Travelogue #39
A Quick One fo--err, from the Road
En route to Fredericksburg, VA via I-95 southbound
ME: "How much money did you make street-fighting?"
DOUG: "Oh, you could make two-hundred, three-hundred for whoopin' some ass." He laughed. "I got rolled around in some glass a few times." Later: "My dad and I used to scrap. He'd just get mean and start beatin' me up until I started deliverin' my own ass-whoopin's"
THEM:"Freebird!"
US: "Fuck you!"
THEM: "No, Fuck you!"
2) PORTSMOUTH, NEW HAMPSHIRE
THEM: A mocking gesture of our novelty song made by a crewcut muscle guy amidst his like-styled brethren
US: "Lots of guys... Lots of guys, no girls..."
THEM: Unintelligible
US: "Lots of guys, not alot of girls..."
3) ANNAPOLIS, MARYLAND
THEM: "Could you play O.A.R.?"
US: "I don't know that one."
The girl then lets me listen to a fifteen second sample, in which I have to transcribe the chorus (it was just C Amin F and G)
THEM: "No, that's not it... You should listen to O.A.R, and then next time you see me--my name is Jordan--you can play it for me. And remember: Jordan introduced you to O.A.R." (Then, to a guy who had appeared to be her boyfriend, groped at her coat to leave with him) "Don't touch me! I don't even know you!"
4) PORTSMOUTH, NEW HAMPSHIRE
THEM: "Can you play something we can sing along to?"
US: (amongst ourselves) "How about 'Blister in the Sun'?"
We sing the first verse, which leads into the chorus
US and THEM: "Leeeemmmmemmm Go Blaaahhhhhh, La laaaaa laaa laaa laaa laaaa... Leeeemmmmmmmeem Go Ahhhhhhhhhhhh....."
Why Hitchhiking Isn't Popular Anymore
(Courtesy of your local heroin junkies/lovers, R---- and N----)
R: "Remember when you squatted down in the parking lot in front of those people, and some green goop came out of your butt?"
N: "Noooo, I... don't... remember that"
(Courtesy of S---)
S: "I fucking love yuppies. They're so easy to piss off. Sometimes I ask if they want to see a magic trick. When they say 'Yes', I just piss my pants. Their reactions are hilarious."
(Courtesy of heroin junkie girls conversations in Denver)
#1: "So I got this rash on my arm. It itches like hell."
#2: "Is it scabies?"
#1: "No, I've had that and this is different."
#2: "Maybe its lice. I've had lice."
#1: "Me, too, but this feels itchy as shit.
#2: "Chiggers?"
#1: "Nah, its not that either. Hey, do you have any 'H'?"
(Courtesy of a crust punk conversations)
"Have you heard this guy named Dirt? He's got this chick's period blood on his jacket, like she just squatted over his chest and bled all over him. Fuckin' sick."
(Courtesy of the knuckles of this street-kid in Key West)
"F-U-K-C C-O-P-S"
A Quick One fo--err, from the Road
En route to Fredericksburg, VA via I-95 southbound
ME: "How much money did you make street-fighting?"
DOUG: "Oh, you could make two-hundred, three-hundred for whoopin' some ass." He laughed. "I got rolled around in some glass a few times." Later: "My dad and I used to scrap. He'd just get mean and start beatin' me up until I started deliverin' my own ass-whoopin's"
Doug ended up driving around downtown Fredericksburg twice and kindly depositing us
on Lafayette Street.
on Lafayette Street.
Great Moments in Busking History
1) RALEIGH, NORTH CAROLINATHEM:"Freebird!"
US: "Fuck you!"
THEM: "No, Fuck you!"
2) PORTSMOUTH, NEW HAMPSHIRE
THEM: A mocking gesture of our novelty song made by a crewcut muscle guy amidst his like-styled brethren
US: "Lots of guys... Lots of guys, no girls..."
THEM: Unintelligible
US: "Lots of guys, not alot of girls..."
3) ANNAPOLIS, MARYLAND
THEM: "Could you play O.A.R.?"
US: "I don't know that one."
The girl then lets me listen to a fifteen second sample, in which I have to transcribe the chorus (it was just C Amin F and G)
THEM: "No, that's not it... You should listen to O.A.R, and then next time you see me--my name is Jordan--you can play it for me. And remember: Jordan introduced you to O.A.R." (Then, to a guy who had appeared to be her boyfriend, groped at her coat to leave with him) "Don't touch me! I don't even know you!"
4) PORTSMOUTH, NEW HAMPSHIRE
THEM: "Can you play something we can sing along to?"
US: (amongst ourselves) "How about 'Blister in the Sun'?"
We sing the first verse, which leads into the chorus
US and THEM: "Leeeemmmmemmm Go Blaaahhhhhh, La laaaaa laaa laaa laaa laaaa... Leeeemmmmmmmeem Go Ahhhhhhhhhhhh....."
Why Hitchhiking Isn't Popular Anymore
Today's Headline: "Local man assists young people in traveling fifty miles to local metropolis. Mutual admiration and amicable conversation continues for approximately one hour. Up next is 'Why Reading Makes You More Intelligent'."
More Disgusting Road Moments
(Courtesy of your local heroin junkies/lovers, R---- and N----)
R: "Remember when you squatted down in the parking lot in front of those people, and some green goop came out of your butt?"
N: "Noooo, I... don't... remember that"
(Courtesy of S---)
S: "I fucking love yuppies. They're so easy to piss off. Sometimes I ask if they want to see a magic trick. When they say 'Yes', I just piss my pants. Their reactions are hilarious."
(Courtesy of heroin junkie girls conversations in Denver)
#1: "So I got this rash on my arm. It itches like hell."
#2: "Is it scabies?"
#1: "No, I've had that and this is different."
#2: "Maybe its lice. I've had lice."
#1: "Me, too, but this feels itchy as shit.
#2: "Chiggers?"
#1: "Nah, its not that either. Hey, do you have any 'H'?"
(Courtesy of a crust punk conversations)
"Have you heard this guy named Dirt? He's got this chick's period blood on his jacket, like she just squatted over his chest and bled all over him. Fuckin' sick."
(Courtesy of the knuckles of this street-kid in Key West)
"F-U-K-C C-O-P-S"
