# My life up until Now



## Mikael Runefoot (Apr 30, 2015)

When I was three months old my dad overdosed on the "Black God". My mother was smoking crack and could not take care of me. DHS came and took me away and I was adopted into a family. I grew up in a pretty strict christian home. Alot of fighting and dysfunctional relationships. Growing up I was always a loner, but I enjoyed it. I struggled with bullying but not as bad as a lot of kids. I grew up listening to flyleaf and christian rock and hadn't really heard anything "worldly." I always knew I was adopted and knew that adiction ran through my family. My mother told me often how I was a terrible child and that when I got older I would become a drug addict. I loved her and I hated her. She didn't know how to deal with me. i was rebellious as all hell. I remember sneaking out my window as a kid to sit on my roof in a thunder storm. I always loved the rain. I had always dreamed of just running away and doing my own thing. when I turned 16 I was thrown into a Christian Boarding School ABM ministries in Piedmont Missouri. I was a die hard christian and was struggling with my sexuality and hated who I was. They say I struggle with depression and anxiety but fuck it. That comes and goes and I love myself too much to kill myself. So when I turned 18 i moved back home. I lasted all of three months and then moved out. Met a kid named Nick and moved into his basement for 8 months. He lived with two other homeless kids like me, serena and colin and we hid in his basement for fear of his parents finding out and kicking us out. We took showers once a week, and mind you i was finishing high school and smelled like shit and didn't even know it. I went from being this gay little christian fucker to this smelly alcoholic in a matter of weeks. I was still finishing my senior year and didn't talk to my parents at all. I got truancy twice that year but got out of it cause i told them i was homeless. I had a shit job, did yard work, worked at random ass restaurants. I started to drink then and smoke weed. I loved it. I always told myself that Id never do anything worse. Never do hard drugs. I started listening to good stuff like Black Sabbath and Electric Wizard.... doom, punk, and black metal. I very slowly moved away from christianity and eventually into Heathenism.... then further yet.... into atheism. I respect all of them though. We eventually got kicked out and I went to live with serena in a house that she squatted in in the city. I started getting tattoos and piercings and thought i was the shit. I loved my life there. I started working overnight shifts at mcdonalds. 100 bucks every two weeks was what i lived on. It was pretty intense but I made it work cause i came from having no money in a basement to having a hole house. we spoke to the landlord and where on good terms with him and got our electricity turned on and started paying rent. we didn't have gas so no hot water. we microwaved our water and shit. I started to do pills, and E. Eventually i moved out and went into the hospital. A friend of mines mother offered to let me live in her apartment with her and I moved in to my friends room while my friend was in college in cali. I started creating my life for myself. I got heavily addicted to Crack/Cocaine. I loved it and will always love it. Although This past year I have been working on staying sober and haven't touched the shit in a little over a year now. I got into harvesting roadkill for bones and doing taxidermy. It keeps my mind off the drugs and has made drugs not a big problem for me anymore. It is not worth my life. I don't really drink much either and when i do it is just a few beers. I started going to school and got a good job. Still don't talk to my parents too much but just met my biological family. My mother has cancer and was given six months to live. She is on her second month. My cousin ryan, my best friend just killed himself. I feel like my life is falling apart. I have been doing a lot of research on primitive living and traveling. After my mother passes I am leaving. I am traveling by foot or hitchhiking out west and camping out in the woods etc. I need my freedom back. My peace of mind. This time without the substance abuse. i am at a much better place mentally. I am prepared for this. I feel like a video game character. Always transforming. From this naive, lil christian kid who didn't know what a bowl of weed was, to this couch surfing poor kid, a punk faggot who was doing drugs into the man i am now. I really enjoyed my life and where I am at now but would really like to leave and travel and meet like minded individuals.


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## Tude (Apr 30, 2015)

I'm glad you are looking up and making good plans! I don't know how old you are but man you've dealt with a lot for a while. Good luck and have fun out there. I would be excited if I were to start out on this trek!


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## squatterchad (Apr 30, 2015)

we have very similar backrounds . Aand i think we would make good road doggs seen your from philly and i can get their via train in a few hours .


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## Kal (Apr 30, 2015)

Good for you for staying sober. Keep doing what your doing and press on and don't look back there is nothing you can do about yesterday and live for today tomorrow may not come. Stay safe and have fun.


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## VikingAdventurer (Apr 30, 2015)

Mikael Runefoot said:


> I grew up listening to flyleaf and christian rock and hadn't really heard anything "worldly."



Dude, same here! Remember DC Talk? Lol. 

I'll still listen to Skillet, though. They've always been one of my favorite bands.

And a massive thumbs-up for your continuing evolution!


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## Mikael Runefoot (Apr 30, 2015)

Toby Mac. Lol. I still like flyleaf thats about it. Hahah @Viking_Adventurer


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## VikingAdventurer (Apr 30, 2015)

Ah, shit! I forgot about tobymac! Ah, the nostalgia... We all grow up so fast, don't we? ... ::dummy:: --> ::angelic:: --> ::headphones:: -->  --> ::bookworm:: --> ::rules:: --> :ompus:: --> :ldman:: --> ::borg:: --> :: --> ::dead::


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## sandpaper cowboy (Apr 30, 2015)

Deleted


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## Durp (Apr 30, 2015)

My dads dying right now too, it sucks. Welcome to the sobriety club, altho you have me beat becuse of a breif relapse about 4 months back. Keep your shit straight and the world will reward you. You will see. Happy travels brother.


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## Tude (May 1, 2015)

Ya know - there are some great people here. Keep going forward @Mikael Runefoot


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## EphemeralStick (May 1, 2015)

Wow. From one queer to another, man do I feel you. I came from a Roman catholic household and that shit was no walk in the park either. Made my fair share of mistakes as well. 
Wish I could give you a hug, traveling will be good for you.


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## Odin (May 1, 2015)

Thanks for sharing @Mikael Runefoot 

I hope you find strength to keep going in a positive direction. 

I can relate to the religious fervor. My family is full of it. 

I on the other hand lean towards agnostic/pantheistic/purely on the fence philosophy.

I often think if my mother could understand the way I think we could relate better. 

For example she loves to walk around her kitchen paying "K-Love" christian radio... and often tells me about her visions.
(Especially this one when she was a little girl in Europe and went to a place of light and colors)

Personally I think she just isn't too careful while gathering wild edible shrooms. 

Well... I don't have a path similar to yours friend. 

So I can't say I can imagine the difficulty you have had to endure. 

Though I am no stranger to different kinds of challenges and I am myself struggling with a consistent drinking habit. :S

I'll just say stay strong and level headed. There is a lot more of the world for you to see.


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## Durp (May 1, 2015)

Fly leaf is a christian band? Damn it, the catholics tricked me again, I thought they were just being cool when they put on a free concert when I was young.


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## Mikael Runefoot (May 1, 2015)

EphemeralStick said:


> Wow. From one queer to another, man do I feel you. I came from a Roman catholic household and that shit was no walk in the park either. Made my fair share of mistakes as well.
> Wish I could give you a hug, traveling will be good for you.


Thanks bro


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