To sex or not to sex a local while traveling

[Deleted member 14481]

It's me, again.

Now I want to talk about your own personal stand-point of having sex with the locals and long-stayer travelers in any areas that you pass through. Not in a way that passes judgement on others, mind you. Just your views on it, if you do it and why. If you don't do it, and why? If you thought about it. Anything on the subject matter.

This subject is very much inspired by the sexual desires of locals towards me (mostly homebums, as that's what I'm mostly around) and my desires towards other long stayer travelers. For the record, I'm using "homebum" as a term for ALL homeless locals, not just the street ones. It's the the shelter, and program homeless locals, as well.

As stated I don't mind being attracted to another long stayer. Homebums are as they are, and I don't have sex with them because they are all at the lowest point in their life no matter what's going on. There's the obvious that some of them are flat out disgusting, but even the more clean ones are morally distorted. Every local that falls for me expresses how "unique" and "brave" I am for traveling. Naturally, some accuse me of being "unstable" but that doesn't stop them from wanting to try to tame me. I mean "tame" in a long term area, too.

I get to know the people and the community, and I make it clear that I'm here to party platonically, but I find some people just don't have any respect for that. On the other end, I become attracted to someone. They turn me down. I'm so sad about it because with all the attention I get from the lower crowd I don't getting any attention from someone I want and respect. I find out the person isn't as cool as I thought they were anyway, and I'm relieved we didn't have sex.

I've also been attracted to more male/ men, recently. I don't like being attracted to men, in the first place. And, I live in a society where men are suppose to be sex crazed animals, and yet none of the men I want will have sex with me. Isn't that something? I already know who I am and am not willing to have sex with, but I'm no where near interested in any role in rape. I'm accepting my situation.​

 

[Kim Chee]

I'd fuck ya.

Does that make you feel better?

 

[Desperado Deluxe]

Well now if you like someone and they like you and it works it works. Pretty simple really. Except the sociopaths that you occasionally encounter which makes things tricky.

Not all homebums are at a low. Some choose to live that way and are artists or have jobs and pay for an occasional bus ticket to somewhere else whilst choosing to live in a shelter to save money.

Also so called normal people can be at all time lows. I have talked to a lot of people that feel intimidated or envious of me because of my lifestyle. These are people with jobs money and are generally well off.

Some of that is kinda redundant on what you just said tho.

So basically I wouldn't judge someone because they're a homebum or whatever judge their character by how well you mesh.

Maybe I'm being too personal. I myself prefer the company of people that I can enjoy spending time with be it sexual or not. What would be the point of having sex if your not enjoying the other persons company? Purely sexual? If that's the case just try to get with whoever your attracted to but it seems inevitable that if your personalities clash it could backfire unless its a brief encounter.

 

[Desperado Deluxe]

I'd fuck ya.

Does that make you feel better?

Dude that's kinda fucked up. But funny at the same time.

 

[Odin]

Maybe I'm being too personal. I myself prefer the company of people that I can enjoy spending time with be it sexual or not. What would be the point of having sex if your not enjoying the other persons company?

THATS A BINGO! ::wideeyed::

 

[Kim Chee]

Dude that's kinda fucked up. But funny at the same time.

In all whateverness, I probably wouldn't fuck him/her as I was pretty disgusted with a few things said and was just reacting: taking one for the team!

Thanks for taking the time to spell it out though, I wholeheartedly agree with what you've said.

 

[iflewoverthecuckoosnest]

I kind of feel like you are overthinking and overgeneralizing a lot of things, here.
Personally, I choose the guys I want to sex up based on a number of things that have little to do with whatever particular cookie cutter subculture society at large might smoosh them into. The people I share my body with are individuals who I share a loving bond with; they are people I share mutual attraction, respect, and friendship with. They're people I can look in the eye and talk to the next day, laugh with, cuddle with. As long as we both have an understanding of where things are - or are not- going, it's all good.
To me it's all about friendship and chemistry. Every single guy I've had sex with this past year still talks to me. I can hang out with all of them platonically and still have a great time. I've never had a "one night stand" in the true sense of the word. The thought of having sex with someone and never hearing from them again leaves me feeling cold and empty. Sex is about sharing affection with someone I care for, no matter how they dress, whether they live under a bridge or in a house... it's all about connection and endorphins, baby.
Housies, homebums, travelers, punks... who cares? All of that dissolves when I really care for a person and have them all tied up in the back of my station wagon

 

[Kim Chee]

...All of that dissolves when I really care for a person and have them all tied up in the back of my station wagon

Spank bank is full.

Thanks!

 

[Brother X]

I kind of feel like you are overthinking and overgeneralizing a lot of things, here....
... Sex is about sharing affection with someone I care for, no matter how they dress, whether they live under a bridge or in a house... it's all about connection and endorphins, baby. ...
Housies, homebums, travelers, punks... who cares? All of that dissolves when I really care for a person and have them all tied up in the back of my station wagon

^ What you said. Agreed.

 

[Desperado Deluxe]

In all whateverness, I probably wouldn't fuck him/her as I was pretty disgusted with a few things said and was just reacting: taking one for the team!

Thanks for taking the time to spell it out though, I wholeheartedly agree with what you've said.

yea i got yea you were just doin the creepy hobo gag. i just thought it wasnt sincere to a serious inquiry. also i kinda posted that impulsively.

 

[Coywolf]

When I travel I go to alot of karaoke bars, it usually ends up with me going home with a local 'cause I can sing pretty well. I am usually the dirty person in that short term relationship. The girls seem to really dig me. I dont really know why cause im dirty and have a giant backpack I have to bring with me. I think some people get all starry eyed when they come in contact with a real traveler, and they dont consider you to be a 'homebum'. So mabey that is more appealing or something. But ya, I agree with all of the comments about having to share some sort of bond or point of view with a person that you have sex with. I have had friends be like "Dude why did you go home with that fat/ugly/older chick last night, gross!" Thats pretty fucked up, and when i do sex people that fall into those categories, it is usually because they are cool as fuck. Cool ass fuck? Something.

 

[iflewoverthecuckoosnest]

^ What you said. Agreed.

You tie people up in your station wagon, too?! Oh my god. We've got to swap stories sometime.

 

[Odin]

when I really care for a person and have them all tied up in the back of my station wagon

Spent an hour in the back of a station wagon and all I got was this stupid t-shirt.





MAdAme @iflewoverthecuckoosnest 's Station Wagon of Pai...pleasure!

Oh you^ kinky boots you... ::eyepatch::

 

[iflewoverthecuckoosnest]

Spent an hour in the back of a staition wagon and all I got was this stupid t-shirt.


View attachment 27517


MAdAme @iflewoverthecuckoosnest 's Station Wagon of Pai...pleasure!


View attachment 27518


Oh you^ kinky boots you... ::eyepatch::

...There's ramen back there, too. In case ya wanna snack in between whippings. Lol, okay. I'm done. This is getting wildly off topic. Ahem.
All kinky and irresistibly cute hitchhikers aside, Inuyoujo, maybe just try looking at character rather than subculture. Some of those homebums may very well wind up traveling someday. And even if they don't, some of them are perfectly fine people who are just in a tough spot, or decided to drop out of the rat race for good. Nothing wrong with that. You can always give 'em a good wipe down with some baby wipes and essential oils if they're really that nasty to you. But, if we're honest here, us traveling folk can get pretty greasy ourselves.
Good luck. I hope you get yourself laid, if that's what ya want

 

[Odin]

...There's ramen back there, too. In case ya wanna snack in between

... ... ...

Oi!

I love Picante CHILE Limón! Flavor ::woot::

Anyway I'm gonna try add something of substance to this conversation. Just like foxspirt, SIB, and our wonderful Madame iflew!...achoo (Gazoontite), have more or less said, I believe looking for the character of a person and establishing a bond first is a better path to a happy "rendezvous" or "relationship". You build a base of trust and friendship and that leads to an overall healthier relationship.

I'm so sad about it because with all the attention I get from the lower crowd I don't getting any attention from someone I want and respect. I find out the person isn't as cool as I thought they were anyway, and I'm relieved we didn't have sex.

A lot of what you are saying can look judgmental and seems like it depends on "preconceptions" that you establish before you really get to know a person.
In my opinion that is not a formula for a real connection or happy encounter
...

You know, I've always liked that one movie... Good Will Hunting, yea it's corny but I like it.

Robin Williams had a lot of good advice in that film.

Some of the best dialogue ever:

Will: I don't care if Helen of Troy walks in the room, that's Game 6!

Sean: Oh, Helen of Troy...

Will: Oh my God; and who are these fuckin' friends of yours, they let you get away with that?

Sean: Oh... they had to.

Will: W-w-w-what'd you say to them?

Sean: I just slid my ticket across the table, and I said, "Sorry, guys; I gotta see about a girl."

Will: I gotta go see about a girl?

Sean: Yeah.

Will: That's what you said? And they let you get away with that?

Sean: Oh, yeah. They saw in my eyes that I meant it.

Will: You're kiddin' me.

Sean: No, I'm not kiddin' you, Will. That's why I'm not talkin' right now about some girl I saw at a bar twenty years ago and how I always regretted not going over and talking to her. I don't regret the 18 years I was married to Nancy. I don't regret the six years I had to give up counseling when she got sick. And I don't regret the last years when she got really sick. And I sure as hell don't regret missin' the damn game. That's regret.

[pause]

Will: Wow... Woulda been nice to catch that game, though.

Sean: [sheepishly] I didn't know Pudge was gonna hit a homer.

///

Sean: So if I asked you about art, you'd probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written. Michelangelo, you know a lot about him. Life's work, political aspirations, him and the pope, sexual orientations, the whole works, right? But I'll bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You've never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling; seen that. If I ask you about women, you'd probably give me a syllabus about your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy. You're a tough kid. And I'd ask you about war, you'd probably throw Shakespeare at me, right, "once more unto the breach dear friends." But you've never been near one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap, watch him gasp his last breath looking to you for help. I'd ask you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel, to have that love for her, be there forever, through anything, through cancer. And you wouldn't know about sleeping sitting up in the hospital room for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes, that the terms "visiting hours" don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, 'cause it only occurs when you've loved something more than you love yourself. And I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much. And look at you... I don't see an intelligent, confident man... I see a cocky, scared shitless kid. But you're a genius Will. No one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you. But you presume to know everything about me because you saw a painting of mine, and you ripped my fucking life apart. You're an orphan right?

[Will nods]

Sean: You think I know the first thing about how hard your life has been, how you feel, who you are, because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you? Personally... I don't give a shit about all that, because you know what, I can't learn anything from you, I can't read in some fuckin' book. Unless you want to talk about you, who you are. Then I'm fascinated. I'm in. But you don't want to do that do you sport? You're terrified of what you might say. Your move, chief.

...

...

Whelp...

Anyway, Good luck in finding someone in this VAST COSMIC UNIVERSE. I wish it for you totally.

Peace...

 

[Deleted member 14481]

I kind of feel like you are overthinking and overgeneralizing a lot of things, here.
Personally, I choose the guys I want to sex up based on a number of things that have little to do with whatever particular cookie cutter subculture society at large might smoosh them into. The people I share my body with are individuals who I share a loving bond with; they are people I share mutual attraction, respect, and friendship with. They're people I can look in the eye and talk to the next day, laugh with, cuddle with. As long as we both have an understanding of where things are - or are not- going, it's all good.
To me it's all about friendship and chemistry. Every single guy I've had sex with this past year still talks to me. I can hang out with all of them platonically and still have a great time. I've never had a "one night stand" in the true sense of the word. The thought of having sex with someone and never hearing from them again leaves me feeling cold and empty. Sex is about sharing affection with someone I care for, no matter how they dress, whether they live under a bridge or in a house... it's all about connection and endorphin, baby.
Housies, homebums, travelers, punks... who cares? All of that dissolves when I really care for a person and have them all tied up in the back of my station wagon

"Who cares?" is a weird thing to ask in your post. I just care about something differently from you. Some people would say "who cares?" to one night stands and never hearing from the person again. I don't see this as a matter of do or don't care.

It's like the theme of a lot response is that it's unacceptable to have a type or standards. Even "disgusting" to some, but I'll take being disgusting to absolute strangers that I'll probably never met nor have a reason to value the opinon of to have this issue come out.
​

 

[Brother X]

You tie people up in your station wagon, too?! Oh my god. We've got to swap stories sometime.

I never knot and tell.

 

[Kim Chee]

 

[Mankini]

Watch a condor next time youre in the Kings Canyon area...he hovers, not flapping a wing. silent. surveying everything within the area. Next he soars a little lower, something having caught his attention. lower...now he can almost smell it. This then, is equivalent to my sexual behavior. Like the condor, i have wide and diverse tastes. like him, i lurk near jukeboxes or servers stations, watching...and waiting...patient but observant. i have settled a hostel room with an heiress, diddled in the woods, in storerooms, libraries, RVs, army barracks...wherever women were willing and there was some modicum of privacy. ive spanked naughty divorcees, moistened the panties of professors and accountants and lesbians and army colonels, staged deflowered virgin orgies in college dorms, violated family friendly environments, startled animals and small children, wrestled chubby maids in the kitchens, taxicabs, hotel lobbies, and halfway houses of america...left questionable musk and mysterious moistness on the wood and velvet of a hundred locales from denmark to appalachia...plopped bare, eager female bunz on surfaces where food is prepared...shocked elderly tourists with the old stinky finger routine...freshly paroled meth queens and freshly released asylum inmates on the amtrak...made a Magyar scrapper forget her prerogatives on the banks of the Aura...joined the nautical equivalent of the mile high club on the freezing wastes of the Baltic. Sex is great. Thank Heaven for girlz. Cops, politicians, banktellers, nursing home staff, fastfood cashiers...serious earnest types or silly gas station attendants...the aristocratic sophisticate or the hometown girl with microwave burrito on her hooded sweatshirt...walmart vest or jail scrubs or masters degrees or foreign tongues or constrictive religions...i dont care as long as they have bigg bunz and a cute wiggle. Whether she's lecturing me on standards and tardiness or interviewing me for a corporate office or booking me into jail or whipping my latte or taking my deposit slip, i guarantee you i'll cock a come hither eyebrow... whats next? mayhaps a juggalo.

 

[iflewoverthecuckoosnest]

"Who cares?" is a weird thing to ask in your post. I just care about something differently from you. Some people would say "who cares?" to one night stands and never hearing from the person again. I don't see this as a matter of do or don't care.

It's like the theme of a lot response is that it's unacceptable to have a type or standards. Even "disgusting" to some, but I'll take being disgusting to absolute strangers that I'll probably never met nor have a reason to value the opinon of to have this issue come out.
​

...Well, you sort of asked for our opinions. You said, and I quote: "Now I want to talk about your own personal stand-point of having sex with the locals and long-stayer travelers in any areas that you pass through." That's exactly what I did. I also think it's kind of horrible to stereotype homebums as being low, especially when the main thing that separates you from being one of them is the fact that you move from place to place.

"Homebums are as they are, and I don't have sex with them because they are all at the lowest point in their life no matter what's going on. There's the obvious that some of them are flat out disgusting, but even the more clean ones are morally distorted."

You see that? You just flat out expressed a prejudice against the stationary homeless. People aren't giving you a hard time just because you have a type, they are giving you a hard time because you have a prejudice. I mean, they are all, all either disgusting or morally inferior to you? What?! That's why people are having a hard time falling all over themselves to embrace your every little opinion on this website. You berate anyone who disagrees with you as being a chauvinist, and yet you turn around and apply a classist stereotype to all homebums. So stereotyping a gender is wrong, but not an entire class of people in the world? ::banghead::

There's all kinds of homebums who are homeless for varying lengths of time. One of my best friends was a homebum a few years ago. He kept himself very presentable and clean. Hung out with plenty of folks who lived in regular homes. Then he moved away, got a job, a steady girlfriend, etc. Many of the travelers I meet started out as homebums at some point, then decided to spice things up with some adventure. I have a friend in Santa Cruz working full time who is still homeless because the housing prices are so insane over there.

Alright. Rant over.