Help me decide wtf to do with my life

[autumn]

i definitely understand what you're saying, and a few others have suggested the same. maybe its something i forgot to mention in the OP, or maybe it's something that's happened since i started this thread (i'd have to re-read it) but one of the things i've discovered in the past year is that first, i don't like programming, and second, i've been doing web design in one capacity or another for basically my whole life, and frankly i'm bored to tears of it. some might say to just power through it for the money, but i just can't dedicate so much time to something i'm not really all that passionate about (anymore, when i was younger i was all about it i guess).

i actually still have one client i do (freelance) website work for, and that brings me about 200 extra dollars a month, which is nice, and i don't mind doing it all that much since it's an interesting website and he's a friend of mine.

what i am going to do though is try and switch over careers and move towards doing graphic design and desktop publishing type stuff. it's kinda hard to switch fields like that but i'm taking online courses to re-acquaint myself with illustrator and things like that, and overall i feel like doing that kind of stuff freelance would be a lot more fulfilling than doing website code. i don't think i'll be able to do it professionally for a while but i don't mind working a few crap jobs in the meantime since at least i'm moving in the right direction now.

The same thing happened to me. I'm no longer interested in programming really, I was extremely passionate about it for ten or so years, but at some point, it lost it's appeal. I don't even have the willpower to power through programming work I don't want to do. Every now and then I get an itch or an idea, but they're far and few between. I used to be glued to a computer as often as possible, always working on something.

It sounds like you went through something similar. I'm glad to hear you have some idea of what you want. Oddly enough, but you probably already know, I've always felt some elevated sense of comraderie with you since we're both techies, and you're the only other programmer I've encountered in the travelling community. That passionate obsession probably contributed to your/my losing interest in it. Sometimes I wonder if I'll regain my passion for it at some point far in the future, when I've lost all of my skill. It's a pretty pointless what-if but it's probably something that's gone through your mind. I'm happier having dropped it and concerning myself with other things I enjoy.

Do whatever is going to make you happy.

I wish I had good advice or the perfect words, but all I can offer is empathy.

 

[Mankini]

If i knew anything about computers i'd smite the system and have fun doing it. What would Juilan Assange do?

 

[Matt Derrick]

If i knew anything about computers i'd smite the system and have fun doing it. What would Juilan Assange do?

funny you say that, cause when i was younger that's all i wanted to do was be a grey/black hat hacker. read all the zines, listened to the podcasts, went to hacker conventions, etc... but that was back when i was just happy to tinker with computers and make them do things. these days i'm more into creating some kind of art with them (mostly through making videos).

The same thing happened to me. I'm no longer interested in programming really, I was extremely passionate about it for ten or so years, but at some point, it lost it's appeal. I don't even have the willpower to power through programming work I don't want to do. Every now and then I get an itch or an idea, but they're far and few between. I used to be glued to a computer as often as possible, always working on something.

It sounds like you went through something similar. I'm glad to hear you have some idea of what you want. Oddly enough, but you probably already know, I've always felt some elevated sense of comraderie with you since we're both techies, and you're the only other programmer I've encountered in the travelling community. That passionate obsession probably contributed to your/my losing interest in it. Sometimes I wonder if I'll regain my passion for it at some point far in the future, when I've lost all of my skill. It's a pretty pointless what-if but it's probably something that's gone through your mind. I'm happier having dropped it and concerning myself with other things I enjoy.

Do whatever is going to make you happy.

I wish I had good advice or the perfect words, but all I can offer is empathy.

people change as they go through life, i'm just at a different stage than i was previously. also, i sympathize with no being able to find other people interested in computery nerd stuff in the travel scene, unless maybe you get into the whole digital nomad thing.

if you had any interest in working on StP at the server level or just doing admin things for the forum, i could definitely use an admin here as i'm trying to focus on videos for the time being.

 

[Mankini]

Anon. talks a good game, and they do little pranks here and there like taunting Daesh, or exposing ruffians. But heres an ethical dilemma: if you have the power to freeze assets or effect DNS on wrongdoers like Assad, IMF, World Bank, Dick Cheney, Booz Allen Hamilton, etc., is it not an obligation to do just that?

 

[Matt Derrick]

Anon. talks a good game, and they do little pranks here and there like taunting Daesh, or exposing ruffians. But heres an ethical dilemma: if you have the power to freeze assets or effect DNS on wrongdoers like Assad, IMF, World Bank, Dick Cheney, Booz Allen Hamilton, etc., is it not an obligation to do just that?

that's a debate for another thread entirely.

 

[autumn]

funny you say that, cause when i was younger that's all i wanted to do was be a grey/black hat hacker. read all the zines, listened to the podcasts, went to hacker conventions, etc... but that was back when i was just happy to tinker with computers and make them do things. these days i'm more into creating some kind of art with them (mostly through making videos).

Hahaha me too. The only thing I ever really managed to do was be a little douchebag though.

people change as they go through life, i'm just at a different stage than i was previously. also, i sympathize with no being able to find other people interested in computery nerd stuff in the travel scene, unless maybe you get into the whole digital nomad thing.

if you had any interest in working on StP at the server level or just doing admin things for the forum, i could definitely use an admin here as i'm trying to focus on videos for the time being.

The whole digital nomad thing always seemed to be a way to maintain a conventional way of traveling (planes, hotels, etc) by doing shit tons of remote work. Not really the sort of people I'd go out of my way to find. I could be totally wrong though, it's been a while since I looked.

I'd be happy to help out with what I can. What admin duties do you want someone else to take over? And what server-level work needs to be done besides the chat freezing?

 

[Matt Derrick]

Hahaha me too. The only thing I ever really managed to do was be a little douchebag though.



The whole digital nomad thing always seemed to be a way to maintain a conventional way of traveling (planes, hotels, etc) by doing shit tons of remote work. Not really the sort of people I'd go out of my way to find. I could be totally wrong though, it's been a while since I looked.

I'd be happy to help out with what I can. What admin duties do you want someone else to take over? And what server-level work needs to be done besides the chat freezing?

i'll send you a pm.

 

[Zak]

When I came to Los Angeles it was supposed to be a quick stop on my way to elsewhere. I met a girl and got married instead. Joined the Navy just to get the fuck out, ended up in NOLA, and then fucked that gig up well and proper just because I'm not really a shut up and take orders type. The good news is, it didn't crush my soul, just fucked up my back, (and quick answer to the looming question about Benefits- is I wasn't in long enough to get said benefits...like I said, I fucked up good and proper), moving on, what has crushed my soul has been moving back to Los Angeles, staying there for the past 6 years, drinking myself to psychotic oblivion and fucking up my marriage just because I cannot stand my life as is. The only time I was ever happy in my life was when I was on the road. Now I'm in that place where I'm used to the routine, the norm, the work, the job, waking up, walking my dog, sitting on my ass all day in an office because I'm terrified to do physical labor, (which I love) because IF my back goes out I'm fucked 7 ways from Sunday.

I thought it was the right thing to do. I was buying in. I was gonna have the wife, and do her right and have the family I never had growing up, etc. etc. etc.

What it really turned out to be was something similar to a meat-grinder, and there's not much of ME left on the other end.

So I found this site, I found YOU, @Matt Derrick and I'm starting to find that little piece that's been missing. How romantic! It's meant to be! Wait...that's what got me into trouble in the first place...
It's a strange world where you become a Fuck Up by doing what you're "SUPPOSED" to do.

I guess the Moral of the story is this, as William S. Burroughs said "First Thought, Best Thought". There is no substitute for being who you are. The disease is NOT being true to yourself.

I'm 32 and I've almost Killed myself to be what I'm not. I'm slowly recovering, hopefully, recovering and I'll be on the road one day soon.

Learn from this mistake.

 

[Phranque Trayne]

Matt,

Did not know where to put this so here it goes. I admire what you have done with STP. If you are still up in the air about what's next or where to relocate, this little note has some valid things to think about.

Seven U.S. states currently don't have an income tax: Alaska, Florida, Nevada, South Dakota, Texas, Washington and Wyoming. And residents of New Hampshire and Tennessee are also spared from handing over an extra chunk of their paycheck on April 15, though they do pay tax on dividends and income from investments. (!!)

Also Oregon has zero sales tax and low property rates although it does have income tax.

IMHO, having a home base paid for gives me more freedom. I don't have to worry about where I can safely rest up. I rent my place when I am at sea.

Whatever you do I hope you do more vids and film along with it. Good stuff and it sounds like it feeds you on some levels.

Phranque


Sent from my iPhone using the Squat the Planet mobile app!

 

[Garminbozia]

@matt Hey dude. I'm in a similar situation. The way I see it is that if I get a place of my own, a cheap house, and pay it off as soon as possible, I would have a place of stability and could check that off the list. So if/when the time comes to settle down I can. With it being cheap and paid off I could still travel around and not be stuck somewhere. Have you considered a route like that? Buying a cheap place for when the time comes? Also, have you ever considered making a documentary? You are well known in this community and people will trust you. That gives you a lot of oppurtunity to be able to document the squaters life. Sure, you'd need a compelling theme but once you have that, bam! You're set. It doesn't have to be an invasive documentary, seeing that documentaries tend to be "revealing" either. The theme could simply be "life of a nomad". The things we do, see, and experience are interesting enough. And you can make it and sell it. Maybe even create some kind of fund raiser with it for other nomads. And, we tend to see life differently than those who would never travel, so insight we can give could be compelling aswell. And for another idea, have you ever thought about getting into graphic design? You can make websites for a living!