Four loko Gold 14% ABV (a review)

K

Kim Chee

I deleted myself
image-jpeg.30992_Four loko Gold 14% ABV (a review)_General Banter_Squat the Planet_10:25 AM


It has been awhile since I heard anything about Four Loko (probably for a good reason). Anyway, I just got back from the neighborhood likker store and had to give it a go. The label said it was new and 14% which is what really got my attention...as if 12% wasn't enough already, the makers of Four Loko continue to push the envelope of overproof carbonated beverages. Ok, I must confess, it could be their newest flavor, but in my neighborhood there is no demand for this kind of schwill and I'm probably drinking something which has aged in the can for at least a year. It comes in a 23 1/2 oz can (I didn't see any other sizes offered). Supposedly, it contains caramel color to go with the "gold" label, but I'll never know because I'm not going to make a glass dirty for this review. My impression on first sip was that this is indeed something I've had before. A couple sips later I figure that the flavor that they were trying to achieve was grape (doesn't say anything about grape on the can). A few sips later, I'm starting to feel a little buzz. It is fairly sweet and it is best enjoyed cold to avoid that sickening, gross ass taste Four Loko is known so well for. I hope if you decide to drink that you are sensible about it and stay the hell away from this shit!
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1 person

Mankini

I'm a d-bag and got banned.
Banned
Joined
Dec 4, 2014
Messages
1,515
Current Location
en route
I concur.
Light gold. Remarkably perfumed nose projects an exotic bouquet of deep, yellow fruit, minerals, honeycomb, smoked meat and flowers, with Asian spices building expanding in the glass. Almost painfully concentrated, offering a surreal parade of orchard and pit fruits, smoked meat, toasted brioche and marrow braced by intensely salty, stunningly incisive minerality. Imagine a Frankenstein's monster of Chablis Le Clos and Clos Ste. Hune-but one with perfect balance, of course-and you get an idea of what I found in my can. The energetic, stony character builds exponentially on the finish, which didn't seem to, well, finish. The best analogy I can come up with for the intensity, focus and clarity of this beverage is liquefied barbed wire. Utterly hallucinatory and one of the most amazing I've ever been fortunate enough to drink. At the risk of sounding completely out of touch with reality, this is a value.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 3 people
OP
K

Kim Chee

I deleted myself
...At the risk of sounding completely out of touch with reality, this is a value.
Indeed it is a value (if you hold drunkenness over future medical expenses).

Kinda wish I purchased another, nah...scratch that;)
 

MolotovMocktail

Subverting from within
Staff member
Moderator
Joined
Oct 15, 2013
Messages
846
Age
23
Current Location
Bellingham, WA
Recently tried Four Loko for the first time at the insistence of a friend and was not impressed. If I'm looking for low-cost, high-proof, sugary gas station booze that properly reflects my poor life choices, there's only one option:

wine-bottle-png.30993_Four loko Gold 14% ABV (a review)_General Banter_Squat the Planet_12:18 PM
 
  • Like
Reactions: 4 people

Mankini

I'm a d-bag and got banned.
Banned
Joined
Dec 4, 2014
Messages
1,515
Current Location
en route
Putting up reviews of gas stations with fine wine and liquor selections on yelp/trip advisor.
 

bystander

Wanderer
Joined
Aug 10, 2014
Messages
179
Current Location
Earth
I remember when it was the real shit.

dat shit after slamming one, youre blackin-out. after three youve discovered (well people have) you have an alter ego, who will claim full responsibility tonight for the fuck'd up shit you're doing & about to do.

yet-

leave you feeling lost, cold & violated on a random home owners porch- 4 miles from your last known location.

or maybe that was just me & my under developed 19yr old head.

I just didn't understand & respct the power of 4 loko
 
  • Like
Reactions: 2 people
OP
F

FrumpyWatkins

I deleted myself
This thread is hilarious, chuckling aloud.
 

Coywolf

Mastering the Art of Houselessness
Joined
Dec 12, 2014
Messages
1,513
Age
31
Current Location
Flagstaff, AZ
Website
www.youtube.com
Shit man, I cant even drink four loko anymore. Everytime I try to drink those fake "malt" beverages (except for 40s) I get this horrible pain in the bake of my neck (where alcohol processes through the spine). I have talked to many doctors, and they are stumped, they just say 'dont drink it'. No shit. But I still end up with one under a bridge at night on occasion, wondering, why, how, and when I decided that would be a good idea......anyone else get this?
 

Coywolf

Mastering the Art of Houselessness
Joined
Dec 12, 2014
Messages
1,513
Age
31
Current Location
Flagstaff, AZ
Website
www.youtube.com
Also, WTF happend to glass 40s?! I feel a hell of a lot less gangster drinking out of a plastic bottle.....thats really the only reason I drank colt 45. To fit in....='(. ....oh well, back to my non-hardcore-ass lifestyle of drinking straight of of a whiskey bottle....
 
  • Like
Reactions: 2 people

bystander

Wanderer
Joined
Aug 10, 2014
Messages
179
Current Location
Earth
Also, WTF happend to glass 40s?! I feel a hell of a lot less gangster drinking out of a plastic bottle.....thats really the only reason I drank colt 45. To fit in....='(. ....oh well, back to my non-hardcore-ass lifestyle of drinking straight of of a whiskey bottle....
exactly. Drinkin' 40s & smashin' bottles. The nostalgia- is what they were.

wtf do we do now? recycle?

most aren't 40oz no more... they got random like 27oz or 36oz.

& you sir, have graduated from 'punk kid who throws (back) 40s- to a sophisticated adult who enjoys something a lil stronger.. with or without cup & chaser.
 

Similar threads


About us

  • Squat the Planet is the world's largest social network for misfit travelers. Join our community of do-it-yourself nomads and learn how to explore the world by any means necessary.

    More Info

Support StP!

Donations go towards paying our monthly server fees, adding new features to the website, and occasionally putting a burrito in Matt's mouth.

Total amount
$100.00
Goal
$100.00

Monthly Goals

  1. Paying the Bills
    $50.00 of $50.00 - reached!
    The first $50 in donations go towards paying our monthly server fees and adding new features to the website. Once this goal is reached, we'll see about feeding Matt that burrito.
  2. Buy Matt a Beer
    $75.00 of $75.00 - reached!
    Now that we have the bills paid for this month, let's give Matt a hearty thank you by buying him a drink for all the hard work he's done for StP. Hopefully his will help keep him from going insane after a long day of squishing website bugs.
  3. Feed Matt a Burrito
    $100.00 of $100.00 - reached!
    Now that the bills are paid and Matt has a beer in his hand, how about showing him your love by rewarding all his hard work with a big fat burrito to put in his mouth. This will keep him alive while programming new features for the website.
  4. Finance the Shopping Cart
    $100.00 of $200.00
    Now that the bills are paid and Matt is fed, perhaps it's time to start planning for those twilight years under the bridge... if only he had that golden shopping cart all the oogles are bragging about these days.

Latest Status Updates

Trying to decide between colorado and portland.
In Winslow, AZ, and then on to Holbrook, with the Box. Anyone around these parts?
Takin a break from work to head up to Laramie for a few days to play some shows this weekend. Thank fuck, I need this.
BirdDaddy wrote on Tommythecat's profile.
Welcome to STP man!
BirdDaddy wrote on jypzi's profile.
You deleted you?
ALmost to Vegas, and I started getting dizzy

I am not made for the ruggedness of traveling all the time

Adieu
My eyes are A okay!!! I guess floaters squiggly lines heat waves flashing lights cloudy and blurred vision are normal...I guess. It's new to me, and realy hard tk.get use to. I have had better than perfact vision my entire life. I still do too, I just have shit in my field of vision somtimes nowadays I guess
Just did my first single handed sailing trip. Video to come if I can figure out how to edit video clips

Staff online

About us

  • Squat the Planet is the world's largest social network for misfit travelers. Join our community of do-it-yourself nomads and learn how to explore the world by any means necessary.

    More Info

Monthly Goals

  1. Paying the Bills
    $50.00 of $50.00 - reached!
    The first $50 in donations go towards paying our monthly server fees and adding new features to the website. Once this goal is reached, we'll see about feeding Matt that burrito.
  2. Buy Matt a Beer
    $75.00 of $75.00 - reached!
    Now that we have the bills paid for this month, let's give Matt a hearty thank you by buying him a drink for all the hard work he's done for StP. Hopefully his will help keep him from going insane after a long day of squishing website bugs.
  3. Feed Matt a Burrito
    $100.00 of $100.00 - reached!
    Now that the bills are paid and Matt has a beer in his hand, how about showing him your love by rewarding all his hard work with a big fat burrito to put in his mouth. This will keep him alive while programming new features for the website.
  4. Finance the Shopping Cart
    $100.00 of $200.00
    Now that the bills are paid and Matt is fed, perhaps it's time to start planning for those twilight years under the bridge... if only he had that golden shopping cart all the oogles are bragging about these days.

Forum Statistics

Threads
23,980
Messages
218,931
Members
8,737
Threads in last 24 hours
6
Messages in last 24 hours
59
Members in last 30 days
972
Latest member
Defecatingspangers