# stuck in the mud



## T Spoon (Feb 19, 2017)

aw jeez i hope i'm putting this in the right board.

anyways, does anyone else feel like they aren't doing enough to change this system? i definitely do and it's getting to be overwhelming. let me try to explain as best as i can even tho i suck with words.

so lately i've been dumpstering and cooking up storms of the food that i've rescued and giving it out to people, but that still doesn't feel like enough. i want to get a food not bombs chapter started here but haven't yet, so it feels like my handing out food doesn't really matter. it's not impactful enough, especially since it's still a one-man show so far since i haven't been able to recruit people yet. plus, in order for me to get food from dumpsters, i'm basically still relying on this system that i was to change.

which brings me to my next point. i want to grow my own food and ultimately use that to feed people. i also want to create a anarchist space but in order to do that i feel like i need to stop traveling and work to earn money to get a place/get started gardening, but then aren't i just giving into the system again?

i hear stories of people squatting and reclaiming buildings and growing community gardens and i haven't gotten there yet and i feel like i can't unless i give into the system. so i don't do anything, which really is the worst choice of all. i'm basically a dog chasing its own tail.

on top of that, i somehow spend too much time with wealthy business owners, which brings up a smorgisborg of emotions. anger at them, and also worthlessness towards myself because i still manage to tell myself that my worth is directly correlated to my productivity.

SO ANYWAYS. that was a lot of ranting and venting. i think basically what i'm doing is asking The Void for validation™ about how i'm feeling, and also maybe some help in what direction(s) i should go?


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## Kim Chee (Feb 19, 2017)

T Spoon said:


> ...plus, in order for me to get food from dumpsters, i'm basically still relying on this system that i was to change.



Nah, you're just using available resources while you are still trying to make a change, right?

Perhaps after you get non profit status you can approach management and ask them if they can leave groceries for you instead of throwing them away.

Unless you're somehow gifted capital, working for a bit to get money to achieve a long-term goal towards food production is a reasonable sacrifice to me. 

During that time you spend with those business owners, solicit support from them. Ask them if they would be interested in being part of what you envision or if they have any advice. The ones who quit talking to you are helping you spend less time with them. Anything else is a gift.


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## Deleted member 125 (Feb 19, 2017)

you gotta not get discouraged. everything starts small. by changing stuff around you it helps fuel change on a larger scale. keep yer head up.


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## AnOldHope (Feb 19, 2017)

I don't see anything wrong with using the misallocated flow of the system to help people that the system harms. 

In technology, often the most effective thing against a system is the exploit of its own maladaptive nature.

One time, I saw this 90 year old fucker in Japan throwing fuckers around twice his size. He had the translator tell me "If you are using more than it takes to move 10 kg in this technique, you are doing incorrectly". 

The imbalance of the system is its greatest vulnerability. -Digital Hammurab


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## freegander (Feb 20, 2017)

T Spoon said:


> so lately i've been dumpstering and cooking up storms of the food that i've rescued and giving it out to people



this is awesome and is no small thing. you are opening up your heart to the hungry and that is vitally important. that's really inspiring. i understand when we talk about anarchy and the system it can all seem SUPER overwhelming. it can feel like we're mopping up water from a leaky faucet that we're helpless to stop. 

but heck, small things spark fires. 

i think of people like Rosa Parks who had the courage to stay seated. that's the laziest thing she could have done. but because of _who she was_, it started something way bigger than she probably imagined. 

what's more important than what we do is who we are. 

and because of who you are, your small actions will speak with a lot more force than you intend. 

[[anyway, this makes sense in my head and it's what i'm telling myself to justify nearly two months of sitting around and focusing on rest and personal development]]


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## Jimmycinno (Feb 20, 2017)

I want to be a part of this! How can I help?


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## tacopirate (Feb 20, 2017)

Good thread! I agree with @cantcureherpes - you have to start somewhere and you are doing something worthwhile. Props to you on that.

I like your ideas, and it is achievable. I ran a food not bombs in Lexington, KY for many years and it really didn't take all that much. Just a little dedication from those involved. I highly recommend you pursue that, though it doesn't have to have the food not bombs label to be productive. Hell, just feeding people is awesome.

As for having a community garden type of thing, that is a rad thing to do. I got really into permaculture in Detroit and we did veggies, fruit, mushrooms, tobacco, chickens, and really got the community involved. There's a cool punk project there called the Trumbelplex that is in the same vein. 

Money was always an issue, but dumpster diving and all that helps. I tried crowdfunding for a bit but didn't have too much luck with it. Maybe someone else has some good info on the subject.

Keep your head up!!


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## T Spoon (Feb 24, 2017)

hey guys, thanks to all for these words of encouragement. it's hard to get a feeling of accomplishment sometimes when it's just be doing it. but small steps can move mountains !



Kim Chee said:


> During that time you spend with those business owners, solicit support from them. Ask them if they would be interested in being part of what you envision or if they have any advice. The ones who quit talking to you are helping you spend less time with them. Anything else is a gift.


this is AMAZING advice and i can't believe i haven't thought of doing this yet. i mean, i've tried getting word out about my art endeavors but nothing like this. this is a great idea.



freegander said:


> i think of people like Rosa Parks who had the courage to stay seated. that's the laziest thing she could have done. but because of _who she was_, it started something way bigger than she probably imagined.
> 
> what's more important than what we do is who we are.
> 
> and because of who you are, your small actions will speak with a lot more force than you intend.


<3 <3 <3 this made me giggle but you are so right.



Jimmycinno said:


> I want to be a part of this! How can I help?


awe man this is the part i struggle with! i'm not very good at organizing things. where are you at? i'm in the phoenix, az area right now and that's where i'm trying to establish something, at least for now.


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## Outdoorsisfree (Feb 25, 2017)

We share similar dreams T Spoon. Keep up the good work. I also can't imagine not being a nomad but that's where my dreams begin to share land with others, maybe be there a month a year at most. Chickens, plants and great energy. We even have some money to start this sort of venture now, but we can't commit to being somewhere that long. I'm totally new here, but I would love to meet more of you and work together towards this.


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## Jimmycinno (Feb 26, 2017)

T Spoon said:


> awe man this is the part i struggle with! i'm not very good at organizing things. where are you at? i'm in the phoenix, az area right now and that's where i'm trying to establish something, at least for now.



I'll be out there around fall! If you're still around, we should connect and toss ideas around.


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## pewpew (Feb 26, 2017)

T Spoon said:


> hey guys, thanks to all for these words of encouragement. it's hard to get a feeling of accomplishment sometimes when it's just be doing it. but small steps can move mountains !
> 
> 
> this is AMAZING advice and i can't believe i haven't thought of doing this yet. i mean, i've tried getting word out about my art endeavors but nothing like this. this is a great idea.
> ...




I'm in NM at the moment till around May, I can at the very least stop by and help eat some of that food


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## xpolx (Feb 26, 2017)

doing something is doing something and it all adds up  i think sometimes its easy to get discouraged cos we dont often see immedite results from the thngs we do, but they do change stuff,andputting food into someones belly is about as potlical as it gets,its easy to throw around big words but feeding people is real


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## T Spoon (Feb 27, 2017)

Outdoorsisfree said:


> We share similar dreams T Spoon. Keep up the good work. I also can't imagine not being a nomad but that's where my dreams begin to share land with others, maybe be there a month a year at most. Chickens, plants and great energy. We even have some money to start this sort of venture now, but we can't commit to being somewhere that long. I'm totally new here, but I would love to meet more of you and work together towards this.


that's my struggle too!! i can't quite seem to figure out a way to live a nomadic life but establish something permanent that align with my views and goals. having a garden & building a community all seem to require staying in one spot and i can't quite commit to that just yet.
recently i've been thinking about going back to rubbertramping. at least that way i can travel how i like to but then i have the opportunity to rescue more food to hand out. idk it creates more opportunity for me to help others. it seems like a good compromise to me. but as with everything there is a give and a take. i'll just have to see when i get the chance again.



Jimmycinno said:


> I'll be out there around fall! If you're still around, we should connect and toss ideas around.


aw man i won't be here by then :c i'll be in colorado then. at least that's the plan, but sometimes things don't go as planned.



pewpew said:


> I'm in NM at the moment till around May, I can at the very least stop by and help eat some of that food


hell yeah dude that'd be dope! i'm trying to host a really really free market sometime soon. come stop by for that if ya want!


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## andyjamal (Mar 4, 2017)

I understand where you're coming from. Realizing how fucked up the system is, you want to avoid doing anything to support it. But it's that same realization that drives you to want to change/destroy/replace the system and not just simply avoid it. However, it's nearly, if not entirely, impossible to effect change within the system while not simultaneously, in some way, supporting it. Do I have this right?

I would reiterate what the previous posters have said and add that the fact that you realize the implications of your actions, are considering the possibilities, and desire to make an impact means you can't go wrong. Even if you don't make the best possible choice, at least your doing something.

"Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world. 
For, indeed, that's all who ever have." 
~Margaret Mead


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