My Date From Hell: An Adventure From The Telephone Jam Line | Squat the Planet

My Date From Hell: An Adventure From The Telephone Jam Line

DoctorZ

I'm a d-bag and got banned.
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In my introductory post on this site I mentioned what mostly teenagers had back in the 1960's, 70's and early 80's for Social Media. We called it the Jam Line. In other cities where it existed most called it the Beep Line. Due to a flaw in the telephone switching circuitry of the time, if you dialed a phone number that was always a busy signal, you could talk over the beeps to other callers, yell out your phone number and call each other back. This in essence was picking up strangers via telephone.

I met a lot of cool people from the Jam Line, some of which I'm still friends with today. But it was not always a good experience as this adventure will show:

DATE FROM HELL!

I was addicted to calling the Jam Line when I was a teenager. One day I got this girl named Debbie, only she told me her name was Dana. It was common for people to lie on the Jam Line all the time; I always told the truth though. So I got this girl Debbie (Dana) off the Line and she was a little bit strange. She told me that no guy liked her and that she had three sisters.

Her three sisters turned out to be her three different split personalities! I was always trying to help girls with their problems so I talked to Dana for many nights trying to convince her to meet me. She refused to meet me until one night when we had this talk about girls and their periods. She was amazed that a guy would know about a girl's period, and this inspired her to meet me. She wouldn't let me come to her house though, I had to meet her in the middle of the night on a street corner in Columbia Heights. I still remember the corner, 45th and Jefferson St. NE. I had told her what kind of car I had, a blue 1971 Mercury Cougar XR7, and I was parked at the corner as instructed. Soon this attractive girl walked up to my car, opened the door, jumped in, and said as she opened her shirt and exposed her bare breasts, "Hello, do you like what you see?" I was a very bashful boy and didn't know what to think, so I blushed and turned my head and said, "Hi." She then asked if I would like to touch them. I said I wasn't that kind of guy but I knew one who was. She said she wanted to meet him, so I drove over to his house and I went up to the door while she waited in my car.

When my friend answered, I told him to go down to my car and say hello to this girl I had met from Jam Line. He walked up to the car and when he poked his head into the window, she exposed her breasts again and said, "Hello there." My friend started to pant as he crawled thru my car window. He was teetering on my car window--his feet off the ground--trying to get closer to Dana as she was asking him if he wanted to examine her teeth? I was disgusted with my friend's reaction, but Dana seemed to thrive on it. I told my friend he could have her number and that he could take her home if he wanted. I was getting a little scared of Dana. Next my friend's brothers came out of the house and said hi to Dana. They all got the same bare-breasted greeting from her. I decided that letting one of them take Dana home was not a good idea, so I told them we had to get going and I took her home, or rather back to the street corner and dropped her off. My friend had gotten Dana's phone number before we left and he and a friend of his called her up later that same week.

My friend later told me that his friend went over to her house and made out with her for a while when all of a sudden Dana, pulled down her pants and started screaming at the top of her lungs, "RAPE!" My friend's, friend, hightailed it out of there never to return, and my friend decided he was no longer interested in Dana.

Okay, now you would think that after my first encounter with Dana, I would have learned my lesson, right? Wrong. I decided that Dana needed my help. I was going to cure all her problems! My solution? I would take her cruising Main Street in downtown Hopkins, the local teenage hangout! Everyone liked to go cruising... What a huge mistake that turned out to be.

It was about a week later and I made arrangements with Dana, who by now let me call her by her real name, Debbie. It was a cold Saturday night in the middle of winter. I went over and picked Debbie up at the same street corner because she still wouldn't let me see her house. She got into my car and as we began our journey to Hopkins, she asked, "Where's my kiss?" I was really shy around girls back then and was not about to kiss her. She made me feel VERY uncomfortable. She was not bad looking or anything, I was just a Nerd. To give you an idea of what she looked like, if you know what the actress Erin Grey looks like, then you know what Debbie looked like. She had long dark brown hair, hazel eyes, a perfect smile, she weighed about 115 pounds, and she stood about 5'7". I didn't find out her real age until years later, she was a year older than I, but she told me she was 16, that would have made her about 19 at that time. Anyway, the whole way to Hopkins she kept bugging me for a kiss. I finally told her that when we arrived in Hopkins, I would give her one all the while hoping that she would find another guy to kiss.

We arrived in Hopkins, and I turned on my CB Radio to talk to my friends. I was looking for this girl on the CB who called herself Angel Face, because I had bought her a 45 (7" vinyl recording) called "Laurie" which was Angel Face's real name. I wanted to give her the record that night, since I had promised her that I'd find a copy of the song. She hadn't arrived in town yet, so I kept trying to reach her. I was trying to get Debbie into cruising, but she didn't seem interested, then all of a sudden Angel Face pulled into town. I broke for her on the CB and as soon as Debbie heard a female voice come back to me on the radio, she went NUTTS! She started SCREAMING at me so loud that my ear drums almost popped! She said she HATED me! Then she tried to jump out of my car while it was moving at 30 mph! I grabbed her and started yelling at her to stop. I pulled into the parking lot where I was supposed to meet Angel Face and give her the 45, and Debbie jumped out of my car. Angel Face pulled up and I gave her the record, as Debbie went into the liquor store. I started telling Angel Face what was going on. She thought Debbie was acting really weird, because as Debbie walked across the parking lot to the liquor store, she swung her hips like a slut in heat.

In a few minutes Debbie came out of the store swinging her hips like a slut again, when she noticed that there was a car load of guys parked in the lot talking to their buddies close by. Debbie sauntered up to them and said something I didn't quite hear. Then she came back to my car and said she was going to go with these other guys and started gathering up her stuff. I was relieved. As she started walking back to the guys, they drove off. Debbie plopped back into my car looking very depressed and told me to pull up to this other car load of guys. I did as she requested, and she motioned for them to roll down their window. When they did she exclaimed, "Hey, you wanna FUCK?" The driver said, "WHAT DID YOU SAY!!!!?" Then the passenger said, "YEAH!" Debbie immediately started to get out of my car and the guys got this look of horror on their faces and squealed their tires out of the parking lot. I've never seen six guys look so scared!

Debbie got back in my car and opened the bottle of wine she had bought, and started drinking it. I got really nervous because Hopkins cops didn't like us cruising around town and looked for any excuse to make our lives miserable. I didn't want a ticket for Open Bottle, when I didn't even drink booze. I decided to take Debbie back home. As we started to leave, she screamed she hated me again, and poured the bottle of wine over my head. I grabbed the bottle and tried to fling it out her open window. As it flew by, Debbie reach out and caught it in mid air with one hand like a football player! She started drinking more wine and screaming again in my ear. She continued to scream, and just after I entered the Freeway entrance ramp, she started punching me in the face! She said she hated me again and again as she was punching my face. I grabbed her hands and held them in her lap as she bent over and bit my hand as hard as she could! I was determined not to let go and she kept biting until blood started to ooze out. Finally she released her bite and I let go of her hands. She then grabbed my hair and pulled my head down below the dash board so I couldn't see where I was driving! I was going about 60 mph by this time, trying to get her home as fast as I could. She started punching my face again, and I grabbed her hair and pulled her head back, as I managed to raise my head up far enough to see out the windshield in order to pull over.

Once pulled over, but still on the freeway, I told her to "Get out!" She put up her fists and said, "I will fight you to the death, but I will NOT get out of this car! No one is going to make me walk home again." Apparently this must have been a common occurrence, I thought, when Debbie was out with a guy. Now it was about -5 degrees out, so I thought for a minute and finally said, "Okay, I will take you the rest of the way home; but you stay in your corner and DON'T touch me again!" She agreed. I started driving again and she started screaming at me again. Next she began to cry and say that no one loved her or cared about her. Not knowing what else to say I told her that God cared and she slugged me right in the mouth! I decided that wasn't the right thing to say. I then said that I really did care about her, and that I was sorry that I had made her so angry. She then said that she was going to go to a bar and find a guy to FUCK her, and get her pregnant, so she could have a baby, and that baby would love her. I decided not to say anything that might get me slugged again. She started to cry harder and I felt really bad for her. I asked her if I could put my arm around her and she didn't say anything, so I slowly did. She snuggled up to me for awhile and after she stopped crying she suddenly pulled away and said she hated me again.

We finally made it home and I dropped her off on the corner. She left the open bottle of wine in my car which I promptly dumped in someone's nearby garbage can. I then drove all the way back to Hopkins to cruise. When I arrived back in town with a puffy face and smelling like a wino; the car load of guys pulled up to me in Burger King and asked me what Debbie's problem was. I told them that she was upset with me for not having sex with her.

For weeks after that Debbie made prank phone calls to my house telling me that she was going to Murder me. She kept saying the next time she saw me, she was going to stick a knife into my chest! She would go into gory details about how she was going to do it too. I got really scared, and I can't remember what I did to get her to stop calling me. She finally did left me alone.

Erin Grey.jpg

Actress Erin Grey in the late 1970's, Debbie very much resembled her.
 

DoctorZ

I'm a d-bag and got banned.
Banned
Joined
Oct 20, 2018
Messages
107
Reaction score
104
Location
Twin Cities, Minnesota, USA
Website
www.youtube.com
After a few drinks, her mind was warped in no time. Thanks for sharing, though!

She didn't need any drinks to have a warped mind. Years after I met her some buddies of mine were talking about this girl they picked up hitch-hiking and she hopped in their cars and started up the same thing. She eventually became known around the area as "Crazy Debbie."
 

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