Well.. maybe this should be in "making a living", but since I almost died,imma little confused...
anyways..
ever work with an asshole, but nonetheless friendly, likable asshole, who is so much of an asshole that they are fucking dangerous to just fucking *be* around?
Holy fucking shit...
This job is goddamned *great*..
Fields, hills, 6 hours of off road driving a day, wildlife.. 26,000 acres of Beauty..
3 people, & no one is a serious *personality* asshole..
To do this job right, however, requires technical competence, deference to each other's opinions (in at least as much as letting people just finish fucking talking, much less actually *listening*, which means to not *assume* you understand another person's opinion, but actually are willing to *think* about it..) and a sense of where your fucking feet are on the ground in relation to where you were in relation to where you actually fucking *are*..
We do shit, if not actually in the goddamned fucking wilderness, well then at least where it takes 2 fucking hours to get back to a goddamned *road*..
Anyways..
Almost went down to thirst &/or heat stroke..
Fuck, man..
Where you stare at rocks, gather your balls together for the next 40 feet of a 2000 climb up the *next* fucking 65° degree slope, dehydrating because the asshole you work with has about 1 fucking FOURTH of your experience, but since he has been there 2 months longer somehow has the brains to drink all the fucking water & wander 1/2 a fucking mile away, ALREADY having missed the target point by over a 1000 fucking feet, because HE CANNOT READ A GODDAMNED FUCKIBG COMPASS or.. or ..**OR** his goddamned fucking centimeter grade $20,000 GPS that will wag its tail like a goddamned DOG for him, if he would JUST FUCKING LOOK AT IT!!!!
but no..
looking & listening are too much.
we have to *prove*
to fucking *PROVE* we are better than anything else, so that means we have to *disagree* with whatever makes sense, because if someone *else* thinks it is right, *we* can't be better than them, can we, unless we prove they are fucking *wrong* by doing.. doooooiiiiinnnggg..... something
*different*, even if there is clearly ONLY one thing that can be right, because it doesn't prove, therefore, that *MY* (whomever me or 'they' may be, as I start to Bless the Rocks & they Glow fir me, with their singular, tiny identity & how they are of what all ever was, & I thank the Almighty for this little patch of bushy shade & say "well..this is a good place to die.. thank you for not only for the possiby poisonous & muddy water I was able to dip my hat into, but thank you for the adventures I have had, & if I die now, forgive me, but.. what a pain in the ass.. hopefully my family will realize I died being in the kind of place I loved being in"
Having crawled though gorse, grass, gorge & stone, eyes peeled for rattle snakes..
to where all I can tell my ass for the next fucking hour is "ok.. just another 5 feet", leaving my brick hammer behind, my work belt behind, my tool holster behind & every other piece of personal gear I could reasonably drop..
Shit..
So I climb, already having shit to drop the weight of waste & think "yeah, baby.. surveying.."
Holy Fuck..
Something similar went down 20some years ago, also in deep ravines..
I was younger & it was actually worse, but only by about 10 minutes, I think..
Christ..
Anyways..
Glowy shit where you talk to God about dying, though unscripted, may be good..
No clue, but I'm not dead..
Come Monday comes a talk down.
Still.. this goddamned job is sweet & good..
& she is worth a goddamned boat, by far...
anyways..
ever work with an asshole, but nonetheless friendly, likable asshole, who is so much of an asshole that they are fucking dangerous to just fucking *be* around?
Holy fucking shit...
This job is goddamned *great*..
Fields, hills, 6 hours of off road driving a day, wildlife.. 26,000 acres of Beauty..
3 people, & no one is a serious *personality* asshole..
To do this job right, however, requires technical competence, deference to each other's opinions (in at least as much as letting people just finish fucking talking, much less actually *listening*, which means to not *assume* you understand another person's opinion, but actually are willing to *think* about it..) and a sense of where your fucking feet are on the ground in relation to where you were in relation to where you actually fucking *are*..
We do shit, if not actually in the goddamned fucking wilderness, well then at least where it takes 2 fucking hours to get back to a goddamned *road*..
Anyways..
Almost went down to thirst &/or heat stroke..
Fuck, man..
Where you stare at rocks, gather your balls together for the next 40 feet of a 2000 climb up the *next* fucking 65° degree slope, dehydrating because the asshole you work with has about 1 fucking FOURTH of your experience, but since he has been there 2 months longer somehow has the brains to drink all the fucking water & wander 1/2 a fucking mile away, ALREADY having missed the target point by over a 1000 fucking feet, because HE CANNOT READ A GODDAMNED FUCKIBG COMPASS or.. or ..**OR** his goddamned fucking centimeter grade $20,000 GPS that will wag its tail like a goddamned DOG for him, if he would JUST FUCKING LOOK AT IT!!!!
but no..
looking & listening are too much.
we have to *prove*
to fucking *PROVE* we are better than anything else, so that means we have to *disagree* with whatever makes sense, because if someone *else* thinks it is right, *we* can't be better than them, can we, unless we prove they are fucking *wrong* by doing.. doooooiiiiinnnggg..... something
*different*, even if there is clearly ONLY one thing that can be right, because it doesn't prove, therefore, that *MY* (whomever me or 'they' may be, as I start to Bless the Rocks & they Glow fir me, with their singular, tiny identity & how they are of what all ever was, & I thank the Almighty for this little patch of bushy shade & say "well..this is a good place to die.. thank you for not only for the possiby poisonous & muddy water I was able to dip my hat into, but thank you for the adventures I have had, & if I die now, forgive me, but.. what a pain in the ass.. hopefully my family will realize I died being in the kind of place I loved being in"
Having crawled though gorse, grass, gorge & stone, eyes peeled for rattle snakes..
to where all I can tell my ass for the next fucking hour is "ok.. just another 5 feet", leaving my brick hammer behind, my work belt behind, my tool holster behind & every other piece of personal gear I could reasonably drop..
Shit..
So I climb, already having shit to drop the weight of waste & think "yeah, baby.. surveying.."
Holy Fuck..
Something similar went down 20some years ago, also in deep ravines..
I was younger & it was actually worse, but only by about 10 minutes, I think..
Christ..
Anyways..
Glowy shit where you talk to God about dying, though unscripted, may be good..
No clue, but I'm not dead..
Come Monday comes a talk down.
Still.. this goddamned job is sweet & good..
& she is worth a goddamned boat, by far...
