hello everyone

[codycodnyk]

Hi everybody, this is just a little bit about me. Well my name is cody amd im 20 and im from ny, but trying to get out to california soon. When i was 15, i started going through some weird psych stuff, like really bad mood swings, waking up feeling really depressed and suicidal but not knowing why. I had bad anxiety too, and not knowing why you are so sad makes anxiety a lot worse. I just started getting really drunk or really high all day everyday. It sort of worked but alcohol also made me act really crazy. It made me wanna release all of my frustration by breaking shit. Well being 16, the school and my parents thought i was unsafe. I had a mini breakdown and spent my time bouncing around through psych hospitals, rehabs and rtfs until i was 18. What was weird was i sort of fell in love with the psych ward. I loved the people i was with and everybody was a lot nicer in there than all of the 'sane people'. I felt free to be crazy there, because i was like, 'im already in a psych ward, so who am i trying to fool? Im crazy and i know it'. I preferred that place over anywhere else at times. But also, it made me realize how much we as a species love to cause pain to others. That whole idea sends my brain into a brick wall of anxiety and anger. Thats why im trying tp head out to cali and find something new. I heard about slab city and im definitely headed there. The idea of getting a job and workong for my whole life, just for 4 walls and a roof or 'financial security' seems sort of unimportant to me if it means i wont be happy. So my goal is to get out to slab city and then see where i wanna go after that. Thanks for taking the time to read this.

 

[Kal]

Do what makes you happy man

 

[Ristoncor]

Hopefully you'll find some happiness out in Cali. Maybe a change of scenery will lift your spirits. Good luck on your travels!