# Sometimes I wonder



## spectacular (Apr 15, 2017)

If I should contact the father of my newborn baby. Baby's been adopted to a couple in Merced. We keep in touch and they send pics...He's doing really well, healthy little guy and loves to sleep. 

The dad was on drugs and didn't seem interested in knowing anything when I saw him about the pregnancy to the point where I didn't even bother to tell him.. I just left and never looked back. We were both living outside and now I'm at my parents 1 month postpartum. I'm tempted to go try and find him where I saw him last since I'll be in that area in a few weeks.

He was trying to be threatening and had a beer can in one hand and a meth pipe in the other last time I saw him. He also was paranoid about me stealing from him. So awkward... Oh what to do


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## VikingAdventurer (Apr 15, 2017)

I've never been in this situation, but u would say to just let things be the way they are now, until and unless the biological father specifically contacts you about it.


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## Carlvanguyrios (Apr 15, 2017)

I agree with pocket viking. You need look out for your safety in this crazy world. Honestly this guy doesn't sound safe.


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## Tude (Apr 15, 2017)

I dunno either but if babe has been adopted - and it is really cool that you are in touch with them with pics and you are fine with all then that should be good. If father is out of pic then nm. meh perhaps someday he might try and find out but in the meantime you are you and have are in touch with babe.


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## Shwhiskey Gumimaci (Apr 15, 2017)

This is something no amount of advice from this online community can really give you an answer to. Not really, at least. I think you probably know what you need to do. And I don't know you or your baby daddy, so I don't know what the proper solution is. But this is a personal issue none of us here can give you the answers to. People could give you their opinions all day, but that doesn't change the fact that the choice and consequences lie solely with you.


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## Tude (Apr 15, 2017)

Shwhiskey Gumimaci said:


> This is something no amount of advice from this online community can really give you an answer to. Not really, at least. I think you probably know what you need to do. And I don't know you or your baby daddy, so I don't know what the proper solution is. But this is a personal issue none of us here can give you the answers to. People could give you their opinions all day, but that doesn't change the fact that the choice and consequences lie solely with you.



Very true - we are a traveling community and not a counseling area - should have seen this early but really do seek legal help and I do hope you get your issues resolved.


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## N0MAD (Apr 19, 2017)

So this is my 2 pennies. 
Did daddy know you were pregnant? if he didn't then i'd suggest you leave it as is. No need to kick that nest. If he did then he may be around in the future if he decides he wants to be part of it's life, which as it's adopted will be slim to nil. 
i'd seek some legal advice just to be on the safe side. 

Stay safe


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## spectacular (Apr 19, 2017)

Thanks yeah dad did not know. The temptation arises for want of a family or the kid to know where he came from but oh well.


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## N0MAD (Apr 23, 2017)

spectacular said:


> Thanks yeah dad did not know. The temptation arises for want of a family or the kid to know where he came from but oh well.


If you're keeping in touch with the adopted parents and there's no reason that you couldn't keep in touch -all be it at a distance- with the adoptive parents. Then at such a time when they/baby are ready they could get in touch.


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## spectacular (Apr 25, 2017)

City Nomad said:


> If you're keeping in touch with the adopted parents and there's no reason that you couldn't keep in touch -all be it at a distance- with the adoptive parents. Then at such a time when they/baby are ready they could get in touch.



I might. I would talk to him first I guess... Maybe if I saw him. That's a good plan though. They would have to be the judges of whether he was involved.


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