# how i met my wife



## colorado (Dec 14, 2009)

sitting here on this cold colorado evening i reminice on how i mt my wife alea, it a started in july i took some friends and crazy ex from pueblo colorado to san fran we hopped an empty coal train from pueblo to denver it was hot and my buddy is oogle core its like baby sittin,in denver we cath the m-nyro (my favorite)it rained from denver to helper utah we then got a bus to ogden got to0o drunk my ex was a bitch get cops called on a domestic i come out of my black out while the cops ask me why i am bloody shit i look like a drity mexican gutter punk the let me go i some how find my steal your face ring needle in a bush aw shit in the dog house we get a west bound double stack mid dpu we wake up to the 1000 mile check point in elko fuck the door opends and the conductor is supperised 4 kids a dog stuffed in a sd 9043 mac me bean a diplomate talk he says its cool just needs to sign the 24 inspection paper i hand it to him and put it away he was superised i knew it was kg1la ended in lahrop im 15 hours later end up in the bay this is where it gets interistin si i didnt know she was dumb as bricks to make a long story short i lived in gg park for years all the skum fuks and sf dogs are my family she was ooglin it yp get put in hep c pond beat by the sf scum fuks and dogs i forgive here and the next day i was drinken with my buddy brad the scum fuk and my homie justine my ole lady passes out and i wake her she hits mei hit her justine beats the piss out of her andbrad hits me even though he hstes her gg politics he is my best friend (i left her)still so i leave on a roseville bound train bulls fuck with me (placer county welocomin commite)end up on a m-rv pd i been in and out ov roseville for years never got caught fate had a plan gote pulled off in lincoln 10 miles out bfe walk was to marys ville next mornin go right and to chico or go str8 decide chico get ride with wierd kid who almost passed out 5 time at the wheel give me klonopin get to chico get high and drunk there was a beautiful gutter girl with a cat on her pack i point her out see her phill myboy while i do believe im gonna fuck the shit out of her just watchi watched her like a hawk to see if she was single she was she had a cute lottle gutter punk skirt and in my klonopin stupor every time i saw her id say nice skirt after the 7or 8th time she said are you callen me a oogle or tryin to fuck me naw aint like that i just like it that nite i i asked her if she knew my homegirl kat she did she almost raised her she told me i could stay at her bridge all night she wathed me sleep with a knife in her hand we ended fuckin the next night then her frind ravie was goin to seattle and i went with them we were road dawgs as soon as we got to euegene we met up with one of there frinds at the gray hound i guess the dea wanted to meet up 2 they seached us after they ran my name they asked me if i had any dose very wierd eded up getting followed by feds for 2 monthsit must be boring wacthing people spanging and fucin in bushsesha we made so much $ with the sign van got raided by dea fbi need $ for beer we gave two girls named juice and who they had a tag alongstalker we stopped and got drunk at a rest syop alea told me to talk to her i saw how you look at her(juice) why dont you fuk her what u want a thee some no u want 2 and we aint together we aint together so what ever she said look i want to be with you ind we said we loved each other at the same time the the stalker hit my buddys dog and got in my girls face we beat the piss out of him in the meaadian 4 miles of cars watched it called the osp on us got pulled over fellony assult 3 charges (later dropped) my ol lady was blac out drunk yallin at the cops her frinds told me it was my job to calm her ended hangin out arrow and bolt in salem bitcin good time in seattle i spanged a russian mobster said fuck in front of him he was pissed i said sorry he said in hiscountry he has killed people for using the f word then a coked out scott talked to us he wanted to give my ole lady a kiss his got him by his hair quicler than you can say potatoe he said i had passion and gave me a kiss next day a scum gangster tried to get us to drink in a park got us a space bsg we said we were stayin on broadway he was pissed we went to camp andravie ran out of her van in long underware a black dude saw us and ducked down on his phone we searched the bushes a range rover with gang sters went down the street a black dude was in the passenger seet i was seen double phill was super drunk so was alea hell frove over when i am the leader they were asleep wen a dude crept up on us can i help you no response i pop up ready 4 war knife and cop mace ready to go o funkget the knife 4 dudes were cirliling us my leadership and god saved us i i find them i will kill themwe ended up back in sf wedecided to settle down 4 a whiletake care of our pending fellonieswent to colorado one night we went to dabar and got drunk she got mad sain im a deatached cold sociopath that cant show love i was pissed i said thats it were goin to cali and im gonna mary you u fuckin bitch she thouht i was jokin we got married sept 28 2 months after we met my uncle fast eddie who is a ordaind minister married us on haight and cole scum fuck corner we had 75 kids on the corner drinken smokin ectat one am the cops snuck up porred the booze out but we just got marriedand they were like we know and that is why u aint gettin a ticket it was so cool that we had over 50 people drinken in public and they respected it it was the wedding of our dreams we had hippies hipsters gutter punx and all of the sf grateful dead family how often do you get all of those people together and no strife id never be the one to get married but it was love at fist sight when i saw her i knew she was mine(or at least sex) on a side note u know that game your team where if u see some stange person u put them on ur frinds team i was put on her team 6 mos befofe i met her i never thoughtid find a love like this as cliche as it sounds all cause a conductor booted me im so in love i am not intrested in other any other lover she is the first girl that i want to make babys with i actually really want her to b the mother of my kids she is smart and kindeven though it ma bee a few years doen the line we got names piked out havoc for a boy and manaia (cle) for a girl i thank ta'kanka tankashla(god) for herfor the first time i dont have chronic anxiety bad anger and give a fuc about prison and death i actually have a reason to live thanks for readin this and may you find love too ...................


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## colorado (Dec 15, 2009)

most people think im dense foe gettin marred after 2 months my and her friends think we be dumb we are very hppy i got no regrets in life word to yo momma my nig


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## Drunken Hearted Man (Dec 15, 2009)

Punctuation is your friend Colorado. I don't think anyone really wants to read one huge run-on sentence.


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## severegout (Dec 15, 2009)

my god --- AND GRAMMAR!!!!! YOUR GRAMMAR IS TERRIBLE! I was so frustrated by the half way mark that I wanted to punch my laptop!!!!


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## bote (Dec 15, 2009)

ditto. I´m a big fan of ¨how we met¨ stories, but that big block´o text is intimidating. Please just break apart the separate sections if you have a minute. Not trying to get on your back, I´d tell anyone the same, and it´s because I do actually want to read the thing.


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## MARRIEDAMEXICAN (Dec 15, 2009)

His spelling and grammar may be bad but I still love him!


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## finn (Dec 18, 2009)

colorado said:


> Sitting here on this cold Colorado evening, I reminisce on how i met my wife Alea, it all started in July. I took some friends and my crazy ex from Pueblo, Colorado to San Fran. We hopped an empty coal train from pueblo to denver. It was hot and my buddy was so oogle core it was like baby sittin.
> 
> In Denver, we caught the m-nyro (my favorite) where it rained from denver to helper utah. We then got a bus to ogden. I got to0o drunk and my ex was a bitch who got cops called on a domestic. I came out of my black out while the cops asked me why I was bloody. Shit, I look like a drity mexican gutter punk- they let me go. I some how found my steal your face ring needle in a bush aw shit in the dog house.
> 
> ...



Okay, spaced it out a bit, I'll come back to this when I'm really bored or something.


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## Smallredbox (Dec 18, 2009)

Finn, you beat me to it


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## bote (Dec 18, 2009)

thanks finn, i read it. good luck and congrats colorado


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## stove (Dec 19, 2009)

oh man I totally skipped down to Finn's version and, stoned as I am, that was still painful to read. Y'all read the original. Damnnnn.

Not to be confused with disliking the story. It's cool to hear about the meeting from both sides.


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## Hobo Mud (Apr 18, 2018)

Interesting story for sure....


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