# homelife is a drag



## kokomojoe (Jul 8, 2013)

Well basically I need some advice/input on this situation.

My parents know that I'm going to start traveling soon and I told them how I decided not to go to college this semester and how I plan on just traveling for awhile. They basically broke down screaming/crying and were begging me not to go and saying how I'll die if I do. They also said they think I have a drug problem, which yeah I've done my fair share of drugs but am by no means addicted to anything or have a "problem." They really care about me and I don't want to hurt them by going. I was set on leaving but they really made me feel like a piece of shit and now I don't know if I can. I can't stay at home because it's just too awkward and depressing. I feel like I'm stuck here and my only way out is to just leave. There's a few friends that said I could live with them so I dont know if I should just move out for awhile or what. I'd feel selfish for doing it but I have no future here and every day feels like it's slowly killing me. I appreciate anyone who took the time to read about all my bullshit and any advice would be great.


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## Ireen (Jul 8, 2013)

If you aren't positive about leaving I would try staying with friends for a bit and then see how you feel about leaving. Take in to consideration what will make you feel worse staying there or going against your parents wishes. Maybe try talking with them again in a few days when they have had time to cool down.


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## kokomojoe (Jul 8, 2013)

Ireen said:


> If you aren't positive about leaving I would try staying with friends for a bit and then see how you feel about leaving. Take in to consideration what will make you feel worse staying there or going against your parents wishes. Maybe try talking with them again in a few days when they have had time to cool down.


 

I think that's what I'll end up doing, stay with a friend, call my parents, and then head from there.

Also your cat's cute as shit, I have a black cat too and she helps keep my spirit up lol


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## 1544c (Jul 8, 2013)

i know what you're talking about
my mom wasn't a fan of me traveling. i think my dad understands a lot more
and she brought up the fact that i was going be killed too
you probably won't be killed. odds are against it.


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## EphemeralStick (Jul 8, 2013)

Ultimately its your decision to make, maybe eventually they'll understand but right now you have to live for yourself. If you're living situation is causing you grief you should make a change to it. That doesn't necessarily mean you have to leave to find happiness, more like finding the reason you feel this way and addressing it. Don't let them change your mind so easily, if your heart is set on it you should go for it.


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## Charlie (Jul 8, 2013)

If they're dead set on you not traveling, then you probably don't want to do it until you know they can be comfortable with it. If you just take off now, they could have panic attacks and set off a heart attack (I had a panic attack and those SUCK). I would recommend living like you're homeless in your home town. If this is too humiliating, then don't act like a total hippy and/or bum. Try WWOOFing in your home town, it's fun, you get to work, get a little bit of money for luxuries (tobacco, ganja, booze, most times they'll provide these regardless). Just do the things you want to do, float the river, skateboard, bike, hike, fish, hunt, farm, play with legos, whatever. Do something that your parents will see is not bad. If they're afraid you're going to get killed, ask them to pay for a good martial arts class (check out a few places to decide your form of martial art) so you can know how to defend yourself, but rest assured, you probably won't need this while traveling, but it will boost your parents confidence in you. If they believe you have issues with substances, well they could imagine terrible stuff on the street and that really is out there, then make principals that you will follow (make it something you agree with, not something for them), and make it clear to them that this is what you do, not that other crap.

You are in control of this situation, not them, so control it, don't yell at them, don't get physical, this never works, be subtle, be effective, be positive, be like a rolling stone (not like dynamite). Sure you could live with your friends, but this can build tension. Learn to live like you're homeless, because then you will force yourself out of your comfort zone and to get in touch with survival instincts which you (maybe) never knew you had. Hell you can camp out in your parents yard, they'll think it's crazy, but let them know you're preparing for traveling because that's what you want to do and you will continue to be curious until you do.

Make it clear that you are not dropping out of college, simply making yourself a higher priority for the time being. You will learn new respect, new confidence, new knowledge and new insight to your own being, while traveling, that would take exponentially longer to learn at home. Let them to delay traveling will not only delay what you want to do, but it will also create a distraction to your education.
This should only take a couple/few weeks before they get a bit acclimated to you being a traveler, then you can start taking mini trips. Come back home just to show them cool souvenirs, tell them your stories (EVERY detail, even the drugs you did, if you don't want to tell them about the drugs you do, don't do the drugs that you don't want to talk about). They might act like they don't care, they might be thrilled, who knows, just tell them and tell them every minute detail (don't leave out the crazy axe murdering methed out drug dealer). If you leave out the parts that make them think/say "What happened? Shit! Be careful", then you're leaving out the parts that prove to them that the scary stuff won't kill you. Total honesty, don't edit your experiences for anybody, for any reason.

Most importantly:
KEEP IN TOUCH WITH THEM EVERY DAY. I know this can be hard to do, but make it a habit, otherwise they're going to worry about you. When I traveled for 3 months, I lost my cellphone and could rarely contact my folks, I traveled across country and hadn't talked to my folks in weeks. My dad, the least worrisome person I know, ex-hitchhiker, once was a climbing bum in Yosemite, WORRIED HIS ASS OFF! I'm my dad's best friend, I am his apprentice, his closest relative, his prodigy, the beholder of his legacy, I am his inspiration, and I didn't have the decency to borrow somebody's cell phone to call him every step of the way (payphone? PSH!! yea right!). My dad worried his ASS off about me, and he didn't have anywhere to turn to for comfort except the bar and the bottle. If you want to see your parents become a wreck, that will do it. If you love your parents, KEEP IN TOUCH WITH THEM EVERY DAY. I don't care if you have to borrow somebody's laptop at starbucks to send your mom a message on facebook, send them a post card in the mail, fax them, ANYTHING! This is THE MOST important thing to do while traveling (eating can wait, you parents won't eat for days if they don't here from you). Not calling parents is worse than leaving a dog locked in a car on a hot summer day. The dog will be rescued by any decent person, your parents can only be rescued by YOU.


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## kokomojoe (Jul 9, 2013)

Thanks for the advice everyone. I was talking to my dad about it and he offered to just drive out west, not exactly how I planned to travel but it should be good. Get to know each other a little better. I'm pretty excited and plan on hitting the rails on this regional rr near me for a short trip some time when we get back. Once again thank you all.


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## Charlie (Jul 10, 2013)

That's rad dude! Have fun on your trip. That's a great way to get your dad to approve of what you're about to do. If you come to Washington, look up Leavenworth, it's beautiful here and there's lots of outdoorsy things to do here. If you do come to Washington, let me know, I'm game to show you some sights and tell you some history.


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## kokomojoe (Jul 15, 2013)

just got back, definitely want to travel on my own and do my own shit but still saw a lot of cool places. Colorado's fucking beautiful and we also stopped in North Platte when going through Nebraska. I told them I'm moving out soon so once I get that taken care of it should be easier to start traveling on my own terms.


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## Earth (Jul 16, 2013)

Right On !!
This thread brings back something I had to deal with: telling my parents around twenty two or twenty three years ago how I was (now) a vegetarian...
I was already on my own, good job, really making it - and man, my parents totally freaked.
I basically told them that I was not going to change my mind on this, and that if they do not respect my wishes - that they would never see me again.

Funny, but it worked - and today me and my folks are tighter than ever.
(in fact, I'm at that age where I'm becoming more involved with taking care of them)

Where I am going with this is if you have something that's a part of you, that makes you who you are, you can't deny that - and it's important to let your folks know the truth.

Believe me, I did not tell my folks that I'd never see them again out of hate, I did it out of love.
I needed them to realize that for me, going the vegetarian route was something I really needed to do to make myself whole....

Do you have a good rapport with your folks, meaning can you be pretty much honest??
That helps too, and I actually think it's a good thing for parents to not totally understand the young folks (nothing disgusts me more than the so called hip or cool parent) because they can see things a little differently than you or me - and that provides perspective which one may or may not realize until much later on.....

Good luck man, sorry for rambling - heat's getting to me - hope you find what you are searching for, believe me - ain't no better feeling once you do


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## kokomojoe (Jul 30, 2013)

Didn't feel this was worth starting another thread over. Basically due to a whole clusterfuck of shit that's happened, my parents said that they were willing to pay for me to take whatever college classes I'm interested in. They told me I don't even have to choose a major. There really aren't any that I'm dying to get into but figured it'd be a wasted opportunity not to take something. And not to mention I'm kind of a piece of shit and owe it to my parents. I'm thinking of taking some technology courses since that might help me on the road somehow but what do you guys recommend?


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## EphemeralStick (Aug 11, 2013)

Hmmm, its hard to say. There are a lot of classes one would think would help but then in all actuality they really dont. Any sort of Political Science or Government class is always good bet but other than that I have nothing. You'll learn more useful skills for the road in a trade school than a college to be honest. Mechanic, Electric, EMT, Woodworking, that kind of stuff. 
Sucks to hear that you won't be hitting the road. But, You have to do what feels right by you and if staying is what feels right then thats what you should do.


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