Dead horse
Well-known member
Whoosh! Woosh! Woosh! An inch or 2 forward and the line of poles would certainly had turned into a bloody mess with my severed head as an adornment, my mangled corpse a nasty suprise for the yard master down the line if gravity decided to leave it on the deck of the train. The cold air mixed with pockets of warm as the elevation changes at the speed of the the endless track .
Back down through the hole with a healthy lungfull of dust and train dirt I went to huddle myself into a ball on an old slab of cardboard keeping my ass from touching cold steal. I sat as the front of the train began its entry into the yard. Darkness give way to brightly lit rows of track with many more lengths or train laying in wait for their destinations.
you couldn't tell what they were saying but the mutter of voices with the jingle of switch keys could be heard bouncing around as though from anywhere. Its a good time to stay low and not make a sound that is of course unless you want to get caught , pulled off and possibly roughed up by the cops and i certainly am not here for that. As I lay in wait the cold steal became ever more comfortable as my eyes lids grew heavier.
Her hair was well past her shoulders, a freshly died blonde colour, she dressed as any punk rocking chick would, a vest with "kill cops" poorly painted on the back and patches of fuzzy leopard print sown in mis-matched formation all over with bands i never cared to hear of and dirty blue jeans covered in names of people i might have never met. Her nature was easy going and she always seemed alone in the crowd to me, her voice was soft spoken with the ocassional lisp. She prided herself in the collection of the many piecings adorning her ears in places i could never imaging having a piece of metal jammed through. I had been in a downward spiral the night we hit it off. I had some how came about a bottle of prescription medication good enough for me to suck up into syringes and plunge into my arm yet she stayed by me as a friend the whole night through and after walking away from a friends apartment tired of watching them clean the same crack pipe over and over again trying to get that one last hit we walked down the street together. "Hey my friend wants to buy my cell phone off me. I bet i could trade it for a few hits of acid" looking at her faintly hoping she would agree to the venture. "Okay" she said and with that we preceded with the plan. After a bit of work and a gathering of some supplies i had stored in a little room i was renting we ate the magic little pieces of paper and tredged on down the train tracks bound for a cemetery along the way. By the time we reached them my body was flashing with a feeling that could better be desrcbed by colours more then the conventional way of explaining one's self. I knew this girl got around a bit having lived under the same bridge and sharing some of the same friends. After talking for sometime i made a move "would you be if I did this?" and reached forward with my head to hers locking lips in a sloppy meaningless kiss.
"CRASH!" The feeling of hard steel with the loud bang left me trying to see in the dark space of the cubby hole making me realize i had been dreaming one of the same dreams that had been plauging me for longer then I like to think. The breeze came back as the lights slowly faded making things slightly safer to exit the hole onto the deck and after laying in wait for 3 hours standing is a pleasure even at the cost of having to put on my jacket. When the water ran out the real trouble began. Head aches and deleyed reactions created desperation and before i knew it the boggy brown marshes during the small stops started looking good. I came to the realization that i can no longer ride this train for fear of disaster and with that the plan was made in my head to ditch in the next town.
As the approach to the final yard began i thought to myelf "Fuck! this train isn't gonna slow down!" I threw my bag off sealing my fate and making me commited like a desperate fool i lunged foward with the motion out away from the deadly wheels and with almost instant "THUD" I was eating my knee caps as the force slammed my body into a ball without time to notice the 10 feet i bounced in the air after going completely limp all i could do was lay and hold myself wondering what oragans where bleeing out in my body and how long I had to live.
10 minutes and a few cuts and bruises later i was dusted off and using my legs again making my way back to my pack "I hope at least that it did better in the ditch then i did" and with that I achingly bent over to grab the bag and see that it had nothing more then a few scuff marks "Lucky bag!"
For 20 minutes I walked through fields to reach the highway and only thing between me and the last stretch was a dyke dividing the field from the adjacent one with a sore hip from the ditch this 6 foot jump looked more like 10 feet and with no way to the highway other then finding an alternative route i reluctently hucked my pack barely over to the other side. A few steps back and this felt like a challange already as i sucked it up and darted for the edge of the dyke and with a leap of faith I went for it landing dead center in the water waist deep "Fuck this can become a problem fast!" I said to myself out loud. With a bit of squirming to get my knees out of the muck bellow I waded more then walked to the other side and clawed my way up the steep embankment on onto the other side " My pack always seems to be winning when it shit happens" I thought as I picked it up and threw it on.
Driping wet and standing on the shoulder of the highway still thirsty I was in no condition to be sitting in a person's car so with nothing but time and a forest on the other side of the ranch property across from where i stood I decided to make my way for it and find drinkable water while I was at it. A house sat about a quater kilometer up the road, it was a fairly large farm property where a little white house with peeling paint sat next to a large lawn and a drive way with no vehicles parked in it. A sprinkler ran and with no hesitation I droped my pack pulled my 2 bottles out and ran for it. Kinking the hose I removed the sprinker before it came back getting me wetter then i already was and released letting the water flow. For a minute I was in heaven as the water rushed down my throat filling my empty stomach and quenching my parched lips. Bloated with my bottles now filled I walked back to put the bottles in my pack, pick it up and make way for the tree line at the back of the large property.
The front lawn going up along the side of the property extended far back to a wide would I guess you could call a backyard though it looked more like a field itself as a walked along the the edge trying not to be spotted. I noticed a small heard of cows grazing on some hay bails put out for them near a drinking trough. "Cows are kinda freaky when your this close" I thought as silently moved through the tall grass between them and the fence trying not to be spoted as a tresspasser while they looked at me with nervous eyes "I wonder if they could attack me for getting to close?" A little ways past an old shack on the properties edge of the tree line and I was treking through the woods listening to the sound of a creek rushing in the distance somewhere as the rich smell of pine filled my nostrils. "Heres a spot!" I said as I began unloading the contents of my pack out onto the ground. "Time for the wood" as I walked off into the thicket and with no time at all I was back breaking the kindling and lighting a fire. A few large sticks later and I was reallying feeling the warmth as I begon laying my boots around the edge of the fire and placing my pants and shirt over wood jammed into the ground to dry.
The smell of burning plastic and rubber shocked me awake as i realized i had fallen asleep while drying my things and the very end of one of my boots had caught fire "fuck!" I grabbed it and put the fire out as quickly as I could to examine the damage "Not bad could be worse I said" and carefully placed it back in front of the fire to continue drying. A little snoozing later and the sun still fairly up there in the sky my things were dry, smelling thick of fire smoke, and my guess was that it was about 4 in the afternoon so with a bit of packing and a quick pee on the fire I turned my back to the smoke and headed back the way I came towards the highway."hmmm where did the cows go? I sure can smell them" I said out out loud and I crept on down the fence line once again through the tall grass back to front of the property and onto the road.
The miles seemed endless as I walked on, field after field, tree after tree, the country houses were old and most of them fairly big showing what money and farming could buy but as the the rolling hills and and valleys went on the road began intesecting with more streets and the country fields gave way to small neighbourhoods with houses beside each other divided by fences and then the shoulder abruptly became a sidewalk. The Name of the town didn't matter as I walked past a pretty young blonde girl smiling on her bike "Right on" I thought as my tired legs carried me on.
A sign up ahead read the name of a grocery store but today being what i thought might be sunday and then sun going down with no money in my pocket I wasn't sure that I was going to be able to feed my hungry stomach tonight. Onward I tredged not knowingi i would eat as I approached the grocery store now , the parking lot empty, the store closed, with that I threw my pack down, let out a sigh "shitty deal".
"Well I could just go to sleep hungry and find food when i get up" I said to myself aloud as i picked my pack back up and walked towards the back of the grocery store. I always seem to stop like a deer in the head lights when I see those local bulletins posting things for sale that I could never afford. "Well for ONLY 3500 bucks I can ride out of town in that truck" I said as let a "ha" as if trying to convince myself it was a funny joke. The back of the grocery store had its usual coffee can full of rain water with ciggerette butts floating in it no doubt from a weeks worth of hasty breaks made by the store's employees trying not to get noticed for sneaking a quick one in before getting back to the grinding wheel or at least thats how I seen it since i never took to working a job to well in my life. There was the all to famillar aroma of garbage grease and a flickering caged orange light going on in no particular pattern to the moths flying around it as the sun completed its passage beyond the horizon. "Well I won't have any problems with supplying my cardboard needs" I thought noticing the overflowing slabs spilling out onto the ground from the bin at the very back by the truck bay door. Beside it the blue dumpster not smelling too bad and already half open didn't look promising but as i peared it it wasn't exactly full either. "No way!" I said as i had firmly put a grip around the first bag and tested it for weight, it felt solid and on jiggling the bag it didn't move like a pile of crumpled up garbage did. I hoisted it out and slapped it on the ground curiously tearing it open to see its contents. "Score!" packs of ground meat and steaks a day past the expirey day still in thier packages with not a single fly or maggot in sight the meat hadn't even started turning rancid from soaking it its own blood yet I was smiling now feeling like a king in a well run empire my smell probably no better then the rest of the garbage in the dumpster i just got my supper from.
After taking 2 steaks and 2 packs of ground beef i set about finding an ideal location to for cooking my dinner. A little way down the road I came in on and beyond the grocery store lay a bridge crossing a small river and beyond that lay almost complete darkness save for a few lights looming off in the distance probably of homes stratling the very edge of town. "Perfect" I thought as I had neither tarp nor tent to keep me sheltered should it rain in the night. Down bellow the bridge thankfully it was mostly flat with trees and dried out driftwood scattering its banks near the and around the bridge's inner column I set about collecting in sucession the smallest driest twigs to the larger pieces of wood I would need to have my cooking fire. With a bit of work I had my fire going and placed some larger sticks on it I then turned my attention to a stand of short everygreen trees above the ridge of the short bank along the rivers edge. Normally I would gladly use slabs of cardboard to lay on and keep myself up off the ground as I slept but being exhausted from a long day of traveling I know if i could gather up as much of the outer pine branches I could use use them as a natural bed for the night.
Returning with an armfull of pine bows I had painstackingly removed by hand from the evergreens I went about stoking the fire and carefully placed a few more sticks over the smoldering coals sitting back for a moment to take in the silence and wonder of my souroundings only accompained by the odd truck over head and the crackel of burning wood. I could never understand the meaning to my travels if they ever had one but over the years they had consumed much of my time and fueled my passion to see what was out there for myself. I never had yearning for cold places and only really got out when the spring thaw came to pound the pavement and ride the rails i seemed endless but I liked it, it made me feel alive. A little more poking of the fire and some thatching of the pines bows and half my bed was ready and it was time to cook my supper. Having no frying pan and being to hungry to care if I had to pick pieces of dirt out of my mouth to fill my empty growling stomach I grabbed to largest flatest rocks around, washed them in the river and placed them on the very edge of my fire on the outside of the prevailing wind to aid in heating them up. Ripping open the packages the steaks came in first i smelt the meat "not bad" and carefully placed them on the rocks, next I tore open the 2 packs of ground beef grabbing it in handfulls and pressing it down on the rocks beside my steaks and with a little work of a stick i shoveled hot ambers all around the large stones.
Finally after what seemed like forever I had begon to hear the sizzle of meat cooking and went back to finishing off my evergreen bed. "I wonder how many travelers have used this bridge over the years" I thought "If bridges had eyes and could speak" I said with a chuckle trying to read the scrawls of graffiti on the column. As the meat began to burn I quickly sholved the smoldering ambers back with a stick and left it to cool off "I really got to get a knife" I thought as it was looking like I was going to have to use my hands which wasn't that bad since my hands were already dirty as it was. The first piece of steak was half covered in ash as I gnawed on the end wiping off what dirt I could as a went. "Not bad at all, a little on the rare and burnt side but I'm eating" I thought as most of the first one tossing the fatty remains out to the river turning my attention now to a small handfull of the ground beef which looked like it did a little better on the rocks then my hobo steak. "Yuck, fuck this!" throwing it to the fish, "that was fucking horrible". The last piece of steak was pretty much the same maybe even a little more burnt but my stomach was happy and i felt like could get a decent sleep as wiped my greasy hands onto my pants and turned to my pack pulling out my sleeping bag. "At least its dry after all I've been through today" I never though something as simple as a dry blanket would make me so happy to be alive. It wasn't untill I had nothing that I realized how the simplest things in life could be the most important and meaningfull. folding up my extra clothes into a pillow climbed into my bag, zipped it up, exhausted I closed my eyes with no hesistation.
Holding her hand gently I looked into her eyes and without saying a word I knew she trusted me as we ran absolutely naked through the recently harvested muddy corn field. It had been a mild September and this being already near the end of the month running stark nude was a testament to how warm it was. "Oh my god this is so fun" she cried. Up untill this very moment I have never felt so alive in my life as a ran still hand in hand making the occasional glance to her blonde hair against her bouncing breast. "I'm going to try taking a shit standing up" I looked at her for the reaction "Oh my god your gross" she laughed. "Haaa!" "That was harder then it looked" She laughed again. "Well if you can do that I'm going to pee standing" and in a moment she was jumping up and down "Eww! It ran down my leg come here I want to wipe it on your leg" looking at her with a smile "okay" and let her rub her piss covered leg up against mine.
Warm globs of slime coated my face as the feeling of what could only be described as a dog licking my face held out to be true as i suddenly opened my eyes to a large german shepard standing over me with curiosity. "Good morning to you too" I said wiping the slobber off my face. "Oh my god I'm so sorry Dash is really friendly" A voice called out. "Its okay I would probably have slept well into noon if it wasn't for your furry friend" turning to meet the gaze of a slender averaged height women wearing grey jogging garb. "I'm Kate" she smiled "I see you and Dash have already been aquainted" I returned the smile "Yup we sure have" as a let out a chuckle". "You must be traveling" Kate said "ya not really sure were I'm going I guess you could say i'm more of a drifter" I didn't want to say to much "I'm Dave I just got in last night". "Cool" Well we ought to be getting on with our walk Dave I got to get going to work soon and Dash gets restless is he doesn't get his dailey walks in so stay safe" " I certainly will Kate take care yourself" smiling and looking back again to Dash gently rubbing the to of his head "See ya buddy" and off they went.
"Its time to find coffee and breakfast" I said to myself as I rolled up my sleeping bag and shoved it into my pack with my extra clothes. My pack had lasted some time on the road but I was already growing tired of the thin straps as they looked as though they could give from to much weight. Walking up out onto the bridge I turned around and went back towards the grocery store knowing at the height of the sun that it had to be somewhere around 11 or 12. The sun was indeed well up with little clouds in the sky the air feeling as the though it should for the middle of June. The little town was awake with a somewhat steady flow of people driving down the road. An old women in a white and blue flower patterned dress trimming a bush in front of her home stopped to look at me with an awkward glance "Hi there" I said with a smile as her wrinkled face turned to a smile "hello" she said.
Once at the grocery store I could see the parking lot half full of people going in and comming out with bags of food and household items a couple older men standing near a truck smokking and drinking coffee having a chat looking like they probably retired a long time ago. I walked across the front of the store looking in the window seeing the usaual people waiting in line at the cashiers to purchase thier items I went all the way over to the side and around back to the dumptsers I scored my meal from the night before. Eyeballing the dumpster with that no longer had cardboard spilling out the top i crossed my fingers hoping there would be something to use for a simple sign. Lifting the lid I peered in "Damn they're gonna make me work for my money today" seeing only a few slabs at the bottom. Resting my pack down I lifted the lid so it flopped over the back and climbed up and in to the dumpter. I'm always looking around like I could never get over the thought of someone seeing a person climb inside a dumpster even though I had done it many times before. The collapsed boxes were small as I grabbed the cleanest one with the least amount of tape and damage to it I had gotten good at tearing off slabs over the years and even kind of prided myself on it as I expertly tore the box in half and ripped the edges off to make a small square slab thinking it would be big enough to suit my need.
Not really wanting to sit where by the dumpster to scribble my sob story I gathered my things and headed back out front, the old men still talking way and the rumble of a motorcycle riding away and the smell of pine mixed with the smell of the river down the way or the moisture in the air I took the very corner of the store with my back to the brick wall, watching as a pulled out my trusty permanent marker and began to work on my yet to be masterpiece. "I just need little help getting breafast... If you can't or don't want to help no hard feelings I'm just bum anyways" carefully defining the edges of each letter how a painter takes his or her time to stroke the brush in the same direction to colour each piece of a painting into completion. I was really wishing a had sun glasses for this I can't stand the sight of people looking into my eyes as their not always on a person's as they approach me holding a sign. More often then not I'm observing all my souroundings and just pointing my face at them to give them the impression that I am giving full attention to possible charity but today I'm forced to look them in the eye even if I flinch. I lumbered over to the opposite end of the parking lot where most the cars seemed to be comming in not really carring who says what or sees me. "Nobody can force me to go anywhere I don't want, I have every right to do this in the name of survival, the cops can go fuck themselves I'm hungry I don't care what anyone thinks". I had never been able to pan handle without thought . The very moment before I hold up that piece of cardboard has always been one of me telling myself I would have to suck it up as it wasn't something I always seen as respectable or at the least an easy way to make some money.
I seemed I wasn't being taken seriously as an uncounted amount of ignorant people walked and drove by me facing them comming out of the parking lot or walking by from the sidewalk. It wasnt a very big town I thought. "Maybe this place his been hit to hard by other travelers over the years, that or these people just don't give a fuck". "Here ya go buddy, get yourself something to eat". "Hey wow, thanks man" I said with a smile. 20 Dollar bill right off the bat fucing right I thought looking back at the SUV. The guy reminded me of a family man maybe about 38 or 40 years of age, soft complextion like life had been mostly simple or like he'd never really had to struggle with a drug addiction or something of the likes you see in those hardened greasy characters walking the around the in the bad parts of towns in the bigger cities either way I was set and folded my sign up shoving it into a garbage can before entering the grocery store...
Back down through the hole with a healthy lungfull of dust and train dirt I went to huddle myself into a ball on an old slab of cardboard keeping my ass from touching cold steal. I sat as the front of the train began its entry into the yard. Darkness give way to brightly lit rows of track with many more lengths or train laying in wait for their destinations.
you couldn't tell what they were saying but the mutter of voices with the jingle of switch keys could be heard bouncing around as though from anywhere. Its a good time to stay low and not make a sound that is of course unless you want to get caught , pulled off and possibly roughed up by the cops and i certainly am not here for that. As I lay in wait the cold steal became ever more comfortable as my eyes lids grew heavier.
Her hair was well past her shoulders, a freshly died blonde colour, she dressed as any punk rocking chick would, a vest with "kill cops" poorly painted on the back and patches of fuzzy leopard print sown in mis-matched formation all over with bands i never cared to hear of and dirty blue jeans covered in names of people i might have never met. Her nature was easy going and she always seemed alone in the crowd to me, her voice was soft spoken with the ocassional lisp. She prided herself in the collection of the many piecings adorning her ears in places i could never imaging having a piece of metal jammed through. I had been in a downward spiral the night we hit it off. I had some how came about a bottle of prescription medication good enough for me to suck up into syringes and plunge into my arm yet she stayed by me as a friend the whole night through and after walking away from a friends apartment tired of watching them clean the same crack pipe over and over again trying to get that one last hit we walked down the street together. "Hey my friend wants to buy my cell phone off me. I bet i could trade it for a few hits of acid" looking at her faintly hoping she would agree to the venture. "Okay" she said and with that we preceded with the plan. After a bit of work and a gathering of some supplies i had stored in a little room i was renting we ate the magic little pieces of paper and tredged on down the train tracks bound for a cemetery along the way. By the time we reached them my body was flashing with a feeling that could better be desrcbed by colours more then the conventional way of explaining one's self. I knew this girl got around a bit having lived under the same bridge and sharing some of the same friends. After talking for sometime i made a move "would you be if I did this?" and reached forward with my head to hers locking lips in a sloppy meaningless kiss.
"CRASH!" The feeling of hard steel with the loud bang left me trying to see in the dark space of the cubby hole making me realize i had been dreaming one of the same dreams that had been plauging me for longer then I like to think. The breeze came back as the lights slowly faded making things slightly safer to exit the hole onto the deck and after laying in wait for 3 hours standing is a pleasure even at the cost of having to put on my jacket. When the water ran out the real trouble began. Head aches and deleyed reactions created desperation and before i knew it the boggy brown marshes during the small stops started looking good. I came to the realization that i can no longer ride this train for fear of disaster and with that the plan was made in my head to ditch in the next town.
As the approach to the final yard began i thought to myelf "Fuck! this train isn't gonna slow down!" I threw my bag off sealing my fate and making me commited like a desperate fool i lunged foward with the motion out away from the deadly wheels and with almost instant "THUD" I was eating my knee caps as the force slammed my body into a ball without time to notice the 10 feet i bounced in the air after going completely limp all i could do was lay and hold myself wondering what oragans where bleeing out in my body and how long I had to live.
10 minutes and a few cuts and bruises later i was dusted off and using my legs again making my way back to my pack "I hope at least that it did better in the ditch then i did" and with that I achingly bent over to grab the bag and see that it had nothing more then a few scuff marks "Lucky bag!"
For 20 minutes I walked through fields to reach the highway and only thing between me and the last stretch was a dyke dividing the field from the adjacent one with a sore hip from the ditch this 6 foot jump looked more like 10 feet and with no way to the highway other then finding an alternative route i reluctently hucked my pack barely over to the other side. A few steps back and this felt like a challange already as i sucked it up and darted for the edge of the dyke and with a leap of faith I went for it landing dead center in the water waist deep "Fuck this can become a problem fast!" I said to myself out loud. With a bit of squirming to get my knees out of the muck bellow I waded more then walked to the other side and clawed my way up the steep embankment on onto the other side " My pack always seems to be winning when it shit happens" I thought as I picked it up and threw it on.
Driping wet and standing on the shoulder of the highway still thirsty I was in no condition to be sitting in a person's car so with nothing but time and a forest on the other side of the ranch property across from where i stood I decided to make my way for it and find drinkable water while I was at it. A house sat about a quater kilometer up the road, it was a fairly large farm property where a little white house with peeling paint sat next to a large lawn and a drive way with no vehicles parked in it. A sprinkler ran and with no hesitation I droped my pack pulled my 2 bottles out and ran for it. Kinking the hose I removed the sprinker before it came back getting me wetter then i already was and released letting the water flow. For a minute I was in heaven as the water rushed down my throat filling my empty stomach and quenching my parched lips. Bloated with my bottles now filled I walked back to put the bottles in my pack, pick it up and make way for the tree line at the back of the large property.
The front lawn going up along the side of the property extended far back to a wide would I guess you could call a backyard though it looked more like a field itself as a walked along the the edge trying not to be spotted. I noticed a small heard of cows grazing on some hay bails put out for them near a drinking trough. "Cows are kinda freaky when your this close" I thought as silently moved through the tall grass between them and the fence trying not to be spoted as a tresspasser while they looked at me with nervous eyes "I wonder if they could attack me for getting to close?" A little ways past an old shack on the properties edge of the tree line and I was treking through the woods listening to the sound of a creek rushing in the distance somewhere as the rich smell of pine filled my nostrils. "Heres a spot!" I said as I began unloading the contents of my pack out onto the ground. "Time for the wood" as I walked off into the thicket and with no time at all I was back breaking the kindling and lighting a fire. A few large sticks later and I was reallying feeling the warmth as I begon laying my boots around the edge of the fire and placing my pants and shirt over wood jammed into the ground to dry.
The smell of burning plastic and rubber shocked me awake as i realized i had fallen asleep while drying my things and the very end of one of my boots had caught fire "fuck!" I grabbed it and put the fire out as quickly as I could to examine the damage "Not bad could be worse I said" and carefully placed it back in front of the fire to continue drying. A little snoozing later and the sun still fairly up there in the sky my things were dry, smelling thick of fire smoke, and my guess was that it was about 4 in the afternoon so with a bit of packing and a quick pee on the fire I turned my back to the smoke and headed back the way I came towards the highway."hmmm where did the cows go? I sure can smell them" I said out out loud and I crept on down the fence line once again through the tall grass back to front of the property and onto the road.
The miles seemed endless as I walked on, field after field, tree after tree, the country houses were old and most of them fairly big showing what money and farming could buy but as the the rolling hills and and valleys went on the road began intesecting with more streets and the country fields gave way to small neighbourhoods with houses beside each other divided by fences and then the shoulder abruptly became a sidewalk. The Name of the town didn't matter as I walked past a pretty young blonde girl smiling on her bike "Right on" I thought as my tired legs carried me on.
A sign up ahead read the name of a grocery store but today being what i thought might be sunday and then sun going down with no money in my pocket I wasn't sure that I was going to be able to feed my hungry stomach tonight. Onward I tredged not knowingi i would eat as I approached the grocery store now , the parking lot empty, the store closed, with that I threw my pack down, let out a sigh "shitty deal".
"Well I could just go to sleep hungry and find food when i get up" I said to myself aloud as i picked my pack back up and walked towards the back of the grocery store. I always seem to stop like a deer in the head lights when I see those local bulletins posting things for sale that I could never afford. "Well for ONLY 3500 bucks I can ride out of town in that truck" I said as let a "ha" as if trying to convince myself it was a funny joke. The back of the grocery store had its usual coffee can full of rain water with ciggerette butts floating in it no doubt from a weeks worth of hasty breaks made by the store's employees trying not to get noticed for sneaking a quick one in before getting back to the grinding wheel or at least thats how I seen it since i never took to working a job to well in my life. There was the all to famillar aroma of garbage grease and a flickering caged orange light going on in no particular pattern to the moths flying around it as the sun completed its passage beyond the horizon. "Well I won't have any problems with supplying my cardboard needs" I thought noticing the overflowing slabs spilling out onto the ground from the bin at the very back by the truck bay door. Beside it the blue dumpster not smelling too bad and already half open didn't look promising but as i peared it it wasn't exactly full either. "No way!" I said as i had firmly put a grip around the first bag and tested it for weight, it felt solid and on jiggling the bag it didn't move like a pile of crumpled up garbage did. I hoisted it out and slapped it on the ground curiously tearing it open to see its contents. "Score!" packs of ground meat and steaks a day past the expirey day still in thier packages with not a single fly or maggot in sight the meat hadn't even started turning rancid from soaking it its own blood yet I was smiling now feeling like a king in a well run empire my smell probably no better then the rest of the garbage in the dumpster i just got my supper from.
After taking 2 steaks and 2 packs of ground beef i set about finding an ideal location to for cooking my dinner. A little way down the road I came in on and beyond the grocery store lay a bridge crossing a small river and beyond that lay almost complete darkness save for a few lights looming off in the distance probably of homes stratling the very edge of town. "Perfect" I thought as I had neither tarp nor tent to keep me sheltered should it rain in the night. Down bellow the bridge thankfully it was mostly flat with trees and dried out driftwood scattering its banks near the and around the bridge's inner column I set about collecting in sucession the smallest driest twigs to the larger pieces of wood I would need to have my cooking fire. With a bit of work I had my fire going and placed some larger sticks on it I then turned my attention to a stand of short everygreen trees above the ridge of the short bank along the rivers edge. Normally I would gladly use slabs of cardboard to lay on and keep myself up off the ground as I slept but being exhausted from a long day of traveling I know if i could gather up as much of the outer pine branches I could use use them as a natural bed for the night.
Returning with an armfull of pine bows I had painstackingly removed by hand from the evergreens I went about stoking the fire and carefully placed a few more sticks over the smoldering coals sitting back for a moment to take in the silence and wonder of my souroundings only accompained by the odd truck over head and the crackel of burning wood. I could never understand the meaning to my travels if they ever had one but over the years they had consumed much of my time and fueled my passion to see what was out there for myself. I never had yearning for cold places and only really got out when the spring thaw came to pound the pavement and ride the rails i seemed endless but I liked it, it made me feel alive. A little more poking of the fire and some thatching of the pines bows and half my bed was ready and it was time to cook my supper. Having no frying pan and being to hungry to care if I had to pick pieces of dirt out of my mouth to fill my empty growling stomach I grabbed to largest flatest rocks around, washed them in the river and placed them on the very edge of my fire on the outside of the prevailing wind to aid in heating them up. Ripping open the packages the steaks came in first i smelt the meat "not bad" and carefully placed them on the rocks, next I tore open the 2 packs of ground beef grabbing it in handfulls and pressing it down on the rocks beside my steaks and with a little work of a stick i shoveled hot ambers all around the large stones.
Finally after what seemed like forever I had begon to hear the sizzle of meat cooking and went back to finishing off my evergreen bed. "I wonder how many travelers have used this bridge over the years" I thought "If bridges had eyes and could speak" I said with a chuckle trying to read the scrawls of graffiti on the column. As the meat began to burn I quickly sholved the smoldering ambers back with a stick and left it to cool off "I really got to get a knife" I thought as it was looking like I was going to have to use my hands which wasn't that bad since my hands were already dirty as it was. The first piece of steak was half covered in ash as I gnawed on the end wiping off what dirt I could as a went. "Not bad at all, a little on the rare and burnt side but I'm eating" I thought as most of the first one tossing the fatty remains out to the river turning my attention now to a small handfull of the ground beef which looked like it did a little better on the rocks then my hobo steak. "Yuck, fuck this!" throwing it to the fish, "that was fucking horrible". The last piece of steak was pretty much the same maybe even a little more burnt but my stomach was happy and i felt like could get a decent sleep as wiped my greasy hands onto my pants and turned to my pack pulling out my sleeping bag. "At least its dry after all I've been through today" I never though something as simple as a dry blanket would make me so happy to be alive. It wasn't untill I had nothing that I realized how the simplest things in life could be the most important and meaningfull. folding up my extra clothes into a pillow climbed into my bag, zipped it up, exhausted I closed my eyes with no hesistation.
Holding her hand gently I looked into her eyes and without saying a word I knew she trusted me as we ran absolutely naked through the recently harvested muddy corn field. It had been a mild September and this being already near the end of the month running stark nude was a testament to how warm it was. "Oh my god this is so fun" she cried. Up untill this very moment I have never felt so alive in my life as a ran still hand in hand making the occasional glance to her blonde hair against her bouncing breast. "I'm going to try taking a shit standing up" I looked at her for the reaction "Oh my god your gross" she laughed. "Haaa!" "That was harder then it looked" She laughed again. "Well if you can do that I'm going to pee standing" and in a moment she was jumping up and down "Eww! It ran down my leg come here I want to wipe it on your leg" looking at her with a smile "okay" and let her rub her piss covered leg up against mine.
Warm globs of slime coated my face as the feeling of what could only be described as a dog licking my face held out to be true as i suddenly opened my eyes to a large german shepard standing over me with curiosity. "Good morning to you too" I said wiping the slobber off my face. "Oh my god I'm so sorry Dash is really friendly" A voice called out. "Its okay I would probably have slept well into noon if it wasn't for your furry friend" turning to meet the gaze of a slender averaged height women wearing grey jogging garb. "I'm Kate" she smiled "I see you and Dash have already been aquainted" I returned the smile "Yup we sure have" as a let out a chuckle". "You must be traveling" Kate said "ya not really sure were I'm going I guess you could say i'm more of a drifter" I didn't want to say to much "I'm Dave I just got in last night". "Cool" Well we ought to be getting on with our walk Dave I got to get going to work soon and Dash gets restless is he doesn't get his dailey walks in so stay safe" " I certainly will Kate take care yourself" smiling and looking back again to Dash gently rubbing the to of his head "See ya buddy" and off they went.
"Its time to find coffee and breakfast" I said to myself as I rolled up my sleeping bag and shoved it into my pack with my extra clothes. My pack had lasted some time on the road but I was already growing tired of the thin straps as they looked as though they could give from to much weight. Walking up out onto the bridge I turned around and went back towards the grocery store knowing at the height of the sun that it had to be somewhere around 11 or 12. The sun was indeed well up with little clouds in the sky the air feeling as the though it should for the middle of June. The little town was awake with a somewhat steady flow of people driving down the road. An old women in a white and blue flower patterned dress trimming a bush in front of her home stopped to look at me with an awkward glance "Hi there" I said with a smile as her wrinkled face turned to a smile "hello" she said.
Once at the grocery store I could see the parking lot half full of people going in and comming out with bags of food and household items a couple older men standing near a truck smokking and drinking coffee having a chat looking like they probably retired a long time ago. I walked across the front of the store looking in the window seeing the usaual people waiting in line at the cashiers to purchase thier items I went all the way over to the side and around back to the dumptsers I scored my meal from the night before. Eyeballing the dumpster with that no longer had cardboard spilling out the top i crossed my fingers hoping there would be something to use for a simple sign. Lifting the lid I peered in "Damn they're gonna make me work for my money today" seeing only a few slabs at the bottom. Resting my pack down I lifted the lid so it flopped over the back and climbed up and in to the dumpter. I'm always looking around like I could never get over the thought of someone seeing a person climb inside a dumpster even though I had done it many times before. The collapsed boxes were small as I grabbed the cleanest one with the least amount of tape and damage to it I had gotten good at tearing off slabs over the years and even kind of prided myself on it as I expertly tore the box in half and ripped the edges off to make a small square slab thinking it would be big enough to suit my need.
Not really wanting to sit where by the dumpster to scribble my sob story I gathered my things and headed back out front, the old men still talking way and the rumble of a motorcycle riding away and the smell of pine mixed with the smell of the river down the way or the moisture in the air I took the very corner of the store with my back to the brick wall, watching as a pulled out my trusty permanent marker and began to work on my yet to be masterpiece. "I just need little help getting breafast... If you can't or don't want to help no hard feelings I'm just bum anyways" carefully defining the edges of each letter how a painter takes his or her time to stroke the brush in the same direction to colour each piece of a painting into completion. I was really wishing a had sun glasses for this I can't stand the sight of people looking into my eyes as their not always on a person's as they approach me holding a sign. More often then not I'm observing all my souroundings and just pointing my face at them to give them the impression that I am giving full attention to possible charity but today I'm forced to look them in the eye even if I flinch. I lumbered over to the opposite end of the parking lot where most the cars seemed to be comming in not really carring who says what or sees me. "Nobody can force me to go anywhere I don't want, I have every right to do this in the name of survival, the cops can go fuck themselves I'm hungry I don't care what anyone thinks". I had never been able to pan handle without thought . The very moment before I hold up that piece of cardboard has always been one of me telling myself I would have to suck it up as it wasn't something I always seen as respectable or at the least an easy way to make some money.
I seemed I wasn't being taken seriously as an uncounted amount of ignorant people walked and drove by me facing them comming out of the parking lot or walking by from the sidewalk. It wasnt a very big town I thought. "Maybe this place his been hit to hard by other travelers over the years, that or these people just don't give a fuck". "Here ya go buddy, get yourself something to eat". "Hey wow, thanks man" I said with a smile. 20 Dollar bill right off the bat fucing right I thought looking back at the SUV. The guy reminded me of a family man maybe about 38 or 40 years of age, soft complextion like life had been mostly simple or like he'd never really had to struggle with a drug addiction or something of the likes you see in those hardened greasy characters walking the around the in the bad parts of towns in the bigger cities either way I was set and folded my sign up shoving it into a garbage can before entering the grocery store...
