# How do you relate, "a rant about making it out"



## GhostWithTheMost (Oct 13, 2019)

So, I lived on the street pretty consistently for nearly 15 years from 1996-2011 finally making housing up (At least for now) pretty indefinitely since 2014, finally got my first apartment in 2016. But since ive been off the road Ive come to realize that its nearly impossible to meet new friends/people, making it a lonely road...and one of the biggest things Ive come to realize is how hard it is to relate to people who have never traveled, or been outside like myself, and a lot of you kids have. Like, you try to strike up a conversation with people and they generally get awkward, or just clueless because all i know how to "reminisce" about is traveling and the streets. You got all these people living there lives the way they were "supposed" to, kids, a job, getting married ETC so they relate to that...and this slightly closeted mentality that when they get serious reality, like what it was like living outside, and having to wrap their minds around the fact that not everyone out side are scum bags and shitty people, they get discomforted having to realize there are genuinely decent kids out there. Like you cant really discuss either side, because neither of you have experience in the others way of life..

So Im kinda curious what any of you other kids have done to work around this, or have you experienced the same or similar issues? I mean just not being able to REALLY have a functional conversation with people other than fellow travelers and street kids? Id be curious to hear your thoughts and experiences with this guys..if anyones up for some general banter that is?


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## Eng JR Lupo RV323 (Oct 13, 2019)

CelticHeathen said:


> you cant really discuss either side, because neither of you have experience in the others way of life..



I guess it's a case by case sort of thing. I know for a fact there are people here who have lived both of those lives, I'm one of them. I grew up in a meth house and I hated it there. I packed a bag and hit the streets at the age of 15. I lived in squats, slept in parks, in friends closets, couches, etc. Had a huge community of friends that eventually started to "grow up" or not, some just shot H in their veins and died or eventually got their shit together too. I fell in love with a girl when I was 23 and we had two kids, only ten months apart in age.

I got busy working, mostly warehouse/forklift/parts delivery type shit. Then I hired on for the railroad and it felt like I really had life figured out. I was making insane money and I was good at my job. I had promoted numerous times and I felt like everything was just fantastic. That lasted a little while but then I started to realize I had no time to even enjoy life. All I was doing was working and sleeping. 85-90 hours a week was common, I was a whore for the money. I felt like a slave. 

One day I bring my train to a stop in Roseville and I see 6 hobos under a tree in a field. After getting off the train I go introduce myself, we become fast friends. We speak the same language, trains. We raged that field all night, I called in sick and rode a boxcar with them. That shit changed my life. I tasted freedom and I just couldn't go back to the life I was living. Everything had already began to fall apart anyway, wife and I were separated and I was working over 200 miles away from my family. 

So I just sort of embraced the freedom and kept riding trains. I stopped answering my calls to go to work. I traveled a lot and made amazing friends. Now I'm kind of back in a more "normal" way of life. Housed up at least.. but I still ride trains and hitchhike here and there. For me, it doesn't feel weird at all talking to people who don't understand a different way of life. I guess I used to be them sort of. I don't enjoy it as much though, those conversations. I feel like I connect better with travel folk but I can relate to most walks of life. I just don't understand why anyone would want to live like that. I didn't feel alive until I threw it all away.


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## GhostWithTheMost (Oct 13, 2019)

Engineer J Lupo said:


> I guess it's a case by case sort of thing. I know for a fact there are people here who have lived both of those lives, I'm one of them. I grew up in a meth house and I hated it there. I packed a bag and hit the streets at the age of 15. I lived in squats, slept in parks, in friends closets, couches, etc. Had a huge community of friends that eventually started to "grow up" or not, some just shot H in their veins and died or eventually got their shit together too. I fell in love with a girl when I was 23 and we had two kids, only ten months apart in age.
> 
> I got busy working, mostly warehouse/forklift/parts delivery type shit. Then I hired on for the railroad and it felt like I really had life figured out. I was making insane money and I was good at my job. I had promoted numerous times and I felt like everything was just fantastic. That lasted a little while but then I started to realize I had no time to even enjoy life. All I was doing was working and sleeping. 85-90 hours a week was common, I was a whore for the money. I felt like a slave.
> 
> ...




Yeah, I wouldnt say its weird talking to other people, just awkward I suppose. Thanks for the share/feed back though.


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## WyldLyfe (Oct 13, 2019)

Hmm.. Thanks OP for sharing, iv found it really easy to met new people, but went about three years before this just wondering around on my own. The more you do stuff as in events, courses whatever.. the more people you met, and for every person you meet you can potentially met another five to ten or more people, it's like a branch out of connections. Iv talk to people who can't understand things like someone living outta there car or why anyone would do that, or they think stuff is dangerous af when they never even done it themselves ands it's not, so get what ya saying, you can talk to certain people about some things and they wouldn't approve ect.. I also try not to see a difference between street or travelling people and "normal people" there is, but they are just all people doing stuff, this way it's easier to manoeuvre through and spend time with different groups of people. I'm also not one who doesn't know how to blend in and play different roles and games at times, you don't always have to be the street person, and it's not being fake or a sell out if you think that like some do/have, it's more like adapting to different scenarios ect.. If you feel your to much for some people you could also do half half, and share things at certain times if the timing is right ect.. If ya know what I mean. 

Just a quick reply.


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## roguetrader (Oct 14, 2019)

I think it's partly a function of where you live - for example the area of England I'm currently living in has a history of alternative types settling here - many of them are nothing like me (traveller punk) but they've still on the whole rejected the mainstream and are open minded - thus an interesting conversation might be possible.... I can contrast this with where I come from in the North of England - everyone up there seem to be materialistic, upwardly mobile, money obsessed shallow muthafuckers - most cannot comprehend why I would possibly want to live in a trailer, drive a beat up old car etc etc - common ground is hard to find as the guys just talk about work or football (soccer) or their sad right wing political views.... many parts of the UK are like this - nothing but worker drones for miles and miles - makes me wish we had access to assault rifles like you guys in the States !


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## MFB (Oct 14, 2019)

Agree w every post so far. 

Maybe a change in mindset. Back up and be a human rather than a traveller. 

People like to put themselves in boxes whether is politics, sexuality, religion, lifestyle. This disconnects us rather than connects us. 

I believe I can learn something from pretty much anyone, and generally like hanging w people that are different from me so long as they are open minded.


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## Matt Derrick (Oct 14, 2019)

yeah i often find it difficult to identify with the 'average' person, and i don't know if it's related to this thread, but i just walk around with a lot of hate for the 'blind masses' and capitalism in general, etc. Makes it hard to get along with 'normies' when you're constantly thinking in the back of your head "wtf is wrong with all of you".


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## Deleted member 24782 (Oct 14, 2019)

Much much larger conversation possible here, but damn, I think about this all the time. Took awhile to find my groove...

I'm not going to tell you that you have to "grow up", because I don't know you, and I hate when people tell me that, but I will say that you have to GROW as a person. If the only way you know how to engage with the world is through street life/punk/travel culture stuff you are really missing out on a lot of other things. In 2008 I had a very similar dilemma, I called it an identity crisis. So I decided to go to diesel mechanic school so I could learn to excel at a skill trade/craft. This skill has created so many common bonds with the working class, then paradoxically I find a lot of these working people come from very similar back grounds (white trash American punk). I've also watched a handful of other friends get into the trades, then bam, life comes full circle, everything has meaning now, it reminds me I'm on the right path. It's DIY ethics at an exponential level. Of course, there are other dimensions to my personality but whatever...

Not mention, theres was a study done that showed the majority of traveling street youth (punks, not homeless kids) do not want to remain on the street forever, they recognize the instability there and want to "settle down"- have a partner, get land, grow food, or whatever! It's essentially human nature and totally awesome. Unfortunately, a lot of the freedom we search for and find on the streets at a young age becomes a crutch later on. When you can only navigate that one type of social scene and economy, chances are you will get stuck, and lost in a drugged/alcoholic punk rock haze that can be lethal.


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## Stiv Rhodes (Oct 15, 2019)

I relate to most of this. It's hard to form new friendship bonds when you're culturally different from the folks you're surrounded by. I've definitely felt at times like I couldn't share too much of myself at work or else I'd be seen as just a looser drug addict. I've also received misplaced sympathy for experiences that were actually incredibly rewarding adventures. I've also met folks who share similar values even though the path that brought them where they are was way different than mine. I often tone it down until I get to know people better. I think people are more interested in each other's uniqueness if there's some similarity they relate to. And there's also a lot of people who don't seem to care about anything but their next purchase, who I'll never find interesting, and probably never convince of anything.


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## MetalBryan (Oct 15, 2019)

I think it's easy to get caught up in the duality of us v. them, but one thing I know for sure is that people who work 40-60 hours a week usually have a fucked up sense of what their time is worth.


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## GhostWithTheMost (Jan 26, 2020)

Stiv Rhodes said:


> I relate to most of this. It's hard to form new friendship bonds when you're culturally different from the folks you're surrounded by. I've definitely felt at times like I couldn't share too much of myself at work or else I'd be seen as just a looser drug addict. I've also received misplaced sympathy for experiences that were actually incredibly rewarding adventures. I've also met folks who share similar values even though the path that brought them where they are was way different than mine. I often tone it down until I get to know people better. I think people are more interested in each other's uniqueness if there's some similarity they relate to. And there's also a lot of people who don't seem to care about anything but their next purchase, who I'll never find interesting, and probably never convince of anything.




"I've also received misplaced sympathy for experiences that were actually incredibly rewarding adventures." <--- This I totally get as well, when I try to share my experiences and what not I often get ht e"Oh Im so sorry you had to go through that" speeches, or what not, when Its not necessary, or what I was aiming for. Honestly, the majority of my travels and time outside were pretty good, aside from the standard struggles so to speak, like food, a place to crash and the like. But id said 90% of my days outside were good. It does get old, though im not unappreciative of peoples sentiments when they are being genuine about it. Its just weird for me I suppose.


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## GhostWithTheMost (Jan 26, 2020)

MetalBryan said:


> I think it's easy to get caught up in the duality of us v. them, but one thing I know for sure is that people who work 40-60 hours a week usually have a fucked up sense of what their time is worth.




I dont think I have the "us vs them mentality", I mean to a degree maybe when I get pissed for no reason, but ive always generally been a person by person kind guy. Like I dont really give a shit who you are or your social status, I just care about your character, how you interact and so forth. Ive been in a small town since 2014, Here in Southern Ohio, so the ability to meet people is slim, and I stick out like a highlighter on black paper here lol


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