Punkhouse un-parable

[roughdraft]

It’s kinda the same problem of semantics that always accompanies “punk”. To some people it means radical politics, creativity, community and autonomy within accountability. Some people just think it’s an excuse to be gross, obnoxious and do whatever they feel like.

it's this x 1000... what does Punk mean other than being yourself ? some people have a really jacked idea of what this means, sadly

 

[nobrains]

That's the thing. Be yourself. Everybody is different. No set it premade rules works for everyone, at all times. That's why "don't be a jerk" and ''work it out" are keepers, it makes it so we resolve conflict together instead of just adhering to commandments somebody else invented

 

[Deleted member 14481]

It’s kinda the same problem of semantics that always accompanies “punk”. To some people it means radical politics, creativity, community and autonomy within accountability. Some people just think it’s an excuse to be gross, obnoxious and do whatever they feel like.

​

I agree with you on that one. I stopped running the house a while ago, and now the format is about the change because this space about to being primary use for a couple. This house is not going to be that kind of space, anymore.

But, in the future, if I consider doing this again, I have better insight on what to do, and I would not label the house a "punkhouse". The words used are very important for there are expectations that come with these labels. After seeing a lot of examples of what "punkhouse" attracts, I'm sure I don't want it. I was put into this position of running the house for someone else, because they lack communications skills on a level working to everyone's detriment. I saw stuff going horribly wrong with how the housemates were treating each other, and I cleared that situation up, but maybe I was only calling this a punkhouse because that's what the other person wants to call it, even though the current setup is way more civilized than what I understand the "average" house to be.

I put myself into this position because the younger housemates were isolating the older housemate, and I thought that was really unfair. Not only did I feel bad for him, but they were also using him. But, he lacks the SOMETHING to confront people. Since I've been here, we've had a lot of issues what could have been handled better if we had all talked about it, but he kept it to himself and made things so much worse than they had to be. I just recently stopped feeling bad for him, because I came to the realization that I was stressing myself out over someone else's problems past how they effected me in a realistic way. I took ownership of everyone's problems, at some point. Moreso, this older person's.

Recently, the space has changed and the other's agree that I've put too much on my own shoulders, that caused me to have an emotional breakdown. I take responsibility for how I got myself into this, and I'm taking the same stride in getting myself out. I've disowned the position of running the house, and disconnected myself from that feeling of ownership I put on myself. I no longer fell bad for the older housemate, as well. After getting to know him, I decided he isn't worth those types of feelings from me. And, really HE'S the one calling this a punkhouse. No one else is. It's not really a punkhouse.
​

I can run my own house, with my terms, and call it something else. Or, don't call it anything. The only label I need to achieve at the next house I lead is "my house". I'm open to moving into a house lead by someone else with an agenda I agree with, but I'm not going to pick up the slack of leading someone else's house again. Someone else's house, someone else's rules. My house, my rules.​

 

[nobrains]

Why did you bomb all of my posts like that, because you disagree with them? That vindictiveness is exactly the personality trait that makes you a difficult person to get along with. It's not that the concept of punk houses is flawed, it's that you need to get a little more dirt on you before trying it.

 

[Coywolf]

I think that yes, this is more of a "community space" than a punk house.

Yes punk house come with different ideas and expectations from everyone.

I do believe that this comes down to respect. If you are invited into a space to live, that was created by someone else, it would make a he'll of alot of sense to be respectful to those who invited you.

If you have had a conversation with these housemates, and let them know of your expectations, or even what was bugging you, they should have enough respect to try to accommodate the said expectations.

If not. They are not going to get along in the space, and should be asked to leave.

In my experience, a group living situation will always need some "community guidelines", not "rules" (people take poorly to rules in this culture), and they need to be enforced. If not SOMEONE will start to take advantage. It always happens. Always.

It's kinda close to the whole "perfect anarchy" idea, it may work for a bit, but someone will find a weakness and manipulate it.

Hence all of these ideas being adaptive and a working practice.

 

[Deleted member 14481]

I think that yes, this is more of a "community space" than a punk house.

Yes punk house come with different ideas and expectations from everyone.

I do believe that this comes down to respect. If you are invited into a space to live, that was created by someone else, it would make a he'll of alot of sense to be respectful to those who invited you.

If you have had a conversation with these housemates, and let them know of your expectations, or even what was bugging you, they should have enough respect to try to accommodate the said expectations.

If not. They are not going to get along in the space, and should be asked to leave.

In my experience, a group living situation will always need some "community guidelines", not "rules" (people take poorly to rules in this culture), and they need to be enforced. If not SOMEONE will start to take advantage. It always happens. Always.

It's kinda close to the whole "perfect anarchy" idea, it may work for a bit, but someone will find a weakness and manipulate it.

Hence all of these ideas being adaptive and a working practice.

And, I completely agree with you. That's why I'm changing my narrative. The space, itself, is changing. It's not going to be a "punkhouse" or a title of one, anymore. This is going to be a comfortable space for the old couple that will live here.

In the future, I likely won't be doing anymore "punkhouse" stuff, but rather "intentional spaces, where people understand there are rules to mention it's intended purpose. And, either I'm going to lead the space, or someone else is and I will have no part in leading it.

This is def an education thread for anyone looking to start a punkhouse or communal space.