# First time home since traveling, can't relate to friends/family anymore



## Persistence

Just wondering if anyone else has had this issue. I've been traveling for about a year (just a regular homebum for a year before that), and this is my first time back in my hometown area since those two years started. Now that I'm here I've found I've missed out on a plethora of movie, TV shows, video games and current events. Not that I care about that stuff too much but it's just very disconcerting. More so than that it's just...all my stories now, my experiences, my concerns, are about traveling. Hopouts, trains, hitching, whereabouts of old road dogs, kids I've met, cities I've tramped in.

My family is understanding and nice but I can tell they're kind of confused and disinterested in the whole thing. My old friends on the other hand have reactions running the gamut from why-are-you-voluntarily-being-a-filthy-bum to that's-cool-I-guess. It's frustrating too because I really haven't made enough close friends on the road to be talking to anyone on Facebook very regularly, or they just don't have Internet access frequently enough.

I dunno, guess I just wanted to vent. Honestly this forum has been a godsend while I wait til Nov. 18th to leave. Reading old traveling stories, talking to you guys, gives me some semblance of being on the road and a part of the community. I thought I would enjoy a month of guaranteed food, a bed, TV, video games, but honestly I was tired of it a week after getting here and really miss just sleeping outdoors, being a crazy hobo and running into random kids and homebums.

Much love to you dudes.


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## Maxxwest

Haha, that's the way it goes. I've found that most people are content to keep there attachments to society. When you throw all your attachments aside and hit the road and spend everyday pushing on toward the unknown you become part of a different order. Rest assured most people can't do what we do.


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## Art101

I ran into the same thing.After being home bound for the last almost 4 yrs I still feel that way.Most people just don't get it and never will.My gf thinks I'm nuts; I spend at least an hour a day planning my next catch out.It keeps me sane.I think Max hit it on the head.We have transcended normalcy and reached a higher plane of living.


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## Maxxwest

Art101 said:


> I ran into the same thing.After being home bound for the last almost 4 yrs I still feel that way.Most people just don't get it and never will.My gf thinks I'm nuts; I spend at least an hour a day planning my next catch out.It keeps me sane.I think Max hit it on the head.We have transcended normalcy and reached a higher plane of living.


Right on! Jesus was a nomad anarchist.


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## psychofoamer

Yeah that happens, I lost tons of friends when I started traveling, but gained a ton more. I figure if my "friends" can't except me for what I've become, then they probably aren't really my friends. True friends will stick to ya no matter what


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## Matt Derrick

yeah, i definitely suffered some disconnect when returning to the 'real world'. my parents have never understood my lifestyle and i've been doing it for 15 years now! best thing you can do is what you're doing right now, which is reaching out to folks that do understand and that you can have some kind of similar understanding with. just know that the next journey is always right around the corner!


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## Rufio

It's a bit of a strange feeling going home after traveling. It's like the journey has changed you so much but everything back home is still the same, everyone just has babies now haha


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## LostHobo

I think it is because they have no way to relate to our way of experiencing the world that they are disinterested. in the same way that I find no more interest in the spectacle culture (movies, tv, exibition, sports,) since their themes since to revolve around work, family life and living in the same neighborehood for 3 generations... It makes it hard to relate to "regular" folks in those circumstances. I now find it so hollow compared to real life and real situations!



psychofoamer said:


> Yeah that happens, I lost tons of friends when I started traveling, but gained a ton more. I figure if my "friends" can't except me for what I've become, then they probably aren't really my friends. True friends will stick to ya no matter what



True that! It weeded out people that did not really care about me and shone a bright light on the ones who did  like it better like that


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## Anagor

Persistence said:


> Just wondering if anyone else has had this issue. I've been traveling for about a year (just a regular homebum for a year before that), and this is my first time back in my hometown area since those two years started.



I can very much relate. I was only away for two months (plus two months in total this year), but it feels kinda weird to be at home again. More than the times before as I came home. Perhaps cause I had many experiences, met so many people, doing stuff I never did before. So being at home is kinda boring. I really feel like an animal in a zoo cage. Can't wait to hit the road again, soon.

And of course I also made the experience that most of my friends here at home can't really understand why I did/do what I did/want to do. I guess most of them think I'm a bit crazy.



Matt Derrick said:


> my parents have never understood my lifestyle



Fortunately my parents understand that I wanna change my lifestyle and they support me. 



LostHobo said:


> I think it is because they have no way to relate to our way of experiencing the world that they are disinterested. in the same way that I find no more interest in the spectacle culture (movies, tv, exibition, sports,) since their themes since to revolve around work, family life and living in the same neighborehood for 3 generations... It makes it hard to relate to "regular" folks in those circumstances. I now find it so hollow compared to real life and real situations!



Yes, exactly!


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## LostHobo

Matt Derrick said:


> my parents have never understood my lifestyle


I feel that, lots of: "you need to grow up and start thinking about the futur" and "when are you going to get a real job and a real house" ... It's no where as bad, but it makes me really empathic toward trans and homosexuals! The shit they must have to listen to if by just being a traveller i get my share of it...


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## Anagor

LostHobo said:


> "you need to grow up and start thinking about the futur" and "when are you going to get a real job and a real house"



I can understand that parents think that way. Especially if the "children" are in their 20s ... when they are about to "build a career" or "build a family" or whatever ... before it's too late. My vita is a bit extraordinary, I helped my parents in difficult times, resulting in me not having a career or university graduation. (At least for a great part it's because of this.) So in a manner of speaking I have nothing to loose.  I'll never have my PhD I thought I would have with 30, I will never work for Apple or Google. So fuck it!


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## LostHobo

Anagor said:


> I can understand that parents think that way. Especially if the "children" are in their 20s ... when they are about to "build a career" or "build a family" or whatever ... before it's too late. My vita is a bit extraordinary, I helped my parents in difficult times, resulting in me not having a career or university graduation. (At least for a great part it's because of this.) So in a manner of speaking I have nothing to loose.  I'll never have my PhD I thought I would have with 30, I will never work for Apple or Google. So fuck it!




That's pretty epic of yours! I never had any interrest in university anyway, but yeah, the fact that I'm 27 plays in this, but the fact that they both grew up in some what dire poverty makes it extra hard for them to understand my life choice!


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## Anagor

LostHobo said:


> I never had any interrest in university anyway



Don't blame yourself. It's highly overrated anyway. 



LostHobo said:


> but the fact that they both grew up in some what dire poverty makes it extra hard for them to understand my life choice!



Yes. I read that a lot (reading blog posts and comments, not here *). That people who are homeless cause they lost their homes, poor but not deliberately, struggling in life and living on the streets but wanting a home desperately can't understand why people like you or me just say "fuck it" and hit the road and travel and sleep rough and all that stuff. Perhaps we are all crazy anyway, so just don't think about it. 

Edit: * and experienced it in real life


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## Deleted member 13433

Ain't nothing better than being free in the great outdoors


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## Anagor

OTTERWOLF said:


> Ain't nothing better than being free in the great outdoors


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## Coywolf

Ya, definitely feeling the vibe on this post. After I decided I wanted to work seasonally and travel in the off-season, I have had very little contact with my family and friends. Alot of them dont understand, but some do. I find that you have to do you what you need to do to be happy. No freakin' regrets man, thats what I try to live my life by.

I almost suffered a total emotional breakdown while busking in Eugene, not long after my profile picture was taken, actually, because of these same feelings. Loneliness, the lack of loved ones, or shit, lack of anyone at all. Being broke, doing shit you would have never thought about to make money, and being constantly cold and wet. It was at that time I knew I had to quit being a homebum in Eugene and get back on the road, because it was what made me happy. Summer came soon enough and I went back to work and started over again emotionally, saw my mom and friends and did it all over again. The world is a weird place, grab it by the balls and hold on for the ride! 

Stay sane man, great post. We are all here for ya.


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## RovingGale

Yuuuup, I hear this. I'm back home for a bit over a month to help out with some family shit and it's been kind of weird - I've been living in my truck, on nobody else's schedule (except for a week of work that wasn't even work, really, since knocking on random doors and seeing new neighborhoods every day is is just targeted exploration and meeting new people, not work ), and generally existing on very little and now I'm back at my family's place and it's just been so awkward. My normal daily concerns are shifted on their heads and it's downright weird to not be counting pennies to see if I can get a hot meal or if I'm eating canned tuna again...I'm so off balance right now and my feet are itching to get moving even more than they were when I first left a few months ago...it's nice to be able to shower every day, but it's still /so weird/.


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## landpirate

moved to off the road


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## RayvnHearsMusic

I've never had the opportunity to become a "real" traveler, and definitely if you "stay home" it does not have to be "the same". Stop hanging out with normies and/or druggies! Don't you know there are bikers and hippies and non-feminist anarchists and homestraders and general non-normie people who live in one state and don't care about some social wedding ceremony of acquaintances! Going "home" to some state should be much easier then you're saying, just stop hanging out with people who play Monopoly! Go to the right places, either IRL or online. I don't even go to those places and I know almost no one who cares much about non-geek TV, because I don't talk to those kind of people!


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## pallaway

I'm really feelin this post. Ever since I hit the road, there's a different feeling to life and sometimes it's awkward around my normal peoples and family. I tried to stay put twice and it didn't work. I knew I made a mistake when I took off and now I know that I'm meant to live this kind of life. I get to use my smarts everyday and realize how good I am at being human. I just feel alive even when things are shitty. That's part of it too. I like the struggle and thrive best in it.
But right now I'm in California visiting my other family I haven't seen in two years and I wanted to stay for Christmas since I'm here and it's December, but I'm just so out of my zone that I can't do it. I'm leaving on Wednesday. I show them my videos and tell them stories and they seem interested at first but they never wanna hear me all the way out and what I have to say about how I live. They keep using words like job, money, president, Xbox, superbatural and shit like that. My dad watches fox news everyday and the sound of a TVon all the time doesn't sound nice in my eyes. I do binge watch stuff when I'm off the road to pass time and I like shows and shit. But he tries talking to me about this government stuff and can't except my answer when I tell him I'm not on anyone's side. They're all the government. I chose not to be a part of society for a reason. And all that. He understands and supports me. Even sends me money every so often to treat myself good sometimes. He knows how I rough it out and it's something that makes him proud. But he got old and shit. Hell still drink and smoke with me and talk. I'm at my older sisters house now on the other side of town and shes like maybe my biggest fan. To her, everything I do seems impossible and she loves the shit outta me. She has two kids, expensive rent, and an emotional boyfriend. She really needs a vacation. I want her to really go to Tennessee and meet some of my friends and family. But she's only lived in Hawaii and California for the most part and people from there think Memphis is just hood black people and rednecks. Definitely not an overachiever. I witnessed her sleep for three days straight when we we younger for no reason at all only waking up to eat, piss, and smoke lol.


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## pallaway

Fuck it but out like half my post. I don't know how good this is at stayyin on topic or if I even said what I meant to say. 
I feel like they can feel the restlessness on you it's a different vibe on both sides. There's something off and sometimes I think it's me but I know what it is. I feel like a different species. Even have different stuff in my pockets and different patterns. The normal world is throwing me off the loop and it gets more unrelatable everyday


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## Grubblin

Living like this let's me be more of an observer of the world than to be a part of it. You kind of float in a strange reality at the edges of society. This is made 'worse' by the random normal people you see everyday. Most of them don't want to see you and will do anything not to acknowledge that you exist. For example, when your flying a sign at a grocery store curb and the driver almost has a car accident bc they refuse to look at you or even in your direction. That happened twice today. If they look, they might have to acknowledge you, if they acknowledge you they might have to question themselves.

The things they see as problems, the things I used to see as problems, I could care less about. By the same token, the things I see as problems, they completely take for granted. I'm not worried about getting a whopping three percent raise at work, I'm worried about getting enough day labor to feed my ass and get me out of town.

I once thought that as soon as I got tired of traveling that I could just quit and live a normal life. I look back at that now and I can't believe what a complete dumbass I was. Even if I could stand to be in one place and have a house I wouldn't be 'normal' bc I just can't see myself ever caring about the bullshit that normals care about ever again. The things that I've learned, the things I've done on the road have fundamentally changed me forever. Terms like good and bad are relative so I won't judge the changes, it's probably enough just to admit to the change.

I suppose this doesn't deal with old friends and family but I think it may help to explain the disconnect some may be feeling.


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## Art101

I'm fighting just leaving and catching out almost every day.Between work,attempting to deal with "normal" people and maintain a relationship is really starting to break me down.When I was travelling full time there was a simplicity to it.My gf doesn't really understand the mentality.I can't really explain it bit yeah the road does something to you for sure.


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## shante

Thanks for sharing all, this post is super relatable. I love that van life but I've been stationary for about 2 years, helping family, focusing on career, slowly losing my mind. Traveling just transforms one's perspective in a way those that don't travel can't relate to, and the disconnect gets way too intense sometimes. Telling my cautious, tidy boyfriend road stories usually ends up with him looking shocked, saying something like "I can't imagine."

It's a difficult balance to strike though, because travelling can take it out of you in a different way. I wish there were a good place to nest and chill without buying back into the bullshit.


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## Homelessbychoice

Grubblin said:


> Living like this let's me be more of an observer of the world than to be a part of it. You kind of float in a strange reality at the edges of society. This is made 'worse' by the random normal people you see everyday. Most of them don't want to see you and will do anything not to acknowledge that you exist. For example, when your flying a sign at a grocery store curb and the driver almost has a car accident bc they refuse to look at you or even in your direction. That happened twice today. If they look, they might have to acknowledge you, if they acknowledge you they might have to question themselves.
> 
> The things they see as problems, the things I used to see as problems, I could care less about. By the same token, the things I see as problems, they completely take for granted. I'm not worried about getting a whopping three percent raise at work, I'm worried about getting enough day labor to feed my ass and get me out of town.
> 
> I once thought that as soon as I got tired of traveling that I could just quit and live a normal life. I look back at that now and I can't believe what a complete dumbass I was. Even if I could stand to be in one place and have a house I wouldn't be 'normal' bc I just can't see myself ever caring about the bullshit that normals care about ever again. The things that I've learned, the things I've done on the road have fundamentally changed me forever. Terms like good and bad are relative so I won't judge the changes, it's probably enough just to admit to the change.
> 
> I suppose this doesn't deal with old friends and family but I think it may help to explain the disconnect some may be feeling.


YES!!!


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## Homelessbychoice

I am a 24 year old solo female traveler. Going to my hometown to see my family can be excruciating at times. They do not understand my need for freedom and j do not understand their desire for normalcy. Finding this site is a breath of fresh air thank you guys so much!!


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## CloudyESTL

yeah im in the same boat....but its even worse cuz ontop of getting yanked off the road I got put in prison ..now im out n visiting my folks...anyway yeah it sucks....getting out of prison is a whole nother issues tho…..41 months is a long time


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