Borderline personality disorder (1 Viewer)

croc

Wise Sage
Joined
Aug 24, 2017
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330
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Roads n rails
Any other hoes out here with bpd who wanna share info/resources/etc so we can try to be Less Crazy™ together?

Anyone have bpd but learned how to manage it without medication?

Anyone "not have bpd anymore" ? Idk some people say u can be "cured" or "grow out of it" with time and therapy since it's usually a trauma response. Idk if I believe that to be true but it sure would be nice because this is A W F U L A N D I W O U L D L I K E T O N O T B E T H I S


Here's some bpd memes:
 

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roamingsnake

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Disclaimer: AGH so the last time I was inpatient, my therapist says to me that I'm showing a lot of symptoms of bpd and we should talk about it. I agree, bring it up multiple times, and get discharged before we ever actually do, so I'm not officially diagnosed. I also deal with imposter syndrome, so basically always questioning whether I *really* experience these symptoms or whether I *really* have major Depressive disorder, so the short version is:

I experience all the symptoms, as told by multiple friends AND therapists, but since I was never diagnosed I feel that I can't comment without expressly pointing out the context.

--

So anyway, as far as dealing with symptoms, I've found that what works best for me is journaling and (highly uncomfortable) conversation. For example, if I'm starting to obsess over the fact that my partner might only be telling me that they like my conversations but really find me annoying and boring as shit... I confront that.

If I'm having trouble verbalizing, I write that shit down in a letter and text them about the fact that I have it before I can chicken out. Usually, the anxiety of waiting for them to read overpowers and I end up word vomiting my worries all over the place. I tell them bluntly that, "I worry you actually find me annoying and uninteresting, and I know it's probably not true, but I can't help but obsess and it's making me feel really insecure." I might then explain my rationalizations.

If I can't talk to other people, that's where the Journaling REALLY plays a role. I know when I'm in a state/heavily symptomatic, I'm not in a logical headspace. Logging my experiences and feelings can help me map out what's going on and work on the patterns and traps that I fall into. It helps me feel productive about my issues and enables me to problem solve more effectively.

Above all, I try to remember that I won't always be successful, but that I DO learn from my mistakes, even when it feels like I'm cycling. Acknowledging it is the first step, and taking action, however small, is extremely difficult and very important at any size.

I try to apply this to other areas (when I'm depressed, anxious, etc), and I find that communication and writing are great for feeling less stuck.
 
Joined
Jun 13, 2020
Messages
19
Location
Minneapolis
Disclaimer: AGH so the last time I was inpatient, my therapist says to me that I'm showing a lot of symptoms of bpd and we should talk about it. I agree, bring it up multiple times, and get discharged before we ever actually do, so I'm not officially diagnosed. I also deal with imposter syndrome, so basically always questioning whether I *really* experience these symptoms or whether I *really* have major Depressive disorder, so the short version is:

I experience all the symptoms, as told by multiple friends AND therapists, but since I was never diagnosed I feel that I can't comment without expressly pointing out the context.

--

So anyway, as far as dealing with symptoms, I've found that what works best for me is journaling and (highly uncomfortable) conversation. For example, if I'm starting to obsess over the fact that my partner might only be telling me that they like my conversations but really find me annoying and boring as shit... I confront that.

If I'm having trouble verbalizing, I write that shit down in a letter and text them about the fact that I have it before I can chicken out. Usually, the anxiety of waiting for them to read overpowers and I end up word vomiting my worries all over the place. I tell them bluntly that, "I worry you actually find me annoying and uninteresting, and I know it's probably not true, but I can't help but obsess and it's making me feel really insecure." I might then explain my rationalizations.

If I can't talk to other people, that's where the Journaling REALLY plays a role. I know when I'm in a state/heavily symptomatic, I'm not in a logical headspace. Logging my experiences and feelings can help me map out what's going on and work on the patterns and traps that I fall into. It helps me feel productive about my issues and enables me to problem solve more effectively.

Above all, I try to remember that I won't always be successful, but that I DO learn from my mistakes, even when it feels like I'm cycling. Acknowledging it is the first step, and taking action, however small, is extremely difficult and very important at any size.

I try to apply this to other areas (when I'm depressed, anxious, etc), and I find that communication and writing are great for feeling less stuck.
No idea what I have but it's something, just wanna say journaling had helped me immeasurably as well. Especially a technique called direct writing, where you just word vomit onto paper without even forming thoughts first. Many times I've let stuff out that I was bottling up without even realizing it that way.
 

Daisy

Rambler
Joined
Sep 28, 2018
Messages
24
Location
america
I definitely have extreme bipolar and appreciate this thread alot. Like @roamingsnake said I struggle to communicate, especially/specifically through texts or posts because I physically presume negatively or hostility mentally initially. @croc the 1st, 3rd, and 5th pictures hit all the way home for me without a doubt. If anyone's curious to how this shit has me seeing and treating myself I recommend viewing my resent post :(.... I'm honestly not sure how much more I can take. Also medless but I do see therapy.
 
Joined
Jun 13, 2020
Messages
19
Location
Minneapolis
I definitely have extreme bipolar and appreciate this thread alot. Like @roamingsnake said I struggle to communicate, especially/specifically through texts or posts because I physically presume negatively or hostility mentally initially. @croc the 1st, 3rd, and 5th pictures hit all the way home for me without a doubt. If anyone's curious to how this shit has me seeing and treating myself I recommend viewing my resent post :(.... I'm honestly not sure how much more I can take. Also medless but I do see therapy.
:( I hope you can get back on the horse and keep drawing, sorry you have to go through that
 

Mongoliito

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Joined
Jun 16, 2020
Messages
10
Location
Washington
onlly slightly related because mental disorder but i was bi polar. maybe it was a misdiagnosis and really it was major depressive disorder who knows but yeah it went away when i started praying every night. not pushing an agenda, just saying i tried things to better my life and found something that worked for me and the bipolar issues cleared up ive now been 4+ months without any episodes. i do still have some pretty deep apathy and personal issues but no more bi polar and life is much more tolerable and even more enjoyable. i think it was def a coping issue of mine that i grew out of
 

roamingsnake

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Joined
May 30, 2020
Messages
21
Age
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New Jersey
No idea what I have but it's something, just wanna say journaling had helped me immeasurably as well. Especially a technique called direct writing, where you just word vomit onto paper without even forming thoughts first. Many times I've let stuff out that I was bottling up without even realizing it that way.
I think this is where you can get some of the best insight; when you're not trying to edit as you write or write for any kind of audience (including yourself), more likely to be a bit more honest.

Additionally, keeping up with the positive coping skills is vital to maintaining and improving. This is one of the biggest ones: DON'T STOP USING POSITIVE SKILLS/MEDS/AFFIRMATIONS/ETC JUST BECAUSE YOU FEEL BETTER.

Part of the reason why you feel better is directly related to how you manage your methods. I know so, so many people--myself included--who stopped using positive coping skills or went slack with them because they felt better, then ended up right back in the hospital not too far down the road.

Meds are another big one; being responsible with them is important. Sometimes, you just can't afford them anymore, and if you try EVERYTHING else and still can't scrounge up enough, taper, taper, taper. Research the med you're using Extensively, talk to a medical professional if you can, and take it slowly.
 

roamingsnake

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May 30, 2020
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Age
22
Location
New Jersey
I Love lamp? I love floor?
Stop looking at things and just saying you love them
That isn't what I was saying at all, and I'm not sure where you got that from. I'm specifically discussing how using the good coping skills a person has found works for them specifically (such as those listed) as opposed to only falling back on bad coping skills (substance abuse, self harm, isolating, etc) is necessary for maintaining good mental health hygiene. If you're referring to my mention of affirmations...

They work for some people, and the idea isn't to look at random things at all. That's actually completely contrary to the point.
 

roamingsnake

Newbie
Joined
May 30, 2020
Messages
21
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It was a joke from the movie anchorman with Will Ferrell
My mistake! I am very much out of touch with a an embarrassing amount of movies, and got a little bit confused. One of those that I intended to watch but never got around to (I am very easily confused). Thank you for clarifying!

EDIT: Typos
 

Mongoliito

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Joined
Jun 16, 2020
Messages
10
Location
Washington
I think the world is a giant testing grounds. I'm starting my walk from e one corner of Washington to the other today. I'll ttyl
 

dprogram

Wanderer
Joined
May 31, 2011
Messages
592
Location
Riverdale Park, United States
Any other hoes out here with bpd who wanna share info/resources/etc so we can try to be Less Crazy™ together?

Anyone have bpd but learned how to manage it without medication?

Anyone "not have bpd anymore" ? Idk some people say u can be "cured" or "grow out of it" with time and therapy since it's usually a trauma response. Idk if I believe that to be true but it sure would be nice because this is A W F U L A N D I W O U L D L I K E T O N O T B E T H I S


Here's some bpd memes:
BPD - what a horrific feeling it must be. I recently had to get out of a 5-6 year relationship with a grrl who exhibited those symptoms.

My suggestionps is to get the Dialectical Behavior Therapy Workbook. I have PTSD, ADHD, anxiety, depression, etc. It teaches you to catch yourself in your "moment"then deal with it in a better manner. It's hard work. But very helpful. I wish you the best! Peace

 
OP
croc

croc

Wise Sage
Joined
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Messages
330
Location
Roads n rails
@dprogram
The best way I can describe bpd before learning to manage it was that my insides, everything inside me, was screaming screaming screaming and I had to just try to function thru it. So yeah, it fuckin sucked lol. But with hella therapy n finally the right diagnosis and right medication, it got a lot easier.

i honestly never considered buying the workbook but that not a bad idea. If u have one, are u able to tell me about the size/weight? I live on the road so that part is a factor for me.
I currently have some worksheets from my last therapist. Instead of writing on them, I write my answers or whatever on another paper so I can reuse the worksheet and also show other ppl without them seeing my personal shit.

My therapist wasn't trained in dbt but she worked with me on it in whatever ways she could. But the dbt stuff really has helped a lot. Until recently I was on Lamictal and am just about weaned off now. It's just scary to lose that like... Moment of hesitation that I have when I'm medicated before making impulsive decisions. It's been harder to manage anger and anxiety. But still manageable.
 
OP
croc

croc

Wise Sage
Joined
Aug 24, 2017
Messages
330
Location
Roads n rails
Additionally, keeping up with the positive coping skills is vital to maintaining and improving. This is one of the biggest ones: DON'T STOP USING POSITIVE SKILLS/MEDS/AFFIRMATIONS/ETC JUST BECAUSE YOU FEEL BETTER.

Part of the reason why you feel better is directly related to how you manage your methods. I know so, so many people--myself included--who stopped using positive coping skills or went slack with them because they felt better, then ended up right back in the hospital not too far down the road.
THIS.
 

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