# Sorrow



## Desperado Deluxe (May 5, 2015)

At this point life is really taking a shit in my cereal. I've been in GA stuck on felony probation for about a year now and looking to have it end in july. After completing all the requirements of my probation ( AA, community service, and a small fine) I've managed to get my probationary status changed to unsupervised. Which as I was told by my PO that I can go out of state and do whatever as long as I don't get in trouble. The catch is I have to return to the PO office to have my first defenders paperwork signed at the end of my probationary period in july, which would take a felony off my record. Maybe something can be worked out to where I don't have to return and it can be done via mail. Or have my probo terminated early and squash it all now. But I am unsure and I have a hard time contacting my PO and/or public defender to get this resolved. Also my lack of trust in the legal system here is an obstacle. These variables are preventing me from leaving now.

While living here I have found a part time job and place to live. After living there for awhile getting sick of the bullshit and seeing how my probo is about to end I moved out and am currently living outside. But have managed to keep my job and save a little scratch.

So yea probo almost over get ready to travel for the summer right?

.....WRONG......
Now I have just gotten news that my grandmother has passed away and that they are planning her memorial to take place in california sometime within the next three months. Which totally isn't good in and of itself but I want to make the funeral because I would look like a total asshole to my family if I didn't. 
I don't really want to go back to CA. And I don't really want to start travelling again late july early august or later worrying about it getting cold in a couple months because of having to deal with all this. And my mind is reeling at the options of what to do.
I'm sure I'm probably just freaking out a bit and overlooking things. I just want to take care of my obligations and have a clean slate and get my fucking freedom back.
I don't want to be fucking around for a whole lot longer and know I'm going to have to establish myself within the next couple years but I want to take advantage of what freedom my youth has for me.
I guess there's a lot of variables and uncertainties and just kinda have to roll with the punches.
I'm sure I sound like a jackass wanting to tramp around and fuck off while all this is happening. But I've been stuck in this place that I don't like for so long and just want to go... so yea sorry for my bitching and it doesn't seem like they're a whole lot of advice that can be given and I just kinda have to roll with the punches.


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## Mankini (May 5, 2015)

Take things one step at a time. Don't aggravate over the future; deal with the immediate present. Create a checklist.


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## Art101 (May 5, 2015)

Im in the same kinda pickle myself.Im on fed misdemeanor probation I have 1yr and 9 months left.When I transfered out to Jersey I thought it might be easier but noooo....I have to have permission to leave state,which means any where cool.I am thinking of broaching the subject of just having them end the probation.I totally feel you though.It sucks I got 5 yrs and it has forced me to focus on myself and life choices,so I guess there is a silver liner to everything.Hang in there.


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## Desperado Deluxe (May 5, 2015)

voodoochile76 said:


> Take things one step at a time. Don't aggravate over the future; deal with the immediate present. Create a checklist.


I know if I get aggravated it leads me to doing something I will probably regret. I guess I'm worrying a lot about what I'm going to do when the situation hasn't fully presented itself.


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## Desperado Deluxe (May 5, 2015)

Ghostbo said:


> Im in the same kinda pickle myself.Im on fed misdemeanor probation I have 1yr and 9 months left.When I transfered out to Jersey I thought it might be easier but noooo....I have to have permission to leave state,which means any where cool.I am thinking of broaching the subject of just having them end the probation.I totally feel you though.It sucks I got 5 yrs and it has forced me to focus on myself and life choices,so I guess there is a silver liner to everything.Hang in there.



I guess I should consider myself lucky that I only have a year to deal with. It may be possible for you have your probation terminated early if all your requirements are met. I'm kinda hoping mine is because of the situation with my family. Its been somewhat of a blessing in disguise because it made me get sober and put a lot more focus into my life. Being sober is also one of the reasons I want to travel more too.


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## Art101 (May 6, 2015)

Exactly my feelings.I wont go into the whole story here but sobriety is the best thing that ever happened.The whole process forced me to pick at some nasty scabs and clean them out,allowing me to understand more some of my drives and desires.I stress daily that I might do something rather innocent and violate and ruin any chance of getting off early.You got this Fox,keep the faith,and remember where you where a year ago.It helps me when I am down and struggling.


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