Four loko Gold 14% ABV (a review)

[Kim Chee]

It has been awhile since I heard anything about Four Loko (probably for a good reason). Anyway, I just got back from the neighborhood likker store and had to give it a go. The label said it was new and 14% which is what really got my attention...as if 12% wasn't enough already, the makers of Four Loko continue to push the envelope of overproof carbonated beverages. Ok, I must confess, it could be their newest flavor, but in my neighborhood there is no demand for this kind of schwill and I'm probably drinking something which has aged in the can for at least a year. It comes in a 23 1/2 oz can (I didn't see any other sizes offered). Supposedly, it contains caramel color to go with the "gold" label, but I'll never know because I'm not going to make a glass dirty for this review. My impression on first sip was that this is indeed something I've had before. A couple sips later I figure that the flavor that they were trying to achieve was grape (doesn't say anything about grape on the can). A few sips later, I'm starting to feel a little buzz. It is fairly sweet and it is best enjoyed cold to avoid that sickening, gross ass taste Four Loko is known so well for. I hope if you decide to drink that you are sensible about it and stay the hell away from this shit!

 

[Mankini]

I concur.
Light gold. Remarkably perfumed nose projects an exotic bouquet of deep, yellow fruit, minerals, honeycomb, smoked meat and flowers, with Asian spices building expanding in the glass. Almost painfully concentrated, offering a surreal parade of orchard and pit fruits, smoked meat, toasted brioche and marrow braced by intensely salty, stunningly incisive minerality. Imagine a Frankenstein's monster of Chablis Le Clos and Clos Ste. Hune-but one with perfect balance, of course-and you get an idea of what I found in my can. The energetic, stony character builds exponentially on the finish, which didn't seem to, well, finish. The best analogy I can come up with for the intensity, focus and clarity of this beverage is liquefied barbed wire. Utterly hallucinatory and one of the most amazing I've ever been fortunate enough to drink. At the risk of sounding completely out of touch with reality, this is a value.

 

[Kim Chee]

...At the risk of sounding completely out of touch with reality, this is a value.

Indeed it is a value (if you hold drunkenness over future medical expenses).

Kinda wish I purchased another, nah...scratch that

 

[MolotovMocktail]

Recently tried Four Loko for the first time at the insistence of a friend and was not impressed. If I'm looking for low-cost, high-proof, sugary gas station booze that properly reflects my poor life choices, there's only one option:

 

[Mankini]

That shitll kill ya.

 

[Art101]

http://bumwine.com/

 

[Mankini]

Putting up reviews of gas stations with fine wine and liquor selections on yelp/trip advisor.

 

[Mankini]

https://www.yelp.com/search?find_desc=Wine+Bars&find_loc=Bronx,+NY&ns=1

https://www.yelp.com/search?find_desc=Irish+pub&find_loc=South+Boston,+Boston,+MA

 

[bystander]

I remember when it was the real shit.

dat shit after slamming one, youre blackin-out. after three youve discovered (well people have) you have an alter ego, who will claim full responsibility tonight for the fuck'd up shit you're doing & about to do.

yet-

leave you feeling lost, cold & violated on a random home owners porch- 4 miles from your last known location.

or maybe that was just me & my under developed 19yr old head.

I just didn't understand & respct the power of 4 loko

 

[FrumpyWatkins]

This thread is hilarious, chuckling aloud.

 

[Coywolf]

Shit man, I cant even drink four loko anymore. Everytime I try to drink those fake "malt" beverages (except for 40s) I get this horrible pain in the bake of my neck (where alcohol processes through the spine). I have talked to many doctors, and they are stumped, they just say 'dont drink it'. No shit. But I still end up with one under a bridge at night on occasion, wondering, why, how, and when I decided that would be a good idea......anyone else get this?

 

[Coywolf]

Also, WTF happend to glass 40s?! I feel a hell of a lot less gangster drinking out of a plastic bottle.....thats really the only reason I drank colt 45. To fit in....='(. ....oh well, back to my non-hardcore-ass lifestyle of drinking straight of of a whiskey bottle....

 

[Coywolf]

http://bumwine.com/

LMFAO! The internet will never cease to amaze me...Im posting this to my local community resources board....

 

[Mankini]

Pair this with a crisp Pene au gratin.

 

[bystander]

Also, WTF happend to glass 40s?! I feel a hell of a lot less gangster drinking out of a plastic bottle.....thats really the only reason I drank colt 45. To fit in....='(. ....oh well, back to my non-hardcore-ass lifestyle of drinking straight of of a whiskey bottle....

exactly. Drinkin' 40s & smashin' bottles. The nostalgia- is what they were.

wtf do we do now? recycle?

most aren't 40oz no more... they got random like 27oz or 36oz.

& you sir, have graduated from 'punk kid who throws (back) 40s- to a sophisticated adult who enjoys something a lil stronger.. with or without cup & chaser.