# Normal....



## cultofsam (May 26, 2015)

I remember it like it was yesterday, I had warrants out for my arrest in the state of New York. Where I'm from, where all my family was from. I had never traveled, never done anything like that, but I seemed to be running out of options. Little did I expect to love the road and end up with a permanent addiction to it.

I ended up catching a ride with a friend south with some of my friends who ended up being my road family, or as you guys say road dogs. I ended up in a town called Wellsville, NY. (Didn't even get out of the state with the first shot.) I met this couple named Joe and Amber who took us in, helped us out, etc. They then drove us to Williamsport, PA. After that the next couple of years were dedicated to hitchin' the USA. I had seen it all when I ended up in Miami, FL. I was already a recovered relapse, and anyone who knows Miami and their drugs, will tell you it's the place to be. Cheap, quality product. I soon relapsed. I developed a worse problem than before, I was soon a heroin addict. Now, I have been clean for two years. Yay me, but in order for me to have achieved that I woke up one day, went to the train station I bird bathed in and I looked in the mirror, my usually 180lb self was bone thin, with bags under my eyes and sunken in cheeks.

I then called my mother and next thing I knew I was leaving the life I had grown so accustomed to, I had began to love. I was on my way back to a mess of legal problems, relationship problems, etc. And I felt rather empty leaving my road pals to go get clean, but it had to be done.

I got back to Batavia, NY during a blizzard, note I was in Miami so all I owned were some skirts and 2 dead shirts. I was wrapped in my sleeping bag walking off the bus. It was five am, I couldn't even tell you the last time I had actually bathed and my mother broke down into tears at the sight of me. She took me home and got me bathed and bought me a new wardrobe, (I have the best mom in the world). I then went to bed for 24 straight hours and the sickness began. I was dope sick for about a week. Then after I was done being sick, I turned myself into the Genesee County Sheriffs Department. I did my time and got out of jail and went back home to my mom, with a healthy looking face, healing tracks and a little more meat on my bones.

I had gotten out of jail in the spring and thats when I decided to give "normal" a shot. I started applying for jobs every where and soon the calls were flooding in from all sorts of places that suck. I ended up grabbing a job at the local mcdonalds, but that wasn't good enough... That still wasn't normal. 8$ an hour wasn't going to pay for me to be self sufficient. So I then looked again, and I got the call of a life time (for me at the time anyways). The Home Depot wanted me to come in for an interview, and I nailed it. They offered me a job on the spot making 13$ an hour working in sales. I managed over a year to climb the ropes from being a garden sales associate, to a lumber associate, pro sales and then I got a big one. They asked me to be the Garden Department Supervisor at 17$ an hour... I took the position in stride, but for some reason I wasn't happy. I had gotten my apartment, always had food, pot and wine. I was clean off the hard shit. Why couldn't I be happy? Well I tried to live outside and see if it would cure my wonderlust, but no.... It still wasn't enough. After putting two years into my work, into my normal life.... I realized, it's not me. It's not for me, and it probably never will be again.

I love the road, and the road loves me. I gave up a fantastic job, a beautiful house, everything... Because.... Well fuck it. I'm still clean, I have my road family back. And I'm truly, truly happy.


So I guess what I'm getting at, is I would like to know if anyone else couldn't maintain happiness doing what they thought they were supposed to do?


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## Wawa (May 27, 2015)

Naw I never tried to go back, but I got to just say something: I'm really, sincerely happy for you. Well done.


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## cultofsam (May 27, 2015)

Thank you so much


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## Ketchup (May 28, 2015)

Good story  way to go getting clean, 've ben on opiates heavy since like 2001. Only times since that I'd bn clean was when I was in jail and usually not then, I was having people mail suboxone strips stuck behind the stamp on my letters. A lil over a year ago I tried the evil syringe.... that started a huge downward spiral...luckily it was short lived. I got arrested after 4years of dipping on probation this happened in November last year. Found out about the third day in that I had a baby boy on the way. For me it was the kick in the ass I needed. My mom hired me a kickass attorney and I got off with only 3months house arrest that I just finished in south Carolina only about 6 weeks ago. Now I'm in Florida workin a gd job staying clean(i do kratom and weed only) and hoping to save up and hire a good family lawyer and hopefully get equal custody of my son whose due July 4th. The catch is she's married, she had run away with me for several months until I got locked up. Now she's back with her husband(what an idiot) and idk for sure if I'll ever meet my son. That's all that's keeping me in there. Anyway I'm sorry to post this long ass message but your post was motivtional so I thought I'd share mine. I've always been hooked on traveling. I go somewhere new every opportunity I had and stay a few months til I get bored and go somewhere else. SSo I'm back in Ocala Florida for the nd time in three years  lol. Ok yea... I'll shutup now haha


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## Anagor (May 28, 2015)

Hi!

I'm far away from what you did. First one-month backpacking tour to UK (I'm from Europe) in September last year. Paid vacation. As I came back, I had only one thought in my mind: doing that again as soon as possible. So I went to a second one-month trip in January. As I came back home ... well guess what I was thinking about ...

Well, I had to wait for some time due to circumstances, but if everything is going as planned I depart for another trip next Tuesday. This time not on paid vacation and without a fixed date to come back. I'm a bit nervous about it but also excited. Looking forward getting out of here soon.

I just can't stand being here anymore, doing the same stuff every day.

Wish you all the best. Great you got clean and I hope it stays that way. 

Save travels!


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## cultofsam (May 28, 2015)

Thank you both for the stories. I hope you get to see your sun @Ketchup and I wish I could have gotten paid to travel. I'm trying to get into this job where I get paid to stay in hotels and try out their customer service, but thats a story for a different day hahahaha.


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## Ketchup (May 28, 2015)

Dude that's awesome I'd love a job like that. Get me a job I'm a hotel motel connoisseur Haha.


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## Doc Road (Jul 8, 2015)

I have a reoccurring dream this reminds me of. I'm at my last long term job,doing what's known as busting tires. 
I worked for a major tire distributor,I did service there,well most times I was out in a company truck doing on the spot replace/repairs. And that was my life day in day out,for the better part of a decade. Years averaging 70 hours a week,some were 85-90 hours,never making more than 45k a year,witch wouldn't have been so fucked if it wert for Irs tacking 12k as if I hadn't earned it. Not to mention all the EPIC near death experiences,from rim/tire failures witch end in catastrophic explosions! Or trucks falling of the jack wile under them . Not many would work in our environment so it was close nite and full of tragedy;fathers and brothers lost, simply too keep the wheels spinning. 
The alcoholism developed out of a need to release,all waking hours not working were spent splashing um down(sneaking off to local strip clubs for "lunch" was norm too). Then the depression. When all the world seems to go on without you. And there seems to be no alternative from the repetitive daily hell. I went to the depths of my being,bottle in hand revolver in other ,one bullet in camber ready to go in less then a second. Needless to say the boos saved me,see,you start sucking at everything till your out of a job. 
Steadily all you knew is fading,bank account negative,motorcycle repoed,house full of shit gone(sept my bicycle)along with fake friends. But o so free now! If it wert for self destruction I'd never of killed my old life thus this new one would not be. Now I know what others can't,dew to the blinders and false security of society. Now is hard as ever but I'm free,I'm me,and not alone. I mean here we all are? I owe much to a couple I picked up while on a job. The girl was hiding in the trees out of site and was called after the dude and I talked,kinda made me rethink but then I understood,precautions. We chatted it up for an hour,at last I told them,I want your life! To witch they said,do it! That was the seed,and now I plant them too on my travels,on my bike.
So there I am,at work,and it's me now so I know what I know now. And I don't give a fuck,don't get shit done,frustrated,service truck is in the drive,radio off,me hung over,thinking why did I spent all that energy getting my job back? Fuck! What the fuck,I know better,then;I'm awake fucking AWAKE! And I know I'm still doing the thang living for me,my bike and bag near by ready to go wherever whenever drop of a hat! Fucking job dream,but it's nice waking too in a fucked up way,comparative,ya know. And that's how I want my old life ways to stay...night mares and dead memories...


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