Illegal Kiwi in the USA?

[Flying Kiwi]

Howdy all!
I am a New Zealand citizen who has been wanting to wander my way to the USA for quite some time now. But as I'm sure everyone is aware, unlike some other countries it isn't just a case of filling out some forms, paying a little cash and off you go.
I'm no student, no actual qualifications and no money (that lasts very long).
I have been looking into the various ways I could go about getting in, but staying for any length of time over three months and being entitled to work is practically impossible (legally) for me.
Soooooo.... I have been thinking perhaps I could enter on a tourist visa, and simply forget to leave for a while. Perhaps forget I'm not allowed to work for a while.
The things I wonder about are pretty much as follows... If I'm busted, how fucked am I going to be? Jail? Deportation? Lynching? Fine? HUGE FINE?!
Next, how quiet would I need to keep something like that? I am a straight, white male. While I judge no person on their skin colour, race, sexual preference or any of the things that we are often judged upon, I feel I should mention this here as I think a lot of people I'm going to have to interact with, perhaps work for or somesuch do judge people on these things, and perhaps they will make things easier or harder for me.
The only things I know about the perceptions of illegal immigrants in the USA are things I've gathered (mostly) from the mainstream media. Needless to say I have a largely one sided view of things in relation to that due to my lack of real information about it.
Next, work. I'm well aware I would be getting paid less than a legal worker would be paid., and I would have no real rights as far as being treated well/fairly/like anything other than a replaceable drone go. I am a hospitality worker essentially I have 15 years experience in that industry with some fruit picking/agricultural work thrown in for good measure, and to stop me losing my mind. How hard would it be (I know I'll get no definite answers, that's fine) to find work and live? I'm used to being broke. I don't mind where I sleep. I don't mind the occasional stolen steak from an asshole kitchen manager.
Basically, granted I can survive on my own two feet and my (only slightly addled) brain, is it doable?
Look forward to some advice. I'm currently living in Australia, and I've found a million people who, in their mind, have the definitive answer to my questions. None of them have been to the States. Bullshit.

Thanks all! Enjoy things. They rock.

 

[Deleted member 20]

Just come on over brova! Dont stress about stuff, we as a country dont care all that much. Come, get an address, social security #, drivers license etc & just aclimate. Dont get arrested for anything & you will be fine. Most times even if arrested, the dhs/imigration peeps will just send you letters after the jail/cops released you. If you do screw up & get arrested. We are a country of imigrants & migrants. Dont decide in staying forever until you get here. If you fall in love some day, get married & become legal. Dont carry your passport as your id, get a state issued id or intl drivers license. Dont go out of your way to tell everyone you are ilegal. Work under the table, perhaps at seasonal jobs like beach or ski towns if you are in hospitality. Most hotel/restaurant workers in cape cod are eastern european/russian. Us americans seem to accept caucasian undocumented imigrants better, so again you will be fine. Pm me for specifics.

 

[landpirate]

My ex boyfriend is British and went over to the states on a three month tourist visa. He stayed three years. the only reason he came back was because he was an idiot and got caught shoplifting some food. The police worked out he was illegal. He had sold his passport 2 years earlier had no money and so spent 3 months in prison before being sent back here to england. His flight was paid for by the US government and he was issued a temporary passport in order to leave and was banned from re-entering the USA for 5 years. He hasn't tried going back again so i don't know how having a ban that has run out would affect re-entry.

So basically as highwayman said as long as you keep your head down and don't get into trouble you'll more than likely be fine. I wish you luck and as a Non- US citizen myself I'll be really interested to find out how you get on.

ps. I forgot to add he worked mostly doing farm work and working travelling fairs/carnivals.

 

[MFB]

If you can cook you can certainly find a good job. Our whole service industry is built on the backs of spanish illegals.
Its almost expected in kitchens, I dont think I've ever worked at a place that didn't have at least a few.
Once you got plugged in I would think life's nessitities would fall into place fairly easy, you can always find a cheap room to rent no matter who you are, etc, etc.

 

[outskirts]

Some good paying summer seasonal work you could pick up as an undocumented worker would be pool service and landscaping. Be prepared to be worked to the bone with these, but they usually pay good if you can keep up and they are good if you just wanna make some travel money for a season and move on down the road. I've worked both back in the day and worked alongside people who couldn't get a good paying job anywhere else either because of a criminal record or being in the country illegally. The pool cleaning sucked though, I hated riding in the back of a van full of buckets and bottles of chemicals. The landscaping was mostly mowing lawns, mulching flower beds, and planting shrubbery for 10 - 12 hours a day for 5 1/2 days a week. I was making $9 an hour with this back in the late 1990's. I have no idea what the pay is these days, I'm to old for that shit now, its hard work.

Like everybody said, just come over and have a good time. Don't worry about everything you hear about "illegal aliens" in this country, you're an English speaking white male, the average American does not equate that with "illegal immigrant" in their mind, they will assume you are here legally. I doubt anyone will care so long as you stay out of trouble. If you do end up getting kicked out, try Canada next time around.

 

[Flying Kiwi]

Aaaaahhhh! Hot damn! I was really hoping this would be the general response to my questions!
To be honest, I was kind of assuming that that would be the case, but, you know, flying half way round the world to do some illegal shit based on an assumption alone is something I can't really afford to do! Plane tickets suck and they cost too much.
My next question would be, does anyone have any recommendations of states, cities, towns, random places in the desert that would be better to head to than others?
Myself, I'd really like to head to Arizona, Minnesota, perhaps Oregon, Louisiana, maybe Texas... I don't know. A lot of what draws me to the states is the art I love, music, writing, music again. Most of it seems to come from places like the once's I've listed above.
I don't really mind hard work for low pay. I come from New Zealand. While it is a beautiful, relaxed place to live, most Kiwi's will tell you (honestly) that most of the work is fucking hard, and most of the pay is painfully low, even for legal citizens, so on that note I'm not too worried about my employment and pay rates. As long as I can find some food I don't worry too much!
Thank you all so much for your replies and info! It helps a great deal!

 

[Deleted member 20]

Unsure if Texas is a part of the US, but i heard theres a US settlment in Austin. Jk of course but Texas is Texas I guess. They are a unique bunch down there.

 

[Flying Kiwi]

Ha! Austin was kinda my main draw to Texas, but it is truly hard to explain the curiosity of going to somewhere like Texas. When all you've ever, ever, known about the place is opinion, it sure does make me want to get there for a wander around. Still, like I say, I'm completely and unashamedly ignorant to the whole deal. Can't fucking want.