# it really happened. And it happened to ME!



## sandpaper cowboy

Deleted


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## Cree

5 minutes of my life i will never get back from reading this


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## sandpaper cowboy

Cree said:


> 5 minutes of my life i will never get back from reading this



...well, can't win em all I guess.


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## creature

this has only happened to you once??

every time i land someplace new, i run into a tractor beam..

not nurses & stuff, but they look a lot like salamanders with spaghetti colanders on their heads, prodding each other with violins, and making something like noises that feel like my head is being forced up an old-style hand pump & then stuffed into a battery that makes some kind of negative light that forces me backwards through time & makes me stay in the places i've tried hardest to forget, & then they tell me "it's ok.. it's ok.. it's just a small existential donation to continued maintenance of the sublime power structures we have put on your planet to secure your general welfare & good being..", & then, after living through the bicycle accident, or the refrigerator slamming into me, or the model rocket engines that blew up & engulfed me in flames (no fucking kidding) for what seems to be about 72 hours, they release me with a claw shake & something that i think is supposed to be a smile, but looks more like how i feel when i am drunkenly regurgitating, & thank me for my time, which is never actually more that a few minutes & always, always, always winds up with me stuck in my bed at about two AM in the morning, no matter *what* time i had *actually* gone to bed before that...

yeah.. i agree..

this donation shit is pretty, pretty freaky...


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## creature

& you know..?? the funny thing is that sudden blood loss is sometimes accompanied by near shock experiences or episodes of delusion..

i wish they would just be satisfied with canned goods, motherfuckers...


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## iamwhatiam

What kind of drugs u been taking? lol go easy with those research chemicals bro


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## creature

research???

you mean...

they've been experimenting on us since *birth*????


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## drewski

Damnit cowboy...I wasn't here for fiction you sneaky mofo. That being said I'll hold back my dislike rating ::cigar::


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## Odin

Creative writing for a crack head. ::cigar::


(jking)



sandpaper cowboy said:


> Sensai would've been proud.



How do I join your dojo?

::


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## EphemeralStick

While I appreciate your awesome creativity StP isn't really a place for that kind of writing. 

Awesome story telling none the less


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## Odin

EphemeralStick said:


> New While I appreciate your awesome creativity StP isn't really a place for that kind of writing.



I understand that we need to keep somekinda regulations... But this was too good to pass up.

Has my vote.


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## sandpaper cowboy

drewski said:


> Damnit cowboy...I wasn't here for fiction you sneaky mofo. That being said I'll hold back my dislike rating ::cigar::



sorry bro, and thanks. You're my rock, you know that right? 

I'll do better next time.


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## sandpaper cowboy

EphemeralStick said:


> While I appreciate your awesome creativity StP isn't really a place for that kind of writing.
> 
> Awesome story telling none the less



Hey, sorry about that. Don't mean to cause any trouble. I'll reel it in if it's not allowed. Thanks for the kind words.


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## Matt Derrick

ah, it was amusing enough that it belongs here. thanks for the contribution


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## Jaguwar

I needed that. I'm glad the admins enjoyed it enough to let it stay too. I was thinking about sharing some real, actual crazy, but this was much better. Thanks, @sandpaper cowboy.


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## Hobo Huck

WTF did I just read.

Alright, well that's enough internet for me tonight. Just gonna pack it up and head on out of here, guys.

*jumps through the nearest window*


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## Tude

hehe - OK so you had me till the jamming the needle in the eye.


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## Kal

Nice story I liked it.


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## sandpaper cowboy

Thanks everybody.


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## Trvshwvng

I didn't realize this story was bullshit til the metal clamps and by then I was almost done masturbating.


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## Jaguwar

lol as long as you didn't lose it... edging SUCKS!


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## Trvshwvng

Luckily someone lost an eye and I promptly finished. Pun intended.


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## Jaguwar

gigglesnort... now that's what I'm talkin' about! [emoji14]


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## 6bummin6it6

I was wondering where my daily dose of nonsense would come from


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## AlwaysLost

Now I'm going to have nightmares


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## Popsicle

Your full of shit unless you went to the killmunati place ? Was tupac there !


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## Hobo Mud

Lol!


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