# Staying Sane and Mental Escapes During the Last Days. How's the apocalypse treating you?



## Deleted member 27861 (Mar 16, 2020)

So, I apologize in advance, I really hate making posts like this, but I just feel mentally done, and I just need to vent.

I'm stuck in a spot where it's like, if I stay home, I'll be comforting my family and serving my community for about 10% of the time, but 90% of the time, I'm just gonna be battling with loneliness and depression. There's nothing to do except lay in bed and do school work, and every time I try to do something here, there's s fuck ton of obstacles blocking me from doing them, or it just seems like so much trouble, and I have so little energy for it, that it just doesn't seem worth it. Like everything feels like I'm moving a boulder for some reason. 

And then people keep pushing the boulder against me, keep sitting on the boulder, keep telling me, "Now Wheat you know you shouldn't be pushing that boulder" or, "Come on, Wheat! Stop being a pussy and shove that boulder you worthless piece of shit!" Or, "No, Wheat. You have to push the boulder like _this_, otherwise it's wrong." Or, "You know, Wheat. That boulder will be much lighter to push if you just have faith in God the same way _we_ do." And then the boulder keeps getting snagged on rigid corners and stuck in narrow pathways.

But it's like, if I leave now, it will be cowardly of me, and I'm certain everyone will see it that way, plus I'd be putting my life in danger, putting other people's lives in danger, leaving my aging chain-smoking father behind in the midst of something that can easily kill him, and I'd be forfeiting being a part of this Mormon community and group of friends I've kind of grown fond of, and even though I have no interest in being a Mormon, they're literally the only community I have here, and with _Spanish Flu 2: Electric Boogaloo_ just releasing in theaters, it's pretty fucking unlikely that _ANYONE_ is going to welcome me into their community or circle of friends right now.

I've decided that the right thing to do is to stay here until all this shit blows over, focus on my classes, and volunteer at a soup kitchen about a 30 minute drive from here, even if it's at the cost of my physical and mental health since, it's not likely to be better out _there_, either. Really it's not the volunteering that's bad for my mental health, it's the staying indoors all the damn time.

In the meantime, I need some mental escapes. I've been doing 10 minute meditations almost every day now, I've been...pecking, at the Bible a bit more, I've been praying more, but I've started drinking a bit. Not that the shit touches my brain with how much mucus is surrounding it. I try to go for walks in the back yard when it's not TOO wet and cold, and even when it is.

Does anyone have any suggestions. I feel like the only escape from this is to go on some mental journey, and at this point, I don't really care if I come back down to reality or not. I just can't do psychedelics because I live with my family.


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## blank (Mar 18, 2020)

I just want toilet paper, man. Do Mormons have toilet paper? I can convert.


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## Deleted member 27861 (Mar 18, 2020)

blank said:


> I just want toilet paper, man. Do Mormons have toilet paper? I can convert.



Yeah, I think they're the prepper type. They offer magic underwear, I hear. Maybe it's skid-proof.

But I mean, if you've got water, or better yet leaves, you can use those.

Hey not to sound like a nut, well more of a nut, but this almost feels like one of those times where it's like we live in some video game, and someone is just trying to test to see how the matrix reacts when they stick their finger in it.

It's just so surreal. How the entire world is literally shutting down in unison like this. Shit like this wouldn't be possible even just a few decades ago.

That's globalization at work.


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## Odin (Mar 18, 2020)

blank said:


> I just want toilet paper, man. Do Mormons have toilet paper? I can convert.




HAHA.... okay folks let me give you a few tips on TP acquisition. One public restrooms... and yea don't be a duche and take it all... but you can pull out a few windings around your hand and put it in your backpack.


Next... this is the more desperate but actually easier way. In some towns areas there are free newspapers. The "LOCAL" times so to speak that has local classifieds and the police news blotter. 

Very common to find these in gas stations and liquor stores.

Just snag a few at each place you stop and walla... not the most tushy soft option but better than a bare hand of stinky peanut butter! 

Edit: also its funny the tp thing in the US. it's partly from our horrible processed foods diet... makes for nastier poop.... no one wants to hand wipe that shit LOL

Eat healthy veggie and protein balanced diet will give you cleaner so to speak poo I guess. 

I mean wouldn't it be great if you just dropped like concentrated pellets that didn't leave any residue behind... 

Kinda like Rabbits... or Guinea Pigs... or.... a number of other "don't eat that it's not chocolate chips" animals... 


... Oh I amuse myself. 


Peace.

Oh right... hope you see this on topic... as it will keep you sane to worry less about tp and how you gonna complete a natural bodily function in these terrible terrible times.

.... honest I am burnt out on it all myself and just gonna be ZEN and let be what will be.

Again... be at peace.


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## Deleted member 27861 (Mar 19, 2020)

And all this time in my entire life I thought it was just normal for me to have to wipe 15-20 times every time I go to the bathroom.

You know I DID notice a difference in stool one time when I went paleo.


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## Deleted member 13433 (Mar 20, 2020)

15 - 20 times ??

I'd be really hurting bad if I did that !!


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## Deleted member 27861 (Mar 20, 2020)

It does after the 4th #2.


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## boongah4 (May 4, 2020)

I don't expect this to blow your mind or anything but...books. Seeing as how we all have a lot of time on our hands maybe try to get through a couple of titles you have always meant to read when you had the time. Granted, the libraries are closed now so you either work through the books you have piled up waiting to be read (don't judge me), get a some kind of electronic reader and connect to your local library or do a search on Project Gutenberg - https://www.gutenberg.org. If you want to buy books I really recommend Ebay as you can usually find a used copy of whatever you are looking for for cheap. Not sure about where you live but around my area lots of folks put out those 'Little Free Libraries'. You never know what you might find in one of those. Here's a map for some of them (Little Free Library Map - Little Free Library - https://littlefreelibrary.org/ourmap/).


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## Groundscore (May 6, 2020)

I will second the book suggestion. Try to pick something that takes you away from reality that you find interesting. If you end up bored with your first choice try another book.

I've found that books are a great way to get pulled into another world where all the stress and crap in this one doesn't exist, so you can escape it for a while and feel at peace after getting a mental break.


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## Odin (May 6, 2020)

Groundscore said:


> I will second the book suggestion. Try to pick something that takes you away from reality that you find interesting. If you end up bored with your first choice try another book.
> 
> I've found that books are a great way to get pulled into another world where all the stress and crap in this one doesn't exist, so you can escape it for a while and feel at peace after getting a mental break.



You said it right!!!!!

One reason this COIVD shit is pissing me off like nothing else... OPEN UP THE Libraries !!!!


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## morphine (May 15, 2020)

I spent some time on cleaning up my apartment and making it look nice. Also just getting stuff done that has to be done but would be left undone forever during normal times. It gets your mind to off of things and you feel better after it.

And yes there's nothing better than books to forget the world, in my opinion.


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