Help me decide wtf to do with my life

[milkhauler]

Heres what I did. I was working construction at Temps while living in the woodz, after deciding that paying exorbitant amounts for rent and bills was foolhardy and futile. But then I discovered online college courses: sign up, sign up for student loans, and youre set! I immediately went to Belgium, then all over Western Europe. All you gotta do with online courses is stay fairly close to wifi so you can submit assignments once or twice a week.

Okay the bus thing is another great idea. Why? No rent; move when you want to; go where you want to when you want to. Women? Women love FREE men-that is why owning a motorcycle, having long hair, and playing guitar/singing are the 3 most important things sometimes. Yes, many want Ward Cleaver/suburbs/middle class existence/minivans. But many are free themselves and want a fellow free person.

And last but not least, sometimes building something of substance draws others. Don't think small: think grandiose! Fill the bus with likeminded people. Move here; move there. In the beginning tribes and chiefs moved around and cultures were founded. Cultures.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merry_Pranksters


Romanticism was for pirates. adventurers. Marco Polo. Arctic explorers. Astronauts.

It is not for humdrum strip mall America.

Not to jack Matt's thread, but I feel ya. I've been living in my big rig for the last 18 months. Its a company trk and my boss is cool my situation. At the terminal I have my own room, wifi, shower, and they leave the ac on 24-7. All free of charge. The perks balance out the shit pay.

I will sleep under a bridge before I go back to being a bill slave. Fuck landlords and greedy creditors. I believe in a creator and thus believe we were all created to be free. When you have a stack of bills, those creaditors own a certain percentage of your freedom.

Sent From The Future

 

[Ande1968]

Join a harvest crew, 6 years ago I walked out of a fortune 50 company, Joined a harvesting company and that allowed me to focus on me for awhile, no decisions just drove a combine for 5 month and harvested farmers fields across the belt all the way into Canada, was prepping for the Australian harvest next. If your experienced they need operators and pay your travel, pay your food, pay your housing you can bank every bit of it and have cash to do whatever with.

Even have an opportunity to go to Aussieland.

First thing I have to ask is do you have a passport, if your planning and want to do something you have to prepare. No passport no Aussieland, no Canada, no Mexico. I know folks arer going to comment and say bullshit, I say okay risk it, walking across the border is one thing. Booking a flight to Autralia you can not do without a passport.

Rubber tramping in a bus/van/rv doesn't matter it's all the same. You need fuel, Insurance and tags/inspections. Plus the proverbial holy shit moment of a breakdown.

If you want more you have to plan it out and make the call. This is where I think all of us part ways we want to do something new and different however we have to fund it. Please tell me you have monetized this site in some manner and you are not just taking donations?

Please tell me that others on this site understand when you do travel and leave this site that it will not run itself?
This is a fantastic site and it is wonderful to join and communicate with others this is a resource that will be used for years to come. if someone does not maintain it with your passion it will not survive. You know this.
Are you sure this is not what you were meant for, to build this environment and take it to the next level.
Please tell me you have a plan.

 

[Ande1968]

By the way a combine driver can make 3K a month for a 6 month season.

 

[Mankini]

Timothy Leary was a hero and great man in my estimation: However, he suffered bouts of self doubt and existential angst like any other person:

"[I was] ...an anonymous institutional employee who drove to work each morning in a long line of commuter cars and drove home each night and drank martinis ... like several million middle-class, liberal, intellectual robots."

 

[Deleted member 13433]

Matt, I've jumped from your initial post straight to here, so sincere appologizes if this has already been brought up.

If you want to live on the road - or I should say - if I had wanted to live on the road and travel - I would have gotten my tractor trailer license and somehow bought a tractor with a sleeper cab [I know, they ain't exactly cheap] and then get paid to travel while hauling trailers cross country - or where ever....

Since it would be your tractor, you could set up up as you like.

Now, on the other hand, I have a friend who driver big rigs - but does not own his tractor, but he still loves being out on the road, not too mention that if he breaks down - the company takes care of him.

Truck drivers do a tremendous service - as do rail operators.
They transport our goods, food, etc......

Matt, if you are still being pressured to "get a real job", I'd consider if being a long distance truck driver would suit your needs.

By the way - and this goes for everyone - don't think that getting that great job and home etc.... is going to make you a happy camper.

As a friend once told me - actually, she mused about it here on STP - her parents pretty much forced [maybe that'snot the right word] her to go to school to get a real job, then she found out she needed a real job to pay her loans, and was not really any better or worse - actually I'd say worse - because she lost her freedom.

I wanted to get a good secure job - so I could build a killer recording studio, which I did... all tape based.

I spent well over 25 years getting it together.

I'm now well past my sell by date, and all I can think about is selling/giving everything away, having some one drive my canoe [that's on a trailer] packed with my gear, way way up north - where I can live a very simple life completely free of the so called modern ways of living.

So I'd go the truck driver route.

You get to travel, do good, and even make a little money and have a roof over your head that's completely mobile - and legal.

 

[FlyingTomato]

I apologize, I also just sort of skipped to the end and wrote down what I was thinking.

I think it's cool you posted this. I feel like you're sort of hitting on a concern a lot of us have. I know how you feel.. My parents feel the same way about me and my choices. At times I worry that perhaps they're right, and then I have a serious inner conflict because their advice is good for achieving the kind of life they live, and that's not the kind of life I want. I've done both. I've traveled for over a year and I've gotten myself a big girl desk job and I always come down on the side of being more content traveling. It's that same effect people describe when they hike for extended periods of time. Removing yourself from the day-to-day obscurities of normal life validates what is truly important to you. We are all very different on here, but I think one thing that really brings us together is the idea that life as it's being offered to us, (by our parents, corporations, the media, so on...) is not something we can accept for whatever reasons, (mental health, intolerance of gender, inability to peaceably exist in that oppressive framework, so on...). Sometimes being the only one flying a freak flag in town gets lonely, but never let it go. It will give you something to look forward to and in my experience, it gives others like you encouragement. Life should be a little crusty. Messy is good for creativity and innovation. I found especially when I've been settled somewhere for awhile, I feel the world pushing back against me and my ways, suffocated by passive-aggressive emails, stuffy office relations and useless cog in the work force expectations. The people I meet like me are like lights guiding the way. When I find another traveler I find ease and peace again and I feel like I can be myself. Even if I don't know them, I know we share something fundamentally important.

My thoughts regarding what you should do next: (I realize you have a lot more experience than I do, so I apologize if some of this is fairly obvious to you.)
1. No way. For all the reasons above and so many more.
2. This sounds like a great plan, but a little safe and time consuming. I think you should totally do it, but maybe at a later time when you can spare more patience and are less conflicted about it. It will take time to save money, time to renovate, and then you'll pretty much be stuck driving around the US, which you've said isn't appealing to you at the moment. Also, considering all the other great ideas you have, (Europe, the Mississippi River) I think those should come first. Being tied to a van is sometimes a little cumbersome.
3. This sounds like a really freakin cool idea! If you can make it to save up the money, you should do this. Spending some time abroad will give you some new ideas, new supporters, and will just be plain fun. Sometimes we all get grounded for awhile while we save up for the next adventure. It's hard, but I haven't ever had a subsequent adventure that wasn't worth the wait.
4. This also sounds like a cool idea, I'd probably choose this if you can't save the funds to go to Australia. I'm all about the bike touring anarchist filming idea and it might give you something new to go on. Should you choose this option, I am in Southern California and would be happy to hang out/explore with you anytime, (Also planning to be down at the Slabs for the Jambo)!

You seem pretty intelligent and resourceful. I don't think you'll ever get "stuck" being homeless if you don't want to be. It seems like the normal world tries to fill our heads with worries about living a counter life style to deter us from starting or committing, but should we ever come crawling back we are reabsorbed and neutralized again pretty quick. That's kind of an issue I worry about sometimes too, but I realize that truly great things are never achieved standing on solid ground. Shaky ground has more character and makes for better stories anyway. You shouldn't be so worried about accomplishments. Taoists believe it is the journey, not the marked achievement that generates fulfillment. If when you travel you like your journey, that is the answer. That being said, what you do here is a HUGE accomplishment for this community, and I'm sure we are all very grateful to you for it (I know I am). Anyway...hope at least some of that helped a little....

 

[JamesPrice94]

I am going through the same indecisions about life, and the fact that what I want seems so different from everyone else, especially parents/family. Surprisingly I read a book called "zorba the greek" and it helped me calm my over thinking and analyzing mind. Maybe check it out if you got free time, its an entertaining read. As for your options, I'd say number 4 sounds pretty good to me. Maybe give yourself a deadline, like 48hours to think about it more, write down pro/cons of your options then chose and stick to the option you've determined is beat at the point?

 

[Matt Derrick]

so i was feeling a little bit lost again today, and i was going to post another one of these threads, but I went back to this one and read some of the responses that I somehow missed (@FlyingTomato you were especially helpful thank you!) and I decided to just post an update and how I'm feeling about things right now.

life is always changing, so i'll start with what's different since my initial post. i decided to go with option #4, go to the slabs, hang out, do the jamboree, and write my book. this idea made me the happiest picturing it, and it was also the one that cost me the least amount of money.

i talked to my parents and let them know what my plans were, and they were pretty good about it. in a way they've come to accept that i'm not going to have the exact life they thought/hoped i would in terms of career, but that they would be happier if they knew I had some kind of plan or financial security. so my dad has been pushing the online learning angle, specifically towards linux sysadmin stuff since there's a few different programs that are cheap and give a good education in that field.

at first i was okay with that, as long as i could put it off until after i finished my book, and that seemed to work for my dad at least. actually, once i started talking about the book he really seemed to get into the idea and wants me to come out for xmas (in washington) so he can help me market my book (he knows a lot about that kind of stuff) but that it would take about 2 months at least to go through that whole process.

now i know logically that i should jump at the opportunity to live with free room and board, and i know my dad knows a lot of things that would help my book quite a bit, and that it would also make my mother happy (to have me around) but the idea of going back there is immensely depressing to me. i left their house about nine months ago, and i still feel like i just left.

not to mention that i literally gained 30 lbs staying there for a year (it was originally only supposed to me a few weeks or a month) and nearly lost my damn mind from the isolation of where they live (i don't have any friends there, and it's remote enough that there's nothing to do). so the thought of going back there terrifies me, because i know the kinds of bad habits i develop there (sitting around a lot, eating bad food, not doing anything productive). basically all the bad things i'm trying to train out of myself right now.

my parents aren't bad people, they just live a life of quiet sedentarism that they think is great (they're retired), but is quite possibly the worst environment ever for someone that's trying to lose weight, get healthy and do more with their life.

so... the other option i've been considering (keep in mind all this is AFTER the jambo) is taking some time off, writing my book, and doing some long distance bike touring.

it's funny how writing things out helps sometimes. i'm pretty sure i'm not going to go to my parent's house but rather bike to new orleans instead. i've been wanting to do a bike tour somewhere that doesn't suck for a long time now, and biking has always been my favorite form of exercise. I've also be really struggling with my diet and trying to be healthier this year.

to make things worse, i went to the hospital (on my fucking birthday of all days) because i woke up with a lot of weird abdominal pain and a LOT of blood in my poop. the blood in my poop/shit/stool/whatever thing had been going on for about a week and had happened a few times throughout my life, but never this bad before, so i went to the ER. they basically said i'm okay, but probably have some internal hemorrhoids that are causing intestinal bleeding.

fortunately, that sounds a lot worse than it is. long story short, it was being caused by a lifetime of sitting on my ass working in front of computers nearly 24/7. so now i have to seriously start looking at changing an entire lifetime of bad habits. eating garbage (pizza and ice cream) and sitting around on the computer waaaay damn too much.

so now i'm looking at having to completely change my life around, and ironically the career that i think my parents would like me to have (because frankly, i'm good at it) is possibly the worst thing i can do to myself right now.

also, i'm terrible at the exercise thing (i'm currently doing a lot of reading on what to eat and how to exercise). it's something im going to get better at, but in the meantime, i do love biking, so i think it's time to combine my love of travel, with biking, for the sake of my own health. every time i've been skinny in my life (there's only been about 4-5 times) it was because i was working as a bike messenger, or bike delivery, or for some other reason biking all the damn time because i loved it.

so as of this moment, i'm still going to the stp jambo, and i think im going to go to nola after that. but who knows. i'll i can think about right now is getting the hell out of austin and quitting my job.

apologize for the ramblyness of this post....

 

[Matt Derrick]

15 more days until i quit my job...

 

[EphemeralStick]

I say go for the long distance touring. At the end of all this you need to to do what makes you the most happy. Plus if you are wanting to get healthy and stay healthy doing so touring will most definitely get you the results you're looking for. Just remember not to over do it!

 

[Deleted member 14481]

Your post makes clear of what makes you happy. I don't see what the point of living life is if you can't live it happily, the way you want. People are so interested in the slavery of the "mainstream" lifestyle, and it's thee most convenient thing to do, but convenient doesn't mean fulfilling. There will always be money to make. There will always be places to stay. Theie will only be one you in this life. You're the one you, right now.

Also, consider the source of your suggestions. If you wouldn't follow advice from a random person off the street don't do it with people that you know. They may know as much about you as that random person - and I mean that as in what's in your heart... your soul.

Just keep on doing.
What you're doing.
Until you can't do what you're doing anymore!

All that feeling stuff aside I can only suggest trucker, sponsored bike-touring, or living off donations. Developing a traveling trade: Something more consistent than busking that you would make a reputation from, like, a traveling repair person. or something. You'll need a truck or van for that, though. A traveling tradesperson is a "spent money to make money" sword.​

 

[vantramp2016]

So, I don't often ask StP for advice (on non-website matters), I'm not sure why. I could really use some input right now though, since I really feel like i've been plagued by indecision for several months now.

As some of you know I've been working and living in Austin, Texas for the past six months now. Before that I was stuck at my parent's house in washington state for just over a year. So, I haven't really been traveling much in the past two years.

I'm going to be turning 36 soon. My parents keep bugging me about getting a 'real job' and a house/home/apartment and basically some sense of security. I know they're just looking out for me, but it drives me crazy sometimes, since subliminally it's really put a lot of pressure on me and i feel like i'm starting to crack a little. Mostly because of the fear that they might be right?

I don't want to be homeless the rest of my life, and I don't want to be a home bum under some bridge either. Also, I don't want to be that old guy that works at McDonalds. Now, I realize that I'm probably too smart to end up like any of those people, but once my parents started bringing up the fact that i'll be 40 soon (ish) it really started to bug me.

That said, I also don't ever want to stop traveling either. The past year and a half has been hell for me on my worst days, which is why i handed over stp to tude temporarily back in november. I feel like when I'm separated from the traveler / punk / anarcho community i start to lose my mind a little. Besides StP, i really haven't felt that kind of connection in several years.

This has mostly been my own fault, since once i got the idea to do a youtube show about traveling the way we do, i spent several years sacrificing friendships and all kinds of stuff just to go work somewhere to raise money and always come up short in being able to afford the project i wanted to do.

I've finally given up on that idea and moved on to things i will probably have a better chance at achieving, but i still get plagued by indecision almost ever day. this always seems to happen about 6 months in, when i'm somewhere trying to 'temporarily settle down' (aka save up money), and i feel like my disconnect from the travel / anarcho world leads to this weird state of bipolar disorder where i can't control what my life goals are going to be on a daily basis.

one day i'm utterly convinced that saving up for a school bus / short bus / camper van is the way to go, the next it's a terrible idea and i should save up for going to australia, the next im convinced that i should buy a camera and bike across the usa. i feel like i could just classify myself as 'flighty' if it was a new idea every day, but overall it becomes a non-stop cycle of 3-4 core ideas, which makes it much more maddening.

the fucked up part is that when i'm not working or staying in one place, when i'm on the road everything feels 100% clear to me and these bouts of biopolar disorder don't seem to come around anymore. it's only when i'm stuck in one place (usually through my own doing) that i start to cycle through all these ideas for my life over and over and over like an echo chamber, until i feel like my head is going to pop. the fact that i can't seem to make a descision on one particular path in life and stick to it drives me nuts, and leads to me not really doing anything at all, since i'm essentially 'frozen' with indecision, like a deer caught in headlights.

i feel like this is all pretty vague at this point, so if you'll bear with me i'm going to list the ideas i have going on in my head.

1. giving up on travel life and getting a 'real' job. this is the please my parent's / play it safe option. i only put this here half-jokingly. given my propensity for wandering i know this would never work out.
   
   
2. staying in austin and working to save up for a van / bus to live in. at my current (part time) job, i'm guessing it would take me until at least the end of the year to save enough money for a decent vehicle and fix it up / renovate it.
   
   
3. staying in austin to save up enough money to go travel around australia. again, this would probably take until the end of the year to accomplish. in some ways i've gotten really bored with the usa, so it would really help to get out of the country and go somewhere i'm really interested in. it's highly debatable whether i could make it that long in austin given my current state, but if i was really determined, i might be able to pull it off.
   
   
4. leaving austin in september to go to the slabs. i'd take my bike with me and bike around southern california for the winter. there's a bunch of stuff i want to see in los angeles before i completely write it off for good. if i get bored of the slabs i could bike out to LA and back, check out some stuff around the salton sea; maybe just relax and forget about things and not worry so much. i'd buy a really nice camera before i left austin to document things and work on my photography. come spring i'd probably bike to new orleans. after that, who knows, i want to travel and document abandoned places while also interviewing anarchists / travelers about their lives and ideals.

All of these options would include working on the book for stp ive always wanted to write (my goal is to finish it by the end of the year), and bringing back the stp podcast. I think the podcast would be more interesting if i was traveling and interviewing people on the road though.

Other random ideas: I'd really like to travel around the UK/Europe and interview squatters and take pictures of their squats. I think this is something I would have to save for next year though. Lastly, i still dream of building a raft and boating down the mississippi, but again that would have to be next year (due to timing with the weather).

If you asked me today what i want to do with my life, I'd say spend the next 3-4 months saving money and go out to slab city in september (option 4). maybe after that biking to new orleans and working a little to save up for going to the uk. why the uk instead of my 'top' pick of australia? mainly because it's cheap to get there and i could possibly knock out random idea #1.

of course, yesterday i wanted to buy a conversion van.

anyways, it definitely helps to write this all out, it's pretty therapeutic, and makes me think that maybe #4 is the way to go, but I'd like to hear your opinions on it. what should i do?

also, i know i probably shouldn't be stressing so much, but it's just hard when you have all kinds of things running through your head and no one to bounce them off of. so if you made it through all this thank you!

please explain how a house or an apt is a sense of security?? if you don't pay the rent you get evicted and if you don't pay the mortgage on the home then the banks forecloses on you same with your property taxes the gubberment will sell your house.. id'e rather be mobile in a van that's paid in full and just pay the registration and insurance.. and personaly i wouldn't want to be stationary!!

 

[Grubblin]

I skimmed through most of the posts and there was some pretty good advice. I didn't read them all so if I repeat something that someone said without giving credit I apologize.

I'm new here and I won't be traveling full time until my current seasonal is over in August so I've only posted on a few things that I've experienced up until this point in my life. I have a few things to mention and I'll try not to turn it into a book.

First is age. The cliche is that you are only as old as you feel and I've found that to be completely true. Don't rush into settling down bc you're 40ish. Yes, most of the women are married and/or have kids now but in a few years (if not now), those same women will be divorced and available, the kids will be grown. Typically these women will know more of exactly what they're looking for because of learning from all of their previous life experiences along the way. Since you'll know more of who you're looking for (for the same reason) then you're more likely to spend less time on women that are incompatible with you and more time with women that you can make a real connection with. So dating and/or relationships tend to get better later in life once you both know yourselves better. Don't rush into any relationship bc either you, your parents, or society thinks that you're "too old for that".

Second, indecision will make the bipolar worse. Years ago I read (I forget the source so take this for what it's worth) that human beings spend up to and over seventy five percent of their thought process trying to rationalize their decisions. The article went on to say that we can rationalize almost anything that we want and that most rationalization is bullshit, it's mostly about desire. If you keep going back and forth on everything it will lead to fear, if it hasn't already, and fear will lead to inaction and more indecision. It's a vicious cycle and the only victim will be you. Most everyone is their own worst enemy or at least the gray matter between your ears is your own worst enemy. Try to pick something and then do it without trying to overthink it. I too tend to overthink the Hell out of everything so I've just started to go with it and make the best out of whatever happens. For me, any course of action is better than sitting around trying to decide on a course of action. That's me though and I spent years getting to that point in life.

Third, this is probably the most important, is the bipolar. I believe that you said the bipolar tends to disappear when you're out on the road. So my question is why do you have to make the decision when you're housed? Get out on the road. Take a short trip with your bike to wherever you want to go. Plan on something like a month to get away from it all and make your decision out there. Don't wait until the Slabs to go if possible, plan to the trip specifically to decide what to do. That way you won't have the external influences of your family, your friends, and fellow travelers in your ear giving their opinions on what you should and shouldn't do with your life. Remember, and this is very important, it's your life and you're the one that has to live with the consequences of your decisions and indecision. Shouldn't you make these decision when you're in the best possible state of mind? It seems as if you're best possible state of mind may not be under a roof but rather out there where you're free. Take the trip, clear your head, make your decision and come back to see the family before starting to travel full time, if that's what you decide to do. I would stick to whatever you decide to do when you're out there and not let anyone, including family, talk you out of it when you get back bc more than likely they'll try and you'll start to doubt yourself.

I won't use the cliche about opinions are like assholes bc I don't really believe in it. I found that most people have at least several different opinions about everything but only one asshole. Ultimately this decision and this life is yours, try to use your life wisely and don't be too hard on yourself if it doesn't work out exactly like you have it going in your mind, it never does, that's part of being human. Do remember that it costs us nothing to give you advice, and I believe that there are some truly good pieces of advice on this thread, but it costs you everything to take it.

In the end, the decision and the positive/negative consequences of that decision are yours so consider everything that everyone in your life has said, including here, and make the best possible decision for you. It sounds to me like you've been completely honest about yourself in every way with your posts but even with all that honesty no one can ever completely know you the way that you know you. That's because no one, including family and close personal friends, can know exactly what's going on inside your head at all times and every little factor that you're considering about how to carry on with your life.

You really have done a VERY great thing by creating and maintaining this website. If you ever doubt your ability to be awesome all you have to do is come back here and look at how many people you help every single day that this site is here. After you realize how many people that you help every day, ask yourself how many other people help so many other people, especially people who may going through a particularly difficult time in life and don't have much to give back except themselves, every single day? I would imagine that the answer to that question is not many. Thank you for keeping the site going, I know I'm new but I could instantly tell what a great resource this is on my first day of lurking.

I could go on but I said that I wouldn't write a book and apparently I lied, at least it's for what I consider a good reason this time. BEST OF LUCK!

 

[Deleted member 8978]

You could get thousands of dollars if your van got ran into by a careless driver. But I am not sure how trustworthy most attorneys are if you needed one. If your case was worth a lot, maybe you could upgrade to a motorhome or RV?

please explain how a house or an apt is a sense of security?? if you don't pay the rent you get evicted and if you don't pay the mortgage on the home then the banks forecloses on you same with your property taxes the gubberment will sell your house.. id'e rather be mobile in a van that's paid in full and just pay the registration and insurance.. and personaly i wouldn't want to be stationary!!

 

[Brother X]

Just sayin'.

 

[Vulture]

Australia. A change of scenery would help.

 

[Matt Derrick]

so, i'm kind of surprised how much of a revival this thread has gotten over the past few days, in addition to all the new advice and whatnot (which i definitely appreciate!) so i figured it's time to give an update for those who are curious how this all turned out.

i started this thread in june 2015. i stayed in austin until the end of september, then flew out to LA and took a bus out to the slabs for the jamboree. I shipped my bike to my parent's house in washington and didn't do the biking around socal thing i was talking about in my original post. After the jambo I went to my parents house mostly to visit my family for xmas and take a minute to figure out what to do next.

long story short, i decided to go back to austin and save up money for a van. unfortunately i bought a lemon of a short bus on ebay and couldn't even get it back to austin (from amarillo, tx; about 500 miles) so i ended up junking it. i spent the next month (this is around feb 2016) being pretty fucking depressed about my savings being wiped out on the account of some dishonest asshole, but eventually got over it (it's just money, right?) and decided to move on.

now the conclusion to all this is that what i ended up doing with my life is a weird combination of all the things i listed in my OP.

i decided to stop putting off what i love doing (traveling) in order to save up money for goals that were just way to lofty and out of reach (for me at least). this included saving up for a vehicle (i know others do it easily but i just never seemed to work for me) and other ideas i had that required a lot of money.

what i *did* decide to do (and this is probably the best decision i've made this year) is to take a look at the resources i have available that would enable me to travel RIGHT NOW. for me, that answer was to simply bike everywhere. i already have a decent touring bike and I already have a lot of the gear i'd need for a bike tour (tent, sleeping bag, saddlebags) so my 'start up' costs would be minimal and not require much money.

biking also has the benefits of costing virtually nothing (unlike a car with gas, insurance, maintenance, etc) and also enables the maximum amount of freedom possible (i.e. not depending on people to pick me up, i can go almost anywhere and change my mind whenever i want, etc). this also will help me lose weight since i've gained quite a bit since 2012.

i also realized that despite the fact that it takes a long time to go long distances on a bike, id rather be going somewhere at a slow pace than going nowhere trying to save up for travels that may never come to fruition.

so, what about the future, and getting old and all that previous junk i was worried about? once i got things back into perspective, i started to remember how little age tends to matter to me (it only seems to matter to other people?). I mean, i sure as hell don't feel like i'm 36 (most wouldn't guess i'm that old) so why should i care what the hell society thinks? fuck it, i figure i have at least another decade (minimum) of good health ahead of me so i really shouldn't be so concerned about the safety and security society tries so hard to sell us all on.

so where i'm at now is that in two months i will be embarking on a bike trip down the west coast, ending in the slabs for the jamboree. after that i'm finishing my book, and after that who the fuck knows? and i'm okay with that. for me, the future just isn't worth stressing about as much as i did, and i'm much happier just taking things one step at a time and enjoy life right now.

after the jamboree, i eventually want to go bike across the uk, ireland, europe, etc... i'll still hit up australia at some point, just not sure when. also, now that i got all this unnecessary stress off my mind i'm excited about working on doing some youtube videos about traveling (and i dropped the podcast as a project).

so overall, things feel a lot more clear to me now, and i'm definitely happier for it. i really appreciate everyone's advice, it definitely helped me gain some perspective

 

[Raging Bird]

One of the interesting things about STP that has kind of surprised me is the presence of people who don't travel anymore but remain the kind of people who traveled in the first place. Aside from occasional train trips and ill advised schemes in Mexico, this is pretty much the camp I fall into myself. When I was younger, maybe I would have written these people off as "house punks" living vicariously through the Internet, but most of the people on here have really been out there and put some serious miles in over the years. And anyway, a lot of ex-travelers are more interesting than the average traveler - I know I'm more interesting now than I was when my life revolved around swilling box wine under a variety of exotic bridges and highway overpasses across the country, but I still keep the same ethics I've always had.

To me, I never wanted to be homeless for life, but I also never wanted to settle down and get a high paying job only so I could throw the money away eating out, drinking craft cocktails, spending money on clothes, etc. The dream would be to stay with your people and even continue traveling, but raise your standard of living or even have a place to come back to that you can call a home base.

I'll just say, if I had the skills that you had, and lived in Austin, I would focus 100% of my efforts on killing 3 of the birds you mentioned with one stone. If I knew jackshit about coding or tech, I would get a programming job and build it into a remote position, so I could work from anywhere and make money at libraries while doing my thing on trains. That's actually what I do now, but I'm actually still considerably below the poverty line (Ha!)

I promise you, with the shit you know how to do, and a website you built from the ground up boasting thousands of international members and profiled on international media? You could land something good, man. Your parents would be happy, you could get back on the road, and you could save for your next big project without having to live a fake life for longer than the time it takes you to go remote. I didn't read the other responses so maybe everyone else said the same thing, but that's my two cents.

 

[Matt Derrick]

I'll just say, if I had the skills that you had, and lived in Austin, I would focus 100% of my efforts on killing 3 of the birds you mentioned with one stone. If I knew jackshit about coding or tech, I would get a programming job and build it into a remote position, so I could work from anywhere and make money at libraries while doing my thing on trains. That's actually what I do now, but I'm actually still considerably below the poverty line (Ha!)

i definitely understand what you're saying, and a few others have suggested the same. maybe its something i forgot to mention in the OP, or maybe it's something that's happened since i started this thread (i'd have to re-read it) but one of the things i've discovered in the past year is that first, i don't like programming, and second, i've been doing web design in one capacity or another for basically my whole life, and frankly i'm bored to tears of it. some might say to just power through it for the money, but i just can't dedicate so much time to something i'm not really all that passionate about (anymore, when i was younger i was all about it i guess).

i actually still have one client i do (freelance) website work for, and that brings me about 200 extra dollars a month, which is nice, and i don't mind doing it all that much since it's an interesting website and he's a friend of mine.

what i am going to do though is try and switch over careers and move towards doing graphic design and desktop publishing type stuff. it's kinda hard to switch fields like that but i'm taking online courses to re-acquaint myself with illustrator and things like that, and overall i feel like doing that kind of stuff freelance would be a lot more fulfilling than doing website code. i don't think i'll be able to do it professionally for a while but i don't mind working a few crap jobs in the meantime since at least i'm moving in the right direction now.

 

[kokomojoe]

I'll have to go through here and read all the responses when i have the time cause I was about to make a thread very similar to this. I'm planning on hitting the road again soon but just haven't been able to shake the thought of the future and what'd come afterwards. It's really the one thing that's been holding me back. Haven't been on the road in a couple years now, living with parents and half-assingly trying to get shit together. Clearly that hasn't worked out but, I figured by now I'd know what I want to do as far as a "real job" goes. Not even sure if a real job is what I'd want. Being more self-reliant is always good but I feel as if I've just been convincing myself that it's what I need to be happy. Between that mentality and fear of the future, I've just been kinda stuck with indecision. Definitely just gotta say fuck it and hit the road again because it's the one thing I think about daily. I know I'm not happy here and that getting my shit together won't happen here either.