# The Snake Whisperer (or potential murder)



## bluebadgerblue (Apr 11, 2017)

So, this was last month when we were camped neared Ehrenberg, AZ about a quarter mile from the Colorado river. We've made camp in a spot on a little dirt road that rapidly turns into an ATV trail and we like that because it means less traffic. 
So, we're minding our business in our little spot and bidding a fond farewell to a fellow nomad who lives in her van. Suddenly this dude comes walking through our site with a pillowcase tied around his head, talking to himself, walking not more than a few feet from us basically out of nowhere. Just emerged from the brush and power-walked through the middle of our site. (Red flag: #1)

"Well, that was fucking weird." 

Fast forward to the next day when Mystery Dude reappears in our site skulking around in the brush (Red Flag #2). We warn him quite explicitly that we've just discovered a large (and now very angry) rattlesnake in the brush he's standing in. He assures us that he's from Texas and can deal with snakes. He then proceeds to tell us about how he has this super-sweet brand new truck, a wife, and kids all at "that campsite just up the road from here". Also tells us in quick succession about how much money he makes, that he's an ex-Marine, and that he didn't want to be here anyway but the wife wanted to (Red Flags #3-7). More drawling and he wanders off again.

Later we leave the camp to get some groceries and see him wandering around the side of the road with an empty bucket staring at the ground and still apparently muttering to himself. (Red Flag #8)

We keep expecting to hear kids as he's indicated that he's camped quite close to us and claimed his kids were both under 4. We never do. (Red Flag #9-10)

Next day, around noon, I peek out the door and notice Mystery Dude in the brush just outside our site again. This time he's shirtless with a motherfucking throw blanket (like the woven kind with the fringe that you'd find on your grandma's couch) tied around his head, no shirt, absurd case of sunburn, massive parang-style machete in one hand, and a long stick in the other. And he's creeping around in the brush where we generally assume we have some slight amount of privacy for bathroom functions so i'm kinda irritated.

Me: "Hey, what's the deal?"

Mystery Dude: "I'm hunting me some rattlesnakes. Already got me three back at the camp."

Me: "Uh, yeah. Okay. Well, at least they're tasty to eat."

Mystery Dude: "You can eat them, you know."

Me: "Yeah, i know. I've eaten them before. They're tasty fried."

Mystery Dude: "You can fry them and they're pretty good eating."

Me: *wondering why we're having two separate conversations about the same thing* "
"Yeah, thanks for letting me know."

Mystery Dude: "I'm from Texas and we eat them all the time."

Me: *Baffled silence* (Red Flags #11-15 are waving heartily)

Eventually he wandered off to play Texas Tarzan elsewhere. 

We see him wandering past our camp several times in various stages of sunburn and puzzling attire. (Red Flags #16-17)

Next day he appears in our camp again. He claims that his fancy new truck (which he makes a point of telling us is already paid off completely) has gotten stuck in some soft sand because his wife wanted to move camp. (Red Flag #18) While he was figuring out how to get unstuck his wife left some appliance on and the truck battery is dead. (Red Flag #19) He asks me to come give him a jump with my truck. Just me. (Red Flag #20) Or my wife. (Red Flag #21) No need for both of us to come. (Red Flag #22) Just one. (Red Flag #23) When I tell him i don't have jumper cables he asks me to just come have a look at the situation and see what i think. (Red Flag #24) I tell him i can't because i have to make dinner. Eventually he gives up and wanders off after asking me for weed, cigarettes and beer (which i don't have any of.) 
A short while later a truck fitting the description he repeatedly gave is seen driving out of the area he said he was camped in.......but with no camping gear, no truck camper, no woman and no kids. 
Can't help but suspect he was shady as fuck and potentially a murderer or at least just severely delusional and/or bad at flirting to the point of getting himself shot.

with: @wickedwench


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## Dmac (Apr 11, 2017)

Camping without cigs, beer and weed? That's not camping, it's just sleeping outside! lol Seriously that is shady as fuck! I'd have told him to get lost after the 2nd time I found him messing around the camp. Did you try and get a photo of him (just in case)? I have done this. on occasion, when someone seems sketchy to me, or of a licence plate if I see one repeatedly cruising the area. Glad you are OK, many folks would have moved after finding creepy dudes in bushes just outside of their camp. Stay safe.


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## todd (Apr 11, 2017)

serious mental issues there. people like that scare the shit outta me, I never can judge what's going through their head and that makes me nervous.
glad you two are ok.


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## Tude (Apr 11, 2017)

Great write-up and glad you are safe!


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## Ori (Apr 11, 2017)

Holy shit, dude.. you are ballsy! I would've been out many red flags ago! I assume if he fucked with your kid though, there might be another potential murderer added to this story..


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## bluebadgerblue (Apr 11, 2017)

We're pretty heavily-armed for travelers and he would have been in for a few nasty surprises had he attempted anything beyond what he did.


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## bluebadgerblue (Apr 11, 2017)

Dmac said:


> Camping without cigs, beer and weed? That's not camping, it's just sleeping outside! lol Seriously that is shady as fuck! I'd have told him to get lost after the 2nd time I found him messing around the camp. Did you try and get a photo of him (just in case)? I have done this. on occasion, when someone seems sketchy to me, or of a licence plate if I see one repeatedly cruising the area. Glad you are OK, many folks would have moved after finding creepy dudes in bushes just outside of their camp. Stay safe.



Well, weed gives me migraines, I quit smoking years ago, and I wasn't going to share my beer with that creep. ;-).


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## spectacular (Apr 11, 2017)

Really scary sounding guy.. would've hated to be alone and more easily intimidated by that type.


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## Desperado Deluxe (Apr 12, 2017)

Sounds like you had yourself an encounter with a tweaker.


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## xpolx (Jun 4, 2017)

Hectic, glad you got out of it ok  those kind of situations always leave me feeling really hypervigilant for awhile


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