"friends with benefits"

[Shakou]

Well, I'd say that it's fluid. You're happy with your current relationship and its parameters now, and that's awesome. But we're only human, and we're bound to change like any other being within nature. Socially, marriage is a contract that you and your partner will stay faithful to one another for the rest of your lives; but who's to know how you'll both feel in ten, twenty years. Once a relationship like the one your in comes to pass, propping it up under the flag of monogamy is a sure way to doom both of you to sexual and romantic stagnation. In that respect, monogamy can be oppressive.
Also, by your phrasing you seem to be implying that it is one or the other; casual sex or monogamy. There is a great deal in between, and it seems to be a realm not as frequently explored as the others. Right now, polyamory works well for me. I'm of the persuasion that our individual needs on a platonic, romantic, and sexual level are way too diverse to be met by a single person. That's why I have several partners, of either gender, each fulfilling my needs, while I work to meet theirs. We're a tribe, scratching each others backs in new, deeply fulfilling spiritual ways. It's beautiful.

lol, dude I can assure you that if for some reason my marriage comes to an end in 10 - 20 years, it won't be because I have the sudden urge to go out and fuck a bunch of guys. There's nothing wrong with Polyamory, but different things work for different people, and what works for you doesn't necessarily work with everyone else.

 

[jenniferelettrico]

Everything happens for a reason, so go with your gut. I have a friend that I have "benefits" with, and it's good to just share the time you have now with someone else, and just let go. At first, I was uncertain if this is what I wanted...because I was scared feelings would get involved, and one of us would get hurt. But we talked about it, and still do from time to time, and we've decided to just let things happen.

 

[outskirts]

"Friends with benefits" seems to sum up most of my relationships. I did the monogamous thing once, for a whole year and a half.
Friends with benefits is more comfortable than one
night stands but far more freedom than a monogamous relationship. It just seems to work for me and most of the women
that I've been involved with, they recognize that I'm not Mr. Right, I'm just Mr. Right Now, lol.
One night stands(or in my case they often end up two night stands) can be frustrating when the sex is really good and you
only get a second night with that person and want sex with them again. I probably shouldn't complain, the fact that they
come back and get one more time for the road... I must be doing something right
Sometimes the sex is bad though and you're glad it was just a fling and you're not stuck with that person.
My experience with monogamy was a nightmare and I no longer have any contact with that woman and plan to keep it that
way. Emotional incompatibility was the main problem, I just couldn't handle her jealousies and insecurities. That and I don't
like having a warden, I like making my own choices and not having to check in with someone all the time.
I recently had a debate with a female friend(who I'm not involved with) about monogamy vs non-monogamy.
It got interesting when we brought up STD's. She said statistically monogamy is safer, I challenged that with the fact that
ones guard is down in a monogamous situation. If your having unprotected sex in a monogamous relationship and your
partner cheats on you and didn't use a condom... hey you never saw it coming. But if one is in a non-monogamous situation
and smart about it, you're always on guard for such things. Like myself for instance, I use condoms and sometimes get
STD tests(also encourage others to get tested too). Plus I've had a vasectomy since accidents do happen and I don't want to add
to the world's over population problem. Sexually it can be a dangerous world out there, but
I do my best to take precautions.
Sometimes "friends with benefits" can get tricky when one person starts catching stronger feelings than the other person.
I think the trick to making it work is to make sure the person is on the same level with you emotionally. It sure helps
if you both have a healthy sense of freedom and need for personal space. Lack of jealousy is also important.
I guess in the end it's really comes down to communication, what exactly you both require and need from one another.
I've heard of and been in quite a few different situations with this thing called "friends with benefits". It's a lot of grey area
between monogamy, poly-senarios and random hook ups. It's what you make of it I guess.

 

[Az Tek]

Sometimes "friends with benefits" can get tricky when one person starts catching stronger feelings than the other person.
I think the trick to making it work is to make sure the person is on the same level with you emotionally. It sure helps
if you both have a healthy sense of freedom and need for personal space. Lack of jealousy is also important.