goofy shit I write (1 Viewer)

D

deleted17310

I deleted myself
I'm going to die pretty soon. no it's not cancer, well maybe it is i don't know. No what i mean is in the grand scheme of things even if I go 20 years from now it's soon. Realistically my life is certainly more than half over i've been a pack-a-day smoker since the 90's an I ain't stoppin anytime soon, i don't use condoms, i do use needles, and i hunt through groceries stores for food with trans fats. anyway when i do go these are my wishes. 1. clear my browsing history before mom sees. 2. If the manner of my death is less than absolutely hilarious, make it funny before the authorities arrive assuming they weren't in pursuit already. I have a number of suggestions on how to achieve this.
1. Put my dick in my hand
2. Put my dick in your hand
3. Put your dick in my hand
4. Add a clown nose
5. Incorporate a toilet into the scenario, if a toilet is already involved get another one toilets are always funny but nobody is useing 2 this is next level shit
6. Insert a litter of kittens into my butt so when the coroner checks me they will think that i was impregnated buy a cat (use a tabby or something no one will buy it if it looks like i was going to have siamese kitties)
7. Put your dick in your hand. (This is off topic but I was to be sure the project is as fun for you as possible and not all about me)
8. Put me into what of those cakes that a stripper pops out of and bring me to and old lady birthday party at a nursing home, for extra credit you can also incorporate steps 1 and 6

Mind you these are just simple suggestion i encourage you to make the project your own. Maybe do some sort of weird twisted shit that you always wanted to do to a human body, it's not like i'll be able to stop you or complain. Just so long as it's funny this is my last wish so please respect that. you don't have to respect me, just respect i need it to be funny. Oh and very very public.
 
We sell all kinds of other stuff in our Etsy store!

EphemeralStick

The Guay Agenda
Joined
Aug 20, 2010
Messages
1,712
Location
New Orleans
Funny shit, but as it's not necessarily a project and definitely not a website I'm going to move this thread to General Banter.
 

Users Who Are Viewing This Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 1)

About us

  • Squat the Planet is the world's largest social network for misfit travelers. Join our community of do-it-yourself nomads and learn how to explore the world by any means necessary.

    More Info

Support StP!

Donations go towards paying our monthly server fees, adding new features to the website, and occasionally putting a burrito in Matt's mouth.

Total amount
$10.00
Goal
$100.00

Monthly Goals

  1. Paying the Bills
    $10.00 of $50.00
    The first $50 in donations go towards paying our monthly server fees and adding new features to the website. Once this goal is reached, we'll see about feeding Matt that burrito.
  2. Buy Matt a Beer
    $10.00 of $75.00
    Now that we have the bills paid for this month, let's give Matt a hearty thank you by buying him a drink for all the hard work he's done for StP. Hopefully his will help keep him from going insane after a long day of squishing website bugs.
  3. Feed Matt a Burrito
    $10.00 of $100.00
    Now that the bills are paid and Matt has a beer in his hand, how about showing him your love by rewarding all his hard work with a big fat burrito to put in his mouth. This will keep him alive while programming new features for the website.
  4. Finance the Shopping Cart
    $10.00 of $200.00
    Now that the bills are paid and Matt is fed, perhaps it's time to start planning for those twilight years under the bridge... if only he had that golden shopping cart all the oogles are bragging about these days.