after an absence i am coming back with a request

[Ande1968]

I participated with the site many months ago and i got derailed in life.
I am coming back and asking for help this time, I am asking for someone or something to help me out of my learned introverted, capitalistic, white-collar lifestyle.
I do not want to live this crazy, hectic, stationary lifestyle any longer.
I want to hit the road, i have spent the last 5 years getting ready for it and now i just can't seem to kick it off.
I am the typical middle aged over indulged, self centered, absorbed in the it's a;ll about me world.
I am asking if there is a person out there that is free thinking, free willed and is willing to take on a project.
I am just stuck in a provider mind and i need someone to help me release these chains, I don't want drama, i have spent the last 5 years shedding mine.
I need a person to help me break the chains. I know it sounds crazy, i don't know who else to turn to. everyone i know says i am having a crisis, i don't feel in crisis, i feel like i am working to die. I want to live, i want to go, I am scared, i am afraid to break the chains.
Does that make sense

 

[Kim Chee]

It does sound crazy, but not unusual at all.

For me, resigning myself to a 9-5 grind is crazy.

That first step I took was the most scary and liberating at the same time.

As for helping you "break the chains" I am unwilling to do that...Not that I think you deserve chains.

There are plenty of people here who can and probably will help you do that.

You do have wheels?

That's a nice start

 

[Ande1968]

thank you for your reply, I just don't know what else to do. I found this site last year and i watch the freedom that is experienced and i want that.
I assure you i know it is not glamorous and sometimes life is difficult and hard to deal with.
I want the moments they feel, good, bad and indifferent.

 

[BadKidNick]

I participated with the site many months ago and i got derailed in life.
I am coming back and asking for help this time, I am asking for someone or something to help me out of my learned introverted, capitalistic, white-collar lifestyle.
I do not want to live this crazy, hectic, stationary lifestyle any longer.
I want to hit the road, i have spent the last 5 years getting ready for it and now i just can't seem to kick it off.
I am the typical middle aged over indulged, self centered, absorbed in the it's a;ll about me world.
I am asking if there is a person out there that is free thinking, free willed and is willing to take on a project.
I am just stuck in a provider mind and i need someone to help me release these chains, I don't want drama, i have spent the last 5 years shedding mine.
I need a person to help me break the chains. I know it sounds crazy, i don't know who else to turn to. everyone i know says i am having a crisis, i don't feel in crisis, i feel like i am working to die. I want to live, i want to go, I am scared, i am afraid to break the chains.
Does that make sense

Yo, lesbian honest I only read 1/4 of that shit. Just saying I'm sitting good half from my 3rd pallet if you wanna meet up. I stay with work, an have unlimited Grey's. Call me 612 930 9700 let's get you moving around.

 

[Ande1968]

Badkidnick
Thank you for the offer; i read your intro, I am not a drinker nor a smoker.
I am as about as new as one can get, i do appreciate your offer/posting however i don't think you would be conducive to what i am searching for, let me get the green off and maybe we can meet on the road in the future.
Again thank you but right now i need to start mellow.

 

[Leocalifornya]

Ande, bro, I feel it. I think many people on this site do as well. It seems to be a more and more common theme among free thinking humans these days.. Heck, maybe it's been this way for as long as society has had the many negative qualities that are necessary for a society to be what it is?? (if that makes even a small amount of sense )

It's hard to know where exactly you are mentally, only you really know that for sure, so I can only give you a few pointers from my own perspective that may or may not help.

First off, you may not feel in crises, but you probably are, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. All it means is you are tired of being and doing what everyone else expects of you. It's time to live your life as you see fit, to hell with what other people are demanding of you. It IS your life isn't it? So you should be the one calling the shots. Not your family, not you friends, not your doctor, not the government, YOU!

That leads me into the next most important thing. WHAT do you want? Really contemplate this. Even though it will change a hundred times in the next year, still, try to map it out in your head, or on paper. Figure out what kind of life MIGHT make you happy. However foolish or weird or crazy or whatever. This is your life brother, do with it as you please. Try to find some hidden dreams deep down in your psyche, elaborate on those dreams, really dig bro and find your 'happy place'.

Finally, GO FOR IT! You emphasized the fact that you can't seem to break loose. I get this, I really get this. It is frightening, uncomfortable, daunting, uncertain, down right terrifying, to forge ahead and do what you have never done before. Especially when it goes against what friends and family are telling you. But like I said above, this is YOUR life, not theirs, do what makes YOU happy, not them.

Ande, bro, you don't want yet another person taking you by the hand and telling you exactly what to do. I know you feel at a loss and you just don't know what to do. But you feel this way BECAUSE you have been doing what others want you to do your whole life. Living according to the standards of a society that does NOT have your personal best interest in mind. If you must, force yourself into the life you want. If the road is truly calling to you and it seems that is what will make you happy, then sell your house, get a nice vehicle (prob an RV for you), pick a direction and drive until you have to stop for gas (then drive a little more). Don't think about it, just do it.

If you need someone to chat with, shoot me a message. I'm right her for ya bro

 

[Ande1968]

leocalifornya
dam nice response thank you for the kind word and information.
what happened to us?
how is it as a child and into teenage years we could make friends and i mean friends and now as we age we can make none.
we go to work, the gym, the local watering hole and we make acquaintances in each location however there are no friends, your high school relations are gone by the way side, you college friends gone by the wayside, military friends gone by the wayside.
i think if i had a wolf pack i would not be in such a shitty condition.
In our adult age and setting we are constantly trying to sell ourself for a job, for a girl, for a club, we have to offer something to the individual and or organization or we are deemed not of value.
friends, let me clarify real friends do not ask anything of us, they are just friends and in this day and because of our age we can not make friends due to our hurt, grumpy feelings, we don't want to feel the pain of another let down.
I thin,k thats my quest to make some friends that are there for me and i am there for them with no boundaries.
why can't we make friends like we used to, maybe thats what is drawing me to this site i hear and read the stories of making friends.

 

[Ande1968]

Ande, bro, I feel it. I think many people on this site do as well. It seems to be a more and more common theme among free thinking humans these days.. Heck, maybe it's been this way for as long as society has had the many negative qualities that are necessary for a society to be what it is?? (if that makes even a small amount of sense )

It's hard to know where exactly you are mentally, only you really know that for sure, so I can only give you a few pointers from my own perspective that may or may not help.

First off, you may not feel in crises, but you probably are, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. All it means is you are tired of being and doing what everyone else expects of you. It's time to live your life as you see fit, to hell with what other people are demanding of you. It IS your life isn't it? So you should be the one calling the shots. Not your family, not you friends, not your doctor, not the government, YOU!

That leads me into the next most important thing. WHAT do you want? Really contemplate this. Even though it will change a hundred times in the next year, still, try to map it out in your head, or on paper. Figure out what kind of life MIGHT make you happy. However foolish or weird or crazy or whatever. This is your life brother, do with it as you please. Try to find some hidden dreams deep down in your psyche, elaborate on those dreams, really dig bro and find your 'happy place'.

Finally, GO FOR IT! You emphasized the fact that you can't seem to break loose. I get this, I really get this. It is frightening, uncomfortable, daunting, uncertain, down right terrifying, to forge ahead and do what you have never done before. Especially when it goes against what friends and family are telling you. But like I said above, this is YOUR life, not theirs, do what makes YOU happy, not them.

Ande, bro, you don't want yet another person taking you by the hand and telling you exactly what to do. I know you feel at a loss and you just don't know what to do. But you feel this way BECAUSE you have been doing what others want you to do your whole life. Living according to the standards of a society that does NOT have your personal best interest in mind. If you must, force yourself into the life you want. If the road is truly calling to you and it seems that is what will make you happy, then sell your house, get a nice vehicle (prob an RV for you), pick a direction and drive until you have to stop for gas (then drive a little more). Don't think about it, just do it.

If you need someone to chat with, shoot me a message. I'm right her for ya bro

thank you and i do like your post

 

[Applelatchun]

Sometimes, we just need to go.

 

[Whereamiwhatdoido]

This truly peaked my interest dear fellow.
There is one thing that shoots me reading this thread. There is a sense of adventure, but still a lack of goals. Like most adventures, they have a quest, a feeling, a groove. What's your groove @Ande1968 ?

You need to start dreaming! Dream big, dream unreal, then find the middle ground.

#1 Would you like to jump a train?
#2 Would you want to travel around in a van picking up interesting or weird hithhikers? #2/1 Or would you just want to ride along minding yourself and stop at the spectacular views of civilization, or nature resting here and there to then continue? Could you imagine yourself doing that?
#3 Or a big moterbike with a small camper/tent strolling behind, or having a dog in the side wheels.

I don't know man just trying to narrow down a bit what you could imagine yourself doing alright.

Like a freeminded person doesn't just get born that way. It's not a matter of external compulsions on their own, it's mostly about the feeling inside and following that.



/I ate food from a garbage can, checking around town every day or other, just to live for a while.. - what I'm asking is where you could be comfortable mate.

 

[Ande1968]

I don't know if i could handle the dumpster diving, i did when i was a kid, there was no stigma.
I was a neighborhood rat and we would hit the local bakery and supermarkets, hell they used to hand the stuff out the front door.
I have been wandering around the back of the stores to the dumpsters lately just to look.
I seen one haul on here and they throw everything away. shame should just hand it out the front door. put it in a box, leave it in a cart out the front door and put a sign that says free on it.
Putting a lot of thought into this.

 

[Leocalifornya]

"Friends, how many of us have them? Friends, those we can depend on?"

I totally get this, as do many, many others. Friends are easy to make when we are kids because our expectations were very low. Now, we have a whole new perspective on life. We have specific needs and desires when building and maintaining friendships. This is a tough post to answer, because there are so very many variables, but I will try.

First of all, making friends starts with you. I know this seems counter-intuitive, but you need to be in the right frame of mind if you are seeking out good, solid friendships. Essentially, your goal should be to drop all your internal boundaries. All those aspects of your personality you have built up over the years which prevent you from accepting others into your life whole-heartedly. Now, don't misunderstand. Don't turn yourself into a pushover; remain cautious and vigilant. Recognize the faults of others and determine for yourself if those faults are acceptable enough for you to deal with. But know too, that EVERYONE has baggage of some kind. Everyone NEEDS something from a friendship. Like I said above, making friends when we were kids was easy because our expectations were low. But adults have many expectations. To have a great friendship, YOU must be a great friend. And to be a great friend, it is essential that you compromise at every opportunity. It is a fine line that must be walked, between total self-sacrifice and selfish need, to maintain a truly rewarding friendship.

Secondly, choose wisely. This also requires you to know yourself. Because before you can decide what kind of friend you want, you need to know who you are. There are countless people out there right now that would be more than willing to be your friend. They are in the same frame of mind you are. Unsure of life, unsure of the future, and strongly desiring friends. So you basically have your pick. But know yourself and know who you are looking for. I suggest starting with your interests, getting involved with local activities that suit those interests, and making friendly contacts. Going out with potential friends is like going out on a date. So make some friend "dates" and find a great companion. They are definitely out there.

Finally, and most difficultly, BUILD a friendship. This is the most challenging part by far. Not only because it is difficult and time consuming and filled with pit falls, let downs, and even potential danger. No, it is challenging because you are only half the equation. Even if you do absolutely everything right, find just the right person, and completely let them into your life. If they do not return the same effort then you are still only at 50%, and that is an F my brother. That's no bueno.

Just put yourself out there bro. It is hard, time consuming, physically and emotionally draining, and can push you to the very brink. But living without friends is far worse! Be ready and willing to get hurt, but also know that each time you are hurt it is an opportunity to grow and become stronger. Most people are good, decent humans that are worth your time and attention. And you will find that if you genuinely open yourself up to all kinds of people, bring no preconceived ideas or expectations, and just accept each person as they are; making friends is actually a breeze. Love people as they are bro. Love them as if they are an extension of yourself. Love them as if they are your brother, or sister, or parent, or child. Take the time to know them and accept them and care for them. An in time you will find that they will return these sentiments in abundance. Before you know it you will have such amazing friendships that you will wonder how you ever did without.

Just go for it bro! YOU are the only one holding you back.

 

[Ande1968]

WOW, and i mean holy cow, shit WOW,
Fucking EPIC does not describe that post.