FAQ's I get about being a Black Belt and the Martial Arts Cultures (1 Viewer)

BradKajukenbo

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I get so many questions about being a Martial Artist. A few from here and those who visit or sign up for classes.

Do you have to register your hands as a lethal weapon when you become a black belt?
This is one of the oldest American martial arts legends, and there is absolutely no basis or reality in it. First off, there is no department or process within the U.S. government to regulate martial arts, which means there is no instrument in place to identify persons practicing fighting arts, and no governmental method by which practitioners can be evaluated. Such a feat of regulation would cost millions, if not billions, and would be an invasion of civil rights. Actually there is not a country on earth where martial artists are required to register themselves as weapons, deadly or otherwise.

Just like defending yourself with a gun or weapon, there are self defense laws you must follow. There are a lot of black belts in prison.

How long does it take to become a black belt?
This depends on the student. It took me 3 1/2 years. You HAVE to be dedicated. From white to black, when I wasn't at work, I was in class. 6 days a week. Wake up at 5:30am, be at class at 6am. Train for two hours. Work 9-5. 6pm-9pm I was back in class. But I would suggest students learn at their own pace.

Do you break bricks or boards?
I've never had an argument with a board or a brick. It's actually an art itself. My old Sifu always said "I don't break bricks. I break bones"

Will I get hurt or injured taking Martial Arts?
The greatest teacher is pain. You can go from white to black without getting hurt in class. Then when having to defend yourself, you get punched, or kicked for the first time your body almost goes into a slight moment of shock which is enough time for your attacker to hurt or kill you. All those "OOPS" and you get in class can suck, but its also helping you get used to being hit or hurt so if ever having to defend yourself, you are used to the great teacher we call pain.

From white to black, I've had many dislocated fingers, shoulders, toes, and an elbow. Two broken rips. Many black eyes and fat lips. My right eye brow split open. 6 stitches on the inside. 14 on the outside. The class rule for adults was if you were hurt in class, after you got out of the ER, you had to get back to the Dojo and finish your class session. If you wanted the next belt promotion.

Have you ever had to fight or defend yourself?
First there is a big difference between fighting and defending yourself. A fight is when two people agree to a physical altercation. Defending yourself is when you had no chance or a way to walk away.

The answer is NO. I don't learn or teach anyone how to fight. I learn and teach my students how to defend themselves. GET IN. GET IT DONE. GO HOME!

Does it work?
Here are some scenarios of some attacks and how effective self defense systems can be

























To earn even earn your black belt you must prove to your teacher of how humble you are. You never know when your teacher will test how humble you can be. Your teacher will test you on if you walk away or if you can stand there with someone in your face calling you ever name in the book.

You also must understand that all life has value. That POS who tried to rob or attack you. That POS has a family too. Someone loves that POS. A father, mother, brother, sister, son, daughter, wife. This is where self control comes in.

What does Bruce Lee mean? "Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless — like water. Now you put water in a cup, it becomes the cup; You put water into a bottle it becomes the bottle; You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend. "
To be somone, you have to become someone. To be a cook, you have to become a cook. The whole point is about learning and how to learn. Learn it in a flow like water. Water is one of the most strongest elements. Strong enough to penetrate concrete, yet too formless and shapeless to grasp.
 
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BradKajukenbo

BradKajukenbo

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Do you teach the Miyagi system?
I've actually been asked this quite a few times. In the Martial Arts world we call it WAX ON WACK OFF system. Though in fighting scenes in the movies were based off Kung Fu.

Did you know?
Ralph Macchio, Pat Morita, William Zabka never studied martial arts. The only actor on the set of the movie who was a martial artist was Martin Kove who played Sensei John Kreese.
 

Juan Derlust

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Are you at all familiar with Mexican Judo?



*I'll edit in the punchline so I'm not artificially boosting my stats

Ju don' know if I gotta knife, ju don' know if I gotta gun...
 
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Older Than Dirt

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Or as Sammy Davis Jr (an African-American Jewish-convert singer popular among your great-grandparents, for the kids) once asked, "Did you ever see a Jew jitsu?"

Still laughing hard at Mexican judo, though i am more familiar with it as "Puerto Rican judo" being from the east coast.
______________
For anyone who thinks there is something sinsister about my edit from "Puerto Rican kung-fu" to "Puerto Rican judo" (or who does not get Comrade @Juan Derlust 's joke), just trying to simplify- the original east coast version of the joke as i heard it as a kid is "Didja ever hear of Puerto Rican kung-fu? It's kinda like judo- judo know if he gotta knife, judo know if he gotta gun."
 
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Older Than Dirt

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The black Robert Goulet really...

[posted while watching Sammy Davis vid, dude could fucking sing and was funny as shit. And cheesy as fuck, obv. Pretty much all adults on television back then were smoking, for the kids]

 
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Juan Derlust

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Yep, Bobby Goulet always used to tell me 'Never drop names...'

Kidding aside, I used to see him on his enormous yacht (RoGo) in Marina del Rey - he was a great guy
 

Older Than Dirt

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Sorta kinda similar, except the Hispanic/Latinx folks referred to in the jokes are known to prefer gentelmanly "martial arts" involving firearms and edged weapons to vulgar brawls with bare hands and feet.

As does any sensible person.

Here are the SECRETS of "Mexican judo/Puerto Rican kung-fu" for those unable to attend classes [translated by the author himslf from the Spanish originals communicated to me by Brooklyn Santero gangster initiates*]:

1) Don't be an asshole, be nice to people, and be polite to people.

2) Apologize (ilke any person raised indoors would do) if they get mad.

3) If this does not work, run like fuck.

3) If #1 AND #2 AND #3 ALL fail, stay at least 25' away from bad guy ,and fire at will. If unable to do this, stab 'em up.


____________
*Shout out to long-gone, very legendary , north Brooklyn cocaine-and -salsa afterhours club "Kokie's Place"; been there, done that, and literally got the T-shirt [very hard to get even then; i think they made like 50?] .
 
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Older Than Dirt

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Here, your old (and i do mean old) pal Older Than Dirt shows "Position 1", wearing said "Kokie's Place" t-shirt and the New York Junkies cap that forms the key part of the "Puerto Rican kung-fu" gi, as taught to me by the long-dead north Brooklyn Santero gangster masters of this esoteric art.

This position is also known by practitioners, and victims, as the "Step Off Before You Get Hurt Bitch! " position.

img_0065-1-jpg.52472_FAQ's I get about being a Black Belt and the Martial Arts Cultures_People & Cultures_Squat the Planet_1:21 PM


[Photo by teenage son who had difficulty holding camera steady laughing at dad . Pellet gun unloaded in violation of all i was taught, but i love my son, and only point guns at people i am willing to kill.]

Disclaimer: i do not practice law, but rather am an elderly and often drunk armed lunatic. By all that is sacred, nothing contained in this post could possibly be construed as legal advice by anyone not dumber than a hammer. As always, everyone should always get legal advice from a competent attorney admitted in their jurisdiction before defending themself against, or assaulting, or failing to assault, or failing to defend themself against, anyone whatever, or doing, or failing to do, anything whatever. I hope this is all clear now.
 
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Juan Derlust

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Here you go (& in case you were wondering) I don't have show you any stinkin badges!!!
65ce9637-ccd0-42ed-88c9-3ea7f4cdca60-jpeg.52473_FAQ's I get about being a Black Belt and the Martial Arts Cultures_People & Cultures_Squat the Planet_1:53 PM
 

Juan Derlust

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Great - the new neighbor across the cul-de-sac herding her kids into their SUV, staring in disbelief as I shout and point at my phone
 

Older Than Dirt

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illustrations of the two further positions, Positions #2 and #3, will have to await the wife getting home from work, as we need a person to model as the "Vic" [the technical term for one who receives a PRKF technique- compare "Uke" in Aikido] and a photographer to take pics of me and said "Vic".

The term "Vic" is used by NYC police in homage to the effectiveness of this martial art. Often thought (mistakenly) to be short for "victim", but this is actually a SECRET PRKF martial-arts term.

Position #2 is "Taking The Shit Off Of That Dumb Motherfucker That Stepped To Me After I Told Homes What's Up" (aka, in the words of verse 12 of the "Don't Even!" sutra, "Take all that cash, son, and any drugs, gold, and any weapons that bitch-ass sucka ain't use."].

Position #3 may be familiar to many here; it is the "Step The Fuck Off Before 'The Man' Gets There, Son!" position.

Disclaimer: i do not practice law, but rather am an elderly and often drunk armed lunatic. By all that is sacred, nothing contained in this post could possibly be construed as legal advice by anyone not dumber than a hammer. As always, everyone should always get legal advice from a competent attorney admitted in their jurisdiction before defending themself against, or assaulting, or failing to assault, or failing to defend themself against, anyone whatever, or doing, or failing to do, anything whatever. I hope this is all clear now.
 
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