Wolfeyes
Well-known member
I figured it's about time I told the story of my first(and so far only) long trip. Keep in mind I was incredibly stupid, impatient, selfish and oh yeah, did I mention STUPID when I did this.
__________________________________
I was all set up to take a trip up to Cincy to visit a friend of mine. His dad drives big rigs and was passing through my area so I figured it would be a perfect opportunity to catch a ride.
Got a hold of him as he was on shut down on 75 just north of Valdosta and he said he was running a load of fiberglass insulation down to Miami and could pick me up in Wildwood on the rebound. Great. He said it would be another three or four days before he was back in that area, which gave me plenty of time to pack my shit and hump on out there.
Flash forward. My trip to Wildwood was uneventful at best, mind-numbingly dull at worst. Took me three days (it's about 60 Miles the way I went, avoiding the interstate) leaving at 7 am Tuesday and arriving at the T/A at around 9 pm Thursday.
I was cold and dead tired, so I sneaked into the "Drivers Only" area to grab a cup of liquid meth(truck stop coffee) and a comfy chair. Some rent-a-cop spotted me and asked me to show him my CDL. Obviously I didn't have one so he told me to leave and that I had to pay $5 for the cup of coffee that I had been sipping or face shoplifting charges. I knew this was BS, but I didn't want any trouble(I was too tired to argue) so I grab my bag and get up to leave. Right then and there a driver walks out of the can, see's me and this plastic po-po talking and comes to my rescue.
He tells the guard that I was traveling with him, working as a lumper. He let's me stay, but not before this arrogant SOB delivers your typical "I'll be watching you!" parting shot
I thank the driver and we sit down and start talking. He had some interesting stories(including one about a one-eyed lot lizard, a three legged dog and a backpack filled with 30 lbs of ganja, I'll get to that one later...).
Around 10:30, I get a call from my friends dad. This is where things start going wrong. Turns out, while he was down in Miami, the compressor on his rig went out(no compressor = no air brakes) so it was going to be at least another three days before I could get picked up. Bugger.
At this point, I had three options. Head back home, try and find a ride, or stick it out for those three days. In hindsight, the last option would have been best, as there were a few open abandoned trailers I could have camped out in. However, my dumb ass decided to try to catch a ride.
After listening around and asking questions, I found out someone was heading up to Chattanooga. Great, I can get up there and wait. However, nobody was willing to give me a ride(Insurance reasons and federal law...) So, I decided, like an idiot, that if I couldn't get a ride in the truck, I would ride on the truck. By this time it's about 5:30 am
________________________________________________
DISCLAIMER:
Keep in mind what I'm about to describe is JFD, Just Fucking Dumb. Compare it to a first time rider trying to catch the juice train on the fly. Not even going into the legal aspect, there's any number of things that can happen that will result in death or dismemberment.
If the kingpin is set close to the cab you can get crushed if the truck makes a sharp turn or jackknifes.
You can get pushed off the truck if it makes a sharp turn or jackknifes.
An air hose can work loose and flail around. If it catches you in the noggin the force is strong enough to kill you. If it catches you in the chest, the force is strong enough to shatter your ribs, and either puncture or collapse a lung.
If an air hose ruptures the pressure is high enough to cut off a limb, penetrate your skull, penetrate your abdomen, or decapitate you.
The truck can swerve or hit a pothole and throw you off.
A foreign objects can fly up into the catwalk and hit you.
I would never ride this way again, no matter how badly I need a ride, and I warn people not to do it. I'd rather catch a ride through the middle of nowhere with Charlie Manson, Ed Gein and John Wayne Gacy. There are no words in any language, except maybe "suicidal" to describe how stupid and dangerous this is. I was very lucky I wasn't killed, injured or arrested. In all I'm not proud that I did it, and even though I made it out unscathed, I regret it to this day.
Chalk it up you youthful, testosterone fueled, "I'm invincible" stupidity.
_____________________________________________________________________________
So, I single out the driver heading up to Chat, and wait for him to head to his truck. He was on shut down and wouldn't be heading back out until 6:30-7pm, so I chilled at the truck stop, did a little spanging, and what all else to pass the time...
I hid under the trailer he was parked next to while he inspected the truck, came up on his blindside after he got in, and hopped up on the catwalk and sat down. A few minutes later that big white Frieghtliner rumbled to life and we started moving. This is when I learned about the crushing part of my disclaimer. It was a close call and I almost jumped off right then and there, but this guy was a leadfoot and by the time I came to my senses we were already moving at a pretty good clip. As my heart rate slowed, I said to myself "this ain't so bad" and settled in.
Five minutes later, as we're hurtling up 75 at what felt like a thousand mile per hour (but was probably on 60-70), with the cold wind whipping all around me, getting pelted with bugs and splatters of oil and road grime, choking on the fumes of passing vehicles, I started regret my decision. The exhaust pipe started to heat up, providing some relief, but an hour later I was so miserable I was actually begging for death. At this point everything becomes a blur of flashing lights and wind noise, I may have passed out somewhere along the line, I don't remember.
I don't get motion sickness, but this was bad enough that I puked twice that I remember. We finally stopped some hours later. It was dark and I had no clue where the hell we were, other than the fact that we were at another truck stop. Thank god it wasn't a weigh station, otherwise I'd probably be in the clink right now. I was coherent enough to know that it was time to bug out, but not steady enough to do so. By the time I stood up this driver was already out of his truck, and making another inspection. Who should he find but poor, pitiful me.
To be continued...
__________________________________
I was all set up to take a trip up to Cincy to visit a friend of mine. His dad drives big rigs and was passing through my area so I figured it would be a perfect opportunity to catch a ride.
Got a hold of him as he was on shut down on 75 just north of Valdosta and he said he was running a load of fiberglass insulation down to Miami and could pick me up in Wildwood on the rebound. Great. He said it would be another three or four days before he was back in that area, which gave me plenty of time to pack my shit and hump on out there.
Flash forward. My trip to Wildwood was uneventful at best, mind-numbingly dull at worst. Took me three days (it's about 60 Miles the way I went, avoiding the interstate) leaving at 7 am Tuesday and arriving at the T/A at around 9 pm Thursday.
I was cold and dead tired, so I sneaked into the "Drivers Only" area to grab a cup of liquid meth(truck stop coffee) and a comfy chair. Some rent-a-cop spotted me and asked me to show him my CDL. Obviously I didn't have one so he told me to leave and that I had to pay $5 for the cup of coffee that I had been sipping or face shoplifting charges. I knew this was BS, but I didn't want any trouble(I was too tired to argue) so I grab my bag and get up to leave. Right then and there a driver walks out of the can, see's me and this plastic po-po talking and comes to my rescue.
He tells the guard that I was traveling with him, working as a lumper. He let's me stay, but not before this arrogant SOB delivers your typical "I'll be watching you!" parting shot
I thank the driver and we sit down and start talking. He had some interesting stories(including one about a one-eyed lot lizard, a three legged dog and a backpack filled with 30 lbs of ganja, I'll get to that one later...).Around 10:30, I get a call from my friends dad. This is where things start going wrong. Turns out, while he was down in Miami, the compressor on his rig went out(no compressor = no air brakes) so it was going to be at least another three days before I could get picked up. Bugger.
At this point, I had three options. Head back home, try and find a ride, or stick it out for those three days. In hindsight, the last option would have been best, as there were a few open abandoned trailers I could have camped out in. However, my dumb ass decided to try to catch a ride.
After listening around and asking questions, I found out someone was heading up to Chattanooga. Great, I can get up there and wait. However, nobody was willing to give me a ride(Insurance reasons and federal law...) So, I decided, like an idiot, that if I couldn't get a ride in the truck, I would ride on the truck. By this time it's about 5:30 am
________________________________________________
DISCLAIMER:
Keep in mind what I'm about to describe is JFD, Just Fucking Dumb. Compare it to a first time rider trying to catch the juice train on the fly. Not even going into the legal aspect, there's any number of things that can happen that will result in death or dismemberment.
If the kingpin is set close to the cab you can get crushed if the truck makes a sharp turn or jackknifes.
You can get pushed off the truck if it makes a sharp turn or jackknifes.
An air hose can work loose and flail around. If it catches you in the noggin the force is strong enough to kill you. If it catches you in the chest, the force is strong enough to shatter your ribs, and either puncture or collapse a lung.
If an air hose ruptures the pressure is high enough to cut off a limb, penetrate your skull, penetrate your abdomen, or decapitate you.
The truck can swerve or hit a pothole and throw you off.
A foreign objects can fly up into the catwalk and hit you.
I would never ride this way again, no matter how badly I need a ride, and I warn people not to do it. I'd rather catch a ride through the middle of nowhere with Charlie Manson, Ed Gein and John Wayne Gacy. There are no words in any language, except maybe "suicidal" to describe how stupid and dangerous this is. I was very lucky I wasn't killed, injured or arrested. In all I'm not proud that I did it, and even though I made it out unscathed, I regret it to this day.
Chalk it up you youthful, testosterone fueled, "I'm invincible" stupidity.
_____________________________________________________________________________
So, I single out the driver heading up to Chat, and wait for him to head to his truck. He was on shut down and wouldn't be heading back out until 6:30-7pm, so I chilled at the truck stop, did a little spanging, and what all else to pass the time...
I hid under the trailer he was parked next to while he inspected the truck, came up on his blindside after he got in, and hopped up on the catwalk and sat down. A few minutes later that big white Frieghtliner rumbled to life and we started moving. This is when I learned about the crushing part of my disclaimer. It was a close call and I almost jumped off right then and there, but this guy was a leadfoot and by the time I came to my senses we were already moving at a pretty good clip. As my heart rate slowed, I said to myself "this ain't so bad" and settled in.
Five minutes later, as we're hurtling up 75 at what felt like a thousand mile per hour (but was probably on 60-70), with the cold wind whipping all around me, getting pelted with bugs and splatters of oil and road grime, choking on the fumes of passing vehicles, I started regret my decision. The exhaust pipe started to heat up, providing some relief, but an hour later I was so miserable I was actually begging for death. At this point everything becomes a blur of flashing lights and wind noise, I may have passed out somewhere along the line, I don't remember.
I don't get motion sickness, but this was bad enough that I puked twice that I remember. We finally stopped some hours later. It was dark and I had no clue where the hell we were, other than the fact that we were at another truck stop. Thank god it wasn't a weigh station, otherwise I'd probably be in the clink right now. I was coherent enough to know that it was time to bug out, but not steady enough to do so. By the time I stood up this driver was already out of his truck, and making another inspection. Who should he find but poor, pitiful me.
To be continued...
