man it sucks to be plaqued with this shit,,i know what your going through… actually i dont becuase im not you but im sure it sucks. butno matter what, to me atleast kicking , whenitihnk about it, is a much happier time then going on with your addiction contemplating suicide eveeryday and hoping you dont wake up
Hang in there man... I can't say I know what its like... I can only talk about drinking... and I know I have that to a fucking art... I get days when I wake up with the DT's...Delirium Tremens... shakes and racing thoughts... I think... that's just started recently...
It sucks cuz it makes me paranoid and shit...
fuck... anyway... whatever it is we gotta deal with we gotta deal with it.
i just got back from an NA meeting a couple hours ago.... i mean you said you been through the program before (i assume you were talkin about NA/AA) and i dont know what opinions youve formed about all that but yeah...maybe get to a meetin and speak up and talk to some folks?... i'm livin in a sober living apt deal right now... 4 months sober/clean ..... i dunnoman... not much in the way of advice here...but i feel your pain.....been battlin with alcoholism for a while.....gotinto a hairy situation this weekend with my ladyfreind and buddy bein drunk and doing suboxone around me...fucked me up inside, gonna domybest tonot put myselfin that position again..... i wish you the best man....whatever you do DON'T GIVE UP!!! if you reallywant to stay clean, keep that feeling strong inside of you, let the feeling of wanting to be free from that shit fill you up... keep it right in the forefront of your mind.... you CAN be free from it......try to get too down and wallow in your own shit(what i do all the time, even after getting sober) keep fightin that shit....it's the enemy..... keep postin on here
Yeah man Suboxone is a beast to quit... that's why when I quit I only take that for a day or two max and then just try to be sober. I wish you luck man, there is light at the end of the tunnel I suppose... depending on what you plan to do..
But in my case, I have a major problem. I don't see any future that I can deem worth living. I don't want to work in retail for the rest of my life, school stressed me out to the point where it's not worth it anymore, and fuck man I don't know what to do. I hate to be a whiner, so I try not to tell people about my problems and make people listen to me rant about how our society has fucked up all that is good in life. I don't know what to do...
BryanPaul, yeah I did the AA/NA route while I was in the halfway house and I was clean almost 2 years doing that shit... but I can't see living life without at least drinking... plus I don't want to believe in any sort of higher power because it's just against what I feel is right. I'm not against it, I believe if it works for you then go for it.. I'm pretty open to all ideas and philosophies. I really don't know what it is I should do....
If I could just be a house-husband (house-wife of the 50's, but male), I feel like I would be happy... maybe I can get into a situation like that. Yeah, I probably sound lazy, but man... I'm just trying to come up with ideas I'd be happy with here. Life is wearing me down.
There have been several posts in this thread that have been flagged for moderator review. Here is my take on the situation:
Squat the planet is a resourceful site. I can come out and tell you all openly, that I did heroin and cocaine intravenously. I understand that narcotics are a very touchy subject. Narcotics can be seen in many different lights, forms, fashions, aspects, and biases. However, I must advise those who are flagging posts to not use bureaucracy, judgement without reason, logic, and compassion. We are all human beings here, and some of us have more or less bumps in the road than our peers. It does not mean that we all are not human beings.
If you have a solution, and have personally executed the solution to the problem, offer CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. Bigotry, biased ideology without compassion or brute experience to back your statements, please hold your tongue, and heed the yearning for others to heart.
Do not have a flagfest on one another or vice versa due to one's views contradicting with your own. I would like to personally set foot and moderate this thread. I personally do not condone censorship, and have made the decision to leave the previous posts here.
What I ask of y'all folks is to calm down. Realize the words that you say to one another are not only just words, but your actions can affect the mindsets of your opposing party. I once was much more cocky, crude, and immoral than I am now; and emulating that behavior got me nowhere, if not it made me into a very dodgy individual. I was excluded from social events, frowned upon for being what I was; a jerk.
If this was happening in person at the campfire or out on the road, I would ask all the participating parties to either get there heads out of there ass on come together as people. Collaboration and education is more precious than destruction and despair. And if the parties refused, i would extract myself from the situation.
Squat the planet is a place of construction. A place for reference, research, experience, and wisdom. This is a place for all folks from all walks of nomadic, alternative, and positive ethical folks to congregate. Think of it as a virtual campfire, or a sidewalk wide enough for a group of pals to walk together. We gotta look out for one another and not slander and criticize people for different experiences without offering a positive outcome.
The Addiction threads are all HARM REDUCTION unless stated otherwise.
With this being said, and being a supporter of anti-propaganda and anti-censorship, I am leaving previous threads posted. If you have the maturity to calm the wake of your own wrath, than please exercise the freedoms of this site.
On another personal detail; I have been on both ends of the spectrum for IV and other schedule 1 narcotics and have successfully kicked dope. It is not the same for everyone. If anyone is interested, I will gladly post what I can offer. But only if the audience and participants of this thread can cut the bullshit.
wow crotch, i feel your pain man. i used to be a junky, but was able to quit cold turkey and finally stay off. i never did the n/a route, not my kinda thing. what worked for me, and maybe you are different - but i had to remove myself from the environment i was used to. meaning, i had to get the fuck out the westcoast and go somewhere i knew NO ONE. somewhere i knew no junkies, and didn't know where to find heroin. it's a lot harder quitting, when you walk down the same streets you used to cop on, and see the same junkies in your face. (you might have to leave your girlfriend, if she doesn't want to get clean as well). so i left for hawaii, and it seriously helped me stay off dope until eventually after several months passed, the urge to use slowly wore off. now, i don't even really think about dope at all. occasionally, i'll get nostaligic for it.....but i know my life has become exponentially better and more free now that i'm not strung out.
altho, while visiting an old friend (actually the first guy i ever shot up with) in seattle last year i did a shot or two of dope with him for old time's sake, and also because i was curious how i'd handle it. some people would call it relapse, but that's honestly not how i see it. what i mean is, it was kind of like a psychological test on myself. i wanted to see if i was really thru with H - and it was actually a good experience for me. i came to find, that i really was done with it. it wasn't really a big thrill for me anymore..... i don't know if any of what i'm sayin makes sense, i just woke up so may not be articulating myself correctly lol just hang in there man,
but yea, all the money you waste. and waking up sick everyday really sucks. it feels great to not be a slave to that shit anymore. but if you ever wanna talk i'm here for you. and i wasn't just a lightweight weekend user bro......for a while, i was selling on the streets all day long in capitol hill to supply my fix. spending hours everyday in space toilets and park bushes, getting blood all over myself cause i couldn't find a working vein left on my body.....asking a random crack head to shoot a shot of koolaid and crack into my neck.....spending all night walking the streets of downtown sanfrancisco searching for little pieces of crackrock someone might have dropped in the cracks of sidewalks...lol....yea, been there...been thru that hell. if you keep using dope, it will eventually always end up in 1 of 2 ways. prison or death.
The first $50 in donations go towards paying our monthly server fees and adding new features to the website. Once this goal is reached, we'll see about feeding Matt that burrito.
Buy Matt a Beer
$75.00 of $75.00
Now that we have the bills paid for this month, let's give Matt a hearty thank you by buying him a drink for all the hard work he's done for StP. Hopefully his will help keep him from going insane after a long day of squishing website bugs.
Feed Matt a Burrito
$100.00 of $100.00
Now that the bills are paid and Matt has a beer in his hand, how about showing him your love by rewarding all his hard work with a big fat burrito to put in his mouth. This will keep him alive while programming new features for the website.
Finance the Shopping Cart
$110.00 of $200.00
Now that the bills are paid and Matt is fed, perhaps it's time to start planning for those twilight years under the bridge... if only he had that golden shopping cart all the oogles are bragging about these days.
We are moving the jamboree to New Orleans this year due to some personal disagreements between myself and the lead organizer of the slab city library. Details can be found on the Jambo information thread.
nearly got arrested this morning for graffiti crime! I wrote"nice toilet, five stars will shit here again" and this fucking KID who looked like a fucking boy scout wanted to arrest me !?!?!?!?!?!? did I get that drunk I woke up in north korea this morning ?