planet mobile app!


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## scoutwilding

Pronk said:


> I'm a trans guy who is attracted to men, the odds of finding someone who would be into a dude without a dick is like 0.00000001%. So I just don't bother.



Same here, brother. I find guys lose interest immediately upon my disclosing I'm trans or they get way too interested / fetishy / gross.

Its interesting to me that pre medical transition, when I identified more as genderqueer or gender neutral, I was a fucking machine! Now that I'm sober and so much more at home in my body, I'm much more discerning about who I spend time with (in all areas) & find that, while I'm still a total horn dog, I'm less interested in sex but still really enjoy making out / fooling around. These days I identify as Panromantic. I want to make out all day but not 'do it' haha. Its an interesting journey.


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## tootall

got enough going on in my brain, why add a women who may leave me with heartbreak.


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## Coywolf

My last girlfriend told me it's because I'm so fat, lazy, and stupid.......

I am also very ashamed of my 3" penis....::bawling::::bawling::::bawling::


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## Odin

Coywolf said:


> My last girlfriend told me it's because I'm so fat, lazy, and stupid.......
> 
> I am also very ashamed of my 3" penis....::bawling::::bawling::::bawling::


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## AlwaysLost

Coywolf said:


> My last girlfriend told me it's because I'm so fat, lazy, and stupid.......
> 
> I am also very ashamed of my 3" penis....::bawling::::bawling::::bawling::



I was going to make a funny comment but I cant top that one.


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## hypsiphrone

I can unequivocally say that I am one hundred percent over sex. The human body has been completely demystified for me. My romantic fantasies now involve finding someone I can hold hands with or lie quietly next to in a tent. It seems as though the odds of finding that person are nil since everything in every culture, even subcultures, seems very geared towards sex.


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## Odin

hypsiphrone said:


> My romantic fantasies now involve finding someone I can hold hands with or lie quietly next to in a tent. It seems as though the odds of finding that person are nil since everything in every culture, even subcultures, seems very geared towards sex.



Reading History of the Occult while making widgetts at the 9 to 5,,,,,,,,,,,,, from our stone age ancestors to magic n sex... been there since the beginning... interesting to note he claims a lot of primitive tribal cultures were prudish compared to when people began living in the first cities of civilization. Males were not in sexual conquest as much because the primary outlet of dominance was in skills for substance hunting and sex was a seasonal thing for some instead... like one tribe that regulated it to the time deer are in heat. Sex was thought of as a depleting force if overindulged... and compare that to the debauchery of Great Rome and it's excess from boredom. As well fertility and a reverence for the "moon goddess" was a central role as shown in carved figurines exaggerating the breasts and childbearing... while the advent of cities instead saw the appearance of the first courtesans n the politics and power struggles of those interactions. Example of a chinese emperor I think... who had a sullen courtesan and in order to try make her smile summoned all his war generals... only to tell them it was a joke... so he could make the courtesan laugh. Ended up costing him his kingdom later when the generals didn't appear for a real summons to defense.

As .... for your idea of romance. Perhaps if people started out with the quiet time and holding hands things would be simpler... or better.


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## Lara K

Coywolf said:


> My last girlfriend told me it's because I'm so fat, lazy, and stupid.......
> 
> I am also very ashamed of my 3" penis....::bawling::::bawling::::bawling::



ba ha ha... omg i cried laughing just imagine the 3' inch prick would fit in anywhere. Crazy. But hey, skill of the engineer is important or size of the train? a 10' inch would be a train wreck right? ::woot::


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## Lara K

Wah...Wah! Funky thread, never seen this before! I say, why the f*** you should have it! 

For celibates to miss out the big o? Well, methinks he/she may be missing out on certain benefits associated something like... better sleep, stress release, lower blood pressure, lower experience of pain and reduced risk of endometriosis, to name some even contentment. As for the guys, curious case of blue balls. I also think it may reduce ability to relate to, like 90% of your horny peers, some may judge celibates as weird! 'Oh Jeez, maybe he got minnie mee' 'that lady's un-dateable'. Its certain end to a dedicated family tree/ generation if intimacies cut off. Here in India we take social life pretty seriously and a parent wouldn't mind their grown ups date but they have problem in hand if they are celibate or gays (extreme sexual preference may cut off legacy. So who'd they pass on properties/ insurance benefits to?) 

With due absolutely due respect to above comments... bottom line folks, if parents didn't have it- we wouldn't be here! Some who are off sex should try oats, banana.. testosterone boosters.


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## deleted user

hypsiphrone said:


> My romantic fantasies now involve finding someone I can hold hands with or lie quietly next to in a tent.



this. minus the belief that it will ever happen. gotta strive for something in this life, y'all.

edit: I think I'm from a cheesy romance movie, but sue me.


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## Odin

All us bleeding hearts chatting it up in this thread... somehow I ended up with an image search of Nelson and Lisa...


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## deleted user

I think emotional connections are what is most important. Sex is just an extension of expressing that connection. I prefer relations built from time together and getting to know each other. Once people are like that, all intimacy is good. My dream relationship is a polyamorous one I suppose, in which everyone in the relationship is just as close to each other and jealousy is absent. Mix that with travel or some land, and it's my heaven.

Of course, I've only really touched at the possibility, but have high hopes still.


(Also, being a "hermaphrodite" and losing the ability to speak is a strain...)


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## Desperado Deluxe




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## duderino

Because it's been so long that it would just be an embarrising shameful experience.


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## apathyfaction

Celibate for 5 years now, and going strong.

Frankly, I don't get the big deal with sex. I'm pretty good at it - or at least the long string of one night stands and hookups after my ex left me never complained. I always made sure they finished. I finished (not that it's difficult or anything.) Attentive to Thier needs or whatever. And sure, feels great. Emotionally, not just physically.

But after a certain point, you're just a rat in a cage mashing a button for a very brief flood of endorphins. Not worth the 15 seconds it takes or the significance ascribed to to it.

So I don't have sex because the whole stupid game is tedious and hardly worth the effort.

Does that mean I'm gonna turn down a willing participant? Probably not. I'm as easy to get erect as any warmblooded pansexual miscreant.

But I don't go looking for it. Probably not ever going to be high on my to do-list again.

I'm just antisocial like that.


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## sub lumpen filth

last relationship ruint me.


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## ScumRag

I lean towards the "queer" end of the spectrum but definitely identify as asexual.... Just cuz it's safer + my hand always satisfies. It's a great relationship.


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## schmutz

I got to the point where I wanted something long-term and real with someone but then I discovered that if I share who I am with someone they don't want me anymore. Last guy I dated straight called me "someone's left over trash". Not worth it to put myself out there again.


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## mouse

spectacular said:


> in denial: people who endlessly critique or distance themselves from the act, pretending their focus on it isn't interest in sex itself.



I'm not sure what that means. 

In my case it's been about a year when my last (and best) relationship came to a natural end. I'm probably older than most on the forum, and over time I have come to believe that the cost/benefit of sexual relationships just isn't a good deal. I haven't done it before, but I would be open to paying a professional for her services. It'd be cheaper and less stressful in the long run.


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## ScumRag

schmutz said:


> I got to the point where I wanted something long-term and real with someone but then I discovered that if I share who I am with someone they don't want me anymore. Last guy I dated straight called me "someone's left over trash". Not worth it to put myself out there again.



I'm sorry that you had to experience that... But just remember negative comments towards others are usually a mirror image of one's own self worth.


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## mouse

schmutz said:


> Last guy I dated straight called me "someone's left over trash".



Holy crap, that guy was emotionally abusive. Sorry that happened to you. Remember it says a lot more about him than about you.

I had a girlfriend that was conventionally hawt (underwear model for catalogs), and also a clueless narcissist. She say stuff like "People ask me why someone like *me* is with someone like *you*..." She seemed to have no idea that was an obnoxious thing to say. She was used to people giving her special treatment, free stuff, getting away with speeding stops, etc. 

One day I told her no one gives me free stuff and she didn't believe me.


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## schmutz

Thanks, guys. It kinda sucks because I don't think I will be willing to open myself up like that again and....yeah, I see where it was just alot of insecure bullshit but it's hella hard not to internalize that shit sometimes.

Oh well, who needs someone else to have to worry about in this world, it just ties you down and holds you back anyway


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## LysergicAbreaction

I have plenty of sex, so I am not sure why I am posting here, However, I understand The desire to distance oneself from conventional relationships.

In my community freedom of choice and freedom in love are crucial. We practice free love. 

(During the 1960s they were in the middle of a sexual revolution, women were gaining sexual freedoms and civil rights, birth control had become very popular, and culturally young people were abandoning the models of conventional relationships, so their "free love" was very much centered on sex, our "free love" is centered on love itself, you can love anybody, and treat anybody like your brother or sister, there are also deeper levels of love, including those involving sexuality, which are also expressed freely and at the individuals personal discretion. 

Sexuality is one of the peaks of the human experience, and it seems odd to me for an individual to want to deny themselves from one of the deepest expressions of love that humans can show to towards one another.

...I don't think I could have sex with random people or strangers, I have to have a certain degree of love for a girl before I can sleep with her. I mean, I have had "one night stands" where both of understood that it was just fun for that night, but these girls were always my friends, and I always loved them at least as friends if not more. 

...during the last few years I had been taking meditation courses from this beautiful women. She is a lesbian and has a girlfriend, but after years of meditation practice, and after years of love, trust and friendship between us, we began to explore a deeper relationship. This started with certain types of tantric meditation and yoga practices. Eventually we began incorporating LSD, MDMA, 5-methoxy-diisopropyltryptamine, and 2C-B into our Karmamudrā and tantric practices. During These meditation sessions we formed a bond deeper than any two people can ever have, we love each other on a level that most will never know. So, this eventually came to lo light with her girlfriend, who was also a very close friend of mine, and in the end it turned into a 3 way love deeper than any of us have ever known. This girl had only been with two guys in her entire life, and it was a similar situation with her girlfriend. So I was pretty much the only guy either of these girls had really been with. (These are the type of feminist hippie lesbians who truly dislike males, they don't even like when I bring male friends over, though I also dislike males and really don't have male friends, so this is rarely an issue) I was curious as to how I ended up in a relation with these amazing women, and when I asked the response was something along the lines of they don't see me as a male, which I was slightly offended by initially, though it was explained that this had nothing to do with my masculinity, as I am not effeminate in anyway. It has more to do with having a "unique soul".

As males it is our duty to honor, love, empower, and respect our female counterparts. I am a feminist, but in the tradition of emma Goldman, Riane Eisler, and terence McKenna. I dislike males, but this is not related to my views on feminism. 

...with these girls, it isn't a "relationship" though, and while I love these girls more than anybody can, eventually they will move on to other trips and other people, which is part of life, everything is in a constant state of change. This is another aspect of our free love concept, just because you love a person does not mean you have the right to limit them or prevent them from progressing on their own paths. This isn't always easy, but in the end it always works out. I have had to let other girls move on, and while I still love them, and miss them, I want them to be happy, productive, and successful, and sometimes that involves moving on. it's not a selfish love. We love each other unconditionally, but never restrict each others freedom or desires. 

...any way, its complicated, and not something I enjoy speaking about.

I think one of the biggest problems with the world today is that people are afraid to love each other.


I could not imagine a life with out a woman to love, I have nothing but love to give, and eventually I want to settle into a monogamous relationship and start a family. Though I will always feel that love should be shared with every sentient being, and I will always practice free love in the non-sexual form.

...I guess when I find the girl to settle down with I will know. Until them I am fully happy showing love to those who I love and receiving it from them, and enjoying it while we have it, without clinging to it or being saddened when it has to end or evolve or transform.


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## Deleted member 20240

I don't consider myself asexual. Probably more of a weiner snob The Human, commercialized mentality toward sex seems so shallow ignorant and animal to me. " your hot, lets fuk" Is not an appealing stance for me. If people feel that way, fine. But you can't imagine how much crap I've had to deal with on the road because I'm female and I don't want to just take dick because it's around. Personally, I need to be attracted to a person in more ways than physically to even enjoy sex, so why bother, if thats not the case? That's just how I am. We all feel different ways about the subject and thats fine. when people try to make others compromise thier own feelings or make someone feel like shit for feeling a certain way regarding thier sexuality, to appease thier own selfish desires, thats seriously manipulative,twisted and wrong.


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## LysergicAbreaction

I agree with many sentiments expressed In the last post by wISDOM, and believe it or not I view sex in a somewhat similar manner. 

I agree that culturally sex is used as a technique for manipulation and control, and fails to delve into any of the deeper aspects of sexuality itself. Sex is used to market products, to sway opinions, and to generally manipulate human base instincts for some commercial, political or personal means. Culture has also reduced sex to a type of product, and this culture, which is painfully male-dominated, uses sexuality as a key tactic for the control of an individuals behavior.

Then we can look into sex on a social level, which is heavily tied into the cultural views on sexuality, but differs in the sense that it focuses on how individuals relate to these cultural norms and how they actually behave in the real world. Culture wants you to feel that physical attractiveness is of prime importance, they tell you that if you don't have a perfect body, or of you have some flaw regarding you appearance, that the opposite sex will not want you, they have it all boiled down to "who ever is the most physically attractive is the most desirable", and often times this is how individuals actually view sexuality. Most individuals will even reduce people to a one through ten number rating based on physical appearance, which has always disgusted me to some degree.


I can also agree that I don't "want the vagina" just because it's around, and I don't try to sleep with every female that crosses my path. I am also fairly selective, if I don't have a certain degree of love and trust for a girl, I won't sleep with her, no matter how attractive she is or how many attempts she makes to get me in bed.

Sexuality is one of the peaks of human existence, but it's the love behind the physical sexual act which makes it such a powerful force, not the physical act itself. Which is why loveless sex never appealed to me.

Again, I don't have (m)any male friends, and have been told by other males that I "view sexuality like a female", which I don't feel is accurate, I think these males have just accepted and some what enjoy male-dominator culture and politics. Other males will spread rumours that I am somehow "asexual" because I don't display male-dominator sexual tendencies. I also get a good deal of hassle for being a feminist, but I am not going to get into this subject here as I feel the misunderstandings of others regarding my views is of the least relevance to the subject at hand.

Any way, I will stop rambling on . In the quotation section below is a brief overview regarding "dominator culture", I felt it should be included in an effort to promote clarity and understanding regarding the concepts expressed, as the term does have a fairly rigid and specific definition. 



> Riane Eisler presents dominator culture as a cultural construction of the roles and relations of women and men, where men “dominate,” or are in control within society. Regardless of the location, time period, religious beliefs, or advancements in technology, a society might follow the dominator culture model. Eisler characterizes dominator culture as featuring four core elements:
> 
> an authoritarian social and family structure
> rigid male dominance
> a high level of violence and abuse
> and a system of beliefs that normalizes such a society[5]
> The dominator model is framed in contrast to the partnership model. In a sort of reversal of the elements of dominator culture, the partnership model is characterized by:
> 
> organization according to the ideals of a democratic structure
> equal partnership between men and women
> a lack of tolerance for abuse and violence
> and belief systems that validate an empathetic perspective[5]
> By juxtaposing dominator culture with partnership culture, Eisler creates a continuum between the two. She argues that where a society falls on this spectrum influences its culture, beliefs, and actions. Adherence to dominator culture affects people from a personal to a public level, as seen in its societal impact.[1]
> 
> *Historical context*
> The prevalence of dominator culture has shifted over time. Eisler claims that, in the prehistory of humans, partnership used to be the norm. In both the Paleolithic and Neolithic periods, there are examples of matriarchal societies preceding patriarchies. British archeologist James Mellaart, for example, reported a Neolithic site with many female images and no signs of destructive warfare for almost 1000 years.[1] For thousands of years, people lived in these peaceful partnership societies, until warlike nomadic tribes disrupted the balance with their dominator cultures. Since then, fluctuations between dominator and partnership societies have occurred over time, but the primary shift has been towards dominator culture.
> 
> *Societal impact*
> 
> Dominator culture impacts the way a society appears and functions. Riane Eisler posits that “narratives about our cultural origins,” like dominator culture, “reflect and guide how we think, feel, and act.”[1] Though no culture is fully dominator or fully partnership in its construction, the degree to which it aligns with one of these models impacts the beliefs, institutions, and relationships of that society.
> *Gender inequalities*
> The main distinction between the dominator and partnership models, according to Eisler, is their treatment of the relationships between men and women.[5] She argues that, historically, men have been the dominators, leading to patriarchal society that upholds constricting, traditional gender roles. Surveys by anthropologists Peggy R. Sanday and Scott Coltrane support this connection, showing the correlation between a society’s structure and the expectations for men and women. They found that greater equality between men and women led to greater male involvement in childcare.[7]However, because dominator culture upholds a harsh division between masculinity and femininity, it dissociates masculinity from anything stereotypically feminine—even at the expense of benefits such as those reported by Sanday and Coltrane. Accordingly, in these societies that prize domination and power, the societal value for qualities like empathy, caregiving, and nonviolence diminishes. Instead, by viewing femininity as undesirable and inferior, these dominator societies accept and perpetuate violent and inequitable behavior.
> 
> *Power disparities*
> In dominator culture, society reinforces such hierarchies by presenting the dominator model as the natural order of society. According to Eisler, some sociobiologists and psychologists claim that male dominance is inherent in human genes and a product of evolution, demonstrating dominator thinking.[5]Theorist bell hooks has expanded on this, indicating that dominator culture “teaches us that we are all natural-born killers but that males are more able to realize the predator role.” [3] By accepting male dominance as a genetic imperative, society justifies a dominator structure. Consequently, this situates the desire to overpower and control others as part of human identity, according to hooks.[3]
> This hierarchical disparity is not only explained genetically but societally reinforced, extending to “power” more generally. Although Eisler often distinguishes between the two models on the basis of gender, she also applies these hierarchies more broadly to other societal constructions of power, like race, class, and age. Terence McKenna, a friend of Eisler’s and fellow writer, asserts that Eisler's book _The Chalice and the Blade_ “de-genderized the terminology,” framing it as a contrast between dominator and partnership ideologies, rather than just an indictment of patriarchy.[8]Supporting this interpretation, Eisler argues that society’s requirement of children to be submissive and obedient to their parents reflects the influence of dominator culture. Dominator culture encourages the ideology, from childhood, that one either dominates or is dominated. Accordingly, dominator culture not only equates the difference between men and women to superiority and inferiority, but rather “frame all relationships as power struggles."[3]
> 
> 
> *Historical and cultural implications*
> 
> Dominator culture has had varying manifestations in society throughout the course of human history, from the prehistoric warlike tribes of the Neolithic era to present-day displays. The dominator structure of society dictates and shapes the culture that accompanies it. Other authors have used, expanded on, and interpreted Riane Eisler’s idea of dominator culture to apply it to a wide range of fields, as far-reaching as nursing, war, language learning, economics, and ecofeminism.[9][10]
> *Historical and cultural manifestationsEdit*
> Author Malcolm Hollick cites Nazi Germany, Stalinist Russia, and Islamic fundamentalist states as modern, though severe, examples of dominator societies.[6][_better source needed_] The Nazi claim to power, for example, was also accompanied by the call for women’s return to “traditional,” or subservient, places in family structures. However, manifestations of dominator culture are not always so extreme; the effects of dominator culture often manifest in pervasive and subtle ways in society. In the United States, the wars on terror, drugs, and crime perpetuate the use of force to achieve an end and indicate a lessening of certain freedoms.[6][_better source needed_] On a larger scale, sex-slavery, forced marriage, and the acceptance of wife-beating persist around the world. Though the Western world has made considerable strides towards a more partnership society in the past few centuries—Western society boasts of freedom of speech, access to education, political participation, gay rights, and women in the workforce—the shift towards the partnership model is neither universal nor complete.
> Similarly, dominator culture threatens the preservation of the environment. Hierarchical societies that value claiming control justify humans' claims of dominion over nature. Terence McKenna expanded on Eisler’s work, using the idea of dominator culture to illuminate the character of what he sees as Western patriarchal culture—indicating, for example, his claims that it perennially lacks social conscience and lacks concern for the environment. He argues that, “The entire structure of dominator culture… is based upon our alienation from nature, from ourselves, and from each other.”[4] As a result, dominator culture not only accepts but justifies the pollution and destruction of the environment. Daniel Quinn, a philosophical and environmental writer, takes on these issues in his novel _Ishmael_, characterizing dominator culture as Taker culture and detailing its incompatibility with the environment.
> -Wikipedia
> 
> https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dominator_culture


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## Chillhowee90

iflewoverthecuckoosnest said:


> I am about a billion miles away from being asexual, but I do go through temporary periods where I choose not to get it on with anybody. I find that it
> 
> a) makes life less complicated (no worries about STDs, pregnancies, social/emotional consequences, etc.)
> and
> b) enables me to have a greater sense of solitude and clarity.
> 
> Also, sex isn't that great unless it's with someone who is really special to you, and when you have sex with someone who is really special to you things are either going to be really, really great or really, really horrible afterward, depending on whether or not you both wind up wanting the same things. It can suck if one of you is cool with no strings attached and the other gets really attached, in other words.
> 
> However, sex is very nice. I'm also a 22 year old girl who travels and meets lots of people, so it kind of gets offered to me a lot. I have found that it's almost inevitable that it'll just sort of... happen sooner or later. I'll make friends with someone who is cute, we'll be sleeping on some floor together, somebody gets cold, then cuddly, then sexed up. Humans have been doing it forever. For most of us, it is part of our nature. I just like to take breaks from it because it often has its downsides.
> 
> I can definitely see why some choose celibacy as a permanent thing, I just don't see myself doing it. Sort of like vegetarianism, which I also periodically engage in as a means of cleansing myself.



*No strings attached ...this is a concept that most people do not practice.*

*Loving people, places, emotions....etc. in the present moment without letting the mind possess them as "mine".*

*Life is actually lived when the strings are no longer "attached".*



SOMETIMES GETTING FREAKY FEELS RIGHT ...time and place for every thing.

*life is love to me and that love can be expressed in many ways.....*

*physi*

phys


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## saul

my expectations are too high


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## FenrirFox

Because I am out of Chloroform.


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## Coywolf

FenrirFox said:


> Because I am out of Chloroform.



Not funny.


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## mono

cannae risk somebody securing my seed to sell on the black market


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## Deleted member 20683

because i'm over casual hookups/"dating" and don't have time or mental space have a serious relationship.

also, fenrirfox is a nazi apologist making rape jokes, it's only a matter of time before he gets banned. sigh.


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## FenrirFox

Nazi apologist, since when?


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## otch0z

schmutz said:


> Not worth it to put myself out there again.


That is well said and that would be my reason too... I have had very little experiences that were actually good with sex and relationships, be it sexual or emotional, so I developed strong boundaries that don't allow people "in" (in both ways huehuehue). Now I crave for affection but any attempt by someone to be anything more than friends is seen like a threat. To me it's too dangerous, and I wish I could go beyond these traumas but I'm kinda stuck by the part of me who's in charge of defending me and who got a little paranoid.


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## Frypan Meatboots

I have a fear of those warts some people have/get. They get them all over their eyes, and they are obviously genital warts. In some geographical areas warts are really common. You will notice an increased presence of people with those things on their eyes, their eyelids, or their eyecorner creases. Some people get clusters of them all over their necks. Eye warts are a serious thing that is common, just like genital warts. It's really gross. But you only live once, so fuck it. That's what condoms are for. Then you could also get the herp virus. You can have sex but first check for warts of any kind or herpes sores. Don't have sex in the dark.


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## roughdraft

Frypan Meatboots said:


> I have a fear of those warts some people have/get. They get them all over their eyes, and they are obviously genital warts. In some geographical areas warts are really common. You will notice an increased presence of people with those things on their eyes, their eyelids, or their eyecorner creases. Some people get clusters of them all over their necks. Eye warts are a serious thing that is common, just like genital warts. It's really gross. But you only live once, so fuck it. That's what condoms are for. Then you could also get the herp virus. You can have sex but first check for warts of any kind or herpes sores. Don't have sex in the dark.
> View attachment 47279



i want to bite those off >_>


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