Four loko Gold 14% ABV (a review) (1 Viewer)

K

Kim Chee

I deleted myself
image-jpeg.30992_Four loko Gold 14% ABV (a review)_General Banter_Squat the Planet_10:25 AM


It has been awhile since I heard anything about Four Loko (probably for a good reason). Anyway, I just got back from the neighborhood likker store and had to give it a go. The label said it was new and 14% which is what really got my attention...as if 12% wasn't enough already, the makers of Four Loko continue to push the envelope of overproof carbonated beverages. Ok, I must confess, it could be their newest flavor, but in my neighborhood there is no demand for this kind of schwill and I'm probably drinking something which has aged in the can for at least a year. It comes in a 23 1/2 oz can (I didn't see any other sizes offered). Supposedly, it contains caramel color to go with the "gold" label, but I'll never know because I'm not going to make a glass dirty for this review. My impression on first sip was that this is indeed something I've had before. A couple sips later I figure that the flavor that they were trying to achieve was grape (doesn't say anything about grape on the can). A few sips later, I'm starting to feel a little buzz. It is fairly sweet and it is best enjoyed cold to avoid that sickening, gross ass taste Four Loko is known so well for. I hope if you decide to drink that you are sensible about it and stay the hell away from this shit!
 
Click here to buy the Anarchist's Guide to Travel!

Mankini

I'm a d-bag and got banned.
Banned
Joined
Dec 4, 2014
Messages
1,515
Current Location
en route
I concur.
Light gold. Remarkably perfumed nose projects an exotic bouquet of deep, yellow fruit, minerals, honeycomb, smoked meat and flowers, with Asian spices building expanding in the glass. Almost painfully concentrated, offering a surreal parade of orchard and pit fruits, smoked meat, toasted brioche and marrow braced by intensely salty, stunningly incisive minerality. Imagine a Frankenstein's monster of Chablis Le Clos and Clos Ste. Hune-but one with perfect balance, of course-and you get an idea of what I found in my can. The energetic, stony character builds exponentially on the finish, which didn't seem to, well, finish. The best analogy I can come up with for the intensity, focus and clarity of this beverage is liquefied barbed wire. Utterly hallucinatory and one of the most amazing I've ever been fortunate enough to drink. At the risk of sounding completely out of touch with reality, this is a value.
 
OP
K

Kim Chee

I deleted myself
...At the risk of sounding completely out of touch with reality, this is a value.
Indeed it is a value (if you hold drunkenness over future medical expenses).

Kinda wish I purchased another, nah...scratch that;)
 

MolotovMocktail

Subverting from within
Staff member
Moderator
Joined
Oct 15, 2013
Messages
878
Age
24
Current Location
Bellingham, WA
Recently tried Four Loko for the first time at the insistence of a friend and was not impressed. If I'm looking for low-cost, high-proof, sugary gas station booze that properly reflects my poor life choices, there's only one option:

wine-bottle-png.30993_Four loko Gold 14% ABV (a review)_General Banter_Squat the Planet_12:18 PM
 

Mankini

I'm a d-bag and got banned.
Banned
Joined
Dec 4, 2014
Messages
1,515
Current Location
en route
Putting up reviews of gas stations with fine wine and liquor selections on yelp/trip advisor.
 

bystander

Pilgrim
Joined
Aug 10, 2014
Messages
180
Current Location
Earth
I remember when it was the real shit.

dat shit after slamming one, youre blackin-out. after three youve discovered (well people have) you have an alter ego, who will claim full responsibility tonight for the fuck'd up shit you're doing & about to do.

yet-

leave you feeling lost, cold & violated on a random home owners porch- 4 miles from your last known location.

or maybe that was just me & my under developed 19yr old head.

I just didn't understand & respct the power of 4 loko
 
OP
F

FrumpyWatkins

I deleted myself
This thread is hilarious, chuckling aloud.
 

Coywolf

Mastering the Art of Houselessness
Joined
Dec 12, 2014
Messages
1,756
Age
31
Current Location
Northern Arizona
Website
www.youtube.com
Shit man, I cant even drink four loko anymore. Everytime I try to drink those fake "malt" beverages (except for 40s) I get this horrible pain in the bake of my neck (where alcohol processes through the spine). I have talked to many doctors, and they are stumped, they just say 'dont drink it'. No shit. But I still end up with one under a bridge at night on occasion, wondering, why, how, and when I decided that would be a good idea......anyone else get this?
 

Coywolf

Mastering the Art of Houselessness
Joined
Dec 12, 2014
Messages
1,756
Age
31
Current Location
Northern Arizona
Website
www.youtube.com
Also, WTF happend to glass 40s?! I feel a hell of a lot less gangster drinking out of a plastic bottle.....thats really the only reason I drank colt 45. To fit in....='(. ....oh well, back to my non-hardcore-ass lifestyle of drinking straight of of a whiskey bottle....
 

bystander

Pilgrim
Joined
Aug 10, 2014
Messages
180
Current Location
Earth
Also, WTF happend to glass 40s?! I feel a hell of a lot less gangster drinking out of a plastic bottle.....thats really the only reason I drank colt 45. To fit in....='(. ....oh well, back to my non-hardcore-ass lifestyle of drinking straight of of a whiskey bottle....
exactly. Drinkin' 40s & smashin' bottles. The nostalgia- is what they were.

wtf do we do now? recycle?

most aren't 40oz no more... they got random like 27oz or 36oz.

& you sir, have graduated from 'punk kid who throws (back) 40s- to a sophisticated adult who enjoys something a lil stronger.. with or without cup & chaser.
 

Users Who Are Viewing This Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 1)

About us

  • Squat the Planet is the world's largest social network for misfit travelers. Join our community of do-it-yourself nomads and learn how to explore the world by any means necessary.

    More Info

Support StP!

Donations go towards paying our monthly server fees, adding new features to the website, and occasionally putting a burrito in Matt's mouth.

Total amount
$0.00
Goal
$100.00

Monthly Goals

  1. Paying the Bills
    $0.00 of $50.00
    The first $50 in donations go towards paying our monthly server fees and adding new features to the website. Once this goal is reached, we'll see about feeding Matt that burrito.
  2. Buy Matt a Beer
    $0.00 of $75.00
    Now that we have the bills paid for this month, let's give Matt a hearty thank you by buying him a drink for all the hard work he's done for StP. Hopefully his will help keep him from going insane after a long day of squishing website bugs.
  3. Feed Matt a Burrito
    $0.00 of $100.00
    Now that the bills are paid and Matt has a beer in his hand, how about showing him your love by rewarding all his hard work with a big fat burrito to put in his mouth. This will keep him alive while programming new features for the website.
  4. Finance the Shopping Cart
    $0.00 of $200.00
    Now that the bills are paid and Matt is fed, perhaps it's time to start planning for those twilight years under the bridge... if only he had that golden shopping cart all the oogles are bragging about these days.

Latest Status Updates

I have a pretty good new squat in sfe but im leaving soon if anyone wants the keys lmk.
The peavine is gorgeous, I highly recommend that route.
Fucking winter snuck up this year
Damn It! I've been thinking and debating about applying for a position as an Amtrash locomotive engineer! They have openings for Salt Lake City, UT and St. Cloud, MN. I know I got to go through training but I'll be on call 24/7? There goes my sex life and night time weekend parties! Screw that, I'll play with my train set-No Pun=No Joke!
Made back up into Cincy for the weekend. Gonna chill with some homies before we head west for the winter..
'The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.' -Elie Wiesel
Bey
First Vermont snowfall; Bon hiver, everybody!
anybody up in alaska wanna play some tunes?
Supposed Mocha wrote on Chimpsarereal's profile.
Oh youre already in MI! I feel dense now, I'm in GR myself and could meet around here or West MI