kidbob
Well-known member
Its been a while...
How yall doing?
Imma do some quick summerizing here to fill in the last few years. To back fill, most know my cousin went missing 6 years ago do to criminal activity. No body, no weapon, no crime. Sad world we live in. Ive been a memeber of stp for what feels like an eternity now, and tbh, im very neglectful in my relationship with you guys. Dont have excuses, just been busy living large (IMO) and trying to be bigger than my problems.
Since jasons disappeared, ive lost my one of my favorite uncles, ted was known as troll and i keep his ashes in a vintage troll doll named "grandma".
I found out ted was dying directly after gaining cell service, while headed into town from rancho del rio. It was yarmony grass weekend and lemme tell yah.... those NOS tanks down by the river, where serving up ice cold phaddies all weekend long. I watched some yeehaw rocky mountain bluegrass manifest its self right there in the river bend, just off the banks of deep end.
Ted died 3 days later gasping for air that 3 days prior i was selling for 5$ a balloon.I was blessed to be able to jump on a airplane for the first time and attend his passing in melbourne florida.
Covid happened.
I had saved up enough loot, while working for the hospital, i was buying my gf and my mother an all expense trip to hawaii. I wanted to spend memorial weekend(my birthday) at the pearl harbor exhibit and see what hawaii was about. But covid happened, my mother got cold feet having never been on a plane and fearing being quarantined on an island(dont argue the pros with me, i tried yall) she decided not to go.
So me and my gf decided to tour the cali coast instead. Checking out the red woods, driving down the "1", stopping at every fruit stand we could buying cherries and getting fruit with lots of tah-jin powder on it.(my gf is spanish, but i love the shit out of that fruit and chilli).
We toured "so-cal" for the second time , landing in vegas litterally right as the "blm" movement happened. We pull up to the first red light and cars started opening doors. I had been on the road for god knows how long. I just wanted to get to my hotel so i could pee.
I dont watch tv. I had no clue. Zero fucks where given about dude not being able to breath. Im in florida right now and i STILL WEAR MY DAMN COLORADO SKI MASK. Its hot. I cant breath . I still wear it. And i still caught covid.
Any way.
Vegas was cool. The riots where fun.
There went my one chance for activism. But like all good things, i fucked it up. Too busy playing "Proper" tourist to give 2 shits about anybody. I just wanted to find one of them fake monks who hustle you for a beaded wristlet. Circus circus here i come... wahoooo... vegas was cool tho. Glad i didnt have to panhandle in one of those rediculas circles they have for spangers, but envious at the same time. Like... i didnt have the guts required to make it all the way to vegas as a dirty kid. Nor the drug addiction... but... here i was, crying my eyes out over my own success. Feeling pity for the crusty kid who just wants to trade a joke for a smoke and some spange for some change. And here i was... the recovered crusty. Having been there , done that, and i still wanted to sit and floss a patch like i was when i was 20.
Gf in tow, we puttered up to the 4 corners and made it to the gate right at sunrise. Covid closed all state parks. So much for getting to pee in 4 states at once right as the sunrised. Drove back to colorado on the 30th just long enough to find out we had to attend a graduation party that evening.
Graduation party commences, and i get a phone call. My dad's brother's daughters call me. They inform me that on the morning of the 31st at around 1230 am florida time, my brother james, attacked my dad, and my dad shot and killed my brother in self defense.
Great. Hell of a top off to a otherwise wild fucking birthday week.
On june 2nd, my cousins call me again. Their brother died the night befor. Having made it 1 day into his 30th year.
this all happened last year.
My sister calls me in december.
She says she wants to kill her self.
Shes pregnant with her 6th child and has the car picked out that shes gonna jump in front of.
Im like, hold the fuck up mel. Like, lemme send you some money for an abortion (she wouldnt adopt).
So shes like, fine, its 600 and i gotta have it today.
Im flabbergasted.
I hung up the phone not knowing what to do. I was headed to walmart to send her the money..... and i forgot.
I went to walmart, i handled my shit.. . . But i forgot to send her the money.
She didnt call me back, and days turned into weeks and december turned into valentines day. I call my mom and wish her a valentines day, she reminds me to call my sister. I forgot. Hung up the phone, got stoned amd forgot.
I wake up monday feb 15th to my mother crying screaming my name.
My sister has been struck by a car and was laying in icu braindead.
I do my best to calm my mother.
Ok mom, im gknna head to the airport right now. Ok mom i know she might not make it, but ill be there. Ok mom, i know i gotta come get you, be ready, im on my way, its 24 hrs straight to you, and 12 hrs from you to her. Yes mom, let everybody know we will be there in 72 hrs.
Ok mom. Love you mom.
I know. I know . I know.
Cant book a flight.
Every hippy and their mama is trying to get to new orleans for fucking mardi gras.
Way to go mel. You couldnt a picked a better fucking day to drop all your problems? Love you bunches, but shit... way to pick a date girl. I wont fucking forget.
It takes 24 hrs from the time i hung up the phone till i could get a flight. Thats 24/7 searching, having flight bookies search, doing everything i could to be on that next damn flight outta colorado to Nashville so i could rent a car and drive to my sisters bedside.
Her daughter pulled the plug 3 hrs after she was admitted.
Its been since ted died that i seen my sister.
Ill never see her again.
Ill never talk to her again.
Ill never _________ again.
Sad panda.
She left behind 5 kids. Her newborn was killed in the "accident".
3 girls 2 boys.
Im uncle jesse. Aka uncle kidbob. Pretty cool title. Hope im worthy and capable of living up to that name.
So any way.. . . . .
I get to my moms.
Tennessee just got hit by the biggest ice storm in 20 years. No rental cars available. Kinda sitting waiting with my thumb up my ass. My other cousin steve, he decided to let me barrow his truck. Decent diesle. Reliable. But he wont let me leave cause the ice. Hes worried about mont eagle. And i cant convince him that vail pass has mont eagle beat by a long shot. And vail pass is a daily drive for me.
Finally decides to let us go 3 days later... boom we hit the road.
In the meantime, back in colorado, i had some things brewing. April 1st is the first day of fishing. Gotta renew my liscense. Also, my fishing camp renewal was up. Wasnt sure if they would allow me to renew under this new managment and with covid and stuff. I can not express how damn lucky i was to have secured my spot at rancho del rio in bond colorado. New management came in and kicked everybody out. No more hippy parades and nitrous mafia and general fuckery. Good bye. No more parties, no more fun. You talk any more shit and were turning the boat around and your gonna row us home the whole way.
So i kinda waited and had a few grand and i was like... hey jimmy...
Lemme park my rv up on top the hill. I got security cameras. I dont tolerate hippy shit. He was like... cool, dont let nobody steal nothing....and gimmie your money up front. I was like sweat deal. Heres april 1st to october 31st. Every year. For the last 3 years. Caught some hippies stealing a car. Sweet. Got to see every festivsl out there up close and in person for free, just being the right person at the right time in the right place.
Boombox, magic beans, traveling mcourrys,yonder mountain string band, greensky bluegrass, the drunken hearts, left over salmon, trey anastasio,some version of the greatful dead, string cheese incident, and some others , im just overwhelemed with names in my retelling.
Anyway, april 1st is approaching, and im not sure if im going to be able to renew.
And when my job ended in december with the hospital, i managee to secure a sweet 10ft box truck with like, only 100k miles on it. Its fucking sweet. Its got a lift gate. Im fucking homeless, living in this tin box, and it has a fucking elevator. Im health concise tho, so i only let it down half way and tell everybody "i take the stairs" lmfao.
So im like, wtf do i do. I got this old 77 dodge sportsman motorhome that needs more love and money than i can afford to give it. It cost 800 just to scrap the damn thing.
I gutted what i wanted out of it, took all the electrical, the lights ,fans, damn near the sink, and built out the box truck.
I left the title signed on the dash and put an add out on fb. 24hrs later some guy told me he had it now.
Back to story...
So we head to florida and go do a celebration of life for my sister, meet a couple of the nieces and nephews again and just try to mourn the best we could i guess . The 20th was my gfs birthday. So we went and took a small ride over to patrick airforce base and tried to get close to nasa as possible. Her being from colorado , being a small town girl, i expected the space coast to drop her panties... shes been coast to coast with me now. Ive back tracked states and revisited once homeless locations and took her squat shopping in nola, and we have fucked in hotels on both coast and most points in between. Ive pissed in the Pacific, the atlantic, the golf of mexico and half the great lakes. We been places together and its a damn nice thing. "Maybe i can have nice things?"
So we watched the sunrise together... went to "corys bagels" (if you know, you know) and tooled around my childhood home of west melbourn/brevard county.
The celebration of life was nice.
Its heartbreaking to see a lovedones life summerized into 4 sentences and we where lucky enough that my sister worked for a great local bussiness called "mallabar moes" and they have a local band called "twisted minds inc" and they did a very nice set for my sister and she is 1 of 2 people in the history of moes bar, to be indited into their hall of fame. So i guess thats cool . Her pictures on the wall. Its a nice gesture for a hardworking employee. Very nice.
So this is all in feburary basicly. And i head home and guys... i dunno. I lost so much you know. First my cousin. Then my uncle. Then my brother. Then my cousin. Then my sister.
Im litterally the last male survivor of my clan thats of repoducable age. And i dont want kids. Neither does my lady.
So here i am. The "last" of my bloodline.
I got a couple brothers, but their not elliotts. Im the last elliott. And if i breed with kat, ill be the last anglo saxon male elliott. Cause if me and her have a baby, like... he gonna be a lil tanner than the rest of the family. And bye bye blue eyes. Lol maybe a little lighter than her side... lol im down, i just aint trying to will it into being. We both wanna eat steak and lobster and die of high cholesterol drinking wine by the ocean and shit lol we aint trying to have kids and fuck that up lol .
So there i am, back in colorado. My lease with her is about to run out cause april 1st is fishing season and rafting season and i dont live inside if i can help it. Fuck rent money.. i can be buying lobster and sushi and shit. 1200 a month for a box to keep my shit in .... HA!
So..there i am, trying to sell this clapped out rv, trying to build out this box truck.
Trying to get my affairs in order so i can come down to florida and spend the summer with my neices and nephews whom i hardly know.
My girlfriends family blows up at me. Im now 86d from the family. Me and my girl are tight. Solid. But her family thinks im shit now for some reason. Like, theres a language barrier, but ...their not 1st generation mexicans ok. They from new mexico. Like 3 generations now. My girlfriemd cant speak spanish at all. But she can hearand understand it. Her grandmother refuses to speak english with me. Absolutly refuses. I gotta learn spanish if i want to talk to her. And if i dont.... im just shit in her eyes.
My homegirl and best friend of like 12 years... she snaps at me, tells me i need to get all my shit off her property befor i go. Like for real? All of a sudden, when i go to direct my help to a more noble cause, all of a sudden, my toys are a eye sore and a inconvenience to be stored on her property. Why people gotta be like that? Make my already difficult life , even that much more difficult.
So i had a shed i made, that i had to discard, which , coincidentally became shelves and a bedframe and a power wall inside my box truck.
Salvaged most of the 100$ worth of screws i used. I managed to buy a drift trike. Its got a little 212cc motor on it.
I upgraded some stuff. Put bigger tires on it. Swapped out the mongoose forks for a triple tree.
I got L16 floor sweeper batteries. And 450w solar array.
I got a composting toilet (basicly just a fancy bucket if you dont live in a closed ecosystem), a instahot hot water heater, and a 55gal drum for water. I got a colman propane fridge, and my desktop gaming computer (ark survivor evolved)[steam user] and a laptop.
I got all this shit crammed into this box... i cant help but think of robin williams in Aladdin... hes genie, talking about his lamp(rather metaphorically if i do say so) [its entirly possible im a narcissist]
And hes like "im the most extreme powerful being in the universe....all crammed into a tiny itty bitty living space" .....
Here i am, about to play genie to some really fucked up kids, and i hope i can make most of their wishes come true.
So any way, i finally get rid of the rv , i move into the box truck, i stash my pick up at a buddies, i hit the road... here i go... coming off a rocky mountain high with the momentum of a avalanche (butthole surfers-pepper) i hit the missouri state line with out stopping for nothing besides gas and the bottom drops out. Its 7am and here it comes a flood.
In other news, couple years ago, i went and tried to ignore my ex and just be a part of my kids life, and my car caught fire and i lost a very expensive audi wagon while trying to cross an otherwise flooded missouri river.... so me and that point... got history...
Fuck you lincoln nebraska... no weed smoking bumble fuck town.
So here i am, trying to cross from KC kansas, into Missouri..and its raining cats and dogs.. and my cab leaks. My fucking cab has water dripping in on me, i might as well roll the window down and hang my head out the window.
Im absolutly fucking soaked. The defroster can only do so much. 6 hrs to nashville.
It rained...all the way .. . . To fucking nashville.
I get to my moms house in fayetteville. Stay a week.
Kinda fall ill.
Mama says its allergies.
Everybody got it this time of year.
Hi family... those that could, did...and the rest, i dunno.. dont expect me to try hard to help you when i just drove 1200 miles and you cant drive 20. I get 9 MPG in this e350 ....thats not good. Its average...but not good.
So im at mamas. Not really sick, but kinda ill. Nothing note worthy.
Spend a week at mamas, see who i could, fix my leaky cab, show off my "bunkhouse" to those interested and just buying time for my aunt lynn to shit or get off the pot in regards to her moving belongings from illionois to live oak florida.(she requested i help unload her uhaul) so we get the gohead from lynn shes leaving that weekend, and i head out.
Love yah mama, see you soon mama, yah ill have fun with the kids like ted did us when we was little. Yah mama, im ok.. ill be alright. Just allergies.
Get to grannies here in live oak.
(Ive done hulaween, spirit of swannee is kick ass)
Granny needs some trees cut. Since james is dead and my dad dont wanna come around now, and my uncle brads son is dead and he is disabled, theres nobody to help granny, and at 80 years old, she aint no springchicken. So , since i could use a place to park, and she needs some trees cut, we gonna do our own trade labor thingy. Granny says she gonna give somebody else the money if i dont do the work, so... might as well get paid ... so here i am... live oak florida.
My girlfriend calls me. She been ill too. We both think its allergies.
We went to moab together with some friends 4 days prior to me leaving colorado. Had a great time. 2nd visit to arches national park. Had a blast.
Girlfriend calls me, say hey babe, i tested positive for covid. SHIT. So i go get tested, im positive. No real symptoms. But still kinda ill.
So now im stuck here at my 80 yo grandmother who refuses to get vaccinated, and basicly hands me a lit bowl every 30 sec like... hey..
You do realize im contagious right...
She dont give 2 shits... lol she aint getting vaccinated and dont care to smoke a pipe with her viral grandson...
Like... how fucking dope is your granny, cause mine.... got that old lady game on point.rocking those black old lady glasses, riding around in a oldlady campervan, swerving high off pot, keepin it between the mustard and ththe mayonnaise. Lol ... im like ... GRANNY... your hitting a bowl behind a statetrooper..she looked at me and was like....does it look like i give a shit. Lol for real yalll... granny is a beast.
Any way, here i am. Stuck at grannies. But am i stuck?
Im 1 mile from the suwannee river.
I caught covid back in utah, 4 days befor i gave up my address.
I downsized from a 27ft disaster, to a 10ft tinbox/bunkhouse/toyhauler/hobo mansion.
I gave up colorado rainbow trout for florida bluegill and large mouth smallies.
I made good choices over the last few years. Bought solar, and tried to utilize my utilitarian brain to best suit my needs, which basicly depends on how fucking rad of a location do i live in.
Its been raining cats and dogs here for the last few days, so i cant cut no trees...but when i do , granny promised 100$ bills will pop out , and ill have gas money to get further down the road.
Folks... i dont know what your gonna take away from this, but i hope you will realize the capability of 1 person.
I have a 7th grade education. Im a junior high drop out.
Ive been incarcerated, labeled a convict, ive been addicted to drugs, i dont beleive in jesus or the story of christ. I beleive in my self tho. A whole hell of alot more than any body else does, except maybe my lady kat.
Ive ate out of trash cans in the dirtiest cities, and ate from the finest restaurants that vail and beaver creek colorado has to offer(were talking 1200$ plates and 4 course meals, @ 5k a person for dinner plus 20%grat.)
Ive climbed 14,000 feet, ive survived desolation gray, and smoked the finest hash coast to coast.
Its in you.
Some guy in a wheelchair, who had a buddy, they went to arches. He wanted to see windows. Its advertised wheel chair accessible. Its not. Its worn.the steps are not chair friendly. He made it half way. He decided to throw in the towl and head down.
I had already made it to the top and was headed down when i crossed his path.
We sat and talked. I offered to carry him all the way up to the top. Chair and all.
He was hesitant.
C'mon.
You got front row tickets to the best damn sunset ever, and all thats standing in your way is pride.
He poneyed up.
He let me carry him.
He was a young kid. Had a fear and loathing look about him.
He watched that sunset.
We watched it.
The carry down wasnt that easy either.
Some hot ass lady offered her buff boyfriend who was a vet. He wasnt to thrilled to be volunteered, but hey... she musta sucked a mean golf ball or something.
My point being, go out and chase your wildest dreams. Accept a little help when you need it, but dont let your limitations prevent you from success.
Thanks for your time.
You can check me out on fb at
/kidbob.
Ive uploaded some pics. No particular order. Im on mobile, so i just kinda went back in the camera roll. Most of it is colorado. But theres the gossips in moab utah, the ice storm in tenn. My drift trikes transformation. The box truck and my solar array. Ice sculptures in breckinridge. Maybe a few pics of the upper colorado..mule deer,some elk and a bear.
My hair cut.
The st. Louis arch(ive got better pics somewhere) couple state signs.
And i swear to god, imma buy me a bandana one of these days. . . . . Some day soon.
How yall doing?
Imma do some quick summerizing here to fill in the last few years. To back fill, most know my cousin went missing 6 years ago do to criminal activity. No body, no weapon, no crime. Sad world we live in. Ive been a memeber of stp for what feels like an eternity now, and tbh, im very neglectful in my relationship with you guys. Dont have excuses, just been busy living large (IMO) and trying to be bigger than my problems.
Since jasons disappeared, ive lost my one of my favorite uncles, ted was known as troll and i keep his ashes in a vintage troll doll named "grandma".
I found out ted was dying directly after gaining cell service, while headed into town from rancho del rio. It was yarmony grass weekend and lemme tell yah.... those NOS tanks down by the river, where serving up ice cold phaddies all weekend long. I watched some yeehaw rocky mountain bluegrass manifest its self right there in the river bend, just off the banks of deep end.
Ted died 3 days later gasping for air that 3 days prior i was selling for 5$ a balloon.I was blessed to be able to jump on a airplane for the first time and attend his passing in melbourne florida.
Covid happened.
I had saved up enough loot, while working for the hospital, i was buying my gf and my mother an all expense trip to hawaii. I wanted to spend memorial weekend(my birthday) at the pearl harbor exhibit and see what hawaii was about. But covid happened, my mother got cold feet having never been on a plane and fearing being quarantined on an island(dont argue the pros with me, i tried yall) she decided not to go.
So me and my gf decided to tour the cali coast instead. Checking out the red woods, driving down the "1", stopping at every fruit stand we could buying cherries and getting fruit with lots of tah-jin powder on it.(my gf is spanish, but i love the shit out of that fruit and chilli).
We toured "so-cal" for the second time , landing in vegas litterally right as the "blm" movement happened. We pull up to the first red light and cars started opening doors. I had been on the road for god knows how long. I just wanted to get to my hotel so i could pee.
I dont watch tv. I had no clue. Zero fucks where given about dude not being able to breath. Im in florida right now and i STILL WEAR MY DAMN COLORADO SKI MASK. Its hot. I cant breath . I still wear it. And i still caught covid.
Any way.
Vegas was cool. The riots where fun.
There went my one chance for activism. But like all good things, i fucked it up. Too busy playing "Proper" tourist to give 2 shits about anybody. I just wanted to find one of them fake monks who hustle you for a beaded wristlet. Circus circus here i come... wahoooo... vegas was cool tho. Glad i didnt have to panhandle in one of those rediculas circles they have for spangers, but envious at the same time. Like... i didnt have the guts required to make it all the way to vegas as a dirty kid. Nor the drug addiction... but... here i was, crying my eyes out over my own success. Feeling pity for the crusty kid who just wants to trade a joke for a smoke and some spange for some change. And here i was... the recovered crusty. Having been there , done that, and i still wanted to sit and floss a patch like i was when i was 20.
Gf in tow, we puttered up to the 4 corners and made it to the gate right at sunrise. Covid closed all state parks. So much for getting to pee in 4 states at once right as the sunrised. Drove back to colorado on the 30th just long enough to find out we had to attend a graduation party that evening.
Graduation party commences, and i get a phone call. My dad's brother's daughters call me. They inform me that on the morning of the 31st at around 1230 am florida time, my brother james, attacked my dad, and my dad shot and killed my brother in self defense.
Great. Hell of a top off to a otherwise wild fucking birthday week.
On june 2nd, my cousins call me again. Their brother died the night befor. Having made it 1 day into his 30th year.
this all happened last year.
My sister calls me in december.
She says she wants to kill her self.
Shes pregnant with her 6th child and has the car picked out that shes gonna jump in front of.
Im like, hold the fuck up mel. Like, lemme send you some money for an abortion (she wouldnt adopt).
So shes like, fine, its 600 and i gotta have it today.
Im flabbergasted.
I hung up the phone not knowing what to do. I was headed to walmart to send her the money..... and i forgot.
I went to walmart, i handled my shit.. . . But i forgot to send her the money.
She didnt call me back, and days turned into weeks and december turned into valentines day. I call my mom and wish her a valentines day, she reminds me to call my sister. I forgot. Hung up the phone, got stoned amd forgot.
I wake up monday feb 15th to my mother crying screaming my name.
My sister has been struck by a car and was laying in icu braindead.
I do my best to calm my mother.
Ok mom, im gknna head to the airport right now. Ok mom i know she might not make it, but ill be there. Ok mom, i know i gotta come get you, be ready, im on my way, its 24 hrs straight to you, and 12 hrs from you to her. Yes mom, let everybody know we will be there in 72 hrs.
Ok mom. Love you mom.
I know. I know . I know.
Cant book a flight.
Every hippy and their mama is trying to get to new orleans for fucking mardi gras.
Way to go mel. You couldnt a picked a better fucking day to drop all your problems? Love you bunches, but shit... way to pick a date girl. I wont fucking forget.
It takes 24 hrs from the time i hung up the phone till i could get a flight. Thats 24/7 searching, having flight bookies search, doing everything i could to be on that next damn flight outta colorado to Nashville so i could rent a car and drive to my sisters bedside.
Her daughter pulled the plug 3 hrs after she was admitted.
Its been since ted died that i seen my sister.
Ill never see her again.
Ill never talk to her again.
Ill never _________ again.
Sad panda.
She left behind 5 kids. Her newborn was killed in the "accident".
3 girls 2 boys.
Im uncle jesse. Aka uncle kidbob. Pretty cool title. Hope im worthy and capable of living up to that name.
So any way.. . . . .
I get to my moms.
Tennessee just got hit by the biggest ice storm in 20 years. No rental cars available. Kinda sitting waiting with my thumb up my ass. My other cousin steve, he decided to let me barrow his truck. Decent diesle. Reliable. But he wont let me leave cause the ice. Hes worried about mont eagle. And i cant convince him that vail pass has mont eagle beat by a long shot. And vail pass is a daily drive for me.
Finally decides to let us go 3 days later... boom we hit the road.
In the meantime, back in colorado, i had some things brewing. April 1st is the first day of fishing. Gotta renew my liscense. Also, my fishing camp renewal was up. Wasnt sure if they would allow me to renew under this new managment and with covid and stuff. I can not express how damn lucky i was to have secured my spot at rancho del rio in bond colorado. New management came in and kicked everybody out. No more hippy parades and nitrous mafia and general fuckery. Good bye. No more parties, no more fun. You talk any more shit and were turning the boat around and your gonna row us home the whole way.
So i kinda waited and had a few grand and i was like... hey jimmy...
Lemme park my rv up on top the hill. I got security cameras. I dont tolerate hippy shit. He was like... cool, dont let nobody steal nothing....and gimmie your money up front. I was like sweat deal. Heres april 1st to october 31st. Every year. For the last 3 years. Caught some hippies stealing a car. Sweet. Got to see every festivsl out there up close and in person for free, just being the right person at the right time in the right place.
Boombox, magic beans, traveling mcourrys,yonder mountain string band, greensky bluegrass, the drunken hearts, left over salmon, trey anastasio,some version of the greatful dead, string cheese incident, and some others , im just overwhelemed with names in my retelling.
Anyway, april 1st is approaching, and im not sure if im going to be able to renew.
And when my job ended in december with the hospital, i managee to secure a sweet 10ft box truck with like, only 100k miles on it. Its fucking sweet. Its got a lift gate. Im fucking homeless, living in this tin box, and it has a fucking elevator. Im health concise tho, so i only let it down half way and tell everybody "i take the stairs" lmfao.
So im like, wtf do i do. I got this old 77 dodge sportsman motorhome that needs more love and money than i can afford to give it. It cost 800 just to scrap the damn thing.
I gutted what i wanted out of it, took all the electrical, the lights ,fans, damn near the sink, and built out the box truck.
I left the title signed on the dash and put an add out on fb. 24hrs later some guy told me he had it now.
Back to story...
So we head to florida and go do a celebration of life for my sister, meet a couple of the nieces and nephews again and just try to mourn the best we could i guess . The 20th was my gfs birthday. So we went and took a small ride over to patrick airforce base and tried to get close to nasa as possible. Her being from colorado , being a small town girl, i expected the space coast to drop her panties... shes been coast to coast with me now. Ive back tracked states and revisited once homeless locations and took her squat shopping in nola, and we have fucked in hotels on both coast and most points in between. Ive pissed in the Pacific, the atlantic, the golf of mexico and half the great lakes. We been places together and its a damn nice thing. "Maybe i can have nice things?"
So we watched the sunrise together... went to "corys bagels" (if you know, you know) and tooled around my childhood home of west melbourn/brevard county.
The celebration of life was nice.
Its heartbreaking to see a lovedones life summerized into 4 sentences and we where lucky enough that my sister worked for a great local bussiness called "mallabar moes" and they have a local band called "twisted minds inc" and they did a very nice set for my sister and she is 1 of 2 people in the history of moes bar, to be indited into their hall of fame. So i guess thats cool . Her pictures on the wall. Its a nice gesture for a hardworking employee. Very nice.
So this is all in feburary basicly. And i head home and guys... i dunno. I lost so much you know. First my cousin. Then my uncle. Then my brother. Then my cousin. Then my sister.
Im litterally the last male survivor of my clan thats of repoducable age. And i dont want kids. Neither does my lady.
So here i am. The "last" of my bloodline.
I got a couple brothers, but their not elliotts. Im the last elliott. And if i breed with kat, ill be the last anglo saxon male elliott. Cause if me and her have a baby, like... he gonna be a lil tanner than the rest of the family. And bye bye blue eyes. Lol maybe a little lighter than her side... lol im down, i just aint trying to will it into being. We both wanna eat steak and lobster and die of high cholesterol drinking wine by the ocean and shit lol we aint trying to have kids and fuck that up lol .
So there i am, back in colorado. My lease with her is about to run out cause april 1st is fishing season and rafting season and i dont live inside if i can help it. Fuck rent money.. i can be buying lobster and sushi and shit. 1200 a month for a box to keep my shit in .... HA!
So..there i am, trying to sell this clapped out rv, trying to build out this box truck.
Trying to get my affairs in order so i can come down to florida and spend the summer with my neices and nephews whom i hardly know.
My girlfriends family blows up at me. Im now 86d from the family. Me and my girl are tight. Solid. But her family thinks im shit now for some reason. Like, theres a language barrier, but ...their not 1st generation mexicans ok. They from new mexico. Like 3 generations now. My girlfriemd cant speak spanish at all. But she can hearand understand it. Her grandmother refuses to speak english with me. Absolutly refuses. I gotta learn spanish if i want to talk to her. And if i dont.... im just shit in her eyes.
My homegirl and best friend of like 12 years... she snaps at me, tells me i need to get all my shit off her property befor i go. Like for real? All of a sudden, when i go to direct my help to a more noble cause, all of a sudden, my toys are a eye sore and a inconvenience to be stored on her property. Why people gotta be like that? Make my already difficult life , even that much more difficult.
So i had a shed i made, that i had to discard, which , coincidentally became shelves and a bedframe and a power wall inside my box truck.
Salvaged most of the 100$ worth of screws i used. I managed to buy a drift trike. Its got a little 212cc motor on it.
I upgraded some stuff. Put bigger tires on it. Swapped out the mongoose forks for a triple tree.
I got L16 floor sweeper batteries. And 450w solar array.
I got a composting toilet (basicly just a fancy bucket if you dont live in a closed ecosystem), a instahot hot water heater, and a 55gal drum for water. I got a colman propane fridge, and my desktop gaming computer (ark survivor evolved)[steam user] and a laptop.
I got all this shit crammed into this box... i cant help but think of robin williams in Aladdin... hes genie, talking about his lamp(rather metaphorically if i do say so) [its entirly possible im a narcissist]
And hes like "im the most extreme powerful being in the universe....all crammed into a tiny itty bitty living space" .....
Here i am, about to play genie to some really fucked up kids, and i hope i can make most of their wishes come true.
So any way, i finally get rid of the rv , i move into the box truck, i stash my pick up at a buddies, i hit the road... here i go... coming off a rocky mountain high with the momentum of a avalanche (butthole surfers-pepper) i hit the missouri state line with out stopping for nothing besides gas and the bottom drops out. Its 7am and here it comes a flood.
In other news, couple years ago, i went and tried to ignore my ex and just be a part of my kids life, and my car caught fire and i lost a very expensive audi wagon while trying to cross an otherwise flooded missouri river.... so me and that point... got history...
Fuck you lincoln nebraska... no weed smoking bumble fuck town.
So here i am, trying to cross from KC kansas, into Missouri..and its raining cats and dogs.. and my cab leaks. My fucking cab has water dripping in on me, i might as well roll the window down and hang my head out the window.
Im absolutly fucking soaked. The defroster can only do so much. 6 hrs to nashville.
It rained...all the way .. . . To fucking nashville.
I get to my moms house in fayetteville. Stay a week.
Kinda fall ill.
Mama says its allergies.
Everybody got it this time of year.
Hi family... those that could, did...and the rest, i dunno.. dont expect me to try hard to help you when i just drove 1200 miles and you cant drive 20. I get 9 MPG in this e350 ....thats not good. Its average...but not good.
So im at mamas. Not really sick, but kinda ill. Nothing note worthy.
Spend a week at mamas, see who i could, fix my leaky cab, show off my "bunkhouse" to those interested and just buying time for my aunt lynn to shit or get off the pot in regards to her moving belongings from illionois to live oak florida.(she requested i help unload her uhaul) so we get the gohead from lynn shes leaving that weekend, and i head out.
Love yah mama, see you soon mama, yah ill have fun with the kids like ted did us when we was little. Yah mama, im ok.. ill be alright. Just allergies.
Get to grannies here in live oak.
(Ive done hulaween, spirit of swannee is kick ass)
Granny needs some trees cut. Since james is dead and my dad dont wanna come around now, and my uncle brads son is dead and he is disabled, theres nobody to help granny, and at 80 years old, she aint no springchicken. So , since i could use a place to park, and she needs some trees cut, we gonna do our own trade labor thingy. Granny says she gonna give somebody else the money if i dont do the work, so... might as well get paid ... so here i am... live oak florida.
My girlfriend calls me. She been ill too. We both think its allergies.
We went to moab together with some friends 4 days prior to me leaving colorado. Had a great time. 2nd visit to arches national park. Had a blast.
Girlfriend calls me, say hey babe, i tested positive for covid. SHIT. So i go get tested, im positive. No real symptoms. But still kinda ill.
So now im stuck here at my 80 yo grandmother who refuses to get vaccinated, and basicly hands me a lit bowl every 30 sec like... hey..
You do realize im contagious right...
She dont give 2 shits... lol she aint getting vaccinated and dont care to smoke a pipe with her viral grandson...
Like... how fucking dope is your granny, cause mine.... got that old lady game on point.rocking those black old lady glasses, riding around in a oldlady campervan, swerving high off pot, keepin it between the mustard and ththe mayonnaise. Lol ... im like ... GRANNY... your hitting a bowl behind a statetrooper..she looked at me and was like....does it look like i give a shit. Lol for real yalll... granny is a beast.
Any way, here i am. Stuck at grannies. But am i stuck?
Im 1 mile from the suwannee river.
I caught covid back in utah, 4 days befor i gave up my address.
I downsized from a 27ft disaster, to a 10ft tinbox/bunkhouse/toyhauler/hobo mansion.
I gave up colorado rainbow trout for florida bluegill and large mouth smallies.
I made good choices over the last few years. Bought solar, and tried to utilize my utilitarian brain to best suit my needs, which basicly depends on how fucking rad of a location do i live in.
Its been raining cats and dogs here for the last few days, so i cant cut no trees...but when i do , granny promised 100$ bills will pop out , and ill have gas money to get further down the road.
Folks... i dont know what your gonna take away from this, but i hope you will realize the capability of 1 person.
I have a 7th grade education. Im a junior high drop out.
Ive been incarcerated, labeled a convict, ive been addicted to drugs, i dont beleive in jesus or the story of christ. I beleive in my self tho. A whole hell of alot more than any body else does, except maybe my lady kat.
Ive ate out of trash cans in the dirtiest cities, and ate from the finest restaurants that vail and beaver creek colorado has to offer(were talking 1200$ plates and 4 course meals, @ 5k a person for dinner plus 20%grat.)
Ive climbed 14,000 feet, ive survived desolation gray, and smoked the finest hash coast to coast.
Its in you.
Some guy in a wheelchair, who had a buddy, they went to arches. He wanted to see windows. Its advertised wheel chair accessible. Its not. Its worn.the steps are not chair friendly. He made it half way. He decided to throw in the towl and head down.
I had already made it to the top and was headed down when i crossed his path.
We sat and talked. I offered to carry him all the way up to the top. Chair and all.
He was hesitant.
C'mon.
You got front row tickets to the best damn sunset ever, and all thats standing in your way is pride.
He poneyed up.
He let me carry him.
He was a young kid. Had a fear and loathing look about him.
He watched that sunset.
We watched it.
The carry down wasnt that easy either.
Some hot ass lady offered her buff boyfriend who was a vet. He wasnt to thrilled to be volunteered, but hey... she musta sucked a mean golf ball or something.
My point being, go out and chase your wildest dreams. Accept a little help when you need it, but dont let your limitations prevent you from success.
Thanks for your time.
You can check me out on fb at
/kidbob.
Ive uploaded some pics. No particular order. Im on mobile, so i just kinda went back in the camera roll. Most of it is colorado. But theres the gossips in moab utah, the ice storm in tenn. My drift trikes transformation. The box truck and my solar array. Ice sculptures in breckinridge. Maybe a few pics of the upper colorado..mule deer,some elk and a bear.
My hair cut.
The st. Louis arch(ive got better pics somewhere) couple state signs.
And i swear to god, imma buy me a bandana one of these days. . . . . Some day soon.
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