# So, my best friend tried to kill me last night.



## TanMan (Sep 3, 2012)

Yes, there was alcohol involved. Lots. But he wasn't just stupid drunk like he usually gets. He was "I fucking hate you and I'm determined to have you die at my hands tonight." drunk. And I'm not exaggerating.
There's a bike path that runs along a river in the small town I live in. It's about 3 miles, give or take, from my vicinity to his via said bike path. We like it because it's very secluded and a nice spot to fuck around and get drunk.
Which brings us to the events of last night.
It was about 7PM and me and Tony (psycho) were at my house. He'd bought a bottle of Karkov and he invited me to sleep over his house. We were talking and mixing drinks and, before you know it, we're halfway into this bottle of vodka and still at my house. We were pretty lit, to say the least, but not too bad off. Our friend Joel (non-psycho) paid for half the bottle and was going to meet up with us to drink it. Tony wanted more liquor, so he decided to refill it with random shit. He filled it back to the top with Triple-Sec and tequila. We packed up my stuff and started walking toward the bike path toward his house.
It's about 10:30PM at this point and we've killed half a bottle of vodka and half a bottle of triple-sec/tequila/vodka whathaveyou. We're stumbling and laughing at each other. It's a very messy but generally cheery venture. But then he started getting nervous because Joel wasn't showing up. He started pacing and eventually just began running off into the night. Note that this bike path is pitch dark and runs through the middle of the god damn woods and I'm fit-shaced and don't know what the fuck's going on, so I'm screaming for Tony and calling Joel like a madman and Joel keeps telling me "I'm on my way man, I'll be there soon." 
Skip to about midnight (according to my call logs).
Joel shows up and gets me up and we all start walking. Tony's getting more psycho by the minute. I kept falling and Joel was being real calm about it, just trying to keep me standing and walking. But Tony's screaming "FUCKING MOVE, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" as loud as he can and I was pissed because, you know, when you're shitfaced all you wanna do is lay down. And I was yelling and he started yelling back at me. Then he came at me. So I, of course, fought back. At first, I just kept pushing him and tripping him cause I didn't want it. I was just trying to chill man. And he was all up at me. And then i guess i cussed him out good enough to get him royally pissed. Started screaming "I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!" at the top of his voice and just fucking coming at me. And I kept popping him in the face trying to drop him. Then I guess I connected and when I did he went limp and I fell into him and brought him down with me and he came to in a few seconds and flipped me over and started choking me out. Joel who's just chillin watching all this shit had to pull him off and I attacked him and just started ground and pounding him. And then Joel had to pull me off of him and we kept going at it and going at it. Choked me out, got pulled off; tried to throw me in the river, got pulled off; tried to throw me down a ravine, I countered and HE fell down the ravine; tried coming at me with a 2 x 4, got pulled off. It wasn't just a pussy ass high school kid normal fight. It was a straight deathmatch. He wanted to fucking kill me. and we were throwing eachother into shit, beating each other off the pavement.. everything. It ended when he tried to come at me with the post. Ripped a fence post out of the damn ground. like a straight 2 by 4. (Holy drunk strength.) and he was just pulling some jack nicholson from The Shining shit. dudes laughing and crying and dragging it behind him coming at me screaming random nazi shit. And Joel, the most sober dude, wasn't having that shit. Joel went up to him and was like "man this has gotta end." and he just dropped the post and burst into tears. and he came up to me and was all hugging me and shit like crying and "i'm so fucking sorry man! i'm so fucking sorry! i didn't mean it!" i got his blood all over me, i got his tears all over me, he's clinging on me and shit. Joel said i'm fucking lucky. When Joel first showed up he had a weird feeling and took tony's knife away probably a minute pre-altercation. If Joel showed up a little later, one of us probably would have been dead.

Bad fucking night.


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## Earth (Sep 3, 2012)

Indeed.... 
Man, that was one wild story..
Fucking nuts!!
Glad those days are long behind me.....


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## TanMan (Sep 3, 2012)

It was just.. not a good night.
On top of that, the next day... excessive drinking + drunken deathmatch = full body hangover. Everything hurt. Still does.


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## Matt Derrick (Sep 3, 2012)

Man, people don't realize how dangerous excessive amounts of alcohol can be sometimes. Know your limits I suppose.


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## TanMan (Sep 3, 2012)

I mean, me and Joel drink like that frequently without incident. It was just him being there and not being able to handle his liquor. He overdid himself and no one could stop him because it was his liquor, he bought it and he fully intended to drink as much of it as possible. But I don't know. We all drank the same amount and I mean.. I was competent enough to defend myself and fight back and Joel was competent enough to try to talk him down and break us up.. and we both remember everything. But according to Tony, he doesn't remember a thing.

I don't think it's just alcohol at play here. I think there was some underlying issue.. or maybe he has a serious problem. Either way, I just never pictured myself having to utter the sentence, "I had to kick my best friend's ass so he would stop trying to kill me." in my life. It just.. no.


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## wizehop (Sep 3, 2012)

Ah good old alcohol fueled rage...happens to the best of em. And man it can cause crazy shit without there being a back story. If he came at you with a pick axe (he hid before hand while sober) I'd be a little more concerned..but having some drunk fucking guy saying hes going to kill you then choking you out aint so bad.

Its a fresh event...give it a few days, but probably not a guy to drink excessively with anymore

Ill keep my eyes in the news though just encase they find your body


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## Matt Derrick (Sep 4, 2012)

wizehop said:


> Ah good old alcohol fueled rage...happens to the best of em. And man it can cause crazy shit without there being a back story. If he came at you with a pick axe (he hid before hand while sober) I'd be a little more concerned..but having some drunk fucking guy saying hes going to kill you then choking you out aint so bad.
> 
> Its a fresh event...give it a few days, but probably not a guy to drink excessively with anymore
> 
> Ill keep my eyes in the news though just encase they find your body



Not that bad? I've seen alcohol result in so many near murders that its seriously made me reconsider the people I hang out with. Seriously, if you come anywhere even near murdering someone while drunk, you need to seriously reconsider you station in life.


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## shiftingGEARS (Sep 4, 2012)

Sounds like a fun night to me, fending off a drunkin zombie.


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## wizehop (Sep 4, 2012)

Matt Derrick said:


> Not that bad? I've seen alcohol result in so many near murders that its seriously made me reconsider the people I hang out with. Seriously, if you come anywhere even near murdering someone while drunk, you need to seriously reconsider you station in life.


 

This sounds like FAAAR from a murder situation to me.


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## TanMan (Sep 4, 2012)

wizehop said:


> This sounds like FAAAR from a murder situation to me.


If it weren't for my other friend taking his knife and if it weren't for Joel being there to stop him from choking me out, I'm pretty sure I would have died. I don't think it sounds that far from a murder situation. It definitely could have resulted in death.
I mean, Joel was restraining him because he pulled out his key (due to the fact he couldn't find his knife) and was muttering, "Just.. just let me kill him. Just let me fucking kill him. Just let me kill him."
Sounds like it could have easily ended up really bad to me.

He even said, after the fact, "Good thing you took my knife, man. That wouldn't have been pleasant." with a laugh. Dude was tapped off that shit man.

Maybe not a murder situation, but very possibly a manslaughter situation.


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## Pheonix (Sep 4, 2012)

Matt Derrick said:


> Not that bad? I've seen alcohol result in so many near murders that its seriously made me reconsider the people I hang out with. Seriously, if you come anywhere even near murdering someone while drunk, you need to seriously reconsider you station in life.





wizehop said:


> This sounds like FAAAR from a murder situation to me.


 
yeah, your both right. Drunken murder is not murder it's manslaughter. The human body is alot more fragile then most people think, it just takes one good hit to end someones life. Yet the human body (especially a drunken one) can take a serious beating with no long term damage.

I believe since there was no premeditation to kill, your friend doesn't actually want to kill you (he just wanted to win a fight at any cost) But I do believe it's safe to consider your friend a violent drunk and you should take that into consideration next time you drink with him.


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## TanMan (Sep 4, 2012)

Pheonix said:


> yeah, your both right. Drunken murder is not murder it's manslaughter. The human body is alot more fragile then most people think, it just takes one good hit to end someones life. Yet the human body (especially a drunken one) can take a serious beating with no long term damage.
> 
> I believe since there was no premeditation to kill, your friend doesn't actually want to kill you (he just wanted to win a fight at any cost) But I do believe it's safe to consider your friend a violent drunk and you should take that into consideration next time you drink with him.


 
Very much agreed. I probably won't even have a beer with him again.


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## finn (Sep 4, 2012)

My philosophy for alcohol is for it to act as a social lubricant, not as a brain shutoff switch. I don't know what y'all are using alcohol for, but it's certainly not the previous.


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## TanMan (Sep 4, 2012)

finn said:


> My philosophy for alcohol is for it to act as a social lubricant, not as a brain shutoff switch. I don't know what y'all are using alcohol for, but it's certainly not the previous.


Well, see, that's the thing. Me and Joel can handle our liquor for the most part. We keep within what we can drink. But we both have noticed that Tony tends to start acting funny after one. And he's really not faking it. I think he may have some sort of chemical imbalance where alcohol affects him much more than the average person.
I mean, I definitely outdid myself on sunday night, no doubt about it. We all did. But me and Joel were still okay enough to where we remember the whole night and we were mostly cognizant. It was Tony who came at me and I acted in self defense. Me and Joel were fine, considering how drunk we got.


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## keg (Sep 4, 2012)

sounds like a normal day in my life.My friends say i am the only one who does not change no matter how much i drink.but cracks another story.Its fun to watch my friends change before my eyes.One time i was in Japan drinking in the street and this huge marine will full body tattoos and just HUGE muscles asked if he could drink with me.So we start drinking(he was drinking just beer)and after every beer his wrist would be a little limper and he ended up a full queen and begging me to piss in his mouth.Then of course came the tears...


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## TanMan (Sep 4, 2012)

keg said:


> sounds like a normal day in my life.My friends say i am the only one who does not change no matter how much i drink.but cracks another story.Its fun to watch my friends change before my eyes.One time i was in Japan drinking in the street and this huge marine will full body tattoos and just HUGE muscles asked if he could drink with me.So we start drinking(he was drinking just beer)and after every beer his wrist would be a little limper and he ended up a full queen and begging me to piss in his mouth.Then of course came the tears...


It's always the biggest, baddest dudes with something to hide, hahaha. Funny shit.


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## Pheonix (Sep 5, 2012)

What I still don't get is if your friend paid for half a bottle of vodka why did you mix triple sec and to-kill-ya in his half bottle of vodka instead of just drinking the triple sec and to-kill-ya? I personally would have been pissed if you did that to my vodka considering triple sec has a lower alcohol content and tequila taste like shit.

PS the reason I call Tequila = To-kill-ya is cause every good tequila story I hear sounds pretty close to this one, that's why I've come to leave that drink alone.


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## Deleted member 125 (Sep 13, 2012)

jesus christ what a train wreck. im glad that as i get older less people im around want to be drunken idiots. i think some of it comes with age honestly, i remember getting into alot more drunk arguements with friends when i was around yer age that could of ended pretty badly. but if i was you i wouldnt drink with that guy anymore.


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## TanMan (Sep 13, 2012)

cantcureherpes said:


> jesus christ what a train wreck. im glad that as i get older less people im around want to be drunken idiots. i think some of it comes with age honestly, i remember getting into alot more drunk arguements with friends when i was around yer age that could of ended pretty badly. but if i was you i wouldnt drink with that guy anymore.


Welp, been about a week and a half and I still haven't even seen him since, so I doubt I'll be drinking with him soon.


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## EphemeralStick (Sep 14, 2012)

jesus that sounds like a bad time. i've met guys who are completely harmless when theyre sober but the minute they get inebriated it's like a Jekyll and Hyde transformation. Most of these guys also have some sort of strange underlying issue that just makes them either angry, or sad, or just overall aggressive.


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