Maybe im crazy, maybe i think too much, maybe the only thing that drives me anymore is necessity. I dont fucking know. Being on the road i stay busy and productive and in some sense of the word inspired. Then other times i just stare, into the void or into the wall, and just think. Or do other shit just as unproductive. Usually travelling or working there isnt much time to create i think but then when i have the time i go blank. Ive tried putting the pressure on and taking rhe pressure off. I can feel it bubbling inside me and i need to get it out though. So im hopefull. Honestly though my anxiety to create and be proud of my work, the loss of skills because of not practicing, the pressure to make something epic and meaningfull fucking stops me like a brick wall sometimes too. Ironically im a bricklayer. Haa. So im basically ranting about my troubles with the creative process and wondering if anyone else feels these same pressures and how you deal with them.
Motivation, inspiration, confidence, practice...
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BelleBottoms
Well-known member
You sound 100% normal.
Though, when I feel the way you describe, such words don't help much. I hate giving advice because it always seems arrogant, esp without knowing the person I'm giving it to. But here it goes anyway, in the spirit of compassion and helpfulness.
Remember always that we are animals. And if you look around outside, you will notice humans are the only ones going nuts about being in a near constant state of production. Animals rest. We have cyclical ups and downs. We have numerous cycles - daily, monthly, etc - and they all overlap, so sometimes it's hard to determine where you are. So if you're feeling all used up and useless, it's just recharge time. Being still, being an observer, keeping to yourself... all natural. You're not failing, you're normal.
Just thinking, just staring at nothing, just going blank - this stage isn't anti-creative. It's PART OF creativity. I direct your attention to the last lasagna, chicken cacciatore, or Mexican mole you ate. So much time, effort, ingredients involved. And once it's finally done? It's not ready. No, you have to slide it in the fridge and pretend it isn't there for a whole day (Or for cheesecake, almost a week; beer even longer!), waiting for flavors to meld. Stewing in the dark makes the difference between dinner and a masterpiece. Sounds like you may have something great brewing, friend.
Though, when I feel the way you describe, such words don't help much. I hate giving advice because it always seems arrogant, esp without knowing the person I'm giving it to. But here it goes anyway, in the spirit of compassion and helpfulness.
Remember always that we are animals. And if you look around outside, you will notice humans are the only ones going nuts about being in a near constant state of production. Animals rest. We have cyclical ups and downs. We have numerous cycles - daily, monthly, etc - and they all overlap, so sometimes it's hard to determine where you are. So if you're feeling all used up and useless, it's just recharge time. Being still, being an observer, keeping to yourself... all natural. You're not failing, you're normal.
Just thinking, just staring at nothing, just going blank - this stage isn't anti-creative. It's PART OF creativity. I direct your attention to the last lasagna, chicken cacciatore, or Mexican mole you ate. So much time, effort, ingredients involved. And once it's finally done? It's not ready. No, you have to slide it in the fridge and pretend it isn't there for a whole day (Or for cheesecake, almost a week; beer even longer!), waiting for flavors to meld. Stewing in the dark makes the difference between dinner and a masterpiece. Sounds like you may have something great brewing, friend.
Thanks. Appreciate he positivity. Balance is always key. That mix of pushing myself and letting things flow. The timing is the hard part i guess. Maybe ive fucked my creative equilibrium a bit, dunno? I think i should focus on not focusing so much. Id like to learn a little more when it comes to meditation and paying attention to thise cycles. I think that would help my anxieties.
Hobo Mud
Well-known member
siid
Well-known member
Me too, dude. Reading your post felt like I was really my own internal dialogue.
I also dont believe in giving advice.
its an internal duality, i feel. its hard to keep going if your understimulated, and your surroundings become too familiar. its been a while since ive come across a person / movie / book / event / song thats made me go WooOooOooOoah i never thought of ____ that way, didnt think that was possible! things feel boring and everything feels the same.
ive been thinking a lot about this lately as ive been learning to play guitar because there is only one person whos music made me want to learn and keep moving forward and learn their songs, and it really feels like something when i play their songs but then I think i should try different music styles and that versatility will make me a better guitar player but playing other songs doesnt feel like anything and playing them makes me feel like a charade.
its so crazy that i even came across this thread, Ive been reading this book bob dylan wrote and the first 130 pages were torturous, boring, Just what the fuck. he writes 130 pages about OTHER people, books he read, how affected he was by the civil war, and Im thinking, theres no way this book is this boring, its gotta start somewhere so I didnt wanna give up reading it.
Then he starts getting into somethin bout how as he got older he started feeling everything we’ve all been mentioning, he was on a tour with tom Petty and the heart breakers and nothing felt like anything anymore, he didnt feel a connection to the audience, to his own songs, to the music, to his own performance , the setting, he felt like a charade presenting something he was disconnected to, uninspired, didnt want to continue. He was practicing in the studio for a new record and felt so completely dettached from the whole process he just got up said fuck it and left. He went down the block and walked into a bar where a jazz band was playing and something about they were performing triggered something in him that served as a catalyst , invigorating him in a way he felt inspired to gonback to the studio and approached the music in a different way, incorporating a different technique he learned from someone else years ago that he didnt understand at the time, but now clicked and it was enough to keep him going and push him forward in the way hed been searching for.
thats how ive been feeling like im waiting/searching for a catalyst thatll propell me forward , approaching things from different angles.
what an odd trifecta— myself, Bob dylan, this thread. Huh, lol
I deal with it by trying to learn/discover new things, reading books. And trying to be open and talk about it with the right people. Talking about it with the wrong people leaves me feeling hopeless, talking about it with the right people can be stimulating, and leaves me hopeful, its like brainstorming, new ideas can come about , trying to attack the problem from different angles
What creative process are you struggling with ?
I also dont believe in giving advice.
its an internal duality, i feel. its hard to keep going if your understimulated, and your surroundings become too familiar. its been a while since ive come across a person / movie / book / event / song thats made me go WooOooOooOoah i never thought of ____ that way, didnt think that was possible! things feel boring and everything feels the same.
ive been thinking a lot about this lately as ive been learning to play guitar because there is only one person whos music made me want to learn and keep moving forward and learn their songs, and it really feels like something when i play their songs but then I think i should try different music styles and that versatility will make me a better guitar player but playing other songs doesnt feel like anything and playing them makes me feel like a charade.
its so crazy that i even came across this thread, Ive been reading this book bob dylan wrote and the first 130 pages were torturous, boring, Just what the fuck. he writes 130 pages about OTHER people, books he read, how affected he was by the civil war, and Im thinking, theres no way this book is this boring, its gotta start somewhere so I didnt wanna give up reading it.
Then he starts getting into somethin bout how as he got older he started feeling everything we’ve all been mentioning, he was on a tour with tom Petty and the heart breakers and nothing felt like anything anymore, he didnt feel a connection to the audience, to his own songs, to the music, to his own performance , the setting, he felt like a charade presenting something he was disconnected to, uninspired, didnt want to continue. He was practicing in the studio for a new record and felt so completely dettached from the whole process he just got up said fuck it and left. He went down the block and walked into a bar where a jazz band was playing and something about they were performing triggered something in him that served as a catalyst , invigorating him in a way he felt inspired to gonback to the studio and approached the music in a different way, incorporating a different technique he learned from someone else years ago that he didnt understand at the time, but now clicked and it was enough to keep him going and push him forward in the way hed been searching for.
thats how ive been feeling like im waiting/searching for a catalyst thatll propell me forward , approaching things from different angles.
what an odd trifecta— myself, Bob dylan, this thread. Huh, lol
I deal with it by trying to learn/discover new things, reading books. And trying to be open and talk about it with the right people. Talking about it with the wrong people leaves me feeling hopeless, talking about it with the right people can be stimulating, and leaves me hopeful, its like brainstorming, new ideas can come about , trying to attack the problem from different angles
What creative process are you struggling with ?
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The other day I listened to an audiobook of the Tao Te Ching.
I'd never looked into Taoism, although you hear about it everywhere.
It isn't good writing. And actually it's terrible writing. The epitome of uncreative, dull.. 81 chapters of nothing.
But I realized something while listening.. and that was that all of this creative tension.. this burden-thing in my bones that many times feels like a hundred atom bombs dropping, sustained silent ineffable incredulity.. at the bar table, in the far corner of the library, on the corner of 7th and A ave or staring into the face across the cafe table drinking in your own.. these moments of insane inspiration are the moments I am most convinced that suffering is a thing of impossible creative potential.
Impossible because incommunicable. It is like a crucifixion.. or a crusade.. bearing up under this sort of holocaust in your heart and your head and no means to be found to put words to the affair. Not one pen not one jot of scratch paper....
Forget about it. Forget a-bout-it!!. All that's important is that you understand that you have something that you really ought to give, and that you work forward... slowly... painstakingly... forward as in utero forward as a diver as an underwater froglike quantum leaper prying forward into the darkest of your own buried treasure in your heart. Do not dream do not feign do not deign it to be more than it ought if you thought to fall for good and not forever
Write your thoughts down, mon. That's all I can say. Find a good strong fucking durable ass notebook and keep a stash of 4-5 pens in a pocket on your pack and when the almighty incredible good and evil hits you like a bat out of hell, stop. Stop and write. it. the. fuck. down, bro. Because you will soon forget all about it, again.
Be the center, be still, and everything will come to you.
All the best.
I'd never looked into Taoism, although you hear about it everywhere.
It isn't good writing. And actually it's terrible writing. The epitome of uncreative, dull.. 81 chapters of nothing.
But I realized something while listening.. and that was that all of this creative tension.. this burden-thing in my bones that many times feels like a hundred atom bombs dropping, sustained silent ineffable incredulity.. at the bar table, in the far corner of the library, on the corner of 7th and A ave or staring into the face across the cafe table drinking in your own.. these moments of insane inspiration are the moments I am most convinced that suffering is a thing of impossible creative potential.
Impossible because incommunicable. It is like a crucifixion.. or a crusade.. bearing up under this sort of holocaust in your heart and your head and no means to be found to put words to the affair. Not one pen not one jot of scratch paper....
Forget about it. Forget a-bout-it!!. All that's important is that you understand that you have something that you really ought to give, and that you work forward... slowly... painstakingly... forward as in utero forward as a diver as an underwater froglike quantum leaper prying forward into the darkest of your own buried treasure in your heart. Do not dream do not feign do not deign it to be more than it ought if you thought to fall for good and not forever
Write your thoughts down, mon. That's all I can say. Find a good strong fucking durable ass notebook and keep a stash of 4-5 pens in a pocket on your pack and when the almighty incredible good and evil hits you like a bat out of hell, stop. Stop and write. it. the. fuck. down, bro. Because you will soon forget all about it, again.
Be the center, be still, and everything will come to you.
All the best.
siid
Well-known member
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