DeadTreeMississippi
Active member
Hello! I'm zielum (zigh-lum). This intro is more of a story, so I hope you'll bear with me.
In the middle of 11th in high school, about 10 years ago, I was experiencing an existential crisis. My whole life to that point had been about making my parents proud through academic achievement. It was the only thing they really praised me on, so I went after it with everything I had and was a straight-A student. But around this time, I realized that wasn't enough. What else was I? Was academic achievement the only thing at all that gave my life worth? What more was there to life? I sank into unhappiness which soon become full-on depression. My grades slipped. I stopped caring about them, and the consequences.
I clearly remember sitting at my homework desk at home, staring glumly out my window as I always did instead of focusing. I gazed at the single road that went past our house in a middle-of-nowhere podunk town. And I thought to myself, "I wish I could just just walk down that road, and never stop."
It was an earth-shattering thought for me. From that moment on, I never lost my desire for escape from mainstream society and expectations, for the epitome of freedom. I went online every chance I got (Internet was restricted at home, so I had to sneak in as much library time at school as I could), and researched the crap out of the dream I had stumbled upon. I found DigiHitch.com, and realized that there was a whole world of people out there who felt exactly the same as I did. I was not alone in these thoughts, I was not crazy. I ate up the travel stories on there, I printed out the state-by-state guides to hitchhiking. I began making plans.
But then life happened. I joined the Army, graduated High School, left the Army, got married, had kids, got an Associate's degree, got divorced, started hormone treatment (I'm female-to-male transgender, FTM), got diagnosed with a personality disorder. Tried making an income for myself and living on my own. It never really worked out. I'm now back living with my ex-husband and my kids, and ex-father-in-law. I never stopped wishing for freedom, but I always felt that there was just something else I had to focus on first, or something that precluded it altogether.
Due to some very rash and dumb personal decisions, I'm currently about $15k in debt. A recent former partner had convinced me to start a "normal" job and go back to school. The normal job paid horribly and the school, which I eventually disenrolled from, contributed about $9k of the debt. My heart just isn't in academics anymore and I cannot stand, cannot STAND working for someone else. I'm finally at a point where I'm accepting that about myself, and am currently getting back into gig work--this time with the intention of it being full-time and long-term instead of a stop-gap.
A year ago I had looked up DigiHitch again. To my terrible dismay, it was gone! All those resources, all those stories that had fed my wildest dreams, were simply gone....But then I found STP (which funnily enough, I know more familiarly as Stand-To-Pee, a device for FTM individuals uncomfortable with our woefully inadequate plumbing--also for cis females who just don't feel like squatting every time). STP was not exactly the same, but markedly similar. Still intensely interested but knowingly unable to travel until I could pay off this debt, I became a lurker.
And here I be! I read a sticky post about the importance of introducing ourselves and becoming part of the community, rather than just butting in randomly with already-answered questions. So here's my intro...I have a plan to pay off this debt as fast as I can, and then...finally...freedom, at long last! I hope to learn as much as I possibly can from this amazing group of travellers before hitting the road. I figure it'll take about a year before I'm out there with you guys.
My hobbies and interests include reading, hand sewing, jiu-jitsu, the English language, learning other languages, nature, animals, frugality, nutrition, politics, photography, and web design/programming.
Thank you for reading and I wish everyone a wonderful day and safe travels! ^_^
In the middle of 11th in high school, about 10 years ago, I was experiencing an existential crisis. My whole life to that point had been about making my parents proud through academic achievement. It was the only thing they really praised me on, so I went after it with everything I had and was a straight-A student. But around this time, I realized that wasn't enough. What else was I? Was academic achievement the only thing at all that gave my life worth? What more was there to life? I sank into unhappiness which soon become full-on depression. My grades slipped. I stopped caring about them, and the consequences.
I clearly remember sitting at my homework desk at home, staring glumly out my window as I always did instead of focusing. I gazed at the single road that went past our house in a middle-of-nowhere podunk town. And I thought to myself, "I wish I could just just walk down that road, and never stop."
It was an earth-shattering thought for me. From that moment on, I never lost my desire for escape from mainstream society and expectations, for the epitome of freedom. I went online every chance I got (Internet was restricted at home, so I had to sneak in as much library time at school as I could), and researched the crap out of the dream I had stumbled upon. I found DigiHitch.com, and realized that there was a whole world of people out there who felt exactly the same as I did. I was not alone in these thoughts, I was not crazy. I ate up the travel stories on there, I printed out the state-by-state guides to hitchhiking. I began making plans.
But then life happened. I joined the Army, graduated High School, left the Army, got married, had kids, got an Associate's degree, got divorced, started hormone treatment (I'm female-to-male transgender, FTM), got diagnosed with a personality disorder. Tried making an income for myself and living on my own. It never really worked out. I'm now back living with my ex-husband and my kids, and ex-father-in-law. I never stopped wishing for freedom, but I always felt that there was just something else I had to focus on first, or something that precluded it altogether.
Due to some very rash and dumb personal decisions, I'm currently about $15k in debt. A recent former partner had convinced me to start a "normal" job and go back to school. The normal job paid horribly and the school, which I eventually disenrolled from, contributed about $9k of the debt. My heart just isn't in academics anymore and I cannot stand, cannot STAND working for someone else. I'm finally at a point where I'm accepting that about myself, and am currently getting back into gig work--this time with the intention of it being full-time and long-term instead of a stop-gap.
A year ago I had looked up DigiHitch again. To my terrible dismay, it was gone! All those resources, all those stories that had fed my wildest dreams, were simply gone....But then I found STP (which funnily enough, I know more familiarly as Stand-To-Pee, a device for FTM individuals uncomfortable with our woefully inadequate plumbing--also for cis females who just don't feel like squatting every time). STP was not exactly the same, but markedly similar. Still intensely interested but knowingly unable to travel until I could pay off this debt, I became a lurker.
And here I be! I read a sticky post about the importance of introducing ourselves and becoming part of the community, rather than just butting in randomly with already-answered questions. So here's my intro...I have a plan to pay off this debt as fast as I can, and then...finally...freedom, at long last! I hope to learn as much as I possibly can from this amazing group of travellers before hitting the road. I figure it'll take about a year before I'm out there with you guys.
My hobbies and interests include reading, hand sewing, jiu-jitsu, the English language, learning other languages, nature, animals, frugality, nutrition, politics, photography, and web design/programming.
Thank you for reading and I wish everyone a wonderful day and safe travels! ^_^
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