Making a separate thread because it kicked off some old thought patterns and I actually want advice.
Love... I've loved alot. I spent alot of my life trying to teach others how to love... I grew up reading love poems, my favorite play was Romeo and Juliet.
I had many loves.
Then I had this... Period of self exploration and self awareness. Of... Introspection that was triggered by achieving a Level of intamicy within someone's mind that most may never know or understand.
I studied psychology, neurology, biology, sexuality, flirting, gender, relationships, hypnosis, bdsm, cults, CEOs and companies, corporations, religion education infrastructure, and the military. Every structure I could think of I picked apart. I read alot of self help books and psychology texts.... And found common threads... And it completely destroyed my ideas of love.
When you can completely classify human behavior, predict outcomes of actions, change someones literal brain with words and images and locations and smells and tastes and touch. Create associations and attach yourself to them so that person only thinks of you... And you can do it it at will.... And you've realized this is what you've been subconsciously doing your entirely life... That you've systematically brainwashed people... That you have followed a formula that is tried and true and tested without realizing it... That you can do this with any person... Anyone...
What is love anymore?
What is life when everyone around you becomes... "Programmable" and classifiable.
When you know ALL the right words to say... All the right move to make, tailored to a person's individual psychology. When you can make a blank slate of someone separate then from the state they existed in before... make them want more of you. Make them addicted to you...
And you don't want any of this... You don't want to know that what you are doing is taking a person... And changing their mind. You are triggering chemicals in the brain with actions that you are now, entirely aware of...
What is love then...
What is life then...
I wish I could forget everything, but at the same time, I want to forget nothing.
The best times in my life, were before I knew exactly what we are doing to each other, and exactly how to replicate it with anyone.
And I no longer want o know that I know.
It all became meaningless. Empty.
Help me.
Love... I've loved alot. I spent alot of my life trying to teach others how to love... I grew up reading love poems, my favorite play was Romeo and Juliet.
I had many loves.
Then I had this... Period of self exploration and self awareness. Of... Introspection that was triggered by achieving a Level of intamicy within someone's mind that most may never know or understand.
I studied psychology, neurology, biology, sexuality, flirting, gender, relationships, hypnosis, bdsm, cults, CEOs and companies, corporations, religion education infrastructure, and the military. Every structure I could think of I picked apart. I read alot of self help books and psychology texts.... And found common threads... And it completely destroyed my ideas of love.
When you can completely classify human behavior, predict outcomes of actions, change someones literal brain with words and images and locations and smells and tastes and touch. Create associations and attach yourself to them so that person only thinks of you... And you can do it it at will.... And you've realized this is what you've been subconsciously doing your entirely life... That you've systematically brainwashed people... That you have followed a formula that is tried and true and tested without realizing it... That you can do this with any person... Anyone...
What is love anymore?
What is life when everyone around you becomes... "Programmable" and classifiable.
When you know ALL the right words to say... All the right move to make, tailored to a person's individual psychology. When you can make a blank slate of someone separate then from the state they existed in before... make them want more of you. Make them addicted to you...
And you don't want any of this... You don't want to know that what you are doing is taking a person... And changing their mind. You are triggering chemicals in the brain with actions that you are now, entirely aware of...
What is love then...
What is life then...
I wish I could forget everything, but at the same time, I want to forget nothing.
The best times in my life, were before I knew exactly what we are doing to each other, and exactly how to replicate it with anyone.
And I no longer want o know that I know.
It all became meaningless. Empty.
Help me.