heyhihello i suck at intros

[T Spoon]

hi there i'm t / tea / t-spoon for now. i change my name more often than a baby with diarrhea changes it's diapers. i also really, really, really suck at introductions.

i've been free-living since i dropped out of college. started out in my car, living in it with my bae-at-the-time. now i live out of my backpack with my dog when i'm on the road. i've been housed up for a few months now and it kind of sucks, but after running into some fuckass who messed with me i've been a nervous about being homeless (home-free!) again.

idk to be blunt i'm in a tough place mentally. after trying to kill myself, i ended up back in arizona at my parents' house. i'm still trying to figure all that out and i figured i might as well meet some other traveling kids and vicariously live through them while i'm working through these mental escapades.

i found this site years ago and i only managed to join now. huh.

if you read all that props to you. thanks to taking the time to look at this. getting started on a new site is hard and these intros always feel so awkward. >n<

 

[Kuchi Kopi]

Cool pic! Can babies change their diapers?

 

[todd]

welcome!

 

[freegander]

WELCOME!

i'm sorry to hear about your mental stuff, but i hope you can keep working through it and that stp can help in some way. don't be afraid to reach out if you need something.

 

[Tude]

Hey - welcome to STP - I like the handle "T-Spoon". Sorry to hear of the health issues and I'm sure you have been told of the agencies around you etc, however we would like to see you do well. So while you recover (as I'm interpreting) while at parents house - read what we have here but also go explore the traveling community on the internet - google it. Google urban exploration, explore stories, traveling the adirondack trail - so much to read. Go for it.

 

[Billy Cougar White]

Welcome to StP, you will find many people on this site, and many traveling types in general have been or are in a tough place mentally. I went through a dark period myself when my doctor foolishly put me on an antidepressant, and it made my lows far worse. I have found traveling keeps me elevated mentally. As does daily cannabis use. When traveling on the road, or the roads of life, always reach out to those around you if you are in a bad place, or feel yourself slipping into one, please reach out to someone near you, or to anyone on this site. Many of us are happy to help, even just by being a listening ear.

 

[T Spoon]

Cool pic! Can babies change their diapers?

are they not supposed to? btdubs, your name is the bomb dot com.

Welcome to StP, you will find many people on this site, and many traveling types in general have been or are in a tough place mentally. I went through a dark period myself when my doctor foolishly put me on an antidepressant, and it made my lows far worse. I have found traveling keeps me elevated mentally. As does daily cannabis use. When traveling on the road, or the roads of life, always reach out to those around you if you are in a bad place, or feel yourself slipping into one, please reach out to someone near you, or to anyone on this site. Many of us are happy to help, even just by being a listening ear.

thanks! <3 i keep thinking that traveling will help me, but everyone around me wants me to go into treatment and i don't know which one is best for me. i have such an aversion to intensive treatment plans and i am feeling such a big pull to be on the road again.

Hey - welcome to STP - I like the handle "T-Spoon". Sorry to hear of the health issues and I'm sure you have been told of the agencies around you etc, however we would like to see you do well. So while you recover (as I'm interpreting) while at parents house - read what we have here but also go explore the traveling community on the internet - google it. Google urban exploration, explore stories, traveling the adirondack trail - so much to read. Go for it.

WELCOME!

i'm sorry to hear about your mental stuff, but i hope you can keep working through it and that stp can help in some way. don't be afraid to reach out if you need something.

thanks for the warm wishes & advice. trying to take it one day at a time!

 

[WeekendWarrior88]

Nice intro. Take care of your self, that's what some people travel for, that's what some people stay home for. I deal with suicidal thoughts, depression, anxiety, anger, and plenty of emotional bouts. When it got bad enough, I noticed it while travelling, that the problems were following me, so I finally knew it was me. I've stayed home since then, tried to find help, thought I was making progress, but there wasn't much actual progress. I mean, I go to the doctor, he prescribes me anti-depressants, I feel stoked for progress, eventually that wears out, I'm even more bummed out. Eventually, the combination of info I've received over the years from therapists, psychologists, doctors, psychiatrists, combined with my own research via books, youtube, blogs, psych 101, philosophy, tai chi, religion gave me some pretty good tools.

The most handy things that I learned to combat these declined mental states, was from tai chi theory (keyword: theory). It said that the brain has two halves, one is emotional, the other is logical, emotion is like a monkey, logic is like a horse. When a monkey gets too crazy, it antagonizes the horse and the horse becomes as wild as the monkey, yet the monkey has control over the horse by chasing it about, jumping across the trees, and bouncing on its back. In order to get the monkey to calm, you have to put it in a cage, but how do you get a monkey in a cage? You must offer it a banana. But what is this banana, it is awareness of breath. awareness of breath can be quite pleasant, you can feel it, along with a subtle feeling of dopamine release. Sometimes you can feel other sensations throughout the body (cold, hot, pulsing, vibration, pleasure, pain, sweat, dryness, itches), don't react, just observe. It's a simple meditation to practice and you can use it any time. I even use it while I'm driving by feeling and thinking about what the vehicle is doing. I can even limit myself to just feeling it, but I don't want to get bored while driving. Anyways, while doing this, pleasant or unpleasant thoughts may arise, this is part of the phenomena that occurs in our corporeal state of existence, itches is another of such phenomena. Learn to observe these thoughts, realize that they are impermanent (always changing), and they do not reflect who you are, but they reveal the wild nature of our own minds (there are lots of people with wild minds, we don't see the crazy thoughts of other people, we only see what is revealed to us). When bad thoughts surface, you cannot MAKE them go away, but you can let them run their course and fade away. Avoid mentally vocalizing reactions "no! make it stop! WHY WON'T THIS STOP?!?!" because such reactions feeds into a state of fear which makes us more likely to react fearfully and angrily to such thoughts, or even associations to such thoughts. And if you sit for 15-60 minutes per day, you'll watch these thoughts fade away faster every day. It's like your mind naturally forgets about such horrible thoughts.

That's only how I can explain it though, for you to experience this on your own is the goal. If you practice this, feel free to let me know what results you have. Also, you don't just have to sit and watch your breath, I like kung fu because it's more fun than meditation and it's easy to learn and practice.