# The Power of Fear



## AlwaysLost (Jun 30, 2017)

We were on another thread. And some people were being exceptional cruel to this person because they were paralyzed by fear. Some advocated giving up on this person because they wouldn't help them self. That they should just be allowed to die.

But look how terrified I was until you all answered all my stupid noob questions and cried about how unfair my life was. You all said sorry man, you are going to be OK...even though at one point, I planned on hanging myself from the sweetgum tree in the backyard.

And you know what, I eventually got through it. And I've been fortunate to have been able to babystep my way into this life. Overnighters and weekend trips. Failed but fun adventures. Soon, I will be going full time.And I know that somehow I will be OK.

Now Imagine being a normie with an apple pie life and never being homeless before with no idea what its like, how hard it is. Maybe you had a traumatic life event that led you to homelessness. So now your afraid and in pain.

And instead of having a year to harden yourself you have two weeks or maybe 2 days to prepare youtself for trial by fire. It's scary as hell.

Being physically tough doesn't do much without the mental toughness either. I am 6'2" 200 lbs and a trained fighter. I'm also 40 years old

A few months ago I took down two fratboys who were not only bigger than me but looked like they played for the rugby team. I made a necklace out of one of their teeth Now, I'm not bragging, I know the days of me winning fights are just about over and that terrifies me as well.

But what terrifies me even more is Prison. For me that would be worse than death. That's what I fear the most when I'm out there sleeping in the darkness. Its not the snakes, the lions or the bears...Its not even death. 

Its the methaddled crackhead stumbling into my camp to try to buttrape me in the night that I fear. Miraculously, maybe if Im lucky, I win this hypothetical fight. But my purse for winning is 20 years to life in a concrete box surrounded by 1000s of methaddled crack heads just waiting for me to drop the soap.

Its for this reason, I always try to avoid the fight. I apologize even when I don't mean it. I make it a point to be nice to everyone. I share resources with leeches who dont appreciate it. Because sometimes winning is losing. And most of the homebums have seen that I can go. But the feral kids don't fear anything. They travel and hunt in packs.

It sounds so silly I know. But it keeps me up at night. Even when I'm like totally stealth surrounded by improvised weaponry, I can't sleep because of the boogeyman with night vision goggles sneaking towards me in the woods.

My point is it doesn't matter how big or how physically tough you are. Fear can cripple you.

Some of us (not me) are just born tough. Others need to develop it over time. And even if they are too scared at the moment to accept help, they still came to this site for a reason and I don't think we should give up on them even if they fit a certain stereotype of helplessness. That's just callous and crass. Its a synical sign that you have lost one of the better parts of your humanity.

You all have become like family almost. No one else in this world has ever accepted me until you all.
And I refuse to believe that anyone is beyond hope or help.

Sometimes the noobies just need a little compassion and some time to toughen up and figure it out. If its a year from now and they are still crying then maybe they are beyond hope. But not just a couple of days or weeks.

It costs us what 30 seconds of our life to say something positive and supportive. I waste more time that on Instagram.

Its late and I'm not sure any of this made any coherent sense lol but I hope it did.


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## VikingAdventurer (Jun 30, 2017)

Which thread was that? The one you mentioned where people were being cruel to a noob?


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## AlwaysLost (Jun 30, 2017)

VikingAdventurer said:


> Which thread was that? The one you mentioned where people were being cruel to a noob?



Scared, it got closed cause I made a stupid moronic comment and someone wouldn't accept my apology. My brain sometimes idk what is wrong with me.


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## VikingAdventurer (Jun 30, 2017)

Ah.
I figured that might have been the one, so I went and read it just now.

I sincerely hope that user will get back on here soon, and I hope she's alright.


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## AlwaysLost (Jun 30, 2017)

VikingAdventurer said:


> Ah.
> I figured that might have been the one, so I went and read it just now.
> 
> I sincerely hope that user will get back on here soon, and I hope she's alright.



Me too. I'm hoping she found a safe place.


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## AlwaysLost (Jun 30, 2017)

NutSac said:


> Hopefully that woman's evolution will progress something like this:
> 
> 1. "This sucks"
> 
> ...



I'm going to have to take the high road and say no comment on that one. Its was hard though.


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## landpirate (Jun 30, 2017)

As a moderator I'm sorry if we've missed a thread that should have been looked into. I'm not sure which thread it is specifically you're referring to so if you'd like me to have a look I gladly will, just link me the thread.

I think it's really sad when people make the lives of fellow STP'ers even harder. To a lesser or greater degree we're all aiming to live happy safe lives in an alternative way. Sometimes this life is chosen and sometimes it's trust upon us. I know that I get enough shit from "normals" in my day to day life without it being dished out by people on here who I consider to be in the same boat. Just be kind to each other and if you have nothing nice or helpful to say then move along and read another thread.


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## AlwaysLost (Jun 30, 2017)

landpirate said:


> As a moderator I'm sorry if we've missed a thread that should have been looked into. I'm not sure which thread it is specifically you're referring to so if you'd like me to have a look I gladly will, just link me the thread.
> 
> I think it's really sad when people make the lives of fellow STP'ers even harder. To a lesser or greater degree we're all aiming to live happy safe lives in an alternative way. Sometimes this life is chosen and sometimes it's trust upon us. I know that I get enough shit from "normals" in my day to day life without it being dished out by people on here who I consider to be in the same boat. Just be kind to each other and if you have nothing nice or helpful to say then move along and read another thread.



No that's OK I'm not looking to get anyone in trouble or perpetuate beef. I just wanted to inspire a little more compassion and understanding.


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## Lenevethehobo (Jul 1, 2017)

People being horrible to each other was one of the main reasons I hit the road in the first place. There's so much hatred in the world that it makes me feel out of place. So much so that I feel more alone in a room full of people than I do when I'm actually alone. 

It's up to you how you wanna live I'm not here to preach and I'm anything but a hippy XD but wouldn't the world be a better place if we all just got along? Be nice to somebody, when you feel alone there's nothing nicer than seeing somebody smile at you and knowing that they actually mean it.


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## Coywolf (Jul 1, 2017)

This is a great post @AlmostAlwaysLost. It pains me to see some of the eliteism on this forum sometimes...

I read that woman's post. It was well founded. I believe that people on here can really make a difference in people's lives just by sharing things we have already found out (either the hard way or not). As you said, it just takes a few minutes out of our day.

Some have mastered the art of traveling, houselessness, and vagabonding. Some (lIke me) came to this site looking to begin or hone our new lifestyle. And some were put into their situation by no control of their own, or by unfortunate circumstances.

I have seen the latter more times than I care to remember on the road. It breaks my heart, good people who have been thrown into the gutter by a shitty society who gives no fucks about anyone but themselves.

These are the folks who will benefit the most from kindness, and may end up saving your ass someday.


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## 0degrees (Jul 2, 2017)

VikingAdventurer said:


> Ah.
> I figured that might have been the one, so I went and read it just now.
> 
> I sincerely hope that user will get back on here soon, and I hope she's alright.


Thank you for your kindness...I'm not sure but I think I have a couple weeks left till I have to get out...I'm just trying to pack and stay sane....I got food today so aim ecstatic! ...A man gave me two huge artichokes! ...I got some other things as well....Very HAPPY! ...THANK EVERYONE FOR ALL THE LOVE AND KINDNESS!


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