Anxiety/Insomnia-ish Depression

[Deleted member 2626]

so the last week or so, after spending a few weeks partying with an older uncle, cocaine and drinking heavily, and anti anxiety pills to get to sort of sleep four or five nights when on cocaine, stupid stupid, my mind sort of hit a bad spot and I am paying. While doing this I had anxiety and was too stupid to really just say no.
I have had trouble getting to sleep and staying down, anxiety in spurts throughout the day and when trying to go to sleep. It seems to be getting better though, I have pretty much quit drinking altogether the last week now and have vowed to never touch hard drugs again and get away from the bad influences anyway, going back to eating mostly vegetarian and a little yoga and more water and herbal teas. I believe it is basically a chemical imbalance due to my poor diet and intake of drugs and alcohol. its just taking a while to balance back out.
I have had benders where for a week or more I have depression but this one has really been a bitch and a life lesson. I even cried a few times with my dog while alone a few days, thank god for the mutt.
But little sounds will keep me from falling asleep as well as I used to and my mind just turns on and spins. But I can say luckily I do sleep.
Curious if anyone has had to learn the hard way?
I had planned to spend the summer and winter on my land and surrounding mountains in penna. but now have decided to hit the road in a Honda civic my mom is giving me use of to go back to Oregon, see my dad and sister and may be meet up with some people I have been meaning to.
Say no to drugs and what do you got to lose being good to yourself? any input and commiseration is appreciated, will insomnia go away?

 

[wokofshame]

ey man i really didn't sleep much all november-december-january, it really does go hand-in-hand with depression. That whole time I was also suicidal, I don't feel like talking about it with family and I have only a few friends I can barely discuss it with.
Actually the internet is the only place I discuss it openly.
Having goals and meaningful shit to do helps. Also of course exercise and travel.
As far as drugs go, have you tried kava-kava? The shit is actually surprisingly potent and really does the trick.
Whenever I find myself asking "what's the point of life" is when i know i'm depressed, i feel it's a curse for those of us that are cerebral, I mean, so many people are just so fucking vapid and never question anything in their lives. At least we're not them.

 

[Koala]

Yeah definitely sounds like a depressive episode/anxiety thing. I'd never had depressive insomnia til my most recent episode dec/jan/feb of this year. No matter what time I fell asleep (midnight, 1, 2, 3am, usually after a few hours of racing thoughts/crying), I would wake up at pretty much 7am on the dot. I'd never been so exhausted longterm. I'd always been so good at sleeping so it was horrible.

I think the fact that it's getting warmer with longer days will help you, and yeah definitely avoiding drugs and alcohol. Perhaps seeing family will be good as well.

As for sleeping, I would use ear plugs sometimes or fall asleep with headphones and some instrumental/soft music.

I reached out to friends, did some writing, and tried to be patient and take care of myself as best I could. Eventually, things just evened out for me and I was able to get restful sleep.

Wishing you some good sleep soon, dude

 

[siid]

im wondering the same thing dude.

ive had insomnia for 10 years and it really does feel like i havent slept in 10 years. along with depression/anxiety for the same amount of years, my brain decided to conjure these things up at the same time, i thought it was a phase due to puberty and hormonal changes well guess what, 10 years later, ITS NOT. Haha

the times i sleep, i dont wake up feeling well rested at all. And im a light sleeper so i always wake up. I can very specifically remember maybe 3 times in the last 10 years where i woke up feeling well rested and i was like woah, is this sleep? Ive never in my life slept an entire 6+ hours straight. I dont even know how thats possible or how other people can do that.

however, i fall asleep faster, sleep better, wake up feeling slightly more energized when i sleep outside on the street or whatever. i go to bed early and rise with the sun. But when im indoors, nope, no sleep. is there a difference in the quality of your sleep when your indoors/outdoors ?

ive tried tons of things bad and good just to be able to sleep a lil bit, hard drugs, xanax, drinking but its not real sleep and usually wake up feeling worse. I will list some stuff and things , herbs, techniques, or whateva, things ive tried in my years of research misery and sorrow to no avail haha and ill take some pix of stuff i have and post them although you might have already tried or read about some of these things so
UNO MOMENTO POR FAVOR

 

[BelleBottoms]

My huz and I went thru some shit that had the docs throwing every name there is in anxiety drugs our way.
Huz got off them first. He was all anxiety/ ptsd, no depression. Had to smoke weed/ drink himself to sleep every night for about a year and a half.
I got off them about a year after he did. My cocktail included treatment for anxiety/ ptsd/ depression, plus speed to keep me awake at work. My withdrawl included seizures (1 big, and 1 mini) and 6 to 8 months of insomnia.

Our prescribed brands and dosages were different, and were for different durations. We both went through months of "trial & error testing" to find the drug brands that worked best. (Pro tip: they all suck, sooner or later.)

I'm not medically trained at all, so take this with a grain of salt. But because we were both on anti-anxiety drugs, and both experienced serious insomnia after quitting, I can't help but think there's correlation there.

 

[siid]

- teas like chamomile before bed. theres blends of herbs specifically for sleep. Doesnt work for me in the slightest. Haha

- tinctures for anxiety/depressed kava kava, valerian root, passionflower, mixtures of all three

Also does not work for me.

- melatonin. Also melatonin blends with other stuff.

this ones a blend of calcium magnesium valerian root hops chamomile passionflower taurine melatonin

this one is a mix of melatonin chamomille lemon balm valerian and lavender

Sounds like a grand ol time right well guess what they put me to sleep for like an hour then im WIDE AWAKE hahahahaha i dont even know if im laughinf or crying anymore Lmfao

This i have mixed feelings about because i think it might have actually helped me sleep but i was also drinking at the time along with this so it burned a hole right through my gut and the bowels of my soul but i also have a stomach disease so it was probably just the alcohol and was stupid to mix both. Dont think this alone will cause that much damage after just a handful of times, maybe over a long period of time.

-I’m not one for medication or chemicals, but sometimes your desperate to sleep and natural things arent strong enough. I was going to try ambien, the lowest dosage is 5mg i think, but I dont like the idea of it.

-no cellphone/laptop/tv before bed, the light fucks up your sleep.

-meditating. Thats a difficult one.

-yoga before bed, which youve said youve been doin

-naping in the daytime even 20 min is said to be energizing but i am biased because my parents are hispanic so daytime sleeping was never allowed in my house Haha so i think sleeping in the daytime is a bad habit and will just fuck up a sleep cycle how ever nonexistant it may be lol

i think also ive developped a sense of distate for people that sleep normally because how can you do that? and why? Where did you get this habit to sleep? im not really compatible with people who sleep hahaha Especially day time sleepers, THE WORST!! hahaha

sometimes i think im gonna have a heart attack. ::woot::

Anyways, @Tatanka , and whoever else is having sleeping problems, i hope you find what works for you. Glad you’ve quit drinking and have been proactive in doing right by yourself, dude. Oh yeah, also chemical imbalances. Yep, that’ll do it. And also im glad your dog is there for you and that you find solace in him, lucky to both have eachother.

Let me know if you find the answers out there.:: im open to trying stuff as im also looking solutions.

 

[caffine addict]

I got Insomnia too, had it for several years. It sometimes triggers and I would always know when I have insomnia because of my heart beat.

 

[Deleted member 125]

everyone else covered what i was gonna say that its most likely related to the partying. i havnt had good luck with natural sleep stuff like melatonin the only thing that seems to help is exercise. ive found that if im really physically exhausted my brain will calm down a bit and i can sleep more then 2 or 3 hours at a time. also eating poorly can make anxiety/depression symptoms worse, which i think is kinda strange since when im not feeling to hot all i wanna do is eat shit fast food but in reality its best to stay away from that kinda thing.

hope yer feeling better man, gotta take care of yerself.

 

[Deleted member 2626]

Thanks for replies everyone. Good to relate to anyone. Well my sleep cycle is fuck d up it seems. I'll lay down at say ten nearly fall asleep and come right out and that continues a bit till I'm laying trying to sleep for hours than probaby 2 or 3 I start to settle and have a sleep till, actually later now, but not great sleep and I don' wake up in my typically happy mood. Yeah 5mg melatonin ain' working much along with sleepytime tea but a couple beers helps a bit but has to be timed well. I won' go synthetic that's not an answer for me. I believe I'll get back to my regular cycle, I've never had this problem before and only really depression when on anything for too long booze etc. My anxiety comes like once a day now and lingers a bit but my dog, movement - such as said, seems to help. So like I said fuck it, I'll just hit the road and get to Oregon and time and travel will heal. Unfortunately passing cars and machine sounds sort of.keep me up, such as last night but my heartbeat only picked up when I moved around a lot. I used to.be able to sleep next to.a highway in a parking lot and feel good in the a.m. things change as we age I reckon. I figure I'll try to find some good remote places and hang time there. Thanks for replies all. Hang in there folks. Think on your age and what could change in weeks or months let alone a year.

 

[Deleted member 125]

i hear ya man, 5mg doesnt do shit. i take 4 or 5 of these sometimes and still cant sleep more then a few hours.

 

[Deleted member 2626]

Oh ha okay yeah I thought about a few and haven' tried it. I think I got a spotty 6, 7 to 8 last night may be. Excersise helps I think, but I did ten or eleven miles the other day and still struggled. I'm gonna stay positive it'll pass and keep on. Since I imbalanced my chemical self for weeks I think it'll take weeks of decent eating, good teas and supplements to find some sort of balance. Then I think I'll get back to footing it in oregon a bit to meet some folks for the excesses and mind consumer travel can be. Love and luck to all. I appreciate the commiseration leaving, this evening cross country again yeeha baby

 

[Deleted member 2626]

I think too I'll get back into edibles in oregon and see how that goes if I'm not evened out by then

 

[caffine addict]

I think too I'll get back into edibles in oregon and see how that goes if I'm not evened out by then

[Message deleted]

 

[Deleted member 2626]

Nope I left an 8th oregon home grown in my cabin to get away from all stimulants awhile. Where are you that that'd even work

 

[caffine addict]

Nope I left an 8th oregon home grown in my cabin to get away from all stimulants awhile. Where are you that that'd even work

[Message deleted]

 

[Deleted member 2626]

Oh yeah where in oregon

 

[Deleted member 2626]

@wokofshame i agree on the being an organic human but I don’t want to feel the anxiety I did again so will put off drugs. I’m done with that and heavy drinking if it’s gonna fuck up my system now. I guess as we age things change

 

[Deleted member 2626]

Bump. How’s everyone doing. I had a great stretch of decent days with decent sleep but kind poopy today again with troubled sleep last night but didn’t wake up shitty but came on today. Didn’t realize it’s only been a month. Most I’ve drank is a half bottle of wine at night for two nights. Red wine and valerian really knock me down. But I still pledge to not get on that train again. Didn’t realize it’s been only a month. Seeing how it can take months to even out I will prevail. Any bump replies appreciated love to all

 

[Deleted member 2626]

Also trying lemon balm for the first time tonight mixed with valerian I read is okay. I won’t do meds because as someone else posted it never ends good. Also meeting older people who tell me you’ll be fine and have been through rough patches a lot really fuck Helps. Telling me the ups and down will come but be strong and when someone relates that is comforting at times and good to remember

 

[Deleted member 125]

thats whats up man glad to hear yer doing better. ive heard people having pretty good results with valerian but dont recall ever trying it myself.