# awwwww my anus



## whaleofashrimp

weather its walking 15 miles a day on interstates...or walking 5 miles commando into town..does anyone have problems with massive painful chaifing? i remember it was paticularly bad while wearing deinim and going commando..i mean it hurts enough to cry and theres a red rash that appears on my ass...anty remidys..i find a combination of not walking much and vasiline helps..though sometimes thats not an option..any suggestions?


----------



## dirtyfacedan

Use lube.


----------



## whaleofashrimp

ill add chaif lube...to the wierdist shit u carry thread


----------



## The Cheshire

Chamois Butt'r. Anti chaif lube.


----------



## whaleofashrimp

i think part of the problem is hemroids..i used to bleed from my anus alot..but it went away..but it comes back once in awhile paticularly when im chaffed..also has anyone noticed water spewing after a hard days exertion?


----------



## whaleofashrimp

all those people that brag about going commando while wearing denim...fuck u...u sit on ur ass all day..otherwise you'd be bleeding


----------



## The Cheshire

Commando in denim blows. Try sewing in a "cargo" net from some swim trunks


----------



## MrD

What the fuck is wrong with this site?


----------



## whaleofashrimp

u never had chaifing? what kind of butt buter u useing?


----------



## Dishka8643

Are your pants tight? Skin tight pants suck. They are completely useless as clothing. Get something loose and comfortable man.


----------



## Dmac

get a pair of spandex shorts and wear them under your pants, it will stop most of the friction. used to do that while in the army, when we had a big road-march, works great.


----------



## stove

Medicated chapstick. I use it all the time when I get chafing on long rough treks. Works wonders. Also, try spandex or something as dmac said to reduce friction.


----------



## stove

Wait, on your thighs or actually your anus? Thighs are chafing, anus is hemmeroids. For that, go see a doc.


----------



## bryanpaul

yeah that shit's up there with boot rot........i've had to waddle around like a pregnant cowboy a few times ....lotion helps


----------



## trotsky

this is probably one of the reasons most of us wear undergarments...?
Freeballin' it is pleasant but not always practical.


----------



## Aypathy

it can also be practical but not always pleasant.
i raise my hand in favor of the spandex undershorts idea. tight pants require something restrictive underneath, but in a supportive kind of way and not friction-y. swish, swish, swish. ah the relief as my junk is cradled lovingly in spandex.


----------



## Vonuist

stove said:


> Wait, on your thighs or actually your anus? Thighs are chafing, anus is hemmeroids. For that, go see a doc.



Apparently the active ingredient in Preperation H is Shark's Liver Oil.
I can only assume that someone with horribly bad piles was walking past a rotting shark carcass and thought, "Fuck it, anything's worth a try."


----------



## L.C.

I'm surprised no one mentioned gold bonds, or baby powder. I hate to be the one to say it first, but manpon anyone? Although it dredges up gross images it is probably the best solution. Especially since swamp-ass is a big precursor to the condition. I'm gonna stop before I give too much advice. If you don't know what a manpon is look up "The Man Show" and they have a segment on it.


----------



## L.C.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NN7HtmqXKus&feature=player_detailpage


----------



## JackieBlue

witch hazel for the bunghole sting or just plain hemorroids.....and yeah baby powder/gold bond is great, but pure cornstarch is better. cheap, easy to lift, and/or buyable with foodstamps.


----------



## baconrind

ha ha ha! Manpon! Yea dude baby powder or cornstarch. If your ass is still bleeding this 6 months later.


----------



## Dead horse

Dude I've had the same problem for years, it gets so excruciating at the worst possible moments and i totally know what you mean about every step gets so bad you could almost cry , seriously I've been on this path of self liberation from the system and other people trying to get me to conform that i gave up on under wear, its made the difference and things can get a bit hairy around the choda a few careful snips with the scissors to keep them nasty butt hairs from getting out of control and i was sweating less and walking more


----------



## Dead horse

And commando in jeans doesn't phase me, maybe i just have a really small penis


----------



## trash diver

JackieBlue said:


> witch hazel for the bunghole sting or just plain hemorroids.....and yeah baby powder/gold bond is great, but pure cornstarch is better. cheap, easy to lift, and/or buyable with foodstamps.


Ditto


----------



## Earth

Ok, right - well I've been shitting blood off and on for about twenty solid years now so I guess I could be considered an expert in the field.

In my case - it's definately related to a combination of diet and stress.

Cheap beer and lots of dairy = heinz ketchup / tomato sauce coming out for a few days....

Even worse: when it comes out like strawberry shortcake and you are having the dry heaves type shitting to where you think your insides are going to come out!!

I know you're going to think I'm out of my mind - but is the blood nice and red??
Red = Good (hemroids)
Dark = Bad (something internal)

However, with proper diet (and cooling it with the drinking of alcohol all the time) that problem went away real fast.
(not too mention having my most recent ex move 3000 miles away)

Make sure you drink lots and lots and lots of water.
Lots!!
Being hydrated is crucial to good health

And if you can find it - there's an aloe vera leaf GEL that comes in a brown gallon jug - which you drink 2 oz of each day, man let me tell you - as disgusting as it looks and feels in your mouth (like semam I'm sure) when you swallow it slowly you can feel it heal you from the inside out. Just make sure it's refridgerated, or else you will vomit.

Are you blocked?? There's a really good colon cleanser out there - believe it's called colon cleanse - which you can again find at a good health food store. Forget metamucil, you want the industrial strength stuff..... but again, if you're going to use it, make sure you are drinking lots of water throughout the day...

Can you do salt baths??
They fuckin rule!!

I got into them after watching Caligulia one night and something clicked.

Salt water (as in the ocean) is a great cure all too, but it's too damn cold
to go snorking / swimming now..............

Now, shitting water is an experience unto itself.
That happens if I'm sitting too long / belt is too tight, etc.... not properly discharging internal pressure....

What's interesting is that I see no relation between chafing and shitting blood.

I don't think I've ever had chafing per say - but I have gotten jock itch from cheap beer - especially old cheap beer thats been subjected through several temperture changes - so avoid that crap.
And you talk about a motherfucker to get rid of!!
I tried everything under the sun - including - GASP !! - seeing a doctor, but in the end - it was yet another previous ex who found something which resembled black tar which I applied and that cured it.

I think wearing "swing easy's" (boxers) might contribute to that as well.
Do you have any blood sugar issues (I have low) because that can cause problems too.

Rollins put some good advice out there: Keep your body lean and your blood clean
Believe me, it definatley works.

Keep us posted on how you're making out, GOOD LUCK !!


----------



## ayyyjayyy

This shit happened to me a few months back-I'd suggest gold bond or baby powder. I thought about taping my inner legs with the brown dry tape (forget what it's called) to keep them from touching each other it hurt so bad. I would google that shit though.



whaleofashrimp said:


> weather its walking 15 miles a day on interstates...or walking 5 miles commando into town..does anyone have problems with massive painful chaifing? i remember it was paticularly bad while wearing deinim and going commando..i mean it hurts enough to cry and theres a red rash that appears on my ass...anty remidys..i find a combination of not walking much and vasiline helps..though sometimes thats not an option..any suggestions?


----------



## Rancho

Going commando usually isn't the best ideal the more layers the better off you are


----------



## Rancho

Wear underwear I know i don't like it much but it will save you from walking that trail of tears


----------



## Kim Chee

...ummm I'm not sure if I just missed this thread or just chose to ignore it.
I hope this problem doesn't continue to haunt you.
Butt.... there is a condition called "anal fissures" see below:







I'm not sure if this is what you have going on, but it seems
like it could be something that a person could treat on their own.

btw: this isn't my butthole, I just "googled it"


----------



## Keyser Soze

SqUat


ThE


PLaNet
........................................................................................................................................................


----------



## Kim Chee

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooo! He didn't..................
(ban)


----------



## Alaska

khvkjggff, you just had to, didn't you?


----------



## wildboy860

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?


----------



## Keyser Soze

wildboy860 said:


> WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?


 
he was doing a power squat, yo.

just kidding, that was me this morning with the mickeys shits....


----------



## zoe420

whaleofashrimp said:


> weather its walking 15 miles a day on interstates...or walking 5 miles commando into town..does anyone have problems with massive painful chaifing? i remember it was paticularly bad while wearing deinim and going commando..i mean it hurts enough to cry and theres a red rash that appears on my ass...anty remidys..i find a combination of not walking much and vasiline helps..though sometimes thats not an option..any suggestions?


some pantyhose is a cheap way to avoid chafing, i mean i know it sounds wierd just try it youll thank me later


----------



## Kim Chee

This thread and the bleeding vagina eating thread can please go away.

I feel for you if your ass is bleeding.


----------



## Kamil

as a humanoid wi same sex tendencies, sumtimes my buthole has had a rough treatment and it can be preety uncomfortable esp when doing long marches while roughen it. does anyone notice that they hav more frequent bowel movements from walking alot n stuff? seriously i musta walked at least 20 miles today and yesterday combined, n sumtimes i feel like i hav to go to the bathroom even when i dont really need to. when iv gone a long timewithout eating sumtimes this yellow like mucus is secreted by my anus and the homies told me its the lining of my intestines er sumthen cuz i go without eating for so long that it burns up stomach n shit. am having my own weird little personal experience or duz anyone else hav a similar story. i cant be the only dude getn poned in the but on this forum


----------

