Ever tried to “settle down”? (1 Viewer)

QU1DAM

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Ever tried to setlle down with someone you met while traveling? If so how did it go?

Personally, tried this for 8 years now, and we’re back on the road again but now with a van... and i kinda realized i gave up on something that was really bringing me a good life away from haunting places and people. Traveling brought me new people and experiences that helped complete my life and I regret ever giving up on it and trying to be in Babylon again... I like who I was when I was traveling more than who I’ve become while trying to be established.

Not sure what to think of it, kinda depressed...
 
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PrisMiQue

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I’ve been “settled down” for a minute now (5 years). Although it started out as mandatory due to legal issues I ended up finding someone special during that time and we have a son now.
Not going to lie, I definitely miss the fresh air of waking up in the morning in different places and all the experiences.

I try and plan a trip once a year at least because I do see how depression can creep in from being in one place for too long. The thing is the man I’m with never lived that traveling life we’ve lived and so traveling doesn’t seem to be the same lol
I’m really trying to focus on getting my career as an artist going in hopes to be able to travel more after it’s been established.


Your last sentence... what do you mean by it?
You’re depressed now or before you hit the road in the van?
 
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QU1DAM

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Depressed now.... settling down and digging my heels in for a career got nowhere, in SoCal or Las Vegas.

We basically ran an art store in Santa Cruz CA when we first setlled. My partner was having seizures (when we met schwill kids were having her steal booze for them and she would go to jail, when I invited her my camp and she had seizures I knew she needed someone who really would really care) and we got her help, I found us work at the art store - but the owner one night sold all the merch to a 3rd party without telling us we wouldn’t have jobs anymore (later we found out the store was a front for money laundering). My partner was already pregnant and what ensued was trying to find a place to bring our baby home to, they wouldn’t let us bring her home. Full term of prenatal care, humiliation in court without any support from anyone relatives or otherwise, supervised visits and 3 years later parental rights terminated anyways. We are not interested in having kids, even though I am an excellent tutor and she is a great nanny, and when we tried this in the process of settling down it did not go well. There is more to that merry go round ride from Babylon hell but ya left us pretty screwed up emotionally and psychologically.

We tried Las Vegas shortly after this and got jobs working for Bernie Sanders campaign. Then I worked at Cirque du Soleil in Las Vegas during the route 91 mass shooting, and found my coworkers territorial and pompous even after the community was calling for “unity” and “healing” in the midst of an attack...I was the only male (white) on a whole team of females (Latina) and they eventually carried out attempts to sabotage my efforts at work and get me fired. They did not appreciate art or music or have a passion for performing arts the way I do.

After all that, now we live in a van and are not settled down anymore... about 8 years together and after 2 years traveling settled down for about 6 now we’re back on the road. We tried visiting Arcata where we met but it reminded me of LA with the population explosion and we didn’t stay more than a couple hours after a bratty Humboldt trust fund baby covered in makeup looking like from a fashion catalog parked wrong blocking people in and I hit her side door, she provided her boyfriends insurance info... bullshit. He didn’t have enough integrity to address me he had his girl deal with the situation...

Never going back to CA for anything, we May try to go and help out at the council for Washington regionals rainbow and see where it goes from there...

Thanks for responding, I’m glad things worked out with you for settling down :)
 
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PrisMiQue

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Sorry to hear about what happened with your baby.
Please don’t give up on being parents tho... my parents lost parental rights when I was 5 and never got them back. They’re currently still on a Drug hiatus and their lives are very sad in TJ because they were deported (lost their papers due to felonies) .
If they would of quit the drugs and really tried they wouldn’t have been deported. I’m ok but my siblings suffered the most.
I’m hoping your child is with someone good, Good people because I was very troubled by not having my mom and dad around, it still very upsetting. I try and tell people that I’m used to it, in a way I am but it still hurts.

I understand people have different paths and I’m not here to judge just kinda hit me in the core when you mentioned your child.

Emotionally, you may need to escape and the Washington regionals rainbow council sounds like that maybe the way! Have some fun, sounds like you two have had it rough. And keep us updated on the gathering! I might want to make my way up north, haven’t been to one and would love to go!
 

PotBellyFatGuy

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you have experience running a small business (that art store in santa cruz). how about selling other stuff? retail is retail and it doesn't matter what you are selling in the end because income is important. it's great if it's art but if not, still make some money.

hate having to hear that story about those girls down in vegas and treating you bad. if it's not obvious by now, the white male (especially straight and "normal") is under attack by liberal media in this country. that wasn't a surprise but i see working for someone else as a step backwards unless you are doing it for funding your next operation of sorts.
 
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Deleted member 21003

I deleted myself
Sort of, I came back after some fucked up shit happened to me in New Mexico and I just can't find the will power to go. I bought a trailer, pay diddly squat in rent and spend most of my time doing art. I think if the living situation changed then, maybe I would leave, but right now I've got my circus friends to be around and a comfy spot to collect garbage. I guess I'm settled now?
 
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QU1DAM

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I've got my circus friends to be around
Thats what's whats making it hard for us... we havent made many friends over the years together. There's nobody really "missing" us. That's good you have some people to be with, a community, that is worth sticking around for.

Ya, the president is making people that look like me seem definitely like the ones who fucked up the world...and ya ive got no tattoos or piercings just couldnt afford it, so they assume im a WASP or worse catholic... but im actually a pansexual polyamorous buddhist... but yes, we have been successful in a few different ventures just not long term. One of those being renting a room / apartment... and I havent had a job for over a year since 2008 just about...

We know our daughter is with decent people. My fucked up relatives nearby tho, and we're on the other side of the country, no communication with relatives or foster parents. The best we can hope is to somehow set ourselves up with a home where there is a room waiting for her when she can't live with those parents anymore....because being a kid is easy being an adult is far more difficult and we would like to be there for that phase of her life if we could...
 

Cornelius Vango

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during the route 91 mass shooting, and found my coworkers territorial and pompous even after the community was calling for “unity” and “healing” in the midst of an attack...I was the only male (white) on a whole team of females (Latina) and they eventually carried out attempts to sabotage my efforts at work and get me fired. They did not appreciate art or music or have a passion for performing arts the way I do.
I'm just baffled by your constant unnecessary passive aggressive assertions/assumptions sprinkled into all your posts.
 

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