T Spoon
Active member
aw jeez i hope i'm putting this in the right board.
anyways, does anyone else feel like they aren't doing enough to change this system? i definitely do and it's getting to be overwhelming. let me try to explain as best as i can even tho i suck with words.
so lately i've been dumpstering and cooking up storms of the food that i've rescued and giving it out to people, but that still doesn't feel like enough. i want to get a food not bombs chapter started here but haven't yet, so it feels like my handing out food doesn't really matter. it's not impactful enough, especially since it's still a one-man show so far since i haven't been able to recruit people yet. plus, in order for me to get food from dumpsters, i'm basically still relying on this system that i was to change.
which brings me to my next point. i want to grow my own food and ultimately use that to feed people. i also want to create a anarchist space but in order to do that i feel like i need to stop traveling and work to earn money to get a place/get started gardening, but then aren't i just giving into the system again?
i hear stories of people squatting and reclaiming buildings and growing community gardens and i haven't gotten there yet and i feel like i can't unless i give into the system. so i don't do anything, which really is the worst choice of all. i'm basically a dog chasing its own tail.
on top of that, i somehow spend too much time with wealthy business owners, which brings up a smorgisborg of emotions. anger at them, and also worthlessness towards myself because i still manage to tell myself that my worth is directly correlated to my productivity.
SO ANYWAYS. that was a lot of ranting and venting. i think basically what i'm doing is asking The Void for validation™ about how i'm feeling, and also maybe some help in what direction(s) i should go?
anyways, does anyone else feel like they aren't doing enough to change this system? i definitely do and it's getting to be overwhelming. let me try to explain as best as i can even tho i suck with words.
so lately i've been dumpstering and cooking up storms of the food that i've rescued and giving it out to people, but that still doesn't feel like enough. i want to get a food not bombs chapter started here but haven't yet, so it feels like my handing out food doesn't really matter. it's not impactful enough, especially since it's still a one-man show so far since i haven't been able to recruit people yet. plus, in order for me to get food from dumpsters, i'm basically still relying on this system that i was to change.
which brings me to my next point. i want to grow my own food and ultimately use that to feed people. i also want to create a anarchist space but in order to do that i feel like i need to stop traveling and work to earn money to get a place/get started gardening, but then aren't i just giving into the system again?
i hear stories of people squatting and reclaiming buildings and growing community gardens and i haven't gotten there yet and i feel like i can't unless i give into the system. so i don't do anything, which really is the worst choice of all. i'm basically a dog chasing its own tail.
on top of that, i somehow spend too much time with wealthy business owners, which brings up a smorgisborg of emotions. anger at them, and also worthlessness towards myself because i still manage to tell myself that my worth is directly correlated to my productivity.
SO ANYWAYS. that was a lot of ranting and venting. i think basically what i'm doing is asking The Void for validation™ about how i'm feeling, and also maybe some help in what direction(s) i should go?