# Torn...more of a rant than a question...:\



## chaosfactorxx (Oct 19, 2011)

So, i'm leaving in 2 days to hit the road again, and I'm sort of torn. I'm pretty much in love with this kid...we used to date and we've pretty much been "together" since I got back in April, he's pretty much the only reason I stuck around for the last 6 months and idk what the fuck to do about it. I'm like, torn because I love the road, it's my life, but I love this kid too and he won't leave with me. He's the responsible type and spanging and bumming it around is totally outta the question for him. I'm just so fucking confused. Like, i hate being in a house, I'm bored outta my fucking mind, but I really care about this kid. Fuck man, this shit is retarded. So, do I stay and try and settle down again and a get a job or do I leave and hope that he'll still be here whenever I decide to show my face in this town again? I think I'm most nervous that he'll find someone while I'm gone. Idk what to do.

-end emo rant-


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## jake4569 (Oct 19, 2011)

If he's that great I'd stay, u can always leave whenever you want, maybe flip a coin if its that hard to choose..


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## Eng JR Lupo RV323 (Oct 19, 2011)

I read Paulo Coelho - "The Alchemist" some time back and I really liked the character Fatima. She was a woman of the desert, she explained to Santiago that she is proud of his freedom, and to love him she must also love his dreams and passions. The alchemist explained to the boy "love never keeps a man from pursuing his personal legend. If he abandons that pursuit, it's because it wasn't true love". 
I know this is just some silly lines out of a book, but I thought they had some alright depth to them. My mom used to quote some cliche line about if you love something you should set it free and if it doesn't return it wasn't yours to begin with. I guess what I'm trying to say is if that boy of yours understands you, he oughta understand why you need to go. If he loves you half as much as you love him, he'll wait for you. 
Why is it you need to go anyway? I think it's great to be free and ramble and such, travel all you can but.... when you've found something worth hanging around for, why not lay around in that sunshine for a while? Why do you wanna run from it when it's barely opening up? It seems like you're really interested in this cat.. How about you hang around a while, find some job that isn't going to wreck your spirit and stack some duckets up. 
You could get a ride and some better gear and go do some shit with a ride that you couldn't do with the forms of travel you're used to. Kinda meet him in the middle ya know? I think you really need to find out whether or not he's even willing to travel. If he's got no intentions to leave and you're feet are itching, it's probably not going to work. You can still get your travel on, with him and his more responsible ways if you stack a little cash first and he's got nothing binding him to one place.
Good luck to you whichever you decide.. I hope that wasn't all too dear abby and shit.


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## wizehop (Oct 19, 2011)

You have to stay true to your soul. If your not happy settling down chances are it will come out eventually and the relationship will fail because you will be unhappy. To many people deny themselves who they are and spend most of there life miserable.
I'm from a government town. Here everyone takes some shit ass job in a cubicle working for the government. They chase this false sense of security with an easy job, when in reality their life is sucked out of them... Who really dreams of pushing paper as a kid? Not one person pushing papers for the Public service can honestly tell me that's what they wanted out of life. Then they start spending all their funds on brand names and shit to try and make up for their emptiness.
Point being at the end of the day if you need to roam you must roam. Chances are when your older at some point you will want to settle down. In which case if its meant to be you can shack up then.


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## Deleted member 125 (Oct 19, 2011)

if you stay for somebody else you will regret it. i sure as hell did.


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## river dog (Oct 19, 2011)

dont base your life decisions on your fears of what your loved ones actions will be, or something like that. or do.


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## trash diver (Oct 19, 2011)

True love never ends.


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## Sharkbite (Oct 19, 2011)

It's really a personal decision based on your own emotions and desires. No matter what decision you make you won't be entirely content. However, if you went back on the road you will certainly find someone you love just as much who loves to travel like you.


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## CrisM (Oct 19, 2011)

I'm in the same position. My boyfriend and I have been together two years and we haven't spent a day apart since we met, we never fought and we are in an awesome relationship. Same type as far as not wanting anything to do with traveling, and I say this respectfully, but he has a minimal love for adventure. And I have approached it like this: I'm going. I am doing what I would expect anyone I love to do and that is to do what the WANT; do what makes them happy and pursue their passion. If he's not okay with that, I told him I would respect his decision but there's no way I'm giving up what I want to do. I will try to compromise as far as making sure I stay in touch and visit, but if he's not okay with it, then he's simply not okay with it.

Do what you want. And imagine not doing it and see how _that _makes you feel. More uncomfortable than you would if you left?


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## acrata4ever (Oct 19, 2011)

if youre unhappy wherever you go you will be unhappy. breakups usually happen withing 6 months-2 years. if you stay where you are what are you gonna miss? 6 months of traveling in the cold and rain? weight it realistically dont follow your heart either way. following your heart will fuck you up every time.


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## chaosfactorxx (Oct 20, 2011)

Thanks everyone. I'm going to talk to him tonight before I leave and see what's good with us. I've tried to get him to rubbertramp it with me and he said he doesn't want to do all the driving, since I don't drive, which is understandable, no one wants to be driving for hours on end without a break. He's curious about traveling, but he doesn't like the idea of having to panhandle. I've been trying to get him to WWOOF with me, but I think my choice to stay or go will solely be decided on whether or not he wants a relationship. If he does, I'll glady hang up my boots and see what's good, I mean, I'm only 21, I have a ton of years to get back on the road, and if he doesn't, well, then it's really not worth sticking around, now is it?


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## Earth (Oct 20, 2011)

This time last year, I was going through the exact same thing - except I was the one wanting to stay and she was the one wanting to never settle down and always live in a state of flux.

I told her that she needed to do what her heart was telling her, and that was to get the fuck out of here.
Had she done so then, there's a good chance we would have remained close friends via here, FB, email, etc.....

But she decided to stick it out - I guess hoping that i would change - and we drove each other nuts to where her hatred towards me was as real as it gets...

So, she finally split to a place I would not like at all, simply because it seems too boring....
But - the important thing is we are both free again, and most likely (at least on my end) won't make the same kind of mistake again.

Don't get me wrong: I was very distraught about her leaving for about two solid months, while I know for a fact she simply erased me out of her life, something I hope her new man did as well... (that's another story)
- BUT man, I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooo glad that what we once had (we did indeed jump the broom - literally) is now disolved, because it simply would have never worked....

Only thing I'm angry about is that she should have never gotten to know me in the first place if she knew she was never gonna stay - because that wasted both of our time and energy - but for me, one good thing did come out of it: I got the dog!!

Winner winner, chicken dinner!!!!

You need to decide whats more important: simply drifting and never settling - or settling...
My guess is you would rather have a vague carefree way of life just drifting around.

If that's the case: You need to seperate, and move on. You'll both be happier this time next year.

You can trust me on that..............


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## acrata4ever (Oct 20, 2011)

hmm to find out if a guy is serious... thats another easy one I WANT A RING! say it exactly like that


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