drunk hitchhiking

[deleted user]

so, fellow stp user vulture and I were hitchhiking out of south carolina when we were picked up by a drunk country boy named "oh" who was driving to see his great grandma or whatever.

well, we were getting off in virginia and so he offered us the full ride. we took it and before long were all drinking and singing and what have you.

"can you boys drive stick shift?"
oh great, yes, I can. so I do. drunk. as drunk as a middle class step dad.

literally 15 minutes later we hydroplane and total the dude's truck. cops come and I used my devilish charms to get us all out of drunk trouble, especially saving my own ass with drunk driving and distribution to minors.

just a funny little segment of the millions of meaningless but hilariously awesome I run into traveling.

 

[Hillbilly Castro]

How'd you save yer drunk asses with the cops?

 

[warlo]

After 9 days of hitchin' from north norway to Oslo, trough sweden, -20C/-30C average, the last 100km to reach final destination, its late, im tired, not a single car, fucking long hours, no chance of sleeping without freezing, snow is coming and its already -30... the only car that comes stops, its a van driven by a polish dude who says jump in. Once in, he says "ahh, one thing: Im drunk, hope you dont mind". I see empty beer cans around the car, one in his hand and notice that indeed he was drunk. Asked him if he minded that I tell him to slow down or to drive straight if he was over speeding or driving wrongly, he said that's ok. some scary 100km later I arrive safely to the center of Oslo.

Sometimes I guess it can turn up good even in icy roads

 

[OstrichJockey]

Yo, I always get the best rides hitching from ramps drunk.

Was dancing my ass off, wasted, at a ramp right outside of Richmond, Virginia. Was trying to catch a ride to Fredericksburg to get a bus ticket from there, at a badass day center they have, going to New Orleans and hopefully make it there in time for Easter. (Was like three days before Easter) Some guy stops in a brand new Challenger, "Get the fuck in! I'm in a hurry." I asked him where he was going and he asked me. Said he could drop me in Fredericksburg or he could bring me to New Orleans in time for Easter if I was down to ride to Philly. He had to go there for his son's funeral, and we ended up missing it by an hour. We drank the entire way, stayed in high end hotels. He said he hitchihiked the country for 20 years and ended up meeting an old lady with a 2000 acre farm, full of oil, in Texas and he married her and is now rich as fuck.

 

[iamwhatiam]

Cool story, im just glad you didnt kill anyone driving drunk. drivin drunk isnt cool

 

[Kim Chee]

It's all fun and games until somebody wraps a truck around a tree. Glad everybody came out ok.

How'd you save yer drunk asses with the cops?

Er, hi ossifer, we had a...uh desugnaded dryver until just after the aksident upon witch time he flooded the seen.

 

[Vulture]

Ha, you're a shitty story teller

 

[Horrid]

Ended up bouncing between chehalis and Centralia for 6 hours between 3 different rides because I was so hammered I stood on the wrong ramp. TWICE. ended up finally getting out to nowhere from this dude and his 13 year old son who I accidentally called his wife because he looked like a very Butch lesbian to my drunk ass. Ended up sleeping in some septic shed behind a place called spiffy's or something like that between chehalis and Portland.