# i am having a hard time standing up, & not puking...



## creature (Sep 1, 2018)

i have had two bottles of sake' & the snot is accumulating on the back of the roof of my mouth..

plus i have to piss..

WTF was i thinking about..?

right.. right... standing up & not puking...

hold on..

i may have to puke, bending over...

maybe i'll grab a smoke & add a little cancer to it, too..

there was something else, too..

burn, motherfuckingmenthol...

burn..

hack & spit..

general banter..

the sacrificial waste of electrons...

i love you.

what in the name of all unholy, blessed drivel

will help me do what i know i can do..?

what i know *we* can do..?

christ...

are we really.. *really*, truly, honestly condemned to being no more than being scam artists, as our actual ability to effect change. without taking up physical artms?

is that all our love can actually *do*??

ho;y fuck..

excuse me..

i puke sake' & menthol & panda express & despair.. 

Matt.. o, oh Glorious Leader....

i light another..

i will puke some more..

drivel drooling down to meet my tears...

rules & guidelines & what we pain for & die upon..

playing soldier, until the bullets hit us...

i need to open bottle #3..

& puke a little more...

light the bitch up..

i hate friendship..

so much pretending..

you don't change the world, until you die for it..

& the cowards quash those whom tell them that that is how it is..

cowards, demanding change,
from where they believe safety is...

craaacckk.. the bottle goes open...


Drivel, working 12 hours per day...

Vikings, frying in sunlight...

Rules...

we must have..

Have

Rules..

at the Jambo, all Shit must be put Aside..

Innocence is what we will Grace each other with..

if i make it, i can place all hate & disappointment aside..

that is *my* rule..

i will feed your asses & love your asses, but is it sad, if that is all we can do?

can we actually, actually be *honest* to each other, beyond the point of what makes a party enjoyable for the scope of a few days?

can we actually ever learn to trust each other with our lives?

or will we warn each other, because that is what we tried to do, most deeply?

i have shit to do.. ?

mmm... bottle #3 begins nicely...

mom is 90, this year..

my promise is to be home for thanksgiving..

God, how i would love for all of you to be my family..

hence the offers of buses & land, for the past 8 years..

i go home for thanksgiving...

11/22, if i get it right..

anyways..

life is what life is...


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## Tude (Sep 1, 2018)

John - what's up? <3


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## Deleted member 20240 (Sep 2, 2018)

Hope the sake didn't make your morning too shitty. I usually give up around glass #3. I hate drink sick. Hope you enjoy Jambo and thanksgiving with Mom


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